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JOHN  M.  KELLY  LIBRARY 


DONATED  'N  fMORY  OF 
DR.  GEORGE  HEIMAN 


University  of 
St.  Michael's  College,  Toronto 


THE 

COMEDIES 

OF 

P    L   A    U    T    U    S 

LITERALLY  TRANSLATED   INK)   ENGLISH  PROSE,  WITH  NOTES 


HENRY  THOMAS  RILEY,  B.A. 

LATE  SCHOLAR  OF  CLARE   HALL,    CAMBRIDGE. 


IN  TWO  VOLUMES. 
VOL.    1. 


CONTAINING  THE 

TRINUMMUS,  MILES  GLORIOSUS,  BACCHIDES,  STICHUS,  PSEUDOLUS 

MEN^CHMI,  AULULARIA,  CAPTIVI,  ASINARIA, 

AND  CURCULIO. 


LONDON :  GEORGE  BELL  &  SONS,  YORK  STREET, 
CO VENT  GARDEN. 

1880. 


LONDON : 

PRINTED  BY   WILLIAM   CLOWES   AND  SONS,   LIMITED. 

STAMFORD  STREET  AND  CHARING  CROSS 


PREFACE. 


The  following  pages  contain  a  literal  translation  of  all  the 
existing  works  of  Marcus  Accius  Plautus  (or,  as  lie  is  called 
by  Eitschel  and  Fleckeisen,  T.  Maccius  Plautus),  the  Eoman 
Comic  writer.  It  is  believed  that  this  version  will  be  found 
strictly  faithful,  and  to  convey  to  the  English  reader  much  of 
that  spirit  which  rendered  the  Dramas  of  this  rugged  but 
interesting  author  such  especial  favourites  with  a  Eoman 
audience. 

The  text  of  Eitschel  has  been  adopted  in  the  six  plays  to 
which  his  invaluable  labours  have  as  yet  extended — the 
Trinummus,  Miles  G-loriosus,  Bacchides,  Stichus,  Pseudolus, 
and  Menaechmi.  Hildyard's  Edition  has  been  used  in  the 
Aulularia,  with  the  exception  of  the  Supplement  by  Codrus 
Urceus,  which  has  been  translated  from  Eichter's  Edition. 
The  text  of  Lindemann  has  been  adopted  in  the  Captivi; 
in  the  Asinaria,  that  of  Eichter ;  and  in  the  Curculio,  that 
of  "Fleckeisen. 

Some  account  of  the  Translations  of  Plautus  which  have 

previously  appeared  in  the  English  language  will  be  prefixed 

to  the  Second  Volume. 

H.  T.  E. 


CONTENTS, 


PAGJ 

Trinummus  ;  the  Three  Pieces  of  Money  ....       1 

Miles  Gloriosus  :  the  Braggart  C>pt«n    ■  .    67 

Bacchides  ;  ok,  the  Twin-Sisters 145 

Stichus  ;  or,  the  Parasite  Rebuffed 211 

Pseudolus  ;  or,  the  Cheat 253 

Men.echmi  ;  or,  the  Twin-Brothers 317 

AULULARIA  ;    OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE  ....    373 

CAPTIVI  ;   THE  CAPTIVES     .  *      .   423 

ASINARIA  ;    OR,  THE  AsS-DeALEB 477 

CURCULIO  ;    OR,  THE  FORGERY      • 535 


TRINUMMUS; 
THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONKS. 


Luxury. 
Poverty. 


Bramatts  persons'. 
IN  THE  PROLOGUE. 


IN  THE  PLAY. 


Charmides,  an  Athenian  merchant. 

Lesbonicus,  the  son  of  Charmides. 

Callicles,  a  friend  of  Charmides. 

Megaronides,  a  friend  of  Callicles. 

Stasimus,  the  servant  of  Charmides  and  Lesbonicus. 

Philto,  a  wealthy  Athenian, 

Lysiteles,  the  son  of  Philto,  and  a  friend  of  LesDonicofi. 

A  Sharper. 

&*mc-— A  Street  in  Athens :  the  house  of  Charmides  on  one  side,  and  that  y 
Philto  on  the  otha-. 


THE  SUBJECT. 


Jharmides,  a  wealthy  Athenian,  his  property  having  been  much  diminished 
by  the  reckless  conduct  of  his  son,  goes  abroad.  His  dissolute  son,  Lesbonicus. 
being  left  behind  at  Athens,  consumes  the  little  resources  left  him,  and  then 
puts  up  his  father's  house  for  sale.  At  his  departure,  Charmides  has  entrusted 
his  interests  and  the  care  of  his  son  and  daughter  to  his  friend  Callicles,  and 
has  also  informed  him  that  in  his  house  there  is  a  treasure  buried  as  a  re- 
serve against  future  contingencies.  In  order  that  this  may  not  be  lost, 
Callicles  buys  the  house  of  Lesbonicus  for  a  small  sum.  Ignorant  cf  his 
reason  for  doing  so,  his  fellow- citizens  censure  him  for  his  conduct,  and 
accuse  him  of  a  breach  of  good  faith  in  ministering  to  the  extravagance  of 
Lesbonicus  by  supplying  him  with  money.  For  this  reason  Megaronides  ex- 
postulates with  his  friend  Callicles,  and  greatly  censures  him;  on  which, 
Callicles,  in  self-defence,  entrusts  him  with  the  secret  of  the  treasure.  Char- 
mides having  left  behind  him  a  grown-up  daughter  in  the  care  of  Callicles, 
Lysiteles,  a  young  man  of  rank  and  character,  falls  in  love  with  her,  and 
through  his  father,  Pbilto,  asks  her  in  marriage.  Her  brother,  Lesbonicus,  is 
not  averse  to  the  match,  but  refuses  to  let  her  marry  without  giving  her  a 
portion ;  and  he  offers  her  to  Lysiteles,  on  condition  that  he  will  receive  as 
her  marriage-portion  a  piece  of  land  near  the  city,  the  sole  remnant  of  his  for- 
tune. This,  however,  Lysiteles  refuses  to  accept.  In  the  mean  time,  Callicles,  at 
the  suggestion  of  Megaronides,  determines  to  give  the  young  woman  a  dowry 
out  of  the  treasure  buried  in  the  house  which  he  has  bought ;  but  that  Les- 
bonicus may  not  suspect  whence  the  money  really  comes,  a  Sharper  is  hired, 
with  instructions  to  pi-etend  that  he  brings  letters  from  Charmides  with  a 
thousand  gold  pieces  as  a  portion  for  his  daughter  when  she  should  marry. 
It  happens,  that  while  the  Sharper  is  on  his  way  with  his  pretended  errand  til 
the  abode  of  Callicles,  Charmides,  having  unexpectedly  returned  to  Athens, 
is  going  towards  his  house.  He  meets  the  Sharper,  who  discloses  his  errand 
and  attempts  to  impose  upon  Charmides,  who  thereupon  discovers  himself. 
Charmides  then  meets  his  servant  Stasimus,  who  tells  him  cf  the  purchase 
of  his  house  by  Callicles.  whereon  he  conceives  himself  to  have  been  betrayed 
by  his  friend.  Afterwards,  on  discovering  the  truth,  he  praises  the  fidelity 
of  Callicles,  and  bestows  his  daughter  on  Lysiteles,  with  a  portion  of  a 
thousand  gold  pieces,  and,  at  the  intercession  of  Lysiteles,  he  forgives  his  son 
Lesbonicus,  and  informs  him  that  he  is  to  be  married  to  the  daughter  of  Cal- 
licles. 


TRINUMMUS; 
THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONEY. 


THE  ACROSTIC  ARGUMENT. 
[Supposed  to  have  been  written  by  Priscian  the  Grammarian.] 
Jharmides,  going  abroad,  entrusts  a  treasure  (Thesaurum)  secretly  hidden, 
and  all  his  property  (Bern),  to  his  friend  Callicles.  He  (Istoc)  being  absent, 
his  son  wantonly  squanders  his  estate.  For  {Nam)  he  sells  even  the  house : 
and  Callicles  makes  purchase  of  it.  His  sister,  a  maiden  (  Virgo)  without  a 
dowry,  is  asked  in  marriage.  That  in  a  less  degree  (Minus),  with  censure, 
Callicles  may  bestow  on  her  a  dowry,  he  commissions  one  (Mandat)  to  say 
that  lie  has  brought  the  gold  from  her  father.  When  (Ut)  the  Counterfeit  has 
reached  the  house,  the  old  man  (Senex),  Charmides,  as  he  has  just  returned, 
disappoints  him ;  his  children  then  are  married. 


THE   PBOLOGUE1. 
Enter  Luxury  and  Poverty. 
Lux.  Follow  me  this  way,  daughter,  that  you  may  per- 
form your  office. 

Pov.  I  am  following,  but  I  know  not  what  to  say  will 
be  the  end  of  our  journey. 

Lux.  'Tis  here.     See,  this  is  the  house.     Now  go  you  in. 

{Exit  Poverty,  who  enters  the  house  of  Charmides. 
Lux.  (to  the  Audience).  Now,  that  no  one  of  you  may 
he  mistaken,  in  a  few  words  I  will  conduct  you  into  the  right 
path,  if,  indeed,  you  promise  to  listen  to  me.  Pirst,  then,  I 
will  now  tell  you  who  I  am,  and  who  she  is  who  has  gone  in 
here  (pointing  to  the  house),  if  you  give  your  attention.     In 

1  The  Prologue)  This  Prologue  is  one  of  the  few  figurative  ones  to  he  found  in 
the  Comedies  of  Plautus.  He  appropriately  represents  Luxury  as  introducing 
her  daughter  Poverty  to  the  abode  of  the  dissipated  Lesbonicus.  Claudian  has 
a  somewhat  similar  passage  in  his  poem  to  Rutinus : 

Et  Luxus,  populator  opum,  cui,  semper  adhserens, 

Infelix  humili  gressu  comitatur  Egestas. 
44  And  Luxury,  the  waster  of  wealth,  whom,  ever  attending,  wretched  Poverty  ac- 
companies with  humble  step."     It  has  been  justly  observed,  that  Plautus  her* 
-voids  a  fault  which  he  often  falls  into,  of  acquainting  the  audience  with  too 
much  of  the  plot. 

b2 


4  TBItfUMHUS  ;  Act  1. 

the  first  place,  Plautus  has  given  me  the  name  of  Luxury,  and 
then  he  has  willed  that  this  Poverty  should  be  my  daughter. 
"But  why,  at  my  suggestion,  she  has  just  entered  here,  listen 
and  give  attentive  ear  while  I  inform  you.  There  is  a  certain 
young  man  who  is  living  in  this  house ;  by  my  assistance  he 
has  squandered  away  his  paternal  estate.  Since  I  see  that 
there  is  nothing  left  for  him  to  support  me,  I  have  given  him 
my  daughter,  together  with  whom  to  pass  his  life.  But  ex- 
pect nothing  about  the  plot  of  this  play :  the  old  men  who 
will  come  hither  will  disclose  the  matter  to  you.  The  name 
of  this  play  in  the  Greek  is  "  The  Treasure"  [Thesaurus]  ; 
Philemon  wrote  it1 :  Plautus  translated  it  into  Latin2,  and 
gave  it  the  name  of"  The  Three  Pieces  of  Money"  [Trinum- 
mus],  Now,  he  begs  this  of  you,  that  it  may  be  allowed  the 
play  to  keep  that  name.  Thus  much  have  I  to  say.  Eare« 
well.     Attend  in  silence.  {Exit. 


ACT  THE  FIKST. 
Scene  I. 
Enter  Megaronedes. 
Meg.  To  reprove  one's  friend  for  a  fault  that  de- 
serves it,  is  a  thankless  task;  but  sometimes  'tis  useful  and 
'tis  profitable.  Therefore,  this  day  will  I  soundly  reprove 
my  friend  for  a  fault  that  much  deserves  it.  Unwilling  am 
I,  did  not  my  friendship  bid  me  do  it.  .For  this  faultiness 
lias  encroached  too  much  upon  good  morals,  so  drooping  now 
are  nearly  all  of  them.  But  while  they  are  in  this  distempered 
state,  bad  morals,  in  the  mean  time,  have  sprung  up  most 
plenteously,  like  well-watered  plants  ;  nor  is  there  now  any- 
thing abundant  here  but  these  same  bad.  morals.  Of  them 
ycu  may  now  reap  a  most  plenteous  harvest :  and  here  a  set 
of  men  are  making  the  favour  of  a  few  of  much  more  value 
than  that  in  which  they  may  benefit  the  many.  Thus  private 
interests  outdo  that  which  is  to  the  public  advantage — interests 
which  in  many  points  are  a  hindrance,  and  a  nuisance,  and 
cause  an  obstruction  both  to  private  and  to  public  welfare. 

1  Philemon  wrote  it) — Ver.19.  Not  only  Philemon,  but  Menander  also,  wrote 
a  play,  entitled  the  "  Treasure." 

-  In  Lathi) — Ver.  19.  "  Barbare."  We  learn  from  Festus,  and  other  authors, 
that  the  Greeks  were  in  the  habit  of  calling  all  nations,  without  exception,  but 
themselves,  "  barbarians.*'     Hence  the  present  expression,  which  literally  means 

into  barbarous  language." 


Sc.  II.  TJIE  THEEE  PIECES  01  MONET.  5 

Scene  II. 
Enter  Callicles. 

Call,  (as  he  enters) .  I  wish  our  household  G-od1  to  be 
graced  with  a  chaplet.  Wife2  (addressing  her  within),  pay 
him  due  respect,  that  this  dwelling  may  turn  out  for  us 
prosperous,  lucky,  happy,  and  fortunate;  and  (in  a  lower 
voice)  that,  as  soon  as  I  possibly  may,  I  may  see  you  dead 
and  gone. 

Meg.  This  is  he  who  in  his  old  age  has  become  a  chilu8 
— who  has  been  guilty  of  a  fault  that  deserves  correction. 
I  will  accost  the  man. 

Call,  (looking  around).  Whose  voice  is  it  that  sounds 
near  me  ? 

Meg.  Of  one  who  wishes  you  well,  if  you  are  as  I  desir ; 
you  to  be ;  but,  if  you  are  otherwise,  of  one  who  is  your 
enemy,  and  is  angry  with  you. 

Call.  Health  to  you,  0  my  friend  and  years'-mate !  How 
are  you,  Megaronides  ? 

Meg.  And,  i'  faith4,  health  to  you,  Callicles !  Are  you 
well  ?     Have  you  been  well  ? 

1  Household  God) — Ver.  39.  Literally,  "  Lar."  The  Lares  were  the  house- 
hold Gods,  or  tutelary  Deities  of  each  family.  The  figures  of  tb<jm  were  kept, 
among  the  Romans,  near  the  hearth,  in  the  "Lararium,"  whicli  was  a  recess 
formed  for  that  purpose,  and  in  which  prayers  were  offered  up  on  rising  in  the 
morning.  There  were  both  public  and  private  Lares.  The  latter  were  by  some 
thought  to  have  been  identical  with  the  "  Manes,"  or  "  shades,''  of*  the  ancestors 
of  the  family  occupying  the  house.  The  public  Lares  wore  the  "  Urban i,"  pre- 
siding over  the  cities;  "Rustici,"  over  the  country ;  "  Compitales,"  over  cross- 
roads ;  and  "  Marini,"  over  the  sea.  Varro  tells  us  that  there  were  265  stations 
for  the  statuss  of  the  Lares  at  the  corner  of  the  streets  of  Rome.  "  Lar"  was  an 
Etrurian  word,  signifying  "  noble,"  or  "  lord."  The  Greeks  adorned  t  heir  house- 
hold Gods  with  the  leaves  of  the  plane-tree,  the  Romans  with  ears  of  corn.  This 
was  especially  done  on  entering  a  new  house,  on  which  the  wish  was  expressed 
that  it  might  turn  out  prosperous,  lucky,  happy,  and  fortunate  to  the  new  occu- 
pants. "  Quod  bonum,  faustum,  felix,  fortunatumque  sit."  Callicles  here  ex- 
presses this  wish  on  taking  possession  of  the  house  which  he  has  just  bought  of 
Lesbonicus. 

2  Wife) — Ver.  40.  Being  at  the  door  of  his  house,  before  shutting  it,  he  calls 
to  his  wife  within.  His  kind  wish  as  to  the  duration  of  her  life  he  expresses  just 
as  he  shuts  the  door. 

3  Has  become  a  child) — Ver.  43.  He  means  to  say  that  he  has  become  a  bry, 
from  the  fact  of  his  being  in  need  of  correction. 

4  And  p  faith) — Ver.  49.  "  Hercle,"  "  by  Hercules ;"  "  Ecastor,"  "  by  Caster 


6  TMNT7MMUS  ;  Act    1 

Call.  I  am  well,  and  I  have  been  still  better. 

Meg.     And  bow  does  your  wife  do  ?     How  is  sbe  ? 

Call.  Better  than  I  wish. 

Meg.  'Tis  well,  i'  faith,  for  you,  that  she  is  alive  and 
well. 

Call.  Troth,  I  believe  that  you  are  glad  if  I  have  any 
misfortune. 

Meg.  That  which  I  have,  I  wish  for  all  my  friends  as 
well. 

Call.  Harkye,  how  does  your  wife  do  ? 

Meg.  She  is  immortal ;  she  lives,  and  is  likely  to  live. 

Call.  I'  faith,  you  tell  me  good  news ;  and  I  pray  the 
Gods  that,  surviving  you,  she  may  last  out  your  life. 

Meg.  By  my  troth !  if  indeed  she  were  only  married  to 
yourself,  I  could  wish  it  sincerely. 

Call.  Do  you  wish  that  we  should  exchange  ? — that  I 
should  take  yours,  and  you  mine  ?  I'd  be  making  you  not 
to  get  a  bit  the  better  of  the  bargain  of  me. 

Meg.  Indeed,  I  fancy1  you  would  not  be  surprising  me 
unawares. 

Call.  Aye,  faith,  I  should  cause  you  not  to  be  knowing3 
the  thing  you  were  about. 

Meg.  Keep  what  you've  got;  the  evil  that  we  know  is 
the  best.  But  if  I  were  now  to  take  one  that  I  know  not,  I 
should  not  know  what  to  do. 

Call.  In  good  sooth,  just  as  one  lives3  a  long  life,  one  lives 
a  happy  life. 

Meg.  But  give  your  attention  to  this,  and  have  done  witli 
your  joking,  for  I  am  come  hither  to  you  for  a  given  purpose. 

"  Edepol,"  "  by  Pollux,"  or  «  by  the  temple  of  Pollux,"  and  "  Pol,"  "  by  Pollux," 
were  the  every-day  oaths  in  the  mouths  of  the  Romans,  and  were  used  for  the 
purpose  of  adding  weight  to  the  asseverations  of  the  speaker.  A  literal  transla- 
tion of  them  throughout  this  work  would  hardly  be  in  accordance  with  the 
euphony  required  by  the  English  ear.  They  are  therefore  rendered  throughout 
by  such  expressions  as  "  i'  faith,"  "  troth,"  "  by  my  troth,"  &c. 

1  Indeed  I  fancy)— Ver.  61.  "  Neque,"  which  implies  a  negative,  seems  to  be 
more  in  accordance  with  the  sense  of  the  passage  than  the  affirmative  "  nempe," 
which  is  the  reading  of  Ritschel ;  it  has  therefore  been  adopted. 

2  Not  to  be  knowing)— Ver.  62.  That  is,  "  the  risk  you  would  run  in  taking  her 
far  your  wife." 

s  Just  as  one  lives) — Ver.  65.  The  meaning  of  this  passage  seems  to  be  somewha 
obscure,  and  many  of  the  Editions  give  this  line  to  Megaronides.    It  is  probable 


Sj.  IL  the  three  pieces  or  monet.  i 

Call.  Why  have  you  come  ? 

Meg.  That  I  may  rebuke  you  soundly  witli  many  harsh 
words.     Call.  Me,  do  you  say  ? 

Meg.  Is  there  any  one  else  here  besides  you  and  me  ? 

Call,  {looking  about).  There  is  no  one. 

Meg.  Why,  then,  do  you  ask  if  'tis  you  I  mean  to  re- 
buke ?  Unless,  indeed,  you  think  that  I  am  about  to  reprove 
my  own  self.  For  if  your  former  principles  now  flag  in  you, 
or  if  the  manners  of  the  age  are  working  a  change  in  your 
disposition,  and  if  you  preserve  not  those  of  the  olden  time, 
but  are  catching  up  these  new  ones,  you  will  strike  all  your 
friends  with  a  malady  so  direful,  that  they  will  turn  sick  at 
seeing  and  hearing  you. 

Call.  How  comes  it  into  your  mind  to  utter  these  ex- 
pressions ? 

Meg.  Because  it  becomes  all  good  men  and  all  good 
women  to  have  a  care  to  keep  suspicion  and  guilt  away  from 
themselves. 

Call.  Both  cannot  be  done.     Meg.  Why  so  ? 

Call.  Do  you  ask  ?  I  am  the  keeper  of  my  own  heart, 
so  as  not  to  admit  guilt  there ;  suspicion  is  centred  in  the 
heart  of  another.  For  if  now  I  should  suspect  that  you 
had  stolen  the  crown  from  the  head  of  Jupiter  in  the  Capitol1, 
the  statue  which  stands  on  the  highest  summit  of  the  temple ; 
if  you  had  not  done  so,  and  still  it  should  please  me  to  sus- 
pect you,  how  could  you  prevent  me  from  suspecting  you  ? 
But  I  am  anxious  to  know  what  this  matter  is. 

however,  that  Callicles  intends,  as  a  consolation  for  them  both,  to  say  that  life 
itself  is  a  blessing,  and  that  they  ought  not  by  unnecessary  anxieties  to  shorten 
it,  but  rather  to  submit  with  patience  to  their  domestic  grievances. 

1  In  the  Capitol) — Ver.  84.  Plautus  does  not  much  care  about  anachronism  or 
dramatic  precision ;  though  the  plot  of  the  play  is  derived  from  the  Greek,  and 
the  scene  laid  at  Athens,  he  makes  frequent  reference  to  Roman  localities  and 
manners.  It  is  probable  that  the  expression  here  employed  was  proverbial  at 
Rome,  to  signify  a  deed  of  daring  and  unscrupulous  character.  From  ancient 
writers  we  learn  that  there  was  a  statue  of  Jupiter  seated  in  a  chariot,  placed  or. 
the  roof  of  the  Capitoline  Temple.  Tarquinius  Priscus  employed  Etrurian  artists 
to  make  a  statue  of  pottery  for  this  purpose;  and  the  original  chariot,  with  ics 
four  horses,  was  made  of  baked  clay.  In  later  and  more  opulent  times,  the  crown 
placed  on  the  statue  was  of  great  value,  so  much  so  as  to  act  as  a  temptation 
to  one  Petilius,  who  attempted  to  steal  It,  and  being  caught  in  the  fact,  was  after- 
wards nicknamed  "  Capitolinus."  Mention  is  again  made  of  this  statue  in  the 
Mensechnii,  act  v  ,  sc.  5,  1.  38. 


S  TEINUMMXJ8  ;  Act  1. 

Meg  Have  you  any  friend  or  intimate  acquaintance 
whose  judgment  is  correct  ? 

Call.  Troth,  I'll  tell  you  without  reserve.  There  are 
some  whom  I  know  to  be  friends  ;  there  are  some  whom  I 
suspect  to  be  so,  but  whose  dispositions  and  feelings  I  am 
unable  to  discover,  whether  they  incline  to  the  side  of  a 
friend  or  an  enemy  ;  but  of  my  assured  friends,  you  are  the 
most  assured.  If  you  know  that  I  have  done  anything  un- 
wittingly or  wrongfully,  and  if  you  do  not  accuse  me  of  it, 
then  you  yourself  will  be  to  blame. 

Meg.  I  know  it ;  and  if  I  had  come  hither  to  you  for 
any  other  purpose,  you  request  what  is  right. 

Call.  If  you  have  anything  to  say,  I  am  waiting  for  it. 

Meg.  Then,  first  of  all,  you  are  badly  spoken  of  in  general 
conversation  by  the  public.  Your  fellow-citizens  are  call- 
ing you  greedy  of  grovelling  gain1 ;  and  then,  again,  there 
are  others  who  nickname  you  a  vulture3,  and  say  that  you 
care  but  little  whether  you  devour  enemies  or  fellow-citizens. 
Since  I  have  heard  these  things  said  against  you,  I  have,  to 
my  misery,  been  sadly  agitated. 

Call.  It  is,  and  it  is  not,  in  my  power,  Megaronides  :  as 
to  their  saying  this,  that  is  not  in  my  power ;  as  to  their 
saying  this  deservedly,  that  is  in  my  power. 

Meg.  Was  this  Charmides  a  friend  of  yours  ?  (He  points 
to  the  house  o/'Chaemides.) 

Call.  He  both  is  and  he  was.  That  you  may  believe  it 
to  be  so,  I  will  tell  you  a  circumstance  as  a  proof.  For 
after  this  son  of  his  had  squandered  awray  his  fortune,  and 
he  saw  himself  being  reduced  to  poverty,  and  that  his  daugh- 
ter was  grown  up  a  young  woman,  and  that  she  who  wras 
both  her  mother  and  his  own  wife  was  dead ;  as  he  himself 
was  about  to  go  hence  to  Seleucia3,  he  committed  to   my 

1  Greedy  of  grovelling  gain) — Ver.  100.  Plautus  makes  this  into  one  word, 
"  turpilucricupidum."  Probably  it  was  used  as  a  nickname  for  avaricious  per- 
sons. It  is  here  attempted  to  be  expressed  by  an  alliteration.  Thornton  renders 
it  "  Gripeall." 

2  A  vulture) — Ver.  101.  Both  on  account  of  the  sordid  and  greedy  habits  of  that 
bird,  and  because,  as  is  stated  in  the  next  line,  it  cares  not  which  side  supplies  its 
maw  when  it  follows  the  course  of  contending  armies. 

3  Hence  to  Seleucia) — Ver.  112.  There  were  several  cities  of  this  name.  The  one 
in  Syria,  a  maritime  city  on  the  Orontes,  near  Antioch,  is  probably  here  re- 
ferred to. 


Sc.  II.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONET.  9 

charge  the  maiden  his  daughter,  and  all  his  property,  and 
that  profligate  son.  These,  I  think,  he  would  not  have  en- 
trusted to  me  if  he  had  been  unfriendly  to  me. 

Meg.  What  say  you  as  to  the  young  man,  who  you  see  to 
be  thus  profligate,  and  who  has  been  entrusted  to  your  care 
and  confidence  ?  Why  do  you  not  reform  him  ?  Why  do 
you  not  train  him  to  frugal  habits  ?  It  would  have  been 
somewhat  more  just  for  you  to  give  attention  to  that  matter, 
if  you  could  have  somehow  made  him  a  better  man,  and  not 
for  you  yourself  to  be  a  party  to  the  same  disreputable  con- 
duct, and  share  your  dishonour  with  his  disgrace  ? 

Call.  What  have  I  done  ? 

Meg.  That  which  a  bad  man  would  do. 

Call.  That  is  no  name  of  mine. 

Meg.  Have  you  not  bought  this  house  from  that  young 
man  ?  (A paused)  Why  are  you  silent  ?  This,  where  you 
yourself  are  now  living.  {He  points  to  the  house  o/'Char- 
mides.) 

Call.  I  did  buy  it,  and  I  gave  the  money  for  it, — forty 
minae1,  to  the  young  man  himself,  into  his  own  hand. 

Meg.  Tou  gave  the  money,  do  you  say  ? 

Call.  'Twas  done ;  and  I  am  not  sorry  'twas  done. 

Meg.  I'  faith — a  young  man  committed  to  untrusty  keep- 
ing. Have  you  not  by  these  means  given  him  a  sword  with 
which  to  slay  himself  ?  For,  prithee,  what  else  is  it,  your 
giving  ready  money  to  a  young  man  who  loves  women,  and 
weak  in  intellect,  with  which  to  complete  his  edifice  of  folly 
which  he  had  already  commenced  ? 

Call.  Ought  I  not  to  have  paid  him  the  money  ? 

Meg.  Tou  ought  not  to  have  paid  him ;  nor  ought  you 
either  to  have  bought  anything  of  or  sold  anything  to  him ; 
nor  should  you  have  provided  him  with  the  means  of  be- 
coming worse.  Have  you  not  taken  in  the  person  who  was 
entrusted  to  you  ?  Have  you  not  driven  out  of  his  house 
the  man  who  entrusted  him  to  you  ?     By  my  faith,  a  pretty 

'  Forty  mince) — Ver.  126.  Unless  ke  adds  the  adjective  "aurea,"  "golden," 
Plautus  always  means  silver  "  minae."  The  "  mina"  was  the  sixtieth  part  of  th« 
Attic  talent,  and  contained  one  hindred  "  drachmas,"  of  about  ninepence  three- 
farthings  each. 


10  TE1NTJMHUS  ;  Act  L 

trust,  and  a  faithful  guardianship  !     Leave  him  to  take  care 
of  himself ;  he  would  manage  his  own  affairs  much  hetter. 

Call.  Tou  overpower  me,  Megaronides,  with  your  accu- 
sations, in  a  manner  so  strange,  that  what  was  privately  en- 
trusted to  my  secrecy,  fidelity,  and  constancy,  for  me  to  tell 
it  to  no  one,  nor  make  it  public,  the  same  I  am  now  com 
pelled  to  entrust  to  you. 

Meg.  Whatever  you  shall  entrust  to  me,  you  shall  take 
up  the  same  where  you  have  laid  it  down. 

Call.  Look  round  you,  then,  that  no  overlooker  may  be 
near  us  (Megaeonides  looks  on  every  side)  ;  and  look  around 
every  now  and  then,  I  beg  of  you. 

Meg.  I  am  listening  if  you  have  aught  to  say. 

Call.  If  you  will  be  silent,  I  will  speak.  At  the  time 
when  Charmides  set  out  hence  for  foreign  parts,  he  showed 

me  a  treasure  in  this  house,  here  in  a  certain  closet {He 

starts  as.  if  he  hears  a  noise.')     But  do  look  around. 

Meg.  There  is  no  one. 

Call.  Of  Philippean  pieces1  to  the  number  of  three  thou- 
sand. Alone  with  myself,  in  tears,  he  entreated  me,  by  our 
friendship  and  by  my  honour,  not  to  entrust  this  to  his  son, 
nor  yet  to  any  one,  from  whom  that  might  come  to  his 
knowledge.  Now,  if  he  comes  back  hither  safe,  I  will  restore 
to  him  his  own.  But  if  anything  should  happen  to  him,  at 
all  events  I  have  a  stock  from  which  to  give  a  marriage- 
portion  to  his  daughter,  who  has  been  entrusted  to  me,  that 
I  may  settle  her  in  a  condition  of  life  that  befits  her. 

Meg.  0  ye  immortal  gods !  how  soon,  in  a  few  words, 
you  have  made  another  man  of  me;  I  came  to  you  quite 
a  different  person.  But,  as  you  have  begun,  proceed  further 
to  inform  me. 

Call.  What  shall  I  tell  you  ?  How  that  this  worthless 
fellow  had  almost  utterly  ruined  his  caution  and  my  own 
trustiness  and  all  the  secret. 

Meg.  How  so  ? 

Call.  Because,  while  I  was  in  the  country  for  only  six 
days,  in  my  absence  and  without  my  knowledge,  without 

1  Of  Philippean  pieces) — Ver.  152.  These  were  gold  coins  much  in  circulation 
•throughout  Greece,  struck  bj  Philip,  King  of  Macedor. 


Sc.  II.  lilE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONEY.  11 

consulting  me,  he  advertised  with  bills1  this  house  for 
sale. 

Meg.  The  wolf  hungered  the  more,  and  cpened  his  moutli 
the  wider;  he  watched  till2  the  dog  went  to  sleep;  and 
intended  to  carry  off  the  whole  entire  flock. 

Call.  I'  faith,  he  would  have  done  it,  if  the  dogs  had  not 
perceived  this  in  time.  But  now,  in  my  turn,  I  wish  to  ask 
you  this :  let  me  know  what  it  was  my  duty  for  me  to  do. 
Whether  was  it  right  for  me  to  discover  the  treasure  to  him, 
against  which  very  thing  his  father  had  cautioned  me,  or 
should  I  have  permitted  another  person  to  become  the  owner 
of  this  house  ?  Ought  that  money  to  have  belonged  to  him 
who  bought  the  house  ?  In  preference,  I  myself  bought  the 
house ;  I  gave  the  money  for  the  sake  of  the  treasure,  that  I 
might  deliver  it  safe  to  my  friend.  I  have  not,  then,  bought 
this  house  either  for  myself  or  for  my  own  use  ;  for  Char- 
mides  have  I  bought  it  back  again ;  from  my  own  store  have 
I  paid  the  money.  This,  whether  it  has  been  done  right- 
fully or  wrongfully,  I  own,  Megaronides,  that  I  have  done. 
Here,  then,  are  my  misdeeds  ;  here,  then,  is  my  avarice.  Is 
it  for  these  things  that  they  spread  false  reports  against  me  ? 

Meg.  Stay — you  have  overcome  your  corrector.  Tou  have 
tied  my  tongue ;  there  is  nothing  for  me  to  say  in  answer. 

Call.  Now  I  entreat  you  to  aid  me  with  your  assistance 
and  counsel,  and  to  share  this  duty  of  mine  in  common  with 
me. 

Meg.  I  promise  you  my  assistance. 

Call.  Where,  then,  will  you  be  a  short  time  hence  ? 

Meg.  At  home. 

Call.  Do  you  wish  anything  else  ? 

Meg.  Attend  to  the  trust  reposed  in  you. 

Call.  That  is  being  carefully  done. 

Meg.  But  how  say  you ? 

1  AdveHised  with  bills) — Ver.  168.  The  method  among  the  Romans  of  letting, 
or  selling  houses,  was  similar  to  ours.  A  bill  was  fixed  upon  the  house,  or 
some  conspicuous  place  near  it,  inscribed  with  "  BAzs  locandae,"  u  This  house 
to  be  let,"  or  "  iEdes  vendundse,"  "  This  house  for  sale." 

2  He  watched  till) — Ver.  170.  He  alludes  to  the  conduct  of  Lesbonicus,  who 
watched  for  the  absence  of  his  guardian,  Callicles,  that  he  might  sell  the  house. 
This  he  would  attempt  to  do,  probably,  on  the  plea  that  his  father,  not  having  been 
heard  of  for  a  long  time,  must  be  presumed  to  be  dead,  and  the  house  has  coa- 
sequently  descended  to  him,  as  his  heir. 


12  TRINUAiAiUS  ;  Act  I. 

Call.  "What  do  you  want  ? 

Meg.  Where  is  the  young  man  living  now? 

Call.  This  back  part1  of  the  building  he  retained  when 
he  sold  the  house. 

Meg.  That  I  wanted  *to  know.  Now,  then,  go  at  once. 
But  what  say  you,  where  is  the  damsel  now?  She  is  at 
your  house,  I  suppose  ? 

Gall.  She  is  so ;  I  take  care  of  her  almost  as  much  as  of 
my  own  daughter. 

Meg.  Yoti  act  properly. 

Call.  Before  I  go  away,  are  you  going  to  ask  me  any- 
thing else  ? 

Meg.  Farewell.  {Exit  Callicles.)  Eealiy,  there  ie 
nothing  more  foolish  or  more  stupid,  nothing  more  lying  or 
indeed  more  tattling,  more  self-conceited  or  more  forsworn, 
than  those  men  of  this  city  everlastingly  gossiping  about,  whom 
they  call  Busybodies2.  And  thus  have  I  enlisted  myself  in 
their  ranks  together  with  them ;  who  have  been  the  swallower 
of  the  false  tales  of  those  who  pretend  that  they  know  every- 
thing, and  yet  know  nothing.  They  know,  forsooth,  what  each 
person  either  has  in  his  mind,  or  is  likely  to  have ;  they  know 
what  the  king  whispered  in  the  ear  of  the  queen ;  they  know 
what  Juno  talked  about  in  conversation  with  Jupiter ;  that 
which  neither  is  nor  is  likely  to  be,  do  these  fellows  know. 
Whether  they  praise  or  dispraise  any  one  they  please,  falsely 
or  truly,  they  care  not  a  straw,  so  they  know  that  which  they 

1  The  back  part) — Ver.  194.  "  Posticulum"  probably  means  detached  buildings 
at  the  back  of  the  house,  and  within  the  garden  walls,  which  adjoin  the  "  posti- 
cum"  or  "  posticula,"  the  "back  door"  or  "  garden-gate." 

2  Call  Busybodies) — Ver.  202.  The  word  "  Scurra,"  which  is  here  rendered 
"  busybody,"  originally  meant  "  a  fellow-townsman,"  well  to  do  in  life,  and  a 
nleasant  companion.  In  time,  however,  the  word  came  to  have  a  bad  signification 
attached  to  it,  and  to  mean  an  idle  fellow,  who  did  nothing  but  go  about  cracking 
his  jokes  at  the  expense  of  others,  gossiping,  and  mischief-making,  and  at  last  to 
signify  "  a  clown,"  "  buffoon,"  or  "  mimic  "  on  the  stage.  These  men  are  most 
probably  termed  here  "  assidui,"  "  everlasting  gossipers,"-from  a  habit  which  many 
people  have  of  making  frequent  calls  on  their  neighbours,  sitting  down,  and  never 
thinking  of  taking  their  departure  till  they  have  exhausted  all  their  stock  of  evil- 
speaking,  lying,  and  slandering.  Gossiping  was  notoriously  the  propensity  of  the 
Athenians.  Numbers  did  nothing  but  saunter  about  the  city,  and  go  from  spot 
to  spot,  with  the  question  ti  Kaivov,  "  Any  news  ?"  Few  will  fail  to  remem- 
ber the  censure  of  them  in  the  Seventeenth  chapter  of  the  Acts  of  the  Apostles, 
v.  21 :  w  For  all  the  Athenians  and  strangers  which  were  there  spent  their  time 
Hi  nothing  else,  but  either  to  tell,  or  to  heax  some  new  thing." 


Sc.  II.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONEY.  13 

choose  to  know.  All  people  were  in  the  habit  of  saying  that 
this  Callicles  was  unworthy  of  this  state,  and,  himself,  to 
exist,  who  had  despoiled  this  young  man  of  his  property. 
From  the  reports  of  these  tale-bearers,  in  my  ignorance  I 
rushed  forward  to  rebuke  my  guiltless  friend.  But  if  the 
authority  was  always  required  from  the  foundation,  upon 
which  they  speak  of  anything  they  have  heard,  unless  that 
clearly  appeared,  the  matter  ought  to  be  to  the  peril  and 
loss  of  the  tale-bearer.  If  this  were  so,  it  would  be  for  the 
public  benefit.  I  would  cause  those  to  be  but  few,  who 
know  that  which  they  do  not  know1,  and  I  would  make  them 
have  their  silly  chattering  more  restricted.  (Exit. 


ACT    THE    SECOND. 

Scene  I. 

Enter  Ltsiteles. 
Lts.  I  am  revolving  many  things  in  my  mind  at  once, 
and  much  uneasiness  do  I  find  in  thinking  upon  them.  I 
tease,  and  fret,  and  wear  myself  out ;  a  mind  that  enjoins  a 
hard  task2  is  now  my  master.  But  this  thing  is  not  clear  to 
me,  nor  has  it  been  enough  studied  by  me,  which  pursuit  of 
these  two  I  should  rather  follow  for  myself;  which  of  the 
two  I  should  think  of  the  greater  stability  for  passing  my  life 
therein  :  whether  it  were  preferable  for  me  to  devote  myself 
to  love  or  to  aggrandisement ;  in  which  alternative  there  is 
more  enjoyment  of  life  in  passing  one's  days.  On  this  point 
I  am  not  fully  satisfied.  But  this  I  think  I'll  do,  that  I  may 
weigh  both  the  points  together,  I  must  be  both  judge  and 
culprit  in  this  trial :  I'll  do  so — I  like  it  much.  Eirst  of  all, 
I  will  enlarge  upon  the  pursuits  of  love,  how  they  conduce 
to  one's  welfare.  Love  never  expects  any  but  the  willing  man 
to  throw  himself  in  his  toils ;  these  he  seeks  for,  these  he 
follows  up,  and  craftily  counsels  against  their  interests.  He 
is  a  fawning  flatterer,  a  rapacious  grapplers,  a  deceiver,  a 

1  They  do  not  know) — Ver.  221.  That  is,  "  who  only  pretend  to  know." 

2  That  enjoins  a  hard  task) — Ver.  226.    "  Exercitor  "  means  the  "  instructor  " 
or  "  training  master  "  in  the  Gymnastic  exercises.     Of  course,  to  beginners,  the 

'•  exercitores  "  would  be  hard  task-masters. 

3  A  rapacious  grappler) — Ver.  239.  "  Harpago"  means  either  a  "grappling- 
\r  jn"  or  a  "  flesh-hook."     It  was  often  made  in  the  form  of  a  hand,  with  the 


14  TBINUMMUS  ;  Act  H. 

sweet-tooth,  a  spoiler,  a  corrupter  of  men  who  court  retire- 
ment, a  pryer  into  secrets.  For  he  that  is  in  love,  soon  as 
ever  he  has  been  smitten  with  the  kisses  of  the  object  that 
he  loves,  forthwith  his  substance  vanishes  out  of  doors  and 
melts  away.  "  Give  me  this  thing1,  my  honey,  if  you  love  me, 
if  yon  possibly  can."  And  then  this  gudgeon  says  :  "  O  apple 
of  my  eye,  be  it  so :  both  that  shall  be  given  you,  and  still 
more,  if  you  wish  it  to  be  given."  Then  does  she  strike  while 
he  is  wavering2 ;  and  now  she  begs  for  more.  Not  enough 
is  this  evil,  unless  there  is  still  something  more — what  to 
eat,  what  to  drink.  A  thing  that  creates3  a  further  expense, 
the  favour  of  a  night  is  granted ;  a  whole  family  is  then 
introduced  for  her — a  wardrobe-woman4,  a  perfume-keeper5, 
a  cofferer,  fan-bearers6,  sandal-bearers7,  singing-girls,  casket- 
fingers  bent  inwards.  The  grappling-iron  was  used  to  throw  at  the  enemy's  ship, 
where  it  seized  the  rigging  and  dragged  the  vessel  within  reach,  so  that  it  might  be 
easily  boarde.l  and  destroyed.  Cupid  is  so  called  here,  figuratively,  from  his  in- 
sidious approaches,  and  the  difficulty  which  his  victims  have  in  shaking  him  off 

1  Give  me  this  thing) — Ver.  244.  This  is  supposed  to  be  pronounced  in  a 
mincing  or  affected  way,  to  imitate  the  wheedling  manners  of  the  frail  tempter. 

2  While  he  is  wavering) — Ver.  247.  Literally,  "  she  strikes  him  as  he  hangs." 
Lindemann  seems  to  think  that  there  is  a  play  upon  the  word  "pendentem," 
which  would  apply  either  to  the  slave,  who,  according  to  the  barbarous  custom  oi 
the  Romans,  was  lashed  as  he  hung  from  the  hook  to  which  he  was  fastened  by 
the  hands,  or  to  the  lover  who  is  hesitating  between  assent  and  refusal;  on 
which  she,  by  her  artfulness — "  ferit" — "  strikes  the  decisive  blow."  Terence  has 
the  expression  "  ferior  munere,"  "  to  strike  with  a  present." 

3  A  thing  that  creates) — Ver.  250.  This  passage  is  here  read  with  a  period  after 
"  comest,"  and  not  after  "  sumpti,"  as  Eitschel's  edition  lias  it.  This  seems  more 
agreeable  to  the  sense  of  the  passage,  which  is,  however,  probably  in  a  corrupt 
state. 

4  Wardrobe-woman) — Ver.  252.  The  duty  of  the  "  vcstiplica"  would  be  to  fold 
up  and  try  the  clothes  of  her  mistress.  These  slaves  were  also  called  "  vestispkae," 
and  servants  "  a  veste." 

*  A  perfume-keeper) — Ver.  252.  The  "  unctor  "  was  probably  a  male  slave, 
whose  duty  it  was  to  procure  and  keep  the  perfumes  and  unguents  for  his 
mistress. 

6 Fan-bearers) — Ver.  252.  Both  male  and  female  slaves,  and  eunuchs,  were 
employed  to  fan  their  mistresses.  The  fans  were  of  elegant  form  and  beautiful 
colours,  and  were  frequently  made  of  peacocks'  feathers,  being  of  a  stiff  shape, 
and  not  pliable,  like  ours.  They  were  used  both  for  the  purpose  of  cooling  the  air 
and  driving  away  flies  and  gnats. 

7  Sandal-bearers) — Ver.  252.  The  sandal  was  often  one  of  the  most  costly 
articles  of  the  female  dress,  being  much  adorned  with  embroidery  and  gold. 
Originally  it  was  worn  by  both  sexes,  and  consisted  of  a  wooden  sole,  fastened  with 


SO-  I-  1HI  THREE  PTEOES  OF  MONET.  15 

keepers1,  messengers,  news-carriers,  so  many  wasters  of  his 
bread  and  substance.  The  lover  himself,  while  to  them  he 
is  complaisant,  becomes  a  beggar.  When  I  revolve  these 
things  in  my  mind,  and  when  I  reflect  how  little  one  is  valued 
when  he  is  in  need ;  away  with  you,  Love — I  like  you  not 
— no  converse  do  I  hold  with  you.  Although  'tis  sweet  to 
feast  and  to  carouse,  Love  still  gives  bitters  enough  to  be 
distasteful.  He  avoids  the  Courts2  of  justice,  he  drives 
away  your  relations,  and  drives  yourself  away  from  your  own 
contemplation.  Nor  do  men  wish  that  he  should  be  called 
their  friend.  In  a  thousand  ways  is  Love  to  be  held  a  stranger, 
to  be  kepi  at  a  distance,  and  to  be  wholly  abstained  from. 
For  he  who  plunges  into  love,  perishes  more  dreadfully  than 
if  he  leapt  from  a  rock.  Away  with  you,  Love,  if  you  please  ; 
keep  your  own3  property  to  yourself.  Love,  never  be  you 
a  friend  of  mine  ;  some  there  are,  however,  whom,  in  their 
misery,  you  may  keep  miserable  and  wretched — those  whom 
you  have  easily  rendered  submissive  to  yourself.  My  fixed 
determination  is  to  apply  my  mind  to  my  advancement  in  life, 
although,  in  that,  great  labour  is  undergone  by  the  mind. 
Good  men  wish  these  things  for  themselves,  gain,  credit,  and 
honour,  glory,  and  esteem;  these  are  the  rewards  of  the  up- 
right. It  delights  me,  then,  the  more,  to  live  together  with  the 
upright  rather  than  with  the  deceitful  promulgators  of  lies. 

thongs  to  the  foot.  In  latter  times,  its  use  was  confined  to  females,  and  a  piece 
of  leather  covered  the  toes,  while  thongs,  elegantly  decorated,  were  attached  to  it. 
From  the  present  passage  it  appears  that  it  was  the  duty  of  a  particular  slave  to 
take  charge  of  sandals. 

1  CasketJceepers) — Ver.  253.  The  "  cistellatrix  "  probably  had  charge  of  the 
jewel  casket  of  her  mistress.  The  present  passage  shows  in  what  affluence  and 
splendour  some  of  the  courtesans  lived  in  those  days. 

2  Avoids  the  Courts)— ■  V er.  261.  Shakspeare  has  a  somewhat  similar  passage 
in  Ilomeo  and  Juliet: 

"  But  all  so  soon  as  the  all-cheering  sun 
Should  in  the  furthest  East  begin  to  draw 
The  shady  curtains  from  Aurora's  bed, 
Away  from  light  steals  home  my  heavy  son, 
And  private  in  his  chamber  pens  himself, 
Shuts  up  his  windows,  locks  fair  daylight  out, 
And  maKes  himself  an  artificial  night." 

3  Keep  your  own)— Yer.  266.  This  is  as  much  as  to  say,  "  I  divorce  myself 
from  you,  and  utterly  repudiate  you."  The  words  "  tuas  res  tibi  habeto"  were 
tht  formula  solemnly  pronounced  among  the  Romans  by  the  husband  in  caseo 
o<  divorce,  when  he  delivered  back  to  the  wife  her  own  separate  property. 


1G  TEINUMMUR  ;  Act  IL 


Scene  II. 
Enter  Philto. 

Phil,  {looking  abouf).  Where  has  this  man  betaken 
himself  out  of  doors  from  the  house  ? 

Lts.  (coming  up  to  him).  I  am  here,  father;  command 
me  what  you  will,  and  I  shall  cause  no  delay  to  you,  nor 
wi]l  I  hide  myself  in  any  skulking-place  out  of  your  sight. 

Phil.  You  will  be  doing  what  is  consonant  to  the  rest  of 
your  conduct  if  you  reverence  your  father.  By  your  duty  to 
me,  my  son,  I  wish  you,  for  my  sake,  not  to  hold  any  con- 
verse with  profligate  men,  either  in  the  street  or  in  the 
Forum.  I  know  this  age — what  its  manners  are.  The  bad 
man  wishes  the  good  man  to  be  bad,  that  he  may  be  like 
himself.  The  wicked,  the .  rapacious,  the  covetous,  and  the 
envious,  disorder  and  confound  the  morals  of  the  age:  a  crew 
gsupingfor  gain,  they  hold  the  sacred  thing  as  profane — the 
public  advantage  as  the  private  emolument.  At  these  things 
do  I  grieve,  these  are  the  matters  that  torment  me.  These 
things  am  I  constantly  repeating  both  day  and  night,  that 
you  may  use  due  precaution  against  them.  They  only  deem 
it  right  to  keep  their  hands  off  that  which  they  cannot  touch 
with  their  hands  ;  as  to  the  rest,  seize  it,  carry  it  off,  keep 
it,  be  off  and  go  hide,  that  is  the  word  with  them.  These 
things,  when  I  behold  them,  draw  tears  from  me,  because  I 
have  survived  to  see  such  a  race  of  men.  "Why  have  I  not 
rather  descended  to  the  dead1  ere  this  ?  For  these  men  praise 
v.he  manners  of  our  ancestors,  and  defile  those  same  persons 
whom  they  commend.  With  regard,  then,  to  these  pursuits, 
I  enjoin  you  not  to  taint  your  disposition  with  them.  Live 
after  my  fashion,  and  according  to  the  ancient  manners  ; 
what  I  am  prescribing  to  you,  the  same  do  you  remember 
and  practise.  I  have  no  patience  with  these  fashionable  man- 
ners, upsetting  preconceived  notions,  with  which  good  men 
are  now  disgracing  themselves.  If  you  follow  these  my  in- 
junctions to  you,  many  a  good  maxim  will  take  root  in  your 
breast. 

1  To  the  dead) — Ver.  291.  "  Ad  plures,"  "  to  the  many,"  signifies  "  the  dead, 
inasmuch  hs  they  are  more  in  number  than  the  living.  It  was  probably  used  as 
a  euphemism,  as  to  make  mention  of  death,  was  considered  ominous  of  ill.  H  jtnes 
in  the  Odyssey,  uses  tovs  7rXeiova.s  in  a  similar  sense. 


Sc.  II.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONEY.  17 

Lys.  From  my  earliest  youth,  even  up  to  this  present 
age,  I  have  always,  father,  paid  all  submission  to  the  injunc- 
tions you  have  given.  So  far  as  my  nature  was  concerned,  I 
considered  that  I  was  free  ;  so  far  as  your  injunctions  were 
concerned,  I  deemed  it  proper  that  my  mind  should  pay  all 
submission  to  you. 

Phil.  The  man  who  is  struggling  with  his  inclination  from 
his  earliest  age,  whether  he  ought  to  prefer  to  be  so,  as  his 
inclination  thinks  it  proper  that  he  should  be,  or  whether, 
rather  so  as  his  parents  and  his  relations  wish  him  to  be — if 
his  inclination  conquers  that  man,  it  is  all  over  with  him ;  he 
is  the  slave  of  his  inclination  and  not  of  himself.  But  if  he 
conquers  his  inclination,  he  truly  lives  and  shall  be  famed  as 
a  conqueror  of  conquerors.  If  you  have  conquered  your  in- 
clination rather  than  your  inclination  you,  you  have  reason  to 
rejoice.  'Tis  better  by  far  that  you  should  be  such  as  you 
ought  to  be,  than  such  as  pleases  your  inclination.  Those 
who  conquer  the  inclination  will  ever  be  esteemed  better  men 
than  those  whom  the  inclination  subdues. 

Lys.  I  have  ever  esteemed  these  maxims  as  the  shield  of 
my  youthful  age ;  never  to  betake  myself  to  any  place  where 
vice  was  the  order  of  the  day1,  never  to  go  to  stroll  about 
at  night,  nor  to  take  from  another  that  which  is  his.  I 
have  taken  all  precautions,  my  father,  that  I  might  not  cause 
you  uneasiness ;  I  have  ever  kept  your  precepts  in  due  pre- 
servation2 by  my  own  rule  of  conduct. 

Phil.  And  do  you  reproach  me,  because  you  have  acted 
aright  ?  For  yourself  have  you  done  so,  not  for  me :  my  life, 
indeed,  is  nearly  past3  ;  this  matter  principally  concerns  your 
own.      Keep  on   overlaying4  good  deeds   with  other  good 

1  Where  vice  was  the  order  of  the  day) — Ver.  314.  "  Damni  conciliabulum." 
Literally,  "  the  place  of  counsel  for  wickedness." 

2  In  due  preservation) — Ver.  317.  Buildings  were  said  to  be  "  sarta  tecta,"  "  in 
good  repair,"  when  the  roof  was  proof  against  rain.  The  expression  is  here  used 
figuratively,  to  signify,  "  I  have  punctually  observed  your  injunctions." 

3  Is  nearly  past) — Ver.  319.  It  is  worthy  of  remark  that  this  line  is  quoted  by 
Cicero  in  his  second  Epistle  to  Brutus :  "  Sed  de  hoc  tu  videris.  De  me  possum 
dicere  idem  quod  Plautinus  pater  in  Trinummo,  '  mihi  quidem  setas  acta  ferme 
est.' "  "As  for  that  matter,  it  is  your  concern.  For  my  own  part,  I  may  say  with 
the  father  in  the  Trinummus  of  Plautus,  '  my  life  is  nearly  past '  " 

4  Keep  on  overlaying) — Ver.  320.  Philto  is  most  probably  alluding  to  the  meta- 
phorical expression,  "sarta  tecta,"  used  just  before  by  his  son;  and  he  tells  him 

C 


18  TRItfTJMMUB ;  Act  IL 

deeds,  that  the  rain  may  not  come  through.  He  is  the  up- 
right man  who  is  not  content  with  it,  however  upright  and 
however  honest  he  may  chance  to  be.  He  who  readily  gives 
satisfaction  to  himself,  is  not  the  upright  man,  nor  is  he 
really  honest :  he  who  thinks  but  meanly  of  himself,  in  him 
is  there  a  tendency  to  well-doing. 

Lts.  For  this  reason,  father,  I  have  thought  that  since 
there  is  a  certain  thing  that  I  wish  for,  I  would  request  it  of 
you. 

Phil.  "What  is  it  ?     I  am  already  longing  to  give  assent. 

Lts.  A  young  man  here,  of  noble  family,  my  friend  and 
years'  mate,  who  has  managed  his  own  affairs  but  heedlessly 
and  unthinkingly — I  wish,  father,  to  do  him  a  service,  if  you 
are  not  unwilling. 

Phil.  From  your  own  means,  I  suppose  ? 

Lts.  From  my  own  means — for  what  is  yours  is  mine, 
and  all  mine  is  yours. 

Phil.  What  is  he  doing  ?     Is  he  in  want  ? 

Lts.  He  is  in  want. 

Phil.  Had  he  property  ?     Lts.  He  had. 

Phil.  How  did  he  lose  it  ?  "Was  he  connected  with  pub- 
lic business1,  or  with  commercial  matters  ?  Had  he  merchan- 
dise or  wares  to  sell,  when  he  lost  his  property  ? 

Lts.  None  of  these.     Phil.  What  then  ? 

Lts.  I'  faith,  my  father,  by  his  good-nature.  Besides,  to 
indulge  his  tastes,  he  wasted  some  part  of  it  in  luxury. 

Phil.  By  my  troth  now  !  a  fellow  spoken  of  boldly,  and  as l 
on  familiar  terms ; — one,  indeed,  who  has  never  dissipated 
his  fortune  by  any  good  means,  and  is  now  in  want.     1 
cannot  brook  that,  with  qualities  of  that   description,   he 
should  be  your  friend. 

Lts.  "lis  because  he  is  without  any  bad  disposition  that 
I  wish  to  relieve  his  wants. 

Phil.  He  deserves  ill  of  a  beggar  who  gives  him  what 
Co  eat  or  to  drink ;  for  he  both  loses  that  which  he  gives 

.hat  the  only  way  to  keep  rain  from  coming  in  at  the  roof  (that  is,  to  keep  eviJ 
thoughts  out  of  the  mind)  is  to  overlay  one  good  deed  with  another,  just  as  tile  is 
laid  upon  tile. 

1  With  public  business) — Ver.  331.  He  means  by  this  expression,  "  has  he  been 
farming  the  taxes  or  the  public  lands  ?"  which  of  course  would  be  a  pursuit  at- 
tended with  considerable  risk. 


SC.  II.  THE  THKEE  PIECES  OE  MONEY.  19 

and  prolongs  for  the  other  a  life  of  misery.  I  do  not  say 
this  because  I  am  unwilling  and  would  not  readily  do  what 
you  desire ;  but  when  I  apply  these  expressions  to  that 
same  person,  I  am  warning  you  beforehand,  so  to  have  com- 
passion on  others,  that  others  may  not  have  to  pity  you. 

Lxs.  I  am  ashamed  to  desert  him,  and  to  deny  him  aid 
in  his  adversity. 

Phil.  I'  troth,  shame  is  preferable  to  repentance  by  just 
as  many  letters1  as  it  consists  of 

Lts.  In  good  sooth,  father,  by  the  care  of  the  Grods, 
and  of  my  forefathers,  and  your  owrn,  I  may  say  that  we 
possess  much  property,  honestly  obtained.  If  you  do  a 
service  to  a  friend,  it  ought  not  to  make  you  repent  that  you 
have  done  so ;  it  ought  rather  to  cause  you  shame  if  you  do 
not  do  it. 

Phil.  If  from  great  wealth  you  subtract  something,  does 
it  become  more  or  less  ? 

Lts.  Less,  father.  But  do  you  know  what  is  wont  to  be 
repeated  to  the  niggardly  citizen3  ?  "  That  which  thou  hast 
mayst  thou  not  have,  and  mayst  thou  have  that  misfortune 
which  thou  hast  not ;  since  thou  canst  neither  endure  it  to 
be  enjoyed  by  thyself  nor  by  another." 

Phil.  I  know,  indeed,  that  so  it  usually  is  :  but,  my  son, 
he  is  the  truly  niggardly  man3  that  has  nought  with  which 
to  pay  his  dues. 

Lts.  By  the  care  of  the  Gods,  we  have,  father,  both 
enough  for  us  to  enjoy  ourselves,  and  with  which  to  do  kind 
offices  to  kind-hearted  men. 

1  By  just  as  many  letters) — Ver.  345.  Commentators  differ  as  to  the  meaning  of 
this  passage,  which  is  somewhat  obscure.  Philto  seems  to  s&y  that  shame  before 
doing  an  unwise  action  is  every  way  preferable  to  repentance  after  having  done  it ; 
preferable,  indeed,  by  each  individual  letter  it  is  composed  of,  or,  as  we  should 
say  in  common  parlance,  ft  every  inch  of  it." 

2  Niggardly  citizen) — Ver.  350.  "  Immunis"  means  one  that  does  not  bear  his 
share  in  the  taxes  and  tribute  of  the  state,  or,  in  other  words,  pay  his  scot  and  lot. 
Hence,  with  an  extended  signification,  it  means  one  that  will  not  out  of  his  abun- 
dance assist  the  distress  of  others,  and  who  is,  consequently,  a  niggardly  and 
covetous  person. 

3  Truly  niggardly  man) — Ver.  354.  Philto  here  alludes  to  the  primary  meaning 
of  the  word  "  immunis ;"  and  hints  that  it  may  be  more  properly  applied  to  Lesbo- 
nicus,  who  has  reduced  himself  to  poverty  by  his  extravagance,  than  to  himself; 
inasmuch  as  he  is  now  perforce  •  immunis,"  not  having  wherewithal  to  pay  tha 
public  dues  and  taxes. 

c2 


20  teinummtjs  ;  Act  II. 

Phil.  Troth,  I  am  not  able  to  refuse  you  anything  that 
you  ask  of  me.  "Whose  poverty  do  you  wish  to  relieve  ? 
Speak  out  boldly  to  your  father. 

Lys.  That  of  this  young  man  Lesbonicus,  the  son  of 
Charmides,  who  lives  there.  {He  points  to  the  home  of 
Charmides.) 

Phil.  "Why,  hasn't  he  devoured  both  what  he  had,  and 
what  he  had  not1  ? 

Lys.  Censure  him  not,  my  father  :  many  things  happen 
to  a  man  which  he  likes,  many,  too,  which  he  does  not  like. 

Phil.  Troth,  you  say  falsely,  son ;  and  you  are  doing  so 
now  not  according  to  your  usual  wont.  For  the  prudent 
man,  i'  faith,  really  frames  his  own  fortunes  for  himself:  many 
things,  therefore,  do  not  happen  which  he  does  not  like,  unless 
he  is  a  bungling  workman. 

Lys.  Much  labour  is  requisite  for  this  workmanship  in  him 
who  seeks  to  be  a  clever  workman  in  fashioning  his  life — 
but  he  is  still  very  young. 

Phil.  Not  by  years  but  by  disposition  is  wisdom  acquired. 
Age  is  the  relish  of  wisdom — wisdom  is  the  nutriment  of 
old  age.  However,  come,  say  what  you  wish  now  to  give 
him. 

Lys.  Nothing  at  all,  father.  Do  you  only  not  hinder  me 
from  accepting  it  if  he  should  give  anything  to  me. 

Phil.  And  will  you  be  relieving  his  poverty  by  that,  if  you 
shall  accept  anything  of  him  P 

Lys.  By  that  very  means,  my  father. 

Phil.  '.Faith,  I  wish  that  you  would  instruct  me  in  that 
method. 

Lys.  Certainly.  Do  you  know  of  what  family  he  is 
born  ? 

Phil.  I  know — of  an  extremely  honourable  one. 

Lys.  He  has  a  sister — a  fine  young  woman  now  grown  up: 
I  wish,  father,  to  take  her  without  a  portion  for  my  wife. 

Phil.  A  wife  without  a  portion  ? 

Lys.  Just  so — your  riches  saved  as  well.  By  these  means 
you  will  be  conferring  an  extreme  favour  on  him,  and  in  no 
way  could  you  help  him  to  greater  advantage. 

Phil.  Am  I  to  suffer  you  to  take  a  wife  without  a  portion  \ 

1  What  he  had  not) — Ver.  360,  That  is,  by  the  dishonest  expedient  of  running 
into  debt  for  it. 


Sc.  111.  *HE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONEY.  91 

Lts.  You  must  suffer  it,  father;  and  by  these'  means  you 
will  be  giving  an  estimable  character  to  our  family. 

Phil.  I  could  give  utterance  to  many  a  learned  saying, 
and  very  fluently  too :  this  old  age  of  mine  retains  stories 
of  old  and  ancient  times.  But,  since  I  see  that  you  are 
courting  friendship  and  esteem  for  our  family,  although  I 
have  been  opposed  to  you,  I  thus  give  my  decision— I  will 
permit  you ;  ask  for  the  girl,  and  marry  her. 

Lts.  May  the  G-ods  preserve  you  to  me.  But,  to  this 
favour  add  one  thing. 

Phil.  But  what  is  this  one  thing  ? 

Lys.  I  will  tell  you.  Do  you  go  to  him,  do  you  solicit 
him,  and  do  you  ask  for  her  yourself.. 

Phil.  Think  of  that  now. 

Lts.  Tou  will  transact  it  much  more  speedily :  all  will  be 
made  sure  of  that  you  do.  One  word  of  yours  in  this  matter 
will  be  of  more  consequence  than  a  hundred  of  mine. 

Phil.  See,  now,  how,  in  my  kindness,  I  have  undertaken 
this  matter.     My  assistance  shall  be  given. 

Lts.  You  realty  are  a  kind  father.  This  is  the  house ; 
here  he  dwells.  {He  points  to  the  house  of  Chaemides.) 
Lesbonicus  is  his  name.  Mind  and  attend  to  the  business ; 
I  will  await  you  at  home.  (Exit. 


Scene  III. 
Philto,  alone. 

Phil.  These  things  are  not  for  the  best,  nor  as  I  think 
they  ought  to  be ;  but  still,  they  are  better  than  that  which  is 
downright  bad.  But  this  one  circumstance  consoles  myself 
and  my  thoughts — namely,  that  he  who  counsels  in  respect 
to  a  son  nothing  else  but  that  which  pleases  himself  alone, 
only  plays  the  fool ;  he  becomes  wretched  in  mind,  and  yet  he 
is  no  nearer  bringing  it  about.  He  is  preparing  a  very  incle- 
ment winter  for  his  own  old  age  when  he  arouses  that  unsea- 
sonable storm.  {The  door  of  the  house  of  Chaemides  opens.) 
But  the  house  is  opened  to  which  I  was  going  ;  most  conve- 
niently, Lesbonicus  himself  is  coming  out  of  doors  with  his 
servant.     (Philto  retires  to  a  distance.) 


22  TBINTJMMlTg  ;  Act  II, 

Scene  IY. 
JEnter  Lesbonicus  and  Stasimus. 

Lesb.  'Tis  less  than  fifteen  days  since  yon  received  from 
Callicles  forty  minse  for  this  house ;  is  it  not  as  I  say,  Sta- 
simus ? 

Stas.  When  I  consider,  I  think  I  remember  that  it 
was  so. 

Lesb.  What  has  been  done  with  it  ? 

Stas.  It  has  been  eaten  and  drunk  up — spent  away  in 
unguents,  washed  away  in  baths1.  The  fishmonger  and  the 
baker  have  carried  it  off":  butchers,  too,  and  cooks,  green- 
grocers, perfumers,  and  poulterers ;  'twas  quickly  consumed. 
I'  faith !  that  money  was  made  away  with  not  less  speedily 
than  if  you  were  to  throw  a  poppy  among  the  ants. 

Lesb.  By  my  troth,  less  has  been  spent  on  those  items 
than  six  minse  ? 

Stas.  Besides,  what  have  you  given  to  your  mistresses  ? 

Lesb.  That  I  am  including  as  well  in  it. 

Stas.  Besides,  what  have  I  pilfered  of  it  ? 

Lesb.  Aye,  that  item  is  a  very  heavy  one. 

Stas.  That  cannot  so  appear  to  you,  if  you  make  all  due 
deductions2,  unless  you  think  that  your  money  is  everlasting. 
{Aside.)  Too  late  and  unwisely, — a  caution  that  should  have 
been  used  before, — after  he  has  devoured  his  substance,  he 
reckons  up  the  account  too  late. 

Lesb.  The  account,  however,  of  this  money  is  by  no  means 
clear. 

Stas.  I'  faith,  the  account  is  very  clear:  the  money's 
gone3.  Did  you  not  receive  forty  minse  from  Callicles,  and 
did  he  not  receive  from  you  the  house  in  possession  P 

1  Washed  away  in  baths)— Ver.  409.  This  will  probably  refer,  not  to  the  money 
paid  for  mere  bathing  at  the  public  baths,  which  was  a  "  quadrans,"  the  smallest 
Roman  coin,  but  to  the  expense  of  erecting  private  baths,  which  generally  formed 
a  portion  of  the  luxuries  of  a  Roman  house.  The  public  baths,  however,  may  have 
possibly  been  the  scene  of  much  profligacy,  and  have  afforded  to  the  reckless  and 
dissipated  ample  opportunities  for  squandering  their  money.  That  this  may  have 
been  the  fact,  is  rendered  the  more  likely  when  we  consider  the  equivocal  sig- 
nification of  the  word  "bagnio." 

2  Make  all  due  deductions)— Ver .414.  "Sisumas."  Literally,  "if  you  subtract.'' 
s  The  money's  gone) — Ver.  419.  Instead  of  a  Latin  word,  the  Greek  oi^era! 


So.  IV.  THE  THEEE  PIECES  OF  MONET.  23 

Lesb.  "Very  good. 

Philto  (aside).  Troth,  I  think  our  neighbour  has  sold 
his  house1.  When  his  father  shall  come  from  abroad,  his 
place  is  in  the  beggar's  gate2,  unless,  perchance,  he  should 
creep  into  his  son's  stomach3. 

Stas.  There  wsre  a  thousand  Olympic  drachmae4  paid  to 
the  banker5,  which  you  were  owing  upon  account. 

is  introduced,  which  means  "  is  gone,"  or  "  has  vanished."  Greek  terms  were 
current  at  Rome,  just  as  French  words  and  sentences  are  imported  into  our  lan- 
guage; indeed,  the  fashions  of  Rome  were  very  generally  set  by  the  Greeks. 

1  Has  sold  his  house) — Ver.  422.  He  feels  satisfied  now  that  Lysiteles  has  been 
correctly  informed,  and  that  Lesbonicus  really  is  in  difficulties. 

2  The  beggar's  gate) — Ver.  423.  He  probably  alludes  to  the  "  Porta  Trigemina" 
at  Rome,  which  was  upon  the  road  to  Ostk.  It  received  its  name  from  the  three 
twin-born  brothers,  the  Horatii,  who  passed  beneath  it  when  going  to  fight  the 
Curiatii.  This,  being  one  of  the  largest  and  most  frequented  roads  in  Rome,  was 
especially  the  resort  of  mendicants ;  among  whom,  in  the  opinion  of  Philto,  the 
father  of  Lesbonicus  will  have  to  take  his  place.  Some  Commentators  would  read 
"ponte"  instead  of  "  porta,"  and  they  think  that  the  allusion  is  to  the  Sublician 
bridge  at  Rome,  where  we  learn  from  Seneca  and  Juvenal  that  the  beggars  used  to 
sit  and  ask  alms. 

3  His  son's  stomach) — Ver.  424.  He  satirically  alludes  to  the  reckless  conduct 
of  Lesbonicus,  who  has  spent  everything  to  satisfy  his  love  for  eating,  drinking, 
and  debauchery. 

4  Olympic  drachma*)— Ver.  425.  As  already  mentioned,  the  "  drachma"  was 
about  ninepence  three-farthings  in  value.  As  one  hundred  made  a  "  mina,"  one- 
fourth  of  the  price  received  for  the  house  would  go  to  satisfy  the  banker's  claim. 

5  To  the  banker) — Ver.  426.  The  "  Trapezitte"  were  the  same  as  the  "  Argen- 
tarii"  at  Rome,  who  were  bankers  and  money-changers  on  their  own  account,  while 
the  "  Mensarii"  transacted  business  on  behalf  of  the  state.  Their  shops,  or  offices, 
were  situate  around  the  Forum,  and  were  public  property.  Their  principal  business 
was  the  exchange  of  Roman  for  foreign  coin,  and  the  keeping  of  sums  of  money  for 
other  persons,  which  were  deposited  with  or  without  interest,  according  to  agree- 
ment. They  acted  as  agents  for  the  sale  of  estates,  and  a  part  of  their  duty  was 
to  test  the  genuineness  of  coin,  and,  in  later  times,  to  circulate  it  from  the  mint 
among  the  people.  Lending  money  at  a  profit  was  also  part  of  their  business.  It 
is  supposed  that  among  the  Romans  there  was  a  higher  and  a  lower  class  of  "  ar- 
gentarii."  The  more  respectable  of  them  probably  held  the  position  of  the  banker 
of  modern  times ;  while  those  who  did  business  on  a  paltry  scale,  or  degraded 
themselves  by  usury,  were  not  held  in  any  esteem.  Their  shops,  being  public  pro- 
perty, were  built  under  the  inspection  of  the  Censors,  and  by  them  were  let  to  the 
"  argentarii."  "  Trapezitse,"  as  they  are  here  called,  was  properly  the  Greek 
name  for  these  persons,  who  were  so  styled  from  the  rpane^a,  or  "  table,"  at 
which  they  sat.  All  will  remember  the  "  tables  of  the  money-changers"  men- 
tioned in  the  New  Testament.  The  "  mensarii"  were  employed  to  lend  out  th 
public  money  to  borrowers  at  i  terest. 


24  TEINTJHMUS;  Act  il. 

Lesb.  Those,  I  suppose,  that  I  was  security  for1  P 

Stas.  Say,  rather2,  "  Those  that  I  paid  down" — for  that 
young  man  whom  you  used  to  say3  was  so  rich. 

Lesb.  It  was  so  done. 

Stas.  Yes,  just  to  be  squandered  away. 

Lesb.  That  was  done  as  well.  But  I  saw  him  in  a  pitiable 
state,  and  I  did  have  pity  on  him. 

Stas.  You  have  pity  on  others,  and  you  have  neither  pity 
nor  shame  for  yourself. 

Phil,  (aside).  'Tis  time  to  accost  him. 

Lesb.  Is  this  Philto  that  is  coming  here  ?  Troth,  'tis  he 
himself. 

Stas.  I'  faith,  I  could  wish  he  was  my  slave,  together 
with  his  savings4. 

Phil.  Philto  right  heartily  wishes  health  to  both  master 
and  servant,  Lesbonicus  and  Stasimus. 

Lesb.  May  the  Gods  give  you,  Philto,  whatever  you  may 
wish  for.     How  is  your  son  ? 

Phil.  He  wishes  well  to  you. 

Lesb.  In  good  sooth,  he  does  for  me  what  I  do  for  him  in 
return ! 

Stas.  (aside).  That  phrase,  "He  wishes  well,"  is  worth- 
less, unless  a  person  does  well  too.  I,  too,  "  wish"  to  be  a 
free  man ;  I  wish  in  vain.  He,  perhaps,  might  wish  to  become 
frugal ;  he  would  wish  to  no  purpose. 

Phil.  My  son  has  sent  me  to  you  to  propose  an  alliance 
and  bond  of  friendship  between  himself  and  your  family.  He 

1  7"  wag  security  for) — Ver.  427.  "  Spondeo,"  "  I  promise,"  was  a  term  used 
on  many  occasions  among  the  Komans,  derived  from  the  Greek  <x7rei>8d/xai,  "  to 
pour  out  a  libation ;"  the  usual  mode  of  ratifying  a  treaty.  Among  others,  it  was 
pronounced  by  a  person  when  he  became  security  that  another  should  repay 
money,  as  Lesbonicus,  to  his  misfortune,  had  done  in  the  present  instance. 

2  Say,  rather) — Ver.  427.  Stasimus  will  not  allow  his  master  to  mince  the 
matter  in  the  slightest  degree.  "  Don't  say  '  I  was  security  for  it,'  but  '  I 
paid  it  down.'  " 

3  You  used  to  say) — Ver.  428.  He  probably  alludes  to  some  former  occasion,  on 
which  his  master,  having  been  duped  into  the  belief,  was  telling  him  of  the  extra- 
ordinary wealth  of  his  new  acquaintance. 

*  With  his  savings) — Ver.  434.  "  Peculium  "  was  the  property  amassed  by  a 
slave  out  of  his  savings,  which  he  was  permitted  to  keep  as  his  own.  According 
to  the  strictness  of  the  law,  the  "  peculium"  was  the  property  of  the  master 
Sometimes  it  was  agreed  that  the  slave  should  purchase  his  freedom  with  hia 
u  peculium  "  whera  it  amounted  to  a  certain  sum. 


Sc.  IV.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OP  MONET.  25 

wished  to  take  your  sister  for  his  wife ;  and  I  have  the  same 
feelings,  and  I  desire  it.     • 

Lesb.  1  really  don't  understand  your  ways ;  amid  your 
prosperity  you  are  laughing  at  my  adversity. 

Phil.  I  am  a  man1 :  you  are  a  man.  So  may  Jupiter  love 
me,  I  have  neither  come  to  laugh  at  you,  nor  do  I  think 
you  deserving  of  it !  But  as  to  what  I  said,  my  son  begged 
me  to  ask  for  your  sister  as  his  wife. 

Lesb.  It  is  right  that  I  should  know  the  state  of  my  own 
circumstances.  My  position  is  not  on  an  equal  footing  with 
yours ;  seek  some  other  alliance  for  yourselves. 

Stas.  (to  Lesbonicus).  Are  you  really  sound  in  mind  or 
intellect  to  refuse  this  proposal  ?  For  I  perceive  that  he  has 
been  found  for  you  a  very  friend  in  need2. 

Lesb.  G-et  away  hence,  and  go  hang  yourself3. 

Stas.  Faith,  if  I  should  commence  to  go,  you  would  be 
forbidding  me4. 

Lesb.  Unless  you  want  me,  Philto,  for  anything  else,  I 
have  given  you  my  answer. 

Phil.  I  trust,  Lesbonicus,  that  you  will  one  day  be  more 
obliging  to  me  than  I  now  find  you  to  be.  For  both  to  act6 
unwisely  and  to  talk  unwisely,  Lesbonicus,  are  sometimes 
neither  of  them  profitable. 

1  lama  man) — Ver.  447.  This  is  somewhat  like  the  celebrated  line  in  Terence : 

"  Homo  sum,  humani  nihil  alienum  a  me  puto," 
"I  am  a  man,  nothing  that  is  human  do  I  think  unbecoming  to  me." 

2  Friend  in  need) — Ver.  456.  "  Ferentarius."  The  "  ferentarii "  were  the  light- 
armed  troops,  who,  being  unencumbered  with  heavy  armour,  were  ready  to  come 
immediately  and  opportunely  to  the  assistance  of  those  who  were  in  danger  of 
being  overpowered  by  the  army.  The  word  is  here  used  figuratively,  to  signify 
"  a  friend  in  need." 

3  And  go  hang  yourself) — Ver.  457.  The  word  '  dierecte"  is  supposed  to  com? 
from  an  obsolete  verb,  "  dierigo,"  "  to  extend  out  on  both  sides,"  and  to  allude  to  a 
punishment  inflicted  upon  slaves,  when  they  were  fastened  to  a  stake  in  the 
ground,  with  the  arms  and  legs  extended.  Applied  to  a  slave,  it  would  be  an 
opprobrious  expression,  equivalent  to  "  go  and  be  hanged." 

4  Be  forbidding  me) — Ver.  457.  He  means,  that  if  he  should  take  his  master  at 
his  word  and  go  away,  he  would  be  the  first  to  stop  him. 

s  Both  to  act) — Ver.  461-2.  The  exact  meaning  of  these  lines  is  some?. hat  ob- 
jure.    Thornton's  translation  is : 

Or  in  word 

Or  deed  to  play  the  trifler  would  ill  8iv.t 
One  of  my  years. 


26  TEINUMMUS  ;  Act  II 

Stas.  Troth,  he  says  what's  true. 

Lesb.  I  will  tear  out  your  eye  if  you  add  one  word. 

Stas.  Troth,  but  I  will  talk ;  for  if  I  may  not  be  allowed 
to  do  so  as  I  am,  then  I  will  submit  to  be  called  the  one-eyed 
man1. 

Phil.  Do  you  now  say  this,  that  your  position  and  means 
are  not  on  an  equal  footing  with  ours  ? 

Lesb.  I  do  say  so. 

Phil.  Well,  suppose,  now,  you  were  to  come  to  a  building 
to  a  public  banquet,  and  a  wealthy  man  by  chance  were  to 
come  there  as  your  neighbour2.  The  banquet  is  set  on  table, 
one  that  they  style  a  public  one3.  Suppose  that  dainties  were 
heaped  up  before  him  by  his  dependents,  and  suppose  any- 
thing pleased  you  that  was  so  heaped  up  before  him,  would 
you  eat,  or  would  you  keep  your  place  next  to  this  wealthy 
man,  going  without  your  dinner  ? 

Lesb.  I  should  eat,  unless  he  were  to  forbid  me  doing  so. 

Stas.  But  I,  by  my  faith,  even  if  he  were  to  forbid  me, 
would  eat  and  cram  with  both  cheeks  stuffed  out ;  and  what 
pleased  him,  that,  in  especial,  would  I  lay  hold  of  beforehand ; 
nor  would  I  yield  to  him  one  jot  of  my  very  existence.  At 
table  it  befits  no  one  to  be  bashful ;  for  there  the  decision4 
is  about  things  both  divine  and  human. 

1  The  one-eyed  man) — Ver.  465.  He  means  that  he  is  determined  to  speak  out  at 
all  risks,  even  if  his  master  should  be  as  good  as  his  word,  and  tear  his  eye  out. 

2  As  your  neighbour) — Ver.  469.  "  Par"  here  means  a  close  neighbour,  as  re- 
clining next  to  him  on  the  same  "  triclinium,"  or  "  couch,"  at  the  entertainment. 

3  Style  a  public  one) — Ver.  470.  It  is  not  certain  what  kind  of  public  banquets 
are  here  referred  to.  Public  entertainments  were  given  to  the  people  on  the  oc- 
casion of  any  public  rejoicing:  such,  for  instance,  as  a  triumph,  as  we  learn  from 
Suetonius  in  his  life  of  Julius  Caesar.  They  were  also  given  when  the  tenths  were 
paid  to  Hercules.  The  clients,  also,  of  the  Patricians  were  in  the  habit  of  giving 
entertainments  to  their  patrons  on  festival  days,  when  each  client  contributed  his 
share  in  kind ;  and  numerous  invitations  were  given,  abundance  and  hospitality 
being  the  order  of  the  day.  Sometimes  these  feasts  were  held  in  a  temple,  and 
perhaps  they  are  here  referred  to.  There  were  also  frequent  entertainments 
in  the  "  Curiae,"  or  "  Court-houses"  of  Rome,  at  which  the  "  curiales,"  or  men  of 
the  "  curia,"  or  "  ward,"  met  together. 

4  There  the  decision) — Ver.  479.  Scaliger  supposes  that  Stasimus  is  making  a 
parody  on  the  transaction  of  business  by  the  Senate,  who  were  said  "  to  give  their 
decisions  on  matters  sacred  and  human ;"  and  that  he  means  to  say  that  the  feast 
is  his  Senate-house,  and  the  food  are  the  things  sacred  and  human  which  h*  s 
btf  and  to  discuss,  without  respect  for  anybody. 


Sc.  TV.  THE  THBEE  PIECES  OF  MONET.  27 

Phil.  You  say  what  is  the  fact. 

JStas.  I  will  tell  you  without  any  subterfuge:  I  would 
make  place  for  him  on  the  highway,  on  the  footpath,  in  the 
canvass  for  public  honors;  but  as  to  what  concerns  the 
stomach — by  my  troth,  not  this  much  (shows  the  breadth  of 
his  finger-nail) ,  unless  he  should  first  have  thrashed  me  with 
his  fists.  "With  provisions  at  the  present  prices,  a  feast  is 
a  fortune  without  incumbrances1. 

Phil.  Always,  Lesbonicus,  do  you  take  care  and  think 
this,  that  that  is  the  best,  according  as  you  yourself  are  the 
most  deserving :  if  that  you  cannot  attain  to,  at  least  be  as 
near  as  possible  to  the  most  deserving.  And  now,  Lesboni- 
cus, I  wish  you  to  grant  and  accept  these  terms  which  I 
propose,  and  which  I  ask  of  you.  The  G-ods  are  rich ;  wealth 
and  station  befit  the  Grods :  but  we  poor  mortal  beings  are, 
as  it  were,  the  salt-cellar2  for  the  salt  of  life.  The  moment 
that  we  have  breathed  forth  this,  the  beggar  is  held  of 
equal  value  at  Acheron3  with  the  most  wealthy  man  when 
dead. 

Stas.  (aside).  It  will  be  a  wonder  if  you  don't  carry  your 
riches  there  with  you.  When  you  are  dead,  you  may,  perhaps, 
be  as  good  as  your  name  imports4. 

Phil.  Now,  that  you  may  understand  that  position  and 

1  Without  incumbrances) — Ver.  484.  Every  Roman  family  of  consequence  was 
bound  to  perform  particular  sacrifices,  which  were  not  only  ordained  by  the  pon- 
tifical laws,  but  the  obligation  was  also  rendered  hereditary  by  the  civil  law,  and 
ordered  to  be  observed  by  the  law  of  the  Twelve  Tables :  "  Sacra  privata  perpetua 
manento,"  "  Let  private  sacrifices  remain  perpetual."  This  law  is  quoted  and 
commented  upon  by  Cicero  in  his  Second  Book  on  the  Laws.  He  there  tells  us 
that  "  heirs  are  obliged  to  continue  their  sacrifices,  be  they  ever  so  expensive ;  and 
for  this  reason,  as  by  the  above  law  these  sacrifices  were  to  be  maintained,  no  one 
was  presumed  to  be  better  able  to  supply  the  place  of  the  deceased  person  than 
his  heir."  A  property  exempt  from  this  necessity,  might  be  truly  said  to  be  one 
without  incumbrances. 

2  The  salt-cellar) — Ver.  492.  By  this  expression,  Plautus  seems  to  mean  that  life 
is  to  the  body  as  salt  is  to  flesh  ;  it  preserves  it  from  corruption. 

3  At  Acheron) — Ver.  494.  Acheron  was  a  river  of  the  Brutii  in  Campania.  There 
was  another  river  of  this  name  in  Epirus.  The  word  usually  denotes  one  of  the 
rivers  of  Hell ;  here  it  means  the  Infernal  regions  themselves. 

4  As  your  name  imports) — Ver.  496.  The  meaning  of  Stasimus  is — "  Perhaps 
when  you  are  dead,  in  leaving  your  property  to  another,  you  may  really  prove 
yourself  the  amiable  man  your  name  would  bespeak  you  to  be ;"  Philto  being 
derived  from  the  Greek  ^iXeco,  "to  love." 


28  TRINUMMUS  ;  Act  II. 

means  have  no  place  here,  and  that  we  do  not  undervalue 
your  alliance ;  I  ask  for  your  sister  without  a  marriage- 
portion.  May  the  matter  turn  out  happily.  Do  I  under- 
stand her  to  be  promised  ?  Why  are  you  silent  ? 
Stas.  O  immortal  Gods,  what  a  proposal ! 
Phil.  Why  don't  you  say,  "May  the  Gods  prosper  it. 
I  agree1?" 

Stas.  (aside).  Alas!  when  there  was  no  advantage  in  the 
expression,  he  used  to  say,  "  I  agree ;"  now,  when  there  is  ad- 
vantage in  it,  he  is  not  able  to  say  so. 

Lesb.  Since  you  think  me,  Philto,  worthy  of  an  alliance 
with  "you,  I  return  you  many  thanks.  But  though  this 
fortune  of  mine  has  sadly  diminished  through  my  folly,  I  have, 
Philto,  a  piece  of  land  near  the  city  here ;  that  I  will  give  as 
a  portion  to  my  sister:  for,  after  all  my  follies,  that  alone, 
besides  my  existence,  is  left  me. 

Phil.  Really  I  care  nothing  at  all  about  a  portion. 

Lesb.  I  am  determined  to  give  her  one. 

Stas.  {whispers  to  Lesbonicus).  And  are  you  ready, 
master,  to  sever  that  nurse  from  us  which  is  supporting  us  ? 
Take  care  how  you  do  it.  What  are  we  ourselves  to  eat  in 
future  ? 

Lesb.  (to  Stasimtjs).  Once  more,  will  you  hold  your 
tongue  ?     Am  I  to  be  rendered  accountable  to  you  ? 

Stas.  (aside).  We  are  evidently  done  for,  unless  I  devise 
something  or  other.  Philto,  I  want  you.  (He  removes  to  a 
distance,  and  beckons  to  Philto.) 

Phil.  If  you  wish  aught,  Stasimus. 

Stas.  Step  a  little  this  way. 

Phil.  By  all  means. 

Stas.  I  tell  you  this  in  secrecy,  that  neither  he  nor  any 
one  else  may  learn  it  of  you. 

Phil.  Trust  me  boldly  with  anything  you  please. 

1  7"  agree) — Ver.  502.  "  Spondeo"  was  a  word  in  general  use  to  denote  that  the 
person  entered  into  a  promise  or  engagement.  Being  the  nearest  male  relation  of 
the  damsel,  Philto  wishes  Lesbonicus  to  close  the  matter  by  saying  "  spondeo,'- 
"I  agree  to  betroth  her,"  which  he  hesitates  to  do;  on  which,  Stasimus,  alluding 
to  his  having  been  the  security  for  the  thousand  drachmae,  tells  him  that  he  had 
been  ready  enough  to  say  "  spondeo"  when  it  was  not  to  his  advantage;  namely, 
at  the  time  when  he  said  "  spondeo,"  "  I  promise,"  and  became  the  security  to 
the  banker  for  his  friend.   See  Note  1  in  page  24. 


SC.  IV.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OE  MONET.  29 

Stas.  By  G-ods  and  men  I  warn  you,  not  to  allow  that  piece 
of  land  ever  to  become  yours  or  your  son's.  I'll  tell  you  my 
reasons  'for  this  matter. 

Phil.  Troth,  I  should  like  to  hear  them. 

Stas.  First  of  all  then,  when  at  any  time  the  ground  is 
being  ploughed,  in  every  fifth  furrow  the  oxen  die. 

Phil.  Preserve  me  from  it. 

Stas.  The  gate  of  Acheron  is  in  that  land  of  ours.  Then 
the  grapes,  before  they  are  ripe,  hang  in  a  putrid  state. 

Lesb.  (in  a  low  voice).  He  is  persuading  the  man  to  some- 
thing, I  think.  Although  he  is  a  rogue,  still  he  is  not  un- 
faithful to  me. 

Stas.  Hear  the  rest.  Besides  that,  when  elsewhere  the 
harvest  of  wheat  is  most  abundant,  there  it  comes  up  less  by 
one-fourth  than  what  you  have  sowed. 

Phil.  Ah !  bad  habits  ought  to  be  sown  on  that  spot,  if  in 
the  sowing  they  can  be  killed. 

Stas.  And  never  is  there  any  person  to  whom  that  piece 
of  land  belongs,  but  that  his  affairs  turn  out  most  unfor- 
tunate. Of  those  to  whom  it  has  belonged,  some  have  gone 
away  in  banishment ;  some  are  dead  outright ;  some,  again, 
have  hanged  themselves.  See  this  man,  now,  to  whom  it 
belongs,  how  he  has  been  brought  to  a  regular  backgammoned 
state1. 

Phil.  Preserve  me  from  this  piece  of  land. 
Stas.  "  Preserve  me  from  it,"  you  would  say  still  more,  if 
you  were  to  hear  everything  from  me.  Por  there  every  other 
tree  has  been  blasted  with  lightning;  the  hogs  die3  there 
most  shockingly  of  inflammation  in  the  throat ;  the  sheep 
are  scabby,  as  bare  of  all  wool,  see,  as  is  this  hand  of  mine. 
And  then,  besides,  there  is  not  one  of  the  Syrian  natives3, 

1  Backgammoned  state) — Ver.  837.  "  Ad  incitas  redactus,  "  brought  to  a  stand- 
Jtill,"  was  a  term  borrowed  from  the  game  of  "  Duodecim  Scripta,"  or  "  twelve 
points,"  and  was  applied  when  one  of  the  parties  got  all  his  men  on  the  twelfth 
point,  and,  being  able  to  move  no  further,  lost  the  game  in  consequence.  Probably 
the  game  partook  of  the  nature  of  both  backgammon  and  chess. 

2  The  hogs  die) — Ver.  540.  From  Pliny  the  Elder  we  learn  that  "  angina,1'  or 
swelling  of  the  throat,  was  a  common  distemper  among  hogs. 

3  The  Syrian  natives') — Ver.  542.  He  makes  mention  of  the  Syrians,  because, 
living  in  a  hot  climate,  they  would  be  most  likely  to  be  able  to  endure  extreme  heat 


30  TfllNUHMUS  ;  Act  II 

a  race  which  is  the  most  hardy  of  men,  who  could  exist  there 
for  six  months ;  so  surely  do  all  die  there  of  the  solstitial 
fever1. 

Phil.  I  believe,  Stasimus2,  that  it  is  so ;  but  the  Campa- 
nian3  race  much  outdoes  that  of  the  Syrians  in  hardiness. 
But,  really,  that  piece  of  land,  as  I  have  heard  you  describe 
it,  is  one  to  which  it  were  proper  for  all  wicked  men  to  be 
sent  for  the  public  good.  Just  as  they  tell  of  the  Islands  of 
the  Blest,  where  all  meet  together  who  have  passed  their  lives 
uprightly :  on  the  other  hand,  it  seems  proper  that  all  evil- 
doers should  be  packed  off  there,  since  it  is  a 'place  of  such  a 
character. 

Stas.  ?Tis  a  very  receptacle  of  calamity.  "What  need  is 
there  of  many  words  ?  Look  for  any  bad  thing  whatsoever, 
there  you  may  find  it. 

Phil.  But,  i'  faith,  you  may  find  it  there  and  elsewhere 
too. 

Stas.  Please,  take  care  not  to  say  that  I  told  you  of  this. 

Phil.  You  have  told  it  me  in  perfect  secrecy. 

Stas.  Por  he,  indeed  {pointing  at  Lesbonicus),  wishes  it 
to  be  got  rid  of  from  himself,  if  lie  can  find  any  one  to  im- 
pose upon4  about  it. 

Phil.  I'  faith,  this  land  shall  never  become  my  property. 

Stas.  Aye,  if  you  keep  in  your  senses.  (Aside.)  I'  faith, 
I  have  cleverly  frightened5  the  old  fellow  away  from  this 
land ;  for,  if  my  master  had  parted  with  it,  there  is  nothing 
for  us  to  live  upon. 

1  The  solstitial  fever) — Ver.  544.  He  seems  to  mean,  that  if  a  person  went  to 
live  there  at  the  beginning  of  the  year,  he  could  not  possibly  live  there  beyond 
six  months,  being  sure  to  die  of  fever  at  the  time  of  the  Solstice,  or  Midsummer. 

2  /  believe,  Stasimus) — Ver.  545.  Pbilto  only  says  so  for  peace  sake,  as  no  man 
in  his  sense*  was  likely  to  believe  a  word  of  it.  As  he  does  not  want  the  piece 
of  land  for  his  son,  he  wishes  to  make  no  words  about  it. 

3  But  the  Campanian) — Ver.  545.  Pie  just  makes  this  remark  casually,  probably 
to  show  Stasimus  that  he  knows  about  things  in  general  as  well  as  he  does.  Some 
think,  however,  that  he  intends  to  correct  Stasimus,  and  to  tell  him  that  even  the 
Campanians,  who  were  considered  an  effeminate  race,  could  boast  of  more  hardi- 
hood than  the  Syrians. 

4  To  impose  upon) — Ver.  558.  "  Os  quoi  sublinat" — literally,  "  can  besmear  his 
face."  This  expression  alludes  to  the  practical  joke  of  making  a  fool  of  a  person 
by  painting  his  face  while  he  is  asleep. 

5  /  have  cleverly  frightened) — Ver.  560.  As  before  remarked,  he  is  probably 
ranch  mis  ;aken  in  thinking  so. 


Sc.  IY.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONEY.  31 

Phil.  Lesbonicus,  I  now  return  to  you. 

Lesb.  Tell  me,  if  you  please,  what  has  he  been  saying  to 
you? 

Phil.  What  do  you  suppose  ?  He  is  a  man1 ;  he  wishes 
to  become  a  free  man,  but  he  has  not  the  money  to  give. 

Lesb.  And  I  wish  to  be  rich,  but  all  in  vain. 

Stas.  (aside).  You  might  have  been,  if  you  had  chosen ; 
now,  since  you  have  nothing,  you  cannot  be. 

Lesb.  "What  are  you  talking  about  to  yourself,  Stasimus  ? 

Stas.  About  that  which  you  were  saying  just  now :  if  you 
had  chosen  formerly,  you  might  have  been  rich;  now  you 
are  wishing  too  late. 

Phil.  No  terms  can  be  come  to  with  me  about  the  mar- 
riage-portion ;  whatever  pleases  you,  do  you  transact  it  your- 
self with  my  son.  Now,  I  ask  for  your  sister  for  my  son; 
and  may  the  matter  turn  out  well.  "What  now  ?  are  you  still 
considering  ? 

Lesb.  What — about  that  matter  ?  Since  you  will  have  it 
so — may  the  Gods  prosper  it — I  promise  her. 

Phil.  Never,  by  my  troth,  was  a  son  born  so  ardently 
longed  for  by  any  one,  as  was  that  expression  "  I  promise 
her,"  when  born  for  me. 

Stas.  The  G-ods  will  prosper  all  your  plans. 

Phil.  So  I  wish.  Come  this  way  with  me,  Lesbonicus, 
that  a  day  may  be  agreed  on  for  the  nuptials,  in  the  presence 
of  Lysiteles  :  this  agreement  we  will  ratify  on  that  same  day. 

{Exit  Philto. 

Lesb.  Now,  Stasimus,  go  you  there  {points  to  the  house 
which  he  has  sold  to  Callicles)  to  the  house  of  Callicles, 
to  my  sister ;  tell  her  how  this  matter  has  been  arranged. 

Stas.  I  will  go.     Lesb.  And  congratulate  my  sister. 

Stas.  Yery  well.     Lesb.  Tell  Callicles  to  meet  me 

Stas.  But  rather  do  you  go  now 

Lesb.  That  he  may  see  what  is  necessary  to  be  done  about 
the  portion. 

Stas.  Do  go  now.  Lesb.  For  I  have  determined  not  to 
give  her  without  a  portion. 

Stas.  But  rather  do  you  go  now.  Lesb.  And  I  will  never 
allow  it  to  be  a  detriment  to  her  by  reason  of 

Stas.  Do  be  off  now.     Lesb.  My  recklessness 

1  He  is  a  man) — Ver.  5G3.  His  meaning  teems  to  be,  "  he  is  a  man,  with  fee', 
wigs  like  ourselves,  and  naturally  wishes  for  his  freedom." 


32  trintjmmus  ;  Act  IIL 

Stas.  Do  go  now1.     Lesb.  It  seems  by  no  means  just, 
but  that,  since  I  have  done  wrong 

Stas.  Do  go  now.     Lesb.  It  should  be  chiefly  a  detriment 
to  myself. 

Stas.  Do  go  now.     Lesb.  0  my  father !  and  shall  I  ever 
see  you  again  ? 

Stas.  Do  go  now.     G-o — go  now. 

Lesb.  I  am  going.     Do  you  take  care  of  that  which  I 
have  asked  you.     I  shall  be  here  directly. 

{Exit  Lesbonictjs. 

Scene  V. 
Stasimtjs. 
Stas.  At  length  I  have  prevailed  on  him  to  go.  In  the 
name  of  the  immortal  Gods,  i'  faith,  'tis  a  matter  well  ma- 
naged by  wrongful  means  of  performance,  inasmuch  as  our 
piece  of  land  is  safe ;  although  even  now  'tis  still  a  very 
doubtful  matter  what  may  be  the  result  of  this  affair.  But, 
if  the  land  is  parted  with,  'tis  all  over2  with  my  neck  ;  I  must 
carry  a  buckler  in  foreign  lands,  a  helmet  too,  and  my  bag- 
gage. He  will  be  running  away  from  the  city  when  the 
nuptials  have  been  celebrated;  he  will  be  going  hence  to 
extreme  and  utter  ruin,  somewhere  or  other,  to  serve  as  a 
soldier,  either  to  Asia  or  to  Cilicia3.  I  will  go  there  {looking 
at  the  door  of  the  house  bought  by  Callicles),  where  he  has 
ordered  me  to  go,  although  I  detest  this  house  ever  since  he 
has  driven  us  out  of  our  abode. 

(Exit  into  the  house  of  Char  hides. 


ACT  THE  THIED. 

Scene  I. 
Enter  Callicles  and  Stasimus. 
Call.  To  what  effect  were  you  speaking  about  this,  Sta- 
simus ? 

1  Do  go  now") — Ver.  586.  Stasimus  is  continually  urging  him  to  follow  Philto, 
and  bring  the  matter  to  a  conclusion,  as  he  fears  that  so  good  an  opportunity  may 
be  lost  through  his  master's  habitual  carelessness,  especially  as  Philto  has  agreed 
Dot  to  receive  the  land  as  a  marriage-portion. 

2  ' Tis  all  over) — Ver.  595.  He  means  that  he  will  no  longer  have  any  support 
from  his  master,  and  that  he  will  have  to  turn  soldier,  and  so  earn  his  livelihood. 

%  Aria  or  to  Cilicia) — Ver.  599.  Alluding,  probably  to  the  wars  which  were  con. 


Sc.  I.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONET.  33 

Stas.  That  Lesbonicus,  the  son  of  my  master,  has  betrothed 
his  sister  ;  in  those  terms. 

Call.  To  what  person  has  he  betrothed  her  ? 

Stas.  To  Lysiteles,  the  son  of  Philto  ;  without  a  portion, 
too. 

Call.  "Without  a  portion,  will  he  marry  her  into  a  family 
so  rich1  ?     You  are  telling  me  a  thing  not  to  be  credited. 

Stas.  "Why,  faith,  you  would  be  for  never  believing.  If 
you  don't  believe  this,  at  all  events  I  shall  be  believing 

Call.  "What  ?  Stas.  That  I  don't  care  a  fig  for  your 
belief. 

Call.  How  long  since,  or  where,  was  this  matter  agreed 
to? 

Stas.  On  this  very  spnt — here,  before  his  door  {pointing 
to  Philto' s  house).  This  moment-like2,  as  the  man  of  Prae- 
neste  says. 

Call.  And  has  Lesbonicus,  amid  his  ruined  fortunes,  be- 
come so  much  more  frugal  than  in  his  prosperous  circum- 
stances ? 

Stas.  Why,  in  fact,  Philto  himself  came  of  his  own  accord 
to  make  the  offer  for  his  son. 

Call,  {aside)  By  my  troth,  it  really  will  be  a  disgrace,  if 
a  portion  is  not  given  to  the  maiden.  In  fine,  I  think,  i' 
faith,  that  that  matter  concerns  myself.  I  will  go  to  my 
corrector,  and  will  ask  advice  of  him.  (Exit. 

Stas.  I  pretty  nearly  guess,  and  I  have  a  strong  suspicion, 
why  he  makes  such  speed  on  this  :  namely,  that  he  may  turn 
Lesbonicus  out  of  his  bit  Of  land,  after  he  has  turned  him 
out  of  his  house.  O  Charmides,  my  master!  since  your  pro- 
perty here  is  being  torn  to  pieces  in  your  absence,  I  wish  I 

tinually  occurring  between  the  Greeks  and  the  Persian  monarchs,  or  else  to  the 
custom  of  hiring  themselves  out  as  mercenary  soldiers,  as  Xenophon  and  the  ten 
thousand  did  to  the  younger  Cyrus. 

1  Into  a  family  so  rich) — Ver.  605.  "  In  tantas  divitias,"  literally,  "  into  so 
great  wealth." 

2  This  moment-like) — Ver.  609.  "  Tammodo."  He  is  joking  upon  the  patois 
of  the  people  of  Praeneste,  who  said  "tammodo,"  instead  of  "modo,",  "this 
instant,"  or  "just  now."  Festus  also  alludes  to  this  expression,  as  used  by  the 
Praenestines.  In  tne  Truculentus,  act  iii.,  sc.  2, 1.  23,  he  again  takes  them  off  for 
cutting:  "  Ciconia  "  down  to  "  Conia."  Prameste  was  a  town  of  Lathm,  not  far 
from  Rome.     Its  present  name  is  Palestrina. 

D 


34  teinummus  ;  Act  11 1 . 

could  see  you  return  safe,  that  you  might  both  take  vengeance 
on  your  enemies,  and  give  the  reward  to  me  according  as  I 
have  behaved,  and  do  behave  towards  you.  'Tis  an  ex- 
tremely difficult  thing  for  a  friend  to  be  found  really  such  as 
the  name  imports,  to  whom,  when  you  have  entrusted  your 
interests,  you  may  sleep  without  any  care.  But  lo !  I  per- 
ceive our  son-in-law1  coming,  together  with  his  neighbour. 
Something — what,  I  know  not — is  wrong  between  them. 
They  are  walking,  each  with  a  hasty  step ;  the  one  is  catch- 
ing the  other  that  is  before  him  by  the  cloak.  They  have 
come  to  a  stop  in  no  very  courteous  fashion.  I'll  step  aside 
here  a  little  distance.  I  have  a  wish  to  hear  the  conversation 
of  these  two  that  are  to  be  connected  by  marriage.  (He 
retires  to  a  distance.} 


Scene  II. 
Enter  Lysiteles  and  Lesbonictjs. 

Lts.  Stay,  this  moment ;  don't  turn  away,  and  don't  hide 
yourself  from  me.   (He  catches  hold  of  his  cloak.} 

Lesb.  {shaking  him  off}.  Can't  you  allow  me  to  go 
whither  I  was  proceeding  ? 

Lts.  If,  Lesbonicus,  it  seems  to  be  to  your  interest,  either 
for  your  glory  or  for  your  honour,  I  will  let  you  go. 

Lesb.  You  are  doing  a  thing  that  it  is  very  easy  to  do. 

Lts.  "What  is  that  ?     Lesb.  An  injury  to  a  friend. 

Lrs.  It  is  no  way  of  mine,  and  I  have  not  learned  so  to 
do. 

Lesb.  Untaught  as  you  are,  how  cleverly  you  do  it.  What 
would  you  have  done,  if  any  one  had  taught  you  to  be  thus 
annoying  to  me  ?  You,  who,  when  you  pretend  to  be  acting 
kindly  to  me,  use  me  ill,  and  are  intending  evil. 

Lts.  "What! — I?     Lesb.  Yes — you. 

Lts.  How  do  I  use  you  ill"? 

Lesb.  Inasmuch  as  you  do  that  which  I  do  not  wish. 

Lts.  I  wish  to  consult  your  advantage. 

LrfsB.  Are  you  kinder  to  me  than  I  am  to  myself?     I 

1  Our  son-in-law) — Ver.  622.  He  means  Lysiteles,  the  contemplated  son-in- 
law  of  his  master  Charmides,  whom  he  has  just  been  apostrophising. 


S'C.  IL  THE  THREE  PIECES  OP  MONET.  35 

have  sense  enough ;  I  see  sufficiently  well  those  things  that 
are  for  my  own  advantage. 

Lts.  And  is  it  having  sense  enough  to  refuse  a  kindness 
from  a  well-wisher  ? 

Lesb.  I  reckon  it  to  be  no  kindness,  when  it  does  not 
please  him  on  whom  you  are  conferring  it.  I  know,  and  I 
understand  myself  what  I  am  doing,  and  my  mind  forsakes 
not  its  duty ;  nor  will  I  be  driven  by  your  speeches  from 
paying  due  regard  to  my  own  character. 

Lts.  What  do  you  say  ?  Tor  note  I  cannot  be  restrained 
from  saying  to  you  the  things  which  you  deserve.  Have 
your  forefathers,  I  pray,  so  handed  down  this  reputation  to 
you,  that  you,  by  your  excesses,  might  lose  what  before  was 
gained  by  their  merit,  and  that  you  might  become  a.  bar  to 
the  honour  of- your  own  posterity  ?  Your  father  and  your 
grandfather  made  an  easy  and  a  level  path  for  you  to  attain  to 
honour ;  whereas  you  have  made  it  to  become  a  difficult  one, 
by  your  extreme  recklessness  and  sloth,  and  your  besotted 
ways.  You  have  made  your  election,  to  prefer  your  passions 
to  virtue.  Now,  do  you  suppose  that  you  can  cover  over 
your  faults  by  these  means  ?  Alas  !  'tis  impossible.  "Wel- 
come virtue  to  your  mind,  if  you  please,  and  expel  slothful- 
ness  from  your  heart.  Give  your  attention  to  your  he- 
friends  in  the  Courts  of  justice1,  and  not  to  the  couch  of 
your  she-friend,  as  you  are  wont  to  do.  And  earnestly  do  I 
now  wish  this  piece  of  land  to  be  left  to  you  for  this  reason, 
that  you  may  have  wherewithal  to  reform  yourself;  so  that 
those  citizens,  whom  you  have  for  enemies,  may  not  be  able 
altogether  to  throw  your  poverty  in  your  teeth. 

Lesb.  All-  these  things  which  you  have  been  saying,  I 
know — could  even  set  my  seal2  to  them  :  how  I  have  spoiled 
my  patrimonial  estate  and  the  fair  fame  of  my  forefathers.  I 
knew  how  it  became  me  to  live  ;  to  my  misfortune  I  was  not 
able  to  act  accordingly.  Thus,  overpowered  by  the  force  of 
passion,  inclined  to  ease,  I  fell  into  the  snare ;  and  now  to 
you,  quite  as  you  deserve,  I  do  return  most  hearty  thanks. 

1  In  the  Courts  of  justice)— Y  ex.  651.  It  was  the  custom  of  the  joung  men  uf 
the  Patrician  class  among  the  Romans  to  plead  gratuitously  for  their  friends  and 
clients,  in  the  Forum  or  Court  of  justice. 

2  Set  my  seal) — Ver.  655.  Affixing  the  seal  to  an  instrument  was  then,  as  now 
the  most  solemn  way  of  ratifying  it. 

D  2 


3(5  .  TKINTJMMUS  :  Act  I* 

Lys.  Still,  I  cannot  suffer  my  labour  to  be  thus  lost,  anc 
yourself  to  despise  these  words  ;  at  the  same  time,  it  grieves 
me  that  you  have  so  little  shame.  And,  in  fine,  unless  you 
listen  to  me,  and  do  this  that  I  mention,  you  yourself  will 
easily  lie  concealed  behind  your  own  self,  so  that  honour 
cannot  find  you ;  when  you  will  wish  yourself  to  be  especially 
distinguished,  you  will  be  lying  in  obscurity.  I  know  right 
well,  for  my  part,  Lesbonicus,  your  highly  ingenuous  dispo- 
sition ;  I  know  that  of  your  own  accord,  you  have  not  done 
wrong,  but  that  it  is  Love  that  has  blinded  your  heart ;  and  I 
myself  comprehend  all  the  ways  of  Love.  As  the  charge  of 
the  balista1  is  hurled,  so  is  Love ;  nothing  is  there  so  swift,  or 
that  so  swiftly  flies ;  he,  too,  makes  the  manners  of  men 
both  foolish  and  froward2.  That  which  is  the  most  com- 
mended pleases  him  the  least8 ;  that  from  which  he  is  dissuaded 
pleases  him.  When  there  is  a  scarcity,  then  you  long  for'a 
thing ;  when  there  is  an  abundance  of  it,  then  you  don't  care 
for  it.  The  person  that  warns  him  off  from  a  thing,  the 
same  invites  him ;  he  that  persuades  him  to  it  interdicts  him. 
'Tis  a  misfortune  of  insanity  for  you  to  fly  to  Cupid  for 
refuge.  But  I  advise  you  again  and  again  to  think  of  this, 
how  you  should  seek  to  act.  If  you  attempt  to  do  ac- 
cording as  you  are  now  showing  signs4,  you  will  cause  the 

1  Charge  of  the  balista) — Ver.  668.  The  word  "balista"  here  signifies  the 
charge  of  the  military  engine  known  as  the  "  balista."  It  was  used  by  the  an- 
cients for  the  purpose  of  discharging  stones  against  the  higher  part  of  the  walls 
of  besieged  places,  while  the  "  catapult  a  "  was  directed  against  the  lower.  The 
charge  of  the  "  balista"  varied  from  two  pounds  to  three  hundred-weight. 

2  Foolish  and  froward) — Ver.  66*9.  "Moros."  This  word  is  derived  from  the 
Greek  fia>p6s,  "  foolish."  It  seems  to  be  used  in  juxtaposition  with  "  morosos," 
for  the  sake  of  the  alliteration. 

3  Pleases  him  the  least) — Ver.  670.  So  Shakspeare  alludes  to  the  contradictory 
nature  of  love  in  Romeo  and  Juliet : 

"  Love — heavy  lightness !  serious  vanity ! 
Misshapen  chaos  of  well-seeming  forms." 
*  Are  now  showing  signs)— Ver.  675.  The  meaning  of  this  passage  is  extremely 
obscure.  Perhaps,  however,  it  is  this,  "  If  you  persist  in  your  extravagance,  and 
are  resolved  to  part  with  this  land,  the  very  last  of  your  possessions,  you  wiL 
prove  the  conflagration  and  ruin  of  your  family.  Then  you  will  be  seeking  a 
remedy — water  with  which  to  quench  it.  When  you  have  got  this  remedy,  as 
you  cleverly  suppose,  in  going  abroad  to  fight  and  earn  glory,  you  will  ply  it  with 
such  zeal,  that  you  will  overdo  it,  and,  in  getting  killed  yourself,  will  thereby 
quench  the  last  spark  on  which  the  very  existence  of  your  house  depended."    On 


Sc.  II.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OE  MONEY,  87 

conflagration  of  your  family ;  and  then,  in  consequence,  you 
will  have  a  desire  for  water  with  which  to  quench  this  con- 
flagration of  your  family.  And  if  you  should  obtain  it,  just 
as  lovers  are  subtle  in  their  devices,  you  will  not  leave  even 
one  spark  with  which  your  family  may  brighten  up. 

Lesb.  'Tis  easy  to  be  found:  fire  is  granted,  even  though 
you  should  ask  it  of  a  foe.  But  you,  by  your  reproof,  are 
urging  me  from  my  faults  to  a  viier  course.  You  are  per- 
suading me  to  give  you  my  sister  without  a  portion.  But  it 
does  not  become  me,  who  have  misused  so  great  a  patrimony, 
to  be  still  in  affluent  circumstances,  and  to  be  possessing 
land,  but  her  to  be  in  want,  so  as  with  good  reason  to  detest 
me.  Never  will  he  be  respected  by  others  who  makes  him- 
self despised  by  his  own  relatives.  As  I  said,  I  will  do  ;  I  do 
not  wish  you  to  be  in  doubt  any  longer. 

Lys.  And  is  it  so  much  preferable  that  for  your  sister's 
sake  you  should  incur  poverty,  and  that  I  should  possess  that 
piece  of  land  rather  than  yourself,  who  ought  to  be  upholding 
your  own  walls  ? 

Less.  I  do  not  wish  you  so  much  to  have  regard  to  myself, 
in  order  that  you  may  relieve  my  poverty,  as  that  in  my 
neediness  I  may  not  become  disgraced :  that  people  may  not 
spread  about  this  report  of  me,  that  I  gave  my  own  sister 
without  a  portion  to  you,  rather  in  concubinage1  than  ill 
marriage.  Who  would  be  said  to  be  more  dishonorable  than 
I  ?  The  spreading  of  this  report  might  do  credit  to  you,  but 
it  would  defile  me,  if  you  were  to  marry  her  without  a  por- 
tion. For  you  it  would  be  a  gain  of  reputation,  for  me  it 
would  be  something  for  people  to  throw  in  my  teeth. 

Lys.  Why  so  ?  Do  you  suppose2  that  you  will  become 
Dictator  if  I  accept  the  iand  of  you  ? 


this  Lesbonicus  says,  though  not  carrying  on  the  metaphor  in  the  same  sense,  "  I 
will  find  means,  even  amid  the  enemy,  to  render  my  name  illustrious,  for  there 
the  fire  may  be  found  which  is  to  keep  my  family  from  becoming  extinguished." 

1  Rather  in  concubinage) — Ver.  690.  His  pride  is  hurt  at  the  idea  of  his  sister 
being  married  without  a  portion,  and  thereby  losing  one  of  the  distinctive  marks 
between  a  wife  and  a  mistress.  It  was  considered  a  disgraceful  thing  for  a  female 
to  be  given  in  marriage  without  a  portion,  however  small. 

2  Do  you  suppose) — Ver.  G95.  Lysiteles  says,  satirically,  and  rather  unkindly,  it 
would  seem,  "  What,  do  yau  suppose  that,  if  I  accept  this  piece  of  land  of  you, 
you  will  attain  the  Dictatorship  as  the  reward  of  ycur  high  spirit?"  The  Bio. 
tatorship  was  the  highest  honour  in  the  Eoman  Republic. 


38  TRLNTJMMUS  ;  Act  III. 

Lesb.  I  neither  wish,  nor  require,  nor  do  I  think  so ;  but 
still,  to  be  mindful  of  his  duty;,  is  true  honour  to  an  upright 
man. 

Lxs.  For  my  part,  I  know  you,  how  you  are  disposed  in 
mind;  I  see  it,  I  discover  it,  I  apprehend.  You  are  doing 
this,  that  when  you  have  formed  an  alliance  between  us,  and 
when  you  have  given  up  this  piece  of  land,  and  have  nothing 
here  with  which  to  support  life,  in  beggary  you  may  fly  from 
the  city,  in  exile  you  may  desert  your  country,  your  kin- 
dred, your  connexions,  your  friends, — the  nuptials  once  over. 
People  would  suppose  that  you  were  frightened  hence  by  my 
means,  and  through  my  cupidity.  Do  not  fancy  in  your  mind 
that  I  will  act  so  as  to  allow  that  to  happen. 

Stas.  (advancing).  "Well,  I  cannot  but  exclaim,  "  "Well 
done,  well  done,  Lysiteles,  encore1."  Easily  do  you  win  the 
victory ;  the  other  is  conquered :  your  performance  is  supe- 
rior. This  one  {pointing  to  Lysiteles)  acts  better  in  charac- 
ter, and  composes  better  lines2.  By  reason  of  your  folly  do 
you  still  dispute  it  ?    Stand  in  awe  of  the  fine. 

Lesb.  "What  means  this  interruption  of  yours,  or  your  in- 
trusion here  upon  our  conversation  ? 

Stas.  The  same  way  that  I  came  here  I'll  get  me  gone. 

Lesb.  Step  this  way  home  with  me,  Lysiteles ;  there  we 
will  talk  at  length  about  these  matters. 

Lys.  I  am  not  in  the  habit  of  doing  anything  in  secret. 
Just  as  my  feelings  are  I  will  speak  out.  If  your  sister,  as  I 
think  it  right,  is  thus  given  to  me  in  marriage  without  a  por- 
tion, and  if  you  are  not  about  to  go  away  hence,  that  which 
shall  be  mine,  the  same  shall  be  yours.  But  if  you  are  minded 
otherwise,  may  that  which  you  do  turn  out  for  you  for  the 
best.  I  will  never  be  your  friend  on  any  other  terms ;  such 
is  my  determination. 

(Exit  Lesbonictjs,  followed  hy  Lysiteles. 

1  Encwe) — Ver.  705.  IIaXtj>.  This  Greek  word  was  no  doubt  used  by  the 
Romans  just  as  we  employ  the  French  word  "  encore."  In  a  similar  manner  it  was 
probably  used  in  the  theatres,  the  usage  of  which  is  here  figuratively  referred  to. 

2  Composes  better  lines) — Ver.  707.  In  the  line  before,  he  alludes  to  the  contest 
of  the  Comic  poets  for  the  prize  of  Comedy,  to  be  decided  according  to  the  merits 
of  their  respective  piays.  As  the  poets  were  often  the  actors  of  their  plays,  he 
addresses  them  in  this  line  in  the  latter  capacity.  Then,  in  the  next  line,  he 
refers  to  the  custom  of  the  Romans  in  early  times  of  training  slaves  as  actors, 
where,  if  they  did  not  please  the  spectators,  they  were  taken  off  the  stage  and 
fined  or  beaten  for  their  carelessnea* 


Sc.  IV.  THE  THBEE  PIECES  OF  MONET.  39 

Scene  III. 

Stasimus. 
Stas.  Faith,  he's  off.  D'ye  hear — Lysiteles  ?  I  want  you. 
He's  off  as  well.  Stasimus,  you  remain  alone.  What  am  I 
now  to  do,  but  to  buckle  up  my  baggage  and  sling  my  buckler 
on  my  back1,  and  order  soles  to  be  fastened2  beneath  my 
shoes'?  There  is  no  staying  now.  I  see  that  no  long  time 
hence  I  shall  be  a  soldier's  drudge.  And  when  my  master 
has  thrown  himself  into  the  pay3  of  some  potentate,  I  guess 
that  among  the  greatest  warriors  he  will  prove  a  brave4 — 
hand  at  running  away,  and  that  there  he  will  capture  the 
spoil,  who — shall  come  to  attack  my  master.  I  myself,  the 
moment  that  I  shall  have  assumed  my  bow  and  quiver  and 
arrows,  and  the  helmet  on  my  head,  shall — go  to  sleep  very 
quietly  in  my  tent.  I'll  be  off  to  the  Forum;  I'll  ask 
that  talent5  back  of  the  person  to  whom  I  lent  it  six  days 
since,  that  I  may  have  some  provision  for  the  journey  to  carry 
with  me.  {Exit. 

Scene  IV. 
Enter  Megakonides  and  Calliopes. 
Meg.  According  as  you  relate  the  matter  to  me,  Callicles, 

1  On  my  back) — Ver.  719.  When  marching,  the  "  clypeus,"  or  "  shield,"  was 
slung  on  the  back  of  the  soldier.  The  "  sarcina,"  or  "  baggage,"  probably  re- 
sembled our  knapsack. 

2  Soles  to  be  fastened) — Ver.  720.  The  "  soccas"  was  a  slipper  or  low  shoe,  which 
did  not  fit  closely,  and  was  not  fastened  by  a  tie.  These  were  worn  both  by 
men  and  women,  and  especially  by  Comic  actors.  His  meaning  probably  is,  that 
he  will  be  obliged  to  have  high  heels  and  thick  soles  put  to  his  shoes,  so  as  to  turn 
them  into  "  caligse,"  the  heavy  kind  of  shoes  worn  by  the  Roman  soldiers. 

3  Into  the  pay) — Ver.  722.  "  In  saginam,"  means  "for  his  food;"  as  what  we 
technically  call  "  the  mess"  was  provided  for  the  soldier  by  those  who  hired  him 
The  term  "  sagina"  is  found  especially  applied  to  the  victuals  of  the  gladiators,  who 
were  trained  up  and  dieted  on  all  kinds  of  nourishing  food  for  the  purpose  of  adding 
to  their  strength,  and  thereby  heightening  interest  attendant  on  their  combats. 

4  Prove  a  brave) — Ver.  723.  In  this  line  and  the  next  he  is  witty  upon  the 
sorry  figure  which  he  fancies  Lesbonicus  will  make  in  the  field  of  battle. 

5  Ask  that  talent) — Ver.  727.  Many  a  trutli  is  said  in  jest,  and  perhaps  part  of 
this  talent  is  the  fruit  of  the  theft  which  he  seems  in  joke  only  to  admit  in  '*.  414 ; 
as  some  Commentators  have  remarked,  where  was  Stasimus,  a  slave,  to  get  so 
much  money  as  a  talent,  more  than  200Z.  ?  As,  however,  in  other  respects,  he 
ecems  to  have  been  a  faithful  servant,  let  us  in  charity  suppose  that  he  came 
Honestly  by  his  talent,  and  that  it  was  his  fairly  acquired  "  peculium." 


40  •  TitixmiMrs;  Act  III. 

it  really  can  by  no  means  be  but  that  a  portion  must  be 
given  to  the  girl. 

Call.  Why,  troth,  it  would  hardly  be  honestly  done 
pn  my  part,  if  I  were  to  allow  her  to  contract  a  marriage 
without  a  portion,  when  I  have  her  property  in  my  pos- 
session at  home.  *  *  *  *  .  • 

Meg.  *  *  *  *      A  portion  is  ready  at 

your  house  ;  unless  you  like  to  wait  until  her  brother  has  dis- 
posed of  her  in  marriage  without  a  portion.  After  that,  you 
might  go  to  Philto  yourself,  and  might  say  that  you  present 
her  with  a  portion,,  and  that  you  do  it  on  account  of  your 
intimacy  with  her  father.  But  I  dread  this,  lest  that  offer 
might  bring  you  into  crimination  and  disgrace  with  the  public. 
They  would  say  that  you  were  so  kind  to  the  girl  not  with- 
out some  good  reason  ;  that  the  dowry  which  you  presented 
her  was  given  you  by  her  father  ;  they  would  think  that  you 
were  portioning  her  out  of  that,  and  that  you  had  not  kept 
it  safe  for  her  just  as  it  was  given,  and  that  you  had  with- 
held some  part.  Now,  if  you  wish  to  await  the  return  of 
Charmides,  the  time  is  very  long ;  meanwhile,  the  inclination 
to  marry  her  may  leave  this  Lysiteles ;  this  proposal,  too,  is 
quite  a  first-rate  one  for  her. 

Call.  All  these  very  same  things  suggest  themselves  to 
my  mind. 

Meg.  Consider  if  you  think  this  more  feasible  and  more 
to  the  purpose :  go  to  the  young  mian  himself,  and  tell  him 
how  the  matter  really  stands. 

Call.  Should  I  now  discover  the  treasure  to  a  young  man, 
ill-regulated,  and  brimful  of  passion  and  of  wantonness  ?  No, 
faith,  most  assuredly,  by  no  means.  For  I  know,  beyond  a 
doubt,  that  he  would  devour  even  all  that  spot  where  it  is 
buried.  I  fear  to  dig  for  it,  lest  he  should  hear  the  noise ; 
iest,  too,  he  might  trace  out  the  matter  itself,  if  I  should  say 
I  will  give  her  a  portion. 

Meg.  By  what  method,  then,  can  the  portion  be  secretly 
taken  out  ? 

Call.  Until  an  opportunity  can  be  found  for  that  business, 
T  would,  in  the  meanwhile,  ask  for  a  loan  of  the  money  from 
some  friend  or  other. 

Meg.  Can  it  be  obtained  from  some  friend  or  other  ? 

Call.  It  can.      Meg.    Nonsense ;  you'll  certainly  meet 


8e.  IV.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MOXET.  41 

with  this  answer  at  once :  "  0,  upon  my  faith,  I  really  have 
not  anything  that  I  can  lend  you." 

Call.  Troth,  I  would  rather  they  would  tell  me  the  truth 
than  lend  me  the  money  with  a  bad  grace. 

Meo.  But  consider  this  plan,  if  it  pleases  you. 

Call.  What  is  the  plan  ?  Meg.  I  have  found  out  a  clever 
plan,  as  I  think. 

Call.  What  is  it  ?  Meg.  Let  some  person,  now,  be  hired, 
of  an  appearance  as  much  unknown  as  possible,  such  as  has 
not  been  often  seen.  Let  this  person  be  dressed  up  to 
the  life  after  a  .foreign  fashion,  just  as  though  he  were  a 
foreigner. 

Call.  What  is  he  to  understand  that  he  must  do  after 
that  ? 

Meg.  It  is  necessary  for  him  to  be  some  lying,  de- 
ceiving, impudent  fellow — a  lounger  from  the  Forum. 

Call.  And  what  then,  after  that  ? 

Meg.  Let  him  come  to  the  young  man  as  though  from 
Seleucia,  from  his  father ;  let  him  pronounce  his  salutation 
to  him  in  the  words  of  his  father,  say  that  he  is  prospering 
in  business,  and  is  alive  and  well,  and  that  he  will  be  shortly 
coming  back  again.  Let  him  bring  two  letters ;  let  us  seal 
these,  as  though  they  are  from  his  father.  Let  him  give 
the  one  to  him,  and  let  him  say  that  he  wishes  to  give  the 
other  to  yourself. 

Call.  Go  on,  and  tell  me  still  further. 

Meg.  Let  him  say  that  he  is  bringing  some  gold  as  a 
marriage-portion  from  her  father  for  the  girl,  and  that  his 
father  has  requested  him  to  deliver  it  to  you.  Do  you  un- 
derstand me  now  ? 

Call.  Pretty  nearly ;  and  I  listen  with  great  satisfaction. 

Meg.  Then,  in  consequence,  you  will  finally  give  the  gold 
to  the  young  man  when  the  girl  shall  be  given  in  marriage. 

Call.  Troth,  'tis  very  cleverly  contrived. 

Meg.  By  this  means,  when  you  have  dug  up  the  trea- 
sure, you  will  have  removed  all  cause  for  suspicion  from  the 
young  man.  He  will  think  that  the  gold  has  been  brought 
.  to  you  from  his  father  ;  whereas,  you  will  be  taking  it  from 
the  treasure. 

Call.  Very  cleverly  and  fairly  contrived ;  although  I  am 
ashamed,  at  this  time  of  life,  for  me  to  be  playing  a  double 


42  TEINUMMUS  ;  Act  III 

peart.  But  when  he  shall  bring  the  letters  sealed,  don't  you 
suppose  that  the  young  man  will  then  recollect  the  impres- 
sion of  his  father's  signet1  ? 

Meg.  Will  you  be  silent  now  ?  Reasons  innumerable 
may  be  found  for  that  circumstance.  That  which  he  used 
to  have  he  has  lost,  and  he  has  since  had  another  new  one 
made.  Then,  if  he  should  bring  them  not  sealed  at  all,  this 
might  be  said, — that  they  had  been  unsealed  for  him  by 
the  custom-house  officers2,  and  had  been  examined.  On 
matters  of  this  kind,  however,  'tis  mere  idleness  to  spend 
the  day  in  talk  ;  although  a  long  discussion  might  be  spun 
out.  Go  now,  at  once,  privately  to  the  treasure  ;  send  to  a 
distance  the  men-servants  and  the  maids ;  and — do  you 
hear  ? 

Call.  "What  is  it?  Meg.  Take  care  that  you  conceal 
this  matter  from  that  same  wife  of  yours  as  well;  for,  i' 
faith,  there  is  never  any  subject  which  they  can  be  silent 
upon.  "Why  are  you  standing  now  ?  "Why  don't  you  take 
yourself  off  hence,  and  bestir  yourself  ?  Open  the  treasure, 
take  thence  as  much  gold  as  is  requisite  for  this  purpose ;  at 
once  close  it  up  again,  but  secretly,  as  I  have  enjoined  you ; 
turn  all  out  of  the  house. 

Call.  I  will  do  so.     Meg.  But,  really,  we  are  continu- 

1  His  father's  signet) — Ver.  789.  The  custom  of  wearing  rings  among  the  Ro- 
mans was  said  to  have  been  derived  from  the  Sabines.  The  stones  set  in  them 
were  generally  engraved  with  some  design,  and  they  were  universally  used  by  bqth 
Greeks  and  Romans  for  the  purpose  of  a  seal.  So  common  was  the  practice  among 
the  Greeks,  that  Solon  made  a  very  wholesome  law  which  forbade  engravers  to 
keep  the  form  of  a  seal  which  they  had  sold.  In  some  rings  the  seal  was  cut  in 
t lie  metal  itself.  The  designs  engraved  on  rings  were  various;  sometimes  portraits 
of  ancestors  or  friends,  and  sometimes  subjects  connected  with  the  mythology  or 
the  worship  of  the  Gods.  The  onyx  was  the  stone  most  frequently  used  in  rings. 
The  genuineness  of  a  letter  was  tested,  not  by  the  signature,  but  by  the  seal  ap- 
pended to  it ;  hence  the  anxiety  of  Callicles  on  the  present  occasion. 

2  The  custom-house  officers) — Ver.  794.  The  "  portitores"  were  the  officers  who 
collected  the  "  portorium,"  or  "  import  duty,"  on  goods  brought  from  foreign 
countries.  These  "  portitores,"  to  whom  it  was  frequently  farmed,  greatly 
annoyed  the  merchants  by  their  unfair  conduct  and  arbitrary  proceedings.  At 
Rome,  all  commodities,  including  slaves,  which  were  imported  for  the  pur 
pose  of  selling  again,  were  subject  to  the  "  portorium."  The  present  instance 
is  an  illustration  of  the  license  of  their  proceedings,  for  we  can  hardly  suppose 
that  they  were  entitled  as  of  right  to  break  open  the  seals  of  letters  from  foreign 
countries. 


Sc.  IV.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OE  MONET.  43 

ing  too  long  a  discourse  ;  we  are  wasting  the  day,*  whereas 
there  is  need  now  of  all  expedition.  There  is  nothing  for 
you  to  fear  about  the  seal ;  trust  me  for  that.  This  is  a 
clever  excuse  to  give,  as  I  mentioned,  that  they  have  been 
looked  at  by  the  officers.  In  fine,  don't  you  see  the  time 
of  day  ?  What  do  you  think  of  him  being  of  such  a  nature 
and  disposition  ?  He  is  drunk  already ;  anything  you  like 
may  be  proved  for  him.  Besides,  what  is  the  greatest  point 
of  all,  this  person  will  say  that  he  brings,  and  not  that  he 
applies  for,  money. 

Call.  Now,  that's  enough. 

Meg.  I  am  now  going  to  hire  a  sharper1  from  the  Forum, 
and  then  I  will  seal  the  two  letters  ;  and  I'll  send  him 
thither  {pointing  to  the  house  o/'Charmides),  well  tutored 
in  his  part,  to  this  young  man. 

Call.  I  am  going  in-doors  then  to  my  duty  in  consequence. 
Do  you  see  about  this  matter. 

Meg.  I'll  take  care  it's  done  in  the  very  cleverest  style. 

{Exeunt. 


ACT     THE    FOUETH. 

Scene  I. 

Enter  Charmides. 

Charm.  To  Neptune,   potent   o'er  the   deep    and  most 

powerful,  the  brother  of  sethereal  Jove,  joyously  and  sin- 

1  A  sharper) — Ver.  815.  "  Sycophanta."  At  an  early  period  there  was  a  law 
at  Athens  against  the  exportation  of  figs.  In  spite,  however,  of  prohibitions  and 
penalties,  the  fig-growers  persisted  in  exporting  the  fruit.  To  inform  the  autho- 
rities against  the  practice  was  deemed  mean  and  vexatious,  so  the  statute  came 
in  time  to  be  looked  upon  as  obsolete.  Hence,  the  term  a-VKOCpavTelv,  "  to  in- 
form relative  to  the  exportation  of  figs,"  came  to  be  applied  to  all  mean  and  dis- 
honest accusations.'  In  time,  the  word  "  sycophant"  came  to  be  applied  to  a  man 
who  was  a  cunning  and  villanous  character,  and  who,  as  it  has  been  justly  ob- 
served, in  Dr.  Smith's  Dictionary,  was  "  a  happy  compound  of  the  common  bar- 
retor,  informer,  pettifogger,  busybody,  rogue,  liar,  and  slanderer."  In  fact,  he  was 
such  a  person  as  we  mean  by  the  epithet  "swindler"  or  "sharper."  Information 
being  encouraged  by  the  policy  of  Athens,  and  the  informer  gaining  half  the  reward, 
it  was  upon  this  honourable  calling  that  the  "  sycophanta? "  in  general  thrived 
They  were  ready,  however,  for  any  other  job,  however  dishonorable,  and  perjury 
would  not  be  declined  by  them  if  they  could  obtain  their  price.  They  would,  conse- 
quently, be  much  in  the  neighbourhood  of  the  Courts  of  justice ;  and  the  "  Forum," 
as  in  the  present  instance,  would  not  be  an  unlikely  place  to  meet  with  them. 


4i  TBI2JUMMUS  ;  Act  IV. 

cerely  do  I  proffer  praise,  and  return  my  grateful  thanks ; 
to  the  salt  waves,  too,  with  whom  lay  supreme  power  over 
myself, — one,  too,  that  existed  over  my  property  and  my  life, 
— inasmuch  as  from  their  realms  they  have  returned  me  safe 
and  sound  even  to  my  own  native  city.  And,  Neptune,  be- 
fore the  other  Deities,  do  I  both  give  and  return  to  you  ex- 
treme thanks.  For  all  people  talk  of  you  as  being  cruel 
and  severe,  of  voracious  habits,  filthy,  unsightly,  unendurable, 
and  outrageous  ;  on  the  other  hand,  I  have  experienced  your 
kindly  aid.  For,  in  good  sooth,  I  have  found  you  mild  and 
merciful  upon  the  deep,  even  to  that  degree  that  I  wished. 
This  commendation,  too,  I  had  already  heard  with  these  ears 
before  of  you  among  men, — that  you  were  accustomed  to 
spare  the  poor,  and  to  depress  and  overawe  the  rich.  Adieu ! 
I  commend  you ;  you  know  how  to  treat  men  properly, 
according  as  is  just.  This  is  worthy  of  the  Gods;  they 
should  ever  prove  benignant  to  the  needy ;  to  men  of  high 
station,  quite  otherwise.  Trusty  have  you  proved,  though  they 
are  in  the  habit  of  saying  that  you  cannot  be  trusted.  For, 
without  you,  it  would  have  happened,  I  am  very  sure,  that 
on  the  deep  your  attendants  would  have  shockingly  torn  in 
pieces  and  rent  asunder  wretched  me,  and,  together  with 
me,  my  property  as  well,  in  every  direction  throughout  the 
azure  surface  of  ocean.  But  just  now,  like  raging  dogs,  and 
no  otherwise,  did  the  winds  in  hurricane  beset  the  ship  ; 
storms  and  waves,  and  raging  squalls  were  about  to  roar,  to 
break  the  mast,  to  bear  down  the  yards,  to  split  the  sails  ;  had 
not  your  favouring  kindness  been  nigh  at  hand.  Have  done 
with  me,  if  you  please;  henceforth  have  I  now  determined 
to  give  myself  up  to  ease ;  enough  have  I  got.  With  what 
pains  have  I  struggled,  while  I  was  acquiring  riches  for  my 
son.  But  who  is  this1  that  is  coming  up  the  street  with 
his  new-fangled  garb  and  appearance  ?  I'  faith,  though  I 
wish  to  be  at  home,  I'll  wait  awhile ;  at  the  same  time,  I 
will  give  my  attention  to  see  what  business  this  fellow  is 
about.     {lie  retires  aside.} 

1  But  who  is  this) — Ver.  840.  It  seems  at  first  sight  rather  absurd  that  Char- 
mides,  who  has  just  returned  from  a  voyage,  should  wait  in  the  street  to  gossip 
with  a  stranger  win  is  coming  towards  him;  but  we  must  remember  that  he  sees 
that  the  fellow  is  making  straight  for  his  house,  and  his  curiosity  is  excited  by  that 
fact,  combined  with  the  very  extraordinary  dress  which  Megaronides  has  hired  fo» 
him  from  the  playhouse,  and  has  thereby  probably  much  overdone  the  character 
which  he  is  intended  to  vepresent. 


SO.  II.  THE  THEEE  PIECES  OF  MOOTED.  &$* 


Scene  II. 
Enter  the  Shaepee. 

Shaep.  To  this  day  I  give  the  name  of  "  The  Festival  of 
the  Three  Pieces  "  (Trinummus)  ;  for,  on  this  day,  have  I  let 
out  my  services  in  a  cheating  scheme  for  three  pieces  of 
money.  I  am  just  arrived  from  Seleucia,  Macedonia,  Asia, 
and  Arabia, — -places  which  I  never  visited  either  with  my  eye 
or  with  my  foot.  See  now,  what  business  poverty  brings 
upon  the  man  that  is  wretchedly  destitute ;  inasmuch  as  I 
am  now  obliged,  for  the  sake  of  three  pieces  of  money,  to  say 
that  I  received  these  letters  from  a  certain  person,  about  whom 
I  don't  know,  nor  have  I  ever  known,  who  the  man  is,  nor  do 
I  know  this  for  certain,  whether  he  was  ever  born  or  not. 

Chaem.  {behind).  Faith,  this  fellow's  surely  of  the  mush- 
room genus ;  he  covers  himself  entirely  with  his  top1.  The 
countenance  of  the  fellow  appears  to  be  Illyrian ;  he  comes, 
too,  in  that  garb. 

Shaep.  He  who  hired  me,  when  he  had  hired  me,  took  me 
to  his  house ;  he  told  me  what  he  wanted  to  be  done ;  he 
taught  and  showed  me  beforehand  how  I  was  to  do  every- 
thing. If,  then,  I  should  add  anything  more,  my  employer 
wiD  on  that  account  the  better  forward  his  plan  through  me. 
As  he  dressed  me  out,  so  am  I  now  equipped ;  his  money 
did  that.  He  himself  borrowed  my  costume,  at  his  own  risk, 
from  the  theatrical  wardrobe2 ;  if  I  shall  be  able,  now,  to 
impose  on  this  man  through  my  garb,  I  will  give  him  occasion 
clearly  to  find  that  I  am  a  very  trickster. 
.  Chae.  (behind).  The  more  I  look  at  him,  the  less  does  the 
appearance  of  the  fellow  please  me.     'Tis  a  wonder  if  that 

1  With  his  top) — Ver.  851.  The  Sharper,  as  personating  a  foreigner,  has  on  a 
"  petasus,"  or  hat  with  very  wide  brims,  extending  straight  out  on  each  side.  For 
this  reason  Charmides  wittily  compares  him  to  a  mushroom — all  head.  The 
"  causia"  was  a  similar  hat  worn  by  the  Macedonians,  with  the  brims  turned  up 
at  the  sides. 

2  The  theatrical  wardrobe) — Ver.  858.  "Chorego"  —  literally,  "from  the 
Choregus."  It  was  the  duty  of  this  person  at  Athens  to  provide  the  Choruses  for 
tragedies  and  comedies,  the  Lyric  Choruses  of  men  and  toys,  the  dancers  for  the 
Pyrrhic  dance,  the  Cyclic  Choruses,  and  the  Choruses  of  flute-players  for  the  re- 
ligious festivals  of  Athens.  He  also  had  to  provide  the  Chorus  with  the  requisite 
dresses,  wreaths,  and  masks — whence  the  application  to  him  on  the  present  occasion 


*0  TRINUMMUS  ;  Act  IV. 

fellow  there  is  not  either  a  night-robber *  or  a  cutpurse.  He 
is  viewing  the  locality ;  he  is  looking  around  him  and  sur- 
veying the  houses^  troth,  I  think  he  is  reconnoitring 'the  spot 
for  him  to  come  and  rob  bye  and  bye.  I  have  a  still  greater 
desire  to  watch  what  he  is  about :  I'll  give  attention  to  this 
matter. 

Sharp.  This  employer  of  mine  pointed  out  these  localities 
to  me ;  at  this  house  are  my  devices  to  be  put  in  practice. 
I'll  knock  at  the  door. 

Charm,  (behind).  Surely  this  fellow  is  making  in  a 
straight  line  for  my  house ;  i'  faith,  I  think  I  shall  have  to 
keep  watch  this  night  of  my  arrival. 

Sharp,  (knocks  at  the  door  of  the  house  of  Charmides). 
Open  this  door ! — open  it !  Hallo,  there  !  who  now  has  the 
care  of  this  door3  ? 

Charm.  .  (coming  up  to  him).  Toung  man,  what  do  you 
want  ?  "What  is  it  you  wish  ?  Why  are  you  knocking  at 
this  door  ? 

Sharp.  Eh !  old  gentleman ;  I  am  inquiring  here  for  a 
young  man  named  Lesbonicus,  where  in  this  quarter  he  lives 
— and  likewise  for  another  person,  with  such  white  hairs  on 
his  head  as  yours ;  he  that  gave  me  these  letters  said  his 
name  was  Callicles. 

Charm,  (aside).  In  fact,  this  fellow  is  looking  for  my  own 
son  Lesbonicus  and  my  friend  Callicles,  to  whom  I  entrusted 
both  my  children  and  my  property. 

Sharp.  Let  me  know,  respected  sir3,  if  you  are  acquainted 
with  it,  where  these  persons  live. 

r  A  night-robber) — Ver.  862.  "  Dormitator"  seems  to  mean  a  thief,  who  slept 
during  the  day  and  pursued  his  avocations  hy  night.  "  Sector  zonarius"  is  a 
"  cutter  of  girdles,"  similar  to  our  "  cutpurse."  It  was  the  custom  of  persons  of 
the  middle  and  lower  classes  to  wear  their  purses  suspended  from  the  "  zona,"  or 
"  girdle,"  round  the  waist ;  and  sometimes  they  used  the  folds  of  the  girdle  itself 
for  the  purpose  of  depositing,  their  money  therein. 

2  Care  of  this  door) — Ver.  870.  It  was  not  the  usage  to  enter  a  house  without 
giving  notice  to  those  within.  This  was  done  among  the  Spartans  by  shouting,  while 
the  Athenians,  and  other  nations,  either  used  the  knocker  of  the  door  or  rapped 
with  the  knuckles  or  a  stick.  In  the  houses  of  the  rich  a  porter  was  always  in 
attendance  to  open  the  door.  He  was  commonly  a  slave  or  eunuch,  and  was, 
among  the  Romans,  chained  to  his  post.  A  dog  was  also  in  general  chained  neai 
the  entrance,  and  the  warning,  "  Cave  canem,"  "  Beware  of  the  dog,"  was  some- 
times written  near  the  door. 

3Eespectedsir)—Vev  877.  "Pater,"  literally,  "father." 


Sc.  1L  THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONET.  47 

Chasm.  Why  are  you  inquiring  for  them  ?  Or  who  are 
von  ? — Or  whence  are  you  ? — Or  whence  do  you  come  ? 

Sharp.  I  gave  the  return  correctly  to  the  Censor1,  when 
I  was  questioned  by  him — 

Charm.  *  *  *  * 

Sharp.  Tou  ask  a"  number  of  things  in  the  same  breath ; 
I  know  not  which  in  especial  to  inform  you  upon.  If  you 
will  ask  each  thing  singly,  and  in  a  quiet  manner,  I'll  both 
let  you  know  my  name,  and  my  business,  and  my  travels. 

Charm.  I'll  do  as  you  desire.  Come  then ;  in  the  first 
place,  tell  me  your  name. 

Sharp.  You  begin  by  demanding  an  arduous  task. 

Charm.  How  so  ? 

Sharp.  Because,  respected  sir,  if  you  were  to  begin  before 
daylight,  i'  faith,  to  commence  at  the  first  part  of  my 
name2,  'twould  be  the  dead  of  the  night  before  you  could 
get  to  the  end  of  it. 

Charm.  According  to  your  story,  a  person  should  have  a 
long  journey's  provision  crammed  tightly  in  for  your  name. 

Sharp.  I  have  another  name  somewhat  less, — about  the 
size  of  a  wine-cask3. 

Charm.  What  is  this  name  of  yours,  young  man  ? 

Sharp.  "Hush,"  that's  my  name4;  that's  my  every-day 
one. 

Charm.  I'  faith,  'tis  a  scampish  name ;  just  as  though5 

1  To  the  Censor) — Ver.  879.  "  Juratori."  It  was  the  duty  of  the  Censor,  among 
the  Romans,  to  make  these  inquiries  of  every  person  when  taking  the  Census. 
As  the  Censors  were  bound  by  an  oath  to  the  faithful  discharge  of  their  duties, 
they  were,  in  common  with  all  persons  so  bound,  called  "juratores,"  "oaths- 
men."  The  Sharper  gives  Charmides  an  impudent  answer,  saying  that  he  has 
answered  the  Censor  on  these  points,  and  that  is  enough. 

2  Beginning  of  my  name) — Ver.  855.  He  probably  alludes  to  his  varied  calling, 
commensurate  with  everything  in  the  line  of  roguery.     See  the  Note  to  line  815. 

3  Size  of  a  wine  cask) — Ver.  888.  He  alludes,  probably,  to  the  "  amphora,"  or 
large  earthen  jar,  in  which  wine  was  kept.  This  was,  perhaps,  a  cant  saying,  just 
as  if  we  should  say,  "As  little  as  a  hogshead." 

4  "  Hush,"  that  is  my  name) — Ver.  889.  "  Pax."  This  word  was  used  to  enjoin 
silence,  like  our  word  "  Hush,"  or  "  Whist."  He  seems  to  allude  to  his  own  thieving 
avocation,  which  often  required  him  to  be  as  mute  as  a  mouse.  Some  of  the  editions 
have  "  tax,"  as  though  from  "  tango,"  "  to  prig,"  or  "  steal."  This,  Thornton 
renders  "  Touchit." 

lJust  as  though) — Ver.  891.  This  passage  is  ot  obscure  signification.  A  note  o\ 
exelamation  ought  to  be  inserted  after  "  J»ax,"  and  then  the  meaning  of  the  old 


43  TRTNTJMMTJS  ;  Act  IV, 

you  were  to  Bay,  "  Hush,"  if  I  were  confiding  anything  to 
you,  and  then  it  is  at  an  end  forthwith.  {Aside.)  This  fellow 
is  evidently  a  sharper.     "What  say  you,  young  man ? 

Sharp.  What  is  it  now  ?  Charm.  Speak  out ;  what  do 
these  persons  owe  you  whom  you  are  seeking  ? 

Sharp.  The  father  of  this  young  man,  Lesbonicus,  de- 
livered to  me  these  two  letters  ;  he  is  a  friend  of  mine. 

Charm,  {aside).  I  have  now  caught  him  in  the  fact;  he 
says  that  I  gave  him  the  letters.  I  will  have  some  fine 
sport  with  the  fellow. 

Sharp.  As  I  have  begun,  if  you  will  give  attention,  I  will 
say  on. 

Charm.  I'll  give  you  my  attention. 

Sharp.  He  bade  me  give  this  letter  to  his  son,  Lesbonicus, 
and  this  other  one,  as  well,  he  bade  me  give  to  his  friend 
Callicles. 

Charm,  {aside).  Troth,  but  since  he  is  acting  the  impostor, 
I,  on  the  other  hand,  have  an  inclination  to  act  the  cheat  as 
well.    Where  was  he  himself? 

Sharp.  He  was  carrying  on  his  business  prosperously. 

Charm.  But  where  ?     Sharp.  At  Seleucia. 

Charm.  *****  And  did  you  receive  these  from 
himself  ? 

Sharp.  With  his  own  hands  he  himself  delivered  them 
into  my  hands. 

Charm.  Of  what  appearance  is  this  person  P 

Sharp.  He  is  a  person  somewhere  about  half  a  foot 
taller  than  you. 

Charm,  {aside).  This  is  an  odd  matter,  if  in  fact  I  am 
taller  when  absent  than  when  present.  Do  you  know  this 
person  ? 

man  seems  to  be,  that,  as  in  conversation  a  stop  is  instantly  put  to  the  discourse 
on  saying  "  hush  !"  so,  if  anything  is  entrusted  to  him,  it  is  as  easily  done  for 
(periisse),  and  that  it  vanishes  the  instant  you  call  him  by  his  name.  This  is 
the  explanation  given  by  Lindemann.  Ritschel  reads  "  pax,"  but  most  of  the  old 
Commentators  have  "tax,"  which  seems  the  more  probable  reading.  Tin 
passage  is  thus  rendered  in  Thornton's  translation: 

Sharp.  'Tis  Touchit ; — that,  sir,  is  my  name. 
A  common  one. 

Charm.  A  very  knavish  name : 
As  though  you  meant  to  say  if  anything 
Was  trusted  to  you,  touch  it,  and  'tis  gone • 


Sc.  II.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OE  MOA^if.  49 

Sharp.  Tou  are  asking  me  a  ridiculous  question ;  together 
with  him  I  was  in  the  habit  of  taking  my  meals. 

Charm.  "What  is  his  name  ? 

Sharp.  One,  i'  faith,  that  belongs  to  an  honorable  man. 

Charm.  I  would  like  to  hear  it. 

Sharp.  Troth,  his  name  {hesitating) — his — his —  {Aside.) 
Woe  to  unfortunate  me. 

Charm.  What's  the  matter  ?  Sharp.  Unguardedly,  I  this 
moment  swallowed  the  name. 

Charm.  I  like  not  the  man  that  has  his  friends  shut  up 
within  his  teeth. 

Sharp.  And  yet  this  moment  'twas  dwelling  on  the  very 
edge  of  my  lips. 

Charm,  {aside).  I've  come  to-day  in  good  time  before  this 
fellow. 

Sharp,  {aside).  To  my  sorrow  I'm  caught  in  the  fact. 

Charm.  Have  you  now  recollected  the  name  ? 

Sharp.  'Fore  G-ods  and  men,  i'  faith,  I'm  ashamed  of  myself 

Charm.  See,  now,  how  well  you  know  this  man. 

Sharp.  As  well  as  my  own  self.  This  is  in  the  habit  of  hap- 
pening :  the  thing  you  are  holding  in  your  hand,  and  seeing 
with  your  eyes,  that  same  you  are  looking  for  as  lost.  I'll 
recollect  it  letter  by  letter.     C  is  the  beginning  of  the  name. 

Charm.  Is  it  Callias  ?     Sharp.  No  :  it  isn't  that. 

Charm.  Callippus  ?     Sharp.  It  isn't  that. 

Charm.  Callidemides  ?     Sharp.  It  isn't  that. 

Charm.  Callinicus  ?     Sharp.  No  :  it  isn't  that. 

Charm.  Or  is  it  Callimachus  ? 

Sharp.  'Tis  in  vain  you  suggest ;  and,  i'  faith,  I  really  don't 
care  one  fillip  about  it,  since  I  recollect  enough  myself  for 
my  own  purpose. 

Charm.  But  there  are  many  people  here  of  the  name  of 
Lesbonicus  ;  unless  you  tell  me  the  name  of  his  father,  I  cannot 
show  you  these  persons  whom  you  are  looking  for.  What 
is  it  like  ?     Perhaps  we  can  find  it  out  by  guessing. 

Sharp.  It  is  something  like  this :  Char 

Charm.  Chares  ?     Or  Charicles  ?     Or  is  it  Charmides  ? 

Sharp.  Ah  !  that's  he ;  may  the  Deities  confound  him. 

Charm.  I  have  said  to  you  once  before  already  *  *  *  * 
that  it  is  proper  for  you  rather  to  speak  well  of  a  man  that 
is  your  friend,  than  to  curse  him. 


50  TEINUMMTJS  ;  Act  IV. 

Shaep.  Isn't  it  the  fact1  that  this  most  worthless  fellow 
has  lain  perdu  between  my  lips  and  my  teeth  ? 

Chaem.  Don't  you  be  cursing  an  absent  friend. 

Shaep.  Why,  then,  did  this  most  rascally  fellow  hide 
himself  away  from  me  ? 

Chaem.  If  you  had  only  called  him,  he  would  have  an- 
swered to  his  name.     But  where  is  he  himself  now  ? 

Shaep.  Troth,  I  left  him  at  Ehadama2,  in  the  isle  of 
Apeland. 

Chaem.  *=*###  (aside).  What  person  is  there 
a  greater  simpleton  than  I,  who  myself  am  making  inquiries 
where  I  am  ?  But  it  is  by  no  means  unimportant  to  this 
present  purpose.     What  do  you  say  as ? 

Shaep.  What  now  ? 

Chaem.  I  ask  you  this.     What  places  have  you  visited  ? 

Shaep.  Places  exceedingly  wonderful  in  astonishing 
ways. 

Chaem.  I  should  like  to  hear  about  them,  unless  it  is  in- 
convenient. 

Shaep.  Really  I  quite  long  to  tell  you.  First  of  all  we 
were  conveyed  to  Pontus,  to  the  land  of  Arabia3. 

1  Isn't  it  the  fact) — Ver.  925.  He  alludes  to  his  having  forgotten  the  confounded 
name,  which  was  on  the  very  tip  of  his  tongue. 

2  At  Rhadama) — Ver.  928.  Rhadama  is  a  fictitious  name — pure  gibberish. 
Cercopia"  is  a  preferable  reading  to  "  Cecropia,"  which  was  an  epithet  of  Athens, 

itself  supposed  to  be  the  scene  of  the  Comedy.  The  other  word  would  imply  some 
unknown  region,  called  "  Apeland,"  as  the  Sharper's  only  aim  is  to  impose  upon 
the  credulity  of  Charmides,  and  to  hinder  him  from  asking  unseasonable  questions. 
He  coins  the  word  upon  the  spur  of  the  moment,  though  there  really  were  the 
"  Ape  Islands,"  or  the  isles  of  Pithecusse,  off  the  coast  of  Campania.  They  are 
mentioned  by  Ovid,  in  the  14th  book  of  the  Metamorphoses,  1.  291 :  "  For  the  father 
of  the  Gods,  once  abhorring  the  frauds  and  perjuries  of  the  Cercropians,  and  the 
crimes  of  the  fraudulent  race,  changed  these  men  into  ugly  animals ;  that  thesa 
same  beings  might  be  able  to  appear  unlike  men  and  yet  like  them.  He  both 
contracted  their  limbs  and  flattened  their  noses,  bent  back  from  their  foreheads ; 
and  he  furrowed  their  faces  with  the  wrinkles  of  old  age ;  and  he  sent  them  into 
this  spot  with  the  whole  of  their  bodies  covered  with  long  yellow  hair.  Moreover, 
he  first  took  away  from  them  the  use  of  language  and  of  their  tongues,  made  for 
dreadful  perjury ;  he  only  allowed  them  to  be  able  to  complain  with  a  harsh  jab- 
bering." 

3  Land  of  Arabia) — Ver.  933.  He  gets  out  of  depth  directly  he  leaves  imaginary 
places  and  touches  on  real  countries.  He  makes  Arabia  to  be  in  Poatus,  while 
they  were  really  *bou~  two  thousand  miles  asunder 


Sc.  II.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OP  MONET.  51 

Charm.  How  now ;  is  Arabia  then  in  Pontus  ? 

Sharp.  It  is.  Not  that  Arabia  where  frankincense  is  pro- 
duced, but  where  the  wormwood  grows1,  and  the  wild  mar- 
joram which  the  poultry  love. 

Charm,  (aside).  An  extremely  ingenious  knave  this.  But 
the  greater  simpleton  I,  to  be  asking  of  this  fellow  from  what 
place  I  have  come  back,  a  thing  which  I  know,  and  he  does 
not  know ;  except  that  I  have  a  mind  to  try  how  he  will  get 
out  of  it  at  last.  But  what  say  you  further  ?  Whither  did 
you  go  next  from  thence  ? 

Sharp.  If  you  give  me  your  attention,  I  will  tell  you.  To 
the  source  of  the  river  which  arises  out  of  the  heavens,  from 
beneath  the  throne  of  Jupiter. 

Charm.  Beneath  the  throne  of  Jupiter  ? 

Sharp.  Yes :  I  say  so. 

Charm.  Out  of  the  heavens  ? 

Sharp.  Aye,  out  of  the  very  middle. 

Charm.  How  now ;  and  did  you  ascend  even  to  the  hea- 
vens ? 

Sharp.  Tes  :  we  were  carried  in  a  little  skiff2  right  on,  up 
the  river,  against  the  tide. 

Charm.  And  did  you  see  Jupiter  as  well  ? 

Sharp.  The  other  G-ods  said  that  he  had  gone  to  his 
country-house,  to  dole  out  the  victuals  for  his  slaves.  Then, 
after  that 

Charm.  Then  after  that — I  don't  want  you  to  relate  any- 
thing more. 

Sharp.  Troth,  I'm  silent,  if  it's  troublesome. 

Charm.  "Why,  no  decent  person3  ought  to  tell  it,  who  has 
gone  from  the  earth  to  heaven. 

Sharp.  I'll  leave  you,  as  I  see  you  wish  it.  But  point  me 
out  these  persons  whom  I  am  looking  for,  and  to  whom  I 
must  deliver  these  letters. 

1  Wormwood  grows) — Ver.  935.  If  he  really  refers  here  to  Pontus,  he  acci- 
dentally hits  upon  the  truth.  Ovid,  when  in  banishment  there,  says,  m  the 
Tristia,  El.  13,  1.  21,  "  Let  the  white  wormwood  first  be  wanting  in  the  freezing 
Pontus."  The  Sharper  tries  to  correct  himself  by  saying  he  means  another 
Arabia,  and  not  the  one  generally  known,  where  the  frankincense  grows. 

2  Ina  Utile  skiff  J — Ver.  942.  "  Horiola,"  or  "  horia,"  was  a  smail  skiff  or  smack 
used  by  fishernen. 

3  No  decent  person) — Ver  947.  He  is  supposed  covertly  to  allude  to  the  dis- 
graceful story  of  Ganymede  being  carried  off  by  the  eagle  to  minister  to  the  lust 
of  Jupiter. 

E  2 


52  tkinummtjs;  Act  IV. 

Charm.  "What  say  you  ?  If  now  perchance  you  were  to 
see  Charmides  himself,  him,  I  mean,  who  you  say  gave  you 
these  letters,  would  you  know  the  man  ? 

Sharp.  By  my  troth  now,  do  you  take  me  to  be  a  brute 
beast,  who  really  am  not  able  to  recognise  the  person  with 
whom  I  have  been  spending  my  life  ?  And  would  he  have 
been  such  a  fool  as  to  entrust  to  me  a  thousand  Philippean 
pieces,  which  gold  he  bade  me  carry  to  his  son,  and  to  his 
friend  Callicles,  to  whom  he  said  that  he  had  entrusted  hia 
affairs  ?  Would  he  have  entrusted  them  to  me  if  he  had 
not  known  me,  and  I  him,  very  intimately  ? 

Charm,  {aside).  I  really  have  a  longing  now  to  swindle 
this  swindler,  if  I  can  cozen  him  out  of  these  thousand 
Philippean  pieces  which  lie  has  said  that  I  have  given  to  him. 
A  person,  that  I  know  not  who  he  is,  and  have  never  beheld 
him  with  my  eyes  before  this  day,  should  I  be  entrusting  gold 
to  him  ?  A  man,  to  whom,  if  his  life  were  at  stake,  I  would 
not  entrust  a  dump  of  lead.  This  fellow  must  be  adroitly 
dealt  with  by  me.  Hallo !  Mister  Hush,  I  want  three  words 
with  you. 

Sharp.  Even  three  hundred,  if  you  like. 

Charm.  Have  you  that  gold  which  you  received  from 
Charmides  ? 

Sharp.  Yes,  and  Philippeans,  too,  counted  out  on  the 
table  with  his  own  hand,  a  thousand  pieces. 

Charm.  You  received  it,  you  mean, '  from  Charmides 
himself? 

Sharp.  'Twere  a  wonder  if  I  had  received  it  of  his  father, 
or  of  his  grandfather,  who  are  dead. 

Charm.  Then,  young  man,  hand  me  over  this  gold. 

Sharp,  {staring  at  him).  What  gold  am  I  to  give  you  ? 

Charm.  That  which  you  have  owned  you  received  from  me. 

Sharp.  Received  from  you  ? 

Charm.   Yes,  I  say  so. 

Sharp.  Who  are  you  ?  Charm.  I  am  Charmides,  who 
gave  you  the  thousand  pieces  of  money. 

Sharp.  I'  faith,  you  are  not  he ;  and  this  day,  you  never 
shall  be  he,  for  this  gold,  at  any  rate.  Away  with  you,  if  you 
please,  you  impostor  !  {Aside.)  You  are  trying  to  cheat  the 
cheater. 

Charm.  I  am  Charmides.     Sharp.  I'  faith,  you  are  so  to 


Sc.  II.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONET.  53 

no  purpose,  for  I  carry1  no  gold.  Eight  cleverly  were  you 
down  upon  me,  at  the  very  nick  of  time.  After  I  said  that 
I  was  bringing  the  gold,  that  instant  you  became  Charmides. 
Before  I  made  mention  of  the  gold,  you  were  not  he.  It 
won't  do.  Just,  therefore,  in  such  manner  as  you  Char 
midised  yourself,  do  you  again  un-Charmidise  yourself. 

Charm.  Who  am  I,  then,  if  in  fact  I  am  not  he  who  I 
really  am  ? 

Sharp.  What  matters  that  to  me  ?  So  long  as  you  are 
not  he  whom  I  do  not  choose  you  to  be,  you  may  be  who  you 
like,  for  what  I  care.  Just  now,  you  were  not  he  who  you 
were,  now  you  are  become  he  who  then  you  were  not. 

Charm.  Come,  despatch,  if  you  are  going  to  do  it. 

Sharp.  What  am  I  to  do  ? 

Charm.  Grive  me  back  the  gold. 

Sharp.  You  are  dreaming,  old  gentleman. 

Charm.  Did  you  own  that  Charmides  delivered  the  gold 
to  you  ? 

Sharp.  Yes — in  writing3.  Charm.  Are  you  making  haste 
or  not,  you  night-robber,  to  be  off  with  ali  speed  this  very 
instant  from  this  neighbourhood,  before  I  order  you  to  be 
soundly  cudgelled  on  the  spot  ? 

Sharp.  For  what  reason  ?  Charm.  Because  I  am  that 
self-same  Charmides  about  whom  you  have  been  thus  lying, 
and  who  you  said  gave  the  letters  to  you. 

Sharp.  How  now ;  prithee,  are  you  really  he  ? 

Charm.  I  really  am  he.  Sharp.  Say  you  so,  pray  ?  Are 
you  really  he  himself? 

Charm.  I  do  say  so.     Sharp.  Are  you  his  own  self  ? 

Charm.  His  own  self,  I  say.     I  am  Charmides. 

Sharp.  And  are  you  then  his  own  self  ? 

Charm.  His  own  very  self.  Begone  hence  out  of  my  sight. 

1  For  I  carry) — Ver.  973.  He  takes  the  other  to  be  as  great  a  rogue  as  himself 
and  means,  that  his  being  Charmides  only  depended  on  whether  he  himself  ad- 
mitted that  he  was  in  possession  of  the  gold  of  Charmides. 

2  Yes,  in  writing) — Ver.  982.  This,  of  course,  was  the  fact,  as  Megaronides  and 
Callicles  would  know  better  than  entrust  the  fellow  with  any  money.  It  pro- 
oably  means  that  he  was  entrusted  with  a  letter  to  Callicles,  enclosing  a  coun- 
terfeit bill  at  sight,  or  order  on  the  Athenian  bankers  for  payment  of  a  thousand 
Philippeans  to  Callicles.  This,  Callicles  was  to  show  to  Lesbonicus,  to  pnt  him 
off  the  scent  as  to  the  treasure  whence  the  money  really  was  taken.  The  Sharper 
has  told  Chamrdes  that  he  has  the  money  with  him,  merely  by  way  of  bcasting  d 
his  trustworthy  character. 


54  TRINTJMMUS  ; 

Sharp.  Since  you  really  have  made  your  appearance  here 
thus  late,  you  shall  be  beaten  both  at  my  own  award1  and 
that  of  the  new  iEdiles. 

Charm.  And  are  you  abusing  me  as  well  ? 

Sharp.  Yes;  seeing  that  you  have  arrived  in  safety2, 
may  the  G-ods  confound  me,  if  I  care  a  straw  for  you,  had  you 
perished  first.  I  have  received  the  money  for  this  job  ;  you, 
I  devote  to  bad  luck.  But  who  you  are,  or  who  you  are  not, 
I  care  not  one  jot.  I'll  go  and  carry  word3  to  him  who 
gave  me  the  three  pieces,  that  he  may  know  that  he  has 
thrown  them  away.  I'm  off.  Live  with  a  curse,  and  fare 
you  ill;  may  all  the  G-ods  confound  you,  Charmides,  for 
coming  from  abroad4.  {Exit. 


Scene  III. 

Charmides. 

Char.  Since  this  fellow  has  gone,  at  last  a  time  and 
opportunity  seem  to  have  arrived  for  speaking  out  with- 
out restraint.  Already  does  this  sting  pierce  my  breast — 
what  business  he  could  have  before  my  house  ?  For  these 
letters  summon  apprehensions  into  my  heart ;  those  thou- 

1  At  my  own  award) — Ver.  990.  He  means  to  tell  Charmides,  that  by  delaying 
his  return  thus  late,  he  has  spoilt  his  prospect  of  a  lucrative  job ;  and  he  then  adds, 
that  he  deserves  a  thrashing,  equally  with  the  actor  who  came  on  the  stage  too 
late.  The  actors  in  early  times,  being  often  slaves,  were  liable  to  punishment  if 
they  offended  the  audience.  The  iEdiles  were  the  officers  under  whose  super- 
intendence the  plays  were  performed ;  and  probably  with  them  lay  the  decision 
whether  the  actor  should  be  punished  for  coming  late  on  the  stage,  after  he  had 
been  pronounced  deserving  of  it  in  the  opinion  (arbifratu)  of  the  spectators.  See 
the  Note  to  1.  707. 

2  Have  arrived  in  safety) — Ver.  991.  "  Advenis."  After  this  word,  Callicles 
might  suppose  that  the  Sharper  is  going  to  congratulate  in  the  usual  terms  on  his 
safe  arrival ;  but,  instead  of  that,  the  fellow  pauses,  and  then  finishes  with  a 
malediction. 

3  Go  and  carry  word)— Ver.  995.  To  tell  him  that  he  has  given  the  three  pieces 
to  no  purpose,  for  the  real  Charmides  has  made  his  appearance,  and  has  completely 
spoiled  the  plot. 

4  From  abroad) — Ver.  997.  This  scene  is  replete  with  true  comic  spirit  It  has 
been  supposed  by  some  that  the  disgrace  of  the  pedant  in  Shakspeare's  Taming  of 
the  Shrew,  and  his  assuming  the  name  and  character  of  Vincentio,  were  suggested 
by  this  scene.  A  similar  incident  is  met  with  in  the  old  play  of  Albuinazar 
act  iv.,  sc.  3,  and  most  probably  it  was  borrowed  from  the  present  passage. 


SC.  IV.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONET.  55 

sand  pieces,  too — what  purpose  they  were  to  serve.  I'  faith, 
a  bell1  is  never  rung  for  no  purpose ;  unless  some  one 
handles  it  or  moves  it,  'tis  mute,  'tis  dumb.  But  who  ia 
this,  that  is  beginning  to  run  this  way  along  the  street  ?  I 
should  like  to  observe  what  he  is  about.  I'll  step  aside  this 
way.     (He  retires  aside.) 


Scene  IY. 

Enter  Stasimus. 

St  as.  (to  himself).  Stasimus,  make  you  haste  with  all 
speed;  away  with  you  to  your  master's  house,  lest  on  a  sud- 
den, through  your  folly,  fears  should  arise  for  your  shoulder- 
blades2.  Quicken  your  pace,  make  haste ;  'tis  now  a  long 
while  since  you  left  the  house.  If  you  shall  be  absent  when 
inquired  after  by  your  master,  take  you  care,  please,  that  the 
smacks  of  the  bull's-hide3  don't  clatter  thick  upon  you.  Don't 
you  cease  running.  See  now,  Stasimus,  what  a  worthless 
fellow  you  are  ;  and  isn't  it  the  fact  that  you  have  forgotten 
your  ring4  at  the  liquor-shop5,  after  you  have  been  washing 

1  r  faith,  a  bell) — Ver.  1004.  He  aptly  compares  the  worthless  fellow  to  a  bell, 
and  then  shrewdly  judges  that  a  bell  cannot  ring  unless  it  is  put  in  motion  fay 
somebody. 

2  For  your  shoulder-blades) — Ver.  1009.  The  slaves  among  the  Romans  were 
whipped  most  unmercifully  with  the  "  flagellum,"  a  whip,  to  the  handle  of  which 
a  lash  was  fastened,  made  of  cords  or  thongs  of  leather,  especially  from  the  ox's 
hide.  It  was  often  knotted  with  bones,  or  pieces  of  bronze,  or  terminated  by 
hooks,  and  was  then  not  inaptly  termed  "  a  scorpion."  The  infliction  of 
punishment  with  this  on  the  naked  back  was  sometimes  fatal,  and  was  carried 
.nto  execution  by  a  class  of  slaves  who  were  called  "  lorarii." 

3  Smacks  of  the  bulTs-hide) — Ver.  1011.  "  Cottabus"  was  a  game  played  by  the 
Sicilians  and  Greeks,  in  which  the  players  had  in  turn  to  throw  wine  out  of  a 
goblet  into  a  metal  basin  at  a  certain  distance,  in  such  a  way  as  not  to  spill  any  of 
the  wine.  The  methods  in  which  the  game  was  played  are  stated  with  precision 
in  an  able  article  in  Dr.  Smith's  Dictionary.  As  one  of  the  merits  of  the  game  was 
that  the  wine  thrown  should  in  its  fall  produce  the  strongest  and  most  pat  sound, 
Stasimus  here  calls  the  smacks  of  the  whip  on  his  back  so  many  "  bubuli  cottabi,'* 
"  ox-hide  smacks." 

4  Forgotten  your  ring) — Ver.  1014.  We  learn  from  Caelius  Rhodiginus  that 
"  condalium"  was  a  peculiar  kind  of  ring  worn  by  slaves. 

4  At  the  liquor-shop) — Ver.  1013.  The  "  thermopoha"  are  supposed  to  have  beflf 
tne  same  as  the  "popinae,"  shops  where  drinks  and  ready-dressed  provisions  weu 


56  TlilNUMMUS;  Act  IV. 

your  throat  with  warm  drink  ?  Tarn  about,  and  run  back 
now,  to  seek  it,  while  the  thing  has  but  just  happened. 

Charmides  (behind).  Whoever  he  is,  his  throat  is  his 
taskmaster1 ;  that  teaches  this  fellow  the  art  of  running. 

Stas.  "What,  good-for-nothing  fellow,  are  you  not  ashamed 
of  yourself?  having  lost  your  memory  after  only  three 
cups  ?  And  really,  because  you  were  there  drinking  toge- 
ther with  such  honest  fellows,  who  could  keep  their  hands 
off3  the  property  of  another  without  difficulty  ; — is  it  among 
such  men  that  you  expect  you  may  recover  your  ring  ? 
Chiruchus  was  there,  Cerconicus,  Crimnus,  Cricolabus,  Col- 
labus3,  whipped-necks4,  whipped-legs,  iron-rubbers,  whipped- 
knaves.  By  my  faith,  any  one  of  these  could  steal  the  sole 
of  his  shoe  from  a  running  footman5. 

sold.  They  were  very  numerous  throughout  Italy.  The  keepers  of  them  were 
called  "  popse."  In  the  present  instance  we  learn  what  kind  of  people  visited 
them,  and  Cicero  tells  us  that  they  were  frequented  by  the  slaves  and  the  lower 
orders.  They  sat  on  stools  or  benches,  while  they  drank  "  calda,"  or  "  calida," 
"  mulled  wine,"  which  was  always  kept  hot.  It  was  probably  mixed  with  spices, 
and  was  the  favourite  drink  of  the  lower  classes.  It  was  measured  out  in  "  po- 
teria,"  "draughts,"  which  are  here  mentioned;  and  which  formed,  probably, 
about  a  moderate  cupful.  Claudius  commanded  the  "  thermopolia"  to  be  closed 
at  one  period  of  his  reign. 

1  His  throat  is  his  taskmaster)— Ver.  1016.  He  has  overheard  what  Stasimus 
has  said  about  warming  his  throat  in  1.  1014;  and,  talking  to  himself,  he  remarks 
that  his  throat  will  be  the  cause  of  his  learning  how  to  run,  as  he  warms  his 
throat,  gets  drunk,  loses  his  ring,  runs  homeward,  and  then  runs  back  to  find  it. 

2  Would  keep  their  hands  off) — Ver.  1019.  There  is  no  doubt  that  this  is>  in- 
tended to  be  said  satirically. 

3  Cricolabus,  Collabus) — Ver.  1021.  These  are  either  nicknames,  or,  possibly, 
names  really  given  to  slaves,  as  in  all  ages  and  countries  masters  have  especially 
tried  to  show  their  wit  in  naming  their  slaves. 

4  Whipped-necks) — Ver.  1022.  "  Collicrepidae"  and  "  Cruricrepidae"  were  pro- 
bably cant  terms  for  slaves,  who  carried  the  marks  of  punishment  on  their  necka 
and  legs.  " Crepidae"  is  from  the  verb  "crepo,"  to  "crack,"  and  alludes  to  the 
sound  of  the  lashes.  "  Ferriterius"  was  a' slave  who  bore  the  marks  of  the  chain 
with  which  he  had  been  fastened  for  refractory  conduct,  while  "  mastigia"  was  a 
name  given  to  a  slave  who  had  passed  the  ordeal  of  flogging.  A  liquor-shop  was 
a  likely  place  for  the  resort  of  worthless  and  refractory  slaves. 

5  From  a  running  footman) — Ver.  1023.  "  Cursores"  were  slaves  who  ran  before 
the  carriage  of  their  masters  for  the  same  purpose  as  our  outriders.  Perhaps, 
however,  this  is  not  the  meaning  of  the  word  here,  as  the  name  was  given  to  all 
slaves  whom  their  masters  employed  in  carrying  letters  and  messages.  Stasimus 
hints  by  tJis  that  his  boon  companions  were  not  only  very  expert  at  thieving,  but 
that  they  would  prey  just  as  readily  on  a  fellow-slave  as  any  other  person. 


Sc.  IV.  THE  THEEE  PIECES  OF  MONET.  57 

Charm,  (behind).  So  may  the  Gods  love  me,  a  finished 
thief. 

Stas.  Why  should  I  go  seek  what  is  gone  for  ever? 
Unless  I  would  bestow  rny  pains,  too,  by  way  of  addition 
over  and  above  to  my  loss.  Why,  then,  don't  you  consider 
that  what  is  gone  is  gone  ?  Tack  about,  then1.  Betake 
yourself  back  to  your  master. 

Charm,  (behind).  This  fellow  is  no  runaway;  he  remem- 
bers his  home. 

Stas.  I  wish  that  the  old-fashioned  ways  of  old-fashioned 
clays,  and  the  old-fashioned  thriftiness,  were  in  greater 
esteem  here,  rather  than  these  bad  ways. 

Charm,  (behind).  Immortal  Grods !  this  man  really  is  be- 
ginning to  talk  of  noble  doings !  He  longs  for  the  old- 
fashioned  ways ;  know  that  he  loves  the  old-fashioned  ways, 
after  the  fashion  of  our  forefathers. 

Stas.  For,  now-a-days,  men's  manners  reckon  of  no  value 
what  is  proper,  except  what  is  agreable.  Ambition  now  is 
sanctioned  by  usage,  and  is  free  from  the  laws.  By  usage, 
people  have  the  license  to  throw  away  their  shields,  and  to 
run  away  from  the  enemy.  To  seek  honor  thereby  in  place  of 
disgrace  is  the  usage. 

Charm,  (behind).  A  shameless  usage. 

Stas.  Now-a-days,  'tis  the  usage  to  neglect  the  brave. 

Charm,  (behind).  Aye,  'tis  really  shocking. 

Stas.  The  public  manners  have  now  got  the  laws  in  their 
power ;  to  them  they  are  more  submissive  than  are  parents 
to  their  children2.  In  their  misery,  these  laws  are  even  hung 
up3  against  the  wall  with  iron  nails,  where  it  had  been  much 
more  becoming  for  bad  ways  to  be  fixed  up. 

Charm,  (behind).  I'd  like  to  go  up  and  accost  this  person ; 
but  I  listen  to  him  with  much  pleasure,  and  I'm  afraid,  if  I 
address  him,  that  he  may  begin  to  talk  on  some  other  subject. 

1  Tack  about,  then) — Ver.  1026.  "  Cape  vorsoriam"  was  a  sea-phrase,  meaning 
"  turn,"  or  "tack  about;"  as  "  vorsoria"  was  the  name  of  the  rope  by  which  the 
sail  was  turned  from  one  direction  to  another 

2  Parents  to  their  children') — Ver.  1038.  This  is  said  satirically  in  reference  to 
the  corruptness  of  the  age,  in  which  all  the  relations  and  duties  of  life  were  turned 
upside  down. 

3  Are  even  hung  up) — Ver.  1039.  He  alludes  to  the  custom  among  the  Romans 
of  writing  or  engraving  the  laws  and  ordinances  on  wood  or  brass,  and  hanging 
them  up  for  public  inspection  upon  pegs  or  rails  in  the  Capitol,  Forum,  and  Curiae, 

r  Court-houses. 


58  TRINUMMTTS  ;  Act  IV 

Stas.  And,  for  these  ways,  there  is  nothing  rendered 
sacred  by  the  law.  The  laws  are  subservient  to  usage  ;  but 
these  habits  are  hastening  to  sweep  away  both  what  is  sacred 
and  what  is  public  property. 

Charm,  (behind).  By  my  troth, 'twere  right  for  some  great 
calamity  to  befal  these  bad  customs. 

Stas.  Ought  not  this  state  of  things  to  be  publicly  cen- 
sured ?  For  this  kind  of  men  are  the  enemies  of  all  per- 
sons, and  do  an  injury  to  the  entire  people.  By  a  non-ob- 
servance of  their  own  honour,  they  likewise  destroy  all  trust 
even  in  those  who  merit  it  not ;  inasmuch  as  people  form  an 
estimate  of  the  disposition  of  these  from  the  disposition  of 
those  fellows.  If  you  lend1  a  person  any  money,  it  becomes  lost 
for  any  purpose  as  one's  own.  When  you  ask  for  it  back 
again,  you  may  find  a  friend  made  an  enemy  by  your  kindness. 
If  you  begin  to  press  still  further,  the  option  of  two  things 
ensues — either  you  must  part  with  that  which  you  have  en- 
trusted, or  else  you  must  lose  that  friend.  As  to  how  this 
suggests  itself  to  me,  I  have  by  actual  experience  been  lately 
put  in  mind  of  it. 

Charm,  (behind).  Surely  this  is  my  servant  Stasimus  ? 

Stas.  For  as  to  him  to  whom  I  lent  the  talent,  I  bought 
myself  an  enemy  with  my  talent,  and  sold  my  friend.  But  I 
am  too  great  a  simpleton  to  be  attending  to  public  matters 
rather  than  (what's  my  immediate  interest)  obtain  safety 
for  my  back.     I'll  go  home.     (Moves  as  if  going.) 

Charm.  Hallo,  you !  Stop,  this  instant !  Harkye  ;  hallo, 
you! 

Stas.  I'll  not  stop.     Charm.  I  want  you. 

Stas.  What  if  I  myself  don't  want  you  to  want  me. 

Charm.  Why,  Stasimus,  you  are  behaving  very  rudely. 

Stas.  'Twere  better  for  you  to  buy  some  one  to  give  your 
commands  to. 

Charm.  I'  faith,  I  have  bought  one,  and  paid  the  money, 
too.  But  if  he  is  not  obedient  to  my  orders,  what  am  I  to 
do? 

1  If  you  lend) — Ver.  1050.  Stasimus  has  experienced  this,  and  has  applied  for 
the  talent  which  he  lent,  but  in  vain ;  unless,  indeed,  his  meaning  is  that  he  got 
back  the  talent,  but  iost  his  friend.  Shakspeare  has  a  somewhat  similar  passag* 
in  Hamlet : 

Neither  a  borrower  nor  a  lender  be ; 

For  loan  oft  loseth  both  itself  and  friend 


Sc.  IV,  THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONET,  59 

Stas.  Give  him  a  severe  punishment. 

Charm.  You  give  good  advice ;  I  am  resolved  to  do  so. 

Stas.  Unless,  iudeed,  you  are  under  obligations  to  him. 

Charm.  If  he  is  a  deserving  person,  I  am  under  obligations 
to  him  ;  but  if  he  is  otherwise,  I'll  do  as  you  advise  me. 

Stas.  What  matters  it  to  me  whether  you  have  good  or 
bad  slaves  ? 

Charm.  Because  you  have  a  share  in  this  matter  both  of 
the  good  and  of  the  bad. 

Stas.  The  one  share  I  leave  to  yourself;  the  other  share, 
that  in  the  good,  do  you  set  down1  to  my  account. 

Charm.  If  you  shall  prove  deserving,  it  shall  be  so.  Look 
back  at  me — I  am  Charmides. 

Stas.  Ha!  what  person  is  it  that  has  made  mention  of 
that  most  worthy  man  ? 

Charm.  'Tis  that  most  worthy  man  himself. 

Stas.  O  seas,  earth,  heavens,  by  my  trust  in  you — do 
I  see  quite  clearly  with  my  eyes  ?  Is  this  he,  or  is  it  not  ? 
;Tis  he  !  'Tis  certainly  he  ;  'tis  he  beyond  a  doubt !  O  my 
most  earnestly  wished-for  master,  health  to  you ! 

Charm.  Health  to  you,  too,  Stasimus ! 

Stas.  That  you  are  safe  and  sound,  I 

Charm,  (interrupting  Mm).  I  know  it,  and  I  believe  you. 
But  wave  the  rest ;  answer  me  this ;  how  are  my  children, 
my  son  and  daughter,  whom  I  left  here  ? 

Stas.  They  are  alive,  and  well. 

Charm.  Both  of  them,  say  your     Stas.  Both  of  them. 

Charm.  The  G-ods  willed  me  to  be  safe  and  preserved  from 
dangers.  The  rest  that  I  want  to  know  I  will  inquire  about 
in-doors  at  my  leisure.     Let  us  go  in-doors  ;  follow  me. 

Stas.  Where  are  you  going  now  ?  Charm.  Where  else 
but  to  my  house  ? 

Stas.  Do  you  suppose  that  we  are  living  here  ? 

1  Do  you  set  dow?i)—Ver.  1067.  "  Appone."  This  word  is  used  figuratively,  it 
being  employed  to  mean,  in  mercantile  matters,  "  to  set  down  to  one's  account." 
So  Horace  says : 

Quem  sors  dierum  cumque  dab  it,  lucro 

Appone 

"  Whatever  »oi  each  day  shall  bring,  set  that  down  as  clear  gain."  This,  we  may 
here  observe,  is  a  similar  sentiment  to  that  conveyed  in  the  remark  of  Callicr* 
1.65. 


GO  TRINUMMTJ3  ;  Act  IV 

Charm.  Why,  where  else  should  I  sup  pose  ? 

Stas.  Now Charm.  What  about  "now?" 

Stas.  This  house  is  not  our  own. 

Charm.  What  is  it  I  hear  from  you  ? 

Stas.  Your  son  has  sold  this  house. 

Charm.  I'm  ruined.  Stas.  For  silver  minse ;  ready  money 
counted  out. 

Charm.  How  many  ?     Stas.  Forty. 

Charm.  I'm  undone.     Who  has  purchased  it  ? 

Stas.  Callicles,  to  whom  you  entrusted  your  affairs ;  he 
has  removed  here  to  live,  and  has  turned  us  out  of  doors. 

Charm.  Where  is  my  son  now  liviug  ? 

Stas.  Here,  in  these  back  buildings.  (Points  to  the  side 
of  the  house.) 

Charm.  I'm  utterly  undone. 

Stas.  I  thought  that  this  would  be  distressing  to  you 
when  you  heard  of  it. 

Charm.  To  my  sorrow,  amid  extreme  dangers  I  have  been 
borne  over  vast  oceans,  with  the  peril  of  my  life  I  have  pre- 
served myself  among  robbers  full  many  in  number,  and  I 
have  returned  safe.  JN"ow,  to  my  misery,  I  am  here  undone 
by  reason  of  those  same  persons  for  whose  sake  I  have  been 
struggling  at  this  time  of  life  Grief  is  depriving  me  of  my 
senses.     Support  me,  Stasimus. 

Stas.  Do  you  wish  me  to  fetch  you  some  water  ? 

Charm.  When  my  fortunes  were  in  their  mortal  struggle, 
then  was  it  befitting  that  water  should  be  sprinkled1  upon 
them. 


Scene  V. 

Enter  Callicles. 

Call.  What  noise  is  this  that  I  hear  before  my  house  ? 
Charm.  O   Callicles!   0  Callicles!  0  Callicles!  to  what 
sort  of  friend  have  I  entrusted  my  property  ? 

Call.  To  one  good,  and  faithful,  and  trusty,  and  of  strict 

1  Should  be  sprinkled) — Ver.  1092.  His  meaning  is,  "  you  should  have  been  as 
ready  to  give  j-our  assistance  at  the  time  when  my  fortunes  were  in  their  death- 
etruggle  through  the  conduct  of  my  son  Lesbonicus." 


Sc.  V.  THE  THREE  PIECES  Of  MONEY.  61 

integrity.     Health  to  you,  and  I  rejoice  that  you  have  ar- 
rived safe  and  sound1. 


[Charm.  How,  health  to  me  ?  Troth,  I  have  no  patience 
with  such  health.  This  I  wish  to  know  ;•  how  have  you  kept 
your  trust,  who,  without  my  knowledge,  have  utterly  de- 
stroyed my  property  and  my  children  that  I  entrusted  to  you 
and  committed  to  your  charge  when  going  hence  abroad  ? 

Call.  I  don't  think  that  it  is  fair,  when  you  don't  under- 
stand the  matter,  to  censure  your  old  friend  with  harsh 
words.  For  you  are  both  mistaken  and  you  are  doing  me  a 
very  great  injustice. 

Charm.  Have  you  not  bought  this  house  which  you  came 
out  of  just  now,  and  driven  thence  my  son  Lesbonicus  ?  Is 
this  so  as  I  say,  or  is  it  not  ?     Answer  me. 

Call.  I  myself  did  buy  the  house;  I  bought  it  that  I 
might  keep  it  for  you.  And  without  that  it  would  have  hap- 
pened that  your  son  would  have  sold  it  to  another  person ; 
and  then  you  would  have  lost  both  it  and  that  treasure 
together,  which,  concealed  there,  you  had  entrusted  to  my 
charge.  See,  I  restore  it  safe  to  you ;  for  you  did  I  buy  it, 
not  for  myself. 

Charm.  Prithee,  what  do  you  say  ?  By  my  trust  in  Gods 
and  men,  you  make  me  suddenly  to  be  quite  ashamed  of  my 
error  in  speaking  unkindly  to  my  friend  in  return  for  his 
services. 

Call.  How,  then ;  do  you  now  think  that  I  am  trusty 
and  faithful  ?] 

Charm.  I  do  think  so,  if  all  these  matters  are  so  as  you 
relate  them.     But  what  means2  this  garb  of  yours  ? 

Call.  I'll  tell  you.  I  was  digging  up  the  treasure  in- 
doors, as  a  marriage-portion  to  be  given  to  your  daughter. 

1  Safe  and  sound) — Ver.  1097.  The  lines  after  this,  enclosed  in  brackets,  are 
supplied  by  Ritschel  in  Latin  verse,  to  supply  the  "  lacuna"  here,  where  it  is  clear 
that  some  part  of  the  play  has  been  lost.  They  are  cleverly  composed,  and  do 
great  credit  to  his  ingenuity. 

2  But  what  means) — Ver.  1099.  As  he  has  been  interrupted  while  digging  up 
the  treasure,  it  is  probable  that  he  has  run  out  with  his  sleeves  tucked  up,  and 
perhaps  with  the  spade  in  his  hand,  which  causes  Charmides  to  make  the  present 
inquiry. 


62  tkinummus  ;  Act  V. 

But  I  will  relate  to  you  both  this  and  the  rest  in  the  house. 
Follow  me. 

Chaem.  Stasimus.      Stas.  "Well! 

Charm.  Eun  with  all  haste  to  the  Piraeus1,  and  make  but 
one  run  of  it.  There  you  will  at  once  see  the  ship,  on  board 
of  which  I  was  carried  hither.  Bid  Sagario  take  care  that 
the  things  are  brought  which  I  enjoined  him,  and  do  you  go 
together  with  them.  The  duty  has  been  already  paid2  to  the 
custom-house  officer. 

Stas.  I  make  no  delay.  Chaem.  Get  you  gone  with  all 
speed ;  and  be  back  directly. 

Stas.  I  am  both  there  and  here  in  an  instant. 

Call,  (to  Chaemldes.)  Do  you  follow  me  this  way  in- 
doors.    Chaem.  I  follow. 

(Exeunt  Callicles  and  Chaemldes  into  the  house. 

Stas.  This  man  alone  has  remained  a  firm  friend  to  my 
master ;  nor  has  he  allowed  his  mind  to  swerve  from  unshaken 
fidelity,  although  I  believe  that  he  has  undergone  many 
troubles,  by  reason  of  the  property  and  the  children  of  my 
master.  Still,  this  person,  as  I  suspect,  alone  has  main- 
tained his  fidelity.  (Exit. 


ACT    THE    FIFTH. 
Scene  I. 
Enter  Ltsiteles. 
Lts.  This  individual3  is  the  very  first  of  all  men ;   ex- 
celling aU  in  pleasures  and  delights.     So  truly  do  the  bless- 
ings which  I  desire  befal  me,  that  whatever  I  undertake  is 
brought  about,  and  constantly  succeeds  :  so  does  one  delight 
succeed  other  delights.     Just  now,  Stasimus,   the  servant 
of  Lesbonicus,  came  to  me  at  home.     He  told  me  that  his 

1  ThePircms) — Ver.  1103.  The  Piraeus  was  the  main  harbour  of  Athens,  with 
which  it  was  Connected  by  long  walls. 

2  Been  already  paid) — Ver.  1107.  Among  the  Romans,  merchandise  which  a 
person  brought  with  him  from  abroad  for  his  own  use  was  in  general  exempt  from 
"portorium,"  or  import  duty;  but  this  was  not  the  case  if  it  belonged  rather  to 
the  luxuries  than  the  necessaries  of  life. 

3  This  individual) — Ver.  1115.  He  is  speaking  of  himself  in  the  third  person, 
and  is  congratulating  himself  on  his  being  about  to  obtain  the  hand  of  the  daughter 
of  Charmides. 


Sc.  II.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OP  MONET.  63 

master,  Charmides,  had  arrived  here  from  abroad.  [Now 
lie  must  be  forthwith  waited  upon  by  me,  that  the  father  may 
prove  a  more  sure  foundation  in  that  matter  on  which  I  have 
treated  with  his  son.  I'll  go.  But  this  door,  with  its  creak- 
ing, inopportunely  causes  me  delay.  (He  retires  to  a  dis- 
tanced) 

Scene  II. 
Enter  Charmides  and  Callicles. 

Charm.  There  never  was,  nor  will  there  be,  nor  yet  do  1 
think  that  there  is  a  person  upon  the  earth,  whose  fidelity 
and  constancy  towards  his  friend  equals  yours.  Tor  without 
you,  it  would  have  been  that  he  would  have  ousted  me  out 
of  this  house. 

Call.  If  I  have  in  any  way  acted  well  towards  my  friend, 
or  have  faithfully  consulted  his  advantage,  I  seem  not  to  be 
deserving  of  praise,  but  I  think  I  am  free  from  fault.  For 
a  benefit  which  is  conferred  on  a  man  for  his  own,  at  once  is 
lost  to  the  giver  ;  what  is  given  only  as  a  loan,  the  same  thero 
is  a  right  to  ask  back,  whenever  you  please. 

Charm.  'Tis  so  as  you  say.  But  I  cannot  sufficiently 
wonder  at  this,  that  he  has  betrothed  his  sister  into  a  family 
so  influential. 

Call.  Aye  ;  to  Lysiteles,  the  son  of  Philto. 

Lts.   (behind).  Why,  he  is  mentioning  my  name. 

Charm.  He  has  got  into  a  most  worthy  family. 

Lts.  (behind).  "Why  do  I  hesitate  to  address  these  per- 
sons ?  But  still,  I  think,  I  may  wait  awhile  ;  for  something 
is  going  to  be  said  to  the  purpose  about  this  matter. 

Charm.  0 Call.  What's  the  matter? 

Charm.  I  forgot  just  now  to  tell  you  of  it  in-doors.  As 
I  was  coming  hither,  a  while  ago,  a  certain  swindling  fellow 
met  me — a  very  finished  sharper.  He  told  me  that  he  was 
carrying  a  thousand  gold  pieces,  of  my  giving,  to  you  and  my 
son  Lesbonicus ;  a  fellow,  that  I  know  not  who  he  was,  nor 
have  I  ever  seen  him  anywhere  before.  But  why  do  you 
laugh? 

Call.  He  came  by  my  directions,  as  though  he  was  one 
bringing  the  gold  from  you  to  me,  to  give  as  a  portion  to  your 


64  raiNUMMirs ;  Act  v 

daughter ;  that  your  son,  when  I  should  give  it  to  her  from 
my  own  hands,  might  suppose  that  it  had  been  brought  from 
you,  and  that  he  might  not  anyhow  be  enabled  to  discover  the 
fact  itself — that  your  treasure  was  in  my  possession,  and  de- 
mand it  of  me1,  as  having  belonged  to  his  father,  by  the  public 
laws. 

Charm.  Cleverly  contrived,  i'  troth.  Call.  Megaronides, 
a  common  well-wisher  of  yours  and  mine,  planned  this. 

Charm.  "Well,  I  applaud  his  device,  and  approve  of  it. 

Lts.  (behind).  Why,  in  my  foolishness,  while  I  fear  to 
interrupt  their  discourse,  am  I  standing  here  alone,  and  am 
not  forwarding  the  business  that  I  was  intending  to  trans- 
act ?     I  will  accost  these  persons.     (He  advances.) 

Chaem.  Who  is  this  person  that  is  coming  this  way  to- 
wards us  ? 

Lts.  (going  up  to  Charmides).  Lysiteles  salutes  his 
father-in-law  Charmides. 

Charm.  May  the  Gods  grant  you,  Lysiteles,  whatever 
you  may  desire. 

Call.  Am  I  not  worthy  of  a  salutation  ? 

Lts.  Yes ;  health  to  you,  Callicles.  It  is  right  that  I 
should  give  him  the  preference :  the  tunic  is  nearer2  the  shin 
than  the  cloak. 

Call.  I  trust  that  the  Gods  may  direct  your  plans 
aright. 

Charm.  I  hear  that  my  daughter  has  been  betrothed  to 
you? 

Lts.  Unless  you  are  unwilling.  Charm.  Nay,  I  am  not 
unwilling. 

Lts.  Do  you,  then,  promise  your  daughter  for  my  wife  ? 

Charm.  I  promise  a  thousand  gold  Philippean  pieces,  as 
well,  for  a  portion. 

Lts.  I  care  nothing  about  a  portion. 

Charm.  If  she  pleases  you,  the  portion  which  she  presents 
to  you  must  be  pleased  as  well.     In  fine,  the  object  which 

1  And  demand  it  of  me)—Ver.  1146.  On  the  supposition  of  Lis  father's  death, 
the  laws  would  probably  have  decreed  it  to  him  as  his  father's  heir. 

2  The  tunic  is  nearer)— Ver.  1154.  This  was,  perhaps,  a  proverbial  saying,  used 
when  a  preference  was  expressed.  Of  course  he  would  pay  more  respect  to  his 
anticipated  father-in-law  than  to  an  ordinary  frienl  The  "  tunica"  supplied  th* 
place  of  the  shirt  of  modern  times. 


Sc.  III.  THE  THREE  PIECES  OF  MONEY.  Q5 

you  desire  you  shall  not  have,  unless  you  shall  take  that 
which  you  do  not  desire. 

Call,  (to  Ltsiteles).  He  asks  but  justice. 

Lts.  He  shall  obtain  it,  you  the  advocate  and  the  judge. 
On  these  conditions,  do  you  engage  that  your  daughter  shall 
be  given  to  me  as  my  wife  ? 

Charm.  I  do  promise  her.  Call.  And  I  promise  her 
likewise. 

Lys.  0  save  you,  my  connexions  by  marriage.  (He  embrace* 
them.") 

Charm.  But,  in  good  sooth,  there  are  some  matters  on 
account  of  which  I  stili  am  angry  with  you. 

Lys.  "What  have  I  done?  Charm.  Because  you  have 
allowed  my  son  to  become  dissolute. 

Lys.  Had  that  been  done  by  my  consent,  there  would  have 
been  cause  for  you  to  blame  me.  *  *  *  *  * 
But  allow  me  to  obtain  of  you  this  one  thing  which  I  entreat  P 

Charm.  What  is  it  ?  Lys.  You  shall  know.  If  he  has 
done  anything  imprudently,  that  you  will  dismiss  it  all /row 
l/our  mind.     Why  do  you  shake  your  head  ? 

Charm.  My  heart  is  tortured,  and  I  fear 

Lys.  What  is  it  now  ?  Charm.  Because  he  is  such  as  I 
would  that  he  was  not, — by  that  am  I  tortured.  I  fear  that 
if  I  refuse  you  what  you  ask  of  me,  you  may  suppose  that  I 
am  indifferent  towards  you.  I  won't  make  difficulties,  noic- 
ever;  I  will  do  as  you  wish. 

Lys.  You  are  a  worthy  man.  I  am  going  to  call  him  out. 
(He  goes  to  the  door  of  the  house  of  Charmides.) 

Charm.  'Tis  a  shocking  thing  if  one  is  not  a] '.owed  to 
punish  bad  deserts  just  as  they  merit. 

Lys.  (knocking  at  the  door).  Open  the  door,  open  quickly, 
and  call  Lesbonicus  out  of  doors,  if  he  is  at  home.  The 
occasion  is  very  sudden,  therefore  I  wish  him  to  come  to  me 
with  all  haste. 

Scene  III. 

Enter  LESBONicus/rom  the  house. 

Lesb.  What  person  has  been  calling  me  out  of  doors  with 
so  loud  a  knocking  ? 

Lys.  'Tis  your  well-wisher  and  friend. 
Lesb.  Is  all  quite  right? — tell  me. 
r 


GG  TRINUMMUB,  Act.  V. 

Lts.  All's  well.  I  am  glad  to  say  that  your  father  has 
returned  from  abroad. 

Lesb.  "Who  says  so  ?     Lts.  I. 

Lesb.  Have  you  seen  him  ?  Lys.  Aye,  and  you  yourself 
may  see  him  too.     (He points  to  Chabmides.) 

Lesb.  O  my  father,  my  father,  blessings  on  you. 

Chaem.  Many  blessings  on  you,  my  son. 

Lesb.  If,   father,   any  trouble1 Charm.   Have  no 

fear,  nothing  has  happened.  My  affairs  prosperously  managed, 
I  have  returned  safe.  If  you  are  only  wishful  to  be  steady, 
that  daughter  of  Callicles  has  been  promised  you. 

Lesb.  I  will  marry  both  her,  father,  and  any  one  else 
besides  that  you  shall  bid  me. 

Charm.  Although  I  have  been  angry  with  you,  one 
misery2,  in  fact,  is  more  than  enough  for  one  man. 

Call.  Nay,  rather,  'twere  too  little  for  him  ;  for  if  he- 
were  to  marry  a  hundred  wives  for  his  sins,  it  were  too 
little. 

Lesb.  But  henceforth,  in  future,  I  will  be  steady. 

Charm.  So  you  say ;  if  you  will  only  do  it. 

Lesb.  Is  there  any  reason  why  I  should  not  bring  my  wife 
home  to-morrow  ? 

Charm.  'Tis  very  good.  And  you,  Lysiteles,  be  ready  to 
be  married  the  day  after  to-morrow. 

A  Comedian. 
Give  your  applause3. 

1  If,  father,  any  trouble) — Ver.  1181.  Lesbonicus  seems  to  be  about  to  apolo- 
gise to  Cbarmides  for  any  trouble  he  may  have  given  him,  but,  as  the  old  man  has 
already  agreed  to  forgive  him  at  the  intercession  of  Lysiteles,  he  will  not  allow  a 
word  more  to  be  said  about  it. 

-  One  misery) — Ver.  1 185.  The  old  gentleman  tells  his  son  that  he  will  be  quite 
sufficiently  punished  for  his  faults  by  having  one  wife.  It  is  either  said  as  a  joke 
in  a  bantering  way,  or  else  it  means,  that,  what  will  be  a  great  punishment  to 
him,  he  must  now  reform  his  mode  of  life,  for  common  decency  sake  and  out  of 
respect  to  his  wife. 

3  Give  your  applause) — Ver.  1189.  "  Plaudite."  Literally,  "  clap  your  hands." 
Eitschel,  on  a  full  examination  of'theMSS.,  comes  to  the  conclusion  that  this  was 
said,  not,  as  is  generally  thought  by  one  of  the  characters  in  the  piay,  but  by  one 
of  the  actors  or  singers,  probably,  of  the  Chorus,  who  commenced  their  song  the 
moment  the  play  was  finished.  All  the  applause  bestowed  on  the  writer  and  the 
*otors  seems  to  have  been  usually  reserved  for  the  end  of  the  play. 


MILES  GLORIOSUS; 
THE  BRAGGART   CAPTAIN 


Dramatis  persona?. 

Ptrgopolinices,  the  Braggart  Captain. 

Artotrogus,  a  Parasite. 

Periplecomenus,  an  old  gentleman,  the  friend  of  Pleusicieg. 

Pleusicles,  a  young  Athenian. 

PaLuESTrio,  servant  of  Pyrgopolinices. 

Sceledrus,  another  servant  of  Pyrgopolinices. 

Lucrio,  a  lad,  an  under-servant  of  Pyrgopolinices. 

Cario,  cook  to  Periplecomenus. 

A  Boy. 

Philocomasium,  the  mistress  of  Pyrgopolhices.     ' 

Acroteleutium,  a  Courtesan. 

Milphidippa,  her  maid. 

Slaves. 

Seen* —Ephesus :  a  Street  before  the  houses  of  Peripleocwejj  us  and  pY£^t> 
i-olinicks,  which  adjoin  each  otiiu. 


*8 


THE   SUBJECT. 


IJEUSICLES,  a  young  Athenian,  is  in  love  with  Philocouiasium,  a  Courtesan  u\ 
Athens,  who  returns  his  affection.   Being  sent  on  public  business  to  Naupactus, 
a  certain  Captain  of  Ephesus,  Pyrgopolinices  by  name,  comes  to  Athens,  and  in- 
sinuates himself  into  the  good  graces  of  her  mother,  in  order  that  he  may  get 
Philocomasium   into  his  power.     Having  deceived  the  mother,  he  places  the 
daughter  on  board  ship  and  carries  her  off  to  Ephesus.     On  this,  Palsestrio,  a 
faithful  servant  of  Pleusicles,  hastens  to  embark  for  Naupactus,  with  the  view  of 
telling  his  master  what  has  happened.     The  ship  being  taken  by  pirates,  he  is 
made  captive,  and  by  chance  is  presented  as  a  gift  to  Pyrgopolinices.    He  re- 
cognises the  mistress  of  Pleusicles  in  the  Captain's  house;  but  he  carefully 
conceals  from  the  Captain  who  he  himself  is.     He  then  privately  writes  to 
Pleusicles,  requesting  him  to  come  to  Ephesus.     On  arriving,  Pleusicles  is 
hospitably  entertained  by  Periplecomenus,  a  friend  of  his  father,  an  old  gentle- 
man who  lives  next  door  to  the  Captain.     As  Philocomasium  has  a  private 
room  of  her  own  in  the  Captain's  house,  a  hole  is  made  through  the  partition 
wall,  and  by  this  contrivance  she  meets  Pleusicles  in  the  house  of  his  enter- 
tainer, who  gives  his  sanction  to  the  plan. 
At  this  juncture,  the  play  begins.    A  servant  of  the  Captain,  named  Sceledrus, 
has  been  appointed  to  be  the  keeper  of  Philocomasium.     Pursuing  a  monkey 
along  the  roof  of  the  house,  he  looks  down  the  skylight  of  the  house  next  door, 
and  there  sees  Pleusicles  and  Philocomasium  conversing  and  toying  with  each 
other.     When  this  has  been  discovered  to  be  the  case,  a  plan  is  arranged, 
by  which   Sceledrus   shall   not   only  not  divulge  to  the  Captain  what  he 
lias  seen,  but  shall  even  be  made  to  believe  that  he  has  not  actually  seen 
it  himself.     Palsestrio,  therefore,  persuades  him  that  the  twin-sister  of  Philoco- 
masium has  arrived  at  Ephesus,  and  with  her  lover  is  staying  at  their  neigh- 
bour's house.     To  forward  their  designs,  Palsestrio  then  invents  another  plan. 
He  persuades  the  Captain  to  believe  that  the  wife  of  his  neighbour,  Peripleco- 
menus, is  in  love  with  him.     Through  his  agency,  a  Courtesan,  named  Acrote- 
ltutium,  pretends  that  she  is  the  wife  so  desperately  in  love  with  the  Captain. 
He  believes  this  story,  and,  that  he  may  the  more  conveniently  receive  her  in 
his  house,  by  the  advice  of  Palsestrio,  he  sends  Philocomasium  away,  and  gives 
her  into  the  charge  of  Pleusicles,  who  is  disguised  in  the  dress  of  a  master  of  a 
.ship.    They  go  to  the  harbour  and  set  sail,  accompanied  by  Palsestrio,  whcm 
the  Captain  has  given  to  Philocomasium  at  her  request.     The  Captain,  then,  at 
the  invitation  of  the  maid  of  Acroteleutium,  goes  to  the  house  next  door,  to  visit 
her  mistress.     On  this,  Periplecomenus,  with  his  servants,  sallies  forth  upon 
him,  and,  having  first  threatened  to  cut  him  in  pieces,  and  then  having  beaten 
and  stripped  him,  they  let  him  go,  after  they  have  exacted  from  him  a  confession 
that  he  has  been  rightly  served,  and  a  promise  that  he  will  molest  no  one  in  re- 
turn  for  the  treatment  he  has  received. 


MILES  GLORIOSUS; 
THE    BRAGGART   CAPTAIN. 


THE  ACROSTIC  ARGUMENT. 

[Supposed  to  have  been  written  by  Priscian,  the  Grammarian.] 

A  Captain  carries  off  to  Ephesus  a  Courtesan  (Meretricem)  from  Athens.  While 
his  servant  is  intending  to  tell  this  (Id)  to  his  master,  her  lover,  who  is  an  Am- 
bassador (Legato)  abroad,  he  himself  is  captured  at  sea,  and  (Ei)  is  given  as  a 
present  to  the  same  Captain.  The  servant  sends  for  his  (Suum,  master  from 
Athens,  and  cleverly  makes  a  hole  in  the  party  wall,  common  to  the  two  (G'e- 
minis)  houses,  that  it  may  be  possible  (Liceret)  for  the  two  lovers  secretly  to 
meet.  Wandering  about  (Oberrans),  her  keeper  sees  them  from  the  tiles,  but 
he  is  played  a  trick  (Ridiculis)  upon,  as  though  it  were  another  person. 
Palajstrio,  too,  as  well  (Item)  persuades  the  Captain  to  have  his  mistress  dis- 
missed (Omissavi),  since  the  wife  of  the  old  man  (Senis),  his  neighbour,  wishet 
to  marry  him.  He  begs  that  she  will  go  away  of  her  own  accord  (Ultro),  and 
gives  her  many  things.  He,  himself,  caught  in  the  house  of  the  old  man 
{Senis),  receives  punishment  as  an  adulterer. 


ACT    THE    FIEST. 

Scene  I. 
Enter  Pyrgopoeenices1,  Artotrogus,  and  Soldiers. 
Pyrg.  Take  ye  care  that  the  lustre  of  my  shield  is  more 

1  Pyrgopolinices)  The  literal  meaning  of  the  name  of  the  swaggering  Captaii. 
is  "  the  much-conquering  tower,"  or  something  similar.  "  Artotrogus"  means 
"  bread-eater."  The  word  "  Parasite"  properly  denotes  "  one  person  who  dines 
with  another."  The  name  was  originally  given  to  persons  who  were  assistants  to 
the  priests  and  high  magistrates,  and,  consequently,  had  a  respectable  signifi- 
cation. The  hangers-on,  who  are  called  u  Parasites"  by  the  Comic  writers  of 
Greece  and  Rome,  first  received  that  name  from  Alexis,  the  Greek  Comedian.  It 
nas  been  well  remarked,  that  their  chief  characteristics  were  "  importunity,  love 
of  sensual  pleasures,"  and  "  the  desire  of  getting  a  good  dinner  without  paying  for 
it."  They  may  be  subdivided  into  the  jesting,  the  officious,  and  the  flattering  Pa- 
rasite (assentator),  of  which  latter  kind  Artotrogus  is  an  admirable  specimen 
From  ancient  writers  we  find  that  it  was  their  method  to  frequent  the  Courts  of 
justice,  market-places,  baths,  places  for  exercise,  and  other  objects  of  public  re- 
sort, with  the  view  of  obtaining  a  dinner,  at  the  price  of  being  the  butt  of  their 
entertainer.  and  cheerfully  submitting  to  the  greatest  humiliations. 


70  MILES  01  ORIOSUS  ;  Act  I 

bright  than  the  rajs  of  the  sun  are  wont  to  be  at  the  time 
when  the  sky  is  clear ;  that  when  occasion  comes,  the  battle 
being  joined,  'mid  the  fierce  ranks  right  opposite  it  may 
dazzle  the  eyesight  of  the  enemy.  But,  I  wish  to  console 
this  sabre  of  mine,  that  it  may  not  lament  nor  be  downcast 
in  spirits,  because  I  have  thus  long  been  wearing  it  keeping 
holiday,  which  so  longs  right  dreadfully  to  make  havoc  of 
the  enemy.     But  where  is  Artotrogus  ? 

Arto.  Here  he  is ;  he  stands  close  by  the  hero,  valiant 
and  successful,  and  of  princely  form.  Mars  could  not  dare 
to  style  himself  a  warrior  so  great,  nor  compare  his  prowess 
with  yours. 

Pyrg.  Him  you  mean  whom  I  spared  on  the  G-orgonido- 
nian1  plains,  where  Bumbomachides  Clytomestoridysarchides, 
the  grandson  of  Neptune,  was  the  chief  commander  ? 

Arto.  I  remember  him ;  him,  I  suppose,  you  mean  with 
the  golden  armour,  whose  legions  you  puffed  away  with  your 
breath  just  as  the  wind  blows  away  leaves  or  the  reed-thatched 
roof. 

Ptrg.  That,  on  my  troth,  was  really  nothing  at  all. 

Arto.  Faith,  that  really  was  nothing  at  all  in  cqmpari- 
son  with  other  things  I  could  mention —  (aside)  which  you 
never  did.  If  any  person  ever  beheld  a  more  perjured  fellow 
than  this,  or  one  more  full  of  vain  boasting,  faith  let  him  have 
me  for  himself,  I'll  resign  myself  for  his  slave ;  if  'tis  not 
the  fact  that2  my  one  mess  of  olive  pottage3  is  eaten  up  by 
me  right  ravenousiy. 

Ptrg.  "Where  are  you  ?     Arto.  Lo  !  here  am  I.     I'  troth 


1  Gorgonidoman) — Vor.  13.  These  three  crackjaw  names  are  coined  by  Plautus 
much  in  the  style  of  the  names  of  the  characters  in  Bombastes  Furioso.  They 
are  mere  gibberish,  though  the  two  latter  are  derived  from  Greek  or  Latin  words ; 
the  first  of  which  signifies  "  a  son  of  a  tighter  at  the  sound  of  the  trumpet.-' 

2  'Tis  not  the  fact  that)—Ver.  24.  This  line  is  read  m  many  different  ways,  and 
is  evidently  in  a  most  corrupt  state.  Eitschel  suggests,  "  Unum  epityrum  aput 
ilium  estur  insane  bene,"  which  we  follow  as  nearly  as  is  consistent  with  the 
English  idiom. 

3  Mess  of  olive  pottage) — Ver  24.  "  Epityrum"  was  the  name  of  a  dish  much 
used  by  the  people  of  Sicily,  who  ate  it  together  with  cheese.  We  learn  from 
Cato  (on  Rural  Matters),  that  it  was  made  of  various  kinds  of  olives  mincod  up,  ami 
mixed  with  oil,  vinegar,  coriander,  cummin,  fennel,  rue,  and  mint,  and  then  pre- 
served in  jars. 


Sc.  1.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  71 

in  what  a  fashion  it  was  you  broke  the  fore-leg1  of  even  an 
elephant,  in  India,  with  your  fist. 

Pyrg.  How  ? — the  fore-leg  ?  Arto.  I  meant  to  say  this 
— the  thigh. 

Pyrg.  I  struck  the  blow  without  an  effort. 

Arto.  Troth,  if,  indeed,  you  had  put  forth  your  strength^ 
your  arm  would  have  passed  right  through  the  hide,  the 
entrails,  and  the  frontispiece  of  the  elephant. 

Pyrg.  I  don't  care  for  these  things  just  now. 

Arto.  I'  faith,  'tis  really  not  worth  the  while  for  you 
to  tell  me  of  it,  who  know  right  well  your  prowess.  (Aside.) 
'Tis  my  appetite  creates3  all  these  plagues.  1  must  hear  him 
right  out  with  my  ears,  that  my  teeth  mayn't  have  time3  to 
grow,  and  whatever  lie  he  shall  tell,  to  it  I  must  agree. 

Pyrg.  What  was  it  I  was  saying  ? 

Arto.  0,  I  know  what  you  were  going  to  say  just  now. 
I'  faith  'twas  bravely  done  ;  I  remember  its  being  done. 

Pyrg.  What  was  that  ?  Arto.  Whatever  it  was  you  were 
going  to  say. 

Pyrg.  Have  you  got  your  tablets4  ?  Arto.  Are  you  in- 
tending to  enlist5  ?     I  have  them,  and  a  pen  as  well. 

1  Thefore-leg) — Ver.  26.  "  Brachium"  is  supposed  by  some  to  mean  "  the  trunk" 
of  the  elephant ;  but  it  seems  more  probable  that  it  here  means  "  the  fore-leg." 

2  My  appetite  creates) — Ver.  33.  He  now  addresses  the  Spectators,  and  honestly 
confesses  why  he  is  a  Parasite. 

3  Mayn't  have  time) — Ver.  34.  "  Dentes  dentire"  is  that  which  we  call "  teething. ' 
He  says  that  he  acts  the  flatterer  that  his  teeth  may  not  have  time  to  grow 
through  want  of  employment. 

4  Got  your  tablets) — Ver.  38.  The  "  tabula?,"  or  "  tabella?,"  used  by  the  ancienti 
for  the  purpose  of  writing,  were  pieces  of  wood,  mostly  of  an  oblong  shape,  covered 
with  wax,  on  which  an  impression  was  made  with  the  "  stylus,"  or  iron  pen.  They 
were  sometimes  made  of  ivory,  but  more  frequently  of  citron-wood,  beech,  or  fir 
The  inside  only  of  the  tablet  was  covered  with  wax,  the  outer  consisting  of  wood. 
The  leaves  were  fastened  at  the  back  with  wires,  and  opened  and  shut  like  the 
books  of  the  present  day.  There  was  a  raised  margin  to  each  leaf  of  the  tablet, 
for  the  purpose  of  preventing  the  wax  of  the  one  from  rubbing  against  the  other. 
From  two  to  five,  six,  or  even  more  of  these  leaves  were  joined  together,  which 
were  accordingly  called  "  diptycha,"  "  triptycha,"  and  so  on.  Those  tablets  which 
contained  legal  documents  were  pierced  through  the  outer  edges  with  holes, 
through  which  a  triple  thread  or  string  was  passed,  on  which  a  seal  was  placed, 
in  order  to  prevent  forgery  and  to  show  that  the  deed  was  duly  executed. 

s  Intending  to  enlist) — Ver.  36.  "  Rogare."  Soldiers,  when  enlisted,  were  asked 
(rogabantur)  whether  they  would  take  the  oath.   Hence  the  word  "  rogare"  means 


72  MILES  GLORIOSTTS  ;  Act  1. 

Pyrg.  How  cleverly  you  do  suit  your  mind  to  my  own  mind. 

Arto.  'Tis  fit  that  I  should  know  your  inclinations  stu- 
diously, so  that  whatever  you  wish  should  first  occur1  to  me. 

Pyrg.  What  do  you  remember  ?  Arto.  I  do  remember 
this.  In  Cilicia  there  were  a  hundred  and  fifty  men,  a  hundred 
in  Cryphiolathronia2,  thirty  at  Sardis,  sixty  men  of  Macedon, 
whom  you  slaughtered  altogether  in  one  day. 

Pyrg.  What  is  the  sum  total  of  those  men  ? 

A.rto.  Seven  thousand.  Pyrg.  It  must  be  as  much  :  you 
keep  the  reckoning  well. 

Arto.  Yet  I  have  none  of  them  written  down ;  still,  so  I  re- 
member it  was. 

Pyrg.  By  my  troth,  you  have  a  right  good  memory. 

Arto.  {aside).  'Tis  the  flesh-pots3  give  it  a  fillip. 

Pyrg.  So  long  as  you  shall  do  such  as  yon  have  done 
hitherto,  you  shall  always  have  something  to  eat :  I  will 
always  make  you  a  partaker  at  my  table. 

Arto.  Besides,  in  Cappadocia,  you  would  have  killed  five 
hundred  men  altogether  at  one  blow,  had  not  your  sabre 
been  blunt. 

Pyrg.  I  let  them  live,  because  I  was  quite  sick  of  fighting. 

Arto.  Why  should  I  tell  you  what  all  mortals  know,  that 
you,  Pyrgopolinices,  live  alone  upon  the  earth,  with  valour, 
beauty,  and  achievements  most  unsurpassed  ?  All  the  women 
are  in  love  with  you,  and  that  not  without  reason,  since  you 
are  so  handsome.  Witness  those  girls  that  pulled  me  by  my 
mantle  yesterday. 

Pyrg.  What  was  it  they  said  to  you? 

Arto.  They  questioned  me  about  you.  "  Is  Achilles  here  ?" 
says  one  to  me.  "  No,"  says  I,  "  his  brother  is."  Then 
says  the  other  to  me :  "  By  my  troth,  but  he  is  a  handsome 

something  tantamount  to  our  word  "  enlist,"  or  "  recruit."  The  Parasite  asks  him 
if  he  is  going  to  enlist,  as  the  tablets  would  be  wanted  in  the  "  Forum,"  or  "  Court 
of  justice,"  for  tbe  purpose  of  taking  down  the  oaths,  and  entering  the  names  as 
the  parties  were  sworn. 

1  Should  first  occur) — Ver.  41.  "Prsevolat  mihi."  Literally,  "should  fly  to 
me  beforehand." 

2  Cryphiolathronia) — Ver.  43.  This  word  is  mere  gibberish :  it  is  compounded 
of  Greek  words,  which  would  make  it  to  mean  "  the  place  of  hidden  secrecy."  The 
part  of  the  flatterer  seems  to  be  a  little  overdone  here. 

3  'Tis  the  Jlesh-pots) — Ver.  49.  "  Offae  monent."  "  Offa"  properly  means  "a 
lump  of  flesh,"  from  which  it  came  to  signify  "  victuals"  in  general. 


SC.  T.  1IIE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  73 

and  a  noble  man.  See  how  his  long  hair  becomes  him. 
Certainly  the  women  are  lucky  who  share  his  favours." 

Ptrg.  And  pray,  did  they  really  say  so  ? 

Arto.  They  both  entreated  me  to  bring  you  past  to-day 
by  way  of  a  sight1  to  them. 

Ptrg.  'Tis  really  a  very  great  plague  to  be  too  handsome 
a  man. 

Arto.  They  are  quite  a  nuisance  to  me  ;  they  are  praying, 
entreating,  beseeching  me,  to  let  them  see  you ;  bidding  me 
be  fetched  to  them ;  so  that  I  can't  give  my  attention  to  your 
business. 

Pyrg.  It  seems  that  it  is  time  for  us  to  go  to  the  Forum, 
that  I  may  count  out  their  pay  to  those  soldiers  whom  I  have 
enlisted  of  late.  For  King  Seleucus^  entreated  me  with 
most  earnest  suit  that  I  would  raise  and  enlist  recruits  for 
him.  To  that  business  have  I  resolved  to  devote  my  attention 
this  day. 

Arto.  Come,  let's  be  going  then.  Pyrg.  Guards,  follow 
me.  {Exeunt. 


ACT    THE    SECOND. 
Scene  I. 

THE  PROLOGUE. 
Enter  Pal^strio3. 
Pal.  To  tell  the  subject  of  this  our  play,  I  have  all 
willingness,  if  you  will  but  have  the  kindness  to  listen  to  it. 
But  he  who  does  not- wish  to  listen,  let  him  arise  and  go 
out,  that  there  may  be  room  where  he  may  sit  who  does  wish 
to  listen.  Now  I  will  disclose  to  you  both  the  subject  and  the 
name  of  the  play  which  we  are  just  now  about  to  act,  and  for 

1  By  way  of  a  sight) — Ver.  67.  "  Psmpam."  Strictly  speaking,  this  word  means 
M  the  escort  of  a  procession,"  whence  it  came  to  signify  the  "procession"  itself. 

2  Seleucus) — Ver.  75.  The  King  of  that  part  of  Asia  Minor  where  Ephesus  was 
situate. 

3  Palcestrio)  As  the  Prologue  of  the  play  commences  with  the  Second  Act, 
it  may  appear  to  be  misplaced ;  but  it  really  is  properly  placed  here,  as  the  pre- 
ceding act  is  introductory,  and  has  nothing  to  do  with  the  plot,  being  void  of  inci- 
dent. Its  purpose  is  to  acquaint  us  with  the  character  of  the  Captain,  who  is  U 
be  duped  and  punished  in  the  piece  according  to  his  desert* 


74  MILES  GT.OKIOSUS  ;  Act.  II. 

the  sake  of  which  you  are  now  seated  in  this  mirthful  place1. 
"  Alazon"  is  the  name5,  in  Greek,  of  this  Comedy ;  the  same 
we  call  in  Latin,  "the  Braggart"  (G-loriosus).  This  city  is 
Ephesus ;  then,  the  Captain,  my  master,  who  has  gone  oft 
hence  to  the  Forum,  a  bragging,  impudent,  stinking  fellow, 
brimful  of  lying  and  lasciviousness,  says  that  all  the  women 
are  following  him  of  their  own  accord.  Wherever  he  goes,  he 
is  the  laughing-stock  of  all;  and  so,  the  Courtesans  here — since 
they  make  wry  mouths  at  him,  you  may  see  the  greater  part 
of  them  with  lips  all  awry.  I  wish  you  now  to  know  this, 
how  I  came  to  be  his  slave,  from  him  to  whom  I  was  servant 
before ;  for  'tis  not  long  that  I  have  been  in  slavery  to  him. 
Give  your  attention,  for  now  I  will  begin  the  argument.  A 
very  worthy  young  man  at  Athens  was  my  master.  He  was 
in  love  with  a  Courtesan,  brought  up  at  Athens,  in  Attica, 
and  she  on  the  other  hand  loved  him  ;  such  affection  is  most 
worthy  to  be  cherished.  In  the  public  service,  he  was  sent 
to  Naupactus3  as  Ambassador  on  behalf  of  that  mighty 
republic.  In  the  mean  time,  by  chance,  this  Captain 
came  to  Athens.  He  introduced  himself  to  this  lady  of  my 
master,  began  to  cajole  her  mother  with  presents  of  wine, 
trinkets,  and  costly  treats  ;  and  so  the  Captain  made  himself 
on  intimate  terms  with  the  procuress.  As  soon  as  ever  an 
opportunity  was  presented  for  this  Captain,  he  tricked  this 
procuress,  the  mother  of  the  damsel,  whom  my  master  loved. 
For,  unknown  to  her  mother,  he  put  the  daughter  on  board 
ship,  and  carried  this  woman,  against  her  will,  hither '  to 
Ephesus.  Soon  as  I  knew  that  the  lady  of  my  master  was 
carried  off  from  Athens,  as  quickly  as  ever  1  was  able,  I 
procured  for  myself  a  ship :  I  embarked,  that  I  might  carry 
tidings  of  this  matter  to  my  master  at  Naupactum.  "When 
we  had  got  out  to  sea,  some  pirates,  as  they  had  hoped  to  do, 
took  that  ship  on  board  of  which  I  was  ;  thus  I  was  undone 
before  I  reached  my  master,  for  whom  I  had  commenced  to 
proceed  on  my  voyage.     He  that  took  me,  gave  me  as  a  pre- 

1  This  mirthful  place) — Ver.  83.  He  alludes  to  the  theatres,  where  scenic  re- 
presentations took  place  on  public  festivals. 

2  Alazon  is  the  name) — Ver.  86.  'AXa^W,  "  the  boaster,"  he  says,  was  the 
Greek  name  of  the  play.  It  is  not  known  who  was  the  Greek  author  from  whors 
Plautus  took  this  play,  which  is  one  of  his  best. 

3  Naupactus)—Yer.  102.  This  was  a  city  situate  on  the  sea-coast  of  ^Etclb. 


iSc.  1.  THE  P.RAGGAET  CAPTAIN".  75 

sent  to  this  same  Captain.  After  he  had  taken  me  home  to 
his  own  house,  I  saw  there  that  favorite  of  my  master  who 
lived  at  Athens.  When,  on  the  other  hand,  she  perceived  me, 
she  gave  me  a  sign  with  her  eyes  not  to  address  her  by  name. 
Afterwards,  when  there  was  an  opportunity,  the  damsel  com- 
plained to  me  of  her  hard  fate.  She  said  that  she  wished  to 
escape  to  Athens  from  this  house,  that  she  was  attached  to  him, 
that  master  of  mine  who  lived  at  Athens,  and  that  she  had 
never  hated  any  one  more  thoroughly  than  this  same  Captain. 
As  I  discovered  the  feelings  of  the  damsel,  I  took  tablets, 
sealed  them  in  private,  and  gave  them  to  a  certain  merchant 
to  carry  to  him  (my  master,  I  mean,  who  was  at  Athens,  and 
who  had  so  loved  her),  in  order  that  he  might  come  hither. 
He  did  not  slight  the  message,  for  he  both  is  come,  and  is 
lodging  here  next  door,  with  his  host,  a  friend  of  his  father's, 
a  nice  old  man.  He,  too,  gives  every  assistance  to  his  guest 
in  his  amour,  and  encourages  and  seconds  us  with  his  help  and 
his  advice.  Therefore,  here  (pointing  to  the  Captain's  house), 
in-doors,  I  have  found  a  grand  contrivance,  by  which  to  cause 
these  lovers,  each,  to  meet  the  other.  For  one  room,  which  the 
Captain  gave  to  his  mistress  for  no  one  but  herself  to  set  foot 
in,  in  that  same  room  I  have  dug  a  hole  through  the  party- 
wall,  in  order  that  there  may  secretly  be  an  ingress  for  the 
damsel  from  the  one  house  to  the  other.  And  this  I  have 
done  with  the  knowledge  of  the  old  gentleman  ;  'twas  he  that 
gave  the  advice.  But  my  fellow-servant,  whom  the  Captain  has 
given  as  a  keeper  to  his  mistress,  is  a  person  of  no  great  worth. 
By  clever  contrivances  and  ingenious  devices,  we  will  throw 
dust1  in  his  eyes,  and  we  will  make  him  so  as  not  to  see  what 
he  really  does  see.  And  that  you  may  not  hereafter  make 
mistakes,  this  damsel  to-day,  in  this  house  and  in  that,  will 
perform  in  turn  a  double  part,  and  will  be  the  same,  but  will 
pretend  to  be  another,  person.  Thus  will  the  keeper  of  the 
damsel  be  gulled.     But  there  is  a  noise2  at  the  door  here  of 

.  l  We  will  throw  dust) — Ver.  148.  "  Glaucomam  objiciemus ;"  literally,  "  we 
will  throw  a  malady  in  his  eyes."  M  Glaucoma"  was  a  disease  of  the  crys- 
talline humours  of  the  eye. 

2  There  is  a  noise) — Ver.  154.  The  street  doors  of  the  ancients  consisted  of 
olding-doors,  whence  the  plural  form,  "  fores."  These  opened  outward  into  the 
street,  and  not,  like  those  of  modern  times,  within.  For  this  reason,  when  any 
person  was  coming  out,  it  was  customary  for  him  to  give  warning  by  making  a 
noise  with  his  knuckles  or  a  stick  on  the  inside  } 


7G  MILES  GLOKTOSUS  ;  Act.  Ill 

the  old  gentleman,  our  neighbour.  'Tis  himself  coming  out ; 
'tis  he,  the  nice  old  man  that  I  was  speaking  of.  (He  retires 
to  a  distance.) 


Sce^e  II. 
Enter  Periplecomenus  from  his  house. 

Perip.  (speaking  to  his  servants  within).  Faith,  if  you 
don't  in  future  smash  his  ankle-bones  for  any  stranger  that 
you  see  on  ma  tiles,  I  will  cut  you  so  with  lashes  as  to 
make  thongs  of  your  sides.  My  neighbours,  i'  faith,  are  over- 
lookers of  what  is  going  on  in  my  own  house ;  so  often  are 
they  peeping  down  through  the  skylight1.  And  now,  there- 
fore, I  give  you  all  notice,  whatever  person  of  this  Captain's 
household  you  shall  see  upon  our  tiles,  except  Palaestrio  only, 
push  him  headlong  here  into  the  street.  Suppose  he  says  that 
he  is  following  some  hen,  or  pigeon,  or  monkey  ;  woe  be  to  you. 
if  you  don't  badly  maul  the  fellow  even  to  death.  And  so,  that 
they  may  commit  no  infringement  against  the  laws  of  dice2. 

1  Through  the  skylight) — Ver.  159.  The  "  atrium,"  or  middle  hall,  of  the  houses 
of  the  Romans  was  a  large  apartment,  roofed  over,  with  the  exception  of  an 
opening  in  the  centre,  which  was  called  "  impluvium,"  or  "  compluvium,"  towards 
which  the  roof  sloped,  so  as  to  throw  the  rain-water  down  through  pipes  into  a 
cistern  below.  Vitruvius  says  that  the  "  impluvium"  was  from  a  fourth  to  a 
third  of  the  size  of  the  "  atrium,"  or  hall  below.  It  was  probably  glazed,  and 
thus  would  form  a  sort  of  sloping  skylight.  In  the  present  instance,  it  would 
seem  to  have  overlooked  the  upper  chamber,  into  which  Philocomasium  passed 
through  the  wall  of  the  next  house,  to  meet  Pleusicles. 

2  The  laws  of  dice) — Ver.  164.  Commentators  are  much  divided  as  to  what  is 
the  meaning  here  of  "  lex  alearia,"  or,  as  some  editions  have  it  "  lex  talaria.'" 
Some  suppose  that  it  simply  means  "  the  rules  of  the  game  with  the  '  tali,'  or 
1  dice ;' "  while  others  think  that  Plautus  alludes  to  some  recent  enactment  at 
Rome  against  games  of  chance.  Such  laws  were  repeatedly  promulgated,  but  im- 
mediately became  a  mere  dead  letter.  "  Talus"  means  either  a  person's  "ankle- 
bone,"  or  the  "  knuckle-bone"  of  an  animal,  which  latter  was  marked  with  numbers 
on  four  sides,  and  used  by  the  Greeks  and  Romans  in  sets  of  four  for  the  purpose 
of  dice.  The  old  man  puns  on  the  two  meanings,  and  says,  "  I'll  take  care  that 
your  '  tali '  (or  ankle-bones)  are  broken,  so  that"  (if  we  adopt  the  first  meaning) 
"  you  shall  not  cheat  at  dice  in  future,"  or  (if  we  take  the  second  interpretation) 

'you  shall  not  have  an  opportunity  of  infringing  the  public  laws."  "  Simia," 
which  is  translated  ';  monkey,"  is,  strictly  speaking,  "  a  ahe-ape;"  probably  a  pre- 
sent from  the  Captain  to  Philocomasium. 


8c.  11.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  77 

do  you  take  good  care  that  they  keep  holiday  at  home  with- 
out any  ankle-bones  at  all. 

Pal.  (aside).  Something  amiss, — what,  I  know  not,  has  been 
done  him  by  our  family  so  far  as  I  can  hear,  inasmuch  as  the 
old  man  has  ordered  the  ankles  of  my  fellow-servants  to  be 
broken.  But  he  has  excepted  me ;  nothing  care  I  what  he 
does  to  the  rest  of  them.  I'll  accost  the  old  man.   (Advances.) 

Perip.  The  person  that  is  coming  this  way,  is  he  coming 
towards  me  ?     He  comes  as  if  he  was  coming  to  me. 

Pal.  How  do  you  do,  Periplecomenus  ? 

Perip.  There  are  not  many  men,  if  I  were  to  wish,  whom 
a  would  rather  now  see  and  meet  with  than  yourself. 

Pal.  What's  the  matter?  "What  disturbance  have  you 
with  our  family? 

Perip.  We  are  done  for.      Pal.  What's  the  matter? 

Perip.  The  thing's  discovered.  Pal.  What  thing's  dis- 
covered? 

Perip.  Some  one  just  now  of  your  household  was  looking 
in  from  the  tiles  through  our  skylight  at  Philocomasium  and 
my  guest  as  they  were  toying  together. 

Pal.  What  person  saw  it  ? 

Perip.  Your  fellow-servant.     Pal.  Which  person  was  it  ? 

Perip.  I  don't  know ;  he  took  himself  off  so  suddenly — in 
an  instant. 

Pal.  I  suspect  I'm  ruined.  Perip.  When  he  went  away, 
I  cried:  "Hallo!  you  sir!"  said  I,  "what  are  you  doing 
upon  the  tiles  ?"  As  he  went  away  he  replied  to  me  in  these 
terms,  that  he  was  following  a  strayed  monkey. 

Pal.  Woe  to  wretched  me !  that  I  must  be  ruined  for  a  worth- 
less beast.    But  is  Philocomasium  there  with  you  even  still  ? 

Perip.  When  I  came  out,  she  was  there. 

Pal.  If  she  is,  then  bid  her  return  to  our  house  as  soon  as 
ever  she  can,  that  the  servants  may  see  that  she  is  at  home ; 
unless,  indeed,  she  wishes  that  we,  who  are  slaves,  her  fellow- 
slaves1,  should  all  be  given  up  together  to  tortures  by  the 
cross  on  account  of  her  courting. 

1  Her  fellow-slaves) — Ver.  184.  He  seems  to  use  the  word  "  contubemales," 
"  comrades,"  or  "  fellow-slaves,"  as  applying  to  the  relation  between  Philocoma- 
sium and  the  other  slaves  in  the  house ;  since,  falling  into  the  hands  of  the  Captain, 
she  had  become  reduced  to  the  condition  of  a  slave.  The  cross  was  the  instrumenl 


78  MILES  GLORTOSUS  ;  Act.  II 

Perip.  I  bade  her  do  so ;  unless  you  would  aught  else. 

Pal.  I  would.  Tell  her  this :  that,  by  my  troth,  she  must 
not  hesitate  at  all  to  bring  in  play  her  skill  and  cleverness. 

Perip.  In  what  way  ?  Pal.  That  by  her  words  she  may 
persuade  him  who  saw  her  here  at  your  house,  that  he  did  not 
see  her.  Should  he  accuse  her,  on  the  other  hand  let  her 
convince  him  with  her  oath.  Even  though  she  were  seen  a 
hundred  times  over,  still  let  her  deny  it.  {Aside.)  For,  if 
she  is  at  all  inclined  to  ill,  a  woman  never  goes  begging1  to 
the  gardener  for  material,  she  has  a  garden  at  home  and  a 
stock  of  her  oton  for  all  mischievous  contrivances ;  at  home 
she  has  impudence2,  a  lying  tongue,  perfidiousness,  malice, 
and  boldness,  self-conceit,  assurance,  and  deceitfulness, — at 
home  she  has  wiles, — at  home  captivating  contrivances, — 
stratagems  at  home. 

Pebip.  I'll  tell  her  this,  if  she  shall  be  in-doors  here  {point- 
ing to  his  Jz9use).  But  what  is  it,  Palaestrio,  that  you  are 
considering  with  yourself  in  your  mind? 

Pal.  Be  silent  a  moment,  while  I  am  calling  a  council  in  my 
mind,  and  while  I  am  considering  what  I  am  to  do,  what  plan 
I  must  contrive,  on  the  other  hand,  as  a  match  for  my  crafty 
fellow- servant,  who  has  seen  her  billing  here  in  your  house  ; 
so  that  what  was  seen  may  not  have  been  seen. 

Perip.  Do  contrive  one ;  in  the  meantime,  I'll  retire  hence 
to  a  distance  from  you,  to  this  spot.  {He  retires  to  a  distance.) 
Look  at  him,  please  {to  the  Audience),  revolving  his  cares 
with  brow  severe,  how  he  stands.  He  strikes  his  breast  with  his 

of  a  punishment  among  the  Romans,  which  was  especially  inflicted  upon  slaves.  It 
was  usually  in  shape  like  the  let  er  T  or  X,  but  there  were  various  other  forms  of  it. 
The  condemned  carried  his  own  cross,  and,  being  first  stripped,  was  either  nailed 
or  bound  to  it,  and  in  the  latter  ase  was  generally  left  to  die  of  hunger.  It  must 
be  remembered  that  in  the  time  of  the  Roman  Republic  the  laws  did  not  protect 
the  person  or  life  of  the  slaves,  who  were  sometimes  very  barbarously  treated. 

1  Never  goes  begging) — Ver.  1  0.  He  uses  a  rather  out-of-the-way  simile  here ; 
he  means,  to  say,  "  a  woman  npver  needs  to  go  to  a  gardener's,  who  has  a 
garden  of  her  own,  with  a  most  plentiful  stock  of  artfulness,"  &c.  Some  Com- 
mentators fancy  that  he  means  literally  to  say  that  women  have  always  at  hand 
plenty  of  poisonous  plants  for  the  purposes  of  mischief,  and  that  they  need  not  the 
assistance  of  the  gardener  or  nurseryman  when  they  wish  to  carry  out  their 
designs.     Such  an  interpretafcji  jesmj,  however,  to  be  very  far-fetched. 

8  Impudence) — Ver.  192.  '•  Os;''  literally,"  "  face;  similar  to  a  common  express 
kou  in  use  with  us. 


Sc.  II.  THE  P.KAGGAET  CAPTAIN.  79 

fingers  ;  I  fancy  he's  about  to  call  his  heart  outride.  See}  he 
shifts  his  posture  ;  again  he  places  his  left  hand  upon  his  left 
thigh.  His  right  hand  is  reckoning  clown  his  plans  upon  his 
fingers;  in  despair  he  strikes  his  thigh.  His  right  hand  is 
moving  rapidly1 ;  with  difficulty  does  it  suggest  what  he  is  to  do. 
He  snapshis  fingers  now;  he's  striving  hard;  full  oft  he  changes 
his  position.  But  see  how  he  shakes  his  head;  it  pleases 
him  not  what  he  has  hit  upon.  Whatever  it  is,  nothing 
crude  will  he  bring  forth,  something  well-digested  will  he  pro- 
duce. But  see,  he  is  building ;  he  has  placed  his  hand  as  a 
pillar3  beneath  his  chin.  Have  done  with  it !  in  truth,  this 
mode  of  building  pleases  me  not ;  for  I  have  heard  say  that  the 
head  of  a  foreign  Poet3  is  wont  to  be  supported  thus,  over 
whom  two  guards  are  ever  at  all  hours  keeping  wratch.  Bravo ! 
how  becomingly  he  stands, — i'  faith,  how  like  a  very  slave4, 
and  how  faithful  to  his  part.  Never,  this  day,wrill  he  rest,  before 
he  has  completed  that  which  he  is  in  search  of.  He  has  it,  I 
suspect.  Come — to  the  business  you're  about :  keep  wide 
awake,  think  not  of  sleep ;  unless,  indeed,  you  wish  to  be 
keeping  your  watch  here  all  checquered  o'er  with  stripes. 
"lis  I,  that  am  talking  to  you ;  schemer,  don't  you  know  that 
I  am  speaking  to  you?  Palaestrio !  awake,  I  say;  arouse 
yourself,  I  say ;  'tis  daylight  now,  I  say. 

Pal.  I  hear  you.     Perip.  Don't  you  see  that  the  enemy 

1  Is  moving  rapidly) — Ver.  201  "  Mico"  strictly  means,  "  to  have  a  tremulous 
motion  imparted."  "  Micare  digitis"  properly  meant  "  to  play  at  a  game  called 
'  mora,'  "  in  which  two  persons  suddenly  raised  or  compressed  the  fingers,  and  at 
the  same  moment  each  guessed  the  number  of  the  other.  The  expression  also 
means,  "  to  determine  anything  by  suddenly  raising  the  fingers,"  as  who  is  to  do 
or  to  have  anything. 

2  As  a  pillar) — Ver.  209.  He  means  that  Palaestrio  looks  up  in  thought,  while 
his  clenched  hand  is  placed,  as  though  it  were  a  pillar,  beneath  his  chin. 

3  Qf  a  foreign  Poet) — Ver.  211.  "  Barbaro."  The  speaker  being  supposed  to  be 
a  Greek,  and  a  native' of  Ionia,  he  would  speak  of  a  Roman  as  being  "  barbarus." 
It  is  generally  supposed  that  Plautus  here  refers  to  the  Roman  poet  Naevius,  who 
had  a  habit  of  using  this  posture,  and  was,  as  is  thought,  at  that  moment  in 
prison  for  having  offended,  in  one  of  his  Comedies,  the  family  of  the  Metelli.  He 
was  afterwards  liberated  on  having  apologised  in  his  plays  called  itariolus  (the 
Wizard)  and  Leo  (the  Lion).  Periplecomenus  thinks  that  this  posture  bodes  no 
good,  and  is  ominous  of  an  evil  result. 

4  Like  a  very  slave)— Ver.  213.  He  says  that  the  actor  is  well  representing  Uu 
character  of  the  slave.  The  actors  themselves,  as  already  remarked,  were  gene- 
rally slaves  in  the  earlier  times  of  the  Republic. 


SO  MILES  GLORIOSUS  ;  Act.  II. 

is  upon  you,  and  that  siege  is  being  laid  to  yourjjack  ?  Take 
counsel,  then ;  obtain  aid  and  assistance  in  this  matter ;  the 
hastily,  not  the  leisurely,  is  befitting  here.  Get  the  start  of 
them  in  some  way,  and  in  some  direction  this  moment  lead 
around  your  troops.  Close  round  the  enemy  in  siege ;  pre- 
pare the  convoy  for  our  side.  Cut  off  the  enemy's  provision, 
secure  yourself  a  passage,  by  which  supplies  and  provision 
may  be  enabled  in  safety  to  reach  yourself  and  your  forces. 
Look  to  this  business  ;  the  emergency  is  sudden.  Invent — 
contrive — this  instant  give  us  some  clever  plan ;  so  that  that 
which  has  been  seen  here  within,  may  not  have  been  seen ; 
that  which  has  been  done,  may  not  have  been  done.  There, 
my  man,  you  undertake  a  great  enterprise ;  lofty  the  defences  . 
which  you  erect.  If  you  yourself  alone  but  say  you  under- 
take this,  I  have  a  certainty  that  we  are  able  to  rout  our 
foes. 

Pal.  I  do  say  so,  and  I  do  undertake  it. 
Perip.  And  I  do  pronounce  that  you  shall  obtain  that 
which  you  desire. 

Pal.  May  Jupiter  kindly  bless  you  then  ! 
Perip.  But,  friend,  do  you  impart  to  me  the  'plan  which 
you  have  devised. 

Pal.  Be  silent,  then,  while  I  am  inducting  you  in  the 
direction  of  my  devices ;  that  you  may  know  as  well  as  my 
own  self  my  plans. 

Perip.  The  same  you  shall  receive  safe  from  the  same 
spot  where  you  have  deposited  them. 

Pal.  My  master  is  surrounded  with  the  hide  of  an  elephant, 
not  his  own,  and  has  no  more  wisdom  than  a  stone. 
Perip.  I  myself  know  the  same  thing. 
Pal.  Now,  thus  I  would  begin  upon  my  plan ;  this  con- 
trivance I  shall  act  upon.  I  shall  say  that  her  other  own 
twin-sister  has  come  here  from  Athens,  with  a  certain  per- 
son, her  lover,  to  Philocomasium,  as  like  to  her  as  milk  is  to 
milk.  I  shall  say  that  they  are  lodged  and  entertained  here 
in  your  house. 

Perip.  Bravo  !  bravo !  cleverly  thought  of.  I  approve  of 
your  device. 

Pal.  So  that,  if  my  fellow-servant  should  accuse  her  be- 
fore the  Captain,  and  say  that  ho  has  seen  her  here  at  your 
house,  toying  with  another  man,  I  shall  assert,  on  the  other 


Sc.  II.  THE  BEAGGAET  CAPTAIN.  81 

hand,  that  my  fellow-servant  has   seen  the  other  one,  the 
sister,  at  your  house,  fondling  and  toying  with  her  own  lover. 

Peeip.  Aye,  most  excellent.  I'll  say  the  same,  if  the 
Captain  shall  inquire  of  me. 

Pal.  But  do  you  say  that  they  are  extremely  alike ;  and 
this  must  be  imparted  in  time  to  Philocomasium,  in  order 
that  she  may  know ;  that  she  mayn't  be  tripping  if  the 
Captain  should  question  her. 

Peeip.  A  very  clever  contrivance.  But  if  the  Captain 
should  wish  to  see  them  both  in  company  together,  what 
shall  we  do  then  ? 

Pal.  That's  easy  enough.  Three  hundred  excuses  may 
be  picked  up — she  is  not  at  home ;  she  has  gone  out  walk- 
ing ;  she  is  asleep  ;  she  is  dressing ;  she  is  bathing ;  she  is 
at  breakfast1 ;  she  is  taking  dessert2  ;  she  is  engaged  ;  she  is 
enjoying  her  rest8 ;  in  fact,  she  can't  come.  There  are  as 
many  of  these  put-offs  as  you  like,  if  I  can  only  persuade  him 
at  the  very  outset  to  believe  that  to.be  true  which  shall  be 
contrived. 

Peeip.  I  like  what  you  say.  Pal.  Go  in-doors  then ;  and 
if  the  damsel's  there,  bid  her  return  home  directly,  and  instruct 
and  tutor  her  thoroughly  in  this  plan,  that  she  may  under- 
stand our  scheme,  as  we  have  begun  it,  about  the  twin-sister. 
Peeip.  I'll  have  her  right  cleverly  tutor'd  for  you.  Is 
there  anything  else  ? 

Pal.  Only,  be  off  in-doors.     Peeip.  I'm  off.      .    {Exit. 

1  Is  at  breakfast) — Ver.  252.  Among  the  Romans  some  began  the  day  with  the 
"  jentaculum,"  which,  however,  was  in  general  confined  to  sick  persons,  the  very 
luxurious,  or  the  labouring  classes.  From  Martial  we  learn  that  it  was  taken 
about  four  in  the  morning,  and  it  can,  therefore,  hardly  have  corresponded  witli 
our  breakfast.  Bread,  with  cheese  or  dried  fruit,  was  used  at  this  meal.  The 
"  prandium,"  which  is  here  translated  "  breakfast,"  is  supposed  to  have  been  a 
hasty  meal,  and  to  have  been  taken  from  twelve  to  one  o'clock  in  the  day. 
Sometimes  it  was  of  simple  character,  while  occasionally  fish,  fruit,  and  wine  formed 
part  of  the  repast,  in  which  latter  case  it  would  almost  correspond  with  the  lun- 
cheon of  modern  times. 

-  She  is  taking  dessert) — Ver.  252.  It  was  the  custom  of  the  Romans,  after  the 
second  course  of  the  "  ccena"  or  "  dinner"  was  taken  away,  to  have  wine  on  the 
table,  and  to  prolong  the  evening  with  conversation ;  perhaps  this  period  is  here 
referred  to  as  furnishing  one  of  the  excuses  to  be  made. 

3  Is  enjoying  her  rest)— Ver.  252.  "  Operse  non  est"  usually  signifies  "she  is  not 
at  leisure,"  i.e.,  "  she  is  busy ;"  but  here  it  is  thought  to  mean  the  reverse,  "  she  is 
not  at  work,"  "  she  is  taking  her  ease,"  and  consequently  cannot  be  disturbed. 

O 


82  MILES  OLOEIOSTTS  ;  Act.  II. 

Scene  III. 

Pal-estrio  alone. 

Pal.  And  I'll  go  home,  too ;  and  I'll  conceal  the  fact 
that  I  am  giving  her  my  aid  in  seeking  out  the  man,  which 
fellow-servant  of  mine  it  was,  that  to-day  was  following  the 
monkey.  For  it  cannot  be  but  in  his  conversation  he  must 
have  made  some  one  of  the  household  acquainted  about  the 
lady  of  his  master,  how  that  he  himself  has  seen  her  next 
door  here  toying  with  some  stranger  spark.  I  know  the 
habit  myself;  "  I  can't  hold  my  tongue  on  that  which  I  know 
alone."  If  I  find  out  the  person  who  saw  it,  I'll  plant 
against  him  all  my  mantelets1  and  covered  works.  The 
material  is  prepared ;  'tis  a  sure  matter  that  I  must  take 
this  person  by  force,  and  by  thus  besieging  him.  If  so  I 
don't  find  the  man,  just  like  a 'hound  I'll  go  smelling  about, 
even  until  I  shall  have  traced  out  the  fox  by  his  track. 
But  our  door  makes  a  noise :  I'll  lower  my  voice ;  for  here 
is  the  keeper  of  Philocomasium,  my  fellow-servant,  coming 
out  of  doors.     {Stands  aside.) 

Scene  IV. 
Enter  ScELEDBUsyrow  the  Captain's  house. 

Scel.  Unless,  in  fact,  I  have  been  walking  this  day  in 
my  sleep  upon  the  tiles,  i'  faith,  I  know  for  sure  that  I 
have  seen  here,  at  our  neighbour's  next  door,  Philocoma- 
sium, the  lady  of  my  master,  on  the  high  road2  to  mischief 
to  herself. 

Pal.  {aside).  'Twas  he  that  saw  her  billing,  so  far  as  I 
have  heard  him  say. 

Scel.  "Who's  that?  Pal.  Tour  fellow-servant.  How 
are  you,  Sceledrus  ? 

1  My  mantelets) — Ver.  266.  "  Vinea"  was  a  contrivance  used  in  warfare,  made  of 
timber  covered  with  raw  hides  to  prevent  its  being  burnt,  under  which  the  assail- 
ants were  sheltered  in  their  attempts  to  scale  the  walls  of  a  fortification.  It 
probably  answered  very  nearly  to  what  is  called  a  u  mantelet,"  in  the  language  of 
fortification.  "  Pluteus"  was  a  similar  engine,  in  the  form  of  a  turret,  and 
moving  on  wheels. 

-  On  the  high  road) — Ver.  274.  "  Sibi  tnalam  rem  quwrjit.1  Literally,  "  a 
seeking  a  bad  job  for  herself." 


Sc.  IT.  T1IE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  83 

Scel.  I  am  glad  that  I  have  met  you,  Palaestrio. 

Pal.  What  now  ?    Or  what's  the  matter  ?    Let  me  know. 

Scel.  I'm  afraid.     Pal.  What  are  you  afraid  of  ? 

Scel.  By  my  troth,  lest,  this  day,  as  many  domestics  a? 
there  are  of  us  here,  we  shall  jump  into  a  most  woful  punish- 
ment by  way  of  torture. 

Pal.  Jump  you  alone,  please ;  for  I  don't  at  all  like  this 
jumping  in1  and  jumping  out. 

Scel.  Perhaps  you  don't  know  what  new  mischance  has 
happened  at  home  ? 

Pal.  What  mischance  is  this  ?     Scel.  A  disgraceful  one. 

Pal.  Do  you  then  keep  it  to  yourself  alone :  don't  tell  it 
me  ;  I  don't  want  to  know  it. 

Scel.  But  I  won't  let  you  not  know  it.  To-day  I  was  fol- 
lowing our  monkey  upon  the  tiles,  next  door  there.  {Points 
to  the  house.) 

Pal.  By  my  troth,  Sceledrus,  a  worthless  fellow,  you  were 
following  a  worthless  beast. 

Scel.  The  Gods  confound  you !  Pal.  That  befits  your- 
self, since  you  began  the  conversation. 

Scel.  By  chance,  as  it  happened,  I  looked  down  there 
through  the  skylight,  into  the  next  house ;  and  there  I  saw 
Philocomasium  toying  with  some  strange  young  man,  I  know 
not  whom. 

Pal.  What  scandalous  thing  is  this  I  hear  of  you,  Sce- 
ledrus ? 

Scel.  I'  faith,  I  did  see  her,  beyond  a  doubt. 

Pal.  What,  yourself?  Scel.  Yes,  I  myself,  with  these 
eyes  of  mine. 

Pal.  Get  away,  it  isn't  likely  what  you  say,  nor  did  you 
see  her. 

Scel.  Do  I,  then,  appear  to  you  as  if  I  were  purblind  ? 

Pal.  'Twere  better  for  you  to  ask  the  doctor  about  that. 
But,  indeed,  if  the  Gods  only  love  you,  don't  you  rashly 
father  this2  idle  story.  Nov?  are  you  breeding  thence  a  fatal 
dilemma  for  your  legs  and  head ;  for,  in  two  ways,  the  cause 

This  jumping  in) — Ver.  280.  Some  critics  think  that  there  is  snme  hidden 

meaning  or  allusion  in  the  words  "  insulturam"  and  "  desulturam."    That  hardly 

seems  to  be  the  case,  for  Palasstrio  might  naturally  say  in  return  to  the  warning 

tf  the  other,  "  I  like  neither  your  jumping  in  nor  your  jumping  out." 

»  Rashly  father  this)— Ver.  293.  "  Tollas  fabulam."   This  metaphor  is  borrowed 

Q'2 


84  miles  gloeiosus  ;  Act.  II. 

is  contrived  for  you  to  be  ruined,  unless  you  put  a  check 
upon  your  foolish  chattering. 

Scel.  But  how,  two  ways?  Pal.  I'll  tell  you.  First 
then,  if  you  falsely  accuse  Philocomasium,  by  that  you  are 
undone ;  in  the  next  place,  if  it  is  true,  having  been  ap- 
pointed her  keeper,  there  you  are  undone. 

Scel.  What  may  happen  to  me,  I  know  not ;  I  know  for 
certain  that  I  did  see  this. 

Pal.  Do  you  persist  in  it,  unfortunate  wretcli  ? 

Scel.  What  would  you  have  me  say  to  you,  but  that  I 
did  see  her  ?  Moreover,  she  is  in  there,  next  door,  at  this 
very  moment. 

Pal.  What !     Isn't  she  at  home  ? 

Scel.  Go  and  see.  Go  in-doors  yourself;  for  I  don't  ask 
now  for  any  confidence  to  be  put  in  me. 

Pal.  I'm  determined  to  do  so.  Scel.  I'll  wait  here  for 
you.     (Pal^steio  goes  into  the  Captain's  house.) 


Scene  V. 

Sceledrus,  alone. 

Scel.  In  this  direction  will  I  be  on  the  watch  for  her,  how 
soon  the  heifer  may  betake  herself  from  the  pasture  this  war 
towards  her  stall.  What  now  shall  I  do  ?  The  Captain 
gave  me  to  her  as  her  keeper.  Now,  if  I  make  a  discovery] 
I'm  undone ;  if  I  am  silent,  still  I  am  undone,  if  this  should 
be  discovered.  What  is  there  more  abandoned  or  more 
daring  than  a  woman  ?  While  I  was  upon  the  tiles,  this 
woman  betook  herself  out  of  doors  from  her  dwelling.  By 
my  troth,  'twas  a  brazen  act  she  did.  If,  now,  the  Captain 
were  to  know  of  this,  i'  faith,  I  believe  he  would  pull  down  the 
whole  entire  house  next  door,  and  me  he  would  send  to  the 
gibbet1.  Whatever  comes  of  it,  i'  faith,  I'll  hold  my  tongue 
rather  than  come  to  a  bad  end.  I  cannot  keep  effectual 
quard  on  a  woman  that  puts  herself  up  for  sale. 

rr^,  ine  custom  among  the  Romans  of  laying  the  new-born  child  upon  the  ground 
uuon  which  it  was  taken  up  (tollebatur)  by  the  father,  or  other  person  who  ia« 
funded  to  stand  in  the  place  of  parent  to  it. 

«  To  the  gibbet)— Ver.  310.  "Crucem."    Literally,  "cross." 


THE  BItAGGAET  CAPTAIN".  85 


Scene  VI. 

llnter  Pal^stbio  from  the  Captain's  house. 

Pal.  Sceledrus,  Sceledrus,  what  one  man  is  there  on 
earth  more  impudent  than  yourself?  Who  more  fhan  your- 
self has  been  born  with  the  Deities  hostile  and  enraged  ? 

Scel.  What's  the  matter?  Pal.  Do  you  want  those 
eyes  of  yours  gouged  out,  with  which  you  see  what  never 
existed  ? 

Scel.  How,  what  never  existed  ?  Pal.  I  would  not  buy 
your  life  at  the  price  of  a  rotten  nut. 

Scel.  Why,  what's  the  matter?  Pal.  What's  the  mat- 
ter, do  you  ask  ? 

Scel.  And  why  shouldn't  I  ask  ?  Pal.  Why  don't  you 
beg  for  that  tongue  of  yours  to  be  cut  out,  that  prates  so  at 
random  ? 

Scel.  Why  should  I  beg  for  that  ? 

Pal.  Why,  Philocomasium  is  there  at  home,  she  whom 
you  were  saying  that  you  had  seen  next  door  kissing  and 
toying  with  another  man. 

Scel.  'Tis  a  wonder  that  you  are  in  the  habit  of  feeding 
on  darnel1,  with  wheat  at  so  low  a  price. 

Pal.  Why  so  ?     Scel.  Because  you  are  so  dim  of  sight. 

Pal.  You  gallows-bird,  'tis  you,  indeed,  that  are  blind, 
with  a  vengeance,  and  not  dim  of  sight ;  for,  sure  enough, 
there  she  is  at  home. 

Scel.  How  ?  At  home  ?  Pal.  At  home,  i'  faith,  un- 
doubtedly. 

Scel.  Be  off  with  you ;  you  are  playing  with  me,  Pakestrio 

Pal.  My  hands  are  dirty,  then.     Scel.  How  so  ? 

Pal.  Because  I  am  playing  with  dirt. 

Scel.  A  mischief  on  your  head.  Pal.  Nay  rather,  Sce- 
ledrus, it  shall   be    on  yours,    I  promise  you,  unless   you 

1  Feeding  on  darnel)— Ver.  321.  Hemeans  to  say  that  his  sight  must  have  failed 
Dim,  and,  by  way  of  accounting  for  it,  that  he  must  have  lived  on  tread  made  of 
darnel.  This  grain  was  supposed  not  only  to  cause  the  person  eating  to  appear  as 
it  intoxicated,  but  very  seriously  to  affect  the  eyesight.  Ovid  says  in  the  Fasti, 
B.  1.,  I.  691,  "  Let  the  fields,  also,  be  clear  of  darnel  that  weakens  the  eye3." 


80  MILES  GLORTOSIJS  ;  Act.  II. 

change  for  fresh  your  eyes  and  your  talk.  But  our  door 
made  a  noise. 

Scel.  Well,  I  shall  watch  here  out  of  doors ;  for  there  is 
no  way  by  which  she  can  pass  hence  in-doors,  except  through 
the  front  door. 

Pal.  Eut  there  she  is,  at  home.  I  don't  know,  Sceledrus, 
what  mischief  is  possessing  you  ? 

Scel.  I  see  for  my  own  self,  I  judge  for  my  own  self,  I 
have  especial  faith  in  my  own  self:  no  man  shall  frighten  me 
out  of  it,  but  that  she  is  in  that  house.  (Points  to  the  house  of 
Periplecomenus.)  Here  I'll  take  my  stand,  that  she  may 
not  steal  out  home  without  my  knowledge. 

Pal.  {aside).  This  fellow  is  in  my  hands  ;  now  will  I  drive 
him  from  his  strong  hold.  (To  Sceledrus.)  Do  you  wish 
me  now  to  make  you  own  that  you  don't  see  correctly  ? 

Scel.  Come,  do  it  then.  Pal.  And  that  you  neither 
think  aright  in  your  mind,  nor  yet  make  use  of  your  eyes  ? 

Scel.  I'd  have  you  do  it.  Pal.  Do  you  say,  then,  that 
the  lady  of  your  master  is  there  in  that  house  ? 

Scel.  I  assert,  as  well,  that  I  saw  her  here  in  this  house 
(points  to  the  house  of  Periplecomenus),  toying  with  a 
strange  man. 

Pal.  Don't  you  know  that  there  is  no  communication 
between  our  house  here  and  that  one  ? 

Scel.  I  know  it.  Pal.  Neither  by  the  terrace1,  nor  by 
the  garden,  only  through  the  skylight  ? 

Scel.  I  know  it.  Pal.  What  then,  if  she  is  now  at  home  ? 
If  I  shall  make  her,  so  as  you  may  see  her,  come  out  hence 
from  our  house,  are  you  not  deserving  of  many  a  lashing  ? 

Scel.  I  am  so  deserving.  Pal.  Watch  that  door,  then, 
that  she  may  not  privily  betake  herself  out  thence  without 
vour  knowledge  and  pass  here  into  our  house. 

Scel.  'Tis  my  intention  to  do  so.  Pal.  Upon  her  feet2 
will  I  place  her  this  moment  here  before  you  in  the  street. 

Scel.  Come,  then,  and  do  so.  (Pal^strio  goes  into  the 
Captain's  house.) 

1  By  the  terrace) — Ver.  340.  "  Solarium"  was  either  a  balcony  or  terrace  before 
a  house,  or  on  the  top  of  it,  which  was  exposed  to  the  sun.  People  walked  there  in 
the  cool  of  the  evening.  It  was  from  a  "  solarium"  that  David  first  saw  Batb- 
sheba. 

2  Upon  her  feet)— -Ver.  344.  Lindemann  thinks  that  "  pede"  here  means  "upon 


Sc.  Vlll.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  87 

Scene  VII. 

SCELEDRUS  alone. 

Scel.  I  wish  to  know,  whether  I  did  see  that  which  I  did 
see,  or  whether  he  can  do  that  which  he  says  he  can  do — 
make  her  to  be  at  home.  For,  really,  I  have  eyes  of  mv 
own,  and  I  don't  ask  to  borrow  them  out  of  doors.  But 
this  fellow  is  for  ever  fawning  about  her ;  he  is  always  near 
her;  he  is  called  first  to  meat,  his  mess  is  given1  to  him 
first.  For  this  fellow  has  been,  perhaps,  about  three  years 
with  us ;  nor  fares  it  better  with  any  other  servant  in  our 
family  than  with  him.  But  it  is  necessary  for  me  to  mind 
what  I  am  about ;  to  keep  my  eye  upon  this  door.  If  I  take 
my  station  here,  this  way,  i'  faith,  I  warrant  they  will  never 
impose  on  me. 

Scene  VIII. 

Enter  Pal^strio  and  Philocomasitjm  from  the  Captain's 
house. 

Pal.  (speaking  to  her  in  a  low  voice  as  he  enters) .  Be 
sure  to  remember  my  instructions. 

Phil,  (aside).  It's  strange  you  should  so  often  remind  me. 

Pal.  (aside).  But  I  fear  you  may  not  prove  cunning  enough. 

Phil,  (aside).  Give  me  even  ten  scholars,  though  far  from 
artful,  I  could  instruct  them  so  as  to  prove  artful ;  in  me  alone 
is  there  a  superabundance  of  artfulness  :  come,  then,  now  put 
your  plans  in  force  ;  I'll  step  aside  here.    (Steps  aside.) 

Pal.  What  have  you  to  say,  Sceledrus  ? 

Scel.  (not  lifting  up  his  eyes).  I'm  about  this  business  of 
mine :  I  have  got  ears,  say  what  you  please. 

her  feet ;"  as  much  as  to  say,  "  I'll  bring  her  to  you  on  her  feet  and  not  standing 
on  her  head."  The  true  meaning  of  the  passage  seems  to  be,  "  I'll  bring  her  to 
you  standing  upon  '  terra  firma,'  and  not  flying  with  wings,  as  you  seem  to  expect." 
1  His  mess  is  given) — Ver.  349.  The  "  pulmentum,"  or  food  of  the  slaves,  usually 
consisted  of  salt,  fish,  oil,  vinegar,  and  the  olives  that  were  windfalls.  This  food 
received  its  name  from  being  eaten  with  a  kind  of  porridge  made  from  meal  m 
pulse,  which  was  generally  eaten  before  bread  was  used,  and  prcbably  continue 
oe  the  food  of  the  slaves. 


88  MILES  GLOIUOSUS  ;  Act.  II. 

Pal.  I  think  that  in  that  self-same  position1  you  will  have 
to  die  outside  the  gates,  when,  with  hands  outstretched,  you 
will  be  carrying  your  cross. 

Scel.  For  what  reason  so  ?  Pal.  Just  look  on  your  left 
hand ;  who  is  that  lady  ? 

Scel.  {looking).  O  ye  immortal  Gods,  it  really  is  the  lady 
of  my  master ! 

Pal.  I'  faith,  so  she  seems  to  me  as  well.  Do  then,  now, 
since  so  you  would  have  it 

Scel.  Do  what  ?     Pal.  Die  this  very  instant. 

Phil,  (advancing).  Where  is  this  faithful  servant,  who 
has  falsely  accused  me  in  my  innocence  of  this  most  heinous 
crime  ? 

Pal.  See,  here  he  is ;  'tis  he  that  told  it  me, — assuredly 
'twas  he. 

Phil.  Villain,  did  you  say  that  you  had  seen  roe  next 
door  here  kissing  ? 

Pal.  Besides,  he  said  it  was  with  some  strange  young 
man. 

Scel.  I'  faith,  I  did  say  so,  undoubtedly. 

Phil.  You,  saw  me  ?  Scel.  Tes,  with  these  self-same  eyes. 

Phil.  I  fancy  you  will  lose  those  eyes,  which  see  more 
than  what  they  really  do  see. 

Scel.  By  my  faith,  I  shall  never  be  intimidated  from 
having  seen  what  I  really  did  see. 

Phil.  In  my  foolishness  I  am  delaying  too  long  in  parley- 
ing with  this  madman,  whom,  by  the  powers,  I'll  punish  with 
death. 

Scel.  Forbear  to  threaten  me :  I  know  that  the  cross  will 
prove  my  tomb ;  there  are  laid  my  forefathers,  my  father, 
grandfather,  great-grandfather,  great-great-grandfather.  'Tis 
not  in  possibility,  however,  for  these  eyes  of  mine  to  be  dug 
out3  by  your  threats.  But  I  want  a  few  words  with  you ; 
prithee,  Palsestrio,  whence  came  she  hither  ? 

1  In  that  selfsame  position) — Ver.  359.  Sceledrus  is  standing  before  the  door  with 
both  arms  stretched  out  that  Philoeomasium  may  not  come  out  without  his  know- 
ing. Palasstrio  tells  him,  that  when  he  comes  to  be  fastened  en  the  cross  for  his 
negligence,  he  will  have  to  assume  that  attitude.  The  gate  here  alluded  to  is  sup- 
posed to  have  been  the  Esquiline,  or  Metian  gate  at  Rome,  a  place  near  which 
was  devoted  to  the  punishment  of  slaves.     Athens  and  other  Greek  cities  had 

'  the  gate  of  Charon,"  through,  which  malefactors  passed  to  punishment. 

2  To  be  dug  out) — Ver.  374.  That  is,  M  you  cannot  make  me  not  to  have  seen 
what  I  really  did  see." 


Sc.  VIII.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  89 

Pal.  Whence  but  from  our  house  ?  Scel.  From  our 
house  ? 

Pal.  Do  you  credit  me1?  Scel.  I  do  credit  you:  but 
'tis  a  thing  to  be  wondered  at,  how  she  has  been  able  to  re- 
turn from  that  house  to  ours.  For,  beyond  a  doubt,  we  have 
neither  a  terrace  to  our  house,  nor  any  garden,  nor  any 
window  but  what  is  latticed2.  (To  Philocomasium.)  But, 
undoubtedly,  I  did  see  you  in  the  house  next  door. 

Pal.  Do  you  persist,  you  rascal,  in  pretending  to  accuse 
her? 

Phil.  In  good  sooth,  then,  the  dream  has  not  turned  out 
untrue,  that  I  dreamed  last  night. 

Pal.  What  did  you  dream  ?  Phil.  I'll  tell  you ;  but,  I 
pray  you,  give  attention.  Last  night,  in  my  sleep,  my  twin- 
sister  seemed  to  have  come  from  Athens  to  Ephesus  with  a 
certain  person,  her  lover.  Both  of  them  seemed  to  me  to  be 
having  their  lodgings  here  next  door. 

Pal.  (to  the  Audience).  The  dream  that's  being  related 
is  Palgestrio's — pray,  go  on. 

Phil.  I  seemed  to  be  delighted  because  my  sister  had  come, 
and  on  her  account  I  seemed  to  be  incurring  a  most  grievous 
suspicion.  For,  in  my  sleep,  my  own  servant  seemed  to 
accuse  me,  as  you  are  now  doing,  of  being  caressed  by  a 
strange  young  man,  whereas  it  was  that  own  twin-sister  of 
mine,  who  had  been  toying  with  her  own  friend.  Thus  did 
I  dream  that  I  was  wrongfully  accused  of  a  crime. 

Pal.  And  isn't  just  the  same  thing  befalling  you  when 
awake,  that  you  speak  of  as  seen  in  your  sleep  ?  Capital ; 
i'  faith,  the  dream  is  verified:  go  in-doors,  and  pray3.  I 
should  recommend  that  this  be  told  to  the  Captain. 

1  Do  you  credit  me) — Ver.  364.  "Viden?"  Literally,  "do  you  look  at  me?" 
The  Romans,  when  they  wished  to  impress  any  one  with  the  belief  that  they 
were  speaking  seriously  and  in  good  faith,  used  this  phrase,  or  "  vide  me,"  "  look 
at  me  now."  Our  expression,  "do  you  look  me  in  the  face  and  say  so?"  is 
somewhat  similar. 

2  But  what  is  latticed) — Ver.  379.  The  "  clathri"  were  a  kind  of  lattice  or  treLjs- 
work,  which,  as  well  as  network,  was  sometimes  placed  before  windows  to  prevent 
nerpents  and  other  noxious  reptiles  from  getting  in. 

3  A.-,  dp-ray)— Ver.  394.  After  any  ill-omened  dream,  it  was  the  custom  to  offer 
corn  and  frankincense  to  Jupiter  Prodigialis,  "  the  disposer  of  prodigies,"  and  othei 
of  the  Deities,  in  order  that  evil  might  be  averted. 


90  MILES  GLORIOSUS  ;  Act  II 

Phil.  I  am  resolved  to  do  so ;  nor,  in  fact,  will  I  allow 
myself,  with  impunity,  to  be  accused  of  disgraceful  conduct, 
(Goes  into  the  Captain's  house.) 

Scene  IX. 

SCELEDEUS,  PAL2ESTRIO. 

Scel.  I  fear  for  the  thing  I  have  done ;  my  back  does  so 
tingle  all  over. 

Pal.  Are  you  not  aware  that  you  are  done  for  ? 

Scel.  Now,  indeed,  I'm  sure  she  is  at  home ;  I  am  now 
resolved  to  watch  our  door,  wheresoever  she  may  be.  {Places 
himself  at  the  door.) 

Pal.  But,  prithee,  Sceledrus,  how  very  like  the  dream  she 
dreamt  to  what  has  happened ;  and  how  you  really  did  believe 
that  you  had  seen  her  kissing.         *         *         *         *         # 

Scel.  And  do  you  suppose  that  I  didn't  see  her  ? 

Pal.  I'  faith,  I  verily  believe  you'll  come  to  your  senses 
when  'tis  too  late.  If  this  matter  should  only  reach  our 
master,  you  certainly  are  undone. 

Scel.  Now,  at  length,  I  find  out  that  there  was  a  mist 
placed  before  my  eyes. 

Pal.  I'  faith,  that  really  has  been  plain  for  some  time  now ; 
as  she  was  here  in-doors  all  the  while. 

Scel.  Not  a  word  of  certainty  have  I  to  utter ;  I  did  not 
see  her,  although  I  did  see  her. 

Pal.  By  my  troth,  through  this  folly  of  yours  you  certainly 
have  nearly  ruined  us  ;  while  you  have  wished  to  prove  yourself 
faithful  to  your  master,  you  have  been  almost  undone.  But 
the  door  of  our  next  neighbour  makes  a  noise ;  I'll  be  silent. 

Scene  X. 

Enter  Phllocomasium1,  dressed  in  another  habit,  from  the 
house  o/Periplecomenus. 

Phil,  (to  a  servant  Servant).  Put  fire  on  the  altar,  that 

1  Phllocomasium)  Sceledrus  having  been  duly  prepared,  Philocomasium  ap- 
pears as  her  twin-sister,  who  is  supposed  to  have  come  the  day  before  from  Athen* 
to  Ephesus,  and  gives  directions  about  returning  thanks  for  having  landed  in 
safety.  As  the  circumstance  of  the  communication  between  the  houses  is  known 
to  the  Audience,  and  is  not  suspected  by  Sceledrus,  his  embarrassment  is  highty 
diverting,  and  very  cleverly  depicted. 


Sc.  X.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIK.  01 

in  my  joy  I  may  return  praises  and  thanks  to  Diana  oi 
Ephesus,  and  that  I  may  send  up  for  her  a  grateful  smoke 
with  odours  of  Arabia:  she  who  has  preserved  me  in  tho 
realms  of  Neptune  and  amid  the  boisterous  temples1,  where 
with  raging  billows  I  have  been  so  recently  dismayed. 

Scel.  (discovering  her).  Palsestrio !  O  Palaestrio ! 

Pal.  Sceledrus !  0  Sceledrus !     What  is  it  you  want  ? 

Scel.  This  lady  that  has  come  out  of  that  house  just  now 
■ — is  she  Philocomasium,  our  master's  lady,  or  is  she  not  ? 

Pal.  I'  faith,  I  think,  it  seems  to  be  she.  But  'tis  a 
wondrous  thing  how  she  could  pass  from  our  house  to  next 
door ;  if,  indeed,  it  is  she. 

Scel.  And  have  you  any  doubt  that  this  is  she  ? 

Pal.  It  seems  to  be  she.  Scel.  Let  us  approach  her,  and 
accost  her.  Hallo !  how's  this,  Philocomasium  ?  What  is 
there  owing  to  you  in  that  house  ?  What  is  your  business 
there  ?     Why  are  you  silent  now  ?     I  am  speaking  to  you. 

Pal.  No,  faith,  you  are  talking  to  yourself;  for  nothing  at 
all  does  she  answer. 

Scel.  I  am  addressing  you,  woman,  brimful  of  viciousness 
and  disgrace,  who  are  roaming  about  among  your  neighbours. 

Phil.  To  whom  are  you  talking  ?  Scel.  To  whom  but  to 
yourself? 

Phil.  What  person  are  you  ?  Or  what  business  have  you 
with  me  ? 

Scel.  O,  you  ask  me  who  I  am,  do  you  ? 

Phil.  Why  shouldn't  I  ask  that  which  I  don't  know  ? 

Pal.  Who  am  I,  then,  if  you  don't  know  him  ? 

Phil.  Tou  are  an  annoyance  to  me,  whoever  you  are,  both 
you  and  he. 

Scel.  What?  don't  you  know  us  ?  Phil.  No,  neither  of  you. 

Scel.  I  very  much  fear Pal.  What  do  you  fear  ? 

Scel.  Why,  that  we  have  lost  ourselves  somewhere  or 
other ;  for  she  says  that  she  knows  neither  you  nor  me. 

Pal.  I  wish,  Sceledrus,  to  examine  into  this,  whether  we 
are  ourselves,  or  else  some  other  persons ;  lest  secretly  some- 
how some  one  of  our  neighbours  may  have  transformed  us 
without  our  knowing  it. 

1  Boisterous  temples) — Ver.  413.  In  the  language  of  the  Poets,  Neptune  and  th« 
inferior  Sea  Divinities  are  supposed  to  have  their  temples  and  abodes  in  the  so* 
*nd  rivers. 


92  MILES  GLOEIOSUS  ;  Act  II. 

Scel.  For  my  part,  beyond  a  doubt,  I  am  my  own  self. 

Pal.  I'  faith,  and  so  am  I.  Scel.  My  lady,  you  are 
seeking  your  destruction.  To  you  I  am  speaking ;  hark  you, 
Philocomasium ! 

Phil.  What  craziness  possesses  you,  to  be  calling  me 
wrongly  by  a  crackjaw  name1  ? 

Scel.  How  now  !    What  are  you  called,  then  ? 

Phil.  My  name  is  Glycera.  Scel.  For  a  bad  purpose, 
Philocomasium,  you  wish  to  have  a  wrong  name.  Away  with 
you,  shocking  woman ;  for  most  notably  are  you  doing  a 
wrong  to  my  master. 

Phil.  I  ?     Scel.  Yes,  you. 

Phil.  I,  who  arrived  from  Athens  yesterday  evening  at 
Ephesus,  with  my  lover,  a  young  man  of  Athens  ? 

Scel.  Tell  me,  what  business  have  you  here  in  Ephesus  ? 

Phil.  I  had  heard  that  my  own  twin-sister  is  here  in 
Ephesus ;  I  came  here  to  look  for  her. 

Scel.  You're  a  good-for-nothing  woman. 

Phil.  Yes,  i'  faith,  I  am  a  very  foolish  one  to  be  parleying 
with  you  fellows.     I  am  going. 

Scel.  I  won't  let  you  go.     (Catches  hold  of  her.) 

Phil.  Let  me  go.  Scel.  You  are  discovered  in  the  fact. 
I  won't  let  you  go. 

Phil.  But  my  hands  shall  just  now  sound  again  against 
your  cheek,  if  you  don't  let  me  go. 

Scel.  (to  Pal^strio).  Why  the  plague  are  you  standing 
idle  ?    Why  don't  you  hold  her  on  the  other  side  ? 

Pal.  I  don't  choose  to  bring  the  business  down  upon  my 
back.  How  do  I  know  but  that  this  is  not  Philocomasium, 
but  is  some  other  female  that  resembles  her  ? 

Phil.  Will  you  let  me  go,  or  will  you  not  let  me  go  ? 

Scel.  No  ;  by  force  and  against  your  will,  in  spite  of  you, 
I'll  drag  you  home,  unless  you'll  go  of  your  own  accord. 

Phil,  ('pointing  to  the  Aow^o/'Periplecomenus).  This  is 
my  lodging  here  abroad2,  at  Athens  is  my  home. 

1  Crackjaw  name) — Ver.  434.  "  Perplexo  nomine."  The  Commentators  seem 
to  think  that  this  means  no  more  than  "  by  my  wrong  name."  The  word  "  per- 
plexo" seems,  however,  to  refer  to  the  extreme  length  of  the  name,  as  well  as  the 
fact  that  it  does  not  belong  to  her. 

2  Lodging  here  abroad) — Ver.  450.  "  Hosticum  domicilium,"  "  my  lodging  when 
abroad."  "  Hostis"  originally  meant  merely  "  a  foreigner;"  whereas  its  later  sig- 
nification was  "  an  enemy." 


&_\   XII.  TIIE  BEAGGAET  CAPTAIN.  93 

Scel.  But  jour  master  lives  here  (pointing  to  the  Cap- 
tain's house). 

Phil.  I  have  nothing  to  do  with  that  house,  nor  do  I 
know  or  understand  yourselves  what  persons  you  are. 

Scel.  Proceed  against  me1  at  law.  I'll  never  let  you  go, 
until  you  give  me  your  solemn  word  that  you  will  go  in- 
doors here  (pointing  to  the  Captain's  house)  if  I  let  go  ol 
you. 

Phil.  You  are  compelling  me  by  force,  whoever  you  are. 
I  gi  re  you  my  word,  that  if  you  let  go  of  me,  I  will  go  into 
that  house  where  you  bid  me. 

Scel.  Then,  now  I  let  go  of  you.  Phil.  And,  as  I'm  let 
go,  I'll  go  in  here.  (Buns  into  the  house  of  Peeipleco 
menus.) 

Scene  XI. 

SCELEDEUS,    PaL^STEIO. 

Scel.  She  has  acted  with  a  woman's  honour. 

Pal.  Sceledrus,  you've  lost  the  prey  through  your 
hands ;  as  sure  as  possible  she  is  the  lady  of  our  master. 
Do  you  intend  to  act  in  this  matter  with  spirit  ? 

Scel.  How  am  I  to  act  ?  Pal.  Bring  me  a  sword  out  hero 
from  in-doors. 

Scel.  "What  will  you  do  with  it  ? 

Pal.  I'll  break  right  into  the  house2 ;  and  whatever  man 
I  see  in-doors  there  caressing  Philocomasium,  I'll  behead 
him  on  the  spot. 

Scel.  And  do  you  think  that  it  was  she  ? 

Pal.  I'  faith,  it  was  she,  sure  enough.  Scel.  But  how 
she  did  dissemble. 

Pal.  Go,  bring  me  a  sword  out  here. 

Scel.  I'll  have  it  here  thismoment.  (Goes  into  the  Cap- 
tain's house.) 

Scene  XII. 
Paljesteio  alone. 
Pal.  Beyond  a  doubt,  neither  any  horse  nor  foot  has  so 

1  Proceed  against  me) — Ver.  453.  "  Lege  agito."  "  Lege  agere"  was  a  technical 
expression,  meaning  "  to  bring  an  action,"  or  "  to  sue  a  person  at  law."  It  is  said 
to  have  been  the  formal  expression  in  commencing  an  action  or  suit. 

2  Into  the  home)— Vet.  460.  The  mock  rage  of  Palaestrio  herd  is  admirablj 
drawn. 


94  MILES  gloeiostjs  ;  Act  IL 

great  a  degree  of  boldness  in  carrying  out  anything  with 
as  much  confidence  as  some  women.  How  cleverly  and  how 
skilfully  she  performed  her  part  in  both  her  characters! 
— how  her  wary  keeper,  my  fellow-servant,  is  being  gulled ! 
'Tis  most  fortunate  that  the  passage  communicates  through 
the  party-wall. 

Scene  XIII. 
Enter  ScELEDBUs/hm  the  Captain's  house. 

Scel.  Hallo  !  Palaestrio,  there's  no  occasion  for  the  sword. 

Pal.  How  so  ? — or  what's  the  matter  now? 

Scel.  Our  master's  lady  is  there,  at  home. 

Pal.  "What  ?    At  home  ?     Scel.  She's  lying  on  the  sofa. 

Pal.  Faith,  but  you've  certainly  brought  on  yourself  a 
disagreable  affair,  according  to  what  you  report. 

Scel.  How  so?  Pal.  Inasmuch  as  you  have  dared  ta 
touch  that  lady  next  door  here. 

Scel.  I'  faith,  I  fear  it  much.  But  no  one  shall  ever  make 
her  to  be  any  other  than  her  own  twin-sister. 

Pal.  'Twas  she,  in  troth,  that  you  saw  toying :  and,  in 
fact,  'tis  plain  that  it  is  she,  as  you  remark. 

Scel.  What  was  there  more  likely  than  that  I  should  have 
been  undone,  if  I  had  spoken  of  it  to  my  master. 

Pal.  Then,  if  you're  wise,  you'll  hold  your  tongue.  It 
befits  a  servant  to  know  of  more  than  he  speaks.  I'm  going 
to  leave  you,  that  I  may  not  at  all  participate  in  your  de- 
signs. And  I  shall  go  to  our  neighbour  here  ;  these  turmoil? 
of  yours  don't  please  me.  My  master,  if  he  comes,  should  he 
inquire  for  me,  I  shall  be  there ;  send  forme  next  door.  {Goes 
into  the  house  o/Periplecohenus.) 

Scene  XIV. 

Sceledrus,  alone. 

Scel.  Well,  he's  off;  nor  cares  he  any  more  for  his  master's 
business  than  if  he  were  not  in  his  service.  For  sure  she 
really  is  now  here  in-doors  in  the  house,  for  I  myself  found 
her  just  now  lying  down  in  our  house.  I  am  resolved  now 
to  employ  myself  in  watching.  (Places  himself  against  the 
Captain's  door.) 


Sc.  XV.  THE  BEAGGAET  CAPTAIW.  95 

Scene  XV. 
Enter  Peeiplecomenus  from  his  house. 

Peeip.  Faith,  but  these  men  here,  these  servants  of  my 
neighbour  the  Captain,  take  me  not  to  be  a  man,  but  a  woman, 
so  much  do  they  trifle  with  me.  My  lady  guest,  who  came 
here  yesterday  from  Athens  with  the  gentleman,  my  guest,  ia 
she  to  be  mauled  about  and  made  fun  of  here  in  the  street — 
a  lady,  free-born  and  free  ? 

Scel.  (aside).  By  my  troth,  I'm  undone.  He's  coming 
in  a  straight  line  up  towards  me.  I  fear  that  this  matter 
may  cause  me  great  trouble,  so  far  as  I  have  heard  this  old 
gentleman  speak. 

Peeip.  I'll  up  to  this  fellow.  Was  it  you,  Sceledrus, 
source  of  mischief,  that  were  just  now  making  fun  of  my  lady 
guest  before  the  house  ? 

Scel.  Good  neighbour,  listen,  I  beg.  Peeip.  I,  listen 
to  you  ? 

Scel.  I  wish  to  clear  myself.  Peeip.  You,  clear  yourself 
to  me,  who  have  done  an  action  so  gross  and  so  unbecoming? 
And  because  you  are  soldiers1,  do  you  suppose,  you  gallows- 
bird,  that  you  may  do  what  you  like  with  us  ? 

Scel.  May  I ?     Peeip.  But  so  may  all  the  Gods  and 

Goddesses  prosper  me,  if  a  punishment  with  the  rod2  is  not 
given  to  you  at  my  request,  a  long  and  lasting  one,  from 
norning  to  evening ;  because  you  have  been  breaking  my 
gutters  and  my  tiles,  while  you  were  following  there  a 
monkey  like  your  own  self3;  because,  too,  you  have  been 
peeping  down  from  there  at  my  guest  in  my  house,  when 
he  was  caressing  and  fondling  his  mistress  ;  besides,  you  have 

1  Because  you  are  soldiers) — Ver.  499.  He  alludes  to  the  lawless  character  of 
the  mercenary  soldier,  whose  name,  "  latro,"  came  afterwards  to  be  applied  to  rob- 
bers and  cut-throats  of  all  descriptions.  It  may  be  here  remarked,  that  the  word 
"  miles,"  which  is  applied  throughout  the  play  to  their  master,  the  Captain,  is  a 
general  term  for  one  following  the  profession  of  arms,  whether  officer  or  private. 
The  word  is  translated  "  Captain,"  without  reference  to  his  rank,  any  further  than 
that  he  was  a  commanding  officer. 

2  With  the  rod) — Ver.  502.    The  slaves  were  more  frequently  beaten  with 
flagra,"  or      whips;"  but  they  were  sometimes  scourged   with  "virgae,"  or 

4  rods."     This  was  done  by  the  "  lorarius,"  a  slave  who  was  kept  for  the  purpose. 
'  Like  your  own  self) — Ver.  505.  "  Condignam  te ;"  literally,  "  worthy,"  or  de- 
serving of  yourself. 


96  MILES  GLORIOSUS ;  Act  Ii, 

dared  to  accuse  the  chaste  lady  of  your  master  of  criminality, 
and  myself  of  a  heinous  offence ;  and  further,  because  you 
have  dared  to  maul  about  my  lady  guest  before  my  house. 
If  the  punishment  of  the  whip  is  not  given  to  you,  I  will  cause 
your  master  to  be  more  laden  with  disgrace  than  the  sea  is  full 
of  waves  in  a  heavy  storm. 

Scel.  I  am  driven  to  such  straits,  Periplecomenus,  that  I 
don't  know  whether  it  is  fitter  for  me  rather  to  dispute  this. 
matter  with  you,  or  whether,  if  she  is  not  our  lady,  and  if  our 
lady  was  not  seen  by  me,  it  seems  more  proper  for  me  to 
excuse  myself  to  you ;  as  even  now  I  don't  know  which  I  saw, 
so  like  is  that  guest  of  yours  to  our  lady — if,  indeed,  she  is 
not  the  same  person. 

Peeip.  Go  into  my  house  and  look :  you'll  soon  see. 

Scel.  May  I  go  ?  Perip.  Why,  I  command  you ;  go  and 
examine  at  your  leisure. 

Scel.  I  am  determined  to  do  so.  {Goes  into  the  house  of 
Periplecomenus.) 

Scene  XVI, 

Periplecomenus. 

Perip.  {probably  looking  up  to  a  window  in  the  Captain's 
house).  Ho!  Philocomasium1!  pass  instantly,  with  all  speed, 
into  my  house ;  'tis  absolutely  necessary.  Afterwards,  when 
Sceledrus  shall  have  come  out  from  my  house,  pass  quickly, 

1  Philocomasium)— Ver.  522.  Directly  Sceledrus  turns  his  back,  the  old  man  calls 
out  for  Philocomasium,  who  is  supposed  at  that  moment  to  be  in  the  Captain's 
house.  How  he  does  so  is  somewhat  of  a  mystery  to  the  Commentators.  Thornton, 
in  his  translation,  suggests  that  he  calls  through  the  window,  where  it  is  natural  to 
imagine  that  Philocomasium  might  be  stationed  within  hearing  to  observe  all  that 
passed.  He  could  hardly,  however,  call  "  through"  the  window  of  the  ground- 
floor,  as  these  were  generally  more  than  six  feet  from  the  ground ;  and,  indeed, 
there  were  rarely  any  windows  at  all  on  the  basement.  It  is  most  likelv  that 
Philocomasium  is  hidden  behind  the  "  clatri"  or  "  lattice"  of  the  window  in  her 
room  on  the  first-floor,  whence  she  observes  all  that  passes.  In  a  future  line  we 
find  Acroteleutium  and  Milphidippa  owning  that  they  had  been  watching  from 
the  window  what  was  going  on  outside.  Schmieder  thinks  that  the  whole  plan 
having  been  prearranged  between  Periplecomenus  and  Philocomasium,  he  merely 
on  this  occasion  makes  a  sign  to  her,  the  meaning  of  which  is  here  expressed  i& 
words,  and  he  supposes,  what  it  does  not  deem  necessary  to  suppose,  that  his  ser- 
vants have  been  ordered  to  delay  Sceledrus,  so  as  to  give  time  to  the  damsol  t* 
pass  through  into  his  house. 


SC.  XVIII.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  97 

with  all  haste,  back  again  to  your  own  house.  By  my  troth, 
now,  I'm  afraid  she'll  be  making  some  blunder.  Should  he 
not  see  the  woman        *        *       *        *         My  door  opens. 

Scene  XYIL 

Enter  ScELEDitusyrom  the  house  of  Periplecomenus. 

Scel.  O  ye  immortal  Gods !  A  woman  more  like,  and  more 
the  same,  who  is  not  the  same,  I  do  not  think  the  Gods  coidd 
make. 

Perip.  What  now  ?     Scel.  I  certainly  merit  chastisement. 

Perip.  "What  then  ?  Is  it  she  ?  Scel.  Although  'tis  she, 
'tis  not  she. 

Perip.  Have  you  seen  this  lady  ?  Scel.  I  have  seen  both 
her  and  the  gentleman,  your  guest,  caressing  and  kissing. 

Perip.  Is  it  she  ?     Scel.  I  know  not. 

Perip.  "Would  you  know  for  certain  ?  Scel.  I  should 
like  to. 

Perip.  Go  you  this  instant  into  your  own  house:  see 
whether  your  lady  is  within. 

Scel.  Very  well :  you've  advised  me  rightly.  I'll  be  out 
again  to  you  this  instant.     (Goes  into  the  Captain's  house.} 

Perip.  I'  faith,  I  never  saw  any  man  more  cleverly  fooled, 
and  by  more  singular  devices.     But  here  he  is  coming. 

Scene  XVIII. 
Enter  Scelee-rus/tow  the  Captain's  house. 

Scel.  Periplecomenus,  by  Gods  and  men,  and  by  my  own 
folly,  and  by  your  knees  !  I  do  beseech  you 

Perip.  What  now  ?  Scel.  Pardon  my  ignorance  and 
my  folly ;  now,  at  length,  I  know  that  I  am  half-witted, 
blind,  and  thoughtless;  for,  behold!  Philocomasium  is  at 
home. 

Perip.  How,  then,  hang-dog1.   Have  you  seen  them  both  ? 

Scel.  I  have  seen  them.  Perip.  I  wish  you  to  bring 
your  master  to  me. 

1  Hang-dog) — Ver.  545.  "  Furcifer."  Literally,  "  bearer  of  the  'furca.' "  Slaves 
are  repeatedly  thus  called  in  these  plays,  as,  by  way  of  punishment  for  their  mis- 
deeds, they  were  compelled  to  carry  a  "  furca,"  or  two  pieces  of  wood  shaped  like  th« 
etter  V,  round  their  necks,  with  then- hands  tied  to  the  ends  of  the  instrument. 
U 


9S  MILES  qloriosus,  Act  II. 

Scel.  Indeed,  I  confess  that  I  deserve  a  very  great 
punishment ;  and  I  own  that  I  have  done  a  wrong  to  your 
lady  guest.  But  I  thought  that  she  was  the  lady  of  my 
master,  to  whom  the  Captain,  my  master,  gave  me  as  a 
keeper ;  for  it  is  not  possible  for  water  ever  to  be  drawn  more 
like  to  water  from  the  same  well,  than  is  she  to  this  lady 
guest  of  yours.  And  I  will  confess,  as  well,  that  I  did  look 
through  the  skylight  into  your  house. 

Peeip.  Why  shouldn't  you  confess  what  I  saw  myself  ? 

Scel.  And  there  saw  in  your  house  this  lady  guest  of 
yours,  kissing. 

Perip.  You  saw  her  ?  Scel.  I  saw  her.  Why  should  I 
deny  what  I  did  see  ?  But  I  fancied  that  I  had  seen  Philoco- 
masium. 

Perip.  And  did  you  suppose  me  to  be  the  very  vilest 
of  all  men,  in  allowing1,  with  my  own  knowledge,  such  an 
injury  so  glaringly  to  be  done  to  my  neighbour  ? 

Scel.  Now,  at  length,  I  am  of  opinion  that  it  was  done 
foolishly  by  me,  when  I  come  to  understand  the  matter ;  but 
still  I  did  not  do  it  with  any  ill  intent. 

Perip.  Yes,  but  'twas  improperly  done ;  for  it  befits  a 
person  that  is  a  servant  to  keep  his  eyes,  and  hands,  and 
talk,  asleep. 

Scel.  Now,  if  after  this  day  I  mutter  anything,  even  what 
I  know  for  certain,  give  me  over  to  torture ;  I'll  give  myself 
up  to  you.     This  time,  prithee,  do  pardon  me  for  this. 

Perip.  I  shall  subdue  my  feelings,  so  as  to  think  that  it 
was  not  done  by  you  with  malicious  intent.  I  will  pardon 
you  in  this  matter. 

Scel.  May  the  Gods  bless  you,  then ! 

Perip.  Troth  now,  as  the  Gods  may  prosper  you,  really 
do  restrain  your  tongue  henceforth ;  even  that  which  you 
do  know,  don't  know,  and  don't  you  see  what  you  do  see. 

Scel.  You  counsel  me  aright ;  so  I'm  resolved  to  do.  Are 
you  quite  appeased  ? 

Perip.  Away  with  you.  Scel.  Is  there  aught  else  you 
now  require  of  me  ? 

Perip.  That  you  would  know  me  not.  {Makes  as  if  ho 
is  departing.} 

1  In  allowing) — Ver.  559.  The  old  gentleman  must  surely  have  changed  coloar 
when  he  said  this. 


So.  XIX.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN,  99 

Soel.  {aside).  He  has  been  cajoling  me.  He  w  kindly  he 
vouchsafed  his  favour  not  to  be  angry.  I  know  what  plan 
he  is  upon :  that  directly  the  Captain  returns  home  from 
the  Forum,  I  may  be  caught  at  home.  He  and  Palaestrio  to- 
gether have  me  in  their  power :  I  have  perceived  that,  and 
for  some  time  I've  known  it.  I'  faith,  never  will  I  be  seek- 
ing a  bait  this  day  from  out  of  that  wicker-net1.  For  now 
somewhither  will  I  betake  myself,  and  for  some  days  will  I 
lie  concealed  until  this  turmoil  is  hushed  and  their  resent- 
ment is  softened.  Enough  punishment  for  my  unlucky  pra- 
ting have  I  already  merited.  But  still,  whatever  befals  me, 
I'll  be  oif  hence  home.     {Goes  into  the  Captain's  house?) 

Scene  XIX. 
Periplecomenijs,  alone. 
Perip.  So  he  has  departed  hence.  I'  faith,  I  know  right 
well,  that  a  dead  pig  full  oft  has  more  relish2  by  far  than  a 
living  one :  so  bamboozled  has  he  been,  that  he  did  not  see 
what  he  really  did  see.  For  his  eyes,  and  ears,  and  thoughts 
have  come  over  to  us.  So  far,  'tis  right  cleverly  managed ; 
the  lady  has  played  her  part  most  excellently.  I'll  go  back 
again  to  my  Senate3 ;  forPalsestrio  is  now  at  home  in  my 
house,  and  now  Sceledrus  is  gone  from  the  door.  A  fuK 
Senate  can  now  be  held.  I'll  go  in ;  lest  while  I  am  absent, 
there  should  be  a  distribution4  of  their  parts  among  them. 
(  Goes  into  his  house.) 

1  That  wicker-net) — Ver.  581.  The  "na&sa"  was  a  contrivance,  by  means  of  joining 
willow  rods,  for  catching  fish.  It  was  probably  somewhat  in  the  :>hape  of  a  large 
bottle  with  a  narrow  mouth,  which  was  placed  with  a  bait  in  it,  facing  the  current 
of  the  stream.     See  the  Halieuticon  of  Ovid,  1.  11. 

2  Has  more  relish) — Ver.  587.  He  "  puns"  on  the  word  "  sapis ;"  and  probably 
this  was  a  common  saying  of  the  day.  "  Sapio"  means  either  "  to  be  wise,"  or  "to 
have  a  relishing  flavour."  Now,  inasmuch  as  the  flesh  of  the  pig  is  of  a  relishing 
nature,  it  may  be  very  truly  said,  that  it  has  more  of  the  "  sapit"  in  it  when  dead 
than  alive.  In  reference  to  Sceledrus,  he  seems  to  mean  that  he  will  prove  cf 
much  more  use  to  their  plan  now  he  is  bewildered  and  half  deprived  of  his  senses, 
than  when  in  full  possession  of  his  faculties ;  and  that,  in  fact,  so  far  as  their  object 
is  concerned,  there  will  be  more  of  the  "  sapit"  in  him  now  than  there  was  befors. 

3  To  my  Senate) — Ver.  592.  He  calls  his  fellow-plotters  in  the  mischief,  namely, 
Palsestrio,  Philocomasium,  and  Pleusicles,  his  Senate,  which  is  now  meeting  in 
consultation.  When  sitting  in  deliberation,  the  Senate  was  said  to  be  "  frecaets  " 
which  may  be  rendered  "  sitting,"  or  "  full." 

*  Re  a  distribution)— Yer.  595.  "  Sortitus,"  or  "  sortitio, '  was  the  distribution  bj 

«2 


100  MILES  GLORIOSUS  ;  Act  1IL 

ACT   THE   THTED. 
Scene  L 

Enter  Pal^strio  from  the  house  of  Periplecomenus. 

Pal.  (on  entering  he  calls  to  Pleusicles  and  Periple- 
comenus, who  are  in  the  house  of  the  latter).  Keep  yourselves 
within1  doors,  yet  a  moment,  Pleusicles.  Let  me  first 
look  out,  that  there  may  be  no  ambush  anywhere,  against 
that  council  which  we  intend  to  hold.  For  now  we  have 
need  of  a  safe  place  from  which  no  enemy  can  win  the  spoils 
of  our  counsels.  For  a  well-devised  plan  is  very  often  filched 
away,  if  the  place  for  deliberating  has  not  been  chosen  with 
care  or  with  caution ;  and  what  is  well-advised  is  ill-advised 
if  it  proves  of  use  to  the  enemy ;  and  if  it  proves  of  use  to 
the  enemy,  it  cannot  otherwise  than  prove  a  detriment  to 
yourself.  For  if  the  enemy  learn  your  plans,  by  your  own 
self-same  plans  they  tie  your  tongue  and  bind  your  hands  ; 
and  they  do  the  very  same  to  you  that  you  intended  to  do  to 
them.  But  I'll  spy  about,  lest  any  one,  either  in  this  direc- 
tion on  the  left  or  on  the  right,  should  come  like  a  huntsman 
on  our  counsels  with  his  ears  like  toils1.  (Looks  about.) 
Quite  vacant  is  the  prospect  hence  right  to  the  bottom  of  the 
street.  I'll  call  them  out.  Hallo !  Periplecomenus  and 
Pleusicles,  come  out ! 

Scene  II. 

Enter  Periplecomenus  and  Pleusicles  from  the  house  of 

the  former. 

Perip.  Behold  us  here  obedient  to  your  call. 

the  Senate  of  the  Roman  provinces  among  the  Proconsuls.  He  keeps  up  the  Me- 
taphor of  the  Senate,  and  says,  that  he  must  make  haste,  or  all  the  provinces  will 
be  distributed ;  or,  hi  other  words,  that  each  party  will  have  agreed  on  the  part 
he  has  to  play,  and  will  leave  him  nothing  to  do. 

1  Keep  yourselves  within) — Ver.  596.  There  was  but  one  Scene  throughout  the 
representation  of  each  Eoman  Comedy.  In  the  present  instance,  the  Scene 
is  in  front  of  the  houses  of  Periplecomenus  and  the  Captain.  Nothing  can  more 
strikingly  show  the  absurdity  of  such  a  plan  than  the  present  instance:  where 
Palsestrio  comes  out  of  the  house  of  Periplecomenus,  for  the  very  purpose,  right  in 
front  of  the  house  of  his  own  master,  of  holding  a  conversation  and  completing  hi» 
plot  with  Pleusicles  and  Periplecomenus,  for  the  purpose  of  deceiving  his  master 
and  carrying  off  his  mistress.  With  machinery  so  defective,  it  is  only  surprising 
that  the  writer  completed  his  task  so  well  as  he  has  done. 

2  Ears  lite  tails^—Ver  608.  "  Auritis  pla« is  •."  literally  "  toils  with  ears." 


Sc.  II.  THE  P.EAGGAET  CAPTAIN.  101 

Pal.  The  sway  is  easy  over  the  good.  Bui  I  wish  to  know, 
if  we  are  to  carry  out  the  matter  on  the  same  plan  that  we 
formed  within  ? 

Peeip.  Why,  in  fact  there's  nothing  can  be  more  condu- 
cive to  our  purpose.     "Well,  what  say  you,  Pleusicles  ? 

Pleus.  Can  that  displease  me  which  pleases  yourselves? 
What  person  is  there  more  my  friend  than  your  own  self? 

Peeip.  You  speak  kindly  and  obligingly.  Pal.  Faith, 
and  so  he  ought  to  do. 

Pleus.  But  this  affair  shockingly  distresses  me,  and  tor- 
ments my  very  heart  and  body. 

Peeip.  What  is  it  that  torments  you  ?     Tell  me. 

Pleus.  That  I  should  cause  childish  actions  in  a  person  of 
your  years,  and  that  I  should  require  of  you  deeds  that  neither 
become  yourself  nor  your  virtues;  and  that,  with  all  your  might, 
for  my  sake  you  are  striving  to  aid  me  in  my  passion,  and 
are  doing  actions  of  such  a  kind,  as,  when  done,  these  years  of 
yours  are  wont  rather  to  avoid  than  follow.  I  am  ashamed 
that  I  cause  you  this  trouble  in  your  old  age. 

Peeip.  You  are  a  person  in  love  after  a  new  fashion.  If, 
in  fact,  you  are  ashamed  of  anything  you  do,  you  are  nothing 
of  a  lover.  You  are  rather  the  shadow  of  those  who  are  in  love, 
than  a  true  lover,  Pleusicles. 

Pleus.  Ought  I  to  employ  these  years  of  yours  in  second- 
ing my  love  ? 

Peeip.  How  say  you  ?  Do  I  seem  to  you  so  very  much  a 
subject  for  Acheron1  ?  So  much  a  bier's-man2  ?  Do  I  seem 
to  you  to  have  had  so  very  long  a  life  ?  Why,  really,  I  am 
not  more  than  four-and-fifty  years  old ;  I  see  clearly  with  my 
eyes,  I'm  ready  with  my  hands,  I'm  active  with  my  feet. 

Pal.  If  he  is  seen  by  you  to  have  white  hair,  he  is  by  no 
means  an  old  man  in  mind ;  in  him  the  natural  strength  of 
his  mind  is  unimpaired. 

1  Subject  for  Acheron) — Ver.  627.  "  Acherunticus,"  "  an  inhabitant  of  Ache- 
ron," meaning  "  one  on  the  very  verge  of  the  grave." 

2  A  bier's-man) — Ver.  628.  The  bodies  of  the  more  respectable  people  were  ear- 
ned to  the  grave  on  a  kind  of  couch,  which  was  called  "  feretrum,"  or  "  capulus  ;,J 
whence  the  present  term  "  capularis,"  "  a  subject  for  the  '  capulus.' "  The  bodies 
of  poor  citizens  and  slaves  were  carried  on  a  kind  of  bier,  called  "  sandapila." 
Oudendorf  and  Becker  think,  however,  that  the  word  "  capulus"  means  "  a 
coffin"  of  wood  or  of  stone,  and  not  the  same  as  "  feretrum,"  "  a  couch,  or  bier." 
The  old  gentleman  is  very  naturally  somewhat  offended  at  the  remark  of  Pleu- 
fcclen. 


102  MILES  GLORIOSUS ;  Act  III, 

Pleus.  By  my  troth,  for  my  part,  I  have  found  it  to  be  sc 
as  you  say,  PalaBstrio ;  for,  in  fact,  his  kindness  is  quite  that 
of  a  young  man. 

Perip.  Yes,  my  guest,  the  more  you  make  trial  of  it,  the 
more  you  will  know  my  courtesy  towards  you  in  your  love. 

Pleus.  What  need  to  know  what's  known  already? 

Perip.  I'll  show  you  more  amiability  on  my  part  than  I'L 
make  mention  of    *  *  *  •         '•  *  * 

that  you  may  have  instances  for  proving  it  at  home,  and  not 
have  to  seek  it  out  of  doors.  For  unless  one  has  loved  him- 
self, with  difficulty  he  sees  into  the  feelings  of  one  in  love. 
But  I  have  some  little  love  and  moisture  in  my  body  still, 
and  not  yet  am  I  dried  up  for  the  pursuits  of  merriment  and 
pleasure.  Either  the  merry  banterer  likewise,  or  the  agreable 
boon-companion  will  I  be ;  no  interrupter  of  another  am  I  at 
a  feast.  I  bear  in  mind  how  properly  to  keep  myself  from 
proving  disagreable  to  my  fellow-guests ;  and  how  to  take  a 
due  share  with  my  conversation,  and  to  be  silent  as  well  in  my 
turn,  when  the  discourse  belongs  to  another.  Par  from  being 
a  spitter  or  hawker  am  I,  far  from  being  a  dirty-nosed  old 
fellow,  too.  And  never  do  I  take  liberties  with  any  person's 
mistress  when  out  in  company  ;  I  don't  snatch  up  the  dainty 
bits  before  another,  nor  take  the  cup  before  my  turn ;  nor, 
through  wine,  do  dissensions  ever  arise  on  my  account  at  the 
convivial  board.  If  there  is  any  one  there  that  is  disagreable,  I 
go  off  home ;  I  cut  the  parley  short.  Stretched  at  my  ease,  I 
devote  myself  to  pleasure,  love,  and  mirth.  In  fine,  at  Ephesus 
was  I  born,  not  among  the  Apulians,  not  at  Animula1. 

Pleus.  O  what  a  most  delightful  old  man,  if  he  possesses 
the  qualities  he  mentions !  Why,  troth,  surely  now,  he  was 
brought  up  in  the  very  rearing  of  Yenus. 

Pal.  Why,  in  fact,  you  will  not  find  another  person  who 
is  of  his  years,  more  accomplished  in  every  respect,  or  who  is 
more  a  friend  to  his  friend. 

Pleus.  By  my  troth,  your  whole  manners  really  do  show 

1  At  Animula) — Ver.  654.  The  people  of  Apulia,  in  the  south  of  Italy,  were  noted 
for  their  clownish  manners.  Animula,  as  we  learn  from  Festus,  was  a  little 
town  in  that  country;  probably  its  inhabitants  were  the  most  remarkable  of  all 
for  their  rusticity.  Absurdities  and  anachronisms  not  unfrequently  occur  in  ocr 
author.  There  is  something  absurd  in  a  merry  old  gentleman  of  Ephesus  going  aul 
the  way  to  Animula  for  a  simile. 


be.  II.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  .103 

marks  of  first-rate  breeding.  Find  me  three  men  of  such 
manners  against  a  like  weight  in  double-distilled  gold1. 

Perip.  I'll  make  you  confess  that  I  really  am  a  youngster 
in  my  manners ;  so  abounding  in  kindnesses  will  I  prove 
myself  to  you  in  every  respect.  Should  you  have  need  of  an 
advocate,  severe  or  fierce  ?  I  am  he.  Have  you  need  of  one  that 
is  gentle  ?  Tou  shall  say  that  I  am  more  gentle  than  the  sea 
is  when  hush'd,  and  something  more  balmy  will  I  prove  than 
is  the  Zephyr  breeze2.  In  this  same  person  will  I  display  to 
you  either  the  most  jovial  boon-companion,  or  the  first-rate 
"trencher-man3,  and  the  best  of  caterers.  Then,  as  for  dancing, 
there  is  no  ballet-master  that  is  so  supple  as  I. 

Pal.  (to  Pletjsicles).  What  could  you  wish  added  to  these 
accomplishments,  if  the  option  were  given  you  ? 

Pletjs.  That  thanks  could  be  returned  by  me  to  him  in 
degree  equal  to  his  deserts,  and  to  yourself,  to  both  of  whom 
I  feel  that  I  am  now  the  cause  of  extreme  anxiety.  But  it  is 
grievous  to  me  to  be  the  cause  of  so  great  expense  to  you. 

Perip.  Tou  are  a  simpleton.  For,  if  you  lay  anything 
out  on  a  bad  wife  and  upon  an  enemy,  that  is  an  expense ; 
that  which  is  laid  out  on  a  deserving  guest  and  a  friend  is 
gain ;  as  that,  which  is  expended  upon  sacred  rites,  is  a 
profit  to  the  wise  man.  By  the  blessing  of  the  Grods,  I  have 
enough,  with  which  to  receive  you  with  hospitality  in  my 
house.  Eat,  drink,  indulge  your  tastes  with  me,  and  surfeit 
yourself  with  enjoyments ;  my  house  is  at  your  service,  myself 

1  Double  distilled  gold) — Ver.  660.  "  Aurichalco"  probably  signifies  here,  as  in 
some  other  passages,  a  fabulous  metal  of  more  value  than  even  gold.  "  Orichalcum,'' 
however,  properly  means  either  one  of  the  ores  of  copper,  or  a  metallic  compound 
much  used  by  the  ancients,  which  was  probably  brass,  formed  by  the  combination  of 
zinc  ore  and  copper.  Supposing  gold  to  be  one  of  its  constituents,  they  corrupted  its 
original  name,  "  orichalcum,"  into  "  aurichalcum."  The  former  word  is  supposed 
by  the  author  of  the  article  "  orichalcum,"  in  Dr.  Smith's  Dictionary,  to  have  been  a 
compound  of  opos  and  ^uXkos,  "  mountain  bronze,"  so  called  from  fusing 
copper  with  an  ore  as  found  in  the  mountains.  "  Contra,"  in  this  sentence,  has 
the  meaning  of  "  to  "  or  "  against,"  in  staking  for  a  bet:  "three  men  against 
their  weight  in  gold;"  "  a  horse  to  a  hen,"  as  the  betting  men  sometimes  say. 

2  The  Zephyr  breeze) — Ver.  665.  Literally,  "  Favonius,"  one  of  the  names  of 
tha  West  wind. 

3  First-rate  trencher-man) — Ver.  667.  "  Parasitus  "  cannot  be  here  intended  to 
be  used  in  a  bad  sense,  as  he  is  speaking  of  his  own  merits.  It  must  mean  "  a  boon- 
companion,"  or  "jolly  fellow." 


104  MILES  GLOKIOSUS  ;  Act.  III. 

likewise  do  I  wish  to  be  at  your  service.  For,  through  the 
blessing  of  the  Gods,  I  may  say  that,  by  reason  of  my  wealth, 
I  could  have  married  a  dowered  wife  of  the  best  family ;  but 
I  don't  choose  to  introduce  an  everlasting  female  barker  at 
me  into  my  house. 

Pleus.  Why  don't  you  choose  ?  For  'tis  a  delightful  thing 
to  be  the  father  of  children  [liberos]. 

Perip.  Troth,  'tis  very  much  sweeter  by  far  to  be  free1 
[liberum]  yourself.  For  a  good  wife,  if  it  is  possible  for  her 
to  be  married  anywhere  on  earth,  where  can  I  find  her  ? 
But  am  I  to  take  one  home  who  is  never  to  say  this  to  me, 
"  Buy  me  some  wool,  my  dear,  with  which  a  soft  and  warm 
cloak  may  be  made,  and  good  winter  under-clothes2,  that  you 
mayn't  catch  cold  this  winter- weather ;"  such  an  expression 
as  this  you  can  never  hear  from  a  wife,  but,  before  the 
cocks  crow,  she  awakes  me  from  my  sleep,  and  says,  "  Give 
me  some  money,  my  dear,  with  which  to  make  my  mother  a 
present  on  the  Calends3,  give  me  some  money  to  make  pre- 
serves ;  give  me  something  to  give  on  the  Quinquatrus4  to 
the  sorceress5,  to  the  woman  who  interprets  the  dreams,  to 

1  To  be  free) — Ver.  683.  There  is  a  play  on  the  word  "  liber,"  here,  which 
means'  either  "  a  child,"  or  "  a  free  person."  He  says  that  it  is  much  more  plea- 
sant to  be  "  liberum"  (a  free  person),  than  to  be  the  father  of  a  "  liberum" 
(a  child).  The  word  "  liber,"  meaning  "  a  child,"  is  very  rarely  used  in  the  sin- 
gular number.     The  remark  of  Pleusicles  is  rather  modified  in  the  translation. 

2  Under-clothes) — Ver.  687.  The  "  tunica"  was  that  part  of  the  clothing  which 
was  next  to  the  skin. 

3  On  the  Calends) — Ver.  690.  He  alludes  to  the  Calends  of  March,  which,  as 
the  commencement  of  the  old  Roman  year,  was  particularly  celebrated  by  the 
Reman  matrons,  who  then  gave  presents  to  each  other,  and  received  them  from 
their  husbands.  The  festival  was  called  "  Matronalia,"  and  sacrifices  were  offered 
to  Juno  Lucina,  the  guardian  of  pregnant  women.  See  the  Fasti  of  Ovid,  B.  3, 
1.  257. 

*  On  the  Quinquatrus) — Ver.  691.  The  first  day  of  the  "  Quinquatrus,"  or 
"  five-day  feast,"  was  on  the  1 9th  of  March.  Festus  says,  that  it  had  its  name 
from  its  beginning  on  the  fifth  day  after  the  Ides.  See  the  Fasti  of  Ovid,  B.  3, 
1.  810.     This  festival  was  sacred  to  Minerva. 

5  To  the  sorceress) — Ver.  692.  The  "  prascantrix"  was  a  woman  who,  by  her 
incantations,  was  powerful  to  avert  evil.  "  Conjectrix"  was  a  female  who  inter- 
preted dreams.  "  Ariola"  was  supposed  to  be  an  inspired  prophetess.  "  Arus- 
pica"  was  a  female  who  divined  by  means  of  the  entrails,  lightning,  and  other  phe- 
nomena. "  Piatrix"  was  the  woman  who  purified  the  company,  and  perf  jrmed 
tne  expiations,  on  the  day  on  which  the  child  received  its  name. 


So.  II.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  105 

the  prophetess,  and  to  the  female  diviner ;  besides,  'tis  im- 
possible for  me,  in  civility,  not  to  fee  the  expiating  woman ;  for 
long  has1  the  mattress-maker2  been  grumbling,  because  she 
has  received  nothing ;  besides,  the  midwife  found  fault  with 
me,  that  too  little  had  been  sent  for  her.  What !  arn't  you 
going  to  send  something  to  the  nurse  that  brings  up  the  young 
slaves3  ?  It's  a  shame  if  nothing's  sent  her ;  with  what  a 
brow4  she  does  look  at  me."  These  and  many  other  expenses 
of  the  women  like  to  these  frighten  me  from  a  wife,  to  be 
uttering  speeches  to  me  like  to  this. 

Pal.  In  good  sooth,  the  Gods  are  propitious  to  you ;  for 
so  soon  as  you  lose  this  liberty,  you  will  not  easily  reinstate 
yourself  in.  the  same  condition. 

Pleus.  You  are  a  person  who  are  able  to  counsel  wisely 
both  for  another  and  for  yourself.  But  'tis  some  merit  for  a 
man  of  noble  family  and  of  ample  wealth  to  rear  children — a 
memorial  of  his  race  and  of  himself. 

Perip.  Since  I  have  many  relations,  what  need  have  I  of 
children  ?  Now  I  live  well  and  happily,  and  as  I  like,  and 
as  contents  my  feelings.  Tor  I  shall  bequeath  my  property 
to  my  relations,  and  divide  it  among  them.  These,  like  chil- 
dren, pay  attentions  to  me  ;  they  come  to  see  how  I  do,  or  what 
I  want ;  before  it  is  daybreak  they  are  with  me  ;  they  make 
inquiry  how  I  have  enjoyed  my  sleep  in  the  night.  Them  will 
I  have  for  children  who  are  ever  sending  presents  to  me.  Are 
they  sacrificing — they  give  a  greater  part  of  it  to  me  than  to 

1  For  long  has) — Ver.  694.  A  critic  in  the  St.  James's  Magazine  for  January, 
1763,  says,  on  this  point,  that  these  various  importunities,  since  they  relate  to  a 
state  of  things  now  entirely  passed  away,  lose  all  their  effect  on  the  reader ;  "  but 
when  such  insinuating  addresses  tend  to  procure  a  footboy,  or  a  new  year's  gift,  or 
something  handsome  to  give  to  servants,  or  to  the  wet-nurse,  or  the  Methodist 
preacher,  there  is  no  married  man  whatever  but  would  enter  directly  into  the 
spirit  of  such  requests."  This  sweeping  remark  may  possibly  be  somewhat  less 
remote  from  truth  than  it  is  from  gallantry  to  the  fair  sex. 

-  The  mattress-maker') — Ver.  694.  "  Toraria"  seems  to  be  "  the  bed,  or  mat- 
tress-maker." Other  editions  have  "  ceraria,"  "  the  woman  who  supplies  wax 
candles  for  sacrifice."  Others,  again,  have  "  gerula,"  "  the  nursemaid  that  carries 
the  children." 

3  The  young  slaves) — Ver.  696.  The  "  vernae"  were  the  slaves  that  were  born 
under  the  master's  roof.  They  were  more  indulged  than  the  other  slaves,  and 
were  noted  for  their  extreme  impudence  and  presumption. 

4  With  what  a  brow) — Ver.  697.  The  reference  here  ir  »y  probably  be  to  the 
evil  eye,  which,  of  injurious  effect  at  all  times,  would  be  supposed  to  be  parti- 
cularly so  in  the  case  of  a  nurse. 


106  MILES  GLOEIOSUS  ;  Act  III, 

themselves ;  they  take  mehome  with  them  to  share  the  entrails1; 
they  invite  me  to  their  houses  to  breakfast  and  to  dinner.  He 
thinks  him  self  most  unfortunate,  who  has  sent  hut  very  little 
to  me.  They  vie  with  one  another  with  their  presents ;  I  say 
in  a  low  voice  to  myself:  "  They  are  gaping  after  my  pro- 
perty ;  while,  in  their  emulation,  they  are  nourishing  nie  and 
loading  me  with  presents." 

Pal.  Upon  right  good  grounds  and  right  well  do  you  fully 
understand  yourself  and  your  own  interests,  and  if  you  are 
happy,  sons  twofold  and  threefold  have  you. 

Peeip.  Troth,  if  I  had  had  them,  enough  anxiety  should  I 
have  had  from  my  children.  ****** 
T  should  have  been  everlastingly  tormented  in  mind ;  but  if 
perchance  one  had  had  a  fever,  I  think  I  should  have  died. 
Or  if  one,  in  liquor,  had  tumbled  anywhere  from  his  horse,  I 
should  have  been  afraid  that  he  had  broken  his  legs  or  neck 
on  that  occasion. 

Pal.  'Tis  right  that  riches  should  come,  and  that  long  life 
should  be  granted  to  this  man,  who  both  husbands  his  pro- 
perty and  yet  enjoys  himself  and  has  kind  wishes  for  his 
friends. 

Pletts.  0  vjhat  a  delightful  person  !  So  may  the  Gods  and 
G-oddesses  prosper  me,  'twere  right  the  Deities  should  so 
ordain  that  all  should  not  live  after  one  rule  as  to  the  duration 
of  life.  Just  as  he  who  is  a  trusty  markeb-officer2  sets  their 
prices  on  the  wares  ;  as  that  which  is  good  or  valuable  is 
sold  according  to  its  excellence,  and  that  which  is  worthless, 
according  to  the  faultiness  of  the  commodity,  deprives  its 
owner  of  its  price ;  so  were  it  right  that  the  Gods  should 
portion  out  the  life  of  man,  so  as  to  give  to  him  who  is 
kindly  disposed  a  long  life,  and  speedily  to  deprive  of  exist- 
ence those  who  are  reprobate  and  wicked.  If  they  had  pro- 
vided this,  bad  men  would  both  have  been  fewer,  and  with 

1  To  share  the  entrails) — Ver.  712.  It  was  the  custom,  after  their  portions  had 
been  sacrificed  to  the  Gods,  to  reserve  a  part  of  the  entrails  for  the  persons  who  sa- 
crificed. These  invited  their  dearest  and  most  intimate  friends  to  partake  of  them, 
or,  if  they  could  not  attend,  were  in  the  habit  of  sending  their  share  to  them. 
The  old  man  here  flatters  himself  that  he  is  a  general  favorite,  although,  bye 
and  bye,  he  hints  a  suspicion  that,  being  a  rich  old  bachelor,  the  love  of  his  friends 
is  not  quite  disinterested. 

2  Market-officer) — Ver.  727.  "  Agoranomus"  was  the  name  of  a  public  officer 
among  the  Greeks,  who,  like  the  "  ^Edilis  plebis"  at  Rome,  had  the  inspection  or 
the  wares  offered  for  sale  in  the  public  markets. 


Sc.  II.  THE  BEAGGAET  CAPTAIN.  107 

less  hardihood  would  they  do  their  wicked  deeds ;  and  then, 
those  who  were  good  men,  of  them  there  would  have  been  a 
more  plenteous  harvest. 

Peeip.  He  who  would  blame  the  ordinances  of  the  Gods 
must  be  foolish  and  ignorant.  *  *  *  At  present  we  must  at 
once  have  an  end  of  these  matters ;  for  now  I  want  to  go  to 
market,  that,  my  guest,  according  to  your  own  deserts  and 
mine,  I  may  entertain  you  hospitably  at  my  house,  heartily 
and  with  right  hearty  cheer. 

Pletts.  I  am  content  with1  the  expense  that  I  have  been  to 
von  already.  For  no  guest  can  be  thus  hospitably  entertained 
by  a  friend,  but  that  when  he  has  been  there  three  days 
running,  he  must  now  become  a  bore ;  but  when  lie  is  pro- 
longing his  stay  for  ten  successive  days,  he  is  a  nuisance  to 
the  household.  Although  the  master  willingly  allows  it,  the 
servants  grumble. 

Peeip.  I  have  trained  up  the  servants  that  are  in  my  ser- 
vice, my  guest,  not  to  rule  over  me,  or  for  me  to  be  obedient 
to  them.  If  that  is  disagreable  to  them  which  is  agreable  to 
me,  I  steer  my  own  course2 ;  that  which  they  don't  like  must 
still  be  done  at  their  peril,  and  whether  they  like  it  or  no. 
Now,  as  I  intended,  I  shall  go  to  market. 

Pleus.  If  you  are  resolved,  do  cater  somewhat  within 
bounds,  at  no  great  expense ;  anything  is  enough  for  me3. 

Peeip.  Won't  you  now4  have  done  with  that  old-fashioned 
and  antiquated  talk  ?  Now  surely,  guest,  you  are  using  the 
cant  of  the  vulgar5.     For  they  are  in  the  habit  of  saying, 

1  /  am  content  ivtth) — Ver.  740.  "  Nil  me  poenitet ;"  "  I  am  not  dissatisfied  with." 

2  Steer  my  own  course) — Ver.  747.  "  Meo  rem  remigio  gero ;"  literally,  "  I  carry- 
on  my  own  business  with  my  own  staff  of  rowers."  The  rowers  were  frequently 
slaves,  and  of  course  were  kept  in  strict  subordination.  He  alludes  to  the  re- 
gularity of  his  household,  where  everything  is  done  in  its  proper  time  and  place, 
and  the  promptness  with  which  he  is  in  the  habit  of  being  obeyed.  We  need 
hardly  remark  that  most  of  the  "  servi,"  or  "  servants,"  were  slaves. 

3  Is  enough  for  me) — Ver.  750.  "  Mihi  quidvis  sat  est"  seem  to  have  been  an 
antiquated  and  hackneyed  expression,  used  by  philosophers  and  old-fashioned 
people,  to  imply  their  habits  of  self-denial  and  frugality. 

4  Won't  you  now) — Ver.  751.  He  tells  him  to  have  done  with  such  stale  cant- 
Jig  expressions,  which  are  now  worn  threadbare,  and  have  descended  to  the  tables 
of  the  mob.  Indeed,  he  says  right,  for  nothing  can  be  more  annoying  than  pre- 
tended refusals,  and  bowings  and  scrapings,  where  they  are  merely  an  affectation 
oi  a  modesty,  humility,  or  self-denial  that  is  not  really  felt. 

5  Cant  of  the  vulgar) — Ver.  752.    The  "  proletarii "  were  the  poorest  class  oi 


i08  MILES  GLORIOS US;  Act  III, 

when  they  have  taken  their  places,  when  dinner  is  put  on 
table :  "  What  necessity  was  there  for  you  to  go  to  this  great 
expense  on  our  account  ?  Surely  you  were  mad,  for  this  same 
dinner  was  enough  for  ten  persons."  "What  has  been  pro- 
vided on  their  account  they  find  fault  with ;  they  eat  it  up, 
however. 

Pal.  Troth,  in  that  self-same  fashion  'tis  generally  done. 
How  clever  and  shrewd  is  his  discernment. 

Perip.  But  these  same  persons  never  say,  although  such 
an  abundance  has  been  provided,  "  Do  order  that  to  be  taken 
off ;  do  take  away  this  dish ;  remove  this  gammon  of  bacon, 
I'll  have  none  of  it ;  put  aside  that  piece  of  pork ;  this 
conger's  good1  when  cold;  remove  it, take  and  put  it  aside." 
Tou  hear  none  of  them  saying  this  in  earnest,  but  they 
stretch  themselves  out,  while  with  half  their  bodies2  on  the 
table,  they  are  indulging  their  appetite. 

Pal.  How  cleverly  the  good  soul  has  described  their  bad 
manners. 

Perip.  I  have  not  said  a  hundredth  part  of  what  I  could 
have  enlarged  upon  had  there  been  leisure  for  the  matter. 

Pal.  The  business,  then,  that  we  are  about — to  that  we 
ought  first  to  turn  our  thoughts.  Do  you  both,  now,  give 
me  your  attention.  I  have  need,  Periplecomenus,  of  your 
assistance ;  for  I  have  hit  upon  a  pleasant  trick,  how  this 
Captain  with  his  long  locks  may  be  fleeced  quite  close3,  and 
how  we  may  effect  a  means  for  Philocomasium,  and  this 
her  lover,  that  he  may  carry  her  off  hence,  and  have  her  as 
his  own. 

Perip.  I  wish  this  plan  to  be  imparted  to  me. 

Pal.  And  I,  wish  that  ring  of  yours  to  be  imparted  to  me. 

Perip.  For  what  purpose  is  it  to  be  used  ? 

the  free  citizens,  who,  according  to  Livy,  were  possessed  of  less  than  eleven  thou- 
sand "  asses,"  and  could,  serve  the  state,  not  with  money,  but  with  their  children 
(proles). 

1  This  conger's  good) — Ver.  760.  Lampreys  and  conger  eels  were  very  much 
esteemed  by  the  Romans.  Probably  the  conger  was  considered  best  when  eaten 
cold. 

2  Half  their  bodies) — Ver.  762.  This  would  be  the  more  easily  done  when  we 
remember  that  the  guests  were  reclining  on  the  "  triclinium,"  or  couch,  which 
was  above  the  level  of  the  table  on  which  the  viands  were  placed. 

3  Be  fleeced  quite  close) — Ver.  768.  By  his  mention  of  the  Captain's  long  locks, 
be  seems  to  intend  a  pun  on  the  word  "  admutilo,"  "  to  bamboozle"  or  "  cajole, 
*  hich,  literally,  signifies  to  "  clip,"  or  "  shave  close." 


SC.  II.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  109 

Pal.  "When  I  have  got  it,  I  will  impart  the  plan  of  my 
devices. 

Perip.  Take  and  use  it.     (Gives  him  the  ring.) 

Pal.  Take  from  me  in  return  the  plan  of  my  contrivance 
that  I  have  hit  upon. 

Perip.  "We  are  listening  to  you  with  most  attentive  ear. 

Pal.  My  master  is  such  a  shocking  rake  among  the  women, 
that  1  think  no  one  ever  was  his  equal,  nor  ever  will  be. 

Perip.  I  believe  the  same  as  well.  Pal.  He  boasts,  too, 
that  his  beauty  exceeds  that  of  Alexander1 ;  and,  therefore, 
he  says  that  all  the  women2  in  Ephesus  of  their  own  accord 
are  courting  him. 

Perip.  Aye,  faith,  many  there  are  who  could  wish3  that  you 
were  now  telling  an  untruth  about  him.  But  I  am  convinced 
full  well  that  it  is  as  you  say.  For  that  reason,  Paleestrio, 
do  compress  your  words  in  as  short  a  compass  as  ever  you 
possibly  can. 

Pal.  Can  you,  then,  find  any  woman  of  agreable  person, 
whose  mind  and  body  are  full  of  merriment  and  subtlety  ? 

Perip.  Free  by  birth,  or  bondwoman  made  free  ? 

Pal.  I  consider  that  a  matter  of  indifference,  so  that  you 
find  one  who  is  greedy  for  gain,  who  supports  her  body  by 
her  charms,  who  has,  too,  her  senses  all  awake ;  as  for  her 
heart,  that  cannot  be  so,  as  none  of  them  have  one. 

Perip.  Do  you  want  one  that  has4  taken  her  degrees,  or 
one  as  yet  a  novice  in  the  art  ? 

Pal.  One  sober  but  plump5,  a  juicy  bit ;  as  taking  a  one  as 
ever  you  can  find,  and  one  very  young. 

1  Of  Alexander) — Ver.  777.  "  Alexander,"  from  two  Greek  words,  signifying 
"  the  brave  man,"  was  one  of  the  names  of  Paris,  the  son  of  Priam,  who  was  re- 
markable for  his  beauty,  which  captivated  Helen. 

2  All  the  women) — Ver.  778.  The  Parasite  quizzes  him  upon  this  weak  point  in 
the  First  Act. 

8  Who  could  wish) — Ver.  779.  The  meaning  of  Periplecomenus  seems  to  be 
that  the  Captain  has  been  but  too  successful  in  his  intrigues,  and  that  many  a 
husband  could  wish  that  what  Palaestrio  says  were  false. 

*  One  that  has)—Yer.  787.  Some  Commentators  think  that  "  lautam"  here 
means  "  one  who  has  borne  children,"  and  who  has  bathed  (lautus  fuerit),  as  was 
the  custom  immediately  after  delivery.  As,  however,  Palaestrio  has  said  before  that 
the  female  required  must  be  a  Courtesan,  it  surely  could  not  matter  whether  she 
had  had  children  or  not.  It  probably  means  either  one  of  elegant  manners,  and  who 
has  made  good  use  of  her  experience,  in  contradistinction  to  a  novice,  who  is  a  mere 
raw  country  wench,  or  else  one  in  easy  circumstances,  and  not  a  mere  pauper. 

*  Sober  but  plump) — Ver.  787.  His  answer  is,  he  wants  to  find  a  woman  wh« 


ilO  MILES  GL0RI0SUS  ;  Act  III. 

Perip.  "Why,  I  have  one,  a  dependant  of  mine,  a  courtesan, 
a  very  young  woman.     But  what  is  the  occasion  for  her  ? 

Pal.  For  you  to  bring  her  home  at  once  to  your  house  as 
your  wife,  and,  for  that  reason,  to  bring  her  there  dressed  out, 
so  that  she  may  wear  her  locks  with  her  hair  arranged,  and 
fillets  after  the  fashion  of  matrons1,  and  may  pretend  that 
she  is  your  wife  ;  so  you  must  instruct  her. 

Perip.  I  am  at  a  loss  what  road  you  are  taking. 

Pal.  Well,  you  shall  know.  But  what  sort  of  a  maid  lias 
she  ? 

Perip.  She  is  a  rare  clever  one.  Pal.  We  have  need  of 
her  as  well ;  so  give  your  instructions  to  the  damsel  and  her 
maid,  to  pretend  that  she  is  your  wife  and  is  doting  upon  this 
Captain;  and  as  though  she  had  given  this  ring  to  her  maid, 
then  she  to  me,  that  I  might  deliver  it  to  the  Captain  ;  and  I 
must  be  as  though  it  were  a  go-between  in  this  matter. 

Perip.  I  hear  you  ;  don't  stun  my  ears  as  if  I  were  deaf. 

Pal.  I  myself  will  go  straightway  to  him  ;  I'll  say  that 
it  has  been  brought  and  delivered  to  me  from  your  wife,  in 
order  that  I  might  introduce  her  to  him.  He'll  be  distractedly 
longing  for  her  at  home,  a  scoundrel  that  cares  for  nothing 
else  whatever  but  intriguing. 

Perip.  If  you  had  commissioned  the  Sun  himself  to  search 
them  out,  he  couldn't  have  found,  better  than  myself,  two 
more  cleverly  suited  for  this  business.  Be  of  good  courage 
about  it. 

Pal.  Take  you  every  care  then.    There  is  need  of  despatch. 

{Exit  Periplecomenus. 

is  "  sicca,"  probably  in  the  sense  of  "  sober ;"  but,  as  the  same  word  means  "dry,' 
he  adds,  antithetically,  "  at  succidam,''  "  but  juicy,"  full  of  the  plumpness  and 
briskness  of  youth.  Scaliger  absolutely  thinks  that  "  sicca"  means  "  one  n:t 
given  to  the  habit  of  spitting." ! ! 

1  Thefushion  of  matrons) — Ver.  792.  The  "  vitta"  was  a  band  which  encir- 
cled the  head,  and  served  to  confine  the  tresses  of  the  hair.  It  was  worn  by 
maidens,  and  by  married  women  also,  among  the  Romans ;  but  that  assumed  on  the 
day  of  marriage  was  of  a  different  form  from  that  used  by  the  virgins.  It  was  not 
worn  by  women  of  light  character,  or  even  by  the  "  libertina:,"  or  liberated  female 
slaves ;  so  that  it  was  not  only  deemed  an  emblem  of  chastity,  but  of  freedom  also, 
Wiiits  and  purple  are  among  the  colours  of  the  "  vitta"  which  we  find  mentioned 


Sc.  IV.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  Ill 

Scene  III. 
Pal^istrio,  Pleusicles. 

Pal.  Now,  do  you  listen,  Pleusicles.  Pleus.  I  am  all  at- 
tention to  you. 

Pal.  Take  care  of  this.  When  the  Captain  comes  home, 
do  you  remember  not  to  call  Philocomasium  by  her  name. 

Pleus.  What  am  I  to  call  her  ? 

Pal.  G-lycera.  Pleus.  The  same,  you  mean,  that  was 
agreed  upon  a  little  time  since. 

Pal.  Hush ! — Be  off.  Pleus.  I'll  remember ;  but  still  I 
don't  know  what  use  it  is  to  keep  it  in  my  mind. 

Pal.  But- 1  will  tell  you.  at  the  time,  when  occasion  shall 
require.  Meanwhile,  be  quiet ;  so  that,  bye  and  bye,  when  he 
too  shall  be  acting  his  part1,  you  may,  on  the  instant,  be 
minding  your  cue. 

Pleus.  I'll  go  in  then.  Pal.  Go,  and  do  take  care  steadily 
to  follow  my  instructions.  (Pleusicles  goes  into  the  house 
of  Periplecomenus.) 

Pal.  What  mighty  turmoils  I  create !  What  mighty  en- 
gines 1  do  set  to  work!  This  very  day  I  shall  take  his 
mistress  away  from  the  Captain,  if  my  soldiers  are  only  well 
drilled3.  But  I'll  call  him  out.  {Goes  to  the  door  and  calls.') 
Hallo !  Sceledrus,  if  you  are  not  busy,  come  out  to  the  front 
of  the  house ;  I,  Palsestrio,  call  you. 

Scene  IV. 

Enter  LucRio/mm  the  Captain's  house. 

Lucr.  Sceledrus  is  not  at  leisure.     Pal.  Why  so  ? 
Lucr.  He's  fast  asleep,  gulping3.     Pal.  How,  gulping  ? 

1  Acting  his  part) — Ver.  811.  He  alludes  to  Periplecomenus,  who  has  just  left 
iiim. 

2  Are  only  well  drilled) — Ver.  815.  "  Manipularis"  was  a  term  applied  to  the 
common  soldiers  of  the  legion,  inasmuch  as  they  were  formed  into  small  compa- 
nies, marshalled  in  open  order,  called  "  manipuli."  Each  maniple  had  two  cen- 
turions, whose  duty  it  was  to  drill  their  men,  inspect  their  arms,  clothing,  and 
food,  visit  the  sentinels,  and  regulate  the  conduct  of  the  privates  both  in  the  camp 
and  in  the  field.  They  sat  as  judges  in  minor  offences,  and  had  the  power  of 
ordering  corporal  punishment,  whence  their  badge  of  office  was  a  vine  sapling 
''  Bene  centuriati"  consequently  means  here  "  well  drilled." 

3  Asleep,  gulping) — Ver.  818.  "  Sorbeo"  means  not  only  "  to  drink  up,"  but  to 
maKe  that  gulping  noise  in  snoring  which  is  produced  by  inhaling  the  breath  with 


112  MILES  GLORIOSUS  ;  Act  IIL 

Lucr.  He's  snoring,  'twas  that  I  meant  to  say :  but,  be- 
cause 'tis  very  like  gulping  when  you  are  snoring *     * 

#     #     #     #     # 

Pal.  What !     Is  Sceledrus  asleep  in-doors  ? 

Lucr.  Not  with  his  nose,  in  fact ;  for  with  that  he  is  call- 
ing  out  loud  enough. 

Pal.  He  has  taken  a  cup  by  stealth  ;  the  butler  has  lately 
tapped  a  cask  of  nardine1.  Oho !  you  rascal,  you  are  his 
deputy-butler2.     Oho ! 

Lucr.  "What  do  you  mean  ?  Pal.  How  has  he  thought  fit 
to  go  to  sleep  ? 

Lucr.  With  his  eyes,  I  suppose.  Pal.  I  don't  ask  you 
that,  you  vagabond.  Step  this  way :  you're  undone  now, 
unless  I  know  the  truth.     Did  you  draw  the  wine  for  him  ? 

Lucr.  I  did  not  draw  it.     Pal.  Do  you  deny  it  ? 

Lucr.  I'  faith,  I  do  deny  it  undoubtedly ;  for  he  charged 
me  not  to  tell.  I  really  didn't  just3  draw  for  him  eight  half 
pints  into  a  pitcher,  and,  when  drawn,  he  didn't  just  drink  it 
hot4,  at  his  breakfast. 

Pal.  And  you  didn't  just  drink  as  well?  Lucr.  The 
Gods  confound  me  if  I  did  drink — if  I  could  drink. 

Pal.  Why  so  ?  Lucr.  Because,  in  fact,  I  only  sipped ; 
for  it  was  too  hot ;  it  burnt  my  throat. 

the  mouth  open,  and  the  head  thrown  back.    Palsestrio  purposely  misunderstands 
him,  for  the  purpose  of  getting  a  confession  out  of  him. 

1  A  cask  of  nardine) — Ver.  824.  According  to  the  reading  here  adopted,  he 
guesses  that  Sceledrus  has  got  drunk  upon  some  nardine  wine,  that  had  been  lately 
tapped.  The  Romans  used  many  articles  for  flavouring  their  wines.  Spikenard, 
an  Eastern  aromatic,  is  here  referred  to.  Horehound,  squills,  wormwood,  ^nd 
myrtle-berries  were  used  for  making  medical  wines.  Cornels,  figs,  medlars,  roses, 
asparagus,  parsley,  radishes,  laurels,  junipers,  cassia,  cinnamon,  and  saffron, 
with  many  other  particulars,  were  also  used  for  flavouring  wines. 

2  His  deputy-butler) — Ver.  825.  Some  Commentators  take  this  passage  to  mean, 
that  Sceledrus  really  was  the  "promus,"  or  "butler;"  but  it  seems  more  pro- 
bable that  Palaestrio  says,  by  way  of  accusation,  "  Sceledrus  has  not  only  been 
acting  the  butler  on  this  occasion,  but  you  have  been  acting  as  his  deputy,  in 
secretly  helping  him  to  draw  it."  Lucrio  was  the  "  subcustos"  of  Sceledrus,  the 
"  deputy -keeper"  of  Philocomasium,  and  the  under-butler  as  well. 

3  Didn't  just) — Ver.  831.  He  adheres  to  his  promise  by  denying  it  in  words, 
but  in  such  a  way  as  to  make  a  full  confession  of  what  has  happened.  "  Hemina  * 
was  a  measure  among  the  Greeks  and  Romans  of  nearly  half  a  pint. 

f  Drink  it  hot) — Ver.  832.  It  has  been  already  remarked,  that  the  Romans 
were  much  in  the  habit  of  drinking  wine,  made  warm  and  mixed  with  spices.  The 
taking  it  at  "  prandium,"  about  twelve  in  the  day,  shows  how  Sceledrus  presumed 
on  the  office  of  trust  which  h;ui  b^e*^  conformd  upon  him. 


Sc.  IV.  THE  ERAGGART  CAPTAIN-  113 

Pal.  Some  are  gloriously  drunk,  while  others  are  drmking 
vinegar- water1.  The  cellar's  trusted  to  an  honest  butler,  as 
well  as  under-butler. 

Luce.  I'  faith,  you'd  be  doing  the  same,  if  it  was  en- 
trusted to  you.  Since  you  can't  follow  our  example,  you  are 
envious  now. 

Pal.  Come,  now,  did  he  ever  draw  any  wine  before  this  ? 
Answer  me,  you  rascal.  And,  that  you  may  understand  it,  I 
give  you  this  notice  :  if  you  purposely  tell  me  an  untruth, 
you  shall  be  put  to  the  torture. 

Luce.  Indeed  so  ?  That  you  may  inform,  forsooth,  that  1 
told  you ;  and  then  I  shall  be  turned  out  of  my  fattening 
post  in  the  cellar,  that  you  may  find  another  under-butler 
to  draw  for  your  own  self. 

Pal.  On  my  honour,  I  will  not ;  come,  speak  out  boldly 
tome. 

Luce.  By  my  troth,  I  never  saw  him  draw  any.  But  thus 
was  it ;  he  requested  me,  and  then  I  drew  it. 

Pal.  Think  of  that  now  !  very  frequently,  I  guess,  the 
casks  were  standing  on  their  heads2  there. 

Luce.  No,  faith,  the  casks  would,  not3  have  stood  so  very 
badly  there.  But  there  happened  to  be  in  the  cellar  a  bit 
of  a  slippery  spot ;  a  two-pint  pot  was  placed  there,  near  the 
casks,  in  this  fashion  {shows  the  way).     Frequently,  that  was 

1  Vinegar -water) — Ver.  836.  "  Posca"  was  the  name  of  the  mixture  of  vinegar 
and  water  which  constituted  the  drink  of  the  Roman  soldiers,  the  lower  classes, 
and  the  slaves.  Palsestrio  grumbles  on  finding  that  while  he  is  drinking  vinegar 
and  water  his  fellow-slave  is  enjoying  himself  on  mulled  wine. 

2  Standing  on  their  heads) — Ver.  851.  He  means  to  say  that  the  "  amphorae,'' 
no  doubt,  were  often  turned  bottom  upwards  for  the  purpose  of  pouring  out  their 
contents. 

3  The  casks  would  not)— Ver.  852.  The  whole  of  this  passage  is  of  somewhat 
obscure  signification.  The  two  lines  probably  mean,  "  The  casks  (cadi)  wouAl 
not  have  fallen  down  there  so  very  much,  had  it  not  been  that  one  part  of  the 
cellar  was  very  slippery  indeed."  He  then  shows  how  (sic)  the  pot  was  put 
close  by  the  casks,  so  that,  they  slipping  down,  it  was  filled  as  often  as  ten  times  in 
one  day ;  and  he  concludes  by  saying,  that  when  the  pot  acted  the  Bacchanal 
(debacchabatur),  the  casks  slipped  down  again.  Probably  by  acting  the  Bac- 
chanal he  moans  to  say  that  the  pot  got  filled  and  was  then  emptied,  just  like  the 
Bacchanals,  who,  doubtless,  were  not  particular  at  vomiting  a  part  of  the  enor- 
mous quantities  of  wine  which  they  imbibed ;  and  he  naively  tells  the  truth,  by  say- 
ing that  the  cask  slipping  was  the  result  of  the  pot  being  emptied,  and  so  laying 
the  fault  more  upon  the  pot  than  the  drinker. 


114  MILES  GL0R10SU3  ;  Act  III. 

filled  ten  times  in  a  day.  "When  the  pot  acted  the  reveller, 
the  casks  were  all  tottering. 

Pal.  Q-et  yon  gone  in-doors.  Both  of  you,  I  find,  are 
acting  the  revellers  in  the  wine-cellar.  I'  faith,  I  shall  fetch 
my  master  home  just  now  from  the  Forum. 

Ltjcr.  {aside).  I'm  ruined.  My  master,  when  he  cornea 
home,  will  have  me  tortured,  when  he  knows  of  these  doings. 
I'  faith,  I'll  fly  somewhither,  and  put  off  this  punishment  to 
another  day.  {To  the  Audience.)  Don't  you  tell  him1,  I  do 
entreat  you  most  earnestly.  {He  is  going.) 

Pal.  Whither  are  you  betaking  yourself?  Lucr.  I  am 
sent  elsewhere :  I'll  come  back  here  just  now. 

Pal.  Who  has  sent  you  ?     Lucr.  Philocomasium. 

Pal.   Gro;   be   back   directly.       Lucr.  If  it   is   divided, 

?rithee  do  you  only  take  my  share  of  the  punishment  while 
'm  away.  {Exit  Lucrio. 

Scene  V. 
Pal^strio,  alone. 
Pal.  So — I  understand  what  scheme  the  lady  is  upon. 
Because  Sceledrus  is  asleep,  she  has  sent  her  under-keeper 
away  out  of  doors,  whilst  she  may  pass  from  our  house  to 
next  door.  That's  all  right.  {Looks  down  the  street.)  But 
Peripleco menus  is  bringing  here  a  woman  of  very  comely 
appearance,  her,  for  whom  I  commissioned  him.  By  my  faith, 
the  Gods  are  helping  us  in  this  matter.  How  becomingly 
drest  she  struts  along2,  not  like  a  Courtesan.  This  business 
is  prospering  charmingly  in  our  hands.  {Stands  aside.) 

Scene  VI. 
Enter  Periplecomenus,  with  Acroteleutium  and 

MlLPHIDIPPA. 

Perip.  {as  he  advances).  I  have  explained  the  whole 
affair,  Acroteleutium,  to  you,  and,  Milphidippa,  to  you  as  well. 
If  you  don't  well  understand  this  device  and  plan,  I  wish  you 
to  hear  it  all  over  again.  If  you  comprehend  it  aright,  there 
is  something  else  that  we  may  speak  of  in  preference. 

1  Don't  you  tell  him)— Ver.  862.  These  occasional  addresses  to  the  Spectators, 
in  the  middle  of  the  dialogue,  were  made  in  the  same  spirit  and  for  the  same 
purpose  for  which  the  clown  on  our  stage  addresses  his  jokes  to  the  audience, 
namely,  to  provoke  a  hearty  laugh. 

1  She  struts  along)— Ver.  872.  By  the  use  ot  the  word  "  incf dit,"  !  e  pro 
bably  refers  to  the  assumed  stateliness  of  her  gait. 


Sc.  VI.  THE  P.EAOGABT  CAPTAIN".  115 

Aceot.  I'  faith,  it  would  be  folly,  and  ignorance,  and  fool- 
ishness, for  me  to  engage  in  the  service  of  another,  or  to 
promise  you  my  assistance,  if,  in  its  fabrication,  I  did  not 
know  how  to  be  either  mischievous  or  clever  at  deceiving. 

Peeip.  But,  'tis  better  for  you  to  be  instructed. 

Aceot.  Really  I  don't  understand  of  what  great  use  it 
is  for  a  Courtesan  to  be  instructed.  How  now !  have  I  told 
you  all  in  vain,  after  my  ears  had  drunk  in  the  draughts1  of 
your  discourse,  in  what  fashion  it  was  possible  for  the  Cap- 
tain to  be  cajoled  ? 

Peeip.  But  no  one,  unaided,  is  sufficiently  perfect;  for 
full  oft  have  I  seen  many  a  person  lose  the  road  to  good  ad- 
vice before  they  had  found  it. 

Aceot.  If  a  woman  has  anything  to  do  mischievously  and 
maliciously,  in  that  case  her  memory  is  immortal  at  remem- 
bering it  for  everlasting ;  but  if  anything  is  to  be  done  for  a 
good  purpose,  or  honestly,  it  will  fall  out  that  those  same 
women  will  become  oblivious  that  instant,  and  be  unable  to 
remember. 

Peeip.  Therefore  do  I  fear  that  same,  because  both  those 
things  happen  to  be  about  to  be  done  by  us  ;  for  that  will  be  a 
benefit  to  me  in  which  you  both  will  be  acting  mischievously 
towards  the  Captain. 

Aceot.  So  long  as  we  do  anything  that's  good,  not  know- 
ing it,  don't  you  fear.  No  woman  is  awkward  *  * 
*  *         *  Have  no  apprehensions,  they  are 

ready  for  the  worst. 

Peeip.  So  it  befits  you.     Do  you  follow  me. 

Pal.  {advancing).  Why  do  I  hesitate  to  go  and  accost 
them  ? 

Peeip.  Well  met,  and  opportunely,  Palsestrio.  See,  here 
they  are  whom  you  commissioned  me  to  bring,  and  in  the 
very  dress. 

Pal.  Well  done  :  accept  my  thanks.  I  am  glad  that  you 
have  come  safe.  I'  faith,  you  bring  them  nicely  dressed.  Pa- 
lsestrio salutes  Acroteleutium. 

Aceot.  Prithee,  who's  this,  that  calls  me  so  familiarly  by 
name  ? 

Peeip.  This  is  our  master-plotter.  Aceot.  Health  to  you, 
master-plotter. 

1  Drunk  in  the  draughts)— Ver.  883.  "  Loream."  The  true  meaning  of  this 
word  seems  to  be  "  a  leather  bottle."  If  it  is  the  correct  reading,  it  is  here  used 
oy  Metonymy  for  the  draught  which  it  contains. 

i2 


116  MILES  GL0RI0SUS  ;  Act  III. 

Pal.  And  health  to  you.  But,  tell  me,  has  he  any  way 
given  you  full  instructions  ? 

Perip.  I  bring  them  both  thoroughly  prepared. 

Pal.  I'd  like  to  hear  how.  I'm  afraid  lest  you  should  be 
making  some  mistake. 

Perip.  I  have  added  to  your  instructions  nothing  new  of 
my  own. 

Acrot.  I  suppose  you  wish  the  Captain,  your  master,  to 
be  gulled. 

Pal.  You've  said  what's  true. 

Acrot.  Cleverly  and  skilfully,  adroitly  and  pleasantly,  the 
whole  thing  is  planned. 

Pal.  In  fact,  I  wish  you  to  pretend  to  be  his  wife.  {Points 
to  Periplecomentts.) 

Acrot.  That  shall  be  done.  Pal.  To  pretend  as  though 
you  had  set  your  affection  on  the  Captain. 

Acrot.  And  so  it  shall  be. 

Pal.  And  as  though  this  affair  is  managed  through  me,  as 
the  go-between,  and  your  servant-maid. 

Acrot.  You  might  have  made  a  good  prophet ;  for  you 
tell  what  is  to  be. 

Pal.  As  though  this  maid  of  yours  had  conveyed  from 
you  this  ring  to  me,  which  I  was  then  to  deliver  to  the  Cap- 
tain, in  your  name. 

Acrot.  You  say  what's  true.  Perip.  What  need  is  there 
to  mention  these  things  now,  which  they  remember  so  well  ? 

Acrot.  Still,  it  is  better.  For  think  of  this,  my  patrbn  ; 
when  the  shipwright  is  skilful,  if  he  has  once  laid  down  the 
keel  exact  to  its  lines,  'tis  easy  to  build  the  ship,  when  * 
*  *  *  Now  this  keel  of  ours  has  been  skil- 

fully laid  and  firmly  placed ;  the  workmen  and  the  master- 
builders  are  not  unskilled  in  this  business.  If  he  who  fur- 
nishes the  timber1  does  not  retard  us  in  giving  what  is  needed, 
I  know  the  adroitness  of  our  ingenuity — soon  will  the  ship 
be  got  ready. 

Pal.  You  know  the  Captain,  my  master,  then  ? 

Acrot,  'Tis  strange  you  should  ask  me.     How  could  I 

1  Who  furnishes  the  timber) — Ver.  920.  Lambinus  has  thus  explained  tnia 
Metaphorical  expression.  The  ship  is  the  contrivance  for  deceiving  the  Captain; 
the  keel  is  the  main-plot  and  foundation  of  it ;  Periplecomenus,  Acroteleutium, 
*nd  her  servant,  are  the  workmen ;  Palsestrio  is  the  master-shipwright ;  whil« 
the  Captain  himself  is  the  "  materiarius,"  or  "person  that  supplies  the  timber." 


8c.  VI.  THE  BEAGGAET  CAPTAIN.  117 

not  know  that  scorn  of  the  public,  that  swaggering,  frizzle- 
headed,  perfumed  debauchee  ? 

Pal.  But  does  he  know  you  ?  Acrot.  He  never  saw  ine : 
how,  then,  should  he  know  who  I  am  ? 

Pal.  "lis  most  excellent  what  you  say.  For  that  reason, 
i'  faith,  the  thing  will  be  able  to  be  managed  all  the  more 
cleverly. 

Aceot.  Can  you  only  find  me  the  man,  and  then  be  easy 
as  to  the  rest  ?  If  I  don't  make  a  fool  of  the  fellow,  do  you 
lay  all  the  blame  on  me. 

Pal.  "Well,  go  you  in  then;  apply  yourselves  to  this 
business  with  all  your  skill. 

Aceot.  Trust  me  for  that1.  Pal.  Come,  Periplecomenus, 
do  you  conduct  them  at  once  in-doors.  I'm  off  to  the  Eorum  ; 
I'll  meet  him,  and  give  him  this  ring,  and  will  tell  him  that 
it  has  been  delivered  to  me  from  your  wife,  and  that  she  is 
dying  for  him.  As  soon  as  we  shall  have  come  from  the 
Porum,  do  you  send  her  (points  to  Milphidippa)  to  our  house 
as  though  she  were  privately  sent  to  him. 

Peeip.  We'll  do  so  ;  trust  us  for  that. 

Pal.  Do  you  only  attend  to  the  lusiness  ;  I'll  now  polish 
him  off  with  a  pretty  burden  on  his  back.  {Exit. 

Peeip.  G-o,  with  good  luck  to  you,  manage  the  matter 
cleverly.  {To  Aceoteleutium.)  But  now,  if  I  shall  manage 
this  adroitly,  that  my  guest  can  this  day  gain  the  mistress  of 
the  Captain,  and  carry  her  off  hence  to  Athens ;  if,  I  say, 
this  day  we  shall  succeed  in  this  plan,  what  shall  I  give 
you  for  a  present  ? 

Aceot.  *  *  *  *  *  if  now  the  lady  seconds 
our  efforts  on  her  part,  I  think  it  will  be  right  cleverly  and 
adroitly  managed.  When  a  comparison  shall  be  made  of  our 
artifices,  I  have  no  fear  that  I  shall  not  prove  superior  in 
the  cleverness  of  my  contrivances. 

Peeip.  Let's  go  in-doors,  then,  that  we  may  deeply  weigh 
these  plans,  that  carefully  and  cautiously  we  may  carry  out 
what  is  to  be  done,  so  that,  when  the  Captain  comes,  there 
may  be  no  tripping. 

Aceot.  You  are  delaying  us  with  your  talk.  {Tliey  go  into 
the  house  of  Peeiplecomenus.) 

1  Trust  me  for  that) — Ver.  929.  "  Alia  cura ;"  literally,  "  take  care  of  some- 
thing else ;  meaning,  '•  trust  us  in  the  present  instance,"  or,  as  Thornton  ex» 
presses  it,  "  never  fear  us." 


116  MILES  GLOEIOSTJS  ;  Act  IV. 

ACT    THE    FOTJETH. 

Scene  I. 

Enter  Pyegopolinices  and  Pal^strio. 

Pyeg.  'Tis  a  pleasure  what  you  do,  if  it  succeeds  agreably 
and  to  your  mind.  For  I  this  day  have  sent  my  Parasite  to 
King  Seleucus,  to  lead  those  soldiers,  that  I  have  levied,  hence 
to  Seleucus ;  in  order  that  they  may  defend  his  kingdom  till 
I  have  leisure  to  attend  in  person. 

Pal.  Why  don't  you  attend  to  your  own  concerns  rather 
than  those  of  Seleucus.  What  a  charming  new  proposal  is 
being  offered  to  you  through  me  as  the  negotiator. 

Pyeg.  Well  then,  I  lay  all  other  things  aside,  and  I  give 
my  attention  to  you.  Speak  out :  my  ears,  in  fact,  I  surren- 
der at  your  disposal. 

Pal.  Look  around,  then,  that  no  one  here  may  be  an  eaves- 
dropper for  our  discourse  ;  for  this  business  was  entrusted  me 
to  transact  with  you  in  private. 

Pyeg.  (looks  around).  There's  no  one  near.  Pal.  In  the 
first  place,  receive  from  me  this  pledge  of  affection.  (Gives 
him  the  ring?) 

Pyeg.  What's  this  ?     Whence  comes  it  ? 

Pal.  Prom  a  charming  and  a  handsome  lady,  one  who  loves 
you,  and  dotes  upon  your  extreme  beauty.  Her  maid  just 
now  gave  me  the  ring  that  I  might  then  give  it  to  you. 

Pyeg.  What  ?  Is  she  free  born  or  a  freed  woman,  made 
free  from  a  slave  by  the  Praetor's  rod1  ? 

Pal.  Pshaw !  Should  I  presume  to  be  the  bearer  of  a  mes- 
sage to  you  from  a  person  once  a  slave,  who  cannot  sufficiently 
answer  the  demands  of  the  free  women  who  are  longing  for 
you? 

Pyeg.  Is  she  wife,  or  is  she  widow  ? 

Pal.  She  is  both  wife  and  widow. 

Pyeg.  In  what  way  is  it  possible  for  the  same  woman  to 
be  a  wife  and  a  widow  ? 

Pal.  Because  she  is  a  young  woman  married  to  an  old 
man. 

1  By  tU  Prcetor's  rod)— Ver.  961.  "Festuca"  is  the  same  with  "  vindicta,* 
the  rod,  or  wand,  which  the  Pra;tor  used  to  lay  on  the  head  of  the  slave  when  h« 
was  made  free. 


Sc.  I.  TIIE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  119 

Ptrg.  That's  good.  Pal.  She  is  of  genteel  and  charming 
person. 

Ptrg.  Beware  of  misrepresenting.  Pal.  It  is  alone  worthy 
to  be  compared  with  your  own  charms. 

Ptrg.  By  my  faith,  you  make  her  out  to  be  a  beauty.  But 
who  is  she  ? 

Pal.  The  wife  of  that  old  gentleman,  Periplecomenus,  next 
door.  She  is  dying  for  you,  and  wishes  to  leave  him ;  she 
hates  the  old  fellow.  Now  she  has  begged  me  to  entreat  and 
beseech  you  that  you  will  give  her  your  support  and  assistance. 

Ptrg.  I'  faith,  I'm  ready  for  my  part  if  she  desires  it. 

Pal.  Doesn't  she  long  for  it  ? 

Ptrg.  What  shall  we  do  with  that  mistress  of  mine,  who  is 
at  my  house  ? 

Pal.  "Why,  do  you  bid  her  to  be  gone  about  her  business, 
wherever  she  chooses ;  as  her  twin-sister  has  come  here  to 
Ephesus,  and  her  mother,  and  they  are  come  to  fetch  her. 

Ptrg.  Ha  !  what's  that  you  say  ?  Has  her  mother  come 
to  Ephesus  ? 

Pal.  Those  say  so  who  know  it. 

Ptrg.  I'  faith,  a  charming  opportunity  for  me  to  turn  the 
wench  out  of  doors. 

Pal.  Aye,  but  do  you  wish  to  do  the  thing  handsomely  ? 

Ptrg.  Speak  out,  and  give  me  your  advice. 

Pal.  Do  you  wish  to  pack  her  off  forthwith,  that  she  may 
quit  you  with  a  good  grace  ? 

Ptrg.  I  do  so  wish.  Pal.  Then  this  is  the  thing  you 
must  do.  You  have  a  superabundance  of  wealth ;  bid  the 
woman  to  keep  as  a  present  for  herself  the  gold  and  trinkets 
which  you  have  supplied  her  with,  and  to  take  herself  off  from 
your  house  wherever  she  likes. 

Ptrg.  It  pleases  me  what  you  say ;  but  yet,  only  think,  if 
I  should  lose  her,  and  the  other  change  her  mind  ? 

Pal.  Pshaw !  you're  over  nice ;  a  lady,  that  loves  you  as 
her  own  eyes. 

Ptrg.  Ve  us  befriends  me.  Pal.  Hist !  hush !  the  door 
is  opening ;  come  this  way  a  little  out  of  sight.  (Milphi- 
dippa  comes  out  of  the  house  of  Periplecomenus.)  This  is 
ber  fly-boat — her  go-between,  that's  coming  out  there. 

Ptrg.  How  so— fly-boat  ?  Pal.  This  is  her  maid  that 
is  coming  ut  of  the  house,  she  that  brought  that  ring  which 
I  delivered  to  you. 


120  MILES  OLORIOSUS  ;  Act.  IY. 

Pyrg.  I'  faith,  she  too  is  a  prettyish  wench. 

Pal.  This  one  is  a  little  monkey  and  an  owl1  in  comparison 
with  the  other.  Do  you  see  how  she  hunts  around  with  her 
eyes,  and  goes  fowling  about  with  her  ears.  (They  stand  aside.) 

Scene  II. 
Enter  Milphidippa. 

Mil.  (as  she  enters).  My  Circus,  then2,  is  before  the  house, 
where  my  sports  are  to  take  place.  I'll  make  pretence,  as 
though  I  didn't  see  them,  or  knew  as  yet  that  they  are  here. 

Pyrg.  Hush !  let's  quietly  listen,  whether  any  mention  is 
made  of  me. 

Mil.  (aloud).  Is  there  no  one  near  at  hand  here,  to  attend  to 
another's  business  rather  than  his  own? — to  prowl  after3  me  to 
nee  what  I'm  about  ?  No  one  who  is  feeding  this  evening4  at 
his  own  expense  ?  I  dread  such  men  as  these,  lest  they  should 
now  come  in  the  way,  or  prove  an  hindrance  somehow,  should 
my  mistress  privately  pass  from  her  house  this  way,  who  is  so 
enamoured  of  his  person,  who  so  dotes  upon  this  very  charming 
man  with  his  exceeding  beauty — the  Captain  Pyrgopolinices. 

Pyrg.  And  doesn't  she  dote  upon  me,  too  ?  She  is  praising 
my  beauty. 

Pal.  I'  faith,  her  language  stands  in  need  of  no  ashes5. 

Pyrg.  For  what  reason  ?  Pal.  Why,  because  her  lan- 
guage is  clean  spoken  and  far  from  slovenly.  "Whatever  .she 
says  about  yourself,  she  handles  it  in  no  slovenly  way.  A  nd, 
then,  besides,  she  herself  is  a  very  pretty  and  a  very  dainty 
wench. 

1  And  an  owl) — Ver.  989.  "  Spinturnicium"  was  the  name  of  some  ugly,  ill- 
omened  bird ;  of*  what  kind  it  is  not  now  known. 

2  My  Circus,  then) — Ver.  991 .  This  is  an  allusion  to  the  Circus  at  Rome,  where 
the  public  games  were  exhibited. 

3  To  prowl  after) — Ver.  995.  "  Aucupo"  is  properly  applied  to  a  birdcatcher, 
or  fowler,  who  watches  his  nets. 

4  Feeding  this  evening) — Ver.  995.  "  Qui  de  vesperi  vivat  suo."  She  is  sup- 
posed to  mean  those  who  are  not  out  on  the  hunt  for  a  supper,  but  have  got 
one  of  their  own  at  home.  These  latter  persons,  she  thinks,  living  at  their  ease, 
and  not  having  to  satisfy  a  hungry  stomach,  are  likely  to  have  more  leisure  for 
prying  into  the  concerns  of  other  people,  than  those  who  are  put  to  their  shifts 
for  a  meal. 

5  In  need  of  no  ashes) — Ver.  1000.  He  says  that  she  is  so  very  clean  spokes 
Haute  et  minime  sordide)  that  she  needs  no  ashes  with  which  to  scour  her  words ;  the 
i(jure  being  derived  from  the  custom  of  scouring  brass  vessels  with  pounded  ashea. 


Sc.  II.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  121 

Ptrg.  Troth,  indeed,  she  has  made  an  impression  already, 
Palaestrio,  at  first  sight. 

Pal.  What !  before  you  have  seen  the  other  with  your 
eyes? 

Ptrg. 'What  I  see,  in  that  I  have  faith  for  myself;  for 
this  mackerel1,  in  the  absence  of  the  mullet,  compels  me  to  bo 
in  love  with  her. 

Pal.  I'  faith,  you  really  mustn't  be  falling  in  love  with 
ner,  she's  engaged  to  me.  If  the  other  weds  you  to-day, 
forthwith  I  shall  take  this  one  for  my  wife. 

Ptrg.  Why,  then,  do  you  delay  to  accost  her  ? 

Pal.  Follow  me  this  way,  then. 

Ptrg.  I  am  your  lackey  at  your  heels3. 

Mil.  (aloud) .  I  wish  that  I  had  an  opportunity  of  meeting 
him  on  account  of  whom  I  came  here  out  of  doors. 

Pal.  (accosting  her).  It  shall  be  so,  and  you  shall  have 
what  you  so  greatly  wish ;  be  of  good  courage,  don't  fear ; 
there  is  a  certain  person  who  knows  where  that  is  which  you 
are  seeking. 

Mil.  Who's  that  I  hear  at  hand?  Pal.  The  sharer  of 
your  plans  and  the  partaker  of  your  secrets. 

Mil.  I'  faith,  then,  what  I  do  conceal  I  don't  conceal. 

Pal.  Aye,  but  still  you  don't  conceal  it  this  way. 

Mil.  How  so  ?  Pal.  From  the  uninitiated  you  conceal 
them.     I  am  sure  and  trustworthy  to  you. 

Mil.  Give  me  the  sign,  if  you  are  one  of  these  votaries3. 

Pal.  A  certain  lady  loves  a  certain  gentleman. 

1  This  mackerel)— Ver.  1006.  The  "  lacerta"  was  probably  a  delicate  fish, 
whose  name  is  now  unknown,  but  not  so  much  so  as  the  "  mullus,"  the  M  grey 
mullet,"  which  was  very  highly  esteemed  by  the  Roman  epicures. 

2  Lackey  at  your  heels) — Ver.  1009.  "  Pedisequus."  The  "  pedisequi"  were  a 
class  of  slaves  at  Rome  whose  duty  it  was  to  walk  behind  their  master  when  he 
went  out  of  doors.  The  name  does  not  seem  to  have  been  given  to  every  slave 
who  followed  his  master,  but  they  belonged  to  a  class  which  was  almost  the  lowest 
in  the  slave  family. 

3  Of  these  votaries) — Ver.  1016.  "  Baccharum."  Literally,  "one  of  the 
"  Bacchae,"  or  "  votaries  of  Bacchus."  Only  those  were  admitted  to  the  rites  who 
had  been  duly  initiated.  These  had  a  sign  or  password  called  "  symbolum,"  or 
"  aiemoraculum,"  by  which  they  recognised  each  other,  and  thus  Milphidippa  asks 
Palaestrio  to  give  her  some  proof  that  he  is  the  right  person  for  her  to  address. 
This  pretended  caution  is  only  assumed  in  the  Captain's  presence,  in  order  tha 
better  to  impose  upon  him,  by  affecting  the  utmost  care  and  secrecy  in  th« 
matter 


122  MILES  GLOEIOSUS ;  Act  IV. 

Mil.  Faith,  many  ladies  do  that  indeed.  Pal.  But  not 
many  ladies  send  a  present  from  off  their  fingers. 

Mil.  Aye,  I  know  now.  You've  now  made  the  matter 
level  for  me  instead  of  steep.  But  is  there  a  certain  person 
here  ? 

Pal.  Either  he  is  or  he  is  not. 

Mil.  Come  aside  with  me  alone,  in  private. 

Pal.  For  a  short  or  for  a  lengthy  conversation  ? 

Mil.  For  three  words  only. 

Pal.  (to  Pyegopolinices).  I'll  return  to  you  this  in- 
stant. 

Pyeg.  What  ?  Shall  I  be  standing  here  in  the  meanwhile, 
with  such  charms  and  valorous  deeds,  thus  to  no  purpose  ? 

Pal.  Submit  to  it  and  wait;  for  you  am  I  doing  this 
service. 

Pyeg.  Make  haste  ;  I  am  tortured  with  waiting. 

Pal.  Tou  know  that  commodities  of  this  kind  are  only 
wont  to  be  reached  step  by  step. 

Pyeg.  Well,  well;  as  is  most  agreable  to  yourself. 

Pal.  (aside).  There  is  no  stone  more  stupid  than  this 
fellow.  I  now  return  to  you.  (To  Mil  hidippa.)  What 
would  you  with  me  ?    (Betires  with  her  to     distance.) 

Mil.  In  the  way  in  which  I  received  it  of  you  a  short 
time  since,  I  bring  you  back  your  clever  lot ;  my  story  is  as 
though  she  were  dying  with  love  for  him. 

Pal.  That  1  understand.  Do  you  commend  his  beauty 
and  his  appearance,  and  make  mention  of  his  prowess. 

Mil.  For  that  purpose  I  am  armed  at  all  points1,  as  I  have 
shown  you  before  already.  On  the  other  hand,  do  you  give 
all  attention,  and  be  on  the  watch,  and  take  your  cue2  from 
my  words. 

Pyeg.  Prithee  do  now,  in  fine,  give  n  e  some  share  in  the 
business  ;  step  this  way  this  instant,  I  beg. 

Pal.  {goes  up  to  him).  Here  I  am.  If  you  wish  for  aught, 
give  me  your  commands. 

Pyeg.  What  is  she  saying  to  you  ? 

Pal.  She  is  saying  that  her  mistress  is  lamenting,  and,  in 

1  Armed  at  all  points)— Ver.  1028.  "  Habeo  omnem  aciem."  Literally,  "  I  hav« 
all  my  troops  in  battle  array." 

2  Take  your  cue)— Ver.  1029.  "  Venator."  Literally,  "  hunt  out,"  or  "  act  tbj 
uunter's  part,"  probably  with  reference  to  starting  the  game. 


8c.  II.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  123 

tears,  is  tormenting  and  afflicting  herself  because  she  wishes 
for  you,  and  because  she  possesses  you  not ;  for  that  reason 
has  she  been  sent  here  to  you. 

Pyrg.  Bid  her  approach.  Pal.  But  do  you  know  how 
you  are  to  act  ?  Pretend  that  you  are  full  of  disdain,  as 
though  it  pleased  you  not ;  exclaim  against  me,  because  I 
make  you  so  common  to  the  mob. 

Pyrg.  I  remember,  and  I'll  follow  your  instructions. 

Pal.  I'll  call  her,  then,  who  is  inquiring  after  you. 

Pyrg.  If  she  wants  anything,  let  her  come. 

Pal.  Wench,  if  you  want  anything,  step  this  way. 

Mil.  {approaching).  Save  you,  charmer1.  Pyrg.  She  makes 
mention  of  my  surname.  May  the  Gods  grant  you  whatever 
you  may  desire. 

Mil.  To  pass  life  with  you  is  the  wish  of 

Pyrg.  You  are  wishing  too  much.  Mil.  I  am  not  speak- 
ing of  myself,  but  of  my  mistress,  who  is  dying  for  you. 

Pyrg.  Many  others  are  wishing  for  the  same  thing,  who 
have  not  the  opportunity. 

Mil.  By  my  troth,  'tis  not  to  be  wondered  at ;  you  set  a 
high  value  on  yourself — a  person  so  handsome,  and  so  illus- 
trious for  his  prowess,  and  so  valorous  in  his  deeds !  O  !  was 
there  ever  any  one  more  worthy  to  be  a  man  ? 

Pal.  {aside).  V  faith,  the  filthy  fellow  is  not  a  human  being ; 
indeed,  I  think  there  is  something  more  human  in  a  vulture2. 

Pyrg.  {aside).  Now  I  shall  make  myself  of  importance,  since 
she  so  praises  me  up.     {Struts  about.) 

Pal.  {aside).  Do  you  see  the  blockhead,  how  he  struts  ? 
{To  Pyrgopolinices.)  But  will  you  not  answer  her  ;  she  is 
the  woman  that's  come  from  the  lady  whom  I  was  mentioning 
just  now. 

Pyrg.  But  from  which  one  of  them  ?  For  there  are  so 
many  courting  me,  I  cannot  remember  them  all. 

Mil.  Prom  her  who  strips  her  own  fingers  and  adorns 
your  fingers  ;  for  I  delivered  to  him  {pointing  to  Pal^istrio) 
that  ring  from  her  who  is  sighing  for  you,  and  then  he  to  you. 

Pyrg.  Tell  me,  wench,  what  is  it  you  want  then  ? 

1  Cliarmer) — Ver.  1 038.  "  Pulcher."  "  Handsome  man."  This,  as  a  surname, 
would  not  sound  so  very  absurd  in  Roman  ears,  as  "  Pulcher"  was  a  surname  (cog- 
nomen) of  a  branch  of  the  Claudian  family. 

2  In  a  vulture)—  Ver.  1043.  He  probably  alludes  to  the  fact  of  the  vulture 
sometimes  carrying  human  flesh  in  its  maw 


124  MILES  GL0EI0ST7S ;  Act  IV. 

Mil.  That  you  will  not  despise  her  who  ia  sighing  for  you ; 
who  lives  now  but  in  your  life  :  whether  she  is  to  exist  or  not, 
her  hope  is  in  you  alone. 

Pyeg.  What  does  she  want  then  ?  Mil.  To  talk  with 
you,  to  embrace  you,  and  to  be  intimate  writh  you.  For  un- 
less you  bring  her  succour,  she  will  soon  be  quite  desponding 
in  her  mind.  Come,  my  Achilles,  let  that  be  done  which  I 
entreat ;  save  her,  charmer,  by  your  charming  ways.  Call 
forth  your  kind  disposition,  stormer  of  cities,  slayer  of  kings. 

Pyeg.  O !  by  my  troth,  'tis  a  vexatious  thing !  (To 
Paljesteio.)  How  often,  whip-scoundrel,  have  I  forbidden 
you  to  make  promises  of  my  attention  thus  common. 

Pal.  Do  you  hear  that,  hussy  ?  I  have  told  you  already, 
and  I  now  tell  you  again,  unless  a  fee  is  given  to  this  boar- 
pig1,  he  cannot  possibly  throw  away  his  attentions  in  any 
quarter. 

Mil.  A  fee  shall  be  given,  as  large  as  he  shall  demand. 

Pal.  He  requires  a  talent  of  gold,  in  Philippean  pieces. 
Less  he  will  take  from  no  one. 

Mil.  0,  by  my  troth,  but  that's  too  little,  surely. 

Pyeg.  By  nature  there's  no  avarice  in  me  ;  I  have  riches 
enough.  I'  faith  !  I've  more  than  a  thousand  measures2  full 
of  Philippean  gold  coins. 

Pal.  Besides  your  treasures.  Then,  of  silver,  he  has 
mountains,  not  ingots ;  JEtna  is  not  so  high. 

Mil.  (aside).  By  the  stars  !     0,  what  a  lie! 

Pal.  (to  Milphidippa,  aside).  How  rarely  I  am  playing 
him  off! 

Mil.  (to  Pal^steio,  aside).  And  I;  how  do  I  do  it? 
Ain't  I  gulling  him  ? 

Pal.  (aside).  Rarely.   Mil.  But,  prithee,  do  let  me  go  now. 

Pal.  (to  the  Captain).  But  do  you  give  her  some  answer, 
either  that  you  will  do  it,  or  that  you  won't  do  it.  "Why  cause 
this  poor  lady  so  much  anguish  of  mind,  who  has  never  de- 
served any  ill  of  you  ? 

Pyeg.  Bid  her  come  to  me  herself.  Tell  her  that  I  will  do 
everything  that  she  requires. 

Mil.  You  now  act  as  it  is  proper  for  you  to  act.  since  you 
wish  the  same  yourself  that  she  is  wishing. 

1  Boar-pig)  This  passage  is  somewhat  modified  in  the  translation. 
*  A  thousand  measures) — Ver.  1063.  The  "  modius"  was  a  Roman  measora, 
Mie-third  of  the  "  amphora."    It  contained  nearly  two  English  gallons. 


8C.  II.  THE  BBAGGABT  CAPTAIX.  125 

Pal.  (to  himself,  aside).  No  poor  faculty  of  invention  has  she. 

Mil.  Since  too  you  have  not  scouted  your  petitioner,  and 
have  suffered  me  to  prevail  upon  you.  (Aside  to  Pal^es- 
trio.)     How  now  ?     Haven't  I  played  him  off? 

Pal.  (aside  to  Milphidippa).  Faith,  I  couldn't  refrain 
from  laughing. 

Mil.  (aside  to  Pal^steio).  Yes  ;  and  for  the  same  reason 
I  turned  in  this  direction  away  from  you. 

Pyeg.  By  my  troth,  wench,  you  don't  understand  ho* 
great  an  honor  I  am  now  paying  her. 

Mil.  I  know,  and  I  shall  tell  her  so. 

Pal.  To  another  he  could  have  sold  his  favours  for  his 
weight  in  gold. 

Mil.  I'  faith,  I  believe  you  in  that. 

Pal.  Of  those  that  are  parents  by  him  true  warriors  are 
born,  and  his  sons  live  eight  hundred  years. 

Mil.  (aside  to  Pal^steio).  Fie  on  you  for  a  fibber  ! 

Pyeg.  Why,  straight  on,  from  age  to  age,  they  live  for  a 
thousand  years. 

Pal.  I  spoke  within  limits,  for  the  reason  that  she  mightn't 
suppose  I  was  telling  lies  to  her. 

Mil.  (aside).  I  burst,  I  die!  (Aloud.)  How  many  years 
will  he  live  himself  whose  sons  live  so  long  ? 

Pteg.  Wench,  I  was  born  the  day  after  Jupiter  was  borr 
of  Ops. 

Pal.  If  he  had  only  been  born  the  day  before  the  othei 
was,  he  would  have  had  the  realms  of  heaven. 

Mil.  (aside  to  Pal^steio).  Now,  now,  prithee,  no  more 
do  let  me  get  away  from  you,  if  I  can,  alive. 

Pal.  Why  don't  you  go  then,  as  you  have  your  answer? 

Mil.  I'll  go,  and  I'll  bring  her  here,  on  whose  behalf  I 
am  employed.     Is  there  aught  else  you  wish  ? 

Pyeg.  May  I  never  be  more  handsome  than  I  am  at  pre- 
sent ;  so  much  trouble  do  my  good  looks  cause  me. 

Pal.  Why  do  you  stay  now  ?     Why  don't  you  go  ? 

Mil.  I'm  going.  Pal.  (aside  to  Milphidippa).  And  tell 
her,  too,  do  you  hear,  cleverly  and  correctly,  what  has  'passed. 

Mil.  (to  Pal^steio).  So  that  her  very  heart  may  leap 
forjoy. 

Pal.  (aside  to  Milphidippa)    If  Philocomasium  is  theTfi; 


126  MILES  GLORIOSUS  ;  Act  IV 

tell  her  to  pass  through  into  our  house ;  that  the  Captain 
here. 

Mil.  {to  Pal^strio).  She  is  there  with  my  mistress 
for,  on  the  sly,  they  have  been  overhearing*  this  con 
versation. 

Pal.  {aside  to  Milphidippa).  'Twas  cleverly  done;  here- 
after they  will  take  their  cne  the  more  readily  from  this 
conversation. 

Mil.  {to  Pal^strio).  Tou  are  delaying  me.     I'm  off. 

Pal.  {to  Milphidippa).  I'm  not  delaying  you,  nor 
touching  you,  nor2 I'm  mum. 

Pyrg.  Bid  her  make  haste  to  come  out  here ;  we'll  give 
our  first  attention  to  this  matter  especially.  (Milphidippa 
goes  into  the  house  of  Periplecomenus.) 

Scene  III. 
Pyrgopolinices,  Pal^estrio. 

Pyrg.  What  do  you  advise  me  now  to  do,  Palaestrio, 
-about  my  mistress  ?  For  this  lady  can  by  no  means  be  re- 
ceived into  my  house  before  I  have  sent  the  other  away. 

Pal.  Why  consult  me  what  you  are  to  do  ?  So  far  as 
I  am  concerned,  I  have  told  you  by  what  method  that  can 
be  effected  in  the  gentlest  manner.  The  gold  trinkets  and 
female  clothing  with  which  you  have  furnished  her,  let  her 
keep  it  all  for  herself:  let  her  take  it,  be  off,  and  carry  it 
away :  tell  her  that  it  is  high  time  for  her  to  go  home ;  say 
that  her  twin-sister  and  her  mother  are  come,  in  company 
with  whom  she  may  go  straight  home. 

Pyrg.  How  do  you  know  that  they  are  here  P 

Pal.  Because,  with  my  own  eyes,  I've  seen  her  sister 
here. 

Pyrg.  Have  you  met  her  ?     Pal.  I  have  met  her. 

Pyrg.  And  did  she  seem  a  brisk  wench  ? 

Pal.  Tou  are  wishing  to  have  everything. 

Pyrg.  Where  did  the  sister  say  her  mother  was  ? 

Pal.  The  captain  that  brought  them  told  me  that  she  was 

1  Overhearing) — Ver.  1090.  Probably  at  the  upper  window,  next  door. 

2  Nor  touching  you,  nor) — Ver.  1092.  This  is  an  instance  of  Aposicpesia,  H. 
is  about  to  say  something  rude,  but  checks  himself. 


Sc.  III.  THE  BEAGGAET  CAPTAIN.  127 

in  bed,  on  board  the  ship,  with  sore  and  inflamed  eyes. 
This  captain  of  the  ship  is  lodging  with  them  next  door. 

Pteg.  And  he,  too,  is  he  a  very  fine  fellow  ? 

Pal.  Away  with  you,  if  you  please.  What  have  you1  to 
do  with  him  ?  You  have  your  hands  quite  full  enough  with 
the  women.     Attend  to  this  for  the  present. 

Pteg.  As  to  that  advice  you  were  giving  me,  I  wish  you 
to  have  a  few  words  with  her  upon  that  subject.  For,  really, 
a  conversation  on  that  subject  with  her  is  more  becoming' 
for  you. 

Pal.  What  is  more  advisable  than  for  you  to  go  yourself, 
and  transact  your  own  concerns  ?  You  must  say  that  it  is 
absolutely  necessary  for  you  to  marry :  that  your  relations 
are  persuading,  your  friends  are  urging,  you. 

Pyeg.  And  do  you  think  so?  Pal.  Why  shouldn't  I 
think  so  ? 

Pteg.  I'll  go  in,  then.  Do  you,  in  the  mean  time,  keep 
watch  here  before  the  house,  that  when  the  other  woman 
comes  out  you  may  call  me  out. 

Pal.  Do  you  only  mind  the  business  that  you  are  upon. 

Pteg.  That,  indeed,  is  resolved  upon.  For  if  she  will  not 
go  out  of  her  own  accord,  I'll  turn  her  out  by  force. 

Pal.  Do  you  take  care  how  you  do  that ;  but  rather  let  her 
go  from  your  house  with  a  good  grace3,  and  give  her  those 
things  that  I  mentioned.  The  gold  trinkets  and  apparel,  with 
which  you  furnished  her,  let  her  take  away. 

Pteg.  By  my  troth,  I  wish  she  would. 

Pal.  I  think  you'll  easily  prevail  upon  her.  But  go  in- 
doors ;  don't  linger  here. 

Pteg.  I  obey  you.  {Goes  into  his  house).  Pal.  {to  the 
Audience).  Now,  does  he  really  appear  to  be  anything  dif- 
ferent from  what,  awhile  ago,  I  told  you  he  was,  this  wench- 
ing Captain  ?  Now  it  is  requisite  that  Acroteleutium  should 
come  to  me,  her  maid  too,  and  Pleusicles.  O  Jupiter !  and 
does  not  opportunity  favour  me  in  every  respect  ?  For  those 
whom  I  especially  wished  to  see,  I  perceive  at  this  moment 
coming  out  here  from  our  neighbour's. 

1   What  have  you) — Ver.  1112.  This  passage  is  somewhat  modified  above. 

*  Tsmore  becoming)— Ver.  1116.  He  thinks  it  not  suitable  to  bis  dignity  to 
6peak  on  the  subject  himself,  and  therefore  wishes  to  put  the  task  upon  Palsestrio. 

»  With  a  good  grace)— Ver.  1125.  "Pergratiam  bonam."  "  Bona  gratia"  was 
«  legal  term  used  in  the  case  of  amicable  divorces  with  the  consent  of  both  partus 


128  MILES  GLOEIOSUS  ;  Act  IV. 


Scene  IV. 

Enter  Aceoteleutium,  Milphidippa,  and  Pleusicles 
from  the  house  o/'Peeiplecomencjs. 

Aceot.  Follow  me ;  at  the  same  time  look  around,  that 
there  may  be  no  overlooker. 

Mil.  Faith,  I  see  no  one,  only  him  whom  we  want  to 
meet. 

Pal.  Just  as  I  want  you. 

Mil.  How  do  you  do,  our  master-plotter  ? 

Pal.  I,  the  master-plotter  ?     Nonsense. 

Mil.  How  so  ?  Pal.  Because,  in  comparison  with  your- 
self, I  am  not  worthy  to  fix  a  beam  in  a  wall. 

Aceot.  Aye,  indeed  so.  Pal.  She's  a  very  fluent  and  a 
very  clever  hand  at  mischief.  How  charmingly  she  did 
polish  off  the  Captain. 

Mil.  But  still,  not  enough.  Pal.  Be  of  good  courage 
all  the  business  is  now  prospering  under  our  hands.  Only 
do  you,  as  you  have  begun,  still  give  a  helping  hand ;  for 
the  Captain  himself  has  gone  in-doors,  to  entreat  his  mis- 
tress to  leave  his  house,  with  her  mother  and  sister,  foi 
Athens. 

Pleus.  Very  good — well  done.  Pal.  Besides,  all  the 
gold  trinkets  and  apparel  which  he  himself  has  provided  foi 
the  damsel,  he  gives  her  to  keep  as  a  present  for  herself — 
so  have  I  recommended  him. 

Pleus.  Eeally,  it's  easily  done,  if  both  she  wishes  it,  and 
ho  desires  it  as  well. 

Pal.  Don't  you  know  that  when,  from  a  deep  well,  you 
have  ascended  up  to  the  top,  there  is  the  greatest  danger 
lest  you  should  thence  fall  back  again  from  the  top.  This 
affair  is  now  being  carried  on  at  the  top  of  the  well.  If  the 
Captain  should  have  a  suspicion  of  it,  nothing  whatever  of  his 
will  be  able  to  be  carried  off.  Now,  most  especially,  we 
have  need  of  clever  contrivances. 

Pleus.  I  see  that  there  is  material  enough  at  home  for 
that  purpose — three  women,  yourself  the  fourth,  I  am  the 
fifth,  the  old  gentleman  the  sixth. 

Pal.  What  an  edifice  of  stratagems  has  been  erected  by 
ua !     I  know  for  certain,  that  any  town  seems  as  thougL 


Sc.  IV.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  129 

it  could  be  taken  by  these  plans :  only  do  you  lend  your 
assistance. 

Acrot.  For  that  purpose  are  we  come  to  you,  to  see  if  you 
wish  for  anything. 

Pal.  You  do  what's  a  propos.  Now  to  you  do  I  assign 
this  department1. 

Acrot.  General,  you  shall  assign  me  whatever  you  please, 
so  far  as  I  am  capable. 

Pal.  I  wish  this  Captain  to  be  played  off  .cleverly  and 
adroitly. 

Acrot.  I'  faith,  you're  assigning  me  what's  a  pleasure  to 
me. 

Pal.  But  do  you  understand  how  ?  Acrot.  You  mean 
that  I  must  pretend  that  I  am  distracted  with  love  for  him. 

Pal.  Eight — you  have  it.  Acrot.  And  as  though  by 
reason  of  that  love  I  had  foregone2  my  present  marriage^ 
longing  for  a  match  with  him. 

Pal.  Everything  exactly  in  its  due  order;  except  only 
this  one  point ;  you  must  say  that  this  house  {pointing  to 
the  house  of  Periplecomentjs)  was  your  marriage-portion  : 
that  the  old  man  had  departed  hence  from  you  after  you  had 
carried  out  the  divorce,  lest  he  should  be  afraid  just  now  to 
come  here  into  the  house  of  another  man. 

Acrot.  You  advise  me  well.  Pal.  But  when  he  comes 
out  from  in-doors,  I  wish  you — standing  at  a  distance  there 
— so  to  make  pretence,  as  though  in  comparison  with  his 
beauty  you   despised  your  own,  and  as  though  you  were 

1  This  department) — Ver.  1159.  "  Impero  provinciam."  This  term  was  pro- 
perly applied  to  the  Senate  when  bestowing  a  province  upon  a  Proconsul  or  Pro- 
praetor. 

2 1  had  foregone)— Ver.  1164.  To  account  for  the  facility  with  which  the  pre- 
tended divorce  appears  to  take  place,  we  must  remember  that  among  the  Romans 
either  party  was  at  liberty  to  dissolve  the  tie  of  marriage.  Where  a  husband 
divorced  his  wife,  the  wife's  "  dos,"  or  marriage-portion,  was  in  general  restored 
to  her ;  and  the  same  was  the  case  where  the  divorce  took  place  by  mutual  consent. 
This  will  account  for  Acroteleutium  asserting  that  she  had  been  divorced  from 
Periplecomenus,  and  that  she  had  retained  possession  of  the  house  as  having  formed 
her  marriage-portion.  As  a  loss  of  affection  on  either  side  was  thought  to  consti- 
tute a  good  ground  for  divorce,  is  is  not  to  be  wondered  at  if  the  Captain  should 
believe  the  story  that  his  neighbour's  wife  had  obtained  a  divorce  on  account  of  hei 
passion  for  himself. 

K 


130  MILES  GLORIOSUS  ;  Act  IV 

struck  with  awe  at  his  opulent  circumstances ;  at  the  same 
time,  too,  praise  the  comeliness  of  his  person,  the  beauty  of 
his  face.     Are  you  tutored  enough  ? 

Aceot.  I  understand  it  all.  Is  it  enough  that  I  give  you  my 
work  so  nicely  finished  off  that  you  cannot  find  a  fault  with  it. 

Pal.  I'm  content.  JSTow  {addressing  Pleusicles),  in 
your  turn,  learn  what  charge  I  shall  give  to  you.  So  soon  as 
this  shall  be  done,  when  she  shall  have  gone  in,  then  do  \  ou 
immediately  take  care  to  come  here  dressed  in  the  garb  of  a 
master  of  a  ship.  Have  on  a  broad-brimmed  hat1  of  iron- 
grey,  a  woollen  shade2  before  your  eyes ;  have  on  an  iron-grey 
cloak3  (for  that  is  the  seaman's  colour)  ;  have  it  fastened  over 
the  left  shoulder,  your  right  arm  projecting  out4,  •  •  *  * 
*  *  *  your  clothes  some  way  well  girded  up,  pretend  as 
though  you  are  some  master  of  a  ship.  And  all  these  re- 
quisites are  at  the  house  of  this  old  gentleman,  for  he  keeps 
fishermen. 

Pleus.  Well,  when  I'm  dressed  out,  why  don't  you  tell 
me  what  I'm  to  do  then  ? 

Pal.  Come  here,  and,  in  the  name  of  her  mother,  bring 
word  to  Philocomasium,  that,  if  she  would  return  to  Athens, 
she  must  go  with  you  to  the  harbour  directly,  and  that  she 

1  A  broad-brimmed  hat) — Ver.  1178.  "  Causia."  See  the  note  to  1.  851  of  the 
"  Trinummus." 

2  A  woollen  shade) — Ver.  1178.  "  Culcitam  laneam."  The  "culcita"  here 
alluded  to  was  a  little  cushion  padded  with  wool,  which  was  placed  before  weak  or 
diseased  eyes  to  absorb  the  moisture.  It  is  supposed  to  have  been  either  bound 
against  the  part  affected,  or  else  to  have  been  held  in  the  hand  and  applied  every 
now  and  then.  Commentators  seem  to  think  that  here  Pleusicles  holds  it  up  to 
his  eye  with  his  hand  when  addressing  the  Captain.  They  are  at  a  loss  to  know 
why  Palaestrio  recommends  this,  as  the  Captain  has  never  seen  Pleusicles,  who 
was  at  Naupactus  when  Philocomasium  was  carried  off.  Still,  though  it  is  not 
mentioned,  it  may  be,  because  the  Captain  had  seen  Pleusicles  before  he  went  to 
Naupactus ;  or,  what  is  more  probable,  that,  affecting  to  have  weak  eyes,  Pleusicles 
may  not  appear  so  comely  as  he  really  is,  and  not  thereby  excite  any  suspicion  in 
the  Captain's  mind  as  to  his  intentions. 

3  An  iron-grey  cloak) — Ver.  1179.  Some  think  that  the  "  ferrugineus,"  or  iron 
colour,  here  called  "colos  thalassinus,"  or  "the  sea -colour,"  was  dark  blue,  but 
dark  grey  seems  more  probable,  as  the  shades  of  blue  were  too  expensive  for 
common  wear. 

4  Right  arm  projecting  out) — Ver.  1180.  This  no  doubt  was  the  way  in  winch 
the  "  pallium"  was  usually  worn  by  seafaring  men,  for  the  sake  of  expedition,  and 
in  crdcr  to  give  free  play  to  the  right  arm  when  aboard  ship. 


Se.  V.  THE  BEAGGAET  CAPTAIN.  133. 

must  order  it  to  be  carried  down  to  the  ship  if  she  wishes 
anything  to  be  put  on,  board ;  that  if  she  doesn't  go,  you 
must  weigh  anchor,  for  the  wind  is  favourable. 

Pleus.  I  like  your  plan  much :  do  proceed. 

Pal..  The  Captain  will  at  once  advise  her  to  go  speedily, 
that  she  may  not  delay  her  mother. 

Pleus.  Every  way  you  are  clever.  Pal.  I  shall  tell  him 
that  she  asks  for  me  as  a  helper  to  carry  her  baggage  down  to 
the  harbour.  I  shall  go,  and,  understand  you,  I  shall  im- 
mediately be  off  with  you  straight  to  Athens. 

Pleus.  And  when  you  have  reached  there,  I'll  never  let 
you  be  ashore  three  days  before  you're  free. 

Pal.  Be  off  speedily  and  equip  yourself. 

Pleus.  Is  there  anything  besides  ?  Pal.  Only  to  remem- 
ber all  this. 

Pleus.  I'm  off.  {Exit.)  Pal.  And  do  you  {to  Aceote- 
leutium  and  Milphidippa)  be  off  hence  in-doors  this  in- 
stant, for  I'm  quite  sure  that  he'll  just  now  be  coming  out 
hence  from  in-doors. 

Aceot.  With  us  your  command  is  as  good  as  law. 

Pal.  Come,  then,  begone.  But  see,  the  door  opens  oppor- 
tunely.    {The  women  go  into  the  house  of  Peeiplecomenus.) 

Scene  V. 
Enter  Pyegopollnices^ottc  his  house. 

Pyeg-.  "What  I  wished  I  have  obtained  just  as  I  wished,  on 
kind  and  friendly  terms,  that  she  would  leave  me. 

Pal.  For  what  reason  am  I  to  say  that  you  have  been  bo 
long  in-doors  ? 

Pyeg.  I  never  was  so  sensible  that  I  was  beloved  by  that 
woman  as  now. 

Pal.  Why  so  ?  Pyeg.  How  many  words  she  did  utter  \ 
Sow  the  matter,  was  protracted !  But  in  the  end  I  obtained 
what  I  wanted,  and  I  granted  her  what  she  wanted  and  what 
she  asked  of  me.     I  made  a  present  of  you  also  to  her. 

Pal.  What — me,  too  ?  In  what  way  shall  I  exist  with- 
out you  ? 

Pyeg.  Come,  be  of  good  heart ;  I'll  make  you  free  from 
her,  too.  But  I  used  all  endeavours,  if  I  could  by  any 
method  persuade  her  to  go  away,  and  not  take  you  with  her/ 
she  forced  me,  however. 

K2 


132  MILES  GLOEIOSIJS  ;  Act  IV" 

Pal.  In  the  Gods  and  yourself  I'll  place  my  trust.  Yet, 
at  the  last,  although  it  is  bitter  to  me  that  I  must  be  deprived 
of  an  excellent  master,  yourself,  at  least  it  is  a  pleasure  to 
me  that,  through  my  means,  by  reason  of  the  excellence 
of  your  beauty,  this  has  happened  to  you  with  regard  to 
this  lady  neighbour,  whom  I  am  now  introducing  to  you. 

Pybg.  What  need  of  words  ?  I'll  give  you  liberty  and 
wealth  if  you  obtain  her  for  me. 

Pal.  I'll  win  her.     Pyeg.  But  I'm  impatient. 

Pal.  But  moderation  is  requisite ;  curb  your  desires ; 
don't  be  over  anxious.  But  see,  here  she  is  herself;  she  is 
coming  out  of  doors. 

Scene  VI. 

Enter  Aceoteleutium  and  MiLPHiDiPPA/rom  the  house  oj 

Pebiplecomenus. 

Mil.  (in  a  low  voice).  Mistress,  see!  the  Captain's  near. 

Aceot.  (in  a  low  voice).  Where  is  he  ?  Mil.  Only  look 
to  the  left.  Eye  him  askance,  that  he  mayn't  perceive  that 
we  are  looking  at  him. 

Aceot.  I  see  him.  Troth,  now's  the  time,  in  our  mis- 
chief, for  us  to  become  supremely  mischievous. 

Mil.  "lis  for  you  to  begin.  Aceot.  (aloud).  Prithee,  did 
you  see  him  yourself  ?  (Aside.)  Don't  spare  your  voice,  so 
that  he  may  hear. 

Mil.  (aloud).  By  my  troth,  I  talked  with  his  own  self,  at 
my  ease,  as  long  as  I  pleased,  at  my  leisure,  at  my  own  dis- 
cretion, just  as  I  wished. 

Pyeg.  (to  Pal^steio).  Do  you  hear  what  she  says? 

Pal.  (to  Pyegopolinices).  I  hear.  How  delighted  she  is 
because  she  had  access  to  you. 

Aceot.  (aloud).  O  happy  woman  that  you  are  ! 

Pyeg.  How  I  do  seem  to  be  loved ! 

Pal.  You  are  deserving  of  it.  Mil.  (aloud).  By  my  troth, 
'tis  passing  strange  what  you  say,  that  you  had  access  to  him 
and  prevailed.  They  say  that  he  is  usually  addressed,  like  a 
king,  through  letters  or  messengers. 

Mil.  (aloud).  But,  i'  faith,  'twas  with  difficulty  I  had  an 
opportunity  of  approaching  and  beseeching  him. 

Pal.  (to  Pyegopolinices).  How  renowned  you  are  among 
the  fair 


Sc.  VI.  TIIE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  133 

Pyrg.  (to  Paljestrio).  I  shall  submit,  since  Venus  wills 
it  so. 

Acrot.  (aloud) .  By  heavens  !  I  return  to  Venus  grateful 
thanks,  and  her  I  do  beseech  and  entreat,  that  I  may  win. 
him  whom  I  love  and  whom  I  seek  to  win,  and  that  to  me  he 
may  prove  gentle,  and  not  make  a  difficulty  about  what  I 
desire. 

Mil.  (aloud).  I  hope  it  may  be  so  ;  although  many  ladies 
are  seeking  to  win  him  for  themselves,  he  disdains  them  and 
estranges  himself  from  all  but  you  alone. 

Acrot.  (aloud).  Therefore  this  fear  torments  me,  since  he 
is  so  disdainful,  lest  his  eyes,  when  he  beholds  me,  should 
change  his  sentiments,  and  his  own  gracefulness  should  at 
once  disdain  my  form. 

Mil.  (aloud).  He  will  not  do  so  ;  be  of  good  heart. 

Ptrg.  (to  Pal^strio).  How  she  does  slight  herself! 

Acrot.  (aloud).  I  fear  lest  your  account  may  have  sur- 
passed my  looks. 

Mil.  (aloud.)  I've  taken  care  of  this,  that  you  shall  be 
fairer  than  his  expectations. 

Acrot.  (aloud).  Troth,  if  he  shall  refuse  to  take  me  as  his 
wife,  by  heavens  I'll  embrace  his  knees  and  entreat  him ! 
If  I  shall  be  unable  to  prevail  on  him,  in  some  way  or  other, 
I'll  put  myself  to  death.  I'm  quite  sure  that  without  him  I 
cannot  live. 

Ptrg.  (to  Pal^strio).  I  see  that  I  must  prevent  this 
woman's  death.     Shall  I  accost  her  ? 

Pal.  By  no  means  ;  for  you  will  be  making  yourself  cheap 
if  you  lavish  yourself  away  of  your  own  accord.  Let  her  come 
spontaneously,  seek  you,  court  you,  strive  to  win  you.  Un- 
less you  wish  to  lose  that  glory  which  you  have^  please 
have  a  care  what  you  do.  For  I  know  that  this  was  never 
the  lot  of  any  mortal,  except  two  persons,  yourself  and  Phaon 
of  Lesbos1,  to  be  loved  so  desperately. 

Acrot.  (aloud).  I'll  go  in-doors^ — or,  my  dear  Milphi- 
dippa,  do  you  call  him  out  of  doors. 

1  Phaon  of  Lesbos) — Ver.  1247.  Sappho,  the  poetess,  was  enamoured  of  Phaon 
the  Lesbian.  When  he  deserted  her,  she  threw  herself  from  the  Leucadian  pro- 
montory or  Lover's  Leap,  which  was  supposed  to  provide  a  cure  for  unrequited 
love.  Her  death  was  the  consequence.  See  her  Epistle  to  Phaon,  the  twenty-first 
of  the  Heroides  of  Ovid. 

2  rilgo  in-doors)—VeT.  1248.  It  must  be  remembered,  that  all  this  time  thei 


134  MILES  GL0RI0SUS  ;  Act  IV, 

Mil.  (aloud).  Aye;  let's  wait  until  some  one  comes  out. 

Acrot.  {aloud).  I  can't  restrain  myself  from  going  in  to 
him. 

Mil.  (aloud).  The  door's  fastened.  Acrot.  (aloud).  I'll 
break  it  in  then. 

Mil.  (aloud).  You  are  not  in  your  senses. 

Acrot.  (aloud).  If  he  has  ever  loved,  or  if  he  has  wisdom 
equal  to  his  beauty,  whatever  I  may  do  through  love,  he  will 
pardon  me  by  reason  of  his  compassionate  feelings. 

Pal.  (to  Pyrgopolinices).  Prithee,  do  see,  how  distracted 
the  poor  thing  is  with  love. 

Pyrg.  (to  Pal^strio).  'Tis  mutual  in  us.  Pal.  Hush  ! 
Don't  you  let  her  hear. 

Mil.  (aloud).  Why  do  you  stand  stupefied?  Why  don't 
you  knock  ? 

Acrot.  (aloud).  Because  he  is  not  within  whom  I  want. 

Mil.  (aloud).  How  do  you  know1  ?  Acrot.  (aloud).  By 
my  troth,  I  do  know  it  easily  ;  for  my  nose  would  scent  him 
if  he  were  within. 

Pyrg.  (to  Pal^strio).  She  is  a  diviner.  Because  she  is 
:n  love  with  me,  Venus  has  made  her  prophesy. 

Acrot.  (aloud).  He  is  somewhere  or  other  close  at  hand 
whom  I  do  so  long. to  behold.     I'm  sure  I  smell  him. 

Pyrg.  (to  Pal^strio).  Troth,  now,  she  really  sees  better 
vi-ith  her  nose  than  with  her  eyes. 

Pal.  (to  Pyrgopolinices).  She  is  blind  from  love.  Acrot. 
(aloud).  Prithee,  do  support  me. 

Mil.  (aloud).  Why?  Acrot.  (aloud).  Lest  I  should 
tall. 

Mil.  (aloud).  Why?  Acrot.  (aloud).  Because  I  cannot 
stand ;  my  senses — my  senses  are  sinking  so  by  reason  of  my 
eyes. 

Mil.  (aloud).  Heavens!  you've  seen  the  Captain. 

Acrot.  (aloud).  I  have.  Mil.  (aloud).  I  don't  see  him. 
Where  is  he  ? 

liave  pretended  not  to  see  Palaestrio  or  his  master.  Milphidippa  cautioned  her 
mistress  only  to  take  a  side-glance  at  him  (limis),  after  which  they  have,  probably 
turned  their  backs. 

1  How  do  you  know) — Ver.  1255.  In  Ritschel's  edition,  these  words  are  attri- 
onted  to  Palaestno.  This  is  clearly  a  mistake,  for  Palaestrio  has  not  yet  joined  ia 
their  conversation.    He  and  his  master  are  listening  to  what  they  say. 


Sc.   VI.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  135 

Acrot.. (aloud).  Troth,  you  would  see  him  if  you  were  iu 
Love. 

Mil.  (aloud).  T  faith,  you  dou't  love  him  more  than  I  do 
myself,  with  your  good  leave. 

Pal.  (to  Pyrgopolinices).  No  doubt  all  of  the  women,  as 
soon  as  each  has  seen  you,  are  in  love  with  you. 

Pyrg.  (to  Pal^strio).  I  don't  know  whether  you  have 
heard  it  from  me  or  not ;  I'm  the  grandson  of  Venus. 

Acrot.  (aloud).  My  dear  Milphidippa,  prithee  do  ap- 
proach and  accost  him. 

Pyrg.  (to  Paljestrio).  How  she  does  stand  in  awe  of  me ! 

Pal.  (to  Pyrgopolinices).  She  is  coming  towards  us. 

Mil.  (advancing).  I  wish  to  speak  with  you. 

Pyrg.  And  we  with  you.  Mil.  I  have  brought  my  mis- 
tress out  of  the  house,  as  you  requested  me.  • 

Pyrg.  So  I  see.     Mil.  Request  her,  then,  to  approach. 

Pyrg.  Since  you  have  entreated  it,  I  have  prevailed  upon 
my  mind  not  to  detest  her  just  like  other  women. 

Mil.  I'  faith  she  wouldn't  be  able  to  utter  a  word  if  she 
were  to  come  near  you ;  while  she  was  looking  at  you,  her 
eyes  have  in  the  meantime  tied  her  tongue. 

Pyrg.  I  see  that  this  woman's  disorder  must  be  cured. 
•    Mil.  See  how  terrified  she  is  since  she  beheld  you. 

Pyrg.  Even  armed  men  are  the  same  ;  don't  wonder  at  a 
woman  being  so.     But  what  does  she  wish  me  to  do  ? 

Mil.  You  to  come  to  her  house ;  she  wishes  to  live  and 
to  pass  her  life  with  you. 

Pyrg.  What ! — I  come  home  to  her,  when  she  is  a  mar- 
ried woman  ?     Her  husband  is  to  be  stood  in  fear  of. 

Mil.  Why, — for  your  sake,  she  has  turned  her  husband 
out  of  her  house. 

Pyrg.  How  ?     How  could  she  do  so  ? 

Mil.  The  house  was  her  marriage- portion. 

Pyrg.  Was  it  so  ?     Mil.  It  was  so,  on  my  word. 

Pyrg.  Bid  her  go  home  ;  I'll  be  there  just  now. 

Mil.  Take  care,  and  don't  keep  her  in  expectation  ;  don't 
torment  her  feelings. 

Pyrg.  Not  I,  indeed.  Do  you  go  then.  Mil.  We  are 
going.  (Acroteletjtium  an d  Milphidippa  go  into  the  house 
of  Periplecomentjs.) 

Pyrg.  But  what  do  J  see  ?     Pal.  What  do  you  see  ? 


136  MILES  GLORIOSTJS  ;  Act  IV. 

Pyrg.  See  there,  some  one  is  coming,  I  know  not  who, 
but  in  a  sailor's  dress. 

Pal.  He  is  surely  wanting  us,  now ;  really,  it  is  the  ship- 
master. 

Pyrg.  He's  come,  I  suppose,  to  fetch  her. 

Pal.  I  fancy  so. 

Scene  VII. 
Enter  Pleusicles,  at  a  distance,  in  a  Sailor's  dress. 

Pleus.  (to  himself).  Did  I  not  know  that  another  man  in 
other  ways  has  done  many  a  thing  unbecoming^  on  account 
of  love,  I  should  be  more  ashamed  by  reason  of  love  for  me  to 
be  going  in  this  garb.  But  since  I  have  learned  that  many  per- 
sons by  reason  of  love  have  committed  many  actions,  dis- 
graceful and  estranged  from  what  is  good,    *****   for 

I  pass  by  how  Achilles  suffered1  his  comrades  to  be  slain 

But  there's  Palaestrio,  he's  standing  with  the  Captain. 
My  talk  must  now  be  changed  for  another  kind.  Woman 
is  surely  born  of  tardiness  itself.  For  every  other  delay, 
which  is  a  delay  just  as  much,  seems  a  less  delay  than  that 
which  is  on  account  of  a  woman.  I  really  think  that  this  is 
done  merely  from  habit.  But  I  shall  call  for  this  Philoco- 
masium.  I'll  knock  at  the  door  then.  Hallo !  is  there  any* 
one  here  ?     (Knocks  at  the  Captain's  door.) 

Pal.  Young  man — what  is  it  ?  "What  do  you  want  ? 
"Why  are  you  knocking  ? 

Pleus.  I'm  come  to  inquire  for  Philocomasium  ;  I'm  come 
from  her  mother.  If  she's  for  going,  let  her  set  off.  She  is 
delaying  us  all ;  we  wish  to  weigh  anchor. 

Pyrg.  Her  things  have  been  some  time  in  readiness. 
Hearkye,  Palasstrio,  take  some  assistants  with  you  to  carry 
to  the  ship  her  golden  trinkets,  her  furniture,  apparel,  ail 
her  precious  things.  All  the  articles  are  already  packed  up 
which  I  gave  her. 

Pal.  I'll  go.  (Goes  into  the  house)  Pleus.  Troth  now, 
prithee,  do  make  haste. 

Pyrg.  There  shall  be  no  delay.  Pray,  what  is  it  that  has 
been  done2  with  your  eye  ? 

1  Achilles  suffered) — Ver.  1289.  This  was  when  he  withdrew  from  the  warfare 
on  being  deprived  of  Briseis  by  Agamemnon,  on  which  occasion  Hector  made 
great  havoc  among  the  Grecian  forces. 

«  That  has  been  done)— Ver  1306.  He  asks  "  what  has  been  done  with  "  or  "  be- 


SC.  VIII.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  137 

Pletts.  Troth,  but  I  have  my  eye.  (Points  to  the  right  one.) 
Pyrg.  But  the  left  oue  I  mean.  • 

Pleus.  I'll  tell  you.     On  account  of  the  sea,  I  use  this 
eye  less ;  but  if  I  kept  away  from   the  sea1,  I  should  use 
the  one  like  the  other.     But  they  are  detaining  me  too  long. 
Ptrg.  See,  here  they  are  coming  out. 

Scene  VIII. 

Enter  Pal^strio  and  Philocomasium /row  the  Captain's 
house. 

Pal.  (to  Philocomasium).  Prithee,  when  will  you  this 
day  make  an  end  of  your  weeping  ? 

Phil.  What  can  I  do  but  weep  ?  I  am  going  away 
hence  where  I  have  spent  my  days  most  happily. 

Pal.  See,  there's  the  man  that  has  come  from  your 
mother  and  sister  (pointing  to  Pleusicles). 

Phil.  I  see  him.     Ptrg.  Palaestrio,  do  you  hear  ? 

Pal.  "What  is  your  pleasure  ?  Ptrg.  Aren't  you  order- 
ing those  presents  to  be  brought  out  which  I  gave  her  ? 

Pleus.  Health  to  you,  Philocomasium.  Phil.  And  health 
to  you. 

Pleus.  Tour  mother  and  sister  bade  me  give  their  love 
to  you. 

Phil.  Heaven  prosper  them.  Pleus.  They  beg  you  to 
set  out,  so  that,  while  the  wind  is  fair,  they  may  set  sail. 
But  if  your  mother's  eyes  had  been  well,  she  would  have 
come3  together  with  me. 

Phil.  I'll  go ;  although  I  do  it  with  regret — duty  compels 
me. 

Pleus.  Tou  act  wisely.  Ptrg.  If  she  had  not  been  passing 
her  life  with  myself,  this  day  she  would  have  been  a  blockhead. 

come  of,"  his  eye  ?  On  which  Pleusicles  tells  him,  by  way  of  a  quibble,  that  he  has 
got  his  eye,  alluding  to  the  right  one,  while  the  Captain  refers  to  the  left,  against 
which  the  "  lectica"  is  placed. 

1  From  the  sea) — Ver.  1309.  There  is  a  pun  here,  which  cannot  be  preserved 
in  the  translation.  "  Si  abstinuissem  a  mare,"  "  If  I  kept  away  from  the  sea," 
may  also  be  read,  "  Si  abstinuissem  amare,"  "  If  I  refrained  from  loving."  The 
Captain  understands  him  in  the  former  sense,  thinking  that  he  means  that  he 
has  got  a  disease  in  his  eye,  which  may  be  increased  by  leading  a  seafaring  life. 

*She  would  have  come) — Ver.  1318.  Thornton  justly  observes  that  this  excuse 
for  the  pretended  mother  not  making  her  appearance  is  fair  enough,  but  there  is 
no  reason  alleged  why  the  sister  should  not  come,  except  that  we  may  suppose 
that  she  stays  to  nurse  and  comfort  her  sick  parent. 


138  MILES  GLOEIOSUS  ;  Act  IV 

Phil.  I  am  distracted  at  this,  that  I  am  estranged  from 
such  a  man.  For  you  are  able  to  make  any  woman  what- 
ever abound  in  wit;  and  because  I  was  living  with  you, 
for  that  reason  I  was  of  a  very  lofty  spirit.  I  see  that  1 
must  lose  that  loftiness  of  mind.     (Pretends  to  erg.) 

Pteg.  Don't  weep.  Phil.  I  can't  help  it  when  I  look 
upon  you. 

Pteg.  Be  of  good  courage.  Phil.  I  know  what  pain  it 
is  to  me. 

Pal.  I  really  don't  wonder  now,  Philocomasium,  if  you 
were  here  with  happiness  to  yourself,  when  I,  a  servant — 
as  I  look  at  him,  weep  because  we  are  parting  (pretends 
to  cry),  so  much  have  his  beauty,  his  manners,  his  valour, 
captivated  your  feelings. 

Phil.  Prithee,  do  let  me  embrace  you  before  I  depart  ? 

Pteg.  By  all  means.  Phil,  {embracing  him).  0  my 
eyes  !  O  my  life ! 

Pal.  Do  hold  up  the  woman,  I  entreat  you,  lest  she  should 
fall.     (He  takes  hold  of  her,  and  she  pretends  to  faint.) 

Pveg.  "What  means  this?  Pal.  Because,  after  she  l.Tid 
quitted  you,  she  suddenly  became  faint,  poor  thing. 

Pteg.  Run  in  and  fetch  some  water. 

Pal.  I  want  no  water ;  but  I  had  rather  you  would  keep 
at  a  distance.     Prithee,  don't  you  interfere  till  she  comes  to. 

Pteg.  (observing  Pleusicles,  who  is  holding  Philocoma- 
sium in  his  arm).  They  have  their  heads  too  closely  in  con- 
tact between  them  ;  I  don't  like  it ;  he  is  soldering  his  lips1 
to  hers.     What  the  plague  are  you  about  ? 

Pleus.  I  was  trying  whether  she  was  breathing  or  not. 

Pteg.  You  ought  to  have  applied  your  ear  then. 

Pleus.  If  you  had  rather,  I'll  let  her  go. 

Pteg.  No,  I  don't  care ;  do  you  support  her. 

Pal.  To  my  misery,  I'm  quite  distracted. 

Pteg.  G-o  and  bring  here  from  in-doors  all  the  things 
that  I  have  given  her. 

Pal.  And  even  now,  household  G-od,  do  I  salute  thee 
before  I  depart ;  my  fellow-servants,  both  male  and  female, 
all  farewell,  and  happy  may  you  live ;  prithee,  though  absent, 
among  yourselves  bestow  your  blessings  upon  me  as  well. 

1  He  is  soldering  his  lips)—Ver.  1335.  "Ferrnmmat"  is  a  strong  expressioJ 
bere ;  it  literally  means  to  weld  iron  with  iron,  hammering  :t  in  a  red-hot  state. 


Sc.  VIII.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  139 

Pyrg.  Come,  Palaestrio,  be  of  good  courage. 

Pal.  Alas !  alas!  I  cannot  but  weep  since  from  you  I  must 
depart. 

Ptrg.  Bear  it  with  patience.  Phil,  (feigning  to  recover) . 
Ha !  how's  this  ?     What  means  it  ?     Hail,  O  light ! 

Pleits.  Are  you  recovered  now?  Phil.  Prithee,  what 
person  am  I  embracing  ?     I'm  undone.     Am  I  myself? 

Pleus.  (in  a  low  voice) .  Fear  not,  my  delight. 

Pyrg.  "What  means  all  this  ?  Pal.  Just  now  she  swooned 
away  here.  #####* 

I  fear  and  dread  that  this  at  last  may  take  place1  too  openly. 

Pyrg.  What  is  that  you  say  ?  Pal.  I  fear  that  some  one 
may  turn  it  to  your  discredit,  while  all  these  things  are  being 
carried  after  us  through  the  city. 

Ptrg.  I  have  given  away  my  own  property,  and  not  theirs. 
I  care  but  little  for  other  people.  Be  off  then,  go  with  the 
blessing  of  the  Grods. 

Pal.  "lis  for  your  sake  I  say  it. 

Pyrg.  I  believe  you.     Pal.  And  now  farewell ! 

Pyrg.  And  heartily  farewell  to  you !  Pal.  (to  Pleusicles 
and  Philocomasium  as  they  leave).  Go  you  quickly  on ;  I'll 
overtake  you  directly ;  I  wish  to  speak  a  few  words  with  my 
master.  (To  Pyrgopolinices.)  Although  you  have  ever 
deemed  others  more  faithful  to  yourself  than  me,  still  do  I 
owe  you  many  thanks  for  all  things ;  and  if  such  were  your 
feelings,  I  would  rather  be  a  slave  to  you  by  far  than  be  the 
freedman  of  another. 

Pyrg.  Be  of  good  courage.  Pal.  Ah  me!  When  it 
comes  in  my  mind,  how  my  manners  must  be  changed,  how 
womanish  manners  must  be  learnt,  and  the  military  ones 
forgotten  ! 

Pyrg.  Take  care  and  be  honest. 

Pal.  I  can  be  so  no  longer ;  I  have  lost  all  inclination2. 

1  May  take  place) — Ver.  1347.  Palaestrio  cannot  help  exclaiming  against  the 
I  indiscreet  conduct  of  the  lovers.     The  Captain  overhears  him,  and  asks  him  what 

|is  the  matter.     He  adroitly  turns  it  off,  by  saying,  "  that  if  thus  openly the 

3oods  and  furniture  are  carried  through  the  city,  he  very  much  fears  that  his 
Imaster  will  be  censured  for  his  extreme  prodigality." 

"  Lost  all  inclination) — Ver.  1360.  A  pun  is  thought  to  be  intended  here  on  the 
jword  "  lubidinem,"  but  of  so  wretched  a  nature  that  it  is  not  worth  any  furthet 
Uusion  to  it. 


140  MILES  GLORIOSTJS  ;  Act  IV. 

Pyrg.  Go,  follow  them  ;  don't  linger. 

Pal.  Fare  you  right  well.  Pyrg.  And  heartily  fare  you 
well. 

Pal.  Prithee,  do  remember  me ;  if  perchance  I  should 
happen  to  be  made  free,  I'll  send  the  news  to  you ;  don't 
you  forsake  me1. 

Pyrg.  That  is  not  my  habit. 

Pal.  Consider  every  now  and  then  how  faithful  I  have 
been  to  you.  If  you  do  that,  then  at  last  you'll  know  who 
is  honest  towards  you  and  who  dishonest. 

Pyrg.  I  know  it ;  I  have  often  found  that  true,  as  well 
before  as  to-day  in  especial. 

Pal.  Do  you  know  it  ?  Aye,  and  this  day  I'll  make  you 
hereafter  say  still  more  how  true  it  is. 

Pyrg.  I  can  hardly  refrain  from  bidding  you  to  stay. 

Pal.  Take  you  care  how2  you  do  that.  They  may  say  that 
you  are  a  liar  and  not  truthful,  that  you  have  no  honor ;  they 
may  say  that  no  one  of  your  slaves  is  trustworthy  except  my- 
self. If,  indeed,  I  thought  you  could  do  it  with  honor,  I 
should  advise  you.  But  it  cannot  be ;  take  care  how  you 
do  so. 

Pyrg.  Be  off;  I'll  be  content  then,  whatever  happens. 

Pal.  Then,  fare  you  well.  Pyrg.  'Twere  better  you  should 
go  with  a  good  heart. 

Pal.  Still,  once  more,  farewell.  (JEccitl)  Pyrg.  Before  this 
affair,  I  had  always  thought  that  he  was  a  most  rascally  ser- 
vant ;  still,  I  find  that  he  is  faithful  to  me.  "When  I  con- 
sider with  myself,  I  have  done  unwisely  in  parting  with  him. 
I'll  go  hence  at  once  now  to  my  love  here :  the  door,  too,  I 
perceive,  makes  a  noise  there. 

Scene  IX. 
JEnter  a  ~Qoy  from  the'house  o/'Periplecomentjs. 
Boy.  (to  some  one  within) .  Don't  you  be  advising  me ;  I 
remember  my  duty ;  this  moment  I'll  find  him.     Wherever 

1  Don't  you  forsake  me) — Ver.  1363.  He  hypocritically  entreats  his  master 
not  to  desert  him  in  need,  should  he  be  made  free,  and  be  thereby  thrown  entirely 
upon  his  own  resources. 

2  Take  you  care  how)— Ver.  1368.  There  is  considerable  drollery  in  his  anxiety 
lest  his  master  should  suddenly  change  his  mind  and  refuse  to  let  him  go.  His  situ 
ation  would,  indeed,  under  such  circumstances  have  proved  an  unfortunate  one. 


Sc.  IX.  THE  P.EAGGAET  CAPTAIN.  141 

on  earth  he  may  chance  to  be,  I'll  search  him  out ;  I'll  not 
be  sparing  of  my  pains. 

Pyeg.  "lis  I  he  is  looking  for ;  I'll  go  and  meet  this 
boy. 

Boy.  0,  I'm  looking  for  you ;  save  you,  dearest  sir,  one 
loaded  by  opportunity  with  her  gifts,  and  whom  before  all 
others  two  Divinities  do  favour. 

Pyeg.  "What  two  ?     Boy.  Mars  and  Venus. 

Pyeg.  A  sprightly  boy.  Boy.  She  entreats  that  you  will 
go  in ;  she  wishes — she  longs  for  you,  and  while  expecting 
you,  she's  dying  for  you.  Do  succour  one  in  love.  "Why 
do  you  stay  ?     "Why  don't  you  go  in  ? 

Pyeg.  Well,  I'll  go.  (Enters  the  house  of  Peetpleco- 
mentts.) 

Boy.  There  has  he  entangled  himself  at  once  in  the  toils. 
The  snare  is  prepared  :  the  old  gentleman  is  standing  at  his 
post1  to  attack  the  letcher,  who  is  so  boastful  of  his  good 
looks  ;  who  thinks  that,  whatever  woman  sees  him,  all  are  in 
love  with  him  ;  whom  all,  both  men  and  women,  detest.  Now 
I  will  on  to  the  uproar ;  I  hear  a  tumult  within. 


ACT    THE   FIFTH. 

Scene  I3. 

Enter  PEEiPLECOMENUsyrow  his  house,  with  Caeio  and 
other  Seevants,  dragging  Pyegopolentces. 

Peeip.  Bring  that  fellow  along.  If  he  doesn't  follow,  drag 
him,  lifted  on  high3,  out  of  doors.  Make  him  to  be  between 
heaven  and  earth  ;  cut  him  in  pieces.     (They  beat  him.) 

1  Athispost) — Ver.  1389.  He  alludes  to  the  attitude  in  which  the  old  gentle- 
man, Periplecomenus,  is  standing  in-doors,  ready  to  sally  forth  on  the  Captain  the 
moment  he  is  entrapped. 

2 Scene  I.)  Thornton  here  remarks,  that  "  there  cannot  be  a  stronger  proof 
of  the  absurdities  into  which  the  ancients  were  forced  by  a  preservation  of  the 
unity  of  place  than  the  present  passage.  The  Captain  is  surprised  in  Periple- 
comenus's  own  house,  carrying  on  an  intrigue  v«ith  the  old  gentleman's  pretended 
wife,  in  consequence  of  which  they  proceed  to  frighten  him  with  the  cook's 
threatening  to  go  to  work  upon  him  with  his  knife.  Can  anything  be  more  un- 
natural or  improbable  than  that  for  this  purpose  they  should  drag  him  out  cj 
\the  house  and  into  the  public  street  ? 

I    3  Lifted  on  high) — Ver.  1394.  He  means,  "  take  him  in  your  arms,"  or  "  hoict 
bim  on  your  shoulders." 


142  MILES  GLOIilOSTTS  ;  Act  V, 

Pyeg.  By  my  troth,  I  do  entreat  you,  Periplocomenus. 

Peeip.  By  my  troth,  you  do  entreat  in  vain.  Take  care, 
Cario,  that  that  knife  of  yours  is  very  sharp. 

Caeio.  Why,  it's  already  longing  to  rip  up  the  stomach 
of  this  letcher.  I'll  make  his  entrails  hang  just  as  a  bauble 
hangs  from  a  baby's  neck. 

Pyeg.  I'm  a  dead  man.  Peeip.  Not  yet ;  you  say  so  too 
soon. 

Caeio.  Shall  I  have  at  this  fellow  now  ? 

Peeip.  Aye, — but  first  let  him  be  thrashed  with  cudgels. 

Caeio.  True,  right  lustily.  Peeip.  Why  have  you  dared, 
you  disgraceful  fellow,  to  seduce  another  man's  wife  ? 

Pyeg.  So  may  the  Gods  bless  me,  she  came  to  me  of  her 
own  accord. 

Peeip.  It's  a  lie.     Lay  on.     {They  are  about  to  strike.) 

Pyeg.  Stay,  while  I  tell Peeip.  Why  are  you  hesi- 
tating ? 

Pyeg.  Will  you  not  let  me  speak  ? 

Peeip.  Speak,  then.    Pyeg.  I  was  entreated  to  come  here.. 

Peeip.  How  did  you  dare  ?  There's  for  you,  take  that. 
{Strikes  him.) 

Pyeg.  O  !  0  !  I've  had  enough.     Prithee,  now. 

Caeio.  Am  I  to  begin  cutting  him  up  at  once  ? 

Peeip.  As  soon  as  you  like.     Stretch  the  fellow  out,  and 
spread  out  his  pinions1  in  opposite  ways. 
'    Pyeg.  By  heavens,  prithee,  do  hear  my  words  before  he 
cuts  me. 

Peeip.  Speak  before  you're  made  of  no  sex. 

Pyeg.  I  supposed  that  she  was  a  widow ;  and  so  her  maid, 
who  was  her  go-between,  informed  me. 

Peeip.  Now  take  an  oath  that  you  won't  injure  any 
person  for  this  affair,  because  you  have  been  beaten  here  to- 
day, or  shall  be  beaten  hereafter,  if  we  let  you  go  safe  hence, 
you  dear  little  grandson  of  Venus2. 

Pyeg.  I  swear  by  Dione3  and  Mars  that  I  will  hurt  no  one 

1  Spread  out  his  pinions) — Ver.  1407.  "  Dispennite."  He  means,  "  stretch  him 
out  as  you  would  spread  out  to  their  utmost  length  the  wings  of  a  bird." 

2  Grandson  of  Venus) — Ver.  141 3.  This  is  an  allusion  to  the  Captain's  own 
boast  in  Act  IV.  s.  4,  that  he  was  the  grandson  of  Venus. 

3  By  Dione) — Ver.  1414.  Dione,  according  to  Homer,  was  the  name  of  the 
mother  of  Venus ;  but  the  name  is  much  more  frequently  used,  as  in  the  present 
.nstance,  to  signify  Venus  herself.  He  appropriately  swears  by  these  guardiar 
Deities  of  intrigue.    The  translation  of  1  141C  is  somewhat  modified. 


Sc.  II.  THE  BRAGGART  CAPTAIN.  143 

because  I  have  been  beaten  here  this  day ;  and  I  think  that  it 
was  rightfully  done ;  and  if  I  don't  go  hence  further  injured, 
I  am  rightly  punished  for  the  offence. 

Perip.  But  what  if  you  don't  do  so  ? 

Pyrg.  Then,  may  I  always  have  my  word  not  to  be  trusted1. 

Cario.  Let  him  be  beaten  once  more ;  after  that  I  think 
he  may  be  dismissed. 

Pyrg.  May  the  Gods  ever  bless  you,  since  you  so  kindly 
come  as  my  advocate. 

Cario.  Grive  us  a  golden  mina2,  then. 

Pyrg.  For  what  reason  ?  Cario.  That  we  may  now  let  yon 
go  hence  unmaimed,  you  little  grandson  of  Venus  ;  otherwise 
you  shall  not  escape  from  here  ;  don't  you  deceive  yourself. 

Pyrg.  It  shall  be  given  you.  Cario.  You're  very  wise 
As  for  your  tunic,  and  your  scarf3,  and  sword,  don't  at  all 
hopeybr  them;  you  shan't  have  them. 

A  Servant.  Shall  I  beat  him  again,  or  do  you  let  him  go  ? 

Pyrg.  I'm  tamed  by  your  cudgels.     I  do  entreat  you. 

Perip.  Loose  him.     Pyrg.  I  return  you  thanks. 

Perip:  If  I  ever  catch  you  here  again,  I'll  insert  a  dis- 
qualify ing  clause. 

Pyrg.   Well :  I  make  no  objection. 

Pertp.  Let's  go  in,  Cario.  (Periplecomenus,  Cario,  and 
Servants,  go  into  his  house.) 

Scene  II. 
Enter  Sceledrus  and  other  Seryants  of  the  Captain. 
Pyrg.  Here  are  some  of  my  servants,  I  see.     Tell  me,  is 
Philocomasium  oft'  yet. 

Scel.  Aye,  some  time  since.     Pyrg.  Ah  me  ! 

Scel.  You  would  say  that4  still  more  if  you  were  to  know 

1  Not  to  be  trusted) — Ver.  1417.  "  Intestabilis."  A  gross  pun  is  here  in- 
tended, and  in  1.  1420  as  well.  The  word  here  signifies  "forsworn,"  or  "per- 
jured," so  infamous,  that  his  testimony  will  never  be  received  in  a  Court  of  justice. 

:  A  golden  mina) — Ver.  1420.  The  golden  "  mina"  was  worth  ten  silver  ones,  • 
or  one  thousand  "  drachma?,"  of  about  ninepence  three-farthings  each. 

3  And  your  scarf) — Ver.  1423.  The  "  chlamys"  was  an  outer  garment  worn 
among  the  Greeks  and  Oriental  nations,  somewhat  resembling  our  scarfs.  That 
worn  by  the  Captain  would  probably  be  of  great  value,  which  of  course  would  tempt 
the  cupidity  of  his  persecutors.    The  translation  of  1.  1426  is  somewhat  modified. 

*  You  would  say  that) — Ver.  1428.  Sceledrus,  probably,  only  enters  at  this  mo- 
ment with  the  other  servants  of  the  Captain ;  the  editions,  in  general,  somewhat 
bsurdly  represent  him  as  present  from  the  beginning  of  the  Fifth  Act. 


144  MTLES  GLOKIOSUS.  Act  V, 

what  I  know,  for  that;  fellow  who  had  the  wool  before  his 
eye  was  no  sailor. 

Pyrg.  Who  was  he,  then?  Scel.  A  lover  of  Philo- 
eomasium's. 

Pyrg.  How  do  you  know  ?  Scel.  I  do  know :  for  after 
they  had  got  out  of  the  city  gate,  they  didn't  wait  a  moment 
before  falling  to  kissing  and  embracing  each  other  at  once. 

Pyrg.  0  wretched  fool  that  I  am !  I  see  that  I  have 
been  gulled.  That  scoundrel  of  a  fellow,  Palaestrio,  it  was  he 
that  contrived  this  plot  against  me. 

Scel.  I  think  it  was  properly  done.  If  it  were  so  done  to 
other  letchers,  there  would  be  fewer  letchers  here ;  they 
would  stand  more  in  awe,  and  give  their  attention  less  to  these 
pursuits. 

Pyrg.  Let's  go  into  my  house. 

An  Actor  (to  the  Audience).  Give  us  your  applauuc: 


BACCHIDES; 
OR,   THE  TWIN-SISTERS. 


Bramatts  persona. 

Sii.knus,  the  Divinity,  who  speaks  the  Prologue. 

Nicobulus,  an  aged  citizen  of  Athens- 

Mxesieochus,  his  son. 

Philoxenus,  another  aged  citizen  of  Athens. 

Pistoclkrus,  his  son. 

LYDUS,  servant  of  Philoxenus,  and  tutor  of  Pistodenwj 

Chrysalus,  servant  of  Nicobirlus. 

Clf.omachus,  a  Captain  of  Samos. 

A  Parasite  of  Cleomachus. 

Boy,  servant  of  Cleomachus. 

Servant  of  Pistoclerus  (in  the  introductory  fragment}. 

Artamo,  servant  of  Nicobulus. 

SECorNoABACcHCHis  }    Twin-susters,  Courtesans. 

&<ru:. — Athens:  before  the  houses  or  the  First  rJACcmsand  of  Phiiaxsij..*  i% 
-which  are  in  the  same  street 


TPE  SUBJECT. 


Ksksilochus,  when  absent  at  Ephesus,  writes  and  requests  his  friend,  Pisto- 
clerus,  to  search  for  his  mistress,  Bacchis,  who  has  left  Athens  with  a  military 
Captain.  Having  discovered  her  on  her  return  to  Athens,  Pistoclerus  falls  in 
love  with  her  twin-sister,  whose  name  is  also  Bacchis,  and  is  severely  reproved 
by  his  tutor,  Lydus,  for  so  doing.  Mnesilochus  returns  to  Athens,  and  discovers 
irom  Lydus  that  his  friend  Pistoclerus  is  in  love  with  a  female  of  the  name  of 
Bacchis.  He  thereupon  imagines  that  he  has  supplanted  him  with  his  own 
mistress,  and  in  his  anger  resolves  to  restore  to  his  father  some  money  of  his 
which  he  had  gone  to  Ephesus  to  recover,  and  a  part  of  which  he  had  contrived, 
through  a  scheme  of  the  servant  Chrysalus,  to  retain,  in  order  that  he  might 
redeem  his  mistress  from  the  Captain.  Having  afterwards  discovered  the  truth, 
he  greatly  repents  that  he  has  done  so.  as  the  officer  threatens  to  cany  Bacchis 
3tf  instantly,  if  the  money  is  not  paid.  On  this,  Chrysalus  contrives  another 
stratagem  against  Nicobulus,  his  aged  master,  and  makes  him,  through  fear  cf 
the  Captain's  threats,  pay  the  required  sum.  Having  gained  not  only  this  but  a 
still  further  sum  of  money,  the  young  men  regale  themselves  at  the  house  of 
Bacchis.  Nicobulus  afterwards  discovers  from  the  Captain  the  trick  that  has 
been  played  upon  him,  and  he  and  Mnesilochus  repair  to  the  house  of  Bacchis  to 
demand  their  sons.  The  damsels,  hereupon,  apply  tbemsetos  to  coaxing  the 
old  men,  who  are  at  last  persuaded  to  forgive  their  sees  &zid  Chrysalu* 
oni  tc  go  into  the  house  and  join  the  enterUhment. 


BACCIIDES; 

OR,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS. 


THE  ACROSTIC  ARGUMENT. 
[Supposed  to  have  been  written  by  Priscian  the  Grammarian.] 
Mnesilochus  is  inflamed  with  love  for  Bacchis  (Bacchidis).  But,  first  of  all, 
he  goes  to  Epliesus,  to  bring  back  some  gold  (Aurum).  Bacchis  sails  for 
Crete  (CVetam),  and  meets  with  (Convenit)  the  other  Bacchis ;  thence  she  re- 
turns to  Athens ;  upon  this  (Hinc),  Mnesilochus  sends  a  letter  to  Pistoelerus, 
that  he  may  seek  for  her  (Illam).  He  returns ;  he  makes  a  quarrel  while 
(Dum)  he  suppose*  that  his  own  mistress  is  beloved  by  Pistoelerus;  when  they 
have  discovered  the  mistake  as  to  the  twin-sisters,  Mnesilochus  pays  the  gold 
to  that  (Ei)  Captain ;  equally  are  the  two  in  love.  The  old  men  {Senes),  while 
they  are  looking  after  their  sons,  join  the  women,  and  carouse. 


THE  PBOLOGTJE1. 

Spoken  oy  Silenus,  mounted,  on  his  Ass. 
'Tis  a  wonder  if  the  spectators  on  the  benches  this 
day  don't  hiss,  and  cough,  and  make  a  snorting  noise  at 
this  ridiculous  sight,  furrow  their  brows,  and,  with  cries 
with  one  consent2,  shout  all  aloud,  and  mutter  impreca- 
tions. Hardly  in  their  youth  can  beardless  actors,  or  mimics 
with  their  beards  plucked  out,  find  room  upon  the  stage. 
"Why  comes  forth  this  aged  and  lethargic  go-between,  who 
is  borne  upon  the  ass's  back  ?  Listen,  I  pray,  and  giye  me 
your  attention,  while  I  tell  you  the  name  of  this  quiet 
Comedy3.    'Tis  proper  for  you  to  make  silence  for  a  Divinity. 

1  Prologue)  There  is  little  doubt  that  this  Prologue  is  spurious,  but  as  it  is  pre- 
fixed to  many  of  the  editions,  and  to  Thornton's  and  the  French  translations,  it  is 
here  inserted.  Lascaris,  the  Greek  grammarian,  says,  in  a  letter  to  Bembo,  that  it 
was  discovered  by  him  in  Sicily.  Some  writers  have  supposed  it  to  have  beer, 
written  by  the  Poet  Petrarch. 

2  With  cries  with  one  consent) — Ver.  3.  "  Concrepario"  is  a  barbarous  word, 
'ormed  from  "  crepo,"  to  make  a  noise. 

s  Qiiet  Comedy) — Ver.  10.  "  Statarise."  There  were  two  kinds  of  Comedy  repie- 

l2 


1-18  EACC11IDES  ; 

It  befits  not  those  to  use  the  resources  of  the  voice,  who  come 
here  not  to  exclaim,  but  to  be  spectators.  Give  me  attentive 
ears ;  but  not  into  my  hands  I  mean ;  I  wish  my  voice1,  as  it 
flies,  to  strike  these  vacant  ears.  What  do  you  fear  ?  Are 
those  blows  more  hurtful  which  open  what  is  shut2,  or  which 
close  what  is  open  ?  You're  very  kind ;  the  inhabitants  of 
heaven  do  love  you  deservedly.  There  is  profound  silence 
— even  the  children  are  still — and  now,  attend  to  a  new-come 
messenger,  on  a  new  errand.  Who  I  am — why  I  am  come 
to  you — I'll  tell  you  in  a  few  words ;  at  the  same  time,  I'll 
disclose  to  you  the  name  of  this  Comedy.  Now,  behold,  I 
shall  tell  you  "what  you  wish  to  know ;  do  you  then  give  me 
your  attention.  I  am  a  God  of  Nature3,  the  foster-father  of 
most  mighty  Bromius4,  him  who,  with  a  female  army5,  gained 
a  kingdom.  Whatever  about  him  renowned  nations  relate, 
some  part,  at  least,  has  been  accomplished  by  my  advice. 
That  which  pleases  me  is  never  displeasing  to  him.  'Tis 
right  if  one  father6  another  father  does  obey.  Ass-borne  do 
the  Ionian  multitudes7  style  me,  because  I  am  borne  on  an 

sented  on  the  ancient  stage,  one  of  which  was  called  "  stataria,"  while  the  ether 
was  "  motoria."  In  the  first,  the  actors  stood  still,  or  moved  about  quietly,  and 
with  little  gesture ;  while  in  the  other,  dancing,  gesture,  and  grimace  were  exten- 
sively employed. 

1  I  wish  my  voice) — Ver.  15.  There  is  a  poor  attempt  at  alliteration  here,  in  the 
words  "  volo  volans  vox  vacuas." 

2  What  is  shut) — Ver.  17.  This  passage  is  obscure,  but  the  meaning  seems  to 
be,  "  Is  it  anything  more  disagreable  to  open  your  ears  and  listen,  than  to  keep 
them  shut  and  be  stunned  by  my  noise?  for  talk  I  will. 

3  A  God  of  Nature)— Ver.  25.  The  ancients  considered  Pan,  Silenus,  Sylvanus, 
the  Fauns,  the  Dryades,  the  Hyades,  and  the  Oreades,  as  Gods  of  Nature,  pre- 
siding over  it  in  its  various  aspects. 

4  Bromius) — Ver.  25.  Bromius  was  one  of  the  names  of  Bacchus,  probably  de- 
rived from  fipefico,  "  to  make  a  noise ;"  the  Bacchanalian  orgies  being  attended  with 
riot  and  drunkenness. 

5  With  a  female  army)— Ver.  26.  He  alludes  to  the  Indian  expedition  of  Bac- 
chus, who  was  fabled  to  have  marched  thither  at  the  head  of  an  arny  of  Bacchantes 
or  "  Bacchas,"  females  who  were  his  votaries. 

6  If  one  father)— Ver.  30.  The  ancients  gave  the  Gods  the  title  of  "pater,' 
"  father,"  by  way  of  honorable  distinction.  Bacchus  would  especially  be  so  ho- 
nored, as  wine  was  looked  upon  as  one  of  the  chief  supports  of  life. 

7  Ionian  multitudes) — Ver.  31.  The  Lydians  were  adjacent  to  the  people  of 
Ionia.  Etruria,  which  supplied  the  earliest  actors  to  Home,  was  supposed  to  hare 
been  colonised  by  the  Lydians. 


OB,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  149 

ass1  for  my  conveyance.  Who  I  am,  you  understand :  if  you 
understand,  allow  me  now  to  tell  the  name  of  this  quiet  play; 
at  the  same  time,  you  may  learn  why  I  have  come  to  you. 
Philemon2  formerly  produced  a  play  in  Greek ;  this,  those 
who  speak  the  Greek  language  call  "  Evantides3 ;"  Plautus, 
who  speaks  the  Latiu,  calls  it  "  Bacchides."  'Tis  not  to  be 
wondered,  then,  if  hither  I  have  come.  Bacchus  sends  to  you 
the  Bacchides — the  Bacchanalian  Bacchanals.  I  am  bringing 
them  unto  you.  What !  Have  I  told  a  lie  ?  It  don't  become 
a  God  to  tell  a  lie  ;  but  the  truth  I  tell — I  bring  not  them  ; 
but  the  salacious  ass,  wearied  with  its  journey,  is  bringing 
to  you  three,  if  I  remember  right.  One  you  behold ;  see 
now,  what  on  my  lips  I  bring — to  wit,  two  Samian  sisters4, 
Bacchanalians,  merry  Courtesans,  born  of  the  same  parents, 
at  one  time,  at  a  twin-birth  ;  not  less  alike  than  milk  to  milk, 
if  you  compare  it,  or  water  to  water ;  were  you  to  see  them 
you  would  think  them  halved5 ;  so  much  would  you  confuse 
your  sight,  that  you  would  not  be  able  to  distinguish  which 
was  which.  What  remains  you  long  to  hear.  Now  give  at- 
tention :  the  story  of  this  Play  I  will  disclose.  What  country 
Samos  is,  is  known  to  all;  for  seas,  lands,  mountains,  and 
islands,  have  your  legions6  made  easy  of  access.  There,  Sostrata 
bore  to  her  husband,  Pyrgoteles  Pyrocles7,  twin-daughters  at 
one  birth ;  and  it  pleased  them,  being  initiated  at  the  tri- 

1  Borne  on  an  ass) — Ver.  31.  "  Asibidam."  This  is  a  spurious  word,  probably 
invented  by  the  author. 

2  Philemon) — Ver.  36.  Philemon  was  a  Greek  Comic  poet,  of  considerable  merit, 
though  inferior  to  Menander,  of  whom  he  was  a  contemporary.  This  play  is  more 
generally  supposed  to  have  been  borrowed  from  a  Comedy  of  Menander,  which  was 
called  Air  E^awarwi/,  "  the  Twice  Deceived." 

3  Evantides) — Ver.  37.  "  Evantides"  corresponds  with  the  Latin  word  "  Bac- 
chantes," "  followers,"  or  "  namesakes"  of  Bacchus,"  as  "  Evan"  was  one  of  the 
names  by  which  that  God  was  addressed  during  the  celebration  of  the  orgies. 

4  Samian  sisters) — Ver.  46.  Samos  was  an  island  off  the  coast  of  Ionia,  near 
Ephesus.     It  was  the  birthplace  of  the  philosopher  Pythagoras. 

5  Think  them  halved) — Ver.  50.  "  Dimidiatas" — "  one  split  into  two." 

8  Have  your  legions) — Ver.  57.  He  is  supposed  to  be  flattering  the  Romans  in 
their  love  for  foreign  conquest. 

7  Pyrgoteles  Pyrocles) — Ver.  58.  It  was  quite  unusual  for  the  Greeks  to  have 
two  names.  They  have  here  been  introduced  either  for  the  sake  of  the  metre,  or, 
as  the  Delphin  editor  suggests,  as  meaning  "  her  husband  Pyrocles,  who  was  a 
regular  Pyrgoteles,"  that  is,  a  most  skilful  engraver ;  a  celebrated  artist  of  that 
name  having  flourished  in  the  time  of  Alexander  the  Great. 


150  BACCHIDES ; 

cnnial  festival1  of  Bacchus,  to  call  after  his  name  the  damsels 
of  which  they  were  the  parents.  The  parents,  as  often  hap- 
pens, gave  a  turn  to2  their  future  fortunes.  A  Captain  car- 
ried one  of  them  with  him  to  Crete.  The  other  of  the  twins 
sailed  for  Athens3.  As  soon  as  Mnesilochus,  the  son  of  ~Ni- 
cobulus,  beheld  her,  he  began  to  love  her,  and  frequently 
paid  her  visits.  Meantime,  his  father  sent  the  youth  to 
Ephesus,  to  bring  back  thence  some  gold,  which  he  himself, 
some  time  before,  had  deposited  with  Archidemides,  an  an- 
cient friend  of  his,  an  aged  Phoenician.  When,  for  two  years 
he  had  stayed  at  Ephesus,  he  received  the  sad  news  that 
Bacchis  was  gone  from  Athens,  for  some  sailors  of  his  ac- 
quaintance sent  him  word  that  she  had  set  sail.  On  this,  he 
writes  a  letter  to  Pistoclerus,  his  only  friend,  the  son  of  Phi- 
loxenus,  entreating  him  to  seek  the  fugitive  with  care  and  ear- 
nestness. While  Pistoclerus  is  devoting  his  services  to  his 
friend,  the  twin-sisters,  who  have  just  returned  to  Athens, 
arouse  a  passion  in  the  seeker.  The  one  wins  Pistoclerus  for 
herself ;  the  other  longs  for  the  coming  of  Mnesilochus.  What 
wonder  if  two  bewitching,  merry,  pretty  Bacchantes,  should 
attract  to  themselves  two  unfledged  Bacchanalians,  and  if 
they  should  ensnare  their  decrepit,  most  aged  fathers,  fit 
subjects  for  the  undertaker4,  bowed  down  by  the  weight  of 

1  Triennial  festival) — Ver.  60.  Among  the  festivals  of  Bacchus,  there  was  one 
which  occurred  every  three  years,  and  was  called  the  *  Trieterica."  On  that  occa- 
sion the  Bacchantes  carried  the  figure  of  the  God  on  a  chariot,  drawn  by  two  tigers 
or  panthers,  and  crowned  with  vine  leaves ;  holding  thyrsi  in  their  hands,  they 
ran  in  a  frantic  manner  around  the  chariot,  filling  the  air  with  the  sound  of  tam- 
bourines and  brazen  instruments,  shouting  "  Evoe  Bacche,"  and  calling  the  God 
hy  his  several  names  of  Bromius,  Lyseus,  Evan,  Lenaeus,  and  Sabazius.  To  this 
ceremonial,  which  was  derived  from  the  Egyptians,  the  Greeks  added  other 
rites,  replete  with  licentiousness  and  repulsive  to  decency.  The  author  says 
that  the  parents  of  the  Bacchides  were  initiated  at  this  festival,  and  that  in  com- 
pliment to  the  God  they  named  each  of  the  newly-born  twins  "  Bacchis.'" 

2  Gave  a  turn  to) — Ver.  62.  "  Fata  occupant."  "  Consider  the  fact  of  their 
being  born  at  that  period  as  ominous  of  their  future  destiny,  and  devote  them  U 
the  service  of  the  Deity." 

3  Sailed  for  Athens) — Ver.  64.  Literally,  "Cecropiae."  Cecrops  was  the  founder 
of  Athens. 

*  Subjects  for  the  undertaker) — Ver.  84.  "  Libitinarios."  This  word  properly 
•orresponds  to  our  word  "  undertakers."  They  were  so  called  because  their  biers 
aid  other  i*equisites  were  kept  in  the  temple  of  the  Goddess  "  Libitina."  The  word 
here  has  the  forced  meaning  of  "  persons  with  one  foot  in  the  grave." 


OR,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  151 

their  years  ?  But,  see,  here's  Pistoclerus,  who  is  returning 
to  the  Bacchides  so  lately  found,  and  in  his  simplicity1  is 
blowing  in  himself  the  sparks  of  passion  so  lately  kindled. 
Now  I'm  off — do  you  attend.  {Exit. 


ACT    THE    FIKST. 
Scene  I2. 
Enter  Pistoclerus. 
Pistoc.  ****** 

those  who  are3  of  a  thrifty  turn  of  mind,  modest,  and  with- 
out servility.  *  *  *  *  * 

*  ****** 

Chains,  rods,  and  mills ;  their  shocking  brutality  becomes 


worse. 


******* 


*  ******* 

She  who  keeps  my  friend  and  me  engaged. 

*  *  *  *  *  (Exit. 

1  In  his  simplicity) — Ver.  87.  "  Insolens."  Mnesilochus  is  already  in  love  with 
the  Second  Bacchis  before  the  play  commences;  but  Pistoclerus  is  entrapped 
dnring  the  First  Act. 

2  Scene  I.)  The  portion  from  the  commencement  of  this  scene  down  to  the  begin- 
ning of  the  thirty-fifth  line,  is  translated  from  the  fragments  of  the  beginning  of  the 
play  which  have  been  lately  discovered  by  the  research  of  Eitschel.  It  was  gene- 
rally supposed  by  Commentators  that  the  beginning  of  the  play  had  been  lost,  and 
that  the  author  of  the  Prologue,  or  some  other  writer,  had  supplied  the  hiatus  by 
adding  a  first  scene  of  his  own  composition;  in  which  he  represents,  somewhat  in- 
consistently, Pistoclerus  as  having  been  in  love  with  the  First  Bacchis  before  the 
play  began,  whereas  it  is  obviously  the  intention  of  Plautus  to  represent  him  as 
drawn  into  the  amour  by  her  allurements  during  the  First  Act.  It  is  worthy  of 
remark,  that  the  learned  and  ingenious  Rost  was  of  opinion  that  the  beginning  of 
this  play  had  not  been  lost,  and  that  it  properly  commenced  at  line  35,  "  Quod  si 
hoc  potis  est."  This  opinion,  however,  is  thoroughly  controverted  by  the  result  of 
the  researches  of  Ritschel.  Although,  for  the  sake  of  brevity,  these  fragments  are 
here  grouped  into  one  Scene,  to  supply  the  place  of  the  spurious  Scene  which  for- 
merly occupied  their  place,  it  is  clear  that  they  are  really  the  remnants  of  several 
Scenes,  introductory  to  the  attempt  of  the  First  Bacchis  to  entrap  Pistoc'.ferns. 

3  Those  who  are) — Ver.  1.  It  is  not  unlikely  that  this  and  the  next  three  «ines 
are  fragments  of  a  Prologue,  spoken  by  Pistoclerus,  in  which  he  is  complimenting 
the  ingenuity  shown  by  the  slave  Chrysalus  throughout  the  piece,  as  he  is  making 
reference  to  the  punishment  of  slaves  when  speaking  of  "  chains,  rods,  an  I  the 
full ;"  to  which  latter  place  refractory  slaves  were  sent  for  hard  labour. 


152  BACOHIDES ;  A.ct  1 

Enter  Eiest  Bacchis. 

1st  Bacch.  I  have  heard1  that  Ulysses  underwent  toils 
innumerable,  who,  in  wanderings,  was  twenty  years  away 
from  his  native  land.  But  this  young  man  by  far  outdoes 
Ulysses  ;  who  here  in  this  spot  is  wandering  within  the  walls 
of  the  city. 

1st  Bacch.      *       She  was  of  the  same  name  with  myself. 

1st  Bacch.  Sweep  out  the  house1*  with  brooms,  work  briskly. 
*****      Will  some  one 
call  that  most  dirty  fellow  with  the  water-pail3  and  the 
water. 

Cleomachus,  Second  Bacchis. 

Cleom.  *  *  *  *  But  if  a  life4  of 

wantonness  is  perchance  preferred  by  you,  consider  the  price 
that  I  agreed  to  give  you  that  at  that  age  you  might  not  be 
following  me  for  nought  *  *  *  that 

from  no  one  else  you  might  be  receiving  a  yearly  pay,  except 
from  oneself,  nor  be  toying  with  any  man  *  * 

*  *  *  #  #  *  #  * 

*  *  *  *         like  slugs  upon  a  man. 
Pistoclekus,  Second  Bacchis,  Servant. 


1  /  have  heard) — Ver.  5.  This  is  probably  the  commencement  of  a  Scene.  The 
First  Bacchis  is  revolving  her  plans  against  Pistoclerus,  who  is  wandering  through 
the  city  in  search  of  the  mistress  of  his  friend  Mnesilochus. 

2  Sweep  out  the  house) — Ver.  10.  She  is  evidently  ordering  the  servants  to  put 
the  house  in  readiness  against  the  arrival  of  her  sister  from  abroad. 

3  The  water-pail) — Ver.  12.  "  Nassiterna"  was  a  pail,  or  water-pot,  having 
three  spouts  or  mouths. 

4  But  if  a  life) — Ver.  13.  Here  is  another  Scene.  It  would  appear  probable  that 
the  Second  Bacchis,  having  heard,  on  her  arrival,  that  Mnesilochus,  by  his  friend,  is 
m  search  of  her,  signifies  to  the  Captain  her  intention  to  remain  at  Athens,  and 
not  to  accompany  him  to  Elatia  in  Phocis,  on  which  he  reminds  her  of  the  sum  of 
aioney  he  has  given  her,  and  the  original  terms  of  the  agreement.  It  would 
appear  that  he  proceeds  to  threaten  with  his  wrath  any  more  fortunate  rival ;  and 
♦hen  concludes  by  inveighing  against  harlots  in  general,  as  "limaces,"  "  snails," 
or  "  slugs,"  in  the  same  way  as  a  Comic  writer  of  our  day  might  style  then 
"  leeches,"  or  "  bloodsuckers."  It  may  be  remarked,  that  with  the  ancients,  the 
snail  was  the  emblem  of  salacity. 


5C.  il.  OR,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  153 

Pistoc    As  like  as  milk1  is  to  milk ;  whatever  is  her  name 

Serv.  The  soldier  who  sells  his  life  for  gold         *  * 

*  *  *  *  I  know  that  his  breath  is 

much  stronger  than  when  the  bellows  of  bull's  hide  are 
blowing,  when  the  rocks  melt  where  the  iron  is  made. 

Pistoc.  Of  what  country  did  he  seem  to  you  ? 

Serv.  I  think  he  is  of  Prseneste2 ;  he  was  such  a  boaster. 

Pistoc.  *  *  The  city  *  *  * 

and  I  don't  think  it  is  in  spurious  boastfulness. 


Scene  II. 

Enter  First  and  Second  Bacchis. 

1st  Bacch.  *  *  *  My  heart,  my 

hope3,  my  honey,  my  sweetness,  my  nutriment,  my  delight. 

*  *  Let  me  bestow  on  you  my  love 

*  *         the  Arabian  •  *  * 

*  Has  Cupid  or  has  love  overpowered 
yOU  p#             •••*..    #•<? 

Perhaps  to  suspect  that  you  are  in  love.  * 

*  *  *  *         Get  money  from  that 

quarter  •  .  •  •  •  for  I  really  do 

believe  that  with  ease  you  can  enchant  the  heart  of  any  man4. 

As  like  as  milk)— Ver.  1 9.  Here  again  is  another  Scene.  Pistoclerus  has 
caught  sight  of  the  Second  Bacchis,  but  being  unaware  that  she  really  is  the 
person  whom  he  is  in  search  of,  he  remarks  upon  her  strong  resemblance  to  the 
First  Bacchis,  with  whom,  by  this  time,  he  has  probably  had  an  interview  on  the 
subject.  His  servant  then  comes  and  informs  him  that  she  is  the  person  whom 
he  is  looking  for,  but  that  she  is  under  the  protection  of  a  mighty  Captain,  whose 
breast  heaves  like  a  pair  of  blacksmith's  bellows. 

2  Is  ofPrceneste) — Ver.  24.  He  has  a  hit  here  at  the  people  of  Praeneste,  whom 
ie  has  in  a  former  play  censured  for  their  bad  grammar,  and  whom  he  here  repre- 
ents  as  occupying  the  same  place  in  Roman  estimation,  as  the  Gascons  do,  whe- 
her  deservedly  or  not,  in  ours. 

3  My  heart,  my  hope)— Ver.  27.  The  First  Bacchis  seems  here  to  be  repeating 
ler  first  lessons  in  the  attack  which  she  is  about  to  make  on  the  heart  of  the 
lovice  Pistoclerus ;  she  is  evidently  conning  over  the  flattering  things  that  she 
ntends  to  say  to  him. 

4  The  heart  of  any  man) — Ver.  34.  With  this  line  conclude  the  fragments 
vhich  have  been  brought  to  light  by  Ritschel ;  in  the  previous  editions  the  next  lhiH 
Jommences  the  second  Scene,  the  spurious  Scene  preceding  it. 


154  bacchides  ;  Act  I. 

2nd  Baccii.  *  *  *  *  * 

1st  Bacch.  And  suppose  it  is  much  better  that  you  should 
hold  your  peace,  and  I  should  speak  ? 

2nd  Bacch.  With  pleasure ;  you  m^j  proceed. 

1st  Bacch.  When  my  memory  shall  fail  me,  then  do  you 
take  care  to  aid  me,  sister. 

2nd  Bacch.  I'  faith,  I'm  more  afraid  that  I  shan't  have 
the  choice  of  prompting  you. 

1st  Bacch.  Troth,  I'm  afraid  the  little  nightingale  may 
lose  her  powers1  of  song.     Follow  this  way.     {They  move.) 

Enter  Pistoclertjs. 

Pistoc.  What  are  these  two  Courtesans,  the  namesake- 
sisters,  about  ? 

1st  Bacch.  Nothing  is  there  more  wretched  than  a  woman. 

Pistoc.  What,  say  you,  is  there  more  worthy  of  it  ?  What 
have  you  been  planning  in  your  consultation  ? 

1st  Bacch.  What's  proper  ?  Pistoc.  I'  faith,  that  doesn't 
belong  to  the  Courtesan. 

1st  Bacch.  This  sister  of  mine  entreats  me  so  to  find  some 
person  to  protect  her  against  this  Captain ;  that  when  she 
has  served  her  time2  he  may  bring  her  back  home.  Do  you, 
I  entreat  you,  be  her  protector. 

Pistoc.  Why  should  I  protect  her?  1st  Bacch,  That 
she  may  be  brought  home  again,  when  she  has  fulfilled  her 
engagement  to  him,  so  that  he  may  not  take  her  as  a  servant3 
for  himself.  But,  if  she  had  the  gold  to  pay  him  back  again, 
gladly  would  she  do  so. 

Pistoc  Where  now  is  this  person  ?     1st  Bacch.  I  expect 

1  May  lose  her  powers) — Ver.  38.  The  nightingale  was  supposed  to  sing  con- 
tinually; so  that  "  luscinise  deest  cantio,"  "  the  nightingale  has  lost  her  song,' 
became  a  proverb  which  expressed  the  happening  of  anything  extraordinary. 

2  Has  served  her  time) — Ver.  43.  "  Emeritus"  was  the  term  applied  to  soldiers 
who  had  "  served  out  their  time,"  or  "got  their  discharge"  Plautus  probably 
uses  the  term  satirically,  as  applied  to  the  engagement  which  the  Second  Bacchis 
had  made  with  the  Captain. 

3  As  a  servant) — Ver.  45.  She  pretends  that  her  sister  is  afraid,  that  when  her 
time  has  expired,  the  Captain — having  carried  her  to  a  foreign  country — may  make 
a  slave  of  her,  and  that  she  s,  consequently,  desirous  to  be  left  at  Athens,  and  to 
repay  him  the  money  which  he  had  given  her  upon  the  making  of  the  engagement. 
She  feigns  that  it  is  necessary  for  him  to  protect  her  sister  on  behalf  of  his  absenl 
friend  Mnesilochus,  that  she  herself  may  obtain  an  opportunity  of  ensnaring  him 


Sc.  II.  OR.  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  155 

that  he;ll  be  here  just  now.  But  this  you'll  be  able  to  ar- 
range better  among  ourselves ;  and  sitting  there,  you  shall 
wait  until  he  comes.  So  you  will  drink  some  wine,  and  so, 
I'll  give  you  a  kiss  when  you  have  drunk  it. 

Pistoc.  Your  coaxing  is  mere  birdlime.  1st  Bacch.  How 
so  ? 

Pistoc.  Because,  in  fact,  I  understand  how  you  two  are 
aiming  at  one  poor  pigeon,  myself;  (aside)  very  nearly  is  the 
limed  reed1  breaking  my  feathers.  Madam,  I  judge  that  such 
deeds  befit  me  not. 

1st  Bacch.  Why  so,  I  pray  ? 

Pistoc.  Bacchis,  it  is,  because  I  dread  you  Bacchantes,  and 
jyour  Bacchanalian  den2. 

1st  Bacch.  "What  is  it  that  you  dread  ?  Surely,  not  that 
Ithe  couch  in  my  house  may  lead  you  into  mischief? 

Pistoc.  Your  allurements3,  more  than  your  couch,  do  I 
dread.  You're  a  mischievous  serpent4.  But,  madam,  a 
|lurking-place  does  not  befit  this  youthful  age. 

1st  Bacch.  Should  you  wish  at  my  house  to  do  anything 
(that's  unwise,  I  myself  should  hinder  it.  But,  when  the 
,Captain  comes,  I  wish  you,  to  be  at  my  house  for  this  reason  ; 
[because,  when  you  are  present,  no  one  will  do  her  and  me 
any  injury.  You  will  prevent  that,  and  by  the  same  means 
you  will  be  aiding  your  friend ;  this  Captain,  too,  on  arriving, 
will  suspect  that  I  am  your  mistress.  "Why  are  you  silent, 
bray  ? 

Pistoc.  Because  these  things  are  pleasant  in  the  talking 
bf;  but  in  the  practice,  and  when  you  make  trial,  the  same 
ire  armed  with  stings.     They  pierce  the  feelings,  goad  one's 
fortune,  and  wound  one's  merits  and  character, 
i    2nd  Bacch.  What  do  you  dread  from  her  ? 

Pistoc.  What  do  I  dread,  do  you  ask  ?   Am  I  a  person  in 

1  The  limed  reed) — Ver.  51.  A  reed  dipped  in  birdlime  was  employed  for  the 
purpose  of  catching  birds.  Pistoclerus  says  to  himself  that  he  feels  how  nearly 
pe  is  entrapped. 

2  Your  Bacchanalian  den) — Ver.  53.  "Bacchanal"  was  properly  the  place 
where  the  Bacchanalia,  or  orgies,  were  celebrated.  He  styles  them  "  Bacchantes," 
Mid  their  house  a  "  Bacchanal,"  in  allusion  both  to  their  names  and  their  habits. 

I  I  '  Your  allurements) — Ver.  55.  There  is  a  play  here  upon  the  resemblance  of 
he  words  "  illectus,"  "  allurement,"  and  "lectus,"  a  "  bed." 

4  Mischievous  serpent) — Ver.  55.  "  Mala  tu's  bestia."  Literally,  "  you  are  an 
vil  beast ;"  which  sounds  harsh  to  an  English  ear,  even  when  applied  to  such  aa 
.nimal  as  Bacchis. 


156  BAUCHLDES  ;  Act  I 

my  youth  to  enter  a  place  of  exercise1  of  such  a  nature,  where 
people  sweat  to  their  undoing  ? — where  for  the  quoit  I  re- 
reive  a  loss,  disgrace,  too,  for  my  running  ? 

2nd  Bacch.  How  charmingly  you  do  talk.  Pistoc.  "Where 
I'm  to  take  a  turtle-dove3  instead  of  a  sword,  and  where 
another  puts  into  my  hand  the  goblet3  instead  of  the  cestus ; 
the  drinking-cup4  is  in  place  of  the  helmet,  the  wreathed  gar- 
land instead  of  the  crest5,  the  dice  in  place  of  the  lance.  For 
the  coat  of  mail  I  should  have  to  assume  a  soft  cloak0  ;  where, 
too,  in  place  of  a  horse  a  couch  must  be  given  me, — for  shield, 
a  strumpet7  may  be  lying  by  me.    Avaunt  from  me — avaunt ! 

2nd  Bacch.  O,  you're  too  fierce.  Pistoc.  I  am  attend- 
ing to  my  own  interests. 

2nd  Bacch.  Tou  must  be  softened  down ;  and,  in  fact,  I 
offer  you  my  aid  in  this. 

Pistoc.  But  you  are  too  expensive  an  assistant. 

1st  Bacch.  Do  pretend  that  you  are  in  love  with  me. 

Pistoc  Whether  should  I  be  pretending  that  in  jest,  or 
seriously  ? 

1st  Bacch.  Well  said !  better  to  do  the  last.  When  the 
Captain  comes  here,  I  want  you8  to  embrace  me. 

1  A  place  of  exercise) — Ver.  66.  He  draws  a  parallel  between  the  life  of  a  per- 
son who  for  health  and  rational  recreation  frequents  the  "  palasstra,"  or  schooi 
for  exercise,  and  of  those  who  frequent  the  haunts  of  Courtesans.  He  alludes  in 
the  following  lines  to  the  exercises  of  throwing  the  quoit,  running,  boxing, 
fencing,  hu?ling  the  lance,  and  riding. 

2  A  turtle-dove') — Ver.  68.  The  turtle-dove,  as  being  sacred  to  VenusJ  would 
be  an  appropriate  inmate  of  a  Courtesan's  house. 

8  The  goblet) — Ver.  69.  "  Cantharus  "  was  a  kind  of  drinking-cup,  with  two 
handles.  It  was  considered  as  peculiarly  sacred  to  Bacchus,  the  tutelary  Divinity 
of  Bacchis,  whom  Pistoclerus  is  addressing. 

4  The  drinking-cup) — Ver.  70.  "  Scaphium  "  here  probably  means  a  "  drinking- 
vessel  with  a  swelling  belly."  Some  Commentators,  however,  think  that  it  has  here 
the  same  meaning  as  "  matula." 

5  Instead  of  the  crest) — Ver.  70.  The  "  insigne  "  was  the  crest,  or  waving 
plume  of  the  helmet. 

6  A  soft  cloak) — Ver.  71.  It  was  the  custom  at  entertainments  far  the  re- 
vellers to  exchange  their  ordinary  clothes  for  fine  vestments,  elaborately  embroi- 
dered. 

7  For  shield,  a  strumpet) — Ver.  72.  "  Scortum  pro  scuta"  There  is  a  plaj 
nere  upon  the  resemblance  of  the  words. 

8  /  want  jww)— Ver.  76.  He  is  only  to  pretend  to  be  her  admirer  when  the  Cap 
tain  comes,  by  way  of  accounting  for  his  presence  and  interference  on  behalf  0| 
her  sister.  This  is  afterwards  rendered  unnecessary  by  his  own  pliancy ,  and  tfr 
arrival  of  Mnesilochus  himself. 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  157 

Pistoc.  What  need  is  there  of  my  doing  that  ? 

1st  Bacch.  I  want  him  to  see  you.  I  know  what  I'm 
about  ? 

Pistoc.  And  I,  i'  faith,  I  know  not  what  I'm  in  fear  of. 
But  what  say  you ? 

1st  Bacch.  What's  the  matter  now? 

Pistoc.  Well,  suppose  perchance  on  a  sudden  a  breakfast 
or  a  drinking  bout,  or  else  a  dinner,  should  take  place  at  your 
house,  just  as  is  the  wont  in  such  places  of  resort ;  where, 
then,  should  I  take  my  place  ? 

1st  Bacch.  Near  myself,  my  life,  that  with  a  she  wit  a  he 
wit  may  be  reclining  at  the  repast.  A  place  here,  at  our  house, 
should  you  come  late,  is  always  at  your  service.     When  you 

h  right  merrily  to  disport  yourself,  my  rosebud,  you  say 
to  me,  "Do  let  me  enjoy  myself  to-day"  I'll  provide  you  a 
delightful  place  where  it  may  be  so. 

Pistoc.  Here  is  a  rapid  stream ;  not  without  hazard  can 
this  way  be  passed. 

1st  Bacch.  (aside).  And,  by  my  troth,  something  must  you 
lose  amid  this  stream.  (Aloud.)  Give  me  your  hand  and 
follow  me. 

Pistoc.  0,  by  no  means.     1st  Bacch.  Why  so  ? 

Pistoc.  Because  to  a  man  in  his  youth  nothing  can  be 
nore  alluring  than  these — night,  women,  wine. 

1st  Bacch,  Away,  then,  with  you ;  for  my  part,  I  don't  at 
ill  care  for  it,  but  for  your  own  sake.  The  Captain,  then,  shall 
;ake  her  off;  don't  you  be  present  at  all  if  you  don't  choose. 

Pistoc.  (to  himself).  And  am  I  a  thing  of  nothing,  who 
annot  moderate  my  own  passions  ? 

1st  Bacch.  What's  there  for  you  to  fear? 

Pistoc.  There's  nothing ;  all  nonsense.  Madam,  I  resign 
nyself  to  you.     I'm  yours  ;  to  you  do  I  devote  my  services. 

1st  Bacch.  You  are  a  dear  man.  Now  I  wish  you  to  do 
his.  To-day  I  want  to  give  a  welcome  entertainment1  to  my 
ister.  For  that  purpose  I  shall  at  once  order  the  money2  to 
>e  brought  you  from  in-doors.  Do  you  take  care  and  cater 
or  us  a  splendid  entertainment. 

I  '  A  welcome  entertainment) — Ver.  94.  "  Caena  viatica  "  was  an  entertainment 
Bered  to  a  person  by  his  friends  immediately  on  his  arrival  from  a  voyage  or 
>urney. 
;  I  *  Order  the  money) — Ver.  95.  This  she  says  artfully,  well  knowing  that  he  will 
t  once  offer  to  bear  the  expense  of  the  entertainment 


158  BACCHIDES;  Act  I. 

Pistoc.  No,  I'll  stand  treat ;  for  it  would  be  a  shame,  that 
on  my  account  you  both  should  take  trouble  for  me,  and  by 
reason  of  that  trouble  should  pay  the  expense  from  your  own 
means. 

1st  Bacch.  But  I  can't  allow  you  to  give  anything. 

Pistoc.  Do  let  me.  1st  Bacch-.  "Well,  I'll  let  you,  if  you 
choose.     Prithee,  do  make  haste. 

Pistoc.  I  shall  be  here  again,  before  I  cease  to  love  you. 

{Exit  PlSTOCLERTTS. 

2nd  Bacch.  You  entertain  me  pleasantly  upon  my  return, 
my  sister. 

1st  Bacch.  How  so,  prithee  ? 

2nd  Bacch,  Because,  in  my  way  of  thinking,  this  day  a 
lucky  haul  has  fallen  to  your  lot. 

1st  Bacch,  He's  mine,  assuredly.  ]S"ow,  sister,  with 
respect  to  Mnesilochus,  I'll  give  you  my  aid1,  that  here  at 
home  you  may  be  receiving  gold,  rather  than  be  going  hence 
together  with  the  Captain. 

2nd  Bacch.  That's  my  desire.  1st  Bacch.  My  aid  shall 
be  given  you.  The  water's  warm  ;  let's  go  in,  that  you  may 
bathe.  For,  as  you  have  travelled  on  board  ship,  you  are 
faint,  I  think. 

2nd  Bacch.  A  little  so,  sister.  (Pistoclertts  is  seen  at 
a  distance.)  Besides,  he's  beginning  to  cause  I  don't  know 
what  bustle.     Let's  begone  hence. 

1st  Bacch.  Follow  me  this  way  in-doors  to  bathe,  that 
you  may  relieve  your  weariness. 

Scene  III. 

Enter  Pistoclertjs,  accompanied  by  People  with  Provisions 

for  the  Entertainment,  followed  by  Lydus. 

Ltd.  For   some    time,   Pistoclerus,  I've   been  following 

you  in   silence2,   watching    what    you  were  doing  in  this 

1  Give  you  my  aid)— Ver.  103.  They  will  try  to  get  Mnesilochus  to  advance 
the  money  to  redeem  her  from  the  Captain. 

2  Following  you  in  silence)— Ver.  109.  We  mnst  not  be  surprised  to  find 
"  Lydus  "  a  Lydian  slave,  as  his  name  imports,  acting  as  the  "  psedagogus,"  or 
"  tutor,"  of  Pistoclerus.  Among  the  wealthy,  the  sons  of  the  family  were  com- 
mitted to  the  "  psedagogi "  at  their  sixth  or  seventh  year,  and  of  course  that 
officer  was  selected  from  the  most  trustworthy  and  most  learned  among  the  slaves. 
The  youths  remained  under  the  tutor  till  they  reached  the  years  of  puberty.  His 
duty  was  rather  to  watch  and  protect  them,  and  accompany  them  to  their  school 


8C.  TIT.  01?,  THE  TWIN-SISTErS.  153 

dress1.  For,  so  may  the  Gods  favour  me,  even  Lyeurgus  him- 
self2 seems  to  me  as  if  he  could  be  led  into  debauchery  here. 
"Whither  now  are  you  betaking  yourself  hence  in  an  opposite 
direction  with  such  a  train? 

Pistoc.  To  this  place  (pointing  to  the  house).  Ltd.  Why 
to  this  place  ?     Who  lives  there  ? 

Pistoc.  Love,  Pleasure,  Venus,  Beauty,  Joy,  Jesting, 
Dalliance,  Converse,  and  Sweet-kissing. 

Ltd.  What  intercourse  have  vou  with  these  most  destruc- 
tive Deities  ? 

Pistoc.  Bad  are  those  men  who  speak  evil  of  the  good. 
You  speak  not  well  of  even  the  Gods  themselves ;  you  do 
what  is  not  right. 

Ltd.  Is  Sweet-kissing,  then,  some  God  ? 

Pistoc.  And  do  you  not  think  she  is  ?  0  Lydus,  why, 
what  a  barbarian3  you  are,  you,  whom  I  had  deemed  to  be  far 
more  wise  than  Thales  himself4'.  Go  to,  you  are  more  foolish 
than  Potitius,  the  foreigner5,  who,  at  an  age  so  advanced, 
knew  not  the  names  of  the  Divinities. 

Ltd.  This  dress  of  yours  pleases  me  not. 

and  the  "  gymnasium  "  or  "  palaestra,"  the  place  of  exercise,  than  to  instruct  them 

himself;  indeed,  the  "  prseceptores,"  or  "  teachers,"  are  expressly  distinguished 

by  Quinctilian  from  t'ne  "  pasdagogi,"  or  "  conductors  "  of  the  youths.     Eunuchs 

were  sometimes  appointed  to  this  office.    Among  the  Romans,  a  tutor  attended  on 

I  both  boys  and  girls  very  frequently,  as  they  were  not  confined  at  home  according 

I  to  the  Grecian  custom.    During  the  Empire,  much  care  was  taken  in  the  training 

|  of  the  "  pffidagogi." 

1  In  this  dress) — Ver.  110.  He  has  put  on  the  "malacum  pallium,"  "the  soft 
garment,"  mentioned  in  1.  71,  as  being  about  to  join  the  entertainment  which  he  is 
providing. 

2  Lyeurgus  himself) — Ver.  111.  He  says  that  such  company  is  enough  to  cor- 
rupt Lyeurgus  himself,  a  man  of  the  most  moral  and  strict  habits.  He  was  the 
lawgiver  of  Sparta. 

3  What  a  barbarian) — Ver.  121.  He  alludes  to  Lydia,  the  country  of  Lydus, 
which  was  "  barbara." 

4  Than  Thales  himself) — Ver.  122.  Thales  of  Miletus  was  one  of  the  seven 
wise  men  of  Greece.     He  was  the  founder  of  the  Ionic  sect  of  philosophers. 

I  5  Potitius,  the  foreigner) — Ver.  123.  "  Barbaro"  signifies  "  Roman,"  the  scene 
being  in  Attica.  We  learn  from  St.  Augustine  that  the  Potitii  received  the 
epithet  of  "  stulti,"  "  unwise,"  from  the  following  circumstance.  They  were  the 
hereditary  priests  of  Hercules,  at  Rome.  Wishing  to  lighten  their  duties,  they 
jinstructed  some  slaves  in  their  office,  for  which,  by  the  wrath  of  the  Divinity 
twelve  families  of  them  were  destroyed  in  one  night. 


100  BACCHIDES  ;  Act  1 

Pistoc.  But  no  one  prepared  it  for  you ;  it  was  prepared 
for  myself,  whom  it  pleases  well. 

Lyd.  And  do  you  commence  upon  your  repartees  against 
myself  even  ?  You,  who,  if  you  had  even  ten  tongues,  ought 
*\p  be  silent. 

Pistoc.  Not  every  age,  Lydus,  is  suited  for  school1.  One 
thing  especially  is  just  now  on  my  mind,  how  the  cook  may 
with  due  care  attend  to  these  things  as  befits  the  elegance  of 
the  entertainment. 

Ltd.  Now  have  you  undone  yourself  and  me  and  all  my 
labours,  me  who  so  oft  have  shown  you  what  is  right,  all  to 
no  purpose. 

Pistoc.  In  the  same  place  have  I  lost  my  labour  where 
vou've  lost  yours :  your  instructions  profit  neither  me  nor 
yourself. 

Ltd.  O  obdurate  heart !  Pistoc.  You  are  troublesome 
to  me.     Hold  your  tongue,  Lydus,  and  follow  me. 

Ltd.  Now,  see  that,  please  ;  he  no  longer  calls2  me  "  tutor," 
but  mere  "  Lydus." 

Pistoc.  It  seems  not  proper,  nor  can  it  be  fit,  that,  when  a 
person  is  in  a  house,  and  is  reclining  at  tlie  feast  together 
with  his  mistress,  and  is  kissing  her,  and  the  other  guests  are 
reclining  too,  the  tutor  should  be  there  too  in  their  presence 

Ltd.  Are  these  provisions  purchased  for  such  a  purpose, 
pray? 

Pistoc.  My  intentions,  indeed,  expect  so ;  how  it  falls  put, 
is  in  the  hands  of  the  Grods. 

Ltd.  "Will  you  be  having  a  mistress  ? 

Pistoc.  When  you  see,  then  you'll  know. 

Ltd.  Aye,  but  you  shall  not  have  one,  and  I  won't  allow 
it.     Go  back  again  home. 

Pistoc.  Do  leave  me  alone,  Lydus,  and  beware  of  mischief3. 

Ltd.  What?  Beware  of  mischief  ?  0  yawning  gulf,  where 
irt  thou  now  ?  How  gladly  would  I  avail  myself  of 
thee !     Already  have  I  lived  far  longer  than  I  could  have 

1  Suited  for  school) — Ver.  129.  There  is  here  a  "  Paronomasia,"  or  jingle  upor. 
the  resemblance  of  the  words  "  Lyde,"  "  Lydus,"  and  "  ludo,"  "  a  school." 

2  He  no  longer  calls) — Ver.  138.  He  is  shocked  at  the  want  of  respect  shown  b 
him  by  his  pupil. 

3  Beware  of  mischief) — Ver.  147.  This  is  a  threat  of  vengeance  \e  Lydns  ~-« 
Bumes  to  interfere  any  further 


8c.  III.  OT?,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  161 

wished.  'Twere  much  better  now  to  have  once  existed  than  to 
be  living  still.  That  any  pupil  should  thus  threaten  his 
tutor ! 

PrsTOC.  My  years  are  now  advanced  beyond  your  tutor- 
ship. 

Ltd.  I  want  no  pupils  for  me  with  heated  blood1.  An  up- 
grown  one  may  harass  me  thus  devoid  of  strength. 

Pistoc.  As  I  guess,  I  shall  become  a  Hercules,  and  you 
a  Linus2. 

Lyd.  I'  faith,  I  fear  more  that  through  your  goings-on  I 
shall  become  a  Phomix3,  and  have  to  tell  the  news  to  your 
father  that  you  are  dead. 

Pistoc.  Enough  of  these  stories.  Lyd.  This  youth  is  lost 
to  shame4 ;  the  man's  ruined.  And  does  it  then  recur  to  you 
that  you  have  a  father  ? 

Pistoc.  Am  I  your  servant,  or  you  mine  ? 

Ltd.  By  my  troth,  you  made  an  exchange  not  desirable 
for  that  age  of  yours,  when  you  gained  these  impudent  ways. 
Some  bad  master  has  been  teaching  you  all  this,  not  I.  You 
are  a  scholar  far  more  apt  at  these  pursuits  than  at  those 
lessons  which  I  taught  you  when  I  was  losing  my  labour. 
Troth,  'twas  a  bad  piece  of  deceit  you  were  guilty  of  at  your 
age,  when  you  concealed  these  vicious  tendencies  from  myself 
and  from  your  father. 

Pistoc.  Lydus,  you  have  thus  far  had  liberty  of  speech 
that  is  enough.     So  now  do  you  follow  this  way,  and  holo. 
your  tongue5.     {They  go  into  the  house  o/'Bacchis.) 

1  With  heated  blood)— Ver.  153.  "  Plenus  sanguinis."  Literally,  "full  of 
blood." 

x  You  a  Linus) — Ver.  155.  Linus  instructed  Hercules  in  music,  and  was  slain 
by  his  scholar  with  his  musical  instrument. 

3  Become  a  Phoenix) — Ver.  156.  Phcenix  was  the  preceptor  who  attended 
Achilles  to  the  Siege  of  Troy,  and  brought  the  account  of  his  death  to  his  father 
Peleus. 

4  Is  lost  to  shame) — Ver.  158.  "  Hie  vereri  perdidit."  Literally,  "  He  has  lost 
how  to  be  ashamed." 

5  Hold  your  tongue) — Ver.  169.  The  interval  between  this  Act  and  the  next  is 
filled  up  with  the  time  necessary  for  preparing  the  entertajiment  which  Pisto- 
clerus  is  giving  to  Bacchis  and  her  sister. 


162  BACCHIHES  ;  Act  11 

ACT    THE    SECOND 

Scene  I. 

Enter  Chrysaltts. 

Chrvs.  All  hail,  land  of  my  master!  which  1  joyfully  be- 
hold after  the  two  years  that  I  have  been  absent  hence  at 
Ephesus.  I  salute  thee,  neighbour  Apollo1,  who  dost  have 
thy  shrine  close  by  our  house,  and  to  thee  do  I  make  my 
prayer,  that  thou  wilt  not  let  me  meet  our  old  gentleman, 
Nicobulus,  before  I  have  seen  Pistoclerus,  the  friend  of 
Mnesilochus,  him  to  whom  Mnesilochus  has  sent  the  letter 
about  his  mistress,  Bacchis. 

Scene  II. 
Enter  Pistoclerus  yrow  the  house  ofBACCHis. 

Pistoc.  {to  the  First  Bacchis  within).  'Tis  strange  that 
you  are  so  earnestly  begging  me  to  return,  who  am  able  by  no 
possible  means  to  depart  hence,  if  I  were  willing,  so  bound 
down2,  and  so  enchained  with  love  do  you  hold  me. 

Chrys.  O,  ye  immortal  Gods,  I  espy  Pistoclerus!  O, 
Pistoclerus,  hail  \ 

Pistoc.  Hail,  Chrysalus,  to  you  !  Ohets.  I  will  at  present 
compress  many  speeches  for  you  in  a  small  space.  You  are 
glad  that  I  am  come  ;  I  give  you  credit  for  it.  You  promise  me 
lodging  and  an  entertainment  coming  from  my  journey,  as  it 
is  befitting,  and  I  agree  to  come.  I  bring  you  the  sincere 
greetings  of  your  friend.  Would  you  ask  me  where  he  is  ? 
He's  come. 

Pistoc.  Is  he  alive  and  well  ?  Chrys.  That  I  was  wish- 
ful to  enquire  of  yourself. 

Pistoc.  How  can  I  know  ?     Chrys.  No  one  better. 

Pistoc.  Why,  in  what  way  ?  Chrys.  Because  if  she  has 
been  found  whom  he  so  loves,  he  is  alive  and  well.  If  she  is 
not  found,  he  is  not  well,  and  is  like  to  die.     His  mistress  is 

1  Neighbour  Apollo) — Ver.  172.  He  is  supposed  to  refer  to  Apollo  "Prosti- 
terus,"  whose  statue  was  placed  in  the  vestibule  of  the  houses,  and  to  whom  the 
Athenians  paid  veneration  as  the  tutelar  God  of  their  habitations. 

1  So  bound '  dovm) — Ver.  180.  "Vadatus"  was  a  term  properly  applied  to  * 
person  bound  under  a  penalty  as  surety  for  another. 


Sc.   Q.  OR,  THE  TYv'IN-SISTERS.  1G3 

the  very  life  of  a  lover.  If  she  is  away,  he  is  non-existent ; 
if  she  is  with  him,  his  property  is  non-existent,  and  himself 
worthless  and  wretched.  But  what  have  you  done  in  respect 
of  his  commission  ? 

Pistoc.  And  ought  I  not  to  have  his  request  complied  with 
against  his  arrival,  which  his  messenger  brought  to  me  from 
him  ?  I'd  sooner  be  dwelling  in  the  realms  of  Acheron  than 
not. 

Chrys.  How  now,  have  you  found  out  this  Bacchis  ? 

Pistoc.  Yes,  and  a  Samian  one  too.  Chrys.  Prithee,  do 
take  care  that  no  one  handles  her  carelessly :  you  know  how 
soon  a  Samian  vessel1  is  wont  to  break. 

Pistoc.  What  now,  your  old  habit  ?  Cheys.  Prithee,  do 
tell  me  where  she  now  is. 

Pistoc.  Here,  where  you  just  now  saw  me  coming  out. 

Chrys.  How  capital  that  is !  She's  living  almost  next 
door.     Does  she  at  all  remember  Mnesilochus  ? 

Pistoc.  Do  you  ask  me  that  ?  Aye,  him  alone  does  she 
esteem  at  the  very  highest  value. 

Curys.  Indeed !  Pistoc.  Yes,  and  were  you  to  believe 
her,  distractedly  in  love — she  quite  longs  for  him. 

Chrys.  That's  good.  Pistoc.  Yes,  Chrysalus  ;  see,  now  ; 
not  even  so  small  a  space  of  time  ever  passes  by  as  this2, 
out  that  she  is  uttering  his  name. 

Chrys.  I'  faith,  so  much  the  better.  {Moving,  as  if  about 
to  go.) 

Pistoc.  Yes;  but {Holds  him.)     Chrys.  Yes,  faith3, 

I'd  rather  be  off. 

Pistoc.  And  do  you  so  unwillingly  hear  how  your  mas- 
ter's interests  have  prospered  ? 

Chrys.  No,  not  the  subject4,  but  the  actor  offends  my 
feelings  with  his  tediousness.      Even    "  Epidicus,"    a  play 

1  A  Samian  vessel} — Ver.  202.  He  plays  upon  the  word  "  Samian,"  as  the  isle 
of  Samos  was  celebrated  for  the  quality  of  its  earthenware,  which,  as  he  here  says, 
was  very  brittle. 

2  Passes  by  as  this') — Ver.  209.  This  is  doing  what  the  Greeks  call  8eiKTiKu>s. 
Suiting  the  action  to  the  word,  he  points  at  the  time  of  speaking  to  something 
very  small,  perhaps  the  breadth  of  his  finger-nail. 

3  Yes,  faith) — Ver.  211.  It  has  been  suggested  that  Chrysalus  is  put  out 
of  patience  here  by  the  frequent  repetition  by  Pistoclerus  of  the  word  "  immo," 
"aye,"  or  "yes;"  on  which  he  rejoins,  "immo,  &c,"  "yes,  and  1*11  be  off." 

*  No,  not  the  subject) — Ver.  213.  He  seems  to  mean  that  he  is  not  displeased 
with  the  subject,  but  at  the  tedious  way  in  which  Pistoclerus  relates  it  to  him. 

M  2 


164  BACCHIDES  ;  Act  II. 

that  I  love  quite  as  much  as  my  own  self,  were  Pollio  to  act 
it1,  no  play  would  I  see  so  reluctantly.  But,  does  Bacchis 
seem  handsome,  as  well,  to  you  ? 

Pistoc.  Do  you  ask  the  question?  Had  I  not  got  a 
Venus,  I  should  pronounce  her  a  Juno. 

Chrts.  I'  faith,  Mnesilochus,  as  I  find  these  matters  pro- 
ceeding, there's  something  ready  for  you  to  love ;  'tis  needful 
that  you  find  something  to  give  her.  But,  perhaps  you 
have  need  of  gold  for  that  other  one  ? 

Pistoc.  Yes,  some  Philippeans.  Chrts.  And  you  have 
need  of  it  directly,  perhaps  ? 

Pistoc.  Aye,  and  even  sooner  than  directly.  For  there's 
a  Captain  coming  here  just  now 

Chrts.  A  Captain,  indeed !  Pistoc.  Who  is  demanding 
some  gold  here  for  relinquishing  Bacchis. 

Chrys.  Let  him  come  when  he  pleases,  and  so  there  be 
no  delay.  The  money's  at  home ;  I  fear  not  for  myself,  nor  do 
I  go  begging  to  any  man ;  so  long,  at  least,  as  this  heart 
of  mine  shall  be  armed  with  its  inventiveness.  Go  in ;  I'll 
manage  here.  Do  you  tell  them  in-doors,  that  Mnesilochus  is 
coming  to  Bacchis. 

Pistoc.  I'll  do  as  you  request.  (Goes  into  the  house  of 
Bacchis.) 

Chrts.  The  money  business  belongs  to  me.  From 
Ephesus  we  have  brought  twelve  hundred  golden  Philippeans, 
which  our  entertainer  owed  to  our  old  gentleman.  Hence, 
some  contrivance3  will  I  this  day  contrive,  to  procure  gold 
for  this  son  of  my  master  thus  in  love.  But  there's  a 
noise  at  our  door — who's  coming  out  of  doors,  I  wonder? 
{Stands  aside.) 

1  Pollio  to  act  it) — Ver.  216.  It  is  clear  from  this  that  the  Epidicus  of  Plautus 
was  written  before  the  Bacchides.  With  a  rather  unusual  degree  of  license  he  seems 
to  refer  to  an  event  that  has  recently  happened,  and  it  is  not  improbable  that  the 
"  Epidicus,"  good  play  as  it  was,  had  suffered  from  the  demerits  of  some  contempti- 
ble actor  of  the  day,  known  as  Pollio.  Plautus  thus  excuses  his  play,  and  excites  a 
laugh  by  the  quaintness  of  the  remark.  There  is  a  passage  in  the  Nigrinus  of 
Lucian  that  throws  light  on  this :  "  Friend,  have  you  never  seen  a  bad  Tragic 
or  Comic  actor  ?  some  of  those  I  mean  who  are  hissed  because  they  spoil  a  good 
play  with  their  acting,  and  are  at  last  driven  off  the  stage ;  though  the  play  itself 
be  at  other  times  applauded,  and  bear  away  the  prize." 

2  Some  contrivance) — Ver.  239.  "Machinabor  machinam"  is  an  Atticism  bor- 
rowed by  Plautus,  probably  from  the  original  With  us  it  would  be,  literally  "  I 
will  machinate  a  machine  " 


Sc.  III.  OB,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  165 

Scene  III. 
Enter  NicoBULUs/row  his  house. 

Nico.  (£0  himself).  To  the  Piraeus  will  I  go;  I'll  go  see 
whether  any  merchant- ship  has  come  into  harbour  from 
Ephesus.  For  my  mind  misgives  me  ;  my  son  lingers  there 
so  long,  and  does  not  return. 

ChBys.  (aside).  "Now,  I'll  finely  unravel  him,  if  the  Gods 
are  propitious.  There  must  be  no  sleeping ;  gold  is  requi- 
site1 for  Chrysalus.  I'll  accost  him,  whom  for  sure  this  day 
I'll  make  a  ram  of  Phryxus2  of;  so,  even  to  the  quick3,  will  I 
shear  him  of  his  gold.  {Accosting  him.)  His  servant  Chry- 
salus salutes  Nicobulus. 

Nico.  O,  immortal  G-ods  !  where  is  my  son  ? 

Chrts.  Why  don't  you  return  the  salutation  first,  which 
I  gave  you  ? 

Nico.  Well,  save  you.  But  where  on  earth  is  Mnesilochus  ? 

Chrys.  He  is  alive  and  well.     Nico.  Is  he  not  come  ? 

Chrts.  He  is  come.  Nico.  Hurra !  you've  brought  me 
to4  my  senses.    And  has  he  all  along  been  well  ? 

Chrts.  Aye,  well  as  a  boxer5  and  an  athlete. 

Nico.  But  what  as  to  this — the  business  on  account  of 
which  I  sent  him  hence  to  Ephesus  ?  Has  he  not  received 
the  gold  from  his  entertainer,  Archidemides  ? 

Chrts.  Alas  !  my  heart  and  my  brain  are  cleft,  Nicobulus, 

1  Gold  is  requisite)— Ver.  240.  "  Opus  est  chryso  Chrysalo."  He  borrows  the 
Greek  word  "  xpvcros"  "gold,"  and  plays  on  his  own  name,  which  has  that  word 
for  its  origin. 

2  Ram  of  Phryxus)— Ver.  241.  The  Ram  with  the  golden  fleece  carried  Phryxus 
in  safety  over  the  Hellespont ;  but  his  sister  Helle  fell  off  its  back  on  the  passage, 
from  which  that  arm  of  the  sea  derived  its  name.  Jason  recovered  the  golden 
fleece  by  the  aid  of  Medea.  The  story  of  Helle  and  Phryxus  is  related  at  length 
in  the  Fasti  and  the  Metamorphoses  of  Ovid. 

3  Even  to  the  quick)— Ver.  242.  "  Ad  vivam  cutem" — literally,  "to  the  living 
skin." 

4  You've  brought  me  to) — Vei  247.  "  Aspersisti  aquan" — literally,  "  you  have 
sprinkled  water  on  me"  in  allusion  to  the  refreshing  effects  of  water  in  cases  of 
faintness. 

5  Well  as  a  boxer) — Ver.  248.  "  Pancratice  atque  athletice"— literally,  "boxing 
oke  and  wrestler-like." 


166  BACCHIDES ;  Act  II 

whenever  mention  is  made  of  that  fellow.  Why  don't  you 
call  that  entertainer  of  his  your  enemy  ? 

Nico.  Troth  now,  prithee,  why  so  ? 

Chets.  Because,  i'  faith,  I  know  for  sure,  that  Yulcan,  the 
Moon,  the  Sun,  the  Day,  those  four  Divinities,  never  shone 
upon  another  more  wicked. 

Nico.  "What,  than  Archidemides  ?     Dear  me  ! 

Chets.  Than  Archidemides,  I  say.  Nico.  What  has  he 
done? 

Chets.  What  has  he  not  done  ?  Why  don't  you  ask  me 
that  ?  In  the  first  place,  then,  he  began  to  make  denials 
to  your  son,  and  to  assert  that  he  didn't  owe  three  obols1  to 
you.  Forthwith,  Mnesilochus  summoned  to  himself  there 
our  ancient  host,  the  old  gentleman,  Pelago  ;  in  his  presence, 
he  at  once  showed  the  fellow  the  token2,  which  you  yourself 
had  given  to  your  son  to  deliver  to  him. 

Nico.  Well — when  he  showed  him  the  token  ? 

Chets.  He  began  to  say  that  it  was  counterfeit,  and  that 
it  was  not  a  true  token ;  and  how  many  reproaches  he  did  utter 
against  him  so  undeserving  of  them !  and  he  said  that  in  other 
matters  he  had  committed  forgery. 

Nico.  Have  you  not  the  gold  ?  In  the  first  place,  I  want 
that  to  be  told  me. 

Chets.  Yes,  after  the  Praetor  had  appointed  delegates3 ; 
being  cast,  at  length  compelled  by  force  he  paid  down  twelve 
hundred  Philippeans. 

Nico.  He  owed  that  much.  Chets.  Besides,  listen  to 
another  struggle  of  his,  as  well,  which  he  was  desirous  to 
enter  on. 

Nico.  What,  besides,  as  well  ?  Oho !  this  will  turn  out  now 

1  Three  obols) — Ver.  260.  The  "  obolus"  was  a  very  small  Greek  silver  coin. 
Its  value  was  something  more  than  three-halfpence  of  our  money. 

2  The  token) — Ver.  263.  "  Symbolum"  was  some  object  which  a  person  delivered 
to  another,  in  order  to  serve  as  a  mark,  sign,  or  token  to  a  third  person,  that  he 
was  to  do  something  which  had  been  previously  agreed  upon. 

3  Appointed  delegates) — Ver.  270.  "  Recuperatores"  were  certain  commissioners 
or  judges-delegate,  who  were  usually  named  by  the  Praetor,  at  Rome  and  in  the  pro- 
vinces, to  decide  matters  in  dispute,  such  as  disagreements  about  money  and  pro- 
perty; also  to  assess  the  damages  where  a  wrong  had  been  don?;  to  enquire 
whether  a  man  was  freeborn  or  not ;  or,  to  which  of  two  claimants  civic  honoun 
properly  belonged. 


Sc  III.  OB,  THE  TWIN-SISTEES.  167 

a  regular  hawk's  nest1.  I've  been  deceived :  I've  entrusted 
my  gold  to  an  Autolycus2  for  my  host ! 

Chets.  Nay,  but  do  you  listen Nico.  "Well,  I  wasn't 

aware  of  the  disposition  of  my  avaricious  entertainer. 

Chets.  Afterwards,  at  last  we  had  got  the  gold,  and  em- 
barked on  board  ship,  desirous  for  home.  By  chance,  as  I 
was  sitting  on  the  deck,  while  I  was  looking  about  me,  at  that 
moment  I  beheld  a  long  bark  being  fitted  out  by  this  cheating 
knave. 

Nico.  Troth,  I'm  undone ;  that  bark  breaks  my  heart3. 

Chets.  This  was  held  in  partnership  by  your  host  and 
some  pirates. 

Nico.  And  that  I  should  be  such  a  blockhead  as  to  trust 
him,  when  his  very  name  of  Archidemides4  cried  aloud  to  me 
that  he  would  deprive  me  of  it,  if  I  should  entrust  anything 
to  him. 

Chets.  This  bark  was  lying  in  wait  for  our  ship.  I 
began  to  watch  them,  to  see  what  business  they  were  about. 
Meanwhile,  from  harbour  our  ship  set  sail.  When  we  had 
fully  left  the  harbour,  these  fellows  began  to  follow  with 
their  oars ;  nor  birds,  nor  winds  more  swiftly.  As  I  dis- 
covered what  scheme  was  being  carried  out,  at  once  we 
dropped  anchor.  As  they  beheld  us  stopping,  they  began  to 
keep  their  vessel  back  in  harbour. 

Nico.  Wicked  wretches,  by  my  troth.  What  did  you  do 
at  last  ? 

Chets.  We  returned  again  into  harbour.  Nico.  'Twas 
cleverly  done  by  you.     What  after  that  ? 

1  Regular  hawk's  nest) — Ver.  274  "  Accipitrina."  This  word  is  given  by 
Ritschel,  in  place  of  the  old  reading  "  accipe  trina,"  which  made  nonsense.  The 
word  does  not  seem  to  occur  elsewhere. 

2  An  Autolycvs) — Ver.  275.  Autolycus  was  the  son  of  Mercury  and  the  grand- 
father of  Ulysses.  He  was  noted  for  his  thievish  propensities,  and  was  in  the  habit 
of  painting  the  cattle  which  he  had  stolen  of  another  colour,  in  order  that  they 
might  not  be  recognized. 

3  Breaks  my  heart) — Ver.  281.  "  Laedit  latus" — literally,  "  hurts  my  sides,"  or 
in  other  words,  "  gives  me  a  twitch." 

*  Name  of  Archidemides) — Ver.  284.  He  puns  upon  the  name  of  Archidemides, 
which  was  really  derived  from  the  Greek  "  apxofiai"  "  to  govern,'"  and  "  8rjfios." 
"  the  people."  To  adapt  his  pun,  however,  to  the  taste  of  a  Roman  audience,  he 
would  make  out  that  it  was  in  part  a  compound  of  the  Latin  word  "  demo,"  l*  tc 
filch"  or  "  lake  away." 


1G8  ,  bacchides  ;  Act  II. 

Chrts.  At  nightfall  they  returned  ashore. 

Nico.  Troth  now,  they  intended  to  carry  off  the  gold ; 
they  were  attempting  that  p«lan,  no  doubt. 

Chrts.  It  didn't  escape  me  ;  I  discovered  it :  I  was  almost 
terrified  to  death  by  it.  As  I  saw  that  a  scheme  was  being 
laid  against  the  gold,  forthwith  on  this  we  came  to  this  de- 
termination ;  the  next  day  we  carried  away  all  the  gold  thence 
in  their  presence,  openly' and  publicly,  that  they  might  know 
it  was  done. 

Nico.  Skilfully  managed,  i'  faith.   Tell  me,  what  did  they  ? 

Chrts.  Chopiallen  at  once, — soon  as  ever  they  saw  us 
leaving  the  harbour  with  the  gold,  shaking  their  heads,  they 
hauled  their  bark  ashore.  "We  deposited  all  the  gold  with 
Theotimus,  who  is  a  priest  there1  of  Ephesian  Diana. 

Nico.  Who  is  this  Theotimus  ?  Chrts.  The  son  of  Me- 
galobyzus2,  who  is  now  living  at  Ephesus,  a  man  most  dear  to 
the  Ephesians. 

JN"ico.  By  my  troth,  he'll  surely  turn  out  very  much  more 
dear  to  me^  if  he  shall  chouse  me  out  of  all  that  gold. 

Chrts.  But  it  is  stowed  away  in  the  very  temple  itself  of 
the  Goddess  Diana ;  there  they  keep  guard  at  the  public 
expense4. 

Nico.  You  kill  me  outright ;  much  more  safely  would  it 
have  been  kept  in  private  hands.  But  haven't  you  brought 
any  of  the  gold  home  here  ? 

Chrts.  O  yes  ;  but  how  much  he  has  brought,  I  don't  know. 

Nico.  How's  that? — not  know?  Chrts.  Because  Mnesi- 
lochus  went  privately  by  night  to  Theotimus;  and  didn't 

1  A  priest  there) — Ver.  307.  St.  Paul,  when  he  visited  Ephesus,  found  Diana 
still  enthroned  there  in  the  full  blaze  of  her  glory.  Her  temple  was  esteemed  one 
of  the  wonders  of  the  world. 

2  Son  o/Megalobyzus)—Ver.  308.  The  priests  of  Diana  at  Ephesus  are  supposed 
to  have  been  eunuchs,  and  the  priestesses  virgins.  Taubmann  thinks  that 
"  Megabyzus,"  which  ought  to  be  read  here,  was  a  general  name  of  the  priests  of 
Diana;  and  that  the  words  "  Megabyzi  Alius,"  "  a  son  of  Megabyzus,"  have  the 
same  import  as  the  word  "  Megabyzus"  itself.  It  may,  however,  rrujan  that  Theo- 
timus was  a  priest,  and  not  of  necessity  that  his  father  was  so. 

8  More  dear  to  me) — Ver.  309.  The  pun  here  perpetrated  answers  equally  well 
in  English. 

*  At  the  public  expense) — Ver.  313.  The  ancients  used  to  place  a  guard,  at  the 
public  expense,  at  the  gates  of  their  temples,  as  great  quantities  of  property  <* 
value  were  there  deposited  as  in  places  of  safety. 


Sc.  III.  OK,  THE  TWIK-SISTEES.  169 

wish  to  entrust  it  to  me,  nor  to  any  one  in  the  ship.  For 
that  reason  I  don't  know  how  much  he  has  brought,  but  he 
hasn't  brought  very  much. 

Nico.  Do  you  think  it  was  even  a  half  ? 

Cheys.  By  my  troth,  I  know  not ;  but  I  don't  think  it. 

Nico.  Does  he  bring  a*  third  part  ? 

Cheys.  Troth,  I  think  not ;  but  I  do  not  know  the  truth. 
Indeed,  I  know  nothing  at  all  about  the  gold,  except  that  I 
do  know  nothing  about  it.  Now,  you  yourself  must  take  a 
voyage  there  on  board  ship,  to  carry  home  this  gold  from 
Theotimus  ;  and,  hearkye (Takes  him  by  tlie  arm.) 

Nico.  What  do  you  want  ?  Cheys.  Take  care  and  re- 
member to  carry  your  son's  ring. 

Nico.  "What  need  is  there  of  the  ring  ? 

Cheys.  Because  that  is  the  token  agreed  on  with  Theotimus, 
that  the  person  who  brings  it  to  him,  to  him  he  is  to  give  up 
the  gold. 

Nico.  I'll  remember  it,  and  you  advise  me  well.  But  is 
this  Theotimus  rich  ? 

Cheys.  What,  do  you  ask  that?  Why,  hasn't  he  the 
soles  fastened  to  his  shoes  with  gold  ? 

Nico.  Why  does  he  thus  despise  it  ? 

Cheys.  He  has  such  immense  riches;  he  doesn't  know 
what  to  do  with  his  gold. 

Nico.  I  wish  he'd  give  it  me.  But  in  whose  presence  was 
this  gold  delivered  to  Theotimus  ? 

Cheys.  In  presence  of  the  people ;  there's  not  a  person  in 
Ephesus  but  what  knows  it. 

Nico.  My  son  at  least  did  wisely  there,  in  entrusting  that 
gold  to  a  rich  man  to  keep.  From  him  it  may  be  recovered 
even  at  a  moment's  notice. 

Cheys.  Aye,  and  look  here,  he'll  never  keep  you  waiting 
even  thus  much  (shows  his  Jlnger-nail)  from  receiving  it  on 
the  very  day  you  arrive  there. 

Nico.  I  thought  that  I  had  escaped  a  seafaring  life,  and 
that,  at  length,  an  old  man  of  my  years,  I  shouldn't  be 
sailing  about.  But  now  I  find  that  I'm  not  allowed  to  have 
the  choice  whether  I  would  or  no  ;  'tis  my  fine  host  Archi- 
demides  has  done  me  this.  Where,  then,  is  my  son,  Mnesi- 
lochus,  at  present  ? 

Cheys.  He  has  gone  to  the  market-place  to  pay  his  respect* 
to  the  Deities  and  his  friends. 


170  BACCHIDES  ;  Act  IIL 

JS"ico.  Then  I'll  go  hence  to  meet  him  as  soon  as  I  can. 

{Exit  Nicobtjltjs. 

Chrts.  He's  right  well  loaded,  and  carries  more  than  his 
proper  burden.  Not  so  very  badly  has  this  web  been  com- 
menced by  me,  that  I  may  find  means  for  the  son  of  my 
master  in  his  amour.  I've  managed  it  so,  that  he  may  take 
as  much  of  the  gold  as  he  chooses,  and  give  up  to  his  father 
as  much  as  he  may  like  to  give  up.  The  old  gentleman  Mill 
be  going  hence  to  Ephesus  to  fetch  his  gold ;  here  our  life 
will  be  spent  in  a  delicious  manner,  since  the  old  man  will 
leave  me  and  Mnesilochus  here,  and  not  be  taking  us  along 
with  him.  O I  what  a  kick-up  I  shall  be  making  here. 
But  what's  to  be  done,  when  the  old  gentleman  shall  have 
discovered  this  ?  When  he  shall  have  found  out  that  he  has 
made  his  journey  thither  to  no  purpose,  and  that  we  have  mis- 
spent his  gold,  what  will  become  of  me  after  that  ?  I'  faith, 
I  think  upon  his  arrival  he'll  be  changing  my  name,  and  at 
once  be  making  me  Crucisalus1  instead  of  Chrysalus.  Troth, 
I'll  run  away,  if  there  shall  be  a  greater  necessity  for  it.  If 
I'm  caught,  I'll  plague  him  for  a  punishment3 ;  if  his  rods  are 
in  the  fields,  still  my  back's  at  home.  Now  I'll  be  off,  and 
tell  my  master's  son  this  contrivance  about  the  gold,  and  about 
his  mistress  Bacchis  who  has  been  found.  {Exit. 


ACT    THE    THIKD. 

Scene  I. 
Enter  Ltdus  from  the  home  of  Bacchis. 
Ltd.  Open   and  throw  back    straightway   this    gate   of 
hell3,  I  do  entreat.    For,  really,  I  do  deem  it  nothing  else  ;  in- 

1  Crucisalus) — Ver.  362.  Anticipating  the  punishment  of  the  cross,  which  was 
often  inflicted  on  slaves,  he  coins  an  epithet,  "  crucisahas,"  "  cross-struggler," 
for  himself,  and  then  compares  it  with  his  own  name. 

2  For  a  punishment)— Ver.  364.  He  means  to  say,  that  his  master  will  not  ba 
able  to  chastise  him  without  punishing  himself,  in  some  measure,  by  the  loss  of 
the  rods  that  will  be  wasted  on  his  back. 

3  This  gate  of  hell)— Ver.  368.  The  words  of  Lydus  strongly  resemble  those  of 
Solomon,  in  the  Eighth  Chapter  of  Proverbs,  verse  27 :  "  Her  house  is  the  waj  to 
hell,  going  down  to  the  chambers  of  death." 


Sc.  II.     '  OK,  THE  TWIIST-SISTEES.  171 

asmuch  as  no  one  comes  here  but  he  whom  all  hopes  have 
deserted,  that  he  may  yet  be  a  decent  person.  Bacchis — no, 
not  Bacchis  is  their  name,  but  they  are  most  determined 
Bacchanals.  Avaunt  from  me,  you  sisters,  who  suck  the 
blood  of  men.  Richly  and  elegantly  furnished  is  this  house 
— for  destruction.  Soon  as  I  beheld  all  this,  at  once  I  straight- 
way betook  myself  to  my  heels.  And  ought  I  to  carry  these 
things  concealed  in  secrecy  ?  Ought  I,  Pistoclerus,  to  con- 
ceal from  your  father  your  excesses,  or  your  misdeeds,  or  your 
places  of  resort  ?  by  which  you  are  aiming  to  drive  your 
father  and  myself,  and  you?  own  self  and  all  your  friends,  to 
I  disgrace,  and  shame,  and  ruin  altogether,  and  to  destroy  us 
'■  all.  Within  yourself  you  entertain  no  awe  of  either  me  or 
i  your  own  self  on  account  of  the  deeds  which  you  are  doing ; 
by  which  you  have  made  your  own  father  and  myself  as  well, 
your  friends  and  your  connexions,  to  be  abettors1  in  the 
disgrace  of  your  excesses.  Now,  before  you  add  this  mischief 
to  the  rest,  I  am  resolved  at  once  to  tell  your  parent.  This 
instant  from  myself  will  I  remove  this  blame,  and  shall  dis- 
close the  matter  to  the  old  gentleman,  that  he  may  forthwith 
draw  forth  his  son  out  from  this  loathsome  pollution. 

{Exit. 

SCEIfE   II. 

Enter  Mnesilochus. 
Mkes.  In  many  ways  have  I  thought  it  over  with  myself, 
and  thus  I  think  it  is ;  a  man  your  friend,  who  is  a  friend 
such  as  the  name  imports — except  the  Gods — nothing  does 
excel  him.  By  fact  have  I  experienced  it  so  to  be.  For 
when  I  departed  hence  to  Ephesus  ('tis  now  almost  two  years 
ago  it  happened),  from  Ephesus  I  sent  letters  hither  to  my 
friend  Pistoclerus,  requesting  that  he  would  find  out  my 
mistress  Bacchis  for  me.  I  hear  that  he  has  found  her,  as 
my  servant  Chrysalus  has  brought  me  word.  How  aptly,  too, 
aas  he  framed  a  device  against  my  father  about  the  gold,  that 

To  be  abettors) — Ver.  381.  "  Gerulifigulos" — literally,  "  carriers"  or  "  bawk- 
:rs  about  of  pottery."  He  probably  alludes  to  the  low  esteem  in  which  these 
ligglers  were  held ;  and  it  is  not  impossible,  that  by  his  reference  to  the  earthen- 
ware, b.is  alludes  to  the  frail  companions  of  Pistoclerus  (whom  he  has  just  found 
»  have  come  from  Samos,  where  earthenware  was  made),  in  carrying  out  ™hos« 
chemes  the  young  man  was,  in  a  degree,  making  both  Lydus  himself,  and  his 
ather,  Philoxenus,  his  abettors. 


172  bacchides  ;  Act  III. 

I  may  have  abundance  in  my  amour.  I  see  'tis  right1  that 
I  should  make  a  due  return.  'Tis  better  for  you  to  be 
styled  extravagant  than  ungrateful ;  but,  i'  faith,  in  my  way 
of  thinking  at  least,  there's  nothing  more  extravagant  than 
the  ungrateful  man.  The  former  the  good  will  praise,  the 
latter  even  the  bad  will  censure.  'Twere  better  for  an  ill-doer 
to  escape  than  for  a  benefactor  to  be  deserted.  For  this  reason, 
then,  it  behoves  me  to  take  the  greater  care ;  I  needs  must  be 
on  the  watch.  Now,  Mnesilochus,  the  sample  is  on  view,  now 
the  contest  is  being  decided,  whether  you  are  or  are  not 
such  as  you  ought  to  be ;  good  or  bad,  of  whichever  kind ; 
just  or  unjust,  penurious  or  liberal,  fretful  or  complying. 
Take  you  care,  if  you  please,  lest  you  let  your  servant  excel 
you  in  doing  well.  "Whatever  you  shall  prove,  I  warn  you, 
you  shall  not  be  concealed.  But  see,  I  perceive  my  friend's 
father  and  his  tutor  coming  this  way.  I'll  listen  what  matter 
'tis  they  are  upon.     (He  retires  aside.) 


Scene  III2. 
Enter  Ltdtjs  and  Philoxenus. 

Ltd.  I'll  now  make  trial,  whether  your  heart  is  sharpened 
by  wisdom  in  your  breast.     Follow  me. 

Philo.  Whither  shall  I  follow?  "Whither  are  you  now 
leading  me  ? 

Ltd.  To  her  who  has  undone,  utterly  destroyed  your 
single,  only  son. 

Philo.  How  now,  Lydus ;  those  are  the  wiser  who  mode- 
rate their  passion.  'Tis  less  to  be3  wondered  at  if  this  age 
does  some  of  these  things  than  if  it  does  not  do  so ;  I,  as 
well,  did  the  same  in  my  youth. 

1  /  see  His  right) — Ver.  393.  The  whole  of  the  passage,  from  the  word 
"  aequom,"  in  this  line,  to  "  celabis,"  in  1.  403,  is  supposed  by  Ritschel  not  to  have 
been  the  composition  of  Plautus,  but  of  some  other  ancient  poet.  The  passage  is 
in  a  most  confused  state,  and  the  reading  suggested  by  Rost  has  been  here  adopted, 
the  lines  being  read  in  the  following  order:  393,  396,  394,  397,  395,  398. 

-  Scene  HI.)  Thornton  suggests  that  Moliere  had  in  his  eye  this  Scene  when 
he  wrote  "  Les  Fourberies  de  Scapin,"  which  Otway  translated  under  the  title 
of  "  The  Cheats  of  Scapin." 

3  'Tis  less  to  be) — Ver.  409.  After  reading  this,  we  shall  be  the  less  surprised  at 
the  conduct  of  Philoxenus  a  the  last  Scene. 


Sc  III.  OH,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  173 

Ltd.  Ah  me!  ah  me!  this  over-indulgence  has  proved 
his  ruin.  For  had  he  been  without  you,  I  should  have  had 
him  trained  up  to  moral  rectitude  ;  now,  by  reason  of  you  and 
your  trusting  disposition,  Pistoclerus  has  become  abandoned. 

Mnes.  (aside).  Immortal  Gods!  he  names  my  friend. 
What  means  this,  that  Lydus  is  thus  exciting  his  master,  Pis- 
toclerus ? 

Philo.  'Tis  but  a  little  time,  Lydus,  that  a  man  has  a 
desire  to  indulge  his  inclinations ;  the  time  will  soon  come, 
when  he  will  hate  himself  even.  Humour  him  ;  so  that  care 
is  taken  that  he  offends  not  beyond  the  line  of  honor,  e'en 
suffer  him. 

Ltd.  I'll  suffer  him  not,  nor,  for  my  part,  while  I'm  alive, 
will  I  allow  him  to  be  corrupted.  But  you,  who  are  plead- 
ing his  cause  for  a  son  so  profligate,  was  this  same  your  own 
training,  when  you  were  a  young  man  ?  I  declare  that  for 
your  first  twenty  years  you  had  not  even  this  much  liberty,  to 
move  your  foot  out  of  the  house  even  a  finger's  length  away 
from  your  tutor.  "When  it  did  happen  so,  this  evil,  too,  was 
added  to  the  evil ;  both  pupil  and  preceptor  were  esteemed 
disgraced.  Before  the  rising  of  the  sun  had  you  not  come 
to  the  school  for  exercise1,  no  slight  punishment  would  you 
have  had  at  the  hands  of  the  master  of  the  school.  There 
did  they  exercise  themselves  rather  with  running,  wrestling, 
the  quoit,  the  javelin,  boxing,  the  ball,  and  leaping,  rather 
than  with  harlots  or  with  kissing;  there  did  they  prolong 
their  lives2,  and  not  in  secret-lurking  holes.  Then,  when 
from  the  hippodrome3  and  school  of  exercise  you  had  returned 
home,  clad  in  your  belted  frock4,  upon  a  stool  by  your  master5 
would  you  sit ;  and  there,  when  you  were  reading  your  book, 

1  The  school  for  exercise) — Ver.  426.  "  Palaestram."  This  was  the  school  for 
athletic  exercise,  probably  for  both  youths  and  men ;  though  it  has  been  contended 
that  the  "  palasstra "  was  devoted  to  the  youths,  and  the  "  gymnasium "  to 
the  men. 

2  Prolong  their  lives) — Ver.  430.  "  Extendere  setatem  "  probably  means  here, 
not  only  •*  to  nve,    but  "to  prolong  life  "  by  healthy  exercise. 

3  The  hippodrome) — Ver.  431.  The  u  hippodromus  "  answered  the  same  pur- 
pose as  our  riding-schools. 

*  Your  belted  frock) — Ver.  432.  "  Cincticulum  "  was  a  frock  worn  by  children, 
with  a  girdle  or  belt  round  the  waist. 

5  By  your  master) — Ver.  432.  This  "magister"  would  be  what  the  Greeks 
called  the  8i8do~Kakosy  or  "  preceptor,"  whose  duty  it  waa  to  instruct  the  chil- 
dren in  grammar,  music,  and  other  accomplishments. 


174  BAOCHIDES;  Act  III. 

if  you  made  a  mistake  in  a  single  syllable,  your  skin  would 
be  made  as  spotted  as  your  nurse's  gown1. 

Mnes.  (aside).  I'm  sorely  vexed,  to  my  sorrow,  that  on  my 
account  these  things  should  be  said  about  my  friend.  In  hia 
innocence  he  incurs  this  suspicion  for  my  sake. 

Philo.  The  maimers,  Lydus,  now  are  altered. 

Ltd,  That,  for  my  part,  I  know  full  well.  For  formerly,  a 
man  used  to  receive  public  honors  by  the  votes  of  the  people, 
before  he  ceased  to  be  obedient  to  one  appointed'  his  tutor. 
But  now-a-days,  before  he  is  seven  years  old,  if  you  touch  a 
boy  with  your  hand,  at  once  the  child  breaks  his  tutor's  head 
with  his  tablet.  "When  you  go  to  complain  to  the  father, 
thus  says  the  father  to  the  child :  "  Be  you  my  own  dear  boy, 
since  you  can  defend  yourself  from  an  injury."  The  tutor  then 
is  called  for ;  "  Hallo !  you  old  good-for-nothing2,  don't  you 
be  touching  the  child  for  this  reason,  that  he  has  behaved 
so  boldly;"  and  thus  the  despised  tutor  becomes  just  like  a 
lantern ^  with  his  oiled  linen  rags.  Judgment  pronounced, 
they  go  away  thence.  Can  this  preceptor  then,  on  these  terms, 
keep  up  his  authority,  if  he  himself  is  to  be  beaten  the  first  ? 

Mnes.  {aside).  This  is  a  severe  accusation.  So  far  as  I 
understand  his  words,  'tis  strange  if  Pistoclerus  has  never 
thumped  Lydus  with  his  fists. 

Ltd.  {seeing  Mnesilochtts).  But  who  is  it  that  I  see  stand- 
ing here  before  the  door  ?  0  Philoxenus,  I  would  not  prefer 
for  myself  to  behold  even  the  propitious  Gods  rather  than  him. 

Philo.  "Who's  this  ?  Ltd.  "Why,  he's  Mnesilochus,  the 
friend  of  your  son.  He  is  not  of  a  like  turn  of  mind  with 
him  who  reclines  and  takes  his  meals  in  brothels.  Fortu- 
nate Nicobulus  !  who  begot  him  for  himself. 

1  Your  nurse's  gown) — Ver.  434.  It  is  not  known  whether  the  words  "  macu- 
losum  pallium  "  refer  here  to  a  kind  of  spotted  gown,  perhaps  of  dark  pattern, 
peculiar  to  nurses,  or  to  the  dirty,  soiled  appearance  which,  not  improbably,  their 
gowns  usually  presented.  Some  Commentators  take  a  wider  range,  and  think 
that  the  passage  refers  to  the  robe  of  Cybele,  the  Mother  of  the  Gods,  which  was 
made  of  the  skin  of  a  panther. 

2  You  old  good-for-nothing') — Ver.  444.  That  is,  in  his  capacity  as  a  slave,  a 
purchaseahle  commodity. 

3  Just  like  a  lantern) — Ver.  446.  This  passage  has  been  much  discussed  by 
various  Commentators.  It  is,  however,  most  probable  that  the  Romans  used 
lanterns  made  of  oiled  linen  cloth ;  and  that  he  is  comparing  his  head,  when  it 
lias  been  broken  by  the  tablets,  and  plaistered  over  with  oiled  linen,  to  one  of 
these  lanterns.  In  his  Epistles  to  Atticus,  B.  4,  Ep.  3,  Cicero  makes  mention  o. 
''linen  lanterns.'' 


So.  III.  OR,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  175 

Philo.  (advancing) .  My  greetings  to  you,  Mnosiloehus ; 
I'm  glad  that  you  have  arrived  safe. 

Mnes.  May  the  Gods  favour  you,  Philoxenus. 

Ltd.  He,  now,  was  born  at  a  lucky  moment  foi  his  father ; 
he  goes  to  sea,  attends  to  the  interests  of  his  family,  takes 
care  of  the  house,  is  obedient  and  attentive  to  the  wish  and 
commands  of  his  father.  He,  when  but  a  boy,  was  the  com- 
panion of  Pistoclerus  in  his  boyhood ;  'tis  not  by  three  days 
that  he  is  the  older  in  age,  but  his  disposition  is  more  im- 
proved by  thirty  years  than  that  of  the  other. 

Philo.  Beware  of  a  mischief1,  and  forbear  to  speak  of  him 
unjustly. 

Ltd.  Hold  your  peace.  You're  a  foolish  man,  who  cannot 
bear  to  have  him  badly  spoken  of  who  does  badly.  But  I 
would  rather  have  him  draw  upon  my  mishaps  than  upon 
my  savings2. 

Philo.  Why  so  ?  Ltd.  Because,  if  he  were  to  draw  upon 
my  mishaps,  he  would  each  day  be  making  them  less. 

Mnes.  Why,  Lydus,  are  you  censuring  your  pupil,  my 
friend  ? 

Ltd.  Tour  friend  is  ruined.  Mnes.  May  the  Gods  for- 
bid it. 

Ltd.  "lis  so  as  I  say.  And  farther,  I  myself  saw  it  when 
he  was  undone  ;  I  am  not  censuring  him  from  hearsay. 

Mnes.  What  has  been  done  by  him  ? 

Ltd.  He  is  disgracefully  doting  upon  a  harlot. 

Mnes.  Won't  you  be  silent  now  ?  Ltd.  She,  too,  like  a 
tide,  most  voraciously  swallows  all  up,  whenever  she  has 
touched  any  one. 

Mnes.  Where  does  this  woman  live  ?  Ltd.  Here.  (Points 
to  the  house.) 

Mnes.  Whence  do  they  say  she  comes  ? 

Ltd.  From  Samoa.     Mnes.  What's  her  name  ? 

Ltd.  Bacchis.  Mnes.  Tou  are  wrong,  Lydus ;  I  know 
the  whole  affair,  just  as  it  is.  Tou  are  blaming  Pistoclerus 
without  reason,  and  in  his  innocence.     For  he  is  carefully 

1  Of  a  mischief) — Ver.  463.  "  Malo  "  seems  here  to  be  a  preferable  reading  tc 
"  malum."     He  alludes  to  the  punishment,  to  which  Lydus,  as  a  slave,  is  liable. 

-  Upon  my  savings) — Ver.  465.  He  seems  to  mean,  that  he  had  rather  put  up 
with  insult,  or  violence  even,  from  his  pupil,  than  be  responsible  for  his  misdeeds 
in  which  lattei  case,  probably,  some  part  of  his  "  peculium,"  or  "  stvings,' 
would  be  taken  iway  from  him,  in  the  shape  of  fines. 


176  BACCHIDES  ;  Act  111. 

performing  the  business  enjoined  on  him  by  his  friend  ana 
companion,  his  sincere  well-wisher.  Neither  is  he  himself 
in  love,  nor  do  you  suppose  him  so. 

Ltd.  Is  it  necessary  for  him  carefully  to  perform  the  busi- 
ness enjoined  upon  him  by  his  friend  in  this  fashion — for  him- 
self, sitting  down,  to  hold  a  damsel  in  his  lap  who  is  kissing 
him  ?  Can  the  business  thus  entrusted  be  in  no  way  trans- 
acted unless  ever  and  anon  he  is  placing  his  hand  upon  the 
bosom  of  Bacchis,  or  never  withdraws  his  lips  from  hers  ? 
But  I'm  ashamed  to  make  mention  of  other  things  which  1 
have  seen  him  do ;  when,  in  my  presence,  I  saw  him  take 
most  unbecoming  liberties  with  the  person  of  Bacchis,  and- 
yet  not  be  at  all  ashamed.  "What  need  of  words  is  there  ? 
My  pupil,  your  friend,  his  son  {pointing  to  Philoxenus),  is 
ruined.  For  I  say  that  he  is  ruined,  whose  modesty  in  fact 
is  lost.  What  need  of  words  is  there  ?  Had  I  been  willing 
to  wait  only  a  little  time,  that  I  might  have  had  a  better  oppor- 
tunity of  viewing  him,  I  then  should,  I  think,  have  seen  more 
than  would  have  been  proper  for  me  to  see,  and  for  him  to  do. 

Mnes.  (aside) .  Friend,  you  have  undone  me.  And  ought  I 
not  to  punish  this  woman  with  death  ?  I  should  prefer  that 
I  should  perish  after  some  dreadful  fashion.  Isn't  it  the 
fact,  you  know  not  whom  to  deem  faithful  to  yourself,  or  in 
whom  to  put  your  trust  ? 

Lts.  Don't  you  see  how  much  he  grieves  that  your  son, 
his  friend,  has  been  corrupted?  and  how  he  is  afflicting 
himself  with  sorrow  ? 

Philo.  Mnesilochus,  I  beg  this  of  you,  that  you  will  in- 
fluence his  feelings  and  his  disposition.  Preserve  for  yourself  a 
friend  as  well  as  a  son  for  me. 

Mnes.  I  fain  would  do  so.  Ltd.  (to  Philoxenus).  Much 
better,  too,  would  you  leave  me  here  together  with  him. 

Philo.  Mnesilochus  has  cares,  more  than  enough. 

Ltd.  Eate  the  man  soundly,  who  disgraces  me,  yourself 
his  friend,  and  others,  by  his  excesses. 

Philo.  (to  Mnesilochus).  Upon  you  do  I  impose  all 
this  responsibility.  Lydus,  follow  me  this  way.  Ltd.  I 
follow  you.  (Exeunt  Philoxenus  arid  Ltdus. 

Scene  IV. 
Mnesilochus,  alone. 
Mnes.  Which  of  the  two  now  I  should  think  to  be  my 


Sc.  V.  OE,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  J  77 

greater  enemy,  my  companion  or  Bacchis,  is  extremely 
doubtful.  Has  she  chosen  him  in  preference  ?  Let  her  keep 
him,  that's  the  best.  Surely,  by  my  troth,  she  has  done  this 
to  her  own  loss.  For  never  let1  any  one  entrust  to  me  aught 
that  is  sacred,  if  I  don't  by  an  abundant  example3,  and as- 
suredly love  her.  I'll  make  her  not  to  say  that  she  has  got  hold 
of  a  person  to  make  a  fool  of.  But  I'll  go  home  now  and  pilfer 
something  from  my  father.     Even  to  such  straits  will  I  force 

her,  that  beggary  shall  be  the  lot  of3 my  father.     But  do  I 

really  now  possess  my  wits  with  a  mind  unimpaired,  who  am 
in  this  fashion  prating  here  of  these  things  that  are  to  come 
to  pass  ?  I'  faith,  I'm  of  opinion  that  I'm  in  love,  inasmuch  as 
I  know  for  sure  I  am.  But  still,  than  that  she,  from  my 
abundance,  should,  by  the  scraping  of  a  single  feather,  grow 
the  richer,  I'd  rather  outvie  a  beggar  in  begging.  Never, 
by  Heaven,  while  I  live,  shall  she  make  a  laughing-stock  of 
me.  For  I  have  made  up  my  mind  to  pay  down  all  the  gold 
at  once  to  my  father.  Upon  me,  therefore,  needy  and  pen- 
niless, shall  she  fawn,  at  the  time,  when  it  shall  be  for  her  ad- 
vantage not  a  whit  the  more  than  if  she  were  saying  her  pretty 
things  to  a  dead  man  at  his  tomb.  Beyond  a  doubt,  'tis  my 
fixed  determination  to  give  the  gold  up  to  my  father.  Like- 
wise, I'll  entreat  that,  for  my  sake,  my  father  won't  hurt 
Chrysalus,  nor  censure  him  at  all  on  my  account  with  respect 
to  the  gold  which  he  has  deceived  him  about.  For  'tis  right 
that  I  should  have  a  care  for  him,  who,  for  my  sake,  has  told 
this  falsehood.  (To  some  Attendants)  .  Do  you  follow  me. 
{Goes  into  his  father' 's  house.) 


Enter  PisTOCLERUs/nwrc  the  house  of  Bacchis. 

Pistoc.  {speaking  to  Bacchis  as  he  comes  out).    Before 

other  matters,  Bacchis,  will  I  give  place  to  what  you  enjoin 

me,  that  I  find  out  Mnesilochus,  and  bring  him,  together 

with  myself,  to  you.     But  at  this  my  mind  is  surprised,  if  my 

1  For  never  lei) — Ver.  504.  This  passage  is  a  circumlocution  for  "  May  I  be 
prepared  to  commit  a  sacrilege,  if,  &c." 

2  Example) — Ver.  505.  This  is  an  instance  of  Aposiopesis.  He  stops  short  in  his 
indignation,  and  owns  that,  despite  of  her  supposed  inconstancy,  he  loves  her  still 

3  Shall  be  the  lot  of) — Ver.  508.  This  is  another  instance  of  Aposiopesis.  He 
thr<"itens  his  vengeance  on  her,  even  to  making  his  father  a  beggar  for  Lr.» 
sake. 

V 


178  BACCHIDES ;  Act  III. 

messenger  has  reached  him,  what  it  is  that  delays  him.     I'll 
go  into  his  house  here,  and  see  if  perchance  he's  at  home. 

Scene  VI. 
Enter  Mne silo chus  from  his  father's  house. 

Mites,  (as  he  enters).  I've  given  up  to  my  father  all  the 
gold.  Now  could  I  wish  that  she  should  meet  me,  after  I  am 
penniless,  this  fair  one  so  scornful  of  me.  Yet  with  what 
great  difficulty  did  he  grant  me  a  pardon  for  Chrysalus.  But 
I  prevailed  on  him  at  last  that  he  wouldn't  be  at  all  angry 
with  him. 

Pistoc.  (apart).  Isn't  this  my  friend? 

Mnes.  (apart).  Isn't  this  my  foe  that  I  see  ? 

Pistoc.  For  sure  'tis  he.     Mites.  'Tis  he. 

Pistoc.  (apart).  I'll  go  to  meet  him,  and  I'll  mend  my  pace. 
(Aloud.)  Health  to  you,  Mnesilochus  ! 

Mnes.  Hail  !  Pistoc.  As  you  are  arrived  safe  from 
abroad,  a  dinner  must  be  given. 

Mnes.  A  dinner  pleases  me  not,  which  excites  my  choler. 

Pistoc.  Has  any  vexation  befallen  you  on  your  arrival  ? 

Mnes.  Aye,  and  a  very  grievous  one. 

Pistoc.  From  what  quarter  ?  Mites.  From  a  person 
whom  heretofore  I  had  supposed  to  be  my  friend. 

Pistoc.  Many  live  after  that  manner  and  method,  who, 
when  you  think  them  to  be  friends,  are  found  false  with  their 
deceitfulness,  strong  in  their  talking,  slothful  in  their  doing, 
of  faith  infirm.  Not  one  is  there  whom  they  don't  envy  on  their 
enjoying  prosperity ;  through  their  own  indolence  do  they 
themselves  take  right  good  care  that  no  envy  is  directed 
against  them. 

Mnes.  By  my  troth,  you  surely  understand  their  ways  most 
thoroughly.  But  still  this  one  misfortune  do  they  find  from 
their  bad  disposition  ;  they  are  the  friends  of  no  one,  ichile 
they  themselves  are  all  at  enmity  against  themselves ;  and 
these,  while  they  are  deceiving  themselves,  in  their  foolishness 
imagine  that  others  are  deceived.  Just  so  is  he  whom  I  sup- 
posed to  be  as  much  a  friend  to  me  as  I  am  to  my  own  self.  He, 
so  far  as  in  him  lay,  has  taken  all  care  to  do  whatever  injury 
he  could  towards  me,  to  turn  all  my  own  resources  against  me. 

Pistoc.  This  same  must  me  a  bad  man. 

Mnes.  I  judge  that  so  he  is. 


Sc.  VI.  OR,  THE  TWIN-8ISTEBS.  179 

Pistoc.  Troth  now,  prithee,  do  tell  me  who  it  is. 

Mnes.  He  lives  on  good  terms  wiin  yourself.  But  were 
he  not  so,  I  would  entreat  you  to  do  hiin  whatever  harm  you 
could  do. 

Pistoc.  Only  tell  me  the  person,  who  he  is  ;  if  I  don't  do 
him  an  injury,  some  way  or  other,  do  you  say  that  I'm  the 
greatest  of  cowards. 

Mnes.  The  person's  a  bad  one,  but  he's  your  friend,  i'  faith. 

Pistoc.  So  much  the  rather,  then,  tell  me  who  he  is.  In 
good  sooth,  I  set  no  value  on  the  esteem  of  a  worthless  per- 
son. 

Mnes.  I  appear,  then,  not  to  be  able  to  avoid  disclosing  to 
you  his  name.  Pistoclerus,  you  have  utterly  undone  me, 
your  friend. 

Pistoc.  How's  that?  Mnes.  How's  that?  Did  I  not 
send  you  a  letter  from  Ephesus  about  my  mistress,  that  you 
should  find  her  out  for  me  ? 

Pistoc.  I  own  you  did  ;  and  I  have  discovered  her. 

Mnes.  How  now  ?  "Was  there  not  a  choice  for  you  of  other 
Courtesans  in  Athens,  for  you  to  form  engagements  with, 
instead  of  with  her  whom  I  had  recommended  to  your  care  ? 
Could  you  yourself  begin  to  love,  and  to  contrive  an  inj  ury 
against  myself? 

Pistoc.  Are  you  in  your  senses  ?  Mnes.  I  have  found 
out  the  whole  affair  from  your  tutor  ;  don't  deny  it.  You've 
ruined  me. 

Pistoc.  What,  still  upbraiding  me  without  reason  with 
these  rebukes  of  yours  ? 

Mnes.  Why  ?     You're  in  love  with  Bacchis. 

Pistoc.  But  look  you,  two  persons  of  the  name  of  Bacchis 
are  living  here  in  this  house. 

Mnes.  How,  two  ?     Pistoc.  Aye,  and  the  two  are  sisters. 

Mnes.  You  are  now  designedly  telling  idle  stories. 

Pistoc.  In  fine,  if  you  persist  in  thinking  there's  but  little 
confidence  in  me,  I'll  take  you  upon  my  shoulders,  and  carry 
you  hence  into  their  house. 

Mnes.  Well,  I'll  go  ;  but  stay  a  moment. 

Pistoc.  I  will  not  stay,  and  you  shall  not  be  holding  me 
under  a  false  suspicion. 

Mnes.  I  follow  you  then.  (They  go  into  the  house  of 
Bacchis.) 

n2 


180  BACCHIDES:  Act  IV 

ACT    THE    FOUETH. 

Scene  I. 

Enter  a  Parasite  and  a  Boy. 

Par.  Of  a  debauched  and  unscrupulous  fellow  am  I  the 
Parasite — a  Captain,  who  has  brought  his  mistress  with  him 
from  Samos.  Now  he  has  ordered  me  to  go  to  her,  and 
make  enquiry  whether  she  will  pay  back  the  gold,  or  whether 
she  will  depart  together  with  him.  Tou,  boy,  who  have  for 
some  time  been  with  her,  whichever  of  these  is  the  house, 
do  you  knock.  Go  to  the  door  forthwith.  {The  Boy  goes  to 
knock.)  Are  you  coming  back  from  there,  you  hangdog1  ? 
How  the  graceless  scoundrel  does  knock !  Yo  can  gobble  up 
a  loaf  three  feet  wide,  and  yet  you  don't  know  how  to  knock 
at  a  door.  {He  calls  out  and  knocks  violently.')  Is  there 
any  one  in-doors  ?  Hallo !  is  there  any  one  here  ?  Does 
any  one  open  this  door  ?     Who's  coming  out  ? 

Scene  II. 
Enter  Pistoclerus  from  the  house. 

Pistoc.  "What's  the  matter?  What's  this  knocking? 
Why,  what  the  confounded  torment  possesses  you,  to  be 
exerting  your  strength  in  this  fashion  on  another  person's 
door  ?  You've  almost  broken  the  door  down.  What  do  you 
want  now  ? 

Par.  Young  gentleman,  my  respects.  Pistoc.  And  my 
respects.     But  whom  are  you  looking  for  ? 

Par.  For  Bacchis.     Pistoc.  But  which  of  them? 

Par.  Of  that  I  know  nothing,  only  it's  Bacchis.  In  a  few 
words,  the  Captain,  Cleomachus,  has  sent  me  to  her,  either 
for  her  to  pay  back  the  two  hundred  golden  Philippeans,  or 
to  go  hence  this  day,  together  with  him,  to  Elatia2. 

Pistoc.  She  doesn't  go  :  she  says  she  shan't  go.  Begone, 
and  take  back  this  message — she  loves  another  person,  and 
not  him.     Take  yourself  off  from  the  house. 

1  Ton  hangdog) — Ver.  579.  "  Dierecte."  The  meaning  of  this  word  has  been 
explained  in  the  Notes  to  the  Trinummus. 

2  To  Elatia)— Ver.  591.  Elatia  was  a  city  of  Phocis,  a  district  in  the  Norther* 
Dart  of  Greece. 


Sc.  III.  OB,  THE  TWIN-SISTEBS.  181 

Pab.  You're  too  hasty.  Pistoc.  And  would  you  know 
how  hasty  I  am  ?  By  my  faith,  your  phiz  isn't  far  off  from 
a  mishap ;  so  much  are  these  teeth-crackers  (looking  at  hi* 
fists)  longing  in  my  fists. 

Par.  (aside) .  So  far  as  I  understand  his  words,  'tis  a  warn- 
ing to  me,  lest  he  should  knock  my  nut-crackers  out  of  my 
jaws.  {To  Pistocleetjs.)  At  your  own  peril,  I'll  tell  him 
this. 

Pistoc.  What  do  you  say  ?  Par.  I'll  tell  him  that  which 
you  bade  me. 

Pistoc.  Who  are  you  ?     Tell  me. 

Pae.  I'm  the  skin  of  his  body1.  Pistoc.  He  needs  must 
be  a  scampish  fellow,  who  has  got  so  worthless  a  skin. 

Pae.  He'll  be  coming  here,  swollen  up  with  wrath. 

Pistoc.  I  wish  he  may  burst.  Pae.  (about  to  go).  Is 
there  anything  you  want  ? 

Pistoc.  Be  off ;  you  must  do  so  this  instant. 

Pae.  Grood-bye,  teeth-cracker.  {Exit.)  Pistoc.  And  you, 
skin  of  his  body,  good-bye !  This  matter  has  come  to  such  a 
point,  that  what  advice  to  give  my  friend  about  his  mistress, 
I  know  not ;  who,  in  his  pet,  has  given  up  all  the  gold  to  his 
father,  and  not  a  coin  is  there  that  may  be  paid  to  the 
Captain.  But  I'll  step  aside,  for  the  door  makes  a  noise. 
0,  here's  Mnesilochus  coming  out,  and  pensive,  too.  (He 
stands  apart.) 

Scene  III. 
Enter  Mnesilochus  from  the  house  o/Bacchis. 
Mites.  Insolent,  of  a  froward,  passionate,  ungovernable, 
inconsiderate  disposition,  without  reason  and  moderation, 
am  I ;  without  fine  principles  of  rectitude  and  honor,  hard 
of  belief,  powerless  to  control  my  passions,  born  of  a  temper 
ill-disposed,  unamiable  and  ungracious  is  my  life3.  In  fine, 
I  am  that  which  I  could  wish  others  to  be.  There's  not  a 
person  more  worthless,  or  more  unworthy  for  the  Grods  to 
bless,  or  for  men  to  love  or  to  associate  with.  'Tis  more 
iust   that  I  should   have  enemies   than  friends — 'tis  more 

1  Shin  of  his  body) — Ver.  601.  "  Integumentum  corporis."  LiteraJy,  "  the 
skin,"  or  "  covering  of  the  body."  This  was  probably  a  nickname  for  a  body- 
guard,  or  hanger-on. 

2  Is  my  life)— Yet.  614.  "  Vivo,"    Literally    "  I  live,"  "  I  exist." 


182  BACCHIBES  ;  Act  JTV 

reasonable  that  the  bad  should  give  me  their  assistance  than 
the  good.  There's  not  a  person  more  deserving  of  all  the  re- 
proaches that  are  befitting  worthless  men,  than  J,  who  have 
given  up  to  my  father  the  money  that  was  in  my  power. 
Could  this  be  believed  by  any  one  whatever  ?  Am  I  not  a 
madman,  who  have  miserably  undone  myself  and  the  device 
of  Chrysalus  ? 

Pistoc.  (aside).  He  must  now  be  consoled  by  me;  I'll 
accost  him.  (Aloud.)  Hallo,  Mnesilochus !  what's  the  matter  ? 

Mnes.  I'm  ruined.  Pistoc.  May  the  Grods  grant  better 
things ! 

Mnes.  I'm  ruined.  Pistoc.  Won't  you  hold  your  tongue, 
simpleton  ? 

Mnes.  Hold  my  tongue?  Pistoc.  Tou  are  not  now 
quite  right  in  your  senses. 

Mnes.  I'm  undone.  Many  sharp  and  poignant  woes  are 
now  arising  in  my  breast.  Did  I  not  put  faith  in  that  accu- 
sation ?   "Without  any  cause  was  I  angry  with  you. 

Pistoc.  Come,  come,  do  have  a  good  heart. 

Mnes.  Whence  have  it  ?  A  dead  man  is  of  more  value 
than  I  am. 

Pistoc.  The  Captain's  Parasite  came  here,  just  now,  to 
fetch  the  gold  hence.  I  drove  the  fellow  away  from  this  door 
and  from  this  fair  one,  and  packed  him  off  through  my  harsh 
language. 

Mnes.  But  of  what  service  is  that  to  me  ?  Wretch  that 
I  am,  what  shall  I  do  ?  I  have  nothing ;  and  he  certainly  will 
carry  her  off. 

Pistoc.  By  my  faith,  if  I  had  the  means,  I'd  engage  not. 

Mnes.  I  know  you'd  give  it  me ;  I  know  your  ways ;  and 
were  you  not  in  love,  I  should  now  have  the  very  greatest  pos- 
sible confidence  in  your  assistance.  At  present,  you  yourself 
have  more  than  enough  of  your  own  business,  for  me  to 
suppose  that  you,  who  are  in  want  yourself,  are  able  to 
give  me  any  assistance. 

Pistoc.  Do  but  hold  your  tongue:  some  Divinity  will 
favour  us. 

Mnes.  Nonsense.  (Moves  as  if  going.)  Pistoc.  Do  stay. 
(Takes  hold  of  him.) 

Mnes.  What's  the  matter  ?  Pistoc.  Why,  I  see  Chry- 
salus here,  vour  main  resource. 


Se.  IT.  OR,  THE  twie-sistebs.  188 

Scene  TV. 

Enter  Ciirysaltjs,  at  a  distance. 

Chets.  (to  himself).  It's  right  this  man  (pointing  to  him- 
self) should  be  worth  his  weight1  in  gold :  it's  fair  that  a 
statue  of  gold  should  be  erected  for  him.  For,  this  day,  two 
exploits  have  I  achieved ;  with  twofold  spoils  have  I  been 
graced.  So  cleverly  have  I  gulled  my  elder  master  this  day, 
that  he  has  been  made  a  fool  of.  The  crafty  old  blade,  by  my 
crafty  tricks,  have  I  compelled  and  constrained  to  believe  me 
in  everything.  Then,  for  the  son  of  the  old  gentleman,  my 
master  here  in  love,  together  with  whom  I  drink,  with  whom  I 
eat  and  go  a-courting,  I  have  procured  regal  and  golden  trea- 
sures, that  he  may  take  from  thence  at  home,  and  not  go 
seeking  abroad.  Those  Parmenos2,  and  those  Syruses,  please 
me  not,  who  filch  some  two  or  three  minse  from  their  masters. 
There's  nothing  more  worthless  than  a  servant  without  skill — 
worthless,  if  he  has  not  a  breast  mightily  well-stocked,  so  that, 
whenever  there  is  necessity,  he  may  draw  his  supply  from  his 
own  breast.  No  one  can  be  a  person  well  to  do  *  *  * 
unless  he  understands  both  how  to  do  good  and  how  to  do  evil. 
With  rogues  he  must  be  a  rogue ;  with  thieves  let  him  filch 
whatever  he  can.  It  befits  him  who  is  truly  wise,  to  be  a  person 
that  can  shift  his  very  skin3.  Good  with  the  good  let  him  be, 
bad  with  the  bad :  just  as  things  are,  so  let  him  ever  frame 
his  humour.  But  I  should  like  to  know  how  much  gold  my 
master  has  taken  for  himself,  and  what  he  has  given  up  to  his 
father.  If  he  is  a  prudent  person,  he  has  made  a  Hercules4  of 
his  parent :  he  has  given  him  the  tenth  part,  and  has  kept  back 
nine  for  himself.  But,  see !  the  person  whom  I  was  looking 
for;  he  meets  me  most  opportunely.   (To  Meesilochus.) 

;  Be  worth  his  weight)  — Ver.  640.  "  Auro  expendi."  Literally,  "  to  be  weighed 
against  gold." 

2  Those  Parmenos) — Ver.  649.  Syrus  and  Parmeno  were  the  names  of  certain 
crafty  intriguing  slaves  introduced  in  Comedy.  The  first  occurs  as  the  name  of 
a  slave  in  the  Adelphi  of  Terence ;  the  second  in  his  Eunuchus. 

8  Shift  his  very  skin) — Ver.  658.  "  Vorsipellis."  Literally,  "  a  turner  of  his 
skin ;"  similar  in  meaning  to  our  expression,  a  "  turncoat." 

4  Has  made  a  Hercules) — Ver.  665.  A  tenth  part  of  the  spoil  taken  in  warfare 
was  devoted  to  Hercules ;  and  it  was  believed  to  ennure  prosperity,  if  persons  de- 
voted a  tenth  of  their  possessions  to  the  same  Divinity. 


134  BACCHIDES  ;  Act  IV. 

Has  any  of  your  money  fallen  down,  my  master,  that  thus, 
in  silence,  you  are  looking  down  upon  the  ground  ?  Why  do 
I  see  you  two  sad  and  sorrowful  ?  I  like  it  not ;  and  'tis  not 
without  some  reason.  Are  you  going  now  to  give  me  any 
answer  ? 

Mnes.  I'm  undone,  Chrysalus.  Chets.  Perhaps  you  took 
too  little  of  the  gold. 

Mnes.  How,  a  plague,  too  little  ?  Why,  yes,  indeed,  a  very 
great  deal  less  than  too  little. 

Chets.  Why  the  mischief  then,  simpleton,  since  by  my  skill 
an  opportunity  was  procured  for  that  very  purpose,  that  you 
might  take  as  much  as  you  pleased,  did  you  thus  take  it  up 
with  the  tips  of  two  fingers1  ?  Or,  didn't  you  know  how 
varely  an  opportunity  of  that  kind  presents  itself  to  a  person  ? 

Mnes.  You  are  mistaken.  Chets.  Why,  surely,  'tis  you 
yourself  that  were  mistaken,  when  you  dip't  your  fingers  in 
not  deep  enough. 

Mnes.  I'  faith,  you'd  upbraid  me  more  than  now  you  do,  if 
you  knew  the  matter  better.     I'm  undone. 

Chets.  My  mind  is  now  foreboding  further  mischief  from 
those  words. 

Mnes.  I'm  ruined.     Chets.  How  so  ? 

Mnes.  Because  I've  given  all  up  to  my  father,  with  every 
particle  2  of  it. 

Chets,  Given  it  up  ?     Mnes.  Given  it  up. 

Chets.  What,  all?     Mnes.  Every  jot. 

Chets.  We  are  done  for.  How  came  it  into  your  mind  to 
do  this  deed  so  foul  ? 

Mnes.  I  had  a  suspicion,  Chrysalus,  by  reason  of  a  charge, 
that  Bacchis  and  he  (pointing  to  Pistocleetjs)  had  been 
playing  me  false ;  for  that  reason,  in  my  anger,  I  gave  up  all 
the  gold  to  my  father. 

Chets.  What  did  you  say  to  your  father  when  you  gave 
up  the  gold  ? 

!  Two  fingers) — Ver.  675.  He  says  that  when  he  had  the  opportunity  of 
gathering  up  the  money  by  handfuls,  he  contented  himself  with  taking  it  only 
with  the  tips  of  his  fingers,  that  is,  piece  by  piece;  some  would  take  "  digiti  duo 
primores"  to  mean  "the  two  first  fingers  of  the  hand;"  that  is,  the  forefingei 
and  thumb.     The  meaning,  either  way,  will  be  just  the  same. 

2  With  every  particle)— Ver.  680.  "  Ramentum"  properly  means  the  filings  oi 
scrapings — "  dust  and  all,"  "  every  particle." 


8c.  IV.  OB,  THE  TWTN-SISTERS.  185 

Mnes.  That  I  had  at  once  received  this  gold  from  his  host, 
Archidemides. 

Chrys.  Eh !  by  that  speech  you  have  this  day  consigned 
Chrysalus  to  the  torture ;  for,  when  he  shall  set  eyes  on 
me,  the  old  gentleman  will  carry  me  off  that  instant  to  the 
executioner. 

Mnes.  I've  besought  my  father.  Chrys.  I  suppose,  to 
do,  in  fact,  the  thing  that  I  was  speaking  of  ? 

Mites.  Nay,  not  to  punish  you,  or  to  blame  you  at  all  on 
account  of  this  business.  And  with  some  difficulty  I've  pre- 
vailed.    Now,  Chrysalus,  this  must  be  your  care. 

Chrys.  What  do  you  wish  should  be  my  care  ? 

Mnes.  That  once  again  you  should  make  a  second  inroad 
upon  the  old  gentleman.  Contrive,  devise,  invent  whatever 
you  please ;  frame  your  plans1,  so  that  this  day  you  may 
cleverly  deceive  the  old  man  unawares,  and  carry  off  the 
gold. 

Chry's.  It  scarcely  seems  possible  to  be  done. 

Mnes.  Set  about  it,  and  you'll  easily  effect  it. 

Chrys.  How  the  plague  "  easily,"  for  me,  whom  he  has 
this  moment  caught  out  in  a  lie?  Should  I  entreat  him  not 
to  believe  me  at  all,  he  would  not  venture  even  to  believe 
me  in  that. 

Mnes.  Aye,  and  if  you  were  to  hear  what  things  he  said 
about  you  in  my  presence. 

Chrys.  What  did  he  say  ? 

Mnes.  That  if  you  were  to  say  that  this  sun  was  the  sun, 
he  would  believe  it  was  the  moon,  and  that  that  is  the  night 
which  is  now  the  day. 

Chrys.  By  my  troth,  I'll  bamboozle  the  old  chap  right  well 
this  very  day,  so  that  he  shan't  have  said  that  for  nothing. 

Pistoc.  Now,  what  would  you  have  us  do  ? 

Chrys.  Why,  nothing,  except  that  I  beg  you'll  still  love 
on.  As  for  the  rest,  ask  of  me  as  much  gold  as  you  please  ; 
I'll  find  it  you.  Of  what  use  is  it  for  me  to  have  the  name 
of  Chrysalus1,  unless  I  give  proofs  by  fact?  But  now,  tell 
me,  Mnesilochus,  how  much  gold  is  requisite  for  you. 

1  Frame  your  plans)— Ver.  693.  "  Conglutina."     Literally,  "  glue  the  pieces 
together." 

2  Name  of  Chrysalus) — Ver.  704.  He  alludes  to  hu  name  as  derived  from  the 
Greek  xpvcrbs,  "  gold." 


186  bacchides  ;  Act  YI 

Mnes.  There's  occasion  for  two  hundred  pieces  at  once, 
to  pay  the  Captain  for  Bacchis. 

Chrts.  I'll  find  it  you.  Mnes.  Then  we  have  need  of 
some  for  current  expenses. 

Chrts.  Aye,  aye,  I  wish  us  to  do  each  thing  deliberately ; 
when  I've  accomplished  the  one,  then  I'll  set  about  the 
other.  First,  for  the  two  hundred  pieces,  I  shall  direct  rny 
engine  of  war  against  the  old  gentleman.  U  with  that  en- 
gine  I  batter  down  the  tower  and  the  outworks,  straight 
at  the  gate  that  instant  I'll  attack  the  old  town  and  the  new 
one ;  if  I  take  it,  then  carry  to  your  friends  the  gold  in 
baskets,  just  as  your  heart  wishes. 

Pistoc.  Our  hearts  are  with  you,  Chrysalus. 

Chrts.  Now,  do  you  go  in-doors  to  Bacchis,  Pistoclerus, 
and  quickly  bring  out 

Pistoc.  What  ?  Chrts.  A  pen,  some  wax1,  tablets,  and 
some  cord. 

Pistoc.  I'll  have  them  here  this  instant.  (Goes  into  the 
house.} 

Mnes.  "What  now  are  you  about  to  do  ?     Do  tell  me  that. 

Chrts.  Let  a  breakfast  be  prepared ;  there  will  be  you 
two,  and  your  mistress  will  make  a  third  with  you. 

Mnes.  Just  as  you  say.  Chrts.  Pistoclerus  has  no 
mistress  ? 

Mnes.  0  yes,  she's  here ;  he's  in  love  with  the  one  sister,  I 
with  the  other,  both  of  the  name  of  Bacchis. 

Chrts.  What  were  you  going  to  say  ?  Mnes.  This ;  how 
we  are  to  manage2. 

Chrts.  Where  are  your  couches3  laid  out  ?  Mnes.  Why 
o  you  ask  that  ? 

Chrts.  So  the  matter  stands ;  I  wish  to  be  informed.  Tou 

1  Some  wax) — Ver.  715.  This  wax  was  to  be  used — not  to  be  placed  on  the  sur- 
of  the  tablets,  but  in  the  manner  of  our  sealing-wax,  upon  the  strings  with 

iich  the  tablets  were  fastened. 

2  Are  to  manage) — Ver.  720.  Mnesilochus  is  probably  going  to  ask  how  the} 
are  about  to  arrange,  when  he  is  interrupted  by  Chrysalus,  who  then  asks  him 
what  he  was  going  to  say,  on  which  he  answers  that  he  was  going  to  observe  how 
many  there  would  be  at  the  entertainment. 

3  Your  couches) — Ver.  720.  "  Biclinium  "  is  supposed  to  mean  either  a  snng 
room  fitted  up  with  only  two  "  lecti,"  or  couches  for  reclining  at  meals,  or  else, 
perhaps  with  more  probability,  a  couch  formed  for  holding  two  guests,  instead  of 
three,  as  the  common  "  triclinium  "  did.  It  is  not  unlikely  that  the  use  of  theM 
was  especially  adopted  in  houses  of  the  character  of  that  kept  by  Bacchis. 


Sc.  IV.  OE,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  187 

know  not  what  I  am  about  to  do,  nor  what  a  great  exploit  1 
shall  attempt. 

Mnes.  Give  me  your  hand,  and  follow  me  close,  to  the 
door.  Peep  in.  (Chrtsalus  looks  in  at  the  door  of  the  house 
o/Bacchis.) 

Chrts.  Hurra !  'Tis  a  very  pretty  place,  this,  and  exactly 
as  I  could  wish  it  to  be. 

He-enter  Pistocleru  s,  with  pen  and  tablets. 

Pistoc.  The  things  that  you  ordered — what's  ordered  for 
a  good  purpose  is  forthwith  done  by  the  obedient. 

Chrts.  What  have  you  brought  ?  Pistoc.  Everything 
that  you  bade  me  bring. 

Chrts.  (to  Mnesilochus).  Do  you  take  the  pen  at  once, 
and  these  tablets. 

Mites,  (taking  them).  What  then?  Chrts.  Write  there 
what  I  shall  bid  you  ;  for  I  wish  you  to  write  for  this  reason, 
that  your  father  may  know  the  hand  when  he  reads  it.  Write 
now. 

Mites.  What  shall  I  write?  Chrts.  Health  to  your 
father,  in  your  own  language.     (Mnesilochus  writes.) 

Pistoc.  Suppose  he  were  to  write  "  disease  and  death,"  in 
preference,  that  would  be  much  better. 

Chrts.  Don't  you  interrupt  us.  Mkes.  What  you  have 
ordered  is  now  written  on  the  wax. 

Chrts.  Tell  me  in  what  terms. 

Mnes.  "  Mnesiloclms  sends  health  to  his  father." 

Chrts.  Write  this,  too,  quickly :  "  My  father,  Chrysalus 
is  always  and  everywhere  talking  at  me,  and  in  no  measured 
terms,  because  I  gave  you  up  the  gold,  and  because  I  did 
not  cheat  you  of  it."     (Mnesilochus  writes.) 

Pistoc.  Stop  till  he  has  written  it.  Chrts.  It  befits  the 
hand  of  a  lover  to  be  active. 

Pistoc.  I'  faith,  that  hand  is  more  active  by  far  at  lavishing 
than  at  writing. 

Mnes.  Say  on ;  that's  written  down. 

Chrts.  "  Now,  my  dear  father,  do  you  henceforth  be  on 
your  guard  against  him,  for  he  is  forming  knavish  plans  to 
deprive  you  of  the  gold,  and  has  declared  that  he  will  have  it 
beyond  a  doubt."     Write  legibly. 

Mnes.  You  only  dictate.  (Writes?)  Chrts.  "And  he 
promises  that  he  will  give  this  gold  to  me,  for  me  to  give 


188  BACCHIDES  ;  Act  IV, 

away  to  naughty  women,  and  to  consume  it  and  live  like  a 
Greek1  in  dens  of  infamy.  But,  father,  do  you  take  care  that 
he  does  not  impose  on  you  this  day  ;  I  entreat  you,  do  beware." 

Mnes.  Do  say  on.     Chrys.  Just  write  on,  then. 

Mnes.  Only  say  what  I  am  to  write 

Chrys.  (Mnesilochus  writing).  "But,  father,  what  you 
promised  me  I  beg  that  you  will  remember,  that  you  will  not 
beat  him,  but  keep  him  in  chains  at  your  house  at  home." 
Do  you  give  me  the  wax  and  cord  forthwith.  Come,  fasten  it, 
and  seal  it  in  an  instant. 

Mnes.  (sealing  the  tablets).  Prithee,  what  use  is  there  in 
this  writing  after  such  a  fashion,  that  he  is  to  give  no  cre- 
dence to  you,  and  to  keep  you  in  chains  at  home  ? 

Chrys.  Because  it  pleases  me  so.  Can't  you  possibly  take 
care  of  your  own  self,  and  have  no  thought  about  me  ?  In 
confidence  in  myself  I  undertook  the  task,  and  at  my  own 
peril  do  I  carry  on  the  matter. 

Mnes.  You  say  what's  true.    Chrys.  G-ive  me  the  tablets. 

Mnes.  (giving  them).  Take  them.  Chrys.  Give  atten- 
tion now ;  Mnesilochus,  and  you,  Pistoclerus,  do  you  take 
care  that  each  of  you  goes  at  once  and  reclines  on  his  couch 
with  his  mistress ;  so  'tis  requisite;  and  on  that  same  spot 
where  the  couches  are  now  laid,  do  you  forthwith  commence 
to  carouse. 

Pistoc.  Anything  else  ?  Chrys.  This,  and  this  especially : 
when  you  shall  have  once  taken  your  places  together,  don't 
you  arise  anyhow,  until  the  signal  shall  be  given  by  me. 

Pistoc.  O  skilful  commander  !  Chrys.  You  ought  by  this 
time  to  have  taken  your  second  draught. 

Mnes.  Capital;  let's  go.  Chrys.  Do  you  take  care  of 
your  duty,  and  I'll  do  mine.  (Mnesilochus  and  Pistoclerus 
go  into  the  house.) 

Scene  V. 

Chrysalus,  alone. 

Chrys.  A  tremendously  great  business  am  I  undertaking, 

and  I  have  my  fears  how  in  this  one  day  I  may  accomplish  it. 

But  now  I  have  occasion  for  the  old  blade  to  be  fierce  and 

savage  at  me.    For  it  suits  not  this  plan  of  mine  that  the  old 

'  Live  like  a  Greek)— Ver.  743.  It  has  been  before  remarked,  that  the  Greek 
mode  of  free  living  had  passed  into  a  proverb  with  the  Romans,  among  whom  a 
person  of  a  licentious  mode  of  life  was  said  "  congrsecare,"  "  to  live  like  a  Greek.'' 
Plautus  forgets  that  the  scene  is  at  Athens. 


Sc.  VI.  OR,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  189 

fellow  should  be  calm  when  he  has  beheld  me  iu  his  pre- 
sence. I'll  turn  him  about1  this  day,  finely,  if  I  live.  I'll 
have  him  parched  as  well  as  ever  pea  was  parched2.  I'll  walk 
before  the  door,  that  when  he  comes  out,  at  once  as  he  comes 
up,  I  may  put  the  letter3  in  his  hand.  {Stands  near  the  door 
o/'Bacchis.) 

Scene  VI. 
Enter  Nicobulus,  at  a  distance. 

Nico.  This  is  a  matter  of  great  vexation  to  me,  that 
Chrysalus  has  thus  escaped  me  this  day. 

Chrts.  (aside).  I'm  all  right:  the  old  fellow  is  in  a  pas- 
sion.    Now's  my  time  for  me  to  accost  my  man. 

Nico.  Who  speaks  hard  by?  {Looking  round.)  "Why 
surely  this  is  Chrysalus,  I  think. 

Chrts.  (aside).  I'll  accost  him.  Nico.  My  honest  ser- 
vant, hail  to  you.  What's  doing  now  ?  How  soon  do  I  set  sail 
for  Ephesus,  to  bring  back  the  gold  home  from  Theotimus  ? 
What — silent  ?  I  swear  by  all  the  Gods,  if  I  didn't  love  my 
son  so  much  as  to  wish  everything  done  for  him  that  he 
desires  ******  that  your  sides  should  be 
wealed  now  right  well  with  rods,  and  that  in  irons  at  the 
mill  you  should  be  lingering  out  your  life.  I've  learnt  of 
Mnesilochus  all  your  wicked  pranks. 

Chrts.  Has  he  accused  me  ?  Tis  very  good ;  lama  bad 
one,  I  am  a  cursed  one — a  wicked  one.  Only  reflect  upon  the 
matter.     I'll  utter  not  one  word. 

Nico.   What?     Hangdog,  do  you  even  threaten  me4? 

Chrts.  You'll  find  out  before  long  what  sort  of  man  he  is. 
He  ordered  me  just  now  to  carry  this  letter  to  you.  He  re- 
quested that  that  which  is  there  written  may  be  done. 

1  Turn  him  about) — Ver.  766.  It  is  not  improbable  that  this  figure  is  borrowed 
from  frying  fish  in  the  kitchen — "  When  he  is  done  on  one  side,  I'll  turn  him  on 
the  other." 

2  Pea  was  parched) — Ver.  767.  "  Frictum  cicer,"  "  parched  vetches."  Horace 
mentions  these  dainties.  They  were  mostly  purchased  by  the  lower  orders,  and 
by  slaves. 

3  rut  the  letter) — Ver.  769.  His  object  is  to  entrap  old  Nicobulus  in  such  « 
way  that  he  must  of  necessity  see  his  son  in  the  company  of  the  damsels,  on  which 
he  will  be  inclined  the  more  readily  to  believe  the  story  that  he  has  formed  an  in- 
trigue with  the  wife  of  the  Captain. 

4  Even  threaten  me) — Ver.  785.  Nicobulus  takes  it  for  a  threat,  when  he  tells 
him  "  specta  rem  mode,"  "  only  reflect  upon  the  matter." 


190  bacchides  ;  Act  IV. 

Nico.  Give  it  me.  Cheys.  Take  notice  of  the  seal  (  Give* 
him  the  tablets.) 

Nico.  I  know  it.     Where  is  he  himself? 

Cheys.  I  don't  know.  I  ought  to  know  nothing  now; 
I've  forgotten  everything.  I  know  that  I'm  a  slave ;  I 
know  not  even  that  which  I  do  know.  (Aside.)  Now  from  the 
springe  this  thrush  is  catching  at  the  worm  ;  he'll  be  finely 
noosed  this  day,  so  well  I've  set  the  snare. 

Nico.  Stay  here  but  a  moment;  I'll  return  to  you 
directly,  Chrysalus.     (Goes  into  his  house.) 

Cheys.  How  he  does  dissemble  with  me  ;  how  ignorant  I 
am  of  the  business  he's  about.  He  has  gone  to  fetch  slaves 
from  in-doors  to  bind  me.  The  ship  speeds  prosperously  on  ; 
finely,  too,  is  this  craft  boarding  it1.  But  I'll  hold  my  tongue, 
for  I  hear  the  door  opening. 

Scene  VII. 
He-enter  Nicobulus,  with  Slaves  carrying  fetters. 

Nico.  Artamo,  do  you  fasten  the  hands  of  that  fellow, 
this  very  instant.     (The  Slaves  bind  him.) 

Cheys.  "What  have  I  done  ?  Nico.  Pitch  your  fist  into 
him  if  he  mutters  a  word.  (To  Cheysalus,  pointing  at  the 
tablets?)  What  does  this  letter  say  ? 

Cheys.  Why  do  you  ask  me  ?  As  I  received  it  from  him, 
so  I've  brought  it  sealed  to  you. 

Nico.  Come  now,  you  rascal,  have  you  not  shamefully 
abused  my  son  in  your  talk,  because  he  gave  me  up  that  gold, 
and  said  that  you  would  still  take  that  gold  away  from  me  by 
Borne  knavish  trick  ? 

Cheys.  Have  I  said  so?     Nico.  You  have. 

Cheys.  What  person  is  there,  who  says  that  I've  said  so  ? 

Nico.  Hold  your  tongue.  No  person  says  so ;  this  letter 
which  you  have  brought  me  accuses  you.  See,  'tis  this  that 
requests  you  to  be  chained.     (Points  to  the  open  tablets.) 

Cheys.  Ah !  your  son  has  been  making  a  Bellerophon2  of 

1  Craft  boarding  it) — Ver.  797.  "  Pulcre  hsec  confertur  ratis."  This  is  a 
figure  taken  from  naval  affairs.  Ships  were  said  "  con ferri"  when  they  closed 
together  on  commencing  the  engagement. 

2  A  Bellerophon)— Ver.  810.  He  alludes  to  the  hero  Bellerophon,  who,  heing 
accused  by  Sthenoboea  of  having  made  an  attempt  on  her  chastity,  was  sent  by 
Prcetus,  King  of  Argos,  with  a  letter  to  Iobates,  in  which  he  was  desired  to  put 
the  hearer  to  death. 


Sc.  VII.  OH,  1HE  TWIN-SISTERS.  191 

me ;  I  myself  brought  this  letter,  for  the  purpose  that  I 
might  be  bound.     Be  it  so. 

Nico.  This  I  am  doing  for  this  reason,  because  you  per- 
suade my  son  to  live  like  a  Greek  with  you,  you  thrice-dotted 
villain. 

Chrts.  (aside).  0  fool,  fool,  you  know  not  that  you  are 
at  this  moment  on  sale ;  and  that  you  are  standing  on  the 
very  stone1  as  the  auctioneer  puts  you  up. 

Nico.  (overhearing  him).  Answer  me  ;  who  is  selling  me? 

Cheys.  He  whom  the  Grods  favour2  dies  in  youth,  while 
he  is  in  his  health,  has  his  senses  and  judgment  sound.  This 
person  (pointing  to  Nicobulus),  if  any  God  had  favoured 
him,  ought  to  have  been  dead  more  than  ten  years — aye, 
more  than  twenty  years  ago.  'Tis  for  long,  he  has  walked,  a 
nuisance,  on  the  earth  ;  so  devoid  is  he  of  either  judgment  or 
sense.     He  is  of  as  much  value  as  a  rotten  mushroom  is. 

Nico.  Do  you  think  that  1  am  a  nuisance  to  the  earth  ? 
Away  with  him  in-doors,  and  tie  him  tightly  to  the  post. 
You  shall  never  take  away  any  gold  from  here. 

Chrts.  No,  but  you'll  soon  be  giving  it  me. 

Nico.  I,  give  it  you  ?  Chrts.  You'll  be  entreating  me, 
too,  of  your  own  accord  to  receive  it,  when  you  shall  come  to 
know  this  accuser  of  mine,  in  how  great  danger  and  in  what 
a  dreadful  situation  he  is.  Then  will  you  be  offering  his  liberty 
to  Chrysalus;  but  I  certainly  shan't  accept  it. 

Nico.  Tell  me,  source  of  mischief,  tell  me,  in  what  danger 
is  my  son  Mnesilochus. 

Chrts.  Follow  me  this  way  ;  I'll  soon  let  you  know. 

Nico.  Where  on  earth  shall  I  follow  you  ? 

Chrts.  Only  three  steps.     Nico.  Aye,  ten  even. 

Chrts.  Come,  then,  Artamo,  do  you  open  you  this  door 
but  a  very  little  way ;  softly,  don't  make  it  creak.   (The  door, 
of  the  house  of  Bacchis  is  opened.)      That's  enough.     Now, 
step  you  hither.  (To  Nicobulus,  who  looks  in.)     Do  you  see 
the  entertainment  ? 

1  On  the  very  stone)— Ver.  815.  He  alludes  to  the  stone  upon  which  the 
"  praeco,"  or  "  auctioneer,"  stood  witn  the  slaves,  when  he  sold  them  by  auction. 
Only  the  cheapest  and  the  least  desirable  of  them  were  sold  in  this  way. 

2  Whom  the  Gods  favour) — Ver.  817.  Menander  has  a  sentence  to  the  effect— 
4(  He  whom  the  Gods  love,  dies  young."  Chrysalus  tells  Nicobulus  that  h«  is 
ck'arly  no  favorite  of  the  Gods,  or  he  would  have  died  long  since. 


192  BACCHIDES  ;  Act  IV. 

Nico.  {still  looking  in).  I  see  Pistoclerus  and  Bacchis 
right  opposite. 

Chrts.  Who  are  upon  that  other  couch  ? 

Nico.  (looking  on  the  other  side).  "Wretch  that  I  am,  I'm 
undone.     Chrts.  Do  you  recognize  that  person  ? 

Nico.  I  do  recognize  him.  Chrts.  Now  tell  me,  if  you 
please,  does  that  woman  seem  of  handsome  appearance  ? 

Nico.  Very  much  so.  Chrts.  Well,  do  you  take  her  to 
be  a  courtesan  ? 

Nico.  Why  not  ?     Chrts.  You  are  mistaken, 

Nico.  Who  is  she  then,  prithee  ?  Chrts.  You'll  find  out ; 
from  me,  indeed,  you'll  get  no  more  information  to-day. 

Scene  VIII. 
Enter  Cleomachus,  at  a  distance. 

Cleom.  (aloud).  Is  this  Mnesilochus,  the  son  of  Nicobu- 
lus,  by  force  to  detain  my  own  mistress  ?  What  proceeding 
is  this  ? 

Nico.  Who's  this  ?  Chrts.  (aside).  This  Captain's  oppor- 
tunely come  for  me. 

Cleom.  He  doesn't  consider  that  I  am  a  soldier,  but  a 
woman,  who  cannot  defend  myself  and  mine.  But  may 
neither  Bellona  nor  Mars  ever  put  confidence  in  me,  if  I  don't 
put  him  out  of  life,  if  I  meet  him,  or  if  I  don't  make  him 
lose  possession  of  his  existence. 

Nico.  Chrysalus,  who's  this  that's  threatening  my  son? 

Chrts.  This  is  the  husband  of  that  woman  with  whom  he 
is  now  reclining. 

Nico.  What!     The  husband? 

Chrts.  The  husband,  I  say.  Nico.  Prithee,  is  she  mar- 
Tied  then  ? 

Chrts.  You'll  know  before  very  long. 

Nico.  Wretch  that  I  am;  I'm  utterly  undone. 

Chrts.  How  now  ?  Does  Chrysalus  seem  such  a  villain  to 
you  ?  Come,  chain  me  now1,  and  do  listen  to  your  son.  Didn't 
I  tell  you  that  you  would  discover  what  sort  of  person  he  is  ? 

Nico.  What  shall  I  do  now  ?  Chrts.  Order  me  at  once 
to  be  released,  if  you  please ;  for,  if  I'm  not  released,  he'll 
just  now  be  overpowering  the  young  man  in  our  presence. 

'  Ciain  me  now) — Ver.  855.  He  says  this  satirically,  pointing  to  h«s  fettera 


5c.   V1I1.  Oil,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  198 

Cleom.  There's  no  gam  that  I  should  this  day  take  so 
much  delight  in  making,  as  I  should  in  falling  upon  him  as 
he  reclines  with  her,  so  that  I  might  kill  them  both. 

Chrts.  (to  Nicobultjs).  Don't  you  hear  what  he  says  r 
Why  don't  you  order  me  to  be  released  ? 

Nico.  (to  the  Slaves).  Unbind  him.  I'm  ruined;  wretch 
that  I  am  !     I'm  in  a  dreadful  fright. 

Cleom.  Then  I'd  make  her,  who  publicly  puts  up  her 
person  for  sale,  not  to  say  that  she  has  got  a  person  for  her 
to  laugh  at. 

Chrts.  (to  Nicobulus).  You  may  make  terms  with  him 
for  a  little  money. 

JSTico.  Make  terms,  then,  I  beg,  for  what  you  like ;  so 
that  he  mayn't,  in  our  presence,  fall  upon  the  young  man,  or 
kill  him  outright. 

Cleom.  Unless  the  two  hundred  Philippeans  are  repaid 
to  me  at  once,  I'll  this  instant  swallow  the  lives  of  them 
both  outright. 

Nico.  (to  Chrtsaltjs).  Make  terms  with  him,  if  you  can ; 
prithee,  do  make  haste  ;  agree  for  any  sum  you  like. 

Chrts.  I'll  go,  and  do  it  carefully.  ( Goes  up  to  Cleo- 
machus.)  "Why  are  you  exclaiming  so  ? 

Cleom.  Where's  your  master?  Chrts.  Nowhere;  I 
don't  know.  Do  you  wish  the  two  hundred  pieces  to  be 
promised  you  at  once,  so  as  to  make  no  riot  or  disturbance 
here  ? 

Cleom.  There's  nothing  that  I  would  desire  more. 

Chrts.  And  that  I  may  heap  many  a  curse  upon  you  ? 

Cleom.  Just  as  you  please.  Chrts.  (aside).  How  the 
villain  does  cringe.  (To  Cleomachtjs.)  This  is  the  father  of 
Mnesilochus :  follow  me ;  he  shall  promise  it  you.  Do  you 
ask  for  the  gold.  As  to  the  rest,  a  word's  enough1.  (They 
go  up  to  Nicobultjs.) 

Nico.  What  has  been  done?     Chrts.  I've   struck   the 

II  bargain  for  two  hundred  Philippeans. 
Nico.  Well  done!     Goddess  Salvation2,  thou  hast  saved 
me.     Well,  how  soon  am  I  to  say  I'll  pay  it  ?    . 

1  A  word's  enough) — Vex.  878.  He  says  this,  as  he  is  afraid  that  if  the  con- 
versation proceeds  to  any  length,  the  old  man  will  discover  that  she  is  not  the 
;  Captain's  wife. 

Salvation) — Ver.  879.  It  was  a  proverbial  expression  with  the  Romans  to  day 
'hat  the  Goddess  "  fealus,"  "health."  or  "salvation,"  "had  saved,"  or  "could 
lot  save  "  a  person,  as  the  case  might  bv. 


194  BACCH1DE8  :  Act  IV. 

Chrys.  (to  Cleomachus).  Do  you  ask  it  of  him;  and  (to 
Nicobulus)  do  you  promise  it  him. 

Nico.  I  promise  it.     (To  Cleomachus.)   Come,  ask  me. 

Cleom.  Will  you  give  me  two  hundred  golden  Philip- 
pean  pieces,  lawful  money  ? 

Chrys.  "  They  shall  be  given,"  say :  do  answer  him. 
'  Nico.  I'll  give  them.  Chrys.  Well,  now,  filthy  fellow 
is  there  anything  owing  to  you  ?  Why  are  you  plaguing 
him  ?  Why  are  you  frightening  him  about  death  ?  Both  1 
and  he  wish  you  every  ill  luck.  If  you  have  a  sword,  still 
we  have  a  spit  at  home ;  with  which,  in  fact,  if  you  provoke 
me,  I'll  make  you  more  full  of  holes  than  a  rat's  skin}  when 
caught  in  a  trap.  V  faith,  for  my  part,  some  time  since  I 
found  out  what  suspicion  it  was  that  tormented  you ;  namely, 
that  he  was  with  that  wife  of  yours. 

Cleom.  Yes;  and  so  he  is.  Chrys.  So  may  Jupiter, 
Juno,  Ceres,  Minerva,  Hope;  Latona,  Ops,  Virtue,  Venus, 
Castor,  Pollux,  Mars,  Mercury,  Hercules,  Summanus2,  the 
Sun,  Saturn,  and  all  the  Deities,  prosper  me,  he  neither  re- 
clines with  her,  nor  walks,  nor  kisses,  nor  does  that  which  is 
wont  to  be  reported. 

Nico.  (aside).  How  he  does  swear!  He's  saving  me, 
however,  by  his  perjury. 

Cleom.  Where  then,  at  this  moment,  is  Mnesilochus  ?• 

Chrys.  His  father  has  sent  him  into  the  country.  And 
she  has  gone  hence  to  the  citadel,  to  see  the  temple  of 
Minerva.     The  Poor's  open  now ;  go  in,  and  see  if  he's  there. 

Cleom.  I'll  be  off  to  the  Forum  next. 

Chrys.  Or  rather,  by  my  troth,  to  very  perdition. 

Cleom.  Am  I  to  demand  this  gold  to-day  ? 

Chrys.  Demand  it,  and  go  hang  yourself ;  don't  you  sup- 
pose, you  worthless  fellow,  that  we  shall  be  entreating  of  you. 
(Exit  Cleomachus.)     He's  taken  himself  off.     Permit  me, 

1  A  rat's  skm)—Ver.  889.  "Soricina  nasnia,"  "than  a  rat's  ditty,"  literally. 
This  was,  no  doubt,  a  proverbial  saying,  and  speaking  elliptically,  was,  perhaps, 
intended  to  apply  to  the  squeaking  of  a  rat  when  his  body  was  pierced  with  holes 
while  held  fast  in  the  trap.  There  is,  however,  great  obscurity  in  the  passage,  and 
Commentators  are  very  much  divided  as  to  its  meaning. 

2  Summanus) — Ver.  895.  It  is  not  accurately  known  who  the  Deity  Summanus 
was.  Ovid,  in  his  Fasti,  B.  6,  1.  731,  speaks  in  uncertainty  of  him.  He  is,  how- 
ever, generally  thought  to  have  been  the  same  with  Pluto,  who  was  so  called  as 
being  "  Summus  Manium,"  "  the  Chief  of  the  Spirits."  Varro  says  that  his  wor 
Ship  was  introduced  by  Tatius  the  Sabine. 


Sc.  IX.  OE,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  195 

master,  I  entreat  you  by  the  immortal  Gods,  to  go  m-doors 
here  to  your  son.     {Pointing  to  the  house  of  Bacchis.) 

Nico.  But  why  go  in  there  ?  Chrys.  That  with  many 
words  I  may  rebuke  him,  since  after  this  fashion  he  has 
been  going  on  this  way. 

Nico.  Well,  I  beg  you  will  do  so,  Chrysalus;  and  I  entreat 
you  not  to  spare  him  in  your  talking  to  him. 

Chrys.  And  do  you  instruct  even  myself  ?  Isn't  it  suffi- 
cient, if  this  day  he  shall  hear  from  me  more  harsh  things 
than  ever  Clinias  heard1  from  Demetrius  ?  {Goes  into  the 
house  of  Bacchis.) 

Nico.  This  servant  of  mine  is  very  like  a  running  eye;  if 
you  have  it  not,  you  don't  wish  for  it  or  desire  it ;  if  you  have 
it,  you  can't  keep  off  from  rubbing  it.  But  if  he  hadn't,  by 
lucky  chance,  been  here  to-day,  the  Captain  would  have 
surprised  Mnesilochus  with  his  wife,  and  have  killed  him 
as  an  adulterer  detected  in  the  fact.  Now,  in  a  manner  have 
I  ransomed  my  son  with  the  two  hundred  Philippeans  which 
I  have  promised  to  give  to  the  Captain ;  which,  however,  I 
shall  not  rashly  pay  him  down,  before  I  have  met  with  my  son. 
By  my  troth,  I'll  never  rashly  give  credence  in  anything  to 
Chrysalus.  But  I  have  a  mind  even  once  again  to  read  over 
this  letter ;  'tis  right  that  when  a  letter  is  sealed  we  should 
give  credence  to  it.     {Goes  into  his  house.} 

Scene  IX. 

Enter  Chrysalus  from  the  house  of  Bacchis. 

Chrys.  The  two  brothers,  the  sons  of  Atreus,  are  said  to 
have  done  a  most  famous  deed,  when,  with  arms,  and  horses, 
and  an  army,  and  with  chosen  warriors,  and  with  ships  a 
thousand  in  number,  after  the  tenth  year,  they  subdued 
Pergamus,  the  native  land  of  Priam,  founded  by  hands 
divine.  Not  more  decidedly  did  it  fall  by  the  engine  of  war, 
than  I  shall  storm  my  master  here,  without  a  fleet,  and  with- 
out an  army  and  so  great  array  of  soldiers.  I  have  won,  I 
have  taken  by  storm  this  gold  from  his  father  for  my.master's 
son,  in  his  amour.  Now,  before  the  old  man  comes  here, 
I  wish  to  lament  until  he  does  come  out.     0  Troy !  O  my 

1  Clinias  heard) — Ver.  912.  He  is  alluding  to  a  scene  in  some  play,  then  well 
known,  which  is  now  lost.  In  it,  Demetrius  was  probably  severe  upon  Caiius, 
Hie  Delphin  editor  thinks  that  this  must  have  been  a  proverb. 

o2 


196  BACCHIDES  ;  Act  t  V 

country!  0  Pergamus!  0  Priam!  old  man,  you  are  un- 
done, you,  who'll  be  wretchedly  and  shockingly  choused  out  of 
four  hundred  golden  Philippeans.  For  those  tablets,  sealed 
on  the  one  side  and  on  the  other,  they  are  not  tablets,  but 
the  horse  which  the  Greeks  sent,  of  wood.  Pistoclerus  is 
the  Epeus1 ;  from  him  were  these  received.  Mnesilochus  is 
the  Simon  left  behind.  Behold  him !  not  in  Achilles'  tomb, 
but  on  a  couch  he  reclines :  he  has  Bacchis  with  him ;  just 
as  the  other  formerly  had  the  fire  with  which  to  give  the 
signal ;  so  now  does  she  inflame  himself.  I  am  Ulysses,  by 
whose  advice  they  do  these  things.  Then,  the  characters 
which  there  are  written,  are  the  soldiers  in  this  horse,  armed 
and  of  high  courage.  So  even  thus  far  has  the  matter  pros- 
pered with  me.  This  horse,  too,  will  be  making  his  attack, 
not  on  a  citadel,  but  on  a  coffer2.  A  ruin,  a  destruction,  a 
cleaner-out  of  the  old  man's  gold,  will  this  horse  prove  this 
day.  To  this  silly  old  man  of  ours,  in  fact,  I  give  the  name  of 
Ilium ;  the  Captain  is  Menelaiis  ;  I,  Agamemnon ;  I,  too,  am 
Ulysses,  the  son  of  Laertes  ;  Mnesilochus  is  Alexander3,  who 
will  be  the  destruction  of  his  father's  fortunes  ;  he  has  borne 
off  the  Helen,  on  whose  account  I  am  now  carrying  on  the 
siege  of  Ilium.  For  there  I  have  heard  say  that  Ulysses 
was  both  bold  and  full  of  mischief,  just  as  I  am.  I  have 
been  detected  in  my  tricks — he,  discovered  in  a  beggar's 
guise,  had  almost  perished,  while  he  was  spying  out  there 
the  doings  of  the  Trojans.  Similarly  has  it  happened  to  my- 
self to-day.  I  have  been  bound,  but  by  my  devices  I  have 
redeemed  myself ;  he,  too,  preserved  himself  by  artifice.  I 
have  heard  that  there  were  three  destinies4  attending  Troy, 
which  were  fatal  to  it ;  if  the  statue  should  be  lost  from  the 

1  7a  the  Epeus)— Ver.  937.  Epeus  was  the  builder  of  the  wooden  horse.  When 
the  treacherous  Sinon  was  left  behind,  he  lurked  in  the  tomb  of  Achilles,  or,  ac- 
cording to  some,  in  that  of  Palamedes. 

*  Not  on  a  citadel,  but  on  a  coffer) — Ver.  943.  He  puns  on  the  resemblance  of 
the  words  "  arcem,"  a  "  citadel,"  and  "  arcam,"  a  "  chest"  or  "  coffer." 

s  A  lexander) — Ver.  947.  Alexander  was  one  of  the  names  of  Paris,  the  son  of 
Priam. 

4  There  were  three  destinies) — Ver.  953.  He  has  omitted  three  of  the  circum- 
stances by  which  the  downfall  of  Troy  was  to  be  precipitated — namely:  if  the 
norses  of  Rhesus  should  be  captured  before  they  had  tasted  of  the  pastures  of  Troy 
and  the  waters  of  Xanthus ;  if  the  bow  and  arrow  of  Hercules  should  be  employed 
in  the  siege;  and  if  one  of  the  posterity  of  Achilles  should  be  present,  in  all  whicb 
circumstances  the  Greeks  were  eventually  favoured 


Sc.  IX.  OR,  THE  TWIN-SISTEBS.  197 

citadel ;  whereas  the  second  was  the  death  of  Troilus ;  the 
third  was  when  the  upper  lintel  of  the  Phrygian  gate1  should 
be  demolished.  Just  so  are  there  three  fatalities  for  this 
Troy  of  ours,  corresponding  with  those  three ;  for,  first  oi 
all,  when,  a  short  time  since,  as  I  told  our  old  gentleman 
the  lying  story  about  his  host,  and  the  gold,  and  the  bark, 
then,  that  instant,  did  I  steal  the  statue2  from  the  citadel. 
And  even  then  two  fatalities  were  remaining,  and  no  further 
had  I  taken  this  city.  Afterwards,  when  I  carried  the  letter 
to  the  old  man,  then  I  killed  my  Troilus.  When  he  sup- 
posed, just  now,  that  Mnesilochus  was  with  the  Captain's 
wife,  from  that,  with  difficulty,  did  I  disengage  myself.  And 
that  danger  do  I  compare  to  what  they  say,  how  that  Ulysses, 
recognized  by  Helen3,  was  betrayed  to  Hecuba.  But  as,  in 
olden  time,  by  his  coaxing  arts,  he  liberated  himself  from 
her,  and  persuaded  her  to  let  him  go,  so  I,  by  my  devices, 
have  rescued  myself  from  the  danger,  and  have  deceived  the 
old  man.  Afterwards,  I  engaged  with  the  blustering  Cap- 
tain, who,  unarmed,  takes  cities  with  his  words,  and  there  I 
repulsed  tny  man.  Then  I  engaged  in  fight  with  the  old  gen- 
tleman ;  straightway  by  one  lying  device  did  I  vanquish  him  ; 
by  one  blow,  in  a  moment,  did  I  take  the  spoils  away  from 
him.  He  now  will  give  the  two  hundred  Philippean  piece? 
to  the  Captain,  which  he  has  promised  that  he  will  give. 
#  #  #  #  ISTow,  I  have  occasion  for  another  two 
hundred,  to  be  distributed  when  Ilium  is  taken,  that  there  may 
be  the  usual  draught  of  honeyed  wine4  with  which  the  soldiers 
may  celebrate  their  triumph.  But  this  Priam  is  far  superior 
to  him  of  old.  Not  fifty  sons  only  has  he,  out  four  hundred, 
and  all  choice  ones,  without  a  blemish;  all  these  this  day 
will  I  cut  off  at  two  single  blows.  Now,  if  there  were  any 
purchaser  for  this  Priam  of  ours,  I  would  sell  the  old  fellow 

1  The  Phrygian  gate) — Ver.  955.  This  was  the  Scaean  gate,  near  the  tomb  of 
King  Laomedon 

2  Steal  the  statue) — Ver.  958.  The  Palladium  was  stealthily  canned  off  from  Troy 
by  Ulysses  and  Diomedes. 

3  Recognized  by  Helen)— Ver.  963.  He  alludes  here,  and  in  1.  951,  to  the  occa- 
sion when  Ulysses  entered  Troy  as  a  spy,  in  the  disguise  of  a  beggar,  on  which 
occasion  he  was  recognized  by  Helen. 

*  Draught  of  honeyed  wine) — Ver.  972.  "  Mulsum."  This  was  a  mixture  of  wine 
and  honey,  flavoured  with  myrrh,  cassia,  nard,  costum,  or  pepper.  On  the  occasiea 
of  a  triumph,  the  soldiers  were  treated  to  copious  dra aghts  of  this  mixture. 


19S  bacchides  ;  Act  IV 

in  the  lump1,  whom  I  have  on  sale  the  moment  that  I  shall 
have  taken  the  city.  But,  lo!  I  see  our  Priam  standing 
before  the  door ;  I'll  go  and  speak  to  him. 


Scene  X. 
Enter  Nicobtjlus /rom  his  house. 

Nico.  Pray,  whose  voice  is  it  that  sounds  near  me  ? 

Chrys.  ONicobulus!     Nico.  What's  the  matter? 

Chrts.  O,  capital !  Nico.  "Well,  have  you  done  aught  of 
what  I  sent  you  upon  ? 

Chrys.  What — ask  you  that  ?     Step  closer  this  way. 

Nico.  (coming  nearer).  Well,  I  do  come  closer.  Chrts.  I 
am  an  excellent  pleader.  By  rebuking  him,  and  by  whatever 
hard  language  I  really  was  able  to  think  of,  I  forced  the 
fellow  to  tears. 

Nico.  What  did  he  say  ?  Chrts.  He  uttered  not  a  word : 
crying,  he  listened  in  silence  to  what  I  was  saying ;  in  silence 
he  wrote  down  on  his  tablets ;  these  sealed  he  gave  to  me ; 
he  bade  me  deliver  them  to  you.  (Gives  him  the  tablets.') 
But  I  am  afraid  that  they  sing  to  the  same  tune  that  the 
former  ones  did.     Observe  the  seal,  is  it  his  ? 

Nico.  I  recognize  it.  I'd  like  to  read  them  over.  (Goes 
to  a  distance?) 

Chrts.  Kead  them  through.  (Aside)  Now  is  the  upper 
lintel2  being  cut  down,  now  is  the  destruction  of  Troy  near 
at  hand.     The  wooden  horse  is  shaking  it  right  cleverly. 

Nico.  Chrysalus,  just  step  here  while  I  am  reading  these 
through. 

Chrts.  Prithee,  what  need  is  there  for  me  to  be  near  you  ? 

Nico.  That  you  may  know  what's  written  here. 

Chrts.  I  don't  care,  and  I  don't  wish  to  know. 

Nico.  Still,  do  come  here.     Chrts.  What  need  is  there  ? 

Nico.  Hold  your  tongue.     Chrts.  I  won't,  I  say. 

Nico.  But  I  will,  I  say.     Chrts.  What  need  is  there  ? 

1  In  the  lump) — Ver.  976.  "  Coemptionalem  senem."  Those  slaves  were  called 
M  coemptionales  "  who,  by  reason  of  age  or  bad  character,  were  so  utterly  worth- 
ess  that  they  would  fetch  no  price,  and  were  consequently  thrown  into  a  lot  with 

other  slaves  or  property  of  real  value. 

2  TJie  upper  lintel)— Ver.  988.  He  alludes  to  the  Phrygian  gate,  which  hi 
has  before  mentioned  in  1.  955. 


SC.  X.  OR,  THE  TWI!NT-SISTERS.  199 

Nico.  Still  do  you  only  do  that  which  I  bid  you. 

Chrts.  I'll  come.  'Tis  right  to  do  so;  your  own  ser- 
vant ought  to  be  obedient  at  yoar  command.  (  Goes  up  to  Mm.) 

Nico.  {looking  at  the  tablets).  Heyday!  he  hasn't  been 
sparing1  of  his  wax  or  pen.  But  whatever  it  is,  I'm  re- 
solved to  read  it  through.  Attend  to  me,  please,  this  very 
instant. 

Chrts.  When  you  choose,  read  on ;  I  devote  to  you  the 
attention  of  my  ears. 

Nico.  (looking  close).  Bless  me  !  the  letters  are  small. 

Chrts.  To  one,  indeed,  who  cannot  see  well  with  his  eyes 
but  they  are  quite  large  enough  for  one  who  can  see  well. 

Nico.  Give  your  attention  then.  (He  reads?)  "  Father, 
I  beseech  you,  do  give  two  hundred  Philippeans  to  Chrysalus, 
if  you  wish  me  to  be  safe  or  alive  for  you " 

Chrts.  By  my  troth,  really  a  very  great  mistake,  I  tell 
you. 

Nico.  "What's  the  matter  ?  Chrts.  He  hasn't  first 
written  the  salutation  to  you. 

Nico.  (looking).  I  don't  see  it  anywhere. 

Chrts.  Even  from  its  very  commencement  the  letter  is  an 
impertinent  one.  If  you  are  wise,  you'll  not  give  it ;  but  at 
the  best,  if  you  give  it  him,  why,  let  him  find  out  some  other 
porter  for  himself,  if  he  is  wise ;  for  I  won't  carry  it  if  you 
order  me  ever  so  much.  I've  been  quite  enough  suspected 
as  it  is,  when  I  was  guiltless  of  a  fault. 

Nico.  Listen  on  now,  while  I  read  through  what's  written. 
(Beading.)  "  I  am  ashamed,  father,  to  appear  before  you  in 
your  presence ;  such  disgraceful  conduct  of  mine  have  I 
heard  that  you  are  aware  of,  that  I  have  formed  an  inter- 
course with  the  wife  of  a  strange  Captain."  By  my  troth, 
you  are  not  joking  there ;  for  I  have  saved  your  life  from 
the  consequences  of  this  foul  deed  with  two  hundred  golden 
Philippeans. 

Chrts.  There's  not  a  particle  of  these  things  but  what 
I've  told  him. 

Nico.  (reading).  "  I  confess  that  I  have  acted  foolishly. 
But  I  beseech  you,  father,  do  not  forsake  me,  if,  in  my  folly,  I 
have  transgressed.     Of  fierce  desires,  and  eyes  uncontrolled, 

1  Ilasn't  been  spnring) — Ver.  993.  By  this  expression  he  means  that  his  sea 
has  written  a  very  long  letter,  as  he  has  been  neither  sparing  of  the  wax  for  the 
tuole's,  nor  of  the  use  of  the  "  stylus"  or  pen- 


200  BACCHIDES  :  Act  IV. 

have  I  been ;  I  have  been  urged  on  to  do  a  deed  of  which  I 
am  now  ashamed."  It  were  proper,  then,  that  yon  should 
have  taken  heed  before  you  were  ashamed. 

Chets.  All  these  very  same  words  did  I  say  to  him  only 
just  now. 

Nico.  (reading).  "  I  beseech  you,  father,  to  consider  that 
it  is  enough  that  Chrysalus  has  reproached  me  with  many 
cutting  words,  and  by  his  advice  has  made  me  a  better  man, 
so  that  'tis  right  that  you  should  return  him  sincere  thanks." 

Chets.  Is  that  written  there  ?  Nico.  Look  and  see, 
then  you'll  know.     (Shows  him  the  letter.) 

Chets.  He  that  has  so  offended,  how  humble  to  all  he  is, 
and  of  his  own  accord. 

Nico.  (reading).  "  Now,  father,  if  even  yet  I  may  be 
allowed  to  ask  anything  of  you,  do  give  me  two  hundred  Phi- 
lippean  pieces,  I  do  entreat  you." 

Chets.  By  my  troth,  now,  not  one  even,  if  you  are 
wise. 

Nico.  Let  me  read  on.  (Beading?)  "  In  set  form1  I  have 
taken  an  oath  that  I  would  give  this  to  the  woman  this  day 
before  nightfall,  ere  she  leaves  me.  Now,  father,  have  a  care 
that  I  be  not  forsworn,  and  take  me  hence  away  from  her  as 
soon  as  you  can,  on  whose  account  I  have  incurred  so  much 
loss  and  guilt.  Take  care  and  let  not  the  two  hundred  pieces 
be  a  cause  of  annoyance  to  you ;  I  will  repay  you  innu- 
merable times  as  much,  if  I  live.  Farewell,  and  do  attend 
to  these  matters."     Now,  Chrysalus,  what  do  you  think  ? 

Chets.  I  won't  give  you  one  bit  of  advice  this  day,  and  I 
won't  run  the  risk,  that  if  any  mistake  is  made,  you  should 
say  that  you  had  done  it  by  my  counsel.  But,  as  I  conceive, 
if  I  were  in  your  place,  I  would  rather  give  the  gold  than 
suffer  him  to  be  corrupted.  There  is  a  twofold  choice  ;  con- 
sider which  you  would  adopt ;  either  to  lose  the  gold,  or 
for  a  lover  to  be  forsworn.  I  neither  order  you,  nor  forbid 
you,  nor  do  I  persuade  you. 

Nico.  I'm  sorry  for  him.  Chets.  Tou  don't  do  anything 
surprising — he  is  your  son.  If  still  more  must  be  lost,  'tis 
better  for  it  to  go,  than  for  this  disgrace  to  bo  everywhere 
proclaimed. 

Nico.  By  my  troth,  I  certainly  had  much  rather  he  had 

1  In  set  form)— Ver.  1028.  Of  course  the  oath  would  be  the  more  solemn  in 
such  case. 


Sc*.  X.  OL,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  201 

been  at  Ephesus,  so  long  as  he  was  well,  than  that  he  had 
returned  home.  But  why  don't  I  hasten  to  get  rid  of  that 
which  is  doomed  to  he  squandered  away  ?  I'll  bring  you  just 
now  from  m-doors  twice  two  hundred  Philippeans,  both  those 
which,  a  little  time  since,  to  my  sorrow,  I  promised  to  the 
Captain,  and  these  others.  Wait  there ;  I'll  be  out  to  you, 
Chrysalus,  this  instant.     {Goes  into  his  house.} 

Chrts  Troy  is  laid  waste,  the  chiefs  have  razed  Pergamus. 
I  knew  some  time  ago  that  I  should  be  the  ruin  of  Pergamus. 
I'  faith  I  wouldn't  dare  make  a  bet  with  him  who  should  say 
that  I  was  deserving  of  severe  torture ;  so  great  confusion 
am  I  making.  But  the  door  makes  a  noise ;  the  plunder's 
being  brought  forth  from  Troy.  For  the  present  I'll  hold  my 
tongue. 

He-enter  Nicobtjltjs  with  the  money  in  two  hags. 

Nico.  Take  you  this  gold,  Chrysalus  ;  go,  carry  it  to  my 
son.  But  I'll  go  hence  to  the  market-place  to  pay  this  to 
the  Captain. 

Chrts.  For  my  part,  I'll  not  receive  it ;  do  you  seek 
somebody  at  once  to  take  it.  I  won't  have  it  entrusted 
to  me. 

Nico.  But  do  take  it ;  you're  worrying  me  now.  {Holds  it 
to  him.) 

Chrts.  For  my  part,  I'll  not  take  it. 

Nico.  But,  prithee  do.  Chrts.  I  am  telling  you  what 
is  the  fact. 

Nico.  You  are  delaying  me.  Chrts.  I  don't  want,  I 
say,  the  gold  t©  be  entrusted  to  me.  At  all  events,  find  some 
person  to  keep  a  watch  upon  me. 

Nico.  You're  plaguing  me.  Chrts.  Well,  give  it  me,  if  it 
must  be  so.     (Holds  out  his  hand.) 

Nico.  (gives  him  the  money) .  Take  care  of  it.  I'll  be  back 
here  just  now.  (JExit. 

Chrts.    I've  taken  care that  you   shall   be   a   most 

wretched  old  fellow ;  this  is  bringing  an  undertaking  to  a  fair 
ending ;  even  as  it  has  proved  my  lot  to  go  rejoicing,  laden 
with  the  spoil.  With  safety  to  myself,  and  the  city  taken 
by  stratagem,  I  now  bring  home  my  wrhole  army  unhurt.  But, 
Spectators,  don't  you  now  be  surprised  that  I  don't  go  in  tri- 
umph ;  'tis  such  a  common  thing,  I  don't  care  for  it.     Still 


202  bacchides  ;  Act  V 

however,  the  soldiers  shall  be  received  with  the  usual  honeyed 
wine.  Now  I'll  carry  off  all  this  booty  at  once  to  the 
Quaestor1.     {Goes  into  the  house  o/"Bacchis.) 

Scene  XI. 

Enter  Philoxenus. 

Phil.  The  more  I  revolve  it  in  my  breast,  what  disturb- 
ances my  son  has  raised,  into  what  a  course  of  life,  and  into 
what  habits  he  unwittingly  has  headlong  plunged  himself,  the 
greater  is  my  concern,  and  the  more  do  I  dread  lest  he  may  be 
ruined  or  corrupted.  I  know  it ;  I  once  was  of  the  same  age, 
and  I  did  all  these  things  ;  but  in  a  quiet  way.  I  was  gay,  I 
had  my  mistress,  I  drank,  I  feasted,  I  made  presents,  but  still 
it  was  seldom  I  did  so.  The  methods,  too,  please  me  not  which 
I  see  parents  in  general  employ  towards  their  sons.  I  have  de- 
termined to  give  some  latitude  to  my  son,  that  he  may  have 
some  scope  for  his  inclinations.  I  think  that's  right ;  but 
still,  I  don't  wish  him  to  give  way  too  much  to  sloth  and 
wantonness.  Now  I'm  going  to  Mnesilochus,  to  see  whether, 
as  I  requested,  by  his  endeavours  he  has  turned  him  for 
me  to  virtue  and  to  sobriety ;  as,  indeed,  I  am  sure  he  has 
done  if  he  has  met  him,  of  such  a  disposition  is  he  by  nature. 

{Exit. 


ACT    THE   FIFTH. 

Scene  I. 

Enter  Nicobtjltjs,  wringing  his  hands. 

Nico.  "Whoever  there  are  in  any  place  whatsoever,  who- 
ever have  been,  and  whoever  shall  be,  in  time  to  come,  fools, 
blockheads,  idiots,  dolts,  sots,  oafs,  lubbers2,  I  singly  by  far 
exceed  them  all  in  folly  and  absurd  ways.  I'm  undone. 
I'm  ashamed  of  myself;  that  I  at  this  time  of  life  should 

1  To  the  Qucestor) — Ver.  1075.  It  was  the  custom  of  the  Romans  to  deliver  to 
the  City  Quaestor  the  plunder  taken  in  war,  to  be  employed  in  the  public  service. 
Here  he  means  his  young  master,  Mnesilochus. 

2  Oafs,  lubbers) — Ver.  1088.  "  Blennus"  means,  properly,  "  dirty-nosed,"  and 
thence  "  a  driveller,"  "  an  idiot."  "  Bucco"  was  "  one  who  had  large  puffed-out 
cheeks,"  which  was  considered  to  be  the  mark  ot  a  blockhead  or  fool. 


Sc.  I.  OE,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  203 

disgracefully  Lave  been  twice  made  a  fool  of!  The  more  T 
think  of  this  confusion  which  my  son  has  made,  the  more  am 
I  incensed.  I'm  ruined,  and  I'm  utterly  destroyed ;  I'm  dis- 
tracted in  every  possible  way.  All  plagues  harass  me,  by  all 
modes  of  death  do  I  perish.  This  day  has  Chrysalus  rent  me  in 
pieces  ;  Chrysalus  has  plundered  wretched  me  ;  he,  the  villain, 
by  his  clever  tricks,  has  shaved,  to  the  very  quick,  simple  me, 
just  as  he  has  pleased.  For  the  Captain  says  tkat  she  is  a 
Courtezan,  whom  that  fellow  said  was  his  wife  ;  and  he  has  in- 
formed me  of  everything,  as  each  particular  happened ;  how 
that  she  had  been  hired  by  him  for  this  year;  how  that  that 
much  gold  was  left  to  be  repaid1,  which  I,  most  simple  man,  had 
promised  him.  'Tis  this,  this,  I  say,  through  which  my  breast 
boils  with  indignation2 ;  'tis  this,  in  fine,  by  which  I  am  dis- 
tracted ;  that  I,  at  my  time  of  life,  should  be  made  a  fool  of, 
aye,  by  Heaven,  so  made  a  very  sport  of,  and  with  my  hoary 
head  and  white  beard,  that  wretched  I  should  be  bamboozled 
out  of  my  gold.  Undone  am  I,  inasmuch  as  this  slave  of 
mine  has  dared  in  this  way  to  set  not  the  value  of  a  nutshell 
upon  me.  And  I — if  any  other  way  I  had  lost  a  greater  sum 
— I  should  have  taken  it  less  amiss,  and  have  deemed  it  less 
of  a  loss  to  me. 

Enter  Philoxenits. 

Philo.  (as  he  enters).  For  sure,  some  person,  I  know  not 
who,  seems  to  be  talking  near  to  me.  But  who's  this  I  see  ? 
Keally,  'tis  the  father  of  Mnesilochus. 

Nico.  Hah  !  I  see  a  partner  in  affliction.  Save  you,  Phi- 
loxenus ! 

Philo.  And  you;  whence  are  you  betaking  yourself? 

Nico.  From  a  place  whence  comes  a  wretched  and  a  luck- 
less mortal. 

Philo.  Why,  troth,  I'm  surely  on  the  earth,  the  spot  where 
it  befits  a  wretched  and  a  luckless  mortal  to  be. 

Left  to  be  repaid) — Ver.  1098.  This  passage  is  rather  ohscure;  hut  it  seerru 
to  mean  that  Bacchis  had  been  engaged  for  a  yea-r  by  the  Captain,  and  that  having 
received  the  whole  sum  when  the  original  agreement  was  made,  she  had  ar- 
ranged to  repay  the  Captain  a  sum  proportionate  to  the  time  that  was  want« 
Kg  io  complete  the  year  engaged  for. 
*  Boils  with  indijjnatieuZ—Ver.  1099.  "  Peracescit."  Literally,  "  turns  sour." 


204  eacchides;  Act"V, 

Nico.  We  now,  as  we  are  of  like  age,  are  meeting  with 
similar  fortunes. 

Philo.  So  it  is.  But  as  to  yourself,  what's  the  matter 
with  you  ? 

Nico.  I'  faith,  mine's  the  same  mishap  as  your  own. 

Philo.  Does  this  misfortune  in  any  way  relate  to  your  son  ? 

Nico.  Such  is  the  fact.  Philo.' The  same  disease  exists 
in  my  own  breast. 

Nico.  Aye,  and  that  very  worthy  fellow,  Chrysalus,  has 
been  ruining  my  son,  myself,  and  all  my  fortunes. 

Philo.  Pray  now,  what  is  this  mishap  of  yours  about  your 
son? 

]N~ico.  Tou  shall  know :  together  with  your  own  son  he's 
undone;  both  of  them  are  keeping  mistresses  alike. 

Philo.  How  do  you  know  ?     Nico.  I  have  seen  them. 

Philo.  Ah !  wretch  that  I  am  !  I'm  ruined  outright.  . 

Nico.  Why  do  we  hesitate  a  moment  to  knock  and  to  call 
them  both  hither  out  of  doors. 

Philo.  I  don't  object.  Nico.  {knocks  at  the  door  of  the 
house  of  Bacchis).  Hallo  there  !  Bacchis !  Bid  the  door  to 
be  opened  this  instant,  if  you  please,  unless  you  had  rather 
the  door  and  the  posts  be  knocked  to  bits  with  hatchets. 

Scene  II. 
Enter  Piest  Bacchis  and  Second  Bacchis  from  the  house. 

1st  Bacch.  "Who  is  it  that  calls  out  my  name  with  such  a 
noise  and  tumult,  and  is  knocking  so  hard  at  the  door  ? 

Nico.  I  and  this  person  here.    {Pointing  to  Philoxentjs.) 

1st  Bacch.  Pray,  what's  the  matter  now  ?  Who  has  been 
driving  these  sheep1  to  us  ? 

Nico.  These  most  shocking  hussies  call  us  sheep. 

2nd  Bacch.  Their  shepherd's  asleep,  as  they  come  stray- 
ing thus  from  the  flock. 

i  Driving  these  sheep)— Ver.  1121  She  calls  them  sheep,  probably,  because 
of  their  venerable  appearance ;  though  she  afterwards  remarks  that  they  are 
but  dirty  sheep.  Perhaps,  too,  it  was  the  custom  among  ladies  of  this  class,  hi 
cant  phrase  to  call  those  "  sheep"  who  could  stand  fleecing;  a  point  on  which  it 
will  be  found  in  the  dialogue  that  they  exchange  remarks.  "  Goats  "  would  havs 
boon  a  more  appropriate  name,  under  tbe  circumstances  for  the  old  sinners. 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THI  TWIN-SISTERS.  205 

1st  Bacch.  But,  i'  faith,  they  are  not  white ;  they  both 
look  dirty. 

2nd  Bacch.  Because  they  have  both  been  shorn  just  now. 

Philo.  How  they  seem  to  be  laughing  at  us. 

Nico.  Let  them,  just  as  long  as  they  please. 

1st  Bacch.  Don't  you  think  that  these  sheep  are  shorn 
three  times  a  year  ? 

2nd  Bacch.  I'  faith,  to-day  one  of  them  has  been  already 
shorn  twice,  that's  sure. 

1st  Bacch.  They  are  old  and  fleeceless1,  both  of  them. 

2nd  Bacch.  But  I  think  they  have  been  in  good  plight  once. 

1st  Bacch.  Prithee,  do  you  see  how  they  are  looking  with 
a  sheep's  eye  at  us  ? 

2nd  Bacch.  By  my  troth,  I  really  do  believe  they  are  with- 
out any  ill  design. 

Philo.  This  happens  to  us  deservedly,  for  having  come 
here. 

1st  Bacch.  "Well,  let  them  be  driven  in-doors  to  fold2. 

2nd  Bacch.  I  don't  know  what  occasion  there  is  for  that, 
as  they  have  neither  milk  nor  wool.  Let  them  stand  as  they 
are.  Of  whatever  value  they  have  been,  they  are  now  out  of 
date  ;  all  their  fruit  has  fallen  off  them  by  this.  Don't  you  see, 
how,  straying  unattended,  they  are  ranging  about  at  liberty  ? 
"Why,  I  fancy  that  they  must  be  dumb  with  age ;  they  don't 
bleat  even,  though  they  are  absent  from  the  rest  of  the 
flock.     They  seem  both  silly  and  worthless. 

1st  Bacch.  Let's  return  in-doors,  sister. 

Nico.  Stay  where  you  are,  both  of  you ;  these  sheep  want 
you. 

2nd  Bacch.  Why,  surely  this  is  a  prodigy ;  sheep  are  ad- 
dressing us  with  a  human  voice. 

Philo.  These  sheep  will  return  you  the  heavy  and  great 
injury  which  they  owe  to  you. 

1st  Bacch.  If  you  owe  me  aught,  I  forgive  it  you ;  keep  it 

1  Old  and  fleeceless) — Ver.  1129.  "Mina  ovis"was  a  sheep  that  had  no  wool 
on  its  belly.  It  is  hard  to  say  why  this  name  was  given  to  it.  If  the  word 
"  mina  "  had  signified  a  certain  coin,  and  not  a  sum  of  money  merely,  we  might 
have  supposed  it  alluded  to  the  smoothness  of  the  coin. 

2  Be  driven  in-doors  to  fold)— Ver.  1134.  "  Cogantur."  Literally,  "  let  them 
be  drivm  within."  "  Cogor  "  was  the  term  applied  to  pen  ling  or  folding  sheep  ox 
Cattle. 


206  BACCHLDE8  ;  Act  V. 

to  yourself;  I'll  never  demand  it  of  you.     But  what  is  the 
reason  that  you  are  threatening  mischief  to  us  ? 

Philo.  Because  they  say  that  our  two  lambs  are  shut 
up  here.     {Pointing  to  the  house?) 

Nico.  And  besides  those  lambs,  my  dog  is  there  concealed 
that  bites1.  If  they  are  not  now  produced  to  us  and  sent  out 
of  the  house,  we  shall  be  furious  rams;  we  shall  attack 
you  forthwith. 

1st  Bacch.  Sister,  I  have  something  to  say  to  you  in 
private. 

2nd  Bacch.  How  now,  prithee  ?     {They  go  apart.) 

Nico.  "Whither  are  they  going?  1st  Bacch.  Sister,  I 
give  to  you  that  old  fellow  that's  farthest  oif,  that  you  may 
have  him  cleverly  smoothed  down;  I'll  now  attack  this 
other  one  that's  angry ;  if  we  can  only  entice  them  here  in- 
doors. 

2nd  Bacch.  I'll  manage  my  task  with  cleverness,  although 
'tis  to  caress  an  old  skeleton.- 

1st  Bacch.  Take  care  and  do  your  lest. 

2nd  Bacch.  Be  quiet ;  do  you  do  yours  ;  I'll  manage  what 
I  have  said. 

Nico.  Why  are  these  two  women  holding  a  council  here 
in  private  ? 

Philo.  What  say  you,  my  good  fellow ? 

Nico.  What  would  you  with  me  ?  Philo.  I  really  am 
ashamed  to  tell  you  a  certain  thing. 

Nico.  What  is  it  that  you're  ashamed  about  ? 

Philo.  Still,  as  you  are  a  person,  a  friend  of  mine,  I'm  de- 
termined to  entrust  you  with  what  I  could  wish.  {Whispers.) 
I'm  good  for  nought. 

Nico.  I've  known  that  this  long  time ;  but  tell  me  why 
you're  good  for  nought  ? 

Philo.  I've  been  terribly  touched  with  birdlime:  troth, 
my  heart  is  pierced  by  the  goad. 

Nico.  I'  faith,  'twere  much  better  if  your  flanks  were 
goaded,  you  worthless  fellow.  But  what  is  it  ?  Although  I 
suspect  that  I  myself  pretty  well  know  already  what  it  is ; 
still,  I  should  even  like  to  hear  it  from  yourself. 

Philo.  Do  you  see  that  woman  ?  {Pointing  to  the  Second 
Bacchis.)     Nico.  I  see  her. 

1  That  bites) — Ver.  1146.  He  alludes  to  his  having  been  bitten  by  Chrysalus. 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  TWIN-SISTERS.  207 

Philo.  She's  not  an  uncomely  person. 

Nico.  Troth,  but  she  is  decidedly  uncomely ;  and  you  are 
ft  good-for-nothing  fellow. 

Philo.  "Why  more  ?     I'm  in  love.     JNico.  You,  in  love  ? 

Philo.  'Pon  honor1.  Nico.  And  do  you,  you  rotten 
creature,  presume  to  become  a  lover  at  your  time  of  life  ? 

Philo.  Why  not?     Nico.  Because  it's  a  disgrace. 

Philo.  What  need  of  words  ?  I  am  not  vexed  with  my 
son,  nor  yet  is  it  right  you  should  be  vexed  with  yours :  if 
they  are  in  love,  they  do  wisely. 

1st  Bacch.  *  *  *  Follow  me  this  way.  (They 
approach  the  old  men.) 

JNTico.  See,  they  are  moving  at  last,  these  allurers  and 
enticers  to  disgrace.  (To  the  women.)  How  now  ?  Do  you 
this  instant  restore  us  our  sons  and  my  servant,  or  am  I 
to  try  rougher  means  with  you  ? 

Philo.  Won't  you  away  with  you  ?  Tou  surely  are 
not  a  man,  to  address  a  pretty  woman  so  rudely  in  that 
fashion. 

1st  Bacch.  Most  worthy  old  gentleman,  by  whatsoever  is 
upon  the  earth,  let  me  entreat  this  of  you,  that  you  will  cease 
to  attack  this  error  with  such  great  vehemence. 

Nico.  If  you  don't  away  with  you,  although  you  are  so 
handsome,  I'll  be  doing  you  some  great  mischief  just  now. 

1st  Bacch.  I  shall  endure  it ;  I  don't  apprehend  that  any 
blow  that  you  can  give,  will  cause 'me  any  pain. 

Nico.  How  smooth  of  speech  she  is.  O  me !  I  am  in 
alarm. 

1st  Bacch.  (aside).  He's  more  calm  already.  (Aloud.)  Step 
this  way  with  me  in-doors  ;  and  there,  if  you  choose,  correct 
your  son.     (Takes  his  arm?) 

Nico.  Avaunt  from  me,  abomination !    (Shakes  her  off.) 

1st  Bacch.  Do,  my  love,  let  me  prevail  upon  you. 

INico.  Tou,  prevail  upon  me  ?  2nd  Bacch.  For  sure,  I 
1  shall  prevail,  at  all  events,  upon  this  gentleman.  (Pointing 
to  Philoxenus.) 

Philo.  Yes,  I  beg  of  you  to  show  me  in-doors. 

'■  Ton  honor)  —  Ver.  1162.  Nat  yap.  This  Greek  phrase  was,  no  dor bt, 
used  as  a  cant  or  off-hand  mode  of  expression,  jus  as  on  similar  occasions  w« 
adopt  the  French  "  oui"  or  "  vraiement,"  "yes,"  "  decidedly." 


208  bacchides;  Act  V. 

2nd  Bacch.  What  a  dear  man  you  are. 

Philo.  But  do  you  know  on  what  condition  you  are 
to  show  me  in-doors  ? 

2nd  Bacch.  That  you  are  to  be  with  me.  Philo  Tou 
mention  all  that  I  desire. 

2nd  Bacch.  ***** 

Nico.  I  have  seen  wicked  men ;  but  not  one  worse  than 
yourself. 

Philo.  I  am  as  I  am.  1st  Bacch.  (to  Nicoettlus).  Step 
this  way  in-doors  with  me,  where  you  may  be  elegantly  re- 
ceived with  viands,  wine,  and  unguents. 

Nico.  Enough,  enough  now  of  your  banquets  ;  it  matters 
not  to  me  how  I'm  received.  My  son  and  Chrysalus  have 
choused  me  out  of  four  hundred  Philippeans.  If  I  don't 
surely  this  day  put  him  to  the  torture,  may  I  never  receive 
as  large  a  sum  again. 

1st  Bacch.  What,  pray,  if  half  the  gold  is  paid  you  back  ? 
Will  you  go  in-doors  here  with  me,  and  so  control  your 
feelings  as  to  forgive  them  their  faults  ? 

Philo.  He'll  do  it.  (Takes  his  arm.)  Nico.  Certainly  not 
— I  won't — I  don't  care — let  me  alone,  now.  (Shakes  him  off.) 
I  had  rather  punish  them  both. 

Philo.  Take  you  care,  you  good-for-nothing  man,  that 
through  your  own  fault  you  don't  lose  even  that  which  the 
favouring  G-ods  offer  you.  One  half  of  the  gold  is  offered ; 
take  it,  and  carouse,  and  enjoy  yourself  with  your  partner'. 

Nico.  What,  am  I  to  carouse  in  that  very  place  where  my 
son  is  being  corrupted  ? 

Philo.  You  must  carouse  there.  Nico.  Am  I  to  be  the 
witness  of  it  when  she  is  reclining  with  him  at  table  ? 

1st  Bacch.  Nay,  so  far  as  I'm  concerned,  i'  faith,  I'll  re- 
cline at  table  with  your  own  self. 

Nico.  My  head  does  itch  so1.  (Aside.)  I'm  a  ruined  man — 
I  can  scarce  deny  her. 

Philo.  And  has  it  not  before  this  come  into  your  mind, 
that  if,  while  you  live,  you  enjoy  yourself,  that,  i'  faith,  is  for 
no  very  long  time ;  and  that,  if  you  lose  the  present  day,  it 
can  never  return  to  you  after  you  are  dead  ? 

Does  itch  so) — Ver.  1192.  Being  in  doubt  what  to  do,  he  scratches  his  head, 
and  then  tries  to  turn  it  off  by  saying,  *'  Bless  me,  how  my  head  does  itch." 


8C.  II.  OR,  THE  TWIN- SISTER*,  ■     200 

Nico.  What  am  I  to  do  ?  Philo.  What  are  you  to  do  ? 
D<>  you  even  ask  it  ? 

Nico.  I  should  like,  and  yet  I'm  afraid. 

1st  Bacch.  What  are  you  afraid  of? 

Nico.  Lest  I  should  be  exposed  before  my  son  and  my 
servant. 

1st  Bacch.  Pray  now,  ray  honey ;  such  things  do  happen. 
He's  your  own  son;  whence  do  you  suppose  that  he  is  to 
have  money,  except  that  only  which  you  give  him  yourself? 
Let  me  obtain  pardon  of  you  for  them  both. 

Nico.  (aside).  How  she  does  work  her  way.  She's  now  pre- 
vailing on  me  against  that  which  I  was  quite  resolved  upon. 

1st  Bacch.  I  will  love  you,  and  embrace  you. 

Nico.  Through  your  doing,  and  for  your  sake  am  I  cor- 
rupted. 

1st  Bacch.  I  certainly  had  rather  'twere  for  your  own  than 
for  mine. 

Nico.  Come  then,  however  that  may  be,  although  it  is 
to  my  disgrace,  I'll  submit ;   I'll  induce  my  feelings  to  do  so. 

1st  Bacch.  Have  I  that  solemnly  promised?  *  * 

Nico.  What  I  have  once  said,  I  will  not  alter. 

1st  Bacch.  The  day  wears  apace.  Come  into  the  house, 
to  take  your  places  at  table :  your  sons  are  expecting 
within 

Nico.  How  soon,  in  fact,  we  may  be  dead,  d'ye  mean  ? 

1st  Bacch.  'Tis  evening,  already  ;  come,  follow  us. 

Philo.  Lead  us  in  like  bondsmen1.  (They  go  into  the  house.} 

1st  Bacch.  (to  the  Spectators).  Bight  cleverly  are  these 
persons  entrapped2  themselves,  who  for  their  sons  had  laid  a 
snare.     (Goes  in.) 

The  Company3  of  Comedians. 
Had  not  these  old  men  been  worthless  from  their  youth 

1  Like  bondsmen) — Ver.  1205.  "  Addicti "  were  those  who  were  made  the  slaves 
of  their  creditors ;  being  thus  by  law  deprived  of  their  liberty  until  they  had  paid 
their  debts. 

2  Thesepersons  entrapped) — Ver.  1206.  The  two  old  men,  at  this  moment,  would 
Form  a  good  companion  picture  to  the  Elders,  who  solicited  the  chastity  of 
Susanna. 

3  The  company)  The  whole  company  of  actors  (Caterva)  now  comes  forward, 
and  chant  or  repeat  the  moral  of  the  Play  which  has  just  been  acted. 

P 


210 


BACHHIDES. 


ActV. 


upwards,  they  would  not.  with  their  hoary  heads,  have  this 
day  done  an  action  so  disgraceful ;  nor,  indeed,  should  we  have 
represented  this,  if  we  had  not,  before  this,  seen  it  happen  that 
fathers  became  the  rivals  of  their  sons  in  the  houses  of  pro- 
curers. Spectators,  we  wish  you  Farewell!  and  that  you 
will  grant  us  loud  applause. 


STICHUS; 
OR,  THE  PARASITE  REBUFFED. 


>     Two  Brothers. 


3Bramatis  persona:. 

Antipho,  an  old  gentleman  of  Athens. 

Epignomus 

Pamphilus1 

Gelasimus,  a  Parasite. 

Stichus,  the  servant  of  Epignomus. 

Sagarin  us,  the  servant  of  Pamphilus. 

Pinacium2,  a  boy. 

A  Piper. 

Philumena3,  the  wife  of  Epignomus. 
Pamphila4,  the  wife  of  Pamphilus,  and  sister  of  Philumena. 
Crocotium,  a  female  servant  of  Philumena. 
Stephanium,  a  female  kitchen  servant  of  Pamphila. 

Scene. — Athens :  a  Street  before  the  house  of  Antipho  and  those  of  Epignomuk 
and  Pamphilus  ;  the  two  latter  being  next  door  to  each  other. 

1  In  the  former  Editions  he  is  called  Pamphilippus.    Ritschel  clearly  shows 
that  this  is  incorrect. 
8  In  the  former  Editions  he  is  called  Dinacium. 

*  In  the  former  Editions  she  is  called  Panegyris. 

*  In  the  former  Editions  she  is  called  Pinacium. 


?5J 


THE    SUBJECT. 


The  plot  of  this  Play  (which  is  supposed  by  some  Commentators  not  to  have  been 
written  by  Plautus)  is  extremely  meagre.  Antipho,  a  wealthy  and  jovial  old 
gentleman  of  Athens,  has  two  daughters,  Philumena  and  Pamphila.  They  are 
married  to  two  brothers,  Epignomus  and  Pamphilus,  who,  having  run  through 
their  property  in  the  company  of  idlers  and  Parasites,  have,  with  the  view  of 
retrieving  their  fortunes,  taken  to  merchandize.  Having  been  absent  three  years 
from  home,  and  no  tidings  being  heard  of  them  whether  they  are  alive  or^not 
Antipho  assumes  the  prerogative  of  a  father,  and  requests  his  daughters  to 
marry  again ;  who  resolve,  however,  to  maintain  their  fidelity  to  their  absent 
husbands.  Philumena  sends  the  Parasite,  Gelasimus,  to  the  harbour  to  see  if 
any  ships  have  arrived.  In  the  meantime,  the  boy,  Pinacium,  brings  her  word 
that  her  husband  has  returned  to  Athens.  He  and  his  brother  meet  the 
Parasite,  and  resist  all  his  attempts  to  fasten  himself  upon  them ;  they  then  go 
home,  and  become  reconciled  to  Antipho,  from  whom,  in  their  poverty,  they  had 
become  estranged ;  and  who  now  requests  them  to  make  him  a  present  of  a 
female  slave.  Stichus,  the  servant,  obtains  a  day's  holiday,  together  with  a 
present  from  his  master  of  a  cask  of  wine.  He  makes  an  entertainment  for 
himself,  his  friend  Sagarinus,  and  their  mistress  Stephanium.  The  Play  con- 
cludes with  a  dance,  to  the  music  of  the  Piper. 


STICHUS1; 
OR,  THE  PARASITE  REBUFFED. 


THE  ACROSTIC  ARGUMENT. 
[Supposed  to  have  been  written  by  Priscian  the  Grammarian.] 
An  old  man  (Senex)  rebukes  his  daughters  because  they  are  so  (  Tarn)  persevering 
in  thus  {ltd)  adhering  to  their  husbands,  brothers,  poor  and  abroad,  and  in 
not  deserting  them.  And,  on  the  other  hand  (Contra),  he  is  softened  down  by 
prudent  words  to  allow  them  to  retain  (Habere)  those  whom  they  have  already 
got.  Enriched  with  wealth,  their  husbands  (  Viri)  come  back  from  beyond  the 
sea ;  each  one  retains  his  own  (Suam)  wife,  and  to  Stichus  a  holiday  is  given. 


ACT    THE    FIKST. 

Scene  I. 
Enter  Philumena  and  Pamphila. 

Phil.  Sister,  I  think  that  Penelope  was  wretched  from 
her  very  soul,  who  was  so  long  deprived  of  her  husband ;  for 
from  our  own  fortunes,  whose  husbands  are  absent  from  us,  we 
judge  of  her  feelings  ;  for  whose  affairs,  still,  in  their  absence, 
both  night  and  day,  sister,  as  is  becoming,  we  are  ever  anxious. 

Pam.  'Tis  right  that  we  should  do  our  duty ;  and  we  do 
not  that  any  further  than  affection  bids  us. 

Phil.  But,  sister,  step  this  way  a  moment ;  I  want  to  speak 
about  the  affairs  of  my  husband. 

Pam.  Ain't  they  prospering,  pray  ? 

Phil.  I  hope  and  wish  so,  indeed.  But,  sister,  at  this  am 
I  vexed,  that  your  and  my  father,  one  who  is  esteemed  as  espe- 

1  Stichus)  Plautus  has  named  this  Play  "  Stichus,"  from  the  servant,  who  is  o 
of  the  characters  in  it,  though  not  the  principal  one,  as  Gelasimus,  the  P 
certainly  occupies  that  place. 


214  STICHTJS  ;  Act.  I. 

cially  honorable  among  all  his  fellow-citizens,  should  be 
now  acting  the  part  of  a  dishonorable  man;  who  is  unde- 
servedly doing  so  great  an  injustice  to  our  absent  husbands, 
and  is  wishing  to  separate  us  from  them.  These  things, 
sister,  render  me  tired  of  existence ;  these  things  are  a  care 
and  a  vexation  to  me.     (She  sheds  tears.) 

Pam.  "Weep  not,  sister,  nor  do  that  to  your  feelings  which 
your  father  is  threatening  to  do.  "lis  to  be  hoped1  that  he  will 
act  more  righteously.  I  know  him  well ;  he  says  these  things 
in  jest ;  and  he  would  not  earn  for  himself  the  mountains  of  the 
Persians,  which  are  said  to  be  of  gold2,  to  do  that  of  which 
you  are  in  dread.  Still,  if  he  does  do  it,  it  befits  you  by  no 
means  to  be  angry ;  nor  will  it  happen  without  some  reason. 
For  this  is  the  third  year  since  our  husbands  have  been  away 
from  home. 

Phil.  'Tis  as  you  say;  while,  in  the  meantime,  they 
may  be  living,  and  may  be  well3,  they  do  not  make  us  ac- 
quainted where  they  are,  what  they  are  doing,  whether  they 
are  doing  well,  neither  do  they  return. 

Pam.  And  do  you,  sister,  regret  this,  that  they  do  not 
observe  their  duty,  whereas  you  do  yours  ? 

Phil.  Troth,  I  do.  Pam.  Hold  your  peace,  if  you  please ; 
take  care,  please,  that  I  hear  not  that  same  thing  from  you  in 
future. 

Phil.  And  why,  pray?  Pam.  Because,  i'  faith,  in  my 
opinion,  'tis  proper  for  all  prudent  people  to  observe  and  to 
do  their  duty.  For  that  reason,  sister,  although  you  are  the 
older,  I  advise  you  to  remember  your  duty ;  and  if  they  are 
unjust  and  act  otherwise  to  us  than  is  right,  then,  i'  faith,  in 
exactly  the  same  degree,  that  there  may  be  no  further  mis-' 
chief,  it  befits  us  studiously  to  remember  our  duty  by  all 
means  in  our  power. 

Phil.  'Tis  good;  I'm  silenced.  Pam.  But  do  take  care 
and  remember  it. 

Phil.  I  do  not  wish,  sister,  to  be  thought  to  be  unmindful 
of  my  husband ;  nor  has  he  thrown  away  the  distinction  that 

1  'Tis  to  be  hoped) — Ver.  22.  "  Spes  est."     Literally,  "  there  is  a  hope." 

2  Said  to  be  of  gold) — Ver.  25.  No  doubt,  as  the  Persians  were  from  an  early 
period  noted  for  their  wealth  and  grandeur,  it  was  a  common  notion  with  the 
people  of  Europe  that  they  had  "  mountains  of  gold." 

3  May  be  well) — Ver.  31.  After  "valeant"  in  this  line,  a  comma,  and  not  a 
colon,  seems  more  reconcileable  to  the  meaning  of  the  passage. 


Sc.  II.         OR,  THE  PARASITE  REBUFEED.  215 

he  conferred,  upon  me.  For,  by  my  troth,  his  kindness  is 
pleasing  and  delightful  to  me  ;  and,  really,  this  choice  of  mine 
is  not  now  irksome  to  me,  nor  is  there  any  reason  why  I  should 
wish  to  abandon  this  match.  But,  in  fine,  'tis  placed  in  our 
father's  power1 ;  that  must  be  done  by  us  which  our  rela- 
tives enjoin. 

Pam.  I  know  it,  and  in  thinking  of  it  I  am  overwhelmed  with 
grief;  for  already  has  he  almost  disclosed  his  sentiments. 

Phil.  Let  us  consider,  then,  what  is  necessary  for  us 
to  do. 

Scene  II. 

Enter  Antipho  from  his  house,  speaking  at  the  door  to  his 
Servants. 

Ant.  The  man  in  condition  of  a  servant  who  always  waits 
to  be  told  his  duty,  and  doesn't  remember  to  do  it  of  his 
own  accord,  that  servant,  I  say,  is  not  of  a  deserving  character. 
You  remember  well  on  each  returning  Calends  to  ask  for 
your  allotment  of  provisions2  ;  why,  then,  do  you  less  remem- 
ber to  do  what  is  necessary  to  do  about  the  house  ?  Now, 
therefore,  if,  when  I  return,  the  furniture  shall  not  be  set  for 
me,  each  piece  in  its  proper  place,  I'll  be  putting  you  in  mind 
with  a  bull's  hide  remembrancer3.  Not  human  beings  seem 
to  be  living  with  me,  but  pigs.  Take  care,  if  you  please,  that 
my  house  is  clean,  when  I  return  home.  I  shall  soon  be  back 
home ;  I'm  going  to  her  house,  to  see  my  eldest  daughter. 
If  any  one  should  enquire  for  me,  call  me  thence,  some  of 
you ;  or 1  shall  be  here  soon  myself. 

Phil,  (aside) .  What  are  we  to  do,  sister,  if  our  father  shall 
resolve  against  us  ? 

1  In  our  father's. power) — Ver.  53.  By  the  law  of  the  Twelve  Tables  at  Rome, 
females  were  never  "  sui  juris,"  but  under  a  perpetual  guardianship ;  and  even 
marriage  did  not  entirely  exempt  them  from  parental  authority,  unless  they  had 
been  emancipated  from  it  before.  Among  the  Greeks  also,  parents  exercised  grea* 
authority  in  disposing  of  their  daughters  in  marriage. 

2  Allotment  of  provisions) — Ver.  60.  The  Greeks,  it  must  be  borne  in  mind, 
had  no  Calends  (whence  the  proverb  "  ad  Graecas  Calendas,"  "  to-morrow  come 
never");  the  Poet  is  here  alluding  to  the  Roman  custom  of  distributing  to  the 
slaves  their  allowance  of  food  on  the  Calends,  or  first  day  of  every  month. 

3  Butts  hide  remembrancer) — Ver.  63.  "  Monumentis  bubulis."  Literally, 
"  with  memorials  of  oxen."  The  thongs  of  the  ■'<  scutica"  and  of  the  "  flagellum' 
were  generally  made  of  bull's  hide. 


£16  STICHUS;  Act  I 

Pa.m.  It  befits  us  to  submit  to  what  he  does  whose  power 
is  the  stronger.  By  entreating,  not  by  opposing,  I  think  we 
must  use  our  endeavours.  If  with  mildness  we  ask  for 
favour,  I  trust  to  obtain  it  of  him.  Oppose  him  we  cannot, 
without  disgrace  and  extreme  criminality  ;  I  will  neither  do 
that  myself,  nor  will  I  give  you  the  advice  to  do  it,  but  rather 
that  we  should  entreat  him.  I  know  our  family1;  he  will 
yield  to  entreaty. 

Ant.  {speaking  to  himself).  In  the  first  place,  in  what 
manner  I  should  make  a  beginning  with  them,  about  that  I 
am  in  doubt ;  whether  I  should  accost  them  in  language 
couched  in  ambiguous  terms,  after  this  fashion,  as  though  I 
had  never  pretended2  anything  at  all  against  them,  or  whether 
as  though  I  had  heard  that  they  were  deserving  of  some  cen- 
sure against  them  ;  whether  I  should  rather  try  them  gently 
or  with  threats.  I  know  that  there  will  be  opposition  ;  I  know 
my  daughters  right  well.  If  they  should  prefer  to  remain 
here  rather  than  to  marry  afresh,  why,  let  them  do  so.  What 
need  is  there  for  me,  the  term  of  my  life  run  out,  to  be  waging 
war  with  my  children,  when  I  think  that  they  don't  at  all  de- 
serve that  I  should  do  so  ?  By  no  means  ;  I'll  have  no  dis- 
turbances. But  I  think  that  this  is  the  best  thing  to  be 
done  by  me ;  I'll  do  thus ;  I'll  pretend  as  though  they  had 
themselves  been  guilty  of  some  fault ;  I'll  terribly  terrify 
their  minds  this  day  by  some  ambiguous  expressions ;  and 
then,  after  that,  as  I  shall  feel  disposed,  I'll  disclose  my- 
self. I  know  that  many  words  will  be  spoken ;  I'll  go  in. 
{Goes  to  the  door  of  Philumena's  house.)  But  the  door's 
open. 

Phil.  "Why,  surely  the  sound  of  my  father's  voice  reached 
my  ears. 

Pam.  1'  troth,  'tis  he  ;  let's  hasten  to  meet  him  with  a 
kiss.     {They  both  run  to  kiss  him.) 

Phil.  My  father,  my  respects.  Ant.  And  to  you  the  same. 
Away  this  instant,  and  be  off  from  me.     {Removes  her.) 

Phil.  One  kiss.     Ant.  I've  had  enough  of  your  kissing. 

Phil.  Prithee,  father,  why  so  ? 

1  7"  Jcnow  our  family) — Ver.  74.  "  Nostros."  Literally,  "  ours,"  meaning  "  oui 
people,"  "  our  family." 

2  As  though  I liad  never  pretended) — Ver.  77.  Despite  the  ingenuity  of  Fitschel, 
this  line  seems  to  be  in  a  corrupt  state. 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  PAEASITE  REBUFFED.  217 

Ant.  Because,  as  it  is,  the  seasoning  of  your  affection  has 
reached  my  soul1. 

Pam.  Sit  down  here,  father.  {Points  to  a  chair.)  Ant.  I'll 
not  sit  there  ;  do  you  sit  down  ;  I'll  sit  on  the  bench2.  (Sits 
on  a  bench.) 

Pam.  Wait  till  I  fetch  a  cushion. 

Ant.  Tou  take  kind  care  of  me ;  I'm  nicely  seated  now 
as  I  am3. 

Pam.  Do  let  me,  father.  (  Goes  into  the  house.)  Ant.  "What 
need  is  there  ? 

Pam.  There  is  need.  (Coming  out,  and  bringing  a  cushion.) 

Ant.  I'll  submit  to  you.  (Arranging  the  cushion.)  Yes, 
this  does  very  well. 

Pam.  Why,  daughters  can  never  take  too  much  care  of 
their  parent.  Whom  is  it  proper  that  we  should  esteem  more 
dear  than  yourself  ?  And  then,  in  the  next  place,  father,  our 
husbands,  for  whom  you  have  chosen  that  we  should  be  the 
mothers  of  families. 

Ant.  Tou  do  as  it  is  proper  for  good  wives  to  do,  in  esteem- 
ing your  husbands,  though  absent,  j  ast  as  though  they  were 
present. 

Pam.  'Tis  propriety,  father,  for  us  to  highly  honor  those 
who  have  chosen  us  as  companions  for  themselves. 

Ant.  Is  there  any  other  person  here  to  listen  with  his 
ears4  to  our  conversation? 

1  Has  reached  my  soul) — Ver.  92.  "  Mese  animae  salsura  evenit."  Literally, 
'  the  salting  has  come  forth  to  my  soul."     This  phrase  is  rendered  in  Leverett's 

Lexicon,  "  I  am  dejected"  or  "  I  am  in  an  ill  humour."  That,  however,  does 
not  appear  to  be  the  meaning.  The  father  has  had  kissing  enough  from  his 
daughters,  but  he  intends,  as  it  would  seem,  to  compliment  them  by  comparing 
their  kisses  to  salt,  with  its  refreshing  and  vivifying  powers ;  and  when  Philumena 
asks  for  one  kiss  more,  he  says,  "  No,  as  it  is  (ita)  their  refreshing  power  has 
reached  my  soul."  Kost  seems  to  be  of  this  opinion,  but  he  suggests  that  "  animae 
mese"  are  vocatives  plural ;  in  that  case  the  passage  would  mean,  "  as  it  is,  my 
loves,"  or  "  my  delights,  the  refreshing  salt  of  your  affection  has  reached  me." 

2  On  the  bench) — Ver.  93.  "  Subsellium"  generally  means  "  a  footstool,"  used 
by  persons  when  sitting  on  a  high  seat.  Here,  however,  it  probably  signifies  "  a 
bench,"  perhaps  placed  against  the  wall  in  the  front  of  Philumena's  house,  where 
he  was  about  to  make  a  call. 

3  Nicely  seated  now  as  I  am) — Ver.  94.  "  Sat  sic  fultum  est."  Literally, 
"enough  is  it  thus  supported."  She  has  brought  out  the  cushion,  and  has 
placed  it  upon  or  at  the  back  of  the  hard  bench,  which  was  pei-haps  something 
like  our  garden  chair. 

*  To  listen  with  his  ears) — Ver.  102.  "  Nostris  dictis  auceps  auribus  "   LiteraJy 


213  stichus';  Act  I 

Phil.  There's  no  one  except  us  and  yourself. 

Ant.  I  wish  your  attention  to  be  given ;  for,  unacquainted 
with  female  matters  and  ways,  I  come  now  as  a  pupil  to 
you,  my  instructresses ;  in  order  that  each  of  you  may  tell 
me  what  endowments  matrons  ought  to  have,  who  are  the  best 
esteemed. 

Pam.  What's  the  reason  that  you  come  hither  to  enquire 
about  the  ways  of  females  ? 

Ant.  Troth,  I'm  looking  for  a  wife,  as  your  mother's 
dead  and  gone. 

Pam.  You'll  easily  find,  father,  one  both  worse  and  of 
worse  morals  than  she  was ;  one  better  you'll  neither  find 
nor  does  the  sun  behold. 

Ant.  But  I'm  making  the  enquiry  of  you,  and  of  this 
sister  of  yours. 

Pam.  I'  faith,  father,  I  know  how  they  should  be,  if  they 
are  to  be  such  as  I  think  right. 

Ant.  I  wish,  then,  to  know  what  you  do  think  right. 

Pam.  That  when  they  walk  through  the  city,  they  should 
shut  the  mouths  of  all,  so  that  none  can  speak  ill  of  them 
with  good  reason. 

Ant.  (to  Philumena).  And  now  speak  you  in  your 
turn. 

Phil.  What  do  you  wish  that  I  should  speak  to  you 
about,  father? 

Ant.  How  is  the  woman  most  easily  distinguished,  who  is 
of  a  good  disposition  ? 

Phil.  When  she,  who  has  the  power  of  doing  ill,  refrains 
from  doing  so. 

Ant.  Not  bad  that.  (To  Pamphila.)  Come,  say  you, 
which  choice  is  the  preferable,  to  marry  a  maiden  or  a 
widow  ? 

Pam.  So  far  as  my  skill  extends,  of  many  evils1,  that  which 
is  the  least  evil,  the  same  is  the  least  an  evil.  He  that  can 
avoid  the  women,  let  him  avoid  them,  so  that  each  day  he 

"  a  fowler  for  our  words ;"  in  allusion  to  the  stealthy  manner  in  which  the  fowler 
lies  in  wait  for  his  prey. 

1  Of  many  evils') — Ver.  120.  Pamphila  is  embarrassed  here ;  and  as  she  probably 
does  not  wish  her  father  to  marry  either  widow  or  maiden,  but  still  does  not  like  tc 
tell  him  so,  she  takes  refuge  in  a  truism,  rather  than  give  a  direct  answer  to  his 
question.  Aristotle  tells  us  that  Epicharmus  was  much  in  the  habit  of  gu  ing  ut- 
terance to  remarks  of  this  nature. 


Sc.  II.  OE,  THE  PARASITE  REBUFFED.  219 

takes  care,  the  day  before,  not  to  do  that  which,  the  day  after, 
he  may  regret. 

Ant.  What  sort  of  woman,  pray,  seems  to  you  by  far  the 
wisest  ? 

Phil.  She  who,  when  affairs  are  prosperous,  shall  still  be 
able  to  know  herself,  and  who  with  equanimity  can  en- 
dure it  to  be  worse  with  her  than  it  has  been. 

Ant.  By  my  troth,  in  merry  mood  have  I  been  trying  the 
bent  of  your  dispositions.  But  'tis  this  for  which  I  am  come 
to  you,  and  for  which  I  wished  to  meet  you  both.  My 
friends  are  advising  me  to  the  effect  that  I  should  remove  you 
hence  to  my  own  house. 

Pam.  But  still,  we,  whose  interests  are  concerned,  are  ad- 
vising you  quite  otherwise.  For  either,  father,  we  ought  not 
formerly  to  have  been  bestowed  in  marriage,  unless  our  hus- 
bands pleased  you,  or,  it  is  not  right  for  us  now  to  be  taken 
away  when  they  are  absent. 

Ant.  And  shall  I  suffer  you  while  I  am  alive  to  remain 
married  to  men  who  are  beggars  ? 

Pam.  This  beggar  of  mine  is  agreable  to  me;  her  own 
king  is  agreable1  to  the  queen.  In  poverty  have  I  the  same 
feelings  that  once  I  had  in  riches. 

Ant.  And  do  you  set  such  high  value  on  thieves  and 
beggars  ? 

Phil.  You  did  not,  as  I  think,  give  me  in  marriage  to  the 
money,  but  to  the  man. 

Ant.  Why  are  you  still  in  expectation  of  those  who  have 
been  absent  for  now  three  years  ?  Why  don't  you  accept  an 
eligible  match3  in  place  of  a  very  bad  one  ? 

Pam.  Tis  folly,  father,  to  lead  unwilling  dogs  to  hunt. 
That  wife  is  an  enemy,  who  is  given  to  a  man  in  marriage 
against  her  will. 

Ant.  Are  you  then  determined  that  neither  of  you  will 
obey  the  command  of  your  father  ? 

Phil.  We  do  obey ;  for  where  you  gave  us  in  marriage, 
thence  are  we  unwilling  to  depart. 

1  Her  own  king  is  agreable) — Ver.  133.  She  speaks  here  of  the  husband  in  the 
character  of  the  "  rex,"  or  "  king,"  in  his  own  establishment,  which  to  him  is  his 
kingdom.    Of  course,  then,  the  wife  would  be  the  "  regina,"  or  "  queen." 

2  Eligible  match) — Ver.  138.  "Conditio,"  in  the  sense  of  "offer"  or  "pro- 
posal," especially  applies  to  one  of  marriage.  As  their  husbands  had  spent  almost 
all  their  substance,  the  ladies  are  probably  living  on  the  fortune  which  he  has 
given  them,  and  he  anticipates  that  it  may  be  soon  exhausted. 


220  STioHUS ;  Act  II. 

Ant.  Kindly  good  b'ye ;  I'll  go  and  tell  my  friends  youi 
resolutions. 

Pam.  They  will,  I  doubt  not,  think  us  the  more  honor- 
able, if  you  tell  them  to  honorable  men. 

Ant.  Take  you  care,  then,  of  their  domestic  concerns,  the 
best  way  that  you  can.  (Exit. 

Phil.  Now  you  gratify  us,  when  you  direct  us  aright: 
now  we  will  hearken  to  you.  Now,  sister,  let's  go  in- 
doors. 

Pam.  "Well,  first  I'll  take  a  look  at  home.  If,  perchance, 
any  news  should  come  to  you  from  your  husband,  take  you 
care  that  I  know  it. 

Phil.  Neither  will  I  conceal  it  from  you,  nor  do  you  con- 
ceal from  me  what  you  may  know.  (Calls  at  the  door  of  her 
house.)  Ho  there,  Crocotium1,  go,  fetch  hither  Grelasimus, 
the  Parasite  ;  bring  him  here  with  you.  For,  i'  faith,  I  wish 
to  send  him  to  the  harbour,  to  see  if,  perchance,  any  ship  from 
Asia2  has  arrived  there  yesterday  or  to-day.  But,  one  servant 
has  been  sitting  at  the  harbour  whole  days  in  waiting ;  still, 
however,  I  wish  it  to  be  visited  every  now  and  then.  Make 
haste,  and  return  immediately.  (Each  goes  into  her  own 
house.) 


ACT    THE    SECOND. 

Scene  I. 

Enter  Gelasimtjs. 

Gel.  I  do  suspect  that  Famine  was  my  mother ;  for  since 
I  was  born  I  have  never  been  filled  with  victuals.  And  no 
man  could  better  return  the  favour  to  his  mother,  than  do 
I  right  unwillingly  return  it  to  my  mother,  Famine.  For 
in  her  womb,  for  ten  months  she  bore  me,  whereas  I  have 
been  carrying  her  for  more  than  ten  years  in  my  stomach. 
She,  too,  carried  me  but  a  little  child,  wherefore  I  judge  that 
she  endured  the  less  labour ;  in  my  stomach  no  little  Famine 

1  Crocotium) — Ver.  150.  This  name  is  derived  from  "  Crocus,"  which  means 
the  plant  of  that  name,  or  saffron. 

2  Ship  from  Asia) — Ver.  152.  Asia  Minor  was  the  place  of  resort,  in  those  daya 
for  persons  who  wish  to  make  money  sceediLy. 


8c.  T.  OR,  THE  PAEASITE  REBUFFED.  221 

do  I  bear,  but  of  full  growth,  i'  faith,  and  extremely  heavy. 
The  labour-pains  arise  with  me  each  day,  but  I'm  unable  to 
bring  forth  my  mother,  nor  know  I  what  to  do.  I've 
often  heard  it  so  said  that  the  elephant  is  wont1  to  be 
pregnant  ten  whole  years ;  for  sure  this  hunger  of  mine  is  ol 
its  breed.  Tor  now  for  many  a  year  has  it  been  clinging  to 
my  inside.  Now,  if  any  person  wants  a  droll  fellow,  I  am  on 
sale,  with  all  my  equipage :  of  a  filling-up  for  these  chasms 
am  I  in  search.  When  little,  my  father  gave  me  the  name  ot 
G-elasimus2,  because,  even  from  a  tiny  child,  I  was  a  droll  chap. 
By  reason  of  poverty,  in  fact,  did  I  acquire  this  name,  because 
it  was  poverty  that  made  me  to  be  a  droll ;  for  whenever  she 
reaches  a  person,  she  instructs  him  thoroughly  in  every  art. 
My  father  used  to  say  that  I  was  born  when  provisions  were 
dear ;  for  that  reason,  I  do  believe,  I  am  now  the  more  sharply 
set.  But  on  our  family  such  complacence  has  been  bestowed 
— I  am  in  the  habit  of  refusing  no  person,  if  any  one  asks  me 
out  to  eat.  One  form  of  expression  has  most  unfortunately 
died  away  with  people,  and  one,  i'  faith,  most  beseeming  and 
most  elegant  to  my  thinking,  which  formerly  they  employed : 
"Come  here  to  dinner — do  so — really, do  promise — don't  make 
any  difficulties — is  it  convenient  ? — I  wish  it  to  be  so,  I  say ; 
I'll  not  part  with  you  unless  you  come."  But  now,  in  the 
present  day,  they  have  found  a  substitute  for  these  expres- 
sions— a  saying,  by  my  faith,  truly  right  worthless  and 
most  vile :  "  I'd  invite  you  to  dinner,  were  I  not  dining 
out  myself."  I'  faith,  I  wish  the  very  loins  of  that 
phrase  broken,  that  it  mayn't  repeat  its  perjury  if  he 
does  dine  at  his  own  house.  These  phrases  reduce  me 
to  learn  foreign  habits3,  and  to  spare  the  necessity  for  an 
auctioneer,  and  so  proclaim  the  auction,  and  put  myself  up 
for  sale. 

1  The  elephant  is  wont) — Ver.  168.  Pliny  the  Elder  informs  us  that  this  was 
the  vulgar  notion  with  regard  to  the  elephant.  He  also  says  that  Aristotle  tells 
us  that  two  years  is  the  duration  of  its  pregnancy. 

2  Name  of  Gelasimus) — Ver.  174.  "  Gelasimus"  signifies  "comical,"  "laugh- 
able," "  funny,"  from  the  Greek  verb  ye\da>,  "  to  laugh." 

3  Foreign  habits) — Ver.  193.  By  "  barbaros  mores,"  he  probably  alludes  to 
the  Eoman  custom  of  selling  by  auction,  which  was  one  of  the  duties  of  the 
I  prasco,"  or  "  herald,"  here  rendered  "  auctioneer."  Plautus  frequently-  speaks 
at  one  moment  as  though  addressing  a  Greek,  and  at  the  next,  a  Roman,  au. 
dience. 


222  stichus  ;  Act  II, 

Untet  Ceocotium  from  the  house  of  Philumena,  unseen  by 

GrELASIMUS. 

Ceoc.  {aside).  This  is  the  Parasite,  whom  I've  been  sent 
to  fetch.  I'll  listen  to  what  he's  saying,  before  I  accost 
him. 

Gtel.  Now  there  are  a  good  many  curious  mischief-makers 
here,  who, with  extreme  zeal,  busythemselveswith  the  affairs  of 
other  people,  and  who  have  themselves  no  affairs  of  their  own  to 
busy  themselves  with.  They,  when  they  know  that  any  one  is 
about  to  have  an  auction,  go  forthwith  and  sift  out  what's 
the  reason;  whether  a  debt  compels  it,  or  whether  he  has 
purchased  a  farm ;  or  whether,  on  a  divorce,  her  marriage- 
portion  is  to  be  repaid  to  his  wife1.  All  these,  although, 
i'  faith,  I  don't  judge  them  undeserving,  in  their  most 
wretched  state,  to  go  toiling  on,  I  don't  care  about.  I'll 
proclaim  the  reason  of  my  auction,  that  they  may  rejoice  in 
my  mishaps,  for  there's  no  person  a  busybody  but  what 
he's  ill-natured  too.  Very  great  mishaps,  alas  !  have  befallen 
wretched  me.  So  dreadfully  afflicted  has  my  property2  ren- 
dered me:  my  many  drinking-bouts  are  dead  and  gone; 
how  many  dinners,  too,  that  I've  bewailed,  are  dead!  how 
many  a  draught  of  honeyed  wine  ;  how  many  breakfasts,  too, 
that  I  have  lost  within  these  last  three  years  !  In  my 
wretchedness,  for  very  grief  and  vexation  have  I  quite  grown 
old.     I'm  almost  dead  with  hunger. 

Ceoc.  {aside).  There's  no  one  such  a  droll,  as  he  is  when 
he  is  hungry. 

GrEL.  Now  am  I  resolved  that  I'll  make  a  sale :  out  of 
doors8  am  I  obliged  to  sell  whatever  I  possess.  Attend,  if 
you  please ;  the  bargains  will  be  for  those  who  are  present. 

1  To  be  repaid  to  his  ioife)—Ver.  204.  If  the  divorce  took  place  by  mutual 
consent,  then  the  "  dos,"  or  "  marriage-portion,"  of  the  wife  was  returned.     Such 
a  circumstance  occurring  on  a  sudden,  might  very  easily  cause  a  necessity  for « 
recourse  to  the  services  of  the  auctioneer. 

2  Has  my  property) — Ver.  210.  "Mancupium,"  or  "  mancipium,"  was  any 
species  of  property  possessed  by  right  of  purchase.  He  here  considers  the  din- 
ners and  the  drinking-bouts,  which  he  so  misses,  in  the  light  of  property  to  him- 
self; the  more  especially  as  they  had  been  purchased  at  the  price  of  his  "  logi," 
his  '  puns,"  or  "  bon  mots." 

3  Out  of  doors)— Ver.  219.  "  Foras :"  "  abroad,"  "  out  of  doors."  The  sales  by 
lection  took  place  in  the  open  street. 


Sc.  I.  OR,  THE  PARASITE  REBTJEEED.  223 

I've  funny  bon  mots1  to  sell.  Come,  bid  your  price.  "Who 
bids  a  dinner  ?  Does  any  one  bid  a  breakfast  ?  They'll  cost 
vou  an  Herculean  breakfast2  or  dinner.  Ho,  there !  (to  one 
of  the  Spectators)  did  you  nod  to  me  ?  No  one  will  offer 
you  better — I  won't  allow  that  any  Parasite  has  better 
quibbles,  cajoleries,  and  parasitical  white  lies3.  I'm  selling  a 
rusty  flesh-scraper4,  too  ;  a  rusty-coloured  brown  bottle5  for  the 

1  Funny  bon  mots) — Ver.  221.  "  Logos."  This  word  is  the  Greek  \oyos} 
signifying  "  a  word,"  or  "  a  witty  saying,"  in  a  Latin  clothing.  It  exactly  cor- 
responds with  the  expression  "  bon  mots,"  which  we  have  similarly  borrowed  from 
the  French. 

8  An  Herculean  breakfast) — Ver.  223.  It  is  hard  to  say  what  he  means  by 
f  Herculeum  prandium :"  but,  as  Hercules  was  supposed  to  send  good  luck  to  thosn 
who  gave  him  the  tenths  of  their  property,  whether  that  property  consisted  of  a 
house  or  a  meal,  his  meaning  probably  is,  "  Whoever  invites  me  to  a  meal,  that 
meal  shall  be  as  lucky  to  him  as  though  he  had  sent  the  tenth  part  of  it  as  an 
offering  to  Hercules." 

3  Parasitical  white  lies) — Ver.  227.  "  Perjeratiunculas  parasiticas."  Literally, 
"  parasitical  little  perjuries."  This  is  probably  meant  in  reference  to  the  adjura- 
tions so  common  among  the  ancients  on  the  most  trivial  occasions,  and  of  which 
the  Parasite  promises  to  be  lavish  in  speaking  in  praise  of  his  entertainer.  The 
diminutive  "  uncula"  suits  the  measure,  and  also  shows  the  air  of  self-satisfaction 
with  which  he  mentions  that  which  he  takes  to  be  of  the  same  harmless  nature 
which  some  easy  casuists  among  ourselves  attribute  to  what  they  choose  to  call  white 
lies.  Indeed,  the  ancients  esteemed  perjury  very  much  according  to  the  subject  on 
which  it  was  employed.  Ovid  mentions  Mercury  as  laughing  at  the  perjuries  of 
cheating  tradesmen,  and  Jupiter  as  smiling  at  those  of  lovers ;  surely,  then,  "  a  little 
bit  of  a  perjury"  (the  true  meaning  of  "  perjeratiuncula")  could  not  be  amiss  on 
an  occasion  so  trivial,  and  yet,  to  the  Parasite,  so  all-important,  as  the  acquisition 
of  a  good  dinner. 

4  A  rusty  Jlesh-scraper) — Ver.  228.  The  "strigil"  was  an  instrument  used  by 
the  Greeks  and  Romans  in  the  place  of  the  flesh-brush  of  modern  times.  It  was 
made  of  borie,  iron,  copper,  and  sometimes  of  silver.  It  was  used  after  taking 
the  "  sudatorium,"  or  sweating-bath,  for  the  purpose  of  scraping  the  perspiration 
from  the  body.  These'instruments  were  of  curved  form,  and  in  shape  somewhat  re- 
sembled our  tongue-scrapers  on  a  large  scale.  Rich  persons  took  slaves  with  them 
to  the  baths  for  the  purpose  of  scraping  them.  From  Hesychius,  Athenasus,  and 
Theophrastus,  we  learn  that  Parasites  were  much  in  the  habit  of  spunging  for 
entertainers  at  the  public  baths ;  and,  no  doubt,  they  generally  had  ready,  for  an 
emergency,  both  a  "  strigil"  and  a  bottle  of  perfumed  ointment,  as  a  handy 
medium  of  introduction  to  strangers. 

5  A  rusty -coloured  brown  bottle)— Ver.  228.  The  "  ampulla,"  or  "  bottle, '  was 
probably  a  "  lorea,"  or  leather  one,  and  had  turned  of  a  rusty-brown  colour  trca 
La. 


22-t  stichus  ;  Act  II. 

Greek  unguents1  at  the  sweating-baths2 ;  delicate  after-dinner 
powders3;  an  empty  Parasite  as  well  {pointing  to  himself), 
in  whom  to  lay  by  your  scraps.  'Tis  needful  that  these 
should  be  sold  at  once  for  as  much  as  they  can ;  that,  if  I  oft'ei 
the  tenth  part  to  Hercules4,  on  that  account  it  may  he  greater 

Ceoc.  (aside).  An  auction  of  no  great  value,  by  my  troth. 
Hunger  has  taken  hold  of  the  very  deepest  recess  of  the  fel- 
low's stomach.     I'll  accost  the  man.     (Moves  towards  him.) 

Gel.  Who's  this  that's  coming  towards  me  ?  Why,  surely 
this  is  Crocotium,  the  maid-servant  of  Epignomus. 

Ceoc.  My  respects,  Gelasimus.  Gel.  That's  not  my  name. 

Ceoc.  I'  faith,  for  sure  that  used  to  be  your  name. 

Gel.  Distinctly  it  was  so,  but  I've  lost  it  by  use.  Now 
I'm  called  Miccotrogus5  from  what  is  fact. 

1  Greek  unguents) — Ver.  229.  By  mentioning  "Greek  unguents,"  Plautus 
here  recollects  that  he  is  addressing  a  Latin  audience.  The  Greek  cosmetics  and 
perfumes  were  much  esteemed  at  Rome.  Ovid,  in  the  Art  of  Love,  mentions  the 
Athenian  "oesypum,"  which  was  much  used  by  the  Roman  ladies  for  making  the 
complexion  clear.  It  was  made  from  the  sweat  and  grease  of  the  fleeces  of  the 
sheep  of  Attica. 

2  The  sweating-baths) — Ver. 229.  The  "sudatorium,"  or  "vapour"  or  "sweating 
bath,"  was  also  called  by  the  Romans  "  Laconicum ;"  because  it  was  the  habit  of  the 
Lacedaemonians  to  strip  and  anoint  themselves,  without  using  warm  water,  after 
the  perspiration  caused  by  athletic  exercises.  Cicero  styles  it  "  assa,"  because 
it  produced  perspiration  by  means  of  a  dry  hot  atmosphere.  After  it  had  been 
used,  and  the  ".  strigil"  applied  to  the  skin,  the  bather  was  dried  with  towels,  and 
then  anointed,  when  the  "  unctiones  Grsecae"  of  the  Parasite  would  be  in  demand. 
These  were  used  either  to  close  the  pores  of  the  skin  and  to  prevent  the  person 
lrom  catching  cold,  or  to  keep  the  skin  from  being  rough  when  dried  with  'the 
towel.  Probably  the  Parasites  were  ready  to  give  a  hand  on  an  emergency  in 
assisting  to  rub  down  and  anoint  the  bather,  especially  if  he  was  known  to  keep 
a  good  "  cuisine." 

3  After-dinner  powders) — Ver.  230.  "  Crapularios."  These  were  probably  soft 
and  tasteless  (malacos)  powders,  used,  like  our  dinner-pills,  in  order  to  prevent  the 
bad  effects  of  heating  the  stomach  with  rich  food  and  excess  of  wine.  A  clever 
Parasite  would,  of  course,  always  have  these  in  readiness  on  an  emergency. 

4  Tenth  part  to  Hercules) — Ver.  233.  He  seems  to  be  about  to  give  a  fic- 
titious reason  for  his  anxiety  to  get  a  dinner — that,  forsooth,  like  a  pious  man,  he 
mav  have  the  greater  amount  of  tithes  to  present  to  Hercules.  The  hiatus  precludes 
ns  from  forming  any  very  determinate  opinion  on  the  meaning  of  the  passage. 

3  Miccotrogus) — Ver.  242.  This  is  a  Greek  compound  word,  which  signifies 
"  rromb-eater,-"  in  it  he  alludes  to  his  short  commons. 


Sc.  I.  OB,  THE  PARASITE  REBUFFED.  225 

Croc.  O  dear !  I've  laughed  a  good  deal  at  you  to-day. 

Gel.  "When  ?  or  in  what  place  ?  Cboc.  Here,  when  you 
were  carrying  on  a  most  worthless  auction. 

Gel.  How  now ;  did  you  really  hear  it  ? 

Cboc.  Aye,  and  one  really  right  worthy  of  yourself. 

Gel.  Where  are  you  bound  for  now  ?    Cboc.  For  yourself. 

Gel.  Why  have  you  come  ?  Croc.  Philumena  bade  me 
ask  you  by  all  means  to  come  to  visit  her  at  her  house  this 
instant,  together  with  me. 

Gel.  I'  faith,  but  I'll  surely  come  there  as  fast  as  I  can. 
Are  the  entrails  cooked1  by  this  ?  With  how  many  lambs  has 
she  been  sacrificing  ? 

Croc.  Indeed,  she  hasn't  been  sacrificing  at  all. 

Gel.  How  ?     What  does  she  want  with  me,  then  ? 

Croc.  I  think  that  she's  going  to  ask  you  for  ten  mea- 
sures of  wheat. 

Gel.  Or  me  rather  ask  it  of  her  ? 

Croc.  No  ;  that  yen  yourself  should  lend  them  to  us. 

Gel.  Tell  her  that  I've  nothing  to  give  myself,  or  that  she 
could  wish  to  borrow,  nor  anything  whatever,  except  this 
cloak  that  I  have  on.  Even  my  very  tongue  that  so  freely 
used  to  offer  itself2  I've  sold  as  well. 

Croc.  How  ?     Have  you  got  no  tongue  ? 

Gel.  Why,  the  former  one,  that  used  to  say  "  here,  take 
me3,"  I've  lost :  see,  here's  one  now  that  says  "  give  me." 
(Puts  out  Ms  tongue.) 

Croc.  A  curse  may  the  Gods  give  *you       *       *       *       * 

1  Are  the  entrails  cooked) — Ver.  851.  It  has  been  already  remarked,  that  after 
the  sacrifice,  the  Gods  having  received  their  portion,  the  devotee  took  home  the 
remainder,  and  invited  his  friends  to  come  to  his  house  and  partake  of  it.  The 
Parasite  was  not,  perhaps,  much  in  the  wrong  when  he  deemed  a  lamb's  fry  no 
bad  dish.  St.  Paul  alludes  to  this  custom  when  he  tells  the  converts  to  keep 
themselves  from  "things  offered  to  idols." — Acts,  ch.  xv.,  v.  20;  and  ch.  xsi. 
v.  25. 

2  That  so  freely  used  to  offer  itself) — Ver.  258.  It  is  very  difficult  to  say 
exactly  what  the  Parasite  means  by  "  lingua  dataria."  Perhaps  he  means  to 
tell  the  girl  that  he  is  in  a  bad  humour — that  he  now  "  gives"  nothing  at  all,  not 
even  his  tongue,  which  has  been  hitherto  "  dataria,"  or  "  at  the  service"  of  every- 
body. Now,  however,  he  will  put  it  up  to  sale  by  auction,  and  in  future,  before 
he  says  "  dabo,"  "  I'll  give  you  my  tongue"  or,  in  other  words,  "  my  company," 
he  will  say,  "  cedo,*'  "  give  me,"  or  "  tell  me  what  is  your  offer"  or  "  bidding. 

3  Here  take  me) — Ver.  260.  "  Dabo."     Literally,  "  I  will  give." 

Q 


226  d-iTCHUS ;  Act  II. 

Gel.  Aye,  if  a  curse  you  want,  this  same  tongue  will 
give  you  that. 

Ceoc.  Well  now,  are  you  coming  or  not  ? 

GrEL.  Well,  be  off  home ;  tell  her  I'll  be  there  this  mo- 
ment ;  make  haste  and  be  off.  (Crocotium  goes  into  the 
house.)  I  wonder  why  she  has  requested  me  to  be  fetched  to 
her,  who  has  never,  before  this  day,  requested  that  I  should 
be  fetched  to  her,  ever  since  her  husband  left.  I  wonder  what 
it  can  be  ;  except  it  is  for  some  experiment  to  be  made  upon 
me;  I'll  go  see  what  she  wants.  But  see,  here's  her  boy,  Pina- 
cium.  Look  at  that  now;  how  very  facetiously  and  just  like 
a  picture1  does  he  stand  ?  Full  many  a  time,  for  sure,  in  good 
troth,  has  he  poured  out  for  me  the  wine,  almost  unmixed, 
right  cleverly  into  a  very  tiny  cup2  indeed.     (Stands  aside.) 

Scene  II. 

Enter  Pinacium  at  a  distance,  with  a  fishing-rod,  hooks,  and 
a  basket  in  his  hand. 
Pin.  (to  himself) .  Mercury,  who  is  said  to  be  the  messenger 
of  Jove,  never  bore  such  pleasing  tidings  to  his  father,  as  I  shall 
e'en  now  be  telling  to  my  mistress.  So  loaded  do  I  bear  my 
breast  with  joy  and  with  delight ;  and  really  I  don't  care  to 
speak  a  syllable  but  in  a  highflown  style.  The  charms  of  all 
the  loves  and  graces  do  I  bring ;  my  heart,  too,  is  overleaping 
its  banks,  and  overflowing  with  joyousness.  Now  have  you  the 
means  of  acquiring  glor^,  fame,  and  honor ;  make  haste,  Pina- 
cium,  exhort  your  feet  to  swiftness,  grace  your  message  by 
your  deeds,  and  come  to  the  rescue  of  your  mistress  in  her  need 
######  wh0  js  s0  Wretched  in  awaiting  the  ar- 
rival of  her  husband,  Epignomus  ;  just  as  becomes  her  does 
she  dote  upon  her  husband,  and  anxiously  long  for  him.  Now, 
Pinacium,  do  as  pleases  you,  run  on,  just  as  you  like ;  take 
care  and  regard  no  person  at  the  value  of  a  straw;  thrust 

1  Just  Wee  a  picture) — Ver.  271.  "  Ex  pictura."  Literally,  "out  of  a  picture." 
He  means,  that  he  has  assumed  some  attitude  at  that  moment  like  that  of  a 
person  in  a  picture  or  like  a  model  in  statuary,  to  which  the  word  "  pictura"  also 
applies. 

■  In  a  very  tiny  cup) — Ver.  272.  "  Pauxillulo."  Most  probably  this  is  said  in 
an  ironical  way.  He  perhaps  refers  to  some  injunction  which,  in  his  former  and 
more  palmy  days,  be  had  given  to  the  boy  when  waiting  at  table,  to  be  sure  and 
provide  him  with  a  large  cup,  and  not  to  mix  too  much  water  with  the  wine 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  PARASITE  REBUFFED.  227 

them  from  the  path  with  your  elbows  ;  make  right  smooth 
your  way.  If  a  king  shall  come  in  your  way,  upset  the  king 
himself  forthwith. 

G-el.  (apart).  Why,  I  wonder1,  is  Pinacium  running  so 
overladen  with  baggage2  ?  He's  carrying  a  rod,  and  a  basket, 
and  a  fish-hook. 

Pin.  (to,  himself).  But  yet,  I  think  'tis  proper  that  my 
mistress  should  come  with  entreaty  to  me,  and  that  she  should 
send  envoys  to  me,  and  gifts  of  gold,  and  chariots  in  which  for 
me  to  be  borne,  for  I  can't  go  on  foot.  Therefore  I  shall  now 
go  back.  (Turns  back.)  I  think  it  is  only  proper  that  I  should 
be  approached  and  addressed  with  entreaties.  And  do  you 
really  think  that  it's  mere  nonsense  or  nothing  at  all  that  I 
am  now  acquainted  with  ?  Blessings  so  great  am  I  carrying 
from  the  harbour,  joys  so  extensive  am  I  bringing,  that  hardly 
could  my  mistress  herself  presume  to  wish  this  of  the  Gods, 
if  she  were  to  know  it.  And  am  I  to  carry  it,  then,  of  my  own 
accord  ?  It  pleases  me  not,  nor  do  I  think  that  the  duty  of 
a  man.  This  way  does  it  seem  to  be  better  suited  to  this 
news  of  mine ;  let  her  come  to  meet  me,  let  her  entreat  me 
to  communicate  to  her  this  news.  Haughtiness  and  pride 
befit  prosperous  fortunes.  But,  at  last,  when  I  reconsider  it. 
how  could  she  know  that  I  know  this  ?  (Turning  round.) 
Well,  I  can't  do  otherwise  than  return,  than  speak,  than 
relate  it  at  length,  and  relieve  my  mistress  of  her  grief, 
and  both  mightily  increase  the  good  deeds  of  my  ancestors, 
and  present  her  with  a  comfort  unhoped  for  and  oppor- 
tune.  I'll  outdo  the  deeds  of  Talthybius5,  and  I'll  set 
all  messengers  at  nought,  and  at  the  same  time  I'll  think 
about  the  running  at  the  Olympic  games.    But  this  distance4 

1  Why  I  wonder) — Ver.  288.  "  Quidnam  dicam."  Literally,  "  what  shall  1*' 
or  "  must  I  say ;"  exactly  corresponding  to  our  phrase  "  I  wonder  why." 

2  Overladen  loith  baggage) — Ver.  288.  "  Lixabundum."  The  "  lixae"  were 
the  free  suttlers  or  dealers,  who  followed  the  Roman  armies.  Their  name  is  saul 
to  have  been  derived  from  the  old  Latin  word  "  lixa,"  "  water,"  probably  because 
they  originally  supplied  the  army  with  water.  "  Lixabundus"  here  means 
"  laden  with  baggage,"  in  allusion  to  the  fishing-tackle  which  the  lad  is  carrying. 

3  Talthybius) — Ver.  305.  Talthybius  was  the  Grecian  herald,  who,  with  Eury- 
bates,  was  sent  by  Agamemnon  to  Achilles,  to  fetch  away  Hippodamia  or 
Briseis. 

*  But  this  distance) — Ver.  307.  He  here  alludes  to  the  comparative  narrowness 
of  the  stage,  which  would  not  allow  him  room  to  practise  for  the  "  cursnra,"  or 
"  running"  at  the  Olympic  games.  The  "  stadium,"  or  place  for  running  at  these 
games,  was  about  a  furlong  in  length. 

o2 


228  STiciius ;  Act  II. 

is  tar  too  short  for  the  course  ;  how  sorry  for  it  I  am.  How's 
this  ?  I  see  the  door's  closed.  I'll  go  and  knock  at  the  door. 
(Knocks  at  the  door  of  Philijmena's  house.)  Open,  and 
make  haste,  cause  the  door  to  be  thrown  open ;  away  with  all 
delay.  This  matter  is  attended  to  too  carelessly ;  see  how 
long  I've  been  standing  here  and  knocking.  Are  you  in- 
dulging yourselves  with  a  nap  ?  I'll  try  whether  the  door  or 
my  arms  and  feet  are  the  stronger.  (Knocks  and  kicks.)  I 
*vish  much  that  this  door  would  run  away  from  its  master, 
that  for  that  reason  it  might  meet  with  a  heavy  punishment1. 
I'm  tired  of  knocking.  Well,  be  this  the  last  for  you.  {Knocks 
again.) 

Gel.  (apart).  I'll  go  and  accost  him.  (Accosts  Pinacium.) 
Good  day  to  you. 

Pin.  And  good  day  to  you.  Gel.  Are  you  turned  fisher- 
man, then  ? 

Pin.  How  long  is  it  since  you  ate  ? 

Gel.  "Whence  come  you  ?  "What  are  you  carrying  ?  "Why 
arc  you  in  a  hurry  ? 

Pin.  About  that  which  is  no  business  of  yours,  don't  you 
trouble  yourself. 

Gel.  What's  there  in  that  ?  (Taking  up  the  lid  of  the 
basket.)     Pin.  Snakes,  for  you  to  eat. 

Gel.  "Why  are  you  so  pettish?  Pin.  If  you  had  any 
shame,  you  wouldn't  address  me. 

Gel.  May  I  learn  the  truth  from  you  ? 

Pin.  Tou  may  ;  this  day  you'll  get  no  dinner. 

Scene  III. 
Enter  Philumena  from  her  house. 
Phil.  "Who  now,  pray,  is  breaking  this  door  down  ?     {To 
Gelasimus.)    Are  you  doing  this  ?    Do  you  come  to  me  like 
an  enemy  ?  * 

Gel.  My  respects  to  you ;  I  come  at  your  bidding. 
Phil.  And  is  it  for  that  reason  you  are  breaking  down 
my  door  ? 

Gel.  Scold  your  own  people ;  the  offenders  are  your  own. 
I  came  to  see  what  you  wanted  me  for.  "Why,  for  my  own 
part,  I  pitied  this  door. 

1  A  heavy  punishment) — Ver.  312.  He  wishes  that  the  door  was  in  the  condi- 
tion of  a  slave,  and  that  it  had  run  away  from  its  master,  and  then  it  would 
receive  a  severe  punishment  for  its  obduracy — "  malum  magnum." 


8c.  III.  OK,  THE  PARASITE  REBUFFED.  229 

Pin.  For  that  reason  your  assistance  was  given  so  very 
readily. 

Phil.  Pray,  who's  that,  talking  here  so  near  to  us  ? 

Gel.  Pinacium.  Phil.  Where  is  he  ?  {Looks  on  cacti 
side.) 

Pin.  {coming  forward) .  Attend  to  me,  and  leave  alone  that 
needy  Parasite,  Philumena. 

Phil.  Pinacium.      Pin.  That  name  my  elders  gave  me. 

Phil.  What's  your  business  ?  Pin.  What's  my  business, 
do  you  ask  ? 

Phil.  Why  shouldn't  I  ask  it  ?  Pin.  What's  yours  with 
me? 

Phil.  Do  you  insult  me,  impudent  fellow  ?  Answer  me, 
this  very  instant,  Pinacium. 

Pin.  Bid  those,  then,  to  let  me  alone,  who  are  detaining  me. 

Phil.  Who  are  detaining  you?  Pin.  Do  you  ask  me 
that  ?     A  lassitude  is  in  possession  of  all  my  limbs. 

Phil.  Well,  I  know  right  well  that  it's  not  in  posses- 
sion of  your  tongue. 

Pin.  With  such  rapid  speed  have  I  been  hastening  from 
the  harbour,  for  the  sake  of  your  own  well-doing. 

Phil.  Why,  do  you  bring  any  good  news  ? 

Pin.  I  bring- more,  by  very  much,  than  you  expect. 

Phil.  I'm  saved,  then.  Pin.  And  I'm  done  for;  lassi- 
tude is  drinking  up  my  marrow  apace. 

GrEL.  What,  then,  am  I,  the  marrow  of  whose  stomach, 
to  my  sorrow,  famine  has  seized  upon  ? 

Phil.  Did  you  meet  any  one  ?     Pin.  Many. 

Phil.  But  any  man  ?  Pin.  Very  many ;  but,  of  the  many, 
not  one  a  greater  rascal  than  he  is.    {Points  at  Gelasimus.) 

Phil.  How  so  ?  Gel.  I  have  been  aifronted  already  at 
his  saying  uncivil  things  to  me.  If  you  irritate  me  any 
further {Holds  up  hisjlst  to  Pinacium.) 

Pin.  I'  faith,  you'll  be  plaguy  hungry  to  eat  me. 

Gel.  I'll  cause  you  to  know  that  assuredly  you've  said 
that  with  reason. 

Pin.  I  wish  everything  to  be  made  clean.  {Calls  to  the 
Servants  from  the  door.)  Bring  out  here  your  brooms,  and  a 
reed  as  well,1  that  I  may  destroy  all  the  labours  of  the  spiders 

1  A  reed  as  well) — Ver.  347.  M  Arundinem,"  a  long  reed,  probably  like  a 
fishiog-rod,  which  would  be  able  to  sweep  away  the  spider-webs  otherwise  out  of 
reach. 


230  stichus;  Act  II. 

and  their  plaguy  webs,  and  rout  out  all  their  looms.  {The 
bERVANTS  bring  some  brooms.} 

Gel.  The  poor  things  will  be  cold  in  future*. 

Pin.  What  ?  Do  you  think  that  they  are  j ust  like  yourself, 
with  only  one  coat  ?     Take  this  broom.   {Gives  him  a  broom.) 

Gel.  I'll  take  it.  Pin.  This  I'll  take  myself.  Do  you 
sweep  away  there. 

Gel.  I'll  do  so.  {Sweeps  away)  Pin.  {calling  aloud). 
Will  some  one  bring  here  a  pail  and  water1  ? 

Gel.  Beally,  this  fellow's  playing  the  iEdile3  without  the 
vote  of  the  public  even.     {The  water  is  brought) 

Pin.  Come,  do  you  quickly  sweep  the  ground,  and  sprinkle 
before  the  house. 

Gel.  I'll  do  so.  Pin.  It  needs  be  done.  I'll  knock  down 
the  spider-webs  there  from  the  door  and  from  the  wall. 

Gel.  I'  faith,  a  troublesome  business,  this. 

Phil.  Still,  I  don't  at  all  understand  what  it  means ;  un- 
less, perchance,  some  guests  are  about  to  come  ? 

Pin.  {ordering  the  Servants).  Do  you  spread  the  couches. 
Gel.  {aside).  The  beginning  pleases  me,  about  the  couches. 

Pin.  Others,  you  chop  the  billets ;  others,  you  clean  tine 
fish  which  the  fisherman  has  brought;  take  you  down  the 
gammon  of  bacon  and  the  collar  of  brawn3.    . 

Gel.  {aside).  V  faith,  this  is  a  very  sensible  fellow. 

Phil.  By  my  troth,  as  I  imagine,  you  haven't  quite 
minded  the  directions  of  your  mistress. 

Pin.  Why,  I've  left  all  matters  unattended  to  by  reason 
of  what  you  wished. 

Phil.  Then  do  you  inform  me  upon  that,  on  account  of 
which  you  were  sent  to  the  harbour  ? 

Pin.'  I'll  tell  you.  After,  with  the  daybreak,  you  had  sent 
me  to  the  harbour,  the  sun  with  its  beams  opportunely 
arose  from  out  of  the  sea.     While  I  was  enquiring  of  the 

1  A  pail  and  water)— Ver.  352.  "  Nassiternam."  A  water-vessel  with  three 
spouts,  which  received  its  name  from  "  nasum,"  "  a  spout,"  compounded  with 
'  tres,"  "three." 

2  Playing  the  JEdile) — Ver.  353.  The  writer  here  again  refers,  in  a  play 
the  scene  of  which  is  at  Athens,  to  Roman  customs.  The  JEdile  was  a  public 
officer  at  Rome,  whose  business  it  was  to  see  that  the  streets,  houses,  and 
temples,  were  kept  clean.  They  were  chosen  by  the  votes  (suffragium)  of  the 
common  people,  to  which  fact  Gelasimus  alludes  in  the  next  line. 

3  Collar  of  brawn)— Ver.  360.  "  Glandium."  This  really  was  the  neck  of 
the  hog,  which  received  its  name  from  the  kernels  (glandes}  which  it  contained. 


Sc.  111.  OR,  THE  PARASITE  REBUFF  El).  231 

revenue  officers  whether  any  ship  had  arrived  from  Asia,  and 
they  were  saying  none  had  come,  I  beheld,  in  the  meantime, 
a  bark,  than  which  I  think  I  never  saw  a  greater  one.  With 
a  favouring  breeze,  and  in  full  sail,  it  came  into  harbour.  We 
were  enquiring  one  of  another  whose  ship  it  was,  awe?  what  it 
carried  ?  In  the  meantime  I  espied  your  husband  and  his 
servant  Stichus. 

Phil.  Ha !  what  ?  Did  you  mention  Epignomus  ? 

Gel.  Tour  husband  and  my  own  life. 

Pnsr.  He  has  arrived,  I  say.  Phil.  Did  you  see  him 
yourself  ? 

Pin.  Yes,  and  with  pleasure  too.  Gel.  I' faith,  I'll  surely 
take  the  broom,  and  sweep  this  place  with  pleasure. 

Pin.  He  has  brought  a  great  amount  of  silver  and  gold. 

Gel.  'Tis  right  cleverly  done.  Pin.  Wool  and  purple 
in  plenty. 

Gel.  Aye,  for  me  to  clothe  my  carcase  with. 

Pin.  Couches,  adorned  with  ivory  and  gold. 

Gel.  I'll  recline  at  table  right  regally. 

Pin.  Besides — Babylonian  coverings  for  couches1,  and 
carpets  dyed  in  purple,  has  he  brought. 

Gel.  Abundance  of  fine  things.  I'  faith,  his  business  has 
been  successful. 

Pin.  Then,  as  I  began  to  say,  female  players  on  the  harp, 
on  the  pipe,  sackbuts  too2,  has  he  brought  with  him,  of  sur- 
prising beauty. 

Gel.  Capital !  Whon  I'm  at  my  wine,  I'll  be  quite 
sportive ;  then  am  I  in  merriest  pin. 

Pin.  Besides  many  unguents  of  numerous  kinds. 

1  Coverings  for  couches) — Ver.  378.  "  Peristromatia,"  "blankets"  or  "counter- 
panes" were  used  among  the  Romans  to  cover  couches ;  they  were  sometimes  of  the 
most  costly  description,  and  were  mostly  of  purple  colour,  and  frequently  richly 
embroidered  with  gold.  Pliny  speaks  of  Babylonian  cloths  of  divers  colours, 
and  in  the  seventh  chapter  of  Joshua,  ver.  24,  we  read,  "  When  I  saw  among 
the  spoils  a  goodly  Babylonish  garment." 

2  Sackbuts  too) — Ver.  381.  "  Sambucas."  "  Sambuca"  is  supposed  to  be  the 
same  instrument  which  is  mentioned  in  the  third  chapter  of  the  Prophet  David,  and 
is  rendered  in  our  version  of  the  Old  Testament  by  the  word  "  sackbut."  This  in- 
strument was  probably  introduced  into  Greece  and  Rome  from  Syria  or  Phoenicia. 
It  is  supposed  to  have  been  a  kind  of  triangular  harp.  The  word  "  sambucas' 
is  substituted  in  Ritschel's  edition  for  "  sambucinas,"  in  the  former  editions 
It  is  probably  intended  here  to  have  the  same  meaning — "  female  players  on  the 

sambuca,' "  who  were  also  called  "  sambucistriae,"  and  whose  performances 
were  highly  prized  by  the  Romans  as  Asiatic  luxuries. 


232  stichus  ;  Act  II.,  Sc.  Ill, 

Gel.  I'll  not  sell  my  bon  mots ;  I'll  not  have  an  auction 
now ;  I've  got  an  estate  in  fee1.  Let  the  mischievous  hunters 
of  auctions  go  to  perdition.  Hercules,  I  congratulate  thee 
that  the  tenths  which  I  vowed  to  thee  are  increased.  'Tis 
my  hope  that  at  length,  by  some  means  or  other,  I  may  expel 
this  plaguy  famine  from  my  stomach. 

Pin.  And  then,  besides,  he  has  brought  some  Parasites2 
with  him. 

Gel.  Alas !  to  my  confusion,  I'm  undone. 

Pin.  Eight  funny  fellows.  G-el.  I'  faith,  I'll  sweep  this 
dust  back,  which  I  just  now  swept  together.  (Sweeps  it 
back).  Those  bon  mots  are  now  on  sale,  which  I  was  saying 
I  wouldn't  sell.  I'm  done  for:  now  there  is  occasion  for 
spiteful  persons  to  rejoice  at  my  misfortune.  Hercules, 
thou  who  art  a  God,  thou  really  hast  departed  not  oppoi- 
tunely. 

Phil.  Did  you  see  Pamphilus,  the  husband  of  my  sister  ? 

Pin.  No.       Phil.  Isn't  he  there  ? 

Pin.  Yes,  they  said  that  he  had  come  as  well.  I  ran 
hither  before  them,  with  all  speed,  that  I  might  bring  the 
welcome  tidings. 

Phil.  Go  in-doors,  Pinacium ;  bid  the  servants  prepare 
the  sacred  things3  for  me.    (To  Gelasimus.)  Pare  you  well! 

Gel.  Do  you  want  me  to  assist  ? 

Phil.  I  have  servants  enough  in  the  house.  (Philumena. 
and  Pinacittm  go  into  the  house.) 

Gel.  (to  himself).  In  good  sooth,  Gelasimus,  I  doubt  you 
have  come  to  but  little  purpose,  if  neither  he  that  is  here 
gives  you  any  aid,  nor  yet  he  that's  coming.  I'll  off  in- 
doors to  my  books4,  and  take  my  instructions  from  the 
cleverest  sayings  ;  for  if  I  don't  drive  away  those  fellows,  the 
Parasites  that  are  coming,  most  surely  I'm  undone.     (Exit. 

1  An  estate  in  fee)— Ver.  384.  "  Haereditas."  "  A  fortune,"  or  "  an  heirdom," 
:ust  as  we  say,  "  I  have  come  in  to  a  fortune."  He  alludes  to  the  pleasant  life  he 
anticipates,  by  spunging  on  the  wealthy  Epignomus  and  his  brother. 

2  Brought  some  Parasites)— Ver.  388.  The  arch  boy  only  adds  this  to  put 
Gelasimus  in  a  fright,  in  which  he  fully  succeeds.  There  was  no  necessity  to 
import  Parasites  from  Asia  to  Athens. 

3  The  sacred  things)— Ver.  396.  To  perform  a  sacrifice  on  the  safe  return  of  her 
husband. 

*  To  my  boohs) — Ver.  400.  These  were  probably  pamphlets,  filled  with  jokes 
and  funny  stories,  which  Parasites  would  study  for  the  entertainment  of  the  patrons 
whom  they  were  to  amuse  bv  way  of  return  for  their  dinner.     These  books  perhaps 


At't  III.,  Sc.  I.       OR,  THE  PARASITE  REBUFFED.  233 

ACT    THE    THIED. 

Scene  I. 

JZnter  Epignomtts  and  Stichu s,  followed  by  some  Slaves. 

Epig.  Inasmuch  as,  my  business  prosperously  carried  on, 
I  am  returned  safe  home,  thanks  do  I  return  to  Neptune 
and  to  his  tempests ;  to  Mercury  as  well1,  who  in  my  traffic 
has  aided  me,  and  by  my  profits  has  rendered  my  property 
fourfold.  Those  whom  formerly  I  affected  with  sorrow  at 
my  departure,  the  same  shall  I  now  make  joyous  at  my  ar- 
rival. But  already  have  I  met  my  connexion  Antipho,  and 
from  bad  terms  have  I  returned  to  friendship  with  him.  See, 
prithee,  what  money  can  effect.  Since,  my  affairs  pros- 
pering, he  sees  that  I've  returned,  and  brought  home 
great  wealth,  without  any  mediators,  there  on'  board  the 
ship,  upon  the  deck,  we  have  returned  to  friendship  and  good 
feeling.  Both  he  and  my  brother  dine  with  me  this  day ; 
for  yesterday  we  were  both  in  the  same  harbour2  together; 
but  to-day  my  ship  weighed  anchor  a  little  the  soonest. 
Take  these  people  in-doors,  Stichus,  whom3  I've  brought 
with  me. 

Stich.  Master,  whether  I'm   silent  or  speak,  I'm   sure 

occupied  the  same  position  as  the  "  Joe  Millers"  did  in  this  country  during  the  last 
century,  and  the  "  Academies  of  Compliments"  in  the  century  before.  Indeed, 
the  latter,  in  all  their  amplitude,  would  have  been  invaluable  to  a  Parasite,  as  they 
contain  directions  how  to  court  a  lady,  ask  a  riddle,  sing  a  funny  song,  put  a  pctsy 
on  a  ring,  direct  a  letter,  and  a  hundred  other  things. 

1  To  Mercury  as  well) — Ver.  404.  Mercury  was  the  God  of  traffic  and  gain, 
and  the  guardian  of  tradesmen.  He  was  said  to  receive  his  name  from  "  mens," 
r  traffic"  or  "  merchandise."  See  the  comical  prayer  of  the  cheating  tradesman  to 
his  tutelar  Divinity,  in  the  Fasti  of  Ovid,  B.  5,  1.  675  et  seq. 

2  In  the  same  harbour) — Ver.  416.  He  here  alludes  to  the  custom  in  those 
times  of  lying  at  anchor  during  the  night,  and  sailing  in  the  day-time  only, 
as  it  is  clear  that  reference  cannot  here  be  made  to  the  harbour  from  which  they 
originally  set  out,  as  that  was  in  Asia,  and  they  could  not  have  reached  Athens 
from  Asia  within  twenty-four  hours.  Epignomus  and  his  brother  appear  to  have 
freighted  two  ships  with  the  valuable  property  which  they  had  acquired  in  part- 
nership. 

3  These  people  whom) — Ver.  418.  He  alludes  to  the  female  slaves  which  hav* 
been  already  mentioned,  consisting  of  harpers  and  music-girls,  one  of  whom 
we  shall  shortly  find  to  have  attracted  the  admiration  of  Antipho. 


234:  stichus  ;  Act  III. 

* 
you   know  how  many  hardships  I've  endured  in  your  ser- 
vice ;  now,  on  my  arrival  home,  I  wish  to  spend  in  freedom1 
this  one  day  after  these  many  hardships. 

Epig.  You  ask  what's  just  and  right.  Stichus,  you  may 
take  this  day  for  yourself;  I  don't  object  to  it.  Gro  where 
you  like.     A  cask,  too,  of  old  wine,  I  give  you  to  drink. 

Stich.  O,  grand !     I'll  have  my  mistress  this  day. 

Epig.  Even  ten,  so  long  as  it  is  at  vour  own  expense. 

Stich.  What    '****? 

Epig.  What  *  *  *  *  P 

Stich.  I'll  go  and  dine  *  *  'Tis  thus  it 

pleases  me        *  *  *  *  * 

Epig.  Where  do  you  dine  to-day  ? 

Stich.  This  plan  have  I  thus  resolved  upon.  I  have  a 
mistress  here  in  the  neighbourhood,  Stephanium,  the  servant- 
maid  of  your  brother.  I'm  going  to  invite  her ;  I'll  take  her 
to  a  pic-nic  entertainment2  at  her  fellow-servant's,  Sagarinus. 
We  both  have  the  same  mistress ;  we  are  rivals. 

Epig.  Come  then,  conduct  them  in.  I  grant  you  this 
day. 

Stich.  Hold  me  to  blame  if  I  don't  make  the  most  of  it3. 
Troth  now,  I'll  pass  through  the  garden  to  my  mistress,  to 
engage  her  beforehand  for  me  this  evening ;  at  the  same  time 
I'll  give  my  contribution,  and  bid  the  dinner  to  be  cooked  at 
Sagarinus' s,  or  else  I'll  go  myself  and  make  my  marketing 
as  caterer.     Sagarinus,       *  *  *  * 

*  *  a  servant  *  *  *    for  my 

*  #  #  #  #   ^rith  gripes     * 

*  #    to  take  him  home  well  thrashed,  I'll   make  all 
things  to  be  in  readiness  here ;    but  I'm    delaying  myself. 

1  To  spend  in  freedom) — Ver.  422.  "  Eleutheria."  This  is,  originally,  a  Greek 
word.     It  was  also  the  name  of  the  Goddess  of  Liberty. 

2  A  pic-nic  entertainment!) — Ver.  433.  "  Symbola"  was  the  name  given  to  an 
entertainment  to  which  each  of  the  guests  contributed  in  money  or  kind ;  similar, 
in  principle,  to  what  we  call  a  "  pic-nic"  entertainment. 

»  Make  the  most  of  it) — Ver.  436.  "  Excruciavero."  Literally,  "  torment  it.' 
He  seems  to  allude  to  the  word  "  dedo,"  used  by  his  master  in  the  preceding  line, 
"  I  surrender  to  you  this  day ;"  that  word  being  especially  applied  to  the  sur- 
render or  giving-up  of  prisoners ;  on  which  Stichus  rejoins,  "  As  the  day  is 
{surrendered  to  me,  I'll  torment  it  like  a  real  prisoner" — meaning  "  I  won't  let  it 
pass  in  quietness."    He  fully  keass  his  word. 


Se.  II.         OR,  THE  PARASITE  REBUTTED.  235 

And  don't  you  be  surprised1  (to  the  Audience)  that  men,  who 
are  slaves,  drink,  court,  and  give  invitations  to  dinner  ?  This 
is  allowed  us  at  Athens.  But  when  I  think  of  it,  rather 
than  meet  with  censure,  there's  here,  too,  another  door  to  the 
back  buildings  of  our  house.  I'll  go  that  way  to  market ;  by 
that  way  I'll  bring  back  the  provisions — through  the  garden 
there's  a  passage  that  communicates  with  both  houses.  (To 
the  Slaves.)  Do  you  follow  me  this  way.  I  surely  will  pull 
this  day  to  bits2.     {Goes  into  the  house  of  Epignomtts.) 

Scene  II. 
Enter  Gelasimus. 

G-el.  (to  himself).  I've  consulted  my  books;  I'm  as  sure 
as  possible,  that  by  my  funny  bon  mots  I  shall  recover  my 
patron3.  Now  I'm  going  to  see  whether  he  has  arrived  by 
this  from  the  harbour,  that  when  he  comes  I  may  smooth 
him  down  with  my  speeches. 

Epig.  Surely,  this  is  Gelasimus,  the  Parasite,  that's 
coming. 

Gel.  (to  himself).  "With  lucky  auspices,  by  my  troth,  this 
day  did  I  come  out  of  doors  ;  since  an  omen  auspiciously  befel 
me*.  This  was  beheld  by  me  ;  how  a  weasel  carried  off  a  mouse 
close  at  my  feet.     For  as  she  found  sustenance  for  herself 

1  Don't  you  be  surprised) — Ver.  446.  He  apologises  for  introducing  slaves  carous- 
ing on  the  Roman  stage,  by  reminding  the  Spectators  that  the  scene  is  at  Athens, 
where  greater  freedom  and  indulgence  was  allowed  to  slaves  than  at  Rome. 

2  Pull  this  day  to  bits) — Ver.  453.  *  Hunc  lacero  diem."  He  seems  here  to 
continue  the  metaphor  used  in  ver.  436 :  "  I'll  torture  this  day  finely" — I'll  get 
all  I  can  out  of  it. 

3  Recover  my  patron) — Ver  455.  "  Regem."  In  common  parlance,  rich  men 
were  often  styled  by  their  dependents  and  flatterers,  "  rex,"  "  my  king." 

*  Auspiciously  befel  me) — Ver.  460.  "  Quum  strena  mi  obscaevavit."  This 
passage  is  very  obscure,  and  has  puzzled  the  Commentators,  who  have  generally 
taken  refuge  in  a  various  reading,  "  Eum  strenue  obcaenavit,"  which  seems  to 
make  but  very  poor  sense.  The  research,  however,  of  the  indefatigable  Ritschel 
has  set  that  mode  of  escape  entirely  at  rest.  "  Strena"  was  the  name  of  a  New 
Year's  gift,  which  was  giv^n  and  received  on  the  Caleiws  of  January,  that  the 
year  might  be  commenced  unaer  good  auspices.  Probably  from  that  circum- 
stance, it  became  synonymous  with  a  good  or  "  auspicious  omen."  "  Otscsevo" 
is  rendered  in  the  Dictionaries,  "  to  give  a  bad  omen"  Such,  however,  is  not 
necessarily  its  meaning,  in  all  instances.  "  Scseva"  is  an  "  omen"  or  "  augury," 
whether  fortunate  or  not.  Consequently,  "  obscaevo"  may  very  reasonably  mean, 
'  to  fall  in  one's  way  as  an  omen ;"  if  so,  the  expression,  as  here  used,  will  mean, 
"  a  lucky  omen  fell  in  my  way." 


23G  stichus  ;  Act  III. 

this  day,  so  do  I  hope  that  I  shall  do,  as  the  augury  predicts. 
(Sees  Epignomus.)  Surely  this  is  Epignomus  that's  standing 
here ;  I'll  go  and  address  him.  My  dear  Epignomus,  how 
pleased  I  am  to  see  you  now ;  how  my  tears  are  starting  forth 
lor  very  joy.     Have  you  all  along  enjoyed  your  health  ? 

Epig.  With  care  it  has  been  preserved. 

G-el.  Eight  heartily  I  wish  you  health1. 

Epig.  You  speak  kindly,  and  like  a  friend.  May  the  Gods 
grant  what  you  wish. 

G-el.         *         *         *        Epig.  I,  sup  there  with  you  ? 

Gel.  Since  you  are  returned  safe. 

Epig.  Really,  an  engagament  has  been  made  already ;  but 
I  give  you  thanks. 

G-el.  Do  promise  me.     Epig.  It's  settled. 

G-el.  But  do,  I  say.     Epig.  The  thing's  agreed  on. 

GrEL.  By  my  troth,  you'd  do  it  with  much  pleasure  to  me. 

Epig.  I  know  that  well.  When  an  opportunity  shall  come, 
it  shall  be  so. 

Gel.  Now,  then,  is  the  opportunity. 

Epig.  V  faith,  I  cannot.  G-el.  Why  make  difficulties  ? 
Do  consider ;  I  have  I  know  not  what  luxuries  at  hand2. 

Epig.  Do  be  off,  now ;  seek  for  yourself  another  guest  for 
to-day. 

Gtel.  Tou  promise,  then  ?  Epig.  I  would  make  no  diffi- 
culty if  I  could. 

Gel.  Really,  on  my  word,  one  thing,  for  sure,  I  promise 
you,  I'd  entertain  you  with  pleasure,  beyond  a  doubt,  i/ 
you  would  promise. 

Epig.  Adieu !    (3Ioving.)      Gel.  Have  you  resolved  ? 

Epig.  I  have  resolved.     I  shall  dine  at  home. 

Gtel.  (aside) .  Since  nothing  has  been  effected  this  way,  I'll 
therefore  approach  him  by  a  more  open  path,  and  I'll  speak 
plainly  out.  (To  Epignomus.)  Since  you,  yourself,  are  not 
willing  to  promise  to  come  to  me,  should  you  like  that  I 
should  come  to  dine  with  you  ? 

Epig.  If  it  were  possible,  I  should  like  it ;  but  here  are 
nine  other  people3  coming  to  dine  at  my  house. 

1  /  wish  you  health) — Ver.  468.  "  Propino  tibi  salutem  plenis  faucibus."  Lite- 
rally, "  I  drink  your  health  with  my  jaws  crammed  full,"  a  very  apt  mode  of  ex- 
pression for  a  Parasite. 

2  Luxuries  at  hand)— Yet.  478.  "  In  mundo."     Literally,  "  in  the  world.'' 

•  Nine  other  people) — Ver.  487.  Aulus  Gellius  and  Macrobius  tell  us  that  the 


Sc.  Tl.  O.K,  THE  PAEAS1TE  EEBTJTFED.  237 

GrEL.  For  my  part,  I  don't  ask  that  I  should  recline  oil 
the  couch  ;  you  know  that  I'm  a  man  for  the  lower  seats. 

Epig.  But  these  are  deputies  of  a  people,  tip-top  men; 
they  come  here  as  public  ambassadors  from  Ambracia1. 

GrEL.  Let  then  the  deputies  of  a  people,  your  tip-top  men, 
recline  at  the  tip-top  place;  I,  the  lowest,  in  the  lowest 
quarter. 

Epig.  It  isn't  proper  for  you  to  be  entertained  among 
deputies. 

G-el.  I  'faith,  and  I — I'm  a  deputy,  too2,  but  little  it  does 
avail  me. 

Epig.  I  intend  that  to-morrow  we  shall  dine  upon  the 
scraps.     Sincerely,  farewell.     {Goes  into  his  house.) 

Gel.  By  my  troth,  'tis  clear  that  I'm  undone,  and  by  no 
fault  of  my  own3.  The  number  is  less  than  it  was  before  by 
one  Gelasimus.  I'm  resolved,  hereafter,  never  to  believe  in 
a  weasel,  for  I  know  of  no  beast  more  uncertain  than  her. 
She  who  herself  is  ten  times  a  day  shifting  her  place,  from 
her  have  I  taken  my  omens  in  matters  of  life  and  death  to  me ! 
I'm  determined  to  call  my  friends  together,  to  take  counsel 
how  by  rule  I  must  starve  henceforth.  (Exit. 

ancients  never  admitted  to  a  feast  more  than  nine,  the  number  of  the  Muses,  or 
less  than  three,  the  number  of  the  Graces.  The  true  reason,  however,  was  that 
the  three  "  triclinia,"  or  couches,  made  three  parts  of  the  square  around  the  table ; 
and  each  containing  but  three,  nine  was  as  great  a  number  as  could  be  accommo- 
dated. Epignomus  mentions  that  number  here,  by  way  of  assuring  Gelasimus  that 
there  is  really  no  room  for  him.  On  this,  the  Parasite  says  that  he  is  "  imi 
subseliii  vir,"  "  a  man  for  the  lowest  stool"  or  "bench,"  which  he  can  very  well 
manage  with.  '•  Subsellia"  was  the  name  of  the  seats  of  the  Tribunes,  Triumvirs, 
and  Quaestors,  who  were  not  honoured  with  Curule  chairs. 

1  From  Ambracia) — Ver.  491.  Ambracia  was  a  city  of  Epirus,  on  the  Western 
coast  of  Greece. 

2  Fm  a  deputy,  too) — Ver.  495.  He  puns  on  the  word  "  orator,"  which  signi- 
fies u  a  pleader"  or  "  orator,"  as  well  as  an  "  ambassador"  or  "  dej  nty."  He  says 
that  he  is  a  pleader  too  (for  the  cause  of  his  own  stomach),  but  all  to  no  purpose. 

3  By  no  fault  of  my  own) — Ver.  497.  "  Nihil  obnoxie,"  "  by  reason  of  no  fault 
or  offence  of  my  own ;"  thus  consoling  himself  for  his  rebuff.  It  has  been  ob- 
served by  various  Critics,  that  this  passage  is  very  obscure ;  but  the  above  trans- 
lation,  which  is  sanctioned  by  the  learned  Rost,  is  most  probably  the  correct  one 
Warner  renders  it  "  ocfc  of  doubt,"  which,  out  of  doubt,  is  not  the  meaning. 


238  BTicHUs ;  Act  IY 

ACT    THE   EOUETII. 

Scene  I. 
Enter  Antipho  and  Pamphiltts. 

Ant.  So  may  the  Gods  favour  me,  and  preserve  for  me  my 
daughters,  it  is  a  pleasure  to  me,  Pamphihis,  that  I  see  you 
both  return  home  to  your  native  land,  your  business  prosper- 
ously managed,  yourself  and  your  brother. 

Pam.  I  should  have  heard  enough  from  you,  Antipho,  did 
I  not  see  that  you  are  friendly  to  me ;  now,  since  I've  found 
that  you  are  my  friend,  I'll  give  you  credence. 

Ant.  I  would  invite  you  to  my  house  to  dinner,  had  not 
your  brother  told  me  that  you  were  going  to  dine  at  his 
house  to-day,  when  he  invited  myself  to  his  house  to  dinner. 
And  it  would  have  been  more  proper  for  me  to  give  you  an 
entertainment  on  your  arrival,  than  to  engage  myself  to  him, 
were  it  not  that  I  didn't  wish  to  disoblige  him.  Now  I  don't 
wish  with  words  alone  to  insinuate  myself  into  your  favour ; 
to-morrow  you  shall  be  at  my  house,  both  you  and  he,  with 
your  wives. 

Pam.  Then,  the  day  after,  at  my  house  ;  for  it  was  yester- 
day he  invited  me  for  to-day.  But  am  I  quite  reconciled  to 
you,  Antipho  ? 

Ant.  Since  you  have  thus  thrived  in  your  affairs,  as  it 
behoves  yourselves  and  persons  friendly  disposed  to  wish,  lot 
there  be  good-will  and  intercourse  between  us.  Take  you  care 
to  think  of  this ;  according  as  wealth  is  obtained  by  each  man, 
so  does  he  experience  his  friends.  If  his  fortunes  are  flourish- 
ing, so  are  his  friends  tiue ;  if  his  prospects  decline,  so,  too, 
do  his  friends  decline.     Fortune  finds  friends. 

Enter  EpiGNOMUs/rom  Ms  house. 
Epig.  {to  himself).  I'm  now  returned.  'Tis  a  great  delight, 
if  you  have  been  long  from  home,  when  you  return  home 
again,  if  no  anxieties  come  in  contact  with  your  feelings. 
But,  in  my  absence,  so  well  has  my  wife  taken  care  of  my 
private  affairs,  that  she  has  made  me  free  and  unembarrassed 
by  anxieties.  But,  see,  here's  my  brother  Pamphilus,  walk' 
ing  with  his  father-in-law. 


Sc.  I.  OR,  THE  PARASITE  REBUFFED.  239 

Pam.  How  fares  it,  Epignomus  ?  Epig.  How  with  you  ? 
How  long  since  you  came  into  harbour  ? 

Pam.  Not  very  long  ago.  Epig.  (aside).  And  is  it  since 
then  that  he  has  become  on  smooth  terms  with  you  ? 

Ant.  (overhearing).  More  smooth  than  the  sea,  on  which 
you  have  both  been  borne. 

Epig.  You  do  as  you  are  wont  to  do  other  things.  Do  we 
unlade  the  ship  to-day,  brother  ? 

Pam.  I  would  rather  go  quietly  to  work.  Let's  rather 
lade  ourselves  with  delights  in  their  turn.  How  soon  will 
the  dinner  be  cooked  ?    I  haven't  breakfasted  to-day. 

Epig.  Go  in-doors  to  my  house  and  bathe. 

Pam.  I'll  only  step  home  to  my  own  house,  to  salute  the 
Gods1  and  my  wife.  If  I  do  that  as  I  wish,  I'll  forthwith 
return  to  your  house. 

Epig.  But  your  wife  is  hastening  to  come  here  with  her 
sister. 

Pam.  'Tis  very  good  ;  there  will  then  be  the  less  delay  on 
that  account.     I  shall  be  at  your  house2  this  instant. 

Ant.  (to  Pamphilus).  Before  you  go  away,  in  your  pre- 
sence I  wish  to  relate  a  single  story  to  him. 

Epig.  By  all  means.  Ant.  There  was  once  an  old  gentle- 
man, just  as  I  now  am  ;  he  had  two  daughters,  such  as  mine 
now  are  ;  they  were  married  to  two  brothers,  just  as  mine  now 
are  to  yourselves. 

Pam.  I  wonder  how  the  story'is  to  turn  out  ? 

Ant.  One  of  these  young  men  had,  as  you  (to  Pamphilus) 
now  have,  a  damsel,  a  music-girl ;  he  had  brought  her  from 
abroad,  as  you  have  now  done.  Now,  this  old  gentleman  was 
a  widower,  just  as  I  now  am. 

Pam.  Do  proceed  ;  this  story  is  really  a  propos. 

Ant.  Then  said  this  old  gentleman  to  him  to  whom  the 
music-girl  belonged,  just  as  I  now  say  to  you 

Pam.  I'm  listening3,  and  carefully  giving  heed. 

1  To  salute,  the  Gods) — Ver.  534.  To  thank  his  household  Gods  for  his  escape 
from  the  perils  of  the  sea,  and  his  success  in  his  speculations. 

- 1  shall  be  at  your  house) — Ver.  537.  These  words  are  given,  in  Ritschel's  edition, 
to  Epignomus,  but  clearly  erroneously,  as  it  is  Pamphilus  who  is  promising  that, 
after  he  has  run  home,  he  will  be  at  the  house  of  his  brother  immediately. 

3  Fm  listening)— Ver.  546.  Pamphilus  says  this,  as  the  eld  man  has  probably 
touched  him,  to  bespeak  his  attention. 


240  STICHTJS  ;  Act  IV. 

Ant.  "  I  gave  you  my  daughter,  to  be  a  comfortable  bed- 
fellow for  you ;  now,  I  think  it  fair  that  one  should  be  given 
me  in  return  by  you,  to  be  my  bed-fellow." 

Pam.  Who  says  that  ?  Does  he  say  it1  just  as  though  you 
were  to  say  it  ? 

Ant.  Just  $s  I  now  say  it  to  you.  "  Aye,  I'll  give  you 
two  of  them,"  says  this  young  man,  "  if  one's  too  little ;  and 
if  you  are  not  satisfied  with  two,"  says  he,  "  two  more  shall 
be  added." 

Pam.  Prithee,  who  says  that  ?  Does  he  say  it  j  ust  as 
though  I  were  to  say  it  ? 

Ant.  He  says  it  just  as  though  you  were  to  say  it.  Then 
says  this  old  gentleman,  just  as  though  I  were  to  say  it, 
'*  "Well,  give  me  four,  if  you  like,  so  long  only  as,  i'  faith, 
you  find  them  something  to  eat  as  well,  that  they  mayn't 
consume  my  victuals."  • 

Pam.  Why  surely  it  must  have  been  a  stingy  old  chap  to 
say  that,  in  asking  food  as  well  of  him  who  promised  them 
to  him. 

Ant.  Why  surely,  this  young  man  must  have  been  a 
good-for-nothing  fellow,  who  forthwith,  when  the  other 
asked  him,  refused  to  give  him  a  grain  of  wheat.  But,  i' 
troth,  the  old  gentleman  asked  what  was  fair,  inasmuch  as 
the  dowry  which  he  had  given  to  his  daughter,  he  wished 
him  to  have  as  an  equivalent  for  the  music-girl. 

Pam.  I'  faith,  for  sure  I  really  do  think  that  the  young 
man  was  well  advised,  who  wouldn't  give  a  mistress  to  that 
old  fellow  in  return  for  the  dower.  . 

Ant.  The  old  gentleman  wished,  indeed,  if  he  could,  to 
bargain  for  their  maintenance ;  because  he  couldn't,  he  said 
he  wished  it  to  be  done  on  what  terms  it  might.  "  Done," 
said  this  young  man.  "  You  do  me  a  kindness,"  said  the  old 
gentleman.  "  Have  I  the  thing  agreed  upon  ?"  said  he. 
"  I'll  do  even  as  you  wish  it  to  be  done,"  said  the  other.  But 
I'll  be  off  in-doors,  and  congratulate  my  daughters  on  your 
arrival.     Then  I'll  go  wash  me  at  the  bath2 ;  there  will  I 

1  Does  he  say  it) — Ver.  549.  He  imitates  the  old  man's  manner  of  adapting  Ins 
Btory  to  the  present  company,  and  here  jokes  him  upon  it. 

2  At  the  bath) — Ver.  568.  "Pyelum."  "  Pyelus"  is  a  Greek  word  Latinised; 
it  signifies  a  vessel  used  in  bathing,  which  was  suffic  <ently  large  to  hold  the  bathe 
m  a  sitting  posture. 


Sc.  II.         OE,  THE  PAKASITE  REBUFEED.  241 

take  all  care  of  my  old  age ;  after  that,  when  I've  bathed, 
lying  down,  I'll  await  you  at  my  leisure.  (Exit. 

Pam.  A  funny  mortal,  Antipho  ;  how  cleverly  he  did  make 
up  his  story.  Even  yet  the  rogue  considers  himself  a  young 
man.  A  mistress  shall  be  given  to  the  fellow,  to  sing  to  the 
old  chap  at  night  in  bed;  for, 'i'  faith,  indeed,  I  know  not 
of  what  other  use  a  mistress  can  be  to  him.  But  how 
fares  our  Parasite,  Gelasimus  ?     Is  he  well,  too  ? 

Epig.  I'  faith,  I  saw  the  fellow  not  so  very  long  ago. 

Pam.  How  fares  he  ?     Epig.  Like  one  half-starved. 

Pam.  "Why  didn't  you  invite  the  fellow  to  your  house  t  * 
dinner  ? 

Epig.  That  on  my  arrival  I  mightn't  be  wasting  anything 
But  see,  here's  the  wolf  in  the  Eable1 ;  here  he  is  in  person 
with  his  ravenous  fit. 

Pam.  "We'll  have  some  sport  with  the  fellow. 

Epig.  You  put  me  in  mind  of  a  plan  I  had  already  re- 
solved on. 

Scene  II. 
Enter  Gelasimus. 


Gel.  (to  tie  Audience).  But  as  I  had  begun  to  tell  you  ; 
while  I  have  been  absent  hence,  I've  now  been  consulting 
with  my  friends  and  with  my  relatives.  They  have  been  my 
advisers  to  the  effect  that  I  should  this  very  day  kill  myself 
with  starvation.  But  don't  I  see  Pamphilus  with  his  brother 
Epignomus?  Yes, 'tis  he.  I'll  accost  the  man.  (Goes  up 
to  Pamphilus.)  0  longed-for  Pamphilus !  O  my  salvation  ! 
0  my  life  !  O  my  delight !  right  welcome.  I  rejoice  that  you've 
returned  safe  from  abroad  to  your  native  land.     "Welcome. 

Pam.  "Welcome,  Gelasimus.  Gel.  Have  you  been  quite 
well? 

Pam.  I  have  taken  good  care  of  my  health. 

Wolf  in  the  Fable) — Ver.  577.  "  Lupus  in  Fabula"  was  a  common  expres- 
sion among  the  Romans,  answering  exactly  to  our  very  elegar  t  Proverb,  M  Talk  of 
the  devil,  he  is  sure  to  appear."  It  either  alludes  to  the  table  where  the  nur.se 
threatens  that  the  wolf  shall  take  the  naughty  child,  on  which  he  makes  his  ap- 
[pearance,  but  is  disappointed  in  his  expectations;  or  else  to  the  well-knswn  oa« 
ot  the  Shepherd-boy  and  the  Wolf. 

n 


242  stichtjs  ;  Act  IV 

Gel.  I'  troth,  I'm  glad  of  it.  I'  laitli,  I  confoundedly 
wish  I  had  now  a  thousand  measures  of  silver. 

Epig.  "What  need  have  you  of  it  ? 

Gel.  I'  faith,  that  I  might  invite  him  to  dinner,  and  not 
invite  you. 

Epig.  Tou  are  talking  against  your  own  interest. 

G-el.  This,  then,  that  I  might  invite  you  both         *  * 

*  #         #         #         for  mj  par£         #  #  *  # 

*  I  should  not  avoid1        ###### 
there  is  nothing  so         *         as  this         *  *  *  * 

Epig.  Troth,  now,  I'd  ask  you  with  pleasure,  if  there 
were  room  left. 

Gel.  Well,  standing,  then,  I'll  gobble  down  a  bit  in  the 
scramble. 

Epig.  No,  only  this  one  thing  can  be  done. 

Gel.  "What?  Epig.  When  the  guests  have  gone,  that 
then  you  may  come 

Gel.  Hurra !  capital !  Epig.  To  wash  the  pots,  I  mean ; 
not  to  dinner. 

Gel.  The  Gods  confound  you !    "What  say  you,  Pamphilus  ? 

Pam.  I'  troth,  this  day  I'm  engaged  to  dine  elsewhere 
abroad. 

Gel.  How,  abroad  ?     Pam.  Eeally  abroad,  on  my  word. 

Gel.  How  the  plague  do  you  like,  thus  wearied,  to  be 
supping  abroad  ? 

Pam.  Which  do  you  advise  me?  Gel.  Order  a  dinner  to  be 
cooked  at  home,  and  word  to  be  sent  to  him  who  invited  you. 

Pam.  Shall  I  dine  at  home,  alone  ? 

Gel.  Wny,  not  alone ;  invite  me.  Pam.  But  Tm  afraid  lest 
he  should  scold  me,  who  has  been  to  this  expense  for  my  sake. 

Gel.  It  may  easily  be  excused — only  listen  to  me ;  do 
order  a  dinner  to  be  cooked  at  home. 

Epig.  Not  by  my  advice,  indeed,  will  he  act  so  as  to  dis- 
appoint that  person  this  day. 

Gel.  Will  you  not  be  off  from  here  ?  Perhaps  you  sup- 
pose that  I  don't  see  what  you're  about.  Do  you  look  to 
yourself,  please.  {To  Pamphilus.)  How  that  fellow  is 
gaping  after  your  property  just  like  a  hungry  wolf.  Don't 
you  know  how  men  are  set  upon  here  in  the  street  at  night  ? 

1  /  should  not  avoid) — Ver.  590.  The  meaning  of  this  fragment  seems  to  be, 
"  I  really  would  invite  you  both,  if  it  were  in  my  power ;  but  as  I  have  nothing  t« 
offer  you,  you  might  as  well  give  me  an  invitation." 


Sc.  II.         OR,  THE  PARASITE  REBUFFED.  243 

Pam.  So  many  the  more  servants  will  I  bid  to  come  and 
fetch  me,  that  they  may  protect  me. 

Epig.  He  won't  stir — he  won't  stir ;  because  you  persuade 
him  so  earnestly  not  to  go  out. 

Gel.  Do  order  a  dinner  to  be  cooked  at  home  with  all 
speed  for  me  and  for  yourself  and  your  wife.  Troth,  if  you 
do  so,  I  don't  think  you'll  say  that  you  are  deceived. 

Pam.  So  far  as  that  dinner  is  concerned,  Gelasimus,  you 
may  be  dinnerless  to-day. 

Gel.  Are  you  going  abroad  to  dine  ? 

Pam.  I'm  going  to  dine  at  my  brother's,  hard  by. 

Gel.  Is  that  fixed  ?     Pam.  Fixed. 

Gel.  By  my  troth,  I  hope  you  may  be  struck  with  a  stone 
this  day. 

Pam.  I'm  not  afraid ;  I  shall  go  through  the  garden ;  I'll 
not  go  abroad. 

Epig.  What  say  you  to  that,  Gelasimus  ? 

Gel.  You're  entertaining  your  deputies ;  keep  them  to 
yourself. 

Epig.  Why,  faith,  'tis  your  own  business. 

Gel.  If,  indeed,  'tis  my  own  business,  avail  yourself  of 
my  assistance  ;  invite  me. 

Epig.  By  my  faith,  I  see,  as  I  fancy,  one  place  still  for 
yourself  only,  where  you  may  recline. 

Pam.  Really,  I  do  think  it  may  be  managed. 

Gel.  0  light  of  the  city  !  Epig.  If  you  can  manage  to  re- 
cline in  a  small  compass. 

Gel.  Aye,  even  between  two  wedges1  of  iron.  As  little 
space  as  a  puppy  can  lie  in,  the  same  will  be  enough  for  me. 

Epig.  I'll  beg  for  it  some  way  or  other;  come  along. 
(Pulls  him  along.') 

Gel.  What?  This  way?  Epig.  Tes,  to  prison.  For 
here,  indeed,  you'll  not  find  any  further  entertainment2. 
Let's  be  off,  you  JPamphilus. 

1  Between  two  wedges) — Ver.  619.  He  will  take  so  little  space,  that  he  will  be 
a'ule  to  sit  in  the  compass  that  lies  between  two  wedges,  when  driven  into  a  tree 
for  the  purpose  of  forcing  out  a  portion  of  the  wood. 

2  Further  entertainment) — Ver.  622.  "  Genium."  The  Genii  were  tutelary  Di- 
vinities, each  supposed  to  have  charge  of  an  individual  from  his  birth  to  his 
death.  They  were  propitiated  with  wine  and  sacrifice,  and  hence  the  notion 
arose  that  they  took  pleasure  in  revelry  and  feasting.  From  this  circum- 
stance, the  word  "genius"  came  to  signify  a  person's  "capacity  for"  or  "bra 
of  enjoyment." 

r2 


244  STimiirs ;  Act  V 

Pam.  I'll  but  salute  the  Gods :  then  I'll  pass  through  to 
your  house  forthwith. 

G-el.  What  then?  Epig.  Why,  I  said  that  you  might 
go  to  prison. 

Gel.  Well,  if  you  order  it,  I'll  go  there  even. 

Epig.  Immortal  Gods !  really,  by  my  troth,  this  fellow 
might  be  induced  by  a  dinner  or  a  breakfast  to  bear  extreme 
torture. 

Gel.  Such  is  my  nature ;  with  anything  can  I  struggle 
much  more  easily  than  with  hunger. 

Epig.  I  know  it :  at  my  house  full  long  enough  has  this 
facility  of  yours  been  experienced  by  me  *  *  * 

*  *  while  you  were  the  Parasite  of  myself 

and  my  brother,  we  ruined  our  fortunes.  Now  I  don't  wish 
you  to  be  made  by  me  from  a  Gelasimus  into  a  Catagelasi- 
mus1.     (Epignomus  and  Pamphiltis  go  into  their  homes.) 

Gel.  And  are  you  gone  now  ?  Surely  he  is  gone.  Now 
have  I  need  of  a  wise  resolution.  Both  are  gone  ;  consider, 
Gelasimus,  what  plan  you  must  adopt.  *  *  *  * 
What,  I  ?  Yes,  you.  What,  for  myself  ?  Yes,  for  yourself. 
Don't  you  see  how  dear  provisions  are  ?  Don't  you  see  how 
the  kindness  and  the  heartiness  of  men  have  vanished? 
Don't  you  see  how  drolls  are  set  at  nought,  and  how  they 
themselves  are  sponged  upon  ?  By  my  troth,  not  a  person 
shall  ever  behold  me  alive  on  the  morrow ;  for,  this  instant, 
in-doors  will  I  load  my  throat  with  a  bulrush  dose2.  And  by 
this  I  shall  not  give  cause  for  men  to  say  that  I  died  of 
hunger.  {Exit. 

ACT    THE    EIFTH. 
Scene  I. 

Enter  Stichus,  and  places  provisions,  a  table,  and  couches 

on  the  stage. 
Stich.  Foolishly  and  unwisely  is  it  done  in  my  opinion, 

1  Catagelasimus) — Ver.  631.  He  makes  a  poor  joke  on  the  name  of  Gelasimus, 
by  way  of  an  excuse  for  not  inviting  him.  "  When  helping  me  to  spend  my  for- 
tune, you  were  '  Gelasimus,'  one  that  amused  us  by  your  wit  and  drollery.  I'll 
not  now  be  instrumental  in  making  you  henceforth  a  butt  and  a  subject  of  ridi- 
cule to  others :"  the  word  being  the  name  of  Gelasimus,  compounded  with  the 
Greek  preposition  Kara. 

2  A  bulrush  dose)— Ver.  639.  He  means  that  he  will  go  and  hang  himself  with 
fa  rope  made  of  bulrushes,  which  he  calls  a  "  bulrush  dose"  or  M  draught." 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  PAEASTTE  REBUFFED.  2  1-5 

if  people  are  in  the  habit,  if  they  are  expecting  a  person, 
of  looking  out  for  him ;  faith,  he  doesn't  on  that  account 
come  a  bit  the  faster.  I'm  now  doing  that  same  thing,  in 
looking  out  for  Sagarinus ;  who,  still,  for  that  reason  won't 
come  a  jot  the  faster.  Troth,  I  shall  just  now  be  talcing  my 
place  alone,  if  he  doesn't  come  here.  I'll  now  fetch  that 
cask  of  wine  hither  from  home,  and  then  I'll  take  my  place. 
The  day,  like  snow,  is  melting  away  apace.  (Goes  into  the 
house  o^Epignomus.) 

Scene  Ii. 
Enter  Sagarinus. 
Sag.  Hail!  Athens,  thou  nurse  of  Greece ;  country  of  my 
master,  hail !  How  joyously  do  I  behold  thee.  But  I  have 
a  wish  to  see  how  my  mistress  and  fellow-servant,  Stephanium, 
is  faring.  For  I  bade  Stichus  to  give  her  my  regards,  and 
to  tell  her  that  I.  should  come  to-day,  so  that  she  might  cook 
a  dinner  in  good  time.     But,  surely,  here's  Stichus. 

He-enter  Stichus,  with  a  cash  of  wine. 

Stich.  (to  himself).  A  clever  thing  you  did,  master,  when 
you  presented  your  servant,  Stichus,  with  this  gift.  O  ye 
immortal  Gods !  how  many  delights  do  I  carry,  how  many 
smiles,  how  many  jokes,  how  many  a  kiss,  dancing,  dalliance, 
and  good-fellowship. 

Sag.  .Stichus,  how  fare  you  ?  Stich.  Eight  well,  Saga- 
rinus, most  delightfully;  I'm  bringing  Dionysus1,  as  my 
guest;  and  yours.  For,  i'  faith,  the  dinner's  cooked ;  free 
range  has  been  given  me  and  you  at  your  house.  For  at 
our  house  there's  an  entertainment ;  your  master's  dining 
there  with  his  wife,  and  Antipho  as  well ;  there,  too,  is  my 
master.  This  was  given  me  as  a  present.  (Points  to  the 
cask.) 

Sag.  How  ?  Are  you  dreaming  ?  Stich.  I'  faith,  I'm 
telling  you  the  truth. 

Sag.  "Who  then  gave  you  this  ?  Stich.  "What  matters 
that  to  you?  I  wish  us  this  day  to  wash  away  everything 
of  foreign  climes.  Leave  them  alone ;  let's  now  attend  to 
Athens ;  follow  me.    Do  you  at  once  make  haste,  and  bathe. 

1  Bringing  Dionysus) — Ver.  661.  Dionysus  was  the  Greek  name  of  Bacchus, 
the  God  of  wine.  He  alludes  to  the  "  cadus,"  or  earthenware  cask  of  wine  which 
fee  is  carrying. 


246  stichus  ;  Act  IV. 

Sag.  I  have  bathed.  Stich.  Very  good;  follow  me,  then, 
this  way  in-doors,  Sagarinus. 

Sag.  Of  course,  I  follow.  By  my  troth,  this  beginning  pleases 
me  as  I  return  home;  a  happy  omen  and  augury1  has  met 
me  in  my  path.     {They  go  into  the  house  o/'Pamphilus.) 

Scene  III. 

Enter  STEPHANiUM/rora  the  house  o/*Epignomus. 

Stepii.  {to  the  Audience).  I  wish  that  it  may  ap- 
pear wondrous  to  no  one  of  you,  Spectators,  why  I  who 
live  there  {pointing  to  the  house  of  Pamphilus)  am  come 
out  hither  from  this  other  house :  I'll  inform  you  thereon. 
Just  now  was  I  sent  for  to  this  house  by  the  back  way. 
For  as  soon  as  news  was  brought  that  the  husbands  of  these 
ladies  were  about  to  come,  we  all  hurried  thither.  We 
attended  to  laying  the  couches,  and  setting  all  in  order. 
Still,  amid  these  duties,  I  had  a  care  for  my  friends,  Stichus 
and  my  fellow-servant  Sagarinus,  that  their  dinner  should  be 
cooked.  Stichus  has  been  caterer ;  but  for  cooking  it,  I've 
appointed  one  my  deputy.  Now,  I'll  be  off  hence,  and 
attend  to  my  friends,  who,  I  see,  are  coming  here.  {Goes 
into  the  house  of  Pamphiltjs.) 

Scene  IV. 

Enter  Stichus  and  Sagaeinus  from  the  house  of  Pamphi- 
lus  with  provisions,  a  FiYimfottoioing. 

Sag.  Come,  out  of  doors  with  you ;  lead  on  the  proces- 
sion2. Stichus,  I  appoint  you  commander  of  the  cask.  I'm 
resolved  to  prove  our  banquet  in  every  fashion  this  day. 
So  may  the  Gods  love  me,  we  are  well  entertained  in  being 
feasted  in  this  place.  I  will  that  each  person  that  passes 
by  shall  be  invited  to  join  the  banquet. 

Stich.  Agreed,  so  long  only  as,  i'  faith,  each  man  comes 
with  his  own  wine3  ;  for  of  this,  a  mouthful  shall  be  given  to 

1  A  happy  omen  a?id  augury)— Ver.  673.  "  Bona  scaeva  strenaque."  See  the 
Note  to  1.  460. 

2  Lead  on  the  procession) — Ver.  683.  They  are  about  to  have  their  carousal  in 
front  of  the  house.    Sagarinus  puts  on  an  air  of  importance,  as  if  mustering  all  of 

large  company :  whereas  the  only  guests,  besides  himself,  are  Stichus  and  the 
Piper.     Stephaniu.n  has  gone  to  dress  herself  for  the  occasion. 

3  With  his  own  wine)  —  Ver.  687.  It  has  been  before  remarked,  that  the 
*  Bymbola,"  or  "    ic-nic  "  was  made  on  these  terms. 


Sc.  IV.  OR,  THE  PARASITE  REBTJITED.  247 

no  person  but  ourselves,  this  day.  Eating  alone1,  let's  wait 
upon  ourselves. 

Sag.  This  banquet,  for  our  means,  is  quite  sufficient,  with 
its  nuts,  beans,  figs3,  a  dish  of  olives,  pounded  lupines,  and  a 
cake. 

Stich.  It  better  becomes  a  man  who  is  a  slave  to  bring 
his  expenses  within  moderation  than  beyond.  Each  one  to 
his  own  station ;  they,  who  have  wealth  at  home,  drink  from 
cups,  goblets,  and  bowls ;  we,  if  we  are  now  drinking  from 
our  Samian  jug3,  still  build  our  walls  according  to  our 
means. 

Sag.  But  while  she  who  is  your  mistress  and  mine  is 
arranging  her  hair,  and  bedecking  herself,  I  wish  us  to  have 
some  diversion  among  ourselves.  I  appoint  you  the  com- 
mander4 of  this  feast. 

Stich.  Very  aptly  does  it  suggest  itself  to  your  mind. 

Sag.  "Wouldn't  we  be  more  suitably  entertained  like 
Cynics5  on  benches  here,  than  upon  couches  ? 

Stich.  Aye,  but  this  is  far  the  most  pleasant. 

Sag.  On  which  side  is  each  of  us  to  recline  by  our  mis  • 
tress  ? 

Stich.  Of  course  you  go  to  the  upper  place.  And,  so 
that  you  may  understand  it,  I  make  a  division  with  you  on 
these  terms :  consider,  and  take  which  province  you  would 
even  like  now  to  take.    {They  take  their  places.) 

1  Eating  alone) — Ver.  689.  Monotrophi.  From  the  Greek  word  fiovorpotyol, 
"  eaters  alone." 

2  Ntits,  beans,  Jigs) — Ver.  690.  These  articles  formed  the  usual  food  of  the  Ro- 
man slaves. 

3  Samian  jug) — Ver.  694.  A  plain  earthenware  goblet,  or  cup.  Reference  has 
been  already  made  to  the  Samian  pottery.  The  Proverb  in  this  line  is  similar  to 
ours,  of  each  "  cutting  his  cloth  according  to  his  measure." 

*  The  commander)— Ver.  697.  "  Strategum."  This  is  a  Greek  word,  signi- 
fying the  commander  of  an  army.  It  was  usual  with  the  Greeks,  Romans, 
and  Jews,  to  appoint  a  master  of  the  feast,  who  probably  gave  the  toasts,  looked  to 
the  comforts  of  the  guests,  and  took  care  that  the  quality  of  the  wine  was  satis- 
factory.    See  the  second  Chapter  of  St.  John,  v.  8. 

s  Entertained  like  Cynics)— Ver.  699.  The  absurdities  consequent  on  the  unity 
of  place  in  the  Roman  Comedy  could  not  possibly  be  better  illustrated  than  in  the 
present  instance.  The  servants  not  only  carouse  in  front  of  their  master's  house, 
but  absolutely  bring  out  couches  to  recline  upon.  Persons  of  rigid  manners, 
and  especially  the  Cynic  philosophers,  persisted  in  retaining  the  old  posture  of 
sitting  at  meals ;   to  that  circumstance  reference  is  here  made. 


248  stichus  ;  Act  Y. 

Sag    But  what's  your  meaning  about  this  "  province  P" 

Stich.  Whether  you  would  choose  to  hold  the  command 
over  the  water  or  over  Bacchus. 

Sag.  Over  Bacchus,  most  distinctly.  But,  in  the  mean- 
time, general  of  ours,  why  stands  this  goblet  here?  See 
how  many  cups1  we  have  drunk. 

Stich.  As  many  as  there  are  fingers  on  your  hand.  The 
Greek  song  is,  "  Drink  either  your  five  cups  a  or  your  three, 
but  not  your  four." 

Sag.  {about  to  drink).  I  pledge  you.  Do  you  take  for 
yourself  the  tenth  part  from  the  fountain3,  if  you  are  wise. 
Here's  luck  to  you,  luck  to  us ;  here's  luck  to  thee,  luck 
to  me ;  luck  to  our  Stephanium  as  well. 

Stich.  'Tis  bravely  done.  I  pledge  you  in  a  goblet.  {Brinks.) 

Sag.  Keep  your  wine ;  I'd  very  much  like  something  by 
way  of  a  relish4. 

Stich.  If  you  are  not  satisfied  with  what's  here,  there's 
nothing  else.     Take  some  water5. 

1  How  many  cups) — Ver.  706.  "  Cyathos."  The  "  cyathus"  was  a  cup  which 
contained  a  fixed  and  definite  measure.  It  contained  but  a  small  quantity,  one- 
twelfth  part  of  a  "  sextarius,"  which  was  not  quite  an  English  pint.  It  seems 
most  probable  that  the  "  cyathus"  was  used  for  the  purpose  of  ladling  the  wine 
out  of  the  bowl,  or  "  cratera,"  in  which  it  was  mixed  with  water,  into  the 
goblets  or  cups.  The  question  of  Sagarinus  here  seems  to  apply  to  the  number 
of  "  cyathi  "  of  the  pure  wine  which  they  had  been  drinking  at  each  goblet-full 
that  they  took,  as  otherwise  they  would  be  making  but  slow  inroads  on  the 
"cadus,"five  "cyathi"  holding,  perhaps,  about  as  much  as  three  of  our  ordi- 
nary wine-glasses.     It  is  not  improbable  that  a  portion  of  the  Play  is  lost  here. 

2  Either  your  five  cups,  tfc.) — Ver.  707.  These  words  are  in  Greek.  Eustathius 
and  Athenaeus  say  that  this  Greek  song  bears  reference  to  the  proportions  of 
water  that  should  be  mixed  witli  the  wine.  It  seems,  however,  here  to  mean 
that  there's  "  luck  in  odd  numbers"  when  you  are  drinking. 

3  From  the  fountain) — Ver.  708.  The  "  fons"  in  this  case  was  probably  a 
pitcher  of  water  which  they  had  on  the  table.  Sagarinus  seems  to  recommend 
him,  in  mixing,  only  to  take  one-tenth  part  of  water.  Sober  people  generally 
mixed  in  the  proportion  of  three-fifths  water  and  two-fifths  wine. 

*  By  way  of  a  relish) — Ver.  711.  By  "  pulpamentum"  Sagarinus  seems  to 
mean  some  dainty,  by  way  of  a  relish ;  at  least,  Stichus  so  understands  him,  as 
he  points  to  the  nuts,  beans,  figs,  lupines,  and  olives  on  the  table,  and  tells  him 
that  he  will  get  nothing  t-ise. 

5  Take  some  water) — Ver.  712.  He  probably  tells  him  to  take  some  water  if 
he  feels  queer,  or,  in  our  vernacular,  "seedy,"  from  taking  too  much  wine ;  which 
he  has  some  reason  to  suppose,  from  the  other  calling  for  a  "  pulpamentum." 
Anchovy  toast  is  an  item  of  our  favorite  "  pulpamenta." 


3C.  IV  OE,  THE  PAEASITE  REBUFFED.  240 

Sag-  You  say  right ;  I  care  for  no  dainties.  Drink  away, 
Piper1 ;  drink,  if  you  do  drink.  I'  faith,  this  must  ba 
drunk — don't  shirk  it.  (Holds  the  goblet  to  the  Piper.) 
Why  flinch  at  what  you  see  must  be  done  by  you  ?  Why 
don't  you  drink  ?  Do  it,  if  you  are  to  do  it.  Take  it,  I 
tell  you,  for  the  public  pays  for  this.  That's  not  your  way 
to  shirk  your  drink.  Take  your  pipes2  out  of  your  mouth. 
(The  Piper  drinks.) 

Stich.  When  he  has  drunk,  either  do  you  mind  my 
rules3,  or  else  I'll  give  up.  I  don't  wish  us  to  drink 
this  straight  out ;  we  shall  soon  be  about  nothing4 ;  for, 
by  my  faith,  almost  all  in  a  moment,  the  cask  might  be 
turned  head  downwards5. 

Sag.  (to  the  Piper).  How  now?  Although  you  did  make 
a  fuss  about  it,  still  it  didn't  hurt  you.  Come,  Piper,  when 
you've  done  drinking,  put  back  your  pipes  to  your  lips ; 
quickly  puff  out  your  cheeks,  just  like  a  reptile  serpent6. 
Come  now,  Stichus,  whichever  of  the  two  breaks  order,  shall 
be  fined  a  cup. 

Stich.  Tou  propose  a  good  regulation.  Tou  ought  to 
have  your  way,  who  only  ask  what's  fair. 

1  Drink  away,  Piper) — Ver.  713.  He  thinks  that  the  Piper  is  inclined  to  shirk 
his  goblet,  and  to  show  that  he  himself  is  not  flagging  in  spirit,  tries  to  keep  him 
up  to  the  mark. 

2  Take  your  pipes) — Ver.  716.  The  "  Tibicines,"  "Pipers"  or  "flute-players," 
among  the  Greeks  and  Romans,  were  in  the  habit  of  playing  upon  two  pipes  at  the 
same  time.  These  were  perfectly  distinct,  and  were  not  even,  as  has  been  supposed 
by  some,  connected  by  a  common  mouth-piece.  The  Romans  were  particularly  fonr1 
of  this  music,  and  it  was  introduced  both  at  sacrifices,  funerals,  and  entertair.- 
ments.  See  a  comical  story  about  the  Roman  "  Tibicines"  in  the  Fasti  of  Ovid, 
B.  6,  1.  670  et  seq.  From  the  present  specimen  they  appear  to  have  been  merry 
souls,  occupying  much  the  same  place  as  the  country  fiddlers  of  modern  times. 

3  Mind  my  rules)-^-Ver.  717.  It  is  pretty  clear,  that  in  his  zeal,  and  to  show 
that  there  is  no  flagging  in  him,  Sagarinus  has  been  overdoing  it,  perhaps  helping 
himself  out  of  his  turn ;  on  this,  the  other  threatens  to  resign  his  office  of  master 
of  the  ceremonies. 

4  Soon  be  about  nothing') — Ver.  718.  "  Nulli  rei  erimus  postea."  This  is  the 
proper  reading,  which  has  been  restored  by  the  research  of  Ritschel.  It  is  diffi- 
cult to  say  precisely  what  he  alludes  to,  but  most  probably  he  means,  "at  this 
rate  our  supply  will  soon  be  exhausted." 

5  Turned  head  downwards) — Ver.  719.  He  says  that  the  "cadus,"  or  earthen- 
ware cask,  will  soon  at  this  rate  be  capable  of  being  turned  upside  down  without 
any  risk  of  spilling  the  wine 

6  A  reptile  serpent)— Ver.  722.  The  head  of  the  serpent  is  said  to  swell,  or  pufl 
cut,  when  it  is  infuriated. 


250  sticiius  ;  Act  V 

Sag.  Mind  it  then ;  if  you  offend,  I'll  forthwith  take  the 
forfeit  on  the  spot. 

Stich.  You  ask  what's  quite  right  and  just. 

Sag.  {pledging  Stichtts).  Here's  to  you  first  of  all. 

Stich.  'Tis  a  droll  thing  this,  for  two  persons,  rivals  of 
each  other,  to  be  courting,  to  be  drinking  from  one  goblet, 
and  to  be  kissing  one  wench.  'Tis  worthy  of  remark  this : 
I  am  you,  you  are  I ;  of  one  accord  are  we.  "With  one 
mistress  are  we  both  in  love  ;  when  she's  with  me,  still  she's 
with  you  ;  and  when  she's  with  you,  she's  with  me  as  well ; 
neither  of  us  envies  the  other. 

Sag.  Come,  come,  there's  enough  of  it ;  I  don't  want  it 
overdone  to  weariness.     I'd  now  like  some  other  sport. 

Stich.  Drink  on,  if  you  are  drinking. 

Sag.  There  shall  be  no  skulking  in  me.  But,  troth,  I've 
had  enough  of  the  feast ;  would  but  our  mistress  come 
here.     If  she  were  here,  nothing  else  would  be  away. 

Stich.  Should  you  like  us  to  invite  our  mistress  out  ? 
She  shall  give  us  a  dance. 

Sag.  I  agree.  Stich.  {calling  aloud).  My  sweet  one,  my 
lovely  one,  my  pleasing  one,  Stephanium,  do  come  out  of 
doors  to  your  sweethearts ;  to  me  you  are  quite  charming. 

Sag.  But  to  me,  indeed,  most  charming. 

Stich.  Make  us  jovial  fellows  more  jovial  by  your  assist- 
ance and  your  company.  Eeturning  from  abroad,  we  want 
you,  dear  little  Stephanium,  my  honey,  that  is,  if  our  loting- 
ness  is  pleasing  to  you,  if  we  are  acceptable  to  you. 

Scene  Y. 
Enter  Stephanium,  from  the  house  o/*Pamphilus. 

Steph.  I'll  indulge  you,  my  dears;  but,  so  may  pretty 
Yenus  favour  me,  I  should  have  already  come  out  of  doors 
here  together  with  you,  had  I  not  been  sprucing  myself  up 
for  you.  For  such  is  the  way  of  woman,  when  she  is  well 
washed,  made  clean,  dressed  and  tricked  out,  still  is  she 
incomplete  ;  and  a  female  who  is  a  courtesan  much  more 
quickly  acquires  dislike  for  herself  by  sluttishness  than 
always  keeps  in  favour  through  neatness. 

Stich.  That's  very  cleverly  said.  Sag.  'Tis  the  genuine 
language  of  Yenus. 

Stich.  Sagarinus.     Sag.  "What's  the  matter  ? 


Se.  V.  OK,  THE  PARASITE  REBUFFED.  251 

Stich.  I'm  in  pain  all  over.  Sag.  All  over?  So  much 
the  more  unfortunate  you. 

Steph.  Where  do  I  take  my  place  ? 

Sag.  Wherever  you  please.  Steph.  I'd  like  with  both  of 
you,  for  I  love  you  both. 

Stich.  Whack  go  my  savings1.  I'm  done  for ;  freedom  has 
abandoned  this  person  of  mine. 

Steph.  Prithee,  do  give  me  room,  where  I  may  take  my 
place,  if,  indeed,  I  am  agreable.  (She  takes  her  place.)  Now 
I  do  long  to  be  cozy  with  you  both. 

Stich.  I'm  ruined  utterly.     What  were  you  saying  ? 

Sag.  Heyday  !  What's  the  matter  ?  Stich.  So  may  the 
Gods  favour  me,  it  never  shall  be  otherwise  this  day  but  that 
this  girl  shall  have  a  dance  somehow.  Come,  my  love,  my 
sweet,  do  dance  ;  I'll  dance  too.     (They  rise  and  dance.) 

Sag.  I'  faith,  you  shan't  that  way  get  the  better  of  me, 
I  but  what  I'll  have  a  bit  of  enjoyment,  too,  that  way. 

Steph.  Well,  if  I  must  dance,  do  you  then  give  the  Piper 
I  something  to  drink. 

Stich.  Aye,  and  to  me.      Sag.  (holds  the  goblet  to  the 

I  Piper).  Piper,  you  take  first:  and  after  that,  if  you  tipple 
ji  this  off,  just  as  has  been  your  wont  before  to-day,  straight- 

II  way  strike  up  some  merry  and  amorous  tune  to  dance  to, 
\  by  which  we  may  tingle  all  over  from  our  very  finger  nails. 
V  Pour  some  water  here.  Take  this,  you  ;  toss  it  off.  The  drink 
!  didn't  please  him  just  now  ;  now  at  last  he  takes  it  with  less 
J  difficulty.     Take  it,  you.    (To  Stephanittm.)  In  the  mean- 

Itime,  apple  of  my  eye,  give  me  a  kiss  while  he's  drinking. 

Steph.  Why,  it's  the  way  of  a  common  strumpet,  for  a 
I  damsel  to  give  a  kiss  standing  to  her  sweetheart  as  he 
j  stands.     (She  turns  away,  while  he  tries  to  kiss  her.) 

Stich.  Bravo !  bravo  !  that's  the  way  it's  given  to  a  thief2. 

Sag.  Come,  blow  out  your  cheeks  now ;  something  in  the 

1  Whack  go  my  savings) — Ver.  751.  It  would  appear  at  first  sight,  that  he  has 
some  compunctions,  and  intends  to  say,  "  this  feast  will  prove  so  expensive  that  all 
my  savings  (peculium)  will  be  wasted,  and  I  shall  never  be  able  to  buy  my  free- 
dom." There  can  be  little  doubt,  however,  that  an  indelicate  pun  is  intended  to 
be  concealed  under  the  expression,  "  vapulat  peculium."' 

2  Given  to  a  thief) — Ver.  766.  She  turns  away  with  affected  modesty  from  Saga- 
rinus,  who  only  manages  "  to  steal"  a  kis3.  His  rival  is  pleased  at  this,  and  criei 
out  that  she  only  gives  it  to  him  as  if  he  was  stealing  itt. 


252  stichus.  Act  \\,  Sc.  V. 

amorous  way1  at  once.  Give  us  a  new  tune  in  return  for  the 
old  wine.  "What  person  in  the  Ionian2  or  the  ballet  line  is 
there  that  can  do  anything  like  that  ?    (He  capers  about.) 

Stich.  If  you  get  the  better  of  me  this  turn.5,  just  challenge 
me  to  another. 

Sag.  Just  you  do  it  in  this  fashion.     (Capers.) 

Stich.  And  you  in  this  fashion.  (Capers  too.)  Sag.  0 
grand4 ! 

Stich.  O  fine !     Sag.  O  wonderful ! 

Stich.  Quiet5 !  Sag.  Now,  then,  both  in  the  same  step. 
(They  dance  quietly,  in  the  same  measured)  I  challenge  all 
the  dancing-masters  to  dance  against  me.  'Tis  no  more  pos- 
sible for  there  to  be  enough  of  this  for  us  than  for  there  to 
be  too  much  rain  for  a  mushroom. 

Stich.  (ceasing  to  dance).  Let's  away  hence  in-doors  at 
once  now ;  we've  danced  long  enough  for  the  wine6.  You, 
Spectators,  give  us  your  applause,  and  then  go  home  to  enjoy 
yourselves. 

1  In  the  amorous  way) — Ver.  767.  It  is  difficult  to  say  what  was  the  exact  dif- 
ference between  the  "  lepida"  and  the  "  suavis  cantio."  The  first  was,  perhaps,  a 
"  merry,"  and  the  other  an  "  amorous  "  tune. 

2  In  the  Ionian) — Ver.  769.  The  Ionian  mode  of  dancing  was  graceful  and  volup 
tuous.  The  Sicilians  had  a  dance  of  this  nature  in  honor  of  Diana,  which  thef 
called  "  the  Ionic  dance." 

3  This  turn) — Ver.  770.  It  is  difficult  to  say  what  is  the  exact  meaning  of 
"  vorsus"or  "versus"  here.  Possibly,  it  was  the  name  of  some  particular  dance, 
or  it  may  have  merely  meant  a  "  turn"  or  "  round,"  or  as  we  say,  "  a  set,"  in 
dancing.  Again,  it  may  possibly  mean  some  curious  posture,  in  which  Sagarinus 
was  skilled,  and  in  assuming  which  Stichus  could  not  cope  with  him.  Gesture 
and  grimace  formed  the  main  features  of  the  dance  with  the  Romans. 

4  0  grand!) — Ver.  770.  "  Babas,"  "  Tata?,"  and  "  Papae,"  are  Jnerely  exclama- 
tions of  the  dancers,  while  inspired  with  the  spirit  of  the  dance ;  not  unlike  the 
shrieks  and  noises  which  are  frequently  made  by  the  dancers  of  our  times,  at  fairf 
and  other  places  of  public  resort,  where  uproarious  enjoyment  takes  the  place  of 
sobriety,  and,  not  unfrequently,  of  common  decency. 

5  Quiet  /) — Ver.  771.  "  Pax."  This  was  the  ordinary  expression  used  to  sig- 
nify a  pause — "  Stop.'' 

•  Long  enough  for  the  wine)— Ver.  774.  Ther  have  fairly  danced  the  wine 
out. 


PSEUDOLUS:   OR,   THE   CHEAT, 


Bramatis  persona?. 

Simo,  an  old  gentleman  of  Athens. 

Calidorus,  his  son,  in  love  with  Phoenicium. 

Charixus,  the  friend  of  Calidorus. 

Callipho,  the  friend  of  Simo. 

Pseu  dolus,  the  servant  of  Simo. 

Ballio,  a  procurer,  the  owner  of  Pboenicium. 

Harpax,  the  servant  of  Polymachrcroplagides. 

Simmia,  the  Cheat,  a  servant  of  Charinus. 

A  Cook. 

A  Boy,  servant  of  Ballio. 

Phosnicium  [mute],   beloved  by  Calidorur. 

Slaves  of  Ballio. 

Scene.— Athens.    The  house  of  Ballio  is  on  one  side  of  the  Street  twl 
Simo  on  the  otner. 


THE  SUBJECT. 


Calidorus,  a  young  Athenian,  the  son  of  Simo,  is  in  love  with  Phceniehim,  a 
young  woman  who  belongs  to  Ballio,  a  procurer.  A  bargain  has  been  made  by 
the  procurer,  to  sell  her  to  a  military  officer  for  twenty  minaa ;  fifteen  of  these  have 
been  paid  down,  and  it  has  been  agreed  that  when  the  remaining  five  and  a 
certain  token,  with  a  letter,  shall  have  been  sent  by  the  Captain,  the  damsel  shall 
be  sent  to  him  in  return.  Pseudolus,  the  servant  of  Simo,  promises  his  master's 
son,  that,  if  possible,  he  will  prevent  this.  They  first  address  Ballio  on  the 
subject;  but  their  attempts  to  influence  him  are  all  in  vain.  Pseudolus  then 
devises  a  plan  to  get  some  money  out  of  Simo,  by  whom,  however,  it  is  dis- 
covered ;  but,  after  having  acknowledged  his  fault,  he  prevails  upon  the  old 
gentleman  to  promise  him  twenty  minae  if  he  shall  contrive  to  get  the  girl 
out  of  the  procurer's  hands.  Harpax,  the  messenger  from  the  Captain,  in 
the  meantime  makes  his  appearance.  Being  a  stranger  to  the  place,  he  un- 
wittingly delivers  the  Captain's  letter  and  the  token  to  Pseudolus,  who  pretends 
that  he  is  the  head-servant  of  the  procurer.  Charinus,  the  friend  of  Calidorus, 
lends  him  five  minae ;  and,  provided  with  this,  Pseudolus  equips  Simmia,  a  servant 
of  Charinus,  so  as  to  represent  the  messenger  from  the  Captain.  He  finds  the 
procurer,  delivers  the  letter,  pays  the  five  minas,  and  carries  off  the  damsel. 
Ba'Aio  then  makes  a  bet  of  twenty  minae  with  Simo,  that  Pseudolus  shall  not 
outwit  him  that  day.  The  real  Harpax  now  applies  to  Ballio  for  the  girl,  and 
the  trick  being  discovered,  the  procurer  has  to  pay  back  the  fifteen  minae  to  the 
Captain,  and  the  twenty  for  the  bet  which  he  has  made  with  Simo.  Simo  then 
pays  the  twenty  minae,  which  he  has  promised  to  Pseudolus  if  he  should  suc- 
ceed in  outwitting  the  procurer.  Pseudolus  is  handsomely  entertained  by 
Calidorus,  and  engages  to  return  to  Simo  one-half  of  the  money,  if  he  wil 
join  the  entertainment. 


PSEUDOLUS;  OR,  THE  CHEAT. 


THE  ACROSTIC  ARGUMENT. 
[Supposed  to  have  been  written  by  Priscian  the  Grammarian.] 

An  officer  pays  down  fifteen  minas,  ready  money  (ZVeeserates) ;  as  a  token  he 
also  (Sinra?)  gives  an  impression  of  his  seal,  that  the  procurer  may  deliver 
Phoenicium  to  him  (Ei),  who  brings  it  with  the  rest  of  the  money.  Pseudolus 
intercepts  his  camp-servant  coming  (Venientem)  with  the  token,  saying 
(Dicens),  that  he  is  Syrus,  the  servant  of  Ballio,  and  thus  he  gives  his  aid 
(Opem)  to  his  master;  for  the  procurer  (Leno)  delivers  up  the  damsel  to 
Simmia,  whom  he  has  substituted.  The  real  Harpax  comes  (Fern/);  the 
matter  is  all  discovered,  and  the  old  man  (JSenex)  pays  the  money  which  he 
has  agreed  to  give. 


THE    PKOLOGrUE1. 

Attend  to  me  this  day ;  good  things  I  bring  upon  the 
stage  ;  for  I  think  'tis  very  just  that  to  the  good  good  things 
should  be  brought ;  as  likewise  bad  things  to  the  bad ;  that 
those  who  are  bad  may  have  what's  bad,  those  who  are  good 
what's  good ;  bad  men  are  bad  because  they  hate  the  good ; 
because  the  good  contemn  the  bad,  needs  must  be  that  they 
are  good ;  and  therefore,  you  are  good  since  you  have  ever 
abhorred  the  bad  ;  and  both  by  your  laws,  Quirites,  and  by 
your  legions,  have  you  routed  them  with  good  success.  In 
like  manner  now  do  jou  give  your  goodly  attention  to  this 
goodly  company,  which  is  a  good  one,  and  to  good  people 

1  The  Prologue)  It  is  generally  supposed  that  this  Prologue,  with  the  excep- 
tion of  the  last  two  lines,  was  not  written  by  Plautus  it  is,  however,  of  gres  t  an- 
nuity, and  is  found  in  most  of  the  MSS. 


256  rsi<:u dolus;  Act  T. 

brings  this  day  good  things.  Ears,  eyes,  and  understanding, 
shall  be  amply  filled.  He  that  comes  hungry  or  thirsty  to 
the  theatre,  the  same  shall  carefully  give  his  attention  both 
through  laughter  and  a  sharpened  stomach  ;  while  those  who 
are  full  will  laugh,  the  hungry  will  be  carping.  Now,  if  you 
are  wise,  you  hungry  ones,  give  place,  and  go  away ;  you  who 
are  full,  stand — aye,  sit  you  down,  and  give  attention.  I 
shall  not  now  divulge  the  plot,  nor  yet  the  name  of  this 
play — Pseudolus  will  fully  do  that.  I  imagine  then  and  I 
think  that  this  is  enough  which  I  have  said  to  you.  Where 
mirth,  jokes,  laughter,  wine,  and  jollity,  are  the  order  of  the 
day,  the  Graces,  too,  and  propriety,  joyousness,  and  delight ; 
ne  who  seeks  for  other  things,  that  person  appears  to  seek 
for  evil.  Away,  then,  with  evil  cares,  as  being  men  at  your 
ease  this  day.  'Tis  better  for  your  loins  to  be  stretched1, 
and  for  you  to  arise.  A  long  play  of  Plautus  is  coming  upon 
the  stage. 


Act  I. — Scene  I. 

Enter  Calidokus  and  Pseudolus  from  Simo's  house. 

Pseud.  If,  master,  by  your  being  silent,  I  could  be  in- 
formed what  miseries  are  afflicting  you  so  sadly,  I  would 
willingly  have  spared  the  trouble  of  two  persons — of  myself  in 
asking  you,  and  of  yourself  in  answering  me.  Since,  however, 
that  cannot  be,  necessity  compels  me  to  enquire  of  you. 
Answer  me :  "What's  the  reason  that,  out  of  spirits  for  these 
many  days  past,  you've  been  carrying  a  letter  about  with 
you,  washing  it  with  you$»  tears,  and  making  no  person 
the  sharer  of  your  purpose  ?  Speak  out,  that  what  I  am 
ignorant  of,  I  may  know  together  with  yourself. 

Cal.  I  am  wretchedly  miserable,  Pseudolus. 

Pseud.  May  Jupiter  forbid  it !  Cal.  This  belongs  not 
at  all  to  the  arbitration  of  Jupiter ;  under  the  sway  of  Venus2 
am  I  harassed,  not  under  that  of  Jove. 

1  Loins  to  be  stretched) — Ver.  14.  In  the  sitting  position,  the  muscles  of  the 
loins  are  contracted ;  hence  the  present  expression. 

2  Under  the  sway  of  Venus) — Ver.  15.  The  youth  of  both  sexes,  from  the  tenth 
to  the  eighteenth  year,  were  supposed  to  be  under  the  dominion  of  Venus,  to  whom 
they  offered  their  clothes  dolls,  and  toys,  on  arriving  at  puberty. 


So.  I.  OR,  THE  CHEAT.  257 

Pseud.  Is  it  allowable  for  me  to  know  what  it  is  ?  For 
hitherto  you  have  had  me  as  chief  confidant  in  your  plans. 

Cal.  The  same  is  now  my  intention. 

Pseud.  Let  me  know  then  what's  the  matter  with  you. 
I'll  aid  you  either  with  resources,  or  with  my  efforts,  or 
with  good  counsel. 

Cal.  Do  you  take  this  letter:  do  you  thence  inform 
yourself  what  misery  and  what  care  are  wasting  me  away. 

Pseud,  {taking  the  letter).  Compliance  shall  be  given  you. 
But,  prithee,  how's  this  ? 

Cal.  What's  the  matter?  Pseud.  As  I  think,  these  letters 
are  very  loving ;  they  are  climbing  on  each  other's  backs. 

Cal.  Are  you  making  sport  of  me  with  your  foolery  ? 

Pseud.  I'  faith,  I  really  do  believe  that  unless  the  Sibyl1 
can  read  them,  nobody  else  can  possibly  interpret  them. 

Cal.  Why  speak  you  unkindly  of  those  sweet  letters — 
sweet  tablets  too,  written  upon  by  a  hand  as  sweet. 

Pseud.  Troth  now,  have  hens,  prithee,  such  hands  ?  For 
certainly  a  hen  has  written  these  letters. 

Cal.  You  are  annoying  me.  Either  read  it  or  return 
the  letter. 

Pseud.  Very  well  then,  I'll  read  it  through.  Give  me 
your  attention. 

Cal.  That's  not  here.     Pseud.  Do  you  summon  it  then. 

Cal.  Well,  I'll  be  silent;  do  you  summon  it  from  that 
wax  there2;  for  there  my  attention  is  at  present,  not  in  my 
breast. 

Pseud.  I  see  your  mistress,  Calidorus.  Cal.  Where  is 
she,  prithee  ? 

Pseud.  See,  here  she  is  at  full  length  in  the  letter;  she's 
lying  upon  the  wax. 

Cal.  Now,  may  the  Gods  and  Goddesses,  inasmuch s 

Pseud.  Preserve  me  from  harm,  to  wit. 

1  Unless  the  Sibyl)— Ver.  25.  The  Sib^l,  being  gifted  with  prophecy,  might 
know  the  meaning  of  that  which  could  not  be  read.  The  23rd  line  has  been 
somewhat  modified  in  the  translation. 

-  From  that  wax  there) — Ver.  33.  Allusion  is  here  made  to  the  wax  with  which 
the  surface  of  the  tablet  was  covered,  and  on  which  the  writing  was  traced  with 
the  iron  "  stylus." 

3  Inasmuch) — Ver.  37.  He  is  going  to  say,  "  may  the  Divinities  confound  you  ;" 
which  anathema  Pseudolus adroitly  turns  aside,  and  refrains  from  further  provok- 
ing his  master. 

6 


258  PSEUDOLUS  ;  Act  I, 

Cal.  For  a  short  season  have  I  been  like  a  summer  plant1 ; 
suddenly  have  I  sprung  up,  suddenly  have  I  withered. 

Pseud.  Be  silent,  while  I  read  the  letter  through. 

Cal.  Why  don't  you  read  it  then  ? 

Pseud,  (reading).  "  Phoenicium  to  her  lover,  Calidoru^,  by 
means  of  wax  and  string  and  letters,  her  exponents,  sends 
health,  and  safety  does  she  beg2  of  you,  weeping,  and  with 
palpitating  feelings,  heart,  and  breast." 

Cal.  I'm  undone ;  I  nowhere  find,  Pseudolus,  this  safety 
for  me  to  send  her  back. 

Pseud.  "What  safety  ?     Cal.  A  silver  one. 

Pseud.  And  do  you  wish  to  send  her  back  a  silver  safety 
for  one  on  wood3  ?     Consider  what  you're  about. 

Cal.  Read  on  now ;  I'll  soon  cause  you  to  know  from 
the  letter  how  suddenly  there's  need  for  me  for  one  of  silver 
to  be  found. 

Pseud,  (reading  on).  "  The  procurer  has  sold  me,  my  love, 
for  twenty  minae,  to  a  Macedonian  officer  from  abroad.,  Be- 
fore he  departed  hence,  the  Captain  paid  him  fifteen  minae : 
only  five  minae  now  are  remaining  unpaid.  On  that  account 
the  Captain  left  here  a  token — his  own  likeness  impressed 
on  wax  by  his  ring — that  he  who  should  bring  hither  a  token 
like  to  that,  together  with  him  the  procurer  might  send  me. 
The  next  day  hence,  on  the  Festival  of  Bacchus4,  is  the  one 
fixed  for  this  matter." 

Cal.  Well,  that's  to-morrow ;  my  ruin  is  near  at  hand, 
unless  I  have  some  help  in  you. 

Pseud.  Let  me  read  it  through.  Cal.  I  permit  you  ;  for 
I  seem  to   myself  to   be   talking  to   her.     Eead  on;  the 

1  Like  a  summer  plant) — Ver.  38.  Some  Commentators  think  that  Plautus 
refers  to  some  imaginary  plant,  which  was  supposed  to  grow  up  and  wither  on 
the  day  of  the  summer  Solstice.  It  seems,  however,  more  probable  that  he  only 
refers  to  the  short  existence  of  summer  flowers  in  general. 

-  Safety  does  she  beg)— Ver.  43.  The  writer  plays  upon  the  different  meanings 
of  the  word  "  salus."  She  sends  you  "  salus,"  "  greeting"  or  "  salutation,"  and 
requests  you  to  find  her  "  salus,"  "  safety"  or  "  rescue,"  in  return. 

3  For  one  on  wood) — Ver.  47.  Meaning,  in  return  for  her  "  salus,"  or  "  saluta- 
tion," upon  the  wooden  tablet,  is  it  your  wish  to  send  her  "  salus,"  "  safety," 
procured  through  the  medium  of  money,  by  effecting  her  liberation. 

*  Festival  of  Bacchus) — Ver.  59.  "  Dionysia."  There  were  several  festivals  of 
Bacchus  at  Athens.  They  were  called  "Dionysia"  from  Dionysus,  the  Greek 
name  of  that  God. 


Sc.  I.  OB,  THE  CHEAT.  259 

sweet  and  the  bitter  are  you  now  mingling  together  for 
me. 

Pseud,  {reading  on).  "  Now  our  loves,  our  tenderness,  our 
intimacy,  our  mirth,  our  dalliance,  our  talking,  our  sweet 
kisses,  the  close  embrace  of  us  lovers  equally  fond,  the  soft, 
dear  kisses  impressed  on  our  tender  lips,  the  delicious  pressing 
of  the  swelling  bosom  ;  of  all  these  delights,  I  say,  for  me  and 
for  you  as  well,  the  severance,  the  destruction,  and  the  downfal 
is  at  hand,  unless  there  is  some  rescue  for  me  in  you  or  for  you 
in  me.  I  have  taken  care  that  you  should  know  all  these 
things  that  I  have  written ;  now  shall  I  make  trial  how  far 
you  love  me,  and  how  far  you  pretend  to  do  so." 

Cal.  'Tis  written,  Pseudolus,  in  wretchedness. 

Pseud.  Alas !  very  wretchedly1.  Cal.  Why  don't  you 
weep,  then  ? 

Pseud.  I've  eyes  of  pumice  stone2 ;  I  can't  prevail  upon 
them  to  squeeze  out  one  tear  even. 

Cal.  Why  so?  Pseud.  My  family  was  always  a  dry- 
eyed  one. 

Cal.  Won't  you  attempt  to  assist  me  at  all  ? 

Pseud.  What  shall  I  do  for  you  ? 

Cal.  Alas !  Pseud.  Alas !  do  you  say  ?  Well,  don't  be 
sparing  of  them,  i'  faith  ;  I'll  give  you  plenty. 

Cal.  I'm  distracted.  I  nowhere  can  find  any  money  to 
borrow. 

Pseud.  Alas!  Cal.  Nor  is  there  a  single  coin  in  the 
house. 

Pseud.  Alas !  Cal.  He's  going  to  carry  the  damsel  away 
to-morrow. 

Pseud.  Alas !  Cal.  Is  it  in  that  fashion  that  you  help 
me? 

Pseud.  I  give  you  that  which  I  have ;  for  I've  a  per- 
petual supply  of  those  treasures3  in  my  house. 

Cal.  It's  all  over  with  me  this  very  day.   But  can  you  now 

1  Very  wretchedly') — Ver.  74.  Pseudolus  probably  intends  to  allude  to  the  bad. 
hand  in  which  the  letter  seems  tc  have  been  written,  while  his  master  refers  to  the 
sorrowful  tone  of  the  epistle. 

2  Of  pumice  stone) — Ver.  75.  That  is,  "  as  dry  as  pu-pice  stone." 

3  Supply  of  those  treasures) — Ver.  84.  Of  "  Eheu !"  "  Alas !"  or  "  Oh  dear 
me !"  This  he  repeats  so  frequently,  because  his  master  has  reproached  him  i« 
not  weeping  in  sympathy  with  him  for  the  calamities  of  Phoenicium, 

s2 


2G0  pseudolus  ;  Act  1. 

lend  me  one  drachma,  which  I'll  pay  you  back  to-mor- 
row ? 

Pseud.  I'  faith,  I  hardly  think  I  could,  even  though  1 
should  pawn  myself  for  it.  But  what  do  you  want  to  do 
■with  this  drachma  ? 

Cal.  I  want  to  purchase  a  halter  for  myself. 

Pseud.  For  what  reason  ?  Cal.  With  which  to  hang  my- 
self. I'm  determined,  ere  'tis  dark,  to  take1  a  leap  in  the 
dark. 

Pseud.  "Who  then  shall  pay  me  back  my  drachma  *  * 
*  *  ?  Do  you  wish  purposely  to  hang  yourself  for 
the  very  reason,  that  you  may  cheat  me  out  of  my  drachma 
if  I  lend  it  you  ? 

Cal.  At  all  events,  I  can  in  nowise  survive  if  she's  re- 
moved and  carried  off  from  me. 

Pseud.  Why  do  you  weep,yow  cuckoo2  ?   You  shall  survive. 

Cal.  Why  should  I  not  weep,  who  have  neither  a  coin  of 
silver  in  ready  money,  nor  have  the  hope  of  a  groat3  any- 
where in  the  world  ? 

Pseud.  As  I  understand  the  tenor  of  this  letter,  unless 
you  weep  for  her  with  tears  of  silver,  the  affection  which  you 
wish  yourself  by  those  tears  to  prove  is  of  no  more  value  than 
if  you  were  to  pour  water  into  a  sieve.  But  have  no  fear, 
I'll  not  forsake  you  in  your  love.  In  troth,  I  do  trust  that 
this  day,  from  some  quarter  or  other,  by  my  good  aid  I 
shall  find  you  help  in  the  money  line.     But  whence  that  is 

1  EreHis  dark,  to  take) — Ver.  90.  "Ante  tenebras  tenebras  persequi."  Lite- 
rally, "  before  the  shades  to  reach  the  shades."    A  wretched  pun  is  attempted. 

2  You  cuckoo) — Ver.  96.  "  Cuculus."  "  Cuckoo"  seems  to  have  been  in  all 
ages  a  term  of  reproach.  Horace  mentions  it  as  being  applied  by  the  common 
people  to  the  vintagers  in  the  autumn.  Shakspeare,  in  the  beautiful  song  in  the 
Fifth  Act  of  Love's  Labour  Lost,  has  these  lines : 

The  cuckoo  then  on  every  tree, 

Mocks  married  men,  for  thus  sings  he. 
Cuckoo ! 

Cuckoo !  cuckoo !  0  word  of  fear, 

Unpleasing  to  a  married  ear ! 
Perhaps  the  reason  of  this  epithet  being  deemed  opprobrious,  was  the  simple  fact 
that  the  cuckoo  is  the  laziest  of  birds,  inasmuch  as  it  is  too  idle  to  build  its  own 
nest.     The  subject  is  further  referred  to  in  a  future  note 

*  Hope  of  a  groat) — Ver.  98.  "  Libella"  was  the  smallest  silver  coin  among  tin 
Romans,  the  teath  part  of  a  "  denarius." 


Sc.  I.  OR,  THE  CHEAT.  2bl 

to  come, — that  whence  I  know  not  how  to  pronounce ;  ex- 
cept only  that  so  it  shall  be ;  my  eyebrow  twitches1  to  that 
effect. 

Cal.  As  to  what  you  say,  I  trust  that  your  deeds  may  be 
as  good  as  your  words. 

Pseud.  I'  faith,  you  surely  know,  if  I  set  my  plans 
a-going2,  after  what  fashion  and  how  great  is  the  bustle  that 
I  am  in  the  habit  of  causing. 

Cal.  In  you  are  now  centred  all  the  hopes  of  my  ex- 
istence. 

Pseud.  Is  it  enough,  if  I  this  day  make  this  damsel  to  be 
yours,  or  if  I  find  you  twenty  minae  ? 

Cal.  'Tis  enough,  if  so  it  is  to  be. 

Pseud.  Ask  of  me  twenty  minse,  that  you  may  be  assured 
that  I'll  procure  for  you  that  which  I  have  promised.  Ask 
them  of  me,  by  my  troth,  prithee  do ;  I  long  to  make  the 
promise. 

Cal.  Will  you  this  day  find  me  twenty  minse  of  silver  ? 

Pseud.  I  will  find  them ;  be  no  more  troublesome  to  me 
then.  And  this  I  tell  you  first,  that  you  mayn't  deny  that 
it  was  told  you;  if  I  can  no  one  else,  I'll  diddle  your 
father  out  of  the  money. 

Cal.  So  far  asjilial  affection  is  concerned,  even  my  mother 
as  well.  May  the  Gods  always  preserve  you  for  me.  But 
what  if  you  are  not  able  ? 

Pseud.  Upon  that  matter  do  you  go  to  sleep  with  either 
eye. 

Cal.  "With  the  eye  or  with  the  ear3  ? 

Pseud.  The  latter  is  too  common  an  expression.  Now, 
that  no  one  may  affirm  that  it  wasn't  told  him,  I  tell  you 
all  (to  the  Audience),  in  the  presence  of  the  youths  in  this 
a  udience,  and  of  all  the  people,  to  all  my  friends  and  all  my 

1  My  eyebrow  twitches) — Ver.  107.  The  itching  of  the  eye,  or  the  twitching  oi 
the  eyebrows,  has  been  supposed  by  superstitious  persons  in  all  ages  to  pre- 
sage some  impending  event. 

2  Set  my  plans  a-going) — Ver.  109.  "  Mea  si  commovi  sacra."  Literally,  "  if  I 
move  my  sacred  things."  Lambinus  thinks  that  this  may  refer  to  the  sacred  tilings 
dedicated  to  Bacchus,  which  no  one  touched  without  being  punished  for  it ;  and 
even  if  Bacchus  himself  attempted  to  do,  confusion  and  disorder  was  the  conse- 
quence. 

3  Or  with  the  ear) — Ver.  124.  "  To  sleep  on  the  ear"  was  a  proverbial  saying 
borrowed  by  the  P.omms  from  the  Greeks,  to  denote  a  sense  of  complete  security 
Pseudolus  Bays  that  tie  proverb  is  too  vulgar  for  his  refined  taste. 


2G2  PSEUDOLTTS  ;  Act  I. 

acquaintances  I  give  notice,  that  for  this  day  they  must 
guard  against  me,  and  not  trust  me. 

Cal.  Hist !  be  silent,  prithee,  by  all  the  powers ! 

Pseud.  "What's  the  matter  ?  Cal.  There  was  a  noise  at 
the  procurer's  door. 

Psetjd.  I  could  only  wish  it  were  his  legs  in  preference. 

Cal.  Yes,  and  he  himself  is  coming  out  from  in-doors,  the 
perjured  scoundrel.     {They  stand  at  a  distance.) 

Scene  II. — Enter  Ballio,  with  several  Male1  and  Female 
Slaves,  from  his  house. 

Bal.  G-et  out,  come,  out  with  you,  you  rascals,  kept  at 
a  loss  and  bought  at  a  loss,  in  the  minds  of  not  one  of 
whom  aught  ever  comes  to  do  aright,  of  whom  I  can't  make 
a  bit  of  use,  unless  I  try  it  after  this  fashion.  (He  flogs  the 
men  all  round.)  At  no  time  did  I  ever  see  human  beings  more 
like  asses  ;  so  hardened  are  your  ribs  with  stripes ;  when  you 
flog  them,  you  hurt  yourself  the  most.  Of  such  a  disposition 
are  these  whipping-posts  who  follow  this  line  of  conduct ; 
when  the  opportunity  is  given,  pilfer,  purloin3,  prig,  plunder, 
drink,  eat,  and  run  away's  the  word.  This  is  their  method, 
so  that  you  would  choose  rather  to  leave  wolves  among  sheep, 
than  these  fellows  on  guard  in  your  house.  Yet,  when  you 
look  at  their  appearance,  they  don't  seem  amiss ;  by  their 
doings  they  deceive  you.  Now,  therefore,  unless  you  all- of 
you  give  your  attention  to  this  charge,  unless  you  remove 
drowsiness  and  sloth  from  your  breasts  and  eyes,  I'll  make 
your  sides  to  be  right  thoroughly  marked  with  thongs,  so 
much  so  that  not  even  Campanian  coverlets  are  coloured  as 
well,  nor  yet  Alexandrian  tapestry3  of  purple  embroidered 
with  beasts  all  over.  Even  yesterday  I  already  gave  you  all 
notice,  and  assigned  to  each  his  own  respective  employment ; 

1  Male)  These  male  slaves  in  the  text  are  called  "  lorarii."  It  was  their  pro- 
vince to  lay  the  "  lorum,"  or  whip,  about  their  fellow-slaves,  at  the  bidding  of 
their  master. 

2  Purloin)— Ver.  138.  "  Clepo,"  to  "  purloin"  or  "  prig,"  comes  from  the  Greek 
icAf7n-a>,  »« to  steal."  "  Harpago,"  to  "  rob"  or  "  plunder,"  is  from  the  Greek  verb 
apTrdyco,  of  a  similar  meaning. 

3  Alexandrian  tapestry)— Ver.  147.  We  learn  from  Pliny  the  Elder  that  the 
people  of  Alexandria  excelled  in  weaving  tapestry  of  many  threads,  which  was 
cal  ed  "  polymita."  They  excelled  both  the  Babylonians  and  Phrygians  in  de- 
picting birds,  beasts,  and  human  beings,  upon  their  productions.  Campania  seema, 
from  the  present  passage,  to  have  been  famous  for  its  counterpanes. 


Sc.  IL  OB,  THE  CHEAT.  263 

but  so  utterly  worthless  are  you,  so  neglectful,  of  such  stub- 
born dispositions,  that  you  compel  me  to  put  you  in  mind  of 
your  duty  with  a  basting.  You  are  so  minded*  I  suppose,  to 
get  the  better  of  this  scourge  and  myself  through  the  hard- 
ness of  your  hides.  Never,  i'  faith,  will  your  hides  prove 
harder,  than  is  this  cow-hide  of  mine.  {He  dangles  it  before 
them.)  Do  look  at  that,  please ;  they  are  minding  other 
matters.  Attend  to  this,  and  give  heed  to  this.  (He  flogs 
one  of  them.)  How  now  ?  Does  it  pain  ?  Ah,  that's  the 
way  it's  laid  on  when  any  slave  slights  his  master.  Stand 
all  of  you  before  me,  you  race  of  mortals  born  to  be  thrashed  ; 
turn  your  ears  this  way ;  give  attention  all  of  yoU  to  what  I 
say.  You  fellow  who  are  holding  the  pitcher,  do  you  fetch 
the  water ;  do  you  take  care  that  the  cauldron's  full  this 
instant.  You,  with  the  axe,  I  appoint  over  the  wood-cutting 
department. 

Slave.  But  this  one  is  blunted  on  the  edge. 

Bal.  Let  it  be  so,  then.  And  so  are  you  yourselves  with 
stripes ;  yet  am  I  for  that  reason  any  the  less  to  enjoy  your 
services  ?  My  orders  I  give  to  you,  that  the  house  be  made 
clean.  You  have  what  you  are  to  do ;  make  haste,  and  go 
in-doors.  {Exit  First  Slave.)  Be  you  the  one  that  makes 
the  couches  smooth1.  Do  you  wash  the  plate  clean,  and  ar- 
range it  in  order  as  well.  Take  care  that  when  I  return 
from  the  Forum,  I  find  things  done ;  that  all  be  swept, 
sprinkled,  scoured,  made  smooth,  cleaned,  and  arranged  in 
order.  For  this  day  is  my  birthday ;  it  befits  you  all  to 
celebrate  it.  Take  care  to  lay  the  gammon  of  bacon,  the 
brawn,  the  collared  neck,  and  the  udder,  in  water ;  do  you 
hear  me  ?  I  wish  to  entertain  tip-top  men  in  first-rate  style, 
that  they  may.  fancy  that  I  have  property.  Go  you  in-doors, 
and  get  these  things  ready  quickly,  that  there  may  be 
no  delay  when  the  cook  comes.  I'm  going  to  market,  that  I 
may  make  purchase  of  whatever  fish  is  there.  Boy,  go  you 
before  me ;  I  must  have  a  care  that  no  one  cuts  away  my 
purse.  Or  wait  there  ;  there's  something  that  I  had  almost 
forgotten  to  say  at  home.  Do  you  hear  me,  you  women  ?  I 
have  this  charge  for  you — you,  misses  of  distinction,  who 
spend  your  time  vrith  illustrious  men  in  refinements,  luxury, 

•  Makes  the  couches  smooth)— Ver.  162.  It  was  to  be  his  duty  to  prepare  tue 
couches  required  tor  the  entertainment. 


2G4  PSETJDOLUS ;  Act  I. 

and  aeligbts ;  now  shall  I  know  and  make  trial  this  day, 
which  one  has  regard  for  her  liberty1,  which  for  her  appetite 
which  thinks  on  her  business,  which  on  sleeping  only  :  this  day 
I'll  make  trial  which  I  must  think  of  as  a  freed-woman,  and 
which  as  one  to  be  sold.  Take  you  care  that  many  a  present 
from  your  lovers  comes  in  for  me  this  day  ;  for  if  your  year's 
board  isn't  picked  up  for  me,  to-morrow  I'll  turn  you  adrift 
on  the  public.  You  know  that  this  is  my  birthday  ;  where 
are  those  youths,  the  apples  of  whose  eyes  you  are,  whose 
-very  existence,  whose  delight  you  are  ?  Where  are  your 
kisses,  ivhere  your  bosoms  sweet  as  honey  ?  Make  the  bearers 
of  presents  to  come  here  then,  for  my  sake,  before  this  house, 
in  whole  regiments2.  Why  am  I  to  find  clothes  for  you, 
gold  trinkets,  and  those  things  which  you  need?  What 
have  I,  you  jades,  through  your  means,  except  vexation,  you 
women,  eager  for  nothing  but  the  wine  ?  You  are  a -soaking 
away  yourselves  and  your  paunches  too,  at  the  very  time  that 
I'm  here  a-dry.  Now,  therefore,  this  is  the  best  thing  to 
do ;  for  me  to  call  you  each  by  her  name,  that  no  one  of 
you  may  be  declaring  to  me  by-and-by  that  her  business 
hasn't  been  told  her.  Give  attention,  all  of  you.  In  the 
first  place,  Hedylium,  my  business  is  with  you — you,  who 
are  the  favorite  of  the  corn-merchants,  men  who  have,  all  of 
them,  immense  mountains  of  wheat  piled  up  at  home ;  take 
you  care  that  wheat  is  brought  here  for  me,  to  suffice  this 
year  to  come  for  myself  and  all  my  household,  and  that  I 
may  so  abound  in  corn  that  the  city  may  change  my  name 
for  me,  and  instead  of  the  procurer  Ballio  proclaim  me  King 
Iasion3. 

1  Regard  for  her  liberty)— Ver.  175.  By  "caput"  he  means  "liberty  of  the 
head"  or  "  person."  He  will  try  to  find  out  which  of  the  women  attends  to 
gaining  as  much  money  as  will  one  day  procure  her  liberation,  and  who,  conse- 
quently, is  studying  the  interests  of  her  master. 

2  In  whole  regiments)— Ver.  181.  " Manipulatim."  Literally,  "in  whole  ma- 
niples." There  were  120  men  in  each  maniple  of  the  "  velites,"  "  hastati,"  and 
"  principes"  of  the  Roman  army,  and  60  in  each  maniple  of  the  "  triarii."  Four 
maniples  made  a  cohort. 

3  King  Iasion) — Ver.  193.  Iasius,  or  Iasion,  was  a  king  of  Arcadia,  the  father 
of  Atalanta,  who  attended  the  hunt  of  the  Calydonian  boar,  and  was  beloved  by 
Melcagcr.  There  was  another  person  of  the  same  name,  who  was  the  lover  * 
Ceres,  and  was  slain  by  the  thunderbolts  of  Jove.  As  he  was  said  to  have  been 
the  father,  bj  Ceres,  of  Plutus,  the.  God  of  Riches,  he  is  probably  the  person 
here  referred  to 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  CIIEAT.  265 

Cal.  (apart).  Do  you  hear  what  the  gallows-bird  13 
Baying?  *  *  *  Doesn't  he  seem 

a  regular  boaster  to  you  ? 

Pseud,  (apart).  V  troth  the  fellow  does,  and  a  wicked 
one1  aa  well.     But  hush  now,  and  give  attention  to  this. 

Bal.  iEschrodora,  you  who  have  for  your  patrons  the 
Dutchers,  those  rivals  of  the  procurers,  who,  just  like  our- 
selves, by  false  oaths  seek  their  gains,  do  you  listen ;  unless 
the  three  larders  shall  be  crammed  for  me  this  day  with  car- 
cases of  ample  weight,  to-morrow,  just  as  they  say  that  for- 
merly the  two  sons  of  Jupiter  fastened  Dirce2  to  the  bull, 
aye,  this  day  as  well,  will  I  tie  you  up  to  the  larder ;  that, 
in  fact,  shall  be  your  bull. 

Cal.  (apart).  I'm  quite  enraged  by  the  talk  of  this  fellow ; 
that  we  should  suffer  the  youth  of  Attica  to  encourage  here3 
this  fellow!  Where  are  they — where  are  they  skulking, 
they  of  mature  age,  who  have  their  amorous  dealings  with 
this  procurer?  "Why  don't  they  meet?  Why  don't  they 
one  and  all  deliver  the  public  from  this  pestilence?  But  I 
am  very  simple,  and  very  ignorant ;  they  would  venture,  of 
course,  to  do  that  to  those,  to  whom  their  passions  compel 
them,  to  their  misfortune,  to  be  subservient,  and,  at  the 
same  time,  prevent  them  from  doing  that  against  them  which 
they  would  rather  wish  to  do. 

Pseud,  (apart).  Hush !    Cal.  (apart).  What's  the  matter  ? 

Pseud,  (apart).  Pshaw!  you  are  not  very  obliging.  Why 
are  you  drowning  his  talk4  by  your  noise  ? 

Cal.  (apart).  I'll  be  silent.  Pseud,  (apart).  But  I'd 
much  rather  you  would  be  silent,  than  that  you  should  say 
you  will  be  silent. 

Bal.  And  you,  Xystilis,  take  you  care  and  give  me  your 
attention — you  whose  fanciers  have  large  quantities  of  oil  at 
home.  If  oii  shall  not  be  brought  me  here  forthwith  in  leathern 

1  And  a  wicked  one) — Ver.  195.  Pseudolus  plays  on  the  resemblance  of  the 
two  words  "  magnificus,"  a  boaster,  and  "  malefieus,"  "  wicked." 

2  Fastened  Dirce) — Ver.  199.  Dirce  was  married  to  Lycus,  the  King  of  Thebes, 
after  he  had  divorced  Antiope.  On  this,  Zethus  and  Amphion,  the  sons  of  the 
latter  by  Jupiter,  caused  the  supplanter  of  their  mother  to  be  fastened  to  the  tail  oi 
a  wild  bull,  and  put  Lycus  to  death. 

3  To  encourage  here) — Ver.  202.  As  being  the  minister  of  their  pleasures. 

*  Drowning  his  talk) — Ver.  208.  Calidorus  will  keep  whispering  to  him,  whiit 
l'e  is  wishful  to  listen  to  what  the  procurer  is  saying. 


266  PSEUDOLUS  ;  Act  I. 

bags,  I'll  to-morrow  cause  yourself  to  be  carried  oft'  in  a 
leathern  bag  to  the  prostitutes'  shambles1.  There  a  bed 
shall  be  given  you,  I  warrant,  where  you  can  have  no  rest, 

but  where,  even  to  downright  fainting You  understand 

what's  the  tendency  of  that  which  I'm  saying  ?  Will  you 
tell  me,  you  viper  you,  you  who  have  so  many  of  your  fanciers 
so  right  well  laden  with  their  oil,  is  noAV  the  head  of  any 
one  of  your  fellow-slaves  a  bit  the  better  anointed  by  your 
means,  or  do  I,  myself,  get  my  dainty  morsels  a  bit  the 
better  seasoned  with  oil2  for  it  ?  But  I  understand — you 
don't  care  much  about  oil ;  with  wine  you  anoint  yourself. 
Only  wait  a  bit ;  by  my  troth  I'll  punish  you  for  all  at  one 
spell,  unless  indeed  this  day  you  contrive  to  manage  all  these 
things  that  I've  been  speaking  of.  But  as  for  you,  Phce- 
nicium,  I  tell  you  this,  you  pet  of  the  mighty  men — you  who 
have  been  for  so  long  a  time  always  paying  down  to  me  your 
money  for  your  liberty — you  who  only  know  how  to  promise, 
but  don't  know  how  to  pay  what  you  have  promised ;  unless 
this  day  all  your  keep  is  brought  me  here  out  of  the  stores 
of  your  customers,  to-morrow,  Phcenicium,  with  a  true  Phoeni- 
cian hide3,  you'll  pay  a  visit  to  the  strumpets'  shambles. 
{The  Slaves  go  into  the  house  o/'Ballio.) 

Scene  III. — Calidorus  and  Pseudolus  come  forward. 
Ballio  stands  near  his  door. 

Cal.  Pseudolus,  don't  you  hear  what  he  says  ? 
Pseud.  I  hear  it,  master,  and  I  give  good  heed. 
Cal.  What  do  you  advise  me  to  send  him,  that  he  mayn't 
devote  my  mistress  to  dishonor  ? 

Pseud.  Don't  you  trouble  yourself  about  that ;  be  of  cheer- 

1  Prostitutes'  shambles) — Ver.  214.  It  is  not  exactly  known  what  the  "per- 
gula"  was,  but  it  is  supposed  that  it  was  a  "  booth  "  or  "  shed  "  adjoining  to  a 
house,  which  was  let  out  for  persons  who  wished  to  expose  their  wares  to  the 
public  view.  It  is  not  improbable  that  in  these  sheds  the  lower  class  of  cour- 
tesans "  prostabant  venales,"  or  courted  the  public  favour.  No  doubt  the  "  leno" 
had  one  of  these  in  his  establishment,  and  he  threatens  the  refractory  females 
with  it  as  a  punishment,  as  it  was  probably  tenanted  by  the  refractory  ones,  and 
those  whose  charms  had  ceased  to  attract  more  wealthy  customers. 

2  Seasoned  with  oil) — Ver.  221.  "  Unctiusculo."  The  Romans  used  a  great 
deal  of  oil  in  the  seasoning  of  their  dishes. 

2  True  Ptioznician  hide) — Ver.  228.  He  puns  upon  her  name ;  as  "  phce/ncium," 
or  '  puniceum,"  was  the  r.ame  of  the  Duri>le  colour  for  which  Tyre  and  Sidon,  in 
Phoenicia,  were  so  famous. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  CHEAT.  267 

ful  mind.  I'll  manage  for  myself  and  for  you.  For  some 
time  past  I've  been  on  terms  of  goodwill  with  him,  and 
he  with  me ;  and  our  friendship  is  of  old  standing.  I'll 
send  him  this  day,  on  his  birthday,  a  mischief  heavy  and 
w«ell-matured. 

Cal.  What's  the  plan?  Pseud.  Can't  you  attend  to 
something  else  ? 

Cal.  But Pseud.  Tut. 

Cal.  I'm  distracted.     Pseud.  Harden  your  heart. 

Cal.  I  cannot.     Pseud.  Make  yourself  to  can. 

Cal.  By  what  means,  pray,  can  I  prevail  upon  my  feel- 
ings ? 

Pseud.  Carry  you  out  that  which  is  to  your  advantage, 
rather  than  give  heed  with  your  feelings  to  the  thing  that's 
disadvantageous. 

Cal.  That's  nonsense ;  there  is  no  pleasure,  unless  a  lover 
acts  like  a  fool. 

Pseud.  Do  you  persist  ?  Cal.  0  my  dear  Pseudolus, 
let  me  be  undone — do  let  me,  please. 

Pseud.  I'll  let  you ;  only  let  me  go.    ( Going) 

Cal.  Stay,  stay.  As  you  shall,  then,  wish  me  to  be,  so 
will  I  be. 

Pseud.  Now,  at  last,  you  are  in  your  senses. 

Bal.  {coming  forward  from  the  door  of  his  house  to  the 
other  side  of  the  stage).  The  day  is  passing;  I'm  causing 
delay  to  myself.  Boy,  do  you  go  before  me.  (Moves  as  if 
going.) 

Cal.  Hallo  there!  he's  going;  why  don't  you  call  him 
back? 

Pseud.  Why  in  such  a  hurry  ?    Gently. 

Cal.  But  before  he's  gone. 

Bal.  Why  the  plague  do  you  go  so  slowly,  boy  ? 

Pseud.  You  born  on  this  day,  hallo !  you  born  on  this 
day  ;  I'm  calling  to  you ;  hallo !  you  born  on  this  day,  come 
you  back  and  look  at  us.  Although  you  are  busy,  we  want 
you  ;  stop — it's  because  some  persons  want  to  speak  to  you. 

Bal.  What's  this  ?  Who  is  it,  when  I'm  busy,  causes  me 
unseasonable  delay  ? 

Pseud.  He  that  has  been  your  supporter. 

Bal.  He's  dead  that  has  been;  only  he  that  is^  is  nous 
alive. 


2G8  PSETTDOLUS ;  Act  I. 

Pseud.  -You  are  too  saucy.  Bal.  You  are  too  trouble- 
some.    {Turns  away  to  go  on.) 

Cal.  Seize  the  fellow ;  follow  him  up. 

Bal.  Go  on,  boy.  Pseud.  Let's  go  and  meet  him  this 
way.     (They  run  and  stand  before  him.') 

Bal.  May  Jupiter  confound  you,  whoever  you  are. 

Pseud.  That  for  yourself  I  wish.  Bal.  And  for  both  of  yoi» 
do  I.     Turn  you  this  way,  boy.    {Takes  another  direction.) 

Pseud.  May  we  not  speak  with  you  ? 

Bal.  Why,  it  doesn't  please  me. 

Pseud.  But  if  it's  something  to  your  advantage  ? 

Bal.  Am  I  allowed  to  go  away,  pray,  or  am  I  not  ? 

Pseud.  Pshaw  !  Stop.  {Catches  hold  of  him.)  Bal.  Let 
me  go. 

Cal.  Ballio,  listen.     Bal.  I'm  deaf. 

Cal.  Really,  you  are  uncivil.  Bal.  You  are  a  chatterer 
of  nonsense. 

Cal.  I  gave  you  money  so  long  as  I  had  it. 

Bal.  I'm  not  asking  what  you  gave. 

Cal.  I'll  give  you  some  when  I  have  it. 

Bal.  When  you  have  it,  bring  it  to  me1. 

Cal.  Alas,  alas !  In  what  a  foolish  fashion  have  I  lavished 
what  I  brought  to  you,  and  what  I  gave  you. 

Bal.  Your  wealth  defunct,  you  now  are  talking  about  it ; 
you  are  a  simpleton,  a  cause  that  has  been  tried  you  are 
trying  over  again. 

Pseud.  At  least  consider  him,  who  he  is. 

Bal.  I've  known  for  a  long  time  now  who  he  was ;  wh<? 
he  now  is,  let  him  know  himself.  Do  you  walk  on  {to 
the  Boy). 

Pseud.  And  can't  you,  Ballio,  only  once  give  a  look  this 
way  for  your  own  profit  ? 

Bal.  At  that  price  I'll  give  a  look ;  for  if  I  were  sacri- 
ficing to  supreme  Jupiter,  and  were  presenting3  the  entrails  in 
my  hands  to  lay  them  on  the  altar,  if  in  the  meanwhile  any- 

1  Bring  it  to  me) — Ver.  258.  "  Ducito."  This  word  may  either  mean  "  bring" 
the  money  when  you  have  got  it,  or  "  take  away"  Phcenicium  when  you  bring  the 
money.     The  former  seems  the  most  probable  meaning. 

2  And  were  presenting') — Ver.  266.  "  Porricio"  was  the  word  especially  env 
ployed  to  signify  the  act  of  laying  the  entrails  on  the  altar,  for  the  purpose  ol 
burning  them. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  CHEAT.  269 

thing  in  the  way  of  profit  were  offered,  I  should  in  preference 
forsake  the  sacrifice.  There's  no  being  able  to  resist  that 
sort  of  piety,  however  other  things  go. 

Pseud,  {aside).  The  very  Gods,  whom  it  is  especially  our 
duty  to  reverence — them  he  esteems  of  little  value. 

Bal.  I'll  speak  to  him.  Hail  to  you,  right  heartily,  the 
very  vilest  slave  in  Athens. 

Pseud.  May  the  G-ods  and  Goddesses  favour  you,  Ballio, 
both  at  his  wish  and  at  my  own ;  or,  if  you  are  deserving  of 
other  terms,  let  them  neither  favour  nor  bless  you. 

Bal.  What's  the  matter,  Calidorus  ? 

Cal.  Love  and  pinching  want1  are  the  matter. 

Bal.  I  would  pity  you,  if,  upon  pity  I  could  support  my 
establishment. 

Pseud.  Aye,  aye,  we  know  you  quite  well,  what  sort  of 
character  you  are  ;  don't  be  proclaiming  it.  But  do  you 
know  what  we  want  ? 

Bal.  I'  faith,  I  know  it  pretty  nearly ;  that  there  may  be 
something  unfortunate  for  me. 

Pseud.  Both  to  that  and  this  for  -which  we  called  you  back, 
prithee  do  give  your  attention. 

Bal.  I  am  attending ;  but  compress  into  a  few  words  what 
you  want,  as  I'm  busy  now. 

Pseud.  He  {pointing  to  Calidorus)  is  quite  ashamed 
about  what  he  promised  you,  and  the  day  for  which  he  pro- 
mised it,  that  he  hasn't  even  yet  paid  you  those  twenty  minse 
for  his  mistress. 

Bal.  That  which  we  are  ashamed  at  is  much  more  easily 
endured  than  that  which  we  are  vexed  at.  At  not  having 
paid  the  money,  he  is  ashamed ;  I,  because  I  have  not  received 
it,  am  vexed. 

Pseud.  Still,  he'll  pay  it,  he'll  procure  it;  do  you  only 
wait  some  days  to  come.  But  lie  has  been  afraid  of  this,  thai 
you'll  sell  her  on  account  of  his  embarrassment. 

Bal.  He  had  an  opportunity,  had  he  wished,  of  paying  the 
money  long  ago. 

Cal.  "What  if  I  had  it  not  ?  Bal.  If  you  had  been  in 
love,  you  would  have  found  it  on  loan.     Yoi    would  have 

1  Love  and  pinching  want)  —  Ver.  273.  "  Amatur  atque  egetur  acriter.* 
Literally.  "  it  is  loved,  and  is  wanted  sharply." 


270  pseudolus  ;  Act  T. 

gone  to  the  usurer1 ;  you  would  have  paid  the  interest ;  or 
else  you  would  have  pilfered  it  from  your  father. 

Psetjd.  Ought  he  to  have  pilfered  it  from  his  father,  you 
most  shameless  villain  ?  There  is  no  fear  that  you'll  point 
out  to  him  anything  that's  right. 

Bal.  That's  not  like  a  procurer.  Cal.  And  could  I  pos- 
sibly pilfer  anything  from  my  father,  an  old  man  so  much  on 
his  guard  ?  And  besides,  if  I  could  do  so,  filial  affection 
forbids. 

Bal.  I  understand  you;  do  you  then  at  night  embrace 
filial  affection  in  place  of  Phoenicium.  But  since  I  see  you 
prefer  your  filial  affection  to  your  love — are  all  men  your 
fathers  ?  Is  there  no  one  for  you  to  ask  to  lend  you  some 
money  ? 

Cal.  Why,  the  very  name  of  lending' s  dead  and  gone  by 
this. 

Pseud.  Look  you  now ;  since,  i'  faith2,  those  fellows  arose 
from  the  'banker's  table,  with  a  filled  skin,  who,  when  they 
called  in  their  own,  paid  what  they  had  borrowed  to  no  born 
creature,  since  then,  I  say,  all  people  have  been  more  cautious 
not  to  trust  another. 

Cal.  Most  wretched  am  I ;  nowhere  am  I  able  to  find  a 
coin  of  silver ;  so  distractedly  am  I  perishing  both  through 
love  and  want  of  money. 

Bal.  Buy  oil  on  credit3,  and  sell  it  for  ready  money ;  then, 
i'  faith,  even  two  hundred  minae  ready  money  might  be  raised. 

Cal.  There  I'm  done ;  the  twenty-five  year  old  law4 
founders  me.     All  are  afraid  to  trust  me. 

1  To  the  usurer) — Ver.  287.  "Danista,"  from  the  Greek  daviaTt]?,  "an 
usurer." 

2  Since,  V  faith) — Ver.  296.  He  alludes  probably  to  the  receut  fraudulent 
failure  of  some  well-known  bankers. 

3  Buy  oil  on  credit) — Ver.  301.  "  Emito  die  caeca — id  vendito  oculata  die." 
By  buying  a  commodity  "  on  a  blind  day,"  and  selling  it  "  on  one  with  eyes,"  is 
meant  the  system  of  credit  for  the  purposes  of  business ;  where  they  who  purchase 
on  that  principle  have  an  eye  only  to  the  present  time,  but  are  blind  as  to  the 
future  consequences  of  their  speculation.  The  intention  of  the  procurer  is  to  ad- 
vise the  young  man  to  get  oil  on  credit,  and  then  sell  it  for  anything  it  will  fetch. 

*  The  twenty -five  year  old  law) — Ver.  303.  The  Quinavicenarian,  which  was 
also  called  the  Lsetorian  Law,  forbade  credit  to  be  given  to  persor_s  under  the  age 
of  twenty-five  years,  and  deprived  the  creditor  of  all  right  to  recover  his  monej 
or  goods.  As  usual,  Plautus  does  not  scruple  to  refer  to  Roman  customs,  thougi 
the  scene  is  at  Athens. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  CHE  IT.  271 

Bal.  The  same  law1  have  I.     I'm  afraid  to  trust  you. 

Pseud.  To  trust  him,  indeed !  How  now,  do  you  repent 
of  the  great  profit  he  has  been  to  you  ? 

Bal.  No  lover  is  a  profitable  one,  except  him  who  keeps 
continually  making  presents.  Either  let  him  be  always  giving, 
or  when  he  has  nothing,  let  him  at  the  same  time  cease  to  be 
in  love. 

Cal.  And  don't  you  pity  me  at  all  ? 

Bal.  You  come  empty-handed ;  words  don't  chink.  But 
I  wish  you  life  and  health. 

Pseud.  Heyday !     Is  he  dead  already  ? 

Bal.  However  he  is,  to  me  indeed,  at  all  events,  with 
these  speeches,  he  is  dead.  Then,  does  a  lover  really  live, 
when  he  comes  begging  to  a  procurer  ?  Do  you  always  come 
to  me  with  a  complaint  that  brings2  its  money.  As  for  that, 
which  you  are  now  lamenting  about,  that  you  have  got  no 
money,  complain  of  it  to  your  stepmother3. 

Pseud.  Why,  have  you  ever  been  married  to  his  father, 
pray  ? 

Bal.  May  the  Gods  grant  better  things. 

Pseud.  Do  what  we  ask  you,  Ballio,  on  my  credit,  if  you 
are  afraid  to  trust  him.  "Within  the  next  three  days,  from 
some  quarter,  in  some  way,  ekher  by  land  or  sea,  I'll  rout  up 
this  money  for  you. 

Bal.  I,  trust  you  ?      Pseud.  "Why  not  ? 

Bal.  Because,  i'  faith,  on  the  same  principle  that  I  trust 
you,  on  that  principle  I  should  tie  a  run-away  dog  to  a 
lamb's  fry. 

Cal.  Is  the  obligation  thus  ungratefully  returned  by  you 
to  me,  who  have  deserved  so  well  of  you  ? 

Bal.  "What  do  you  want  now  ?  Cal.  That  you  will  only 
wait  these  six  days  of  the  Feast,  and  will  not  sell  her  .or  prove 
the  death  of  the  person  who  loves  her. 

1  The  same  laid) — Ver.  304.  By  using  the  word  "  lex,"  he  probabl"  means  that 
the  law  also  applies  to  him,  as  it  forbids  him  to  give  credit;  or  he  nay  simply 
mean  that  it  is  his  rule  and  custom  not  to  give  credit. 

2  Complaint  that  brings) — Ver.  312.  M  Cum  argentata  querimoma."  Lite- 
rally, "  with  a  silvery  complaint."    He  probably  alludes  to  the  chinking  of  silver. 

3  To  your  stepmother) — Ver.  314.  Stepmothers,  in  ancient  times,  were  pro- 
verbially notorious  for  their  unfeeling  conduct  to  their  step-children.  Ballio 
ironically  tells  him  to  go  and  look  for  sympathy  from  his  stepmother,  on  which 
Pseudolus  retorts  by  implying  that  Ballio  is  as  unfeeling  as  any  stepmother  can  be. 


272  pseudolus  ;  Act  I 

Bal.  Be  of  good  courage ;  I'll  wait  six  months  even. 

Cal.  Capital — most  delightful  man ! 

Bal.  Aye;  and  do  you  wish,  too,  that  from  joyful  1 
should  make  you  even  more  joyous  ? 

Cal.  How  so  ?  Bal.  Why,  because  I've  got  no  Phoe- 
nicium  to  sell. 

Cal.  Not  got  her  ?     Bal.  I'  faith,  not  I,  indeed. 

Cal.  Pseudolus,  go  fetch  the  sacrifice,  the  victims,  the 
sacrificers1,  that  I  may  make  offering  to  this  supreme  Jove. 
For  this  Jupiter  is  now  much  more  mighty  to  me  than  is 
Jupiter  himself. 

Bal.  I  want  no  victims ;  with  the  entrails  of  minse2  I 
wish  to  be  appeased. 

Cal.  {to  Pseudolus).  Make  haste.  Why  do  you  hesitate  ? 
Go  fetch  the  lambs  ;  do  yuu  hear  what  Jupiter  says  ? 

Pseud.  I'll  be  here  this  moment ;  but  first  I  must  run 
as  far  as  beyond  the  gate3. 

Cal.  Why  thither?  Pseud.  I'll  fetch  two  sacrificers 
thence,  with  their  bells ;  at  the  same  time  I'll  fetch  thence 
two  bundles  of  elm  twigs,  that  this  day  a  sufficiency  may  be 
provided  for  the  sacrifice  to  this  Jove. 

Bal.  Away  to  utter  perdition4. 

Pseud.  Thither  shall  the  pimping  Jupiter  go. 

Bal.  It  isn't  for  your  interest  that  I  should  die. 

Pseud.  How  so ?     Bal.  This  May ;  because,  if  I'm  dead, 

1  The  sacrificers) — Ver.  327.  "  Lanios."  Literally,  "  butchers."  These  were 
.he  "  popae,"  or  servants  of  the  priests,  who  slaughtered  the  cattle  which  were 
offered  in  sacrifice. 

2  Entrails  of  minw) — Ver.  329.  "  Mininis  extis."  He  intends  a  pun  by  the 
use  of  the  word  "mininis."  "Mina,"  as  has  been  already  observed,  meant  a 
kind  of  sheep  without  wool  on  its  belly,  and  also  the  sum  of  money  composed  of 
a  hundred  drachmae.  He  does  not  want  victims,  he  wants  the  entrails  of  the 
money  for  his  propitiation. 

3  Beyond  the  gate) — Ver.  331.  The  Metian  Gate  at  Rome  is  supposed  to  be 
here  referred  to,  where  the  butchers  kept  their  slaughter-houses,  and  where  the 
"  lanii"  were  likely  to  be  found.  It  is  not  improbable  that  the  priests  and  sacri- 
ficers wore  bells  on  their  dress,  to  which  reference  is  probably  made  in  the  next 
line.  Perhaps  they  were  employed  for  the  purpose  of  drowning  the  cries  of  the 
victims.     The  ephod  of  the  Jewish  high  priest  was  adorned  with  bells. 

*  To  utter  perdition) — Ver.  335.  "  In  malam  crucem."  Literally,  "  go  to 
the  dreadful  cross,"  which  answers  to  our  expression,  "  go  to  perdition ;"  or,  in 
unpolite  parlance,  "go  to  the  devil."  It  alludes  to  the  cress,  as  the  instrument 
oi  punishment  for  slaves  and  malefactors  of  the  lower  order. 


Sc    III.  OB,  THE  CHEAT.  273 

there  will  be  no  one  worse  than  yourself  in  Athens.  For 
your  interest  (to  Caxidoeus)  it  is  that  I  should  die. 

Cal.  How  so  ?  Bal.  I'll  tell  you ;  because,  i'  faith,  so 
long  as  I  shall  be  alive,  you'll  never  be  a  man  well  to  do. 

Cal.  Troth  now,  prithee,  in  serious  truth,  tell  me  this  that 
I  ask  you — have  you  not  got  my  mistress,  Phcenicium,  on  sale? 

Bal.  By  my  faith,  I  really  have  not ;  for  I've  now  sold 
her  already. 

Cal.  In  what  way  ?  Bal.  Without  her  trappings,  with 
all  her  inwards1. 

Cal.   What  ?    Have  you  sold  my  mistress  ? 

Bal.  Decidedly ;  for  twenty  minse.    Cal.  For  twenty  minse  ? 

Bal.  Or,  in  other  words,  for  four  times  five  minse,  which- 
ever you  please,  to  a  Macedonian  Captain ;  and  I've  already 
got  fifteen  of  the  minse  at  home. 

Cal.  "What  is  it  that  I  hear  of  you  ? 

Bal.  That  your  mistress  has  been  turned  into  money. 

Cal.  "Why  did  you  dare  to  do  so  ? 

Bal.  'Twas  my  pleasure ;  she  was  my  own. 

Cal.  Hallo !  Pseudolus.     Eun,  fetch  me  a  sword. 

Pseud.  What  need  is  there  of  a  sword  ? 

Cal.  With  which  to  kill  this  fellow  this  instant,  and  then 
myself. 

Pseud.  But  why  not  kill  yourself  only  rather  ?  For  famine 
will  soon  be  killing  him. 

Cal.  What  do  you  say,  most  perjured  of  men  as  many  as 
are  living  upon  the  earth  ?  Did  you  not  take  an  oath  that 
you  would  sell  her  to  no  person  besides  myself? 

Bal.  I  confess  it.     Cal.  In  solemn  form2,  to  wit. 

Bal.  Aye,  and  well  considered  too.  Cal.  You  have  proved 
perjured,  you  villain. 

Bal.  I  sacked  the  money  at  home,  however.  Villain  as 
I  am,  I  am  now  able  to  draw  upon  a  stock  of  silver  in  my 

1  With  all  her  inwards) — Ver.  343.  "  Cum  intestinis  omnibus."  By  this 
unfeeling  expression,  the  fellow  means,  u  stark  naked,"  just  as  she  stands. 
However,  we  will  do  him  the  justice  to  suppose  that  when,  in  the  sequel, 
she  is  led  away  by  Simmia,  a  "  toga"  is  thrown  over  her  for  decency's 
Jake. 

2  In  solemn  form) — Ver.  353.  To  take  an  oath  in  solemn  form,  or,  "  conceptia 
verbis,"  was  when  the  oath  was  repeated  by  another  person,  and  the  party  swear- 
ing him  followed  in  his  words.  The  Koman  formula  for  sweariag  was  "El 
animi  mei  sententia  juro." 

T 


274  pseudolus  ;  Act  L 

house;  whereas  you  who  are  so  dutiful,  and  born  of  that 
grand  family,  haven't  a  single  coin. 

Cai.  Pyeudolus,  stand  by  him  on  the  other  side  and  load 
this  fellow  with  imprecations. 

Pseud.  Very  well.  Never  would  I  run  to  the  Praetor1 
with  equal  speed  that  I  might  be  made  free.  (Stands  on  the 
other  side  o/'Ballio.) 

Cal.  Heap  on  him  a  multitude  of  curses. 

Pseud.  Now  will  I  publish  you  with  my  rebukes.  Thou 
lackshame ! 

Bal.  'Tis  the  fact.     Pseud.  Villain ! 

Bal.  Tou  say  the  truth.     Pseud.  "Whipping-post ! 

Bal.  "Why  not?     Pseud.  Eobber  of  tombs ! 

Bal.  No  doubt.     Pseud.  Gallows-bird! 

Bal.  Very  well  done.     Pseud.  Cheater  of  your  friends ! 

Bal.  That's  in  my  way.     Pseud.  Parricide ! 

Bal.  Proceed,  you.     Cal.  Committer  of  sacrilege ! 

Bal.  I  own  it.     Cal.'  Perjurer! 

Bal.  You're  telling  nothing  new2.     Cal.  Lawbreaker! 

Bal.  Very  much  so.     Pseud.  Pest  of  youth ! 

Bal.  Most  severely  said.     Cal.  Thief! 

Bal.  Oh!  wonderful!     Pseud.  Vagabond! 

Bal.  Pooh!  pooh3!     Cal.  Defrauder  of  the  public ! 

Bal.  Most  decidedly  so.     Pseud.  Cheating  scoundrel ! 

Cal.  Filthy  pander !     Pseud.  Lump  of  filth ! 

Bal.  A  capital  chorus.  Cal.  Tou  beat  your  father  and 
mother. 

Bal.  Aye,  and  killed  them,  too,  rather  than  find  them 
food ;  did  I  do  wrong  at  all  ? 

Pseud.  We  are  pouring  our  words  into  a  pierced  cask* : 
we  are  losing  our  pains. 

1  Run  to  the  Prattor)— Ver.  358.  The  "  Praetor"  was  the  public  officer  at  Rome 
who  liberated  slaves  at  the  request  of  their  owners.  The  ceremony  was  per- 
formed by  his  lictor  laying  a  rod  called  "  vindicta"  on  the  head  of  the  person 
manumitted. 

2  Telling  nothing  new) — Ver.  363.  He  means  that  Calldorus  has  called  him 
that  already;  which  he  has  done  in  the  354th  line. 

3  Pooh  !  pooh  /) — Ver.  364.  "  Bombax."  This  is  a  Greek  word,  an  expression 
of  contempt. 

4  Into  a  pierced  cash) — Ver.  369.  This  notion  is  probably  taken  from  the 
punishment  of  the  daughters  of  Danaiis,  who,  for  the  murder  of  their  husbands, 
the  sons  of  ^Egyptus,  were  doomed  by  Jupiter  to  pass  their  time  in  the  Infern* 
regions  in  gathering  u  v  water  in  perforated  vessels- 


Se.  III.  OE,  THE  CDJEAT.  275 

Bal.  "Would  you  like  to  call  me  anything  else  besides  ? 

Cal.  Is  there  anything  that  shames  you  ? 

Bal.  Yes  ;  that  you  have  been  found  to  be  a  lover  as  empty 
as  a  rotten  nut.  But  although  you  have  used  towards  me 
expressions  many  and  harsh,  unless  the  Captain  shall  bring 
me  this  day  the  five  minae  that  he  owes  me,  as  this  was  the 
last  day  appointed  for  the  payment  of  that  money,  if  he  doesn't 
bring  it,  I  think  that  I  am  able  to  do  my  duty. 

Cal.  "What  is  that  duty  ?  Bal.  If  you  bring  the  money, 
I'll  break  faith  with  him ;  that's  my  duty.  If  it  were  more 
worth  my  while,  I  would  talk  further  with  you.  But,  with- 
out a  coin  of  money,  'tis  in  vain  that  you  request  me  to 
have  pity  upon  you.  Such  is  my  determination ;  but  do 
you,  from  this,  consider  what  you  have  henceforth  to  do  ? 
(Moves.) 

Cal.  Are  you  going  then  ?  Bal.  At  present  I  am  full  of 
business.  (Exit. 

Pseud.  Before  long  you'll  be  more  so.  That  man  is  my 
own,  unless  all  Gods  and  men  forsake  me.  I'll  bone  him  just 
in  the  same  fashion  that  a  cook  does  a  lamprey1.  Now, 
Calidorus,  I  wish  you  to  give  me  your  attention. 

Cal.  "What  do  you  bid  me  do  ? 

Pseud.  I  wish  to  lay  siege  to  this  town,  that  this  day  it 
may  be  taken.  For  that  purpose,  I  have  need  of  an  artful, 
clever,  knowing,  and  crafty  fellow,  who  may  despatch  out  of 
hand  what  he  is  ordered,  not  one  to  go  to  sleep  upon  his  watch. 

Cal.  Tell  me,  then,  what  you  are  going  to  do  ? 

Pseud.  In  good  time  I'll  let  you  know.  I  don't  care  for  it 
to  be  repeated  twice  ;  stories  are  made  too  long  that  way. 

Cal.  Tou  plead  what's  very  fair  and  very  just. 

Pseud.  Make  haste  ;  bring  the  fellow  hither  quickly. 

Cal.  Out  of  many,  there  are  but  few  friends  that  are  to  be 
depended  upon  by  a  person. 

Pseud.  I  know  that ;  therefore,  get  for  yourself  now  a 
choice  of  both,  and  seek  out  of  these  many  one  that  can  be 
depended  upon. 

Cal.  I'll  have  him  here  this  instant. 

Pseud.  Can't  you  be  off  then?  Tou  create  delay  for 
yourself  bj  your  talking.  (Exit  Calidorus. 

1  Cook  does  a  lamprey)— Ver.  382.  The  "  muraena,"  or  "  lamprey,"  was  a  dis.b 
highly  valued  by  the  Romans. 

-2 


276  PSEUDOLUS  ;  Act  1. 

Scene  IY. — Pseijdoltjs,  alone. 

Pseud.  Since  lie  has  gone  hence,  you  are  now  standing 
alone,  Pseudolus.  "What  are  you  to  do  now,  after  you  have  so 
largely  promised  costly  delights  to  your  master's  son  by  your 
speeches  ?  You,  for  whom  not  even  one  drop  of  sure  counsel  is 
ready,  nor  yet  of  silver  *  *  *  *  nor  have 
you  where  first  you  must  begin  your  undertaking,  nor  yet  fixed 
limits  for  finishing  off  your  web.  But  just  as  the  poet,  when 
he  has  taken  up  his  tablets,  seeks  what  nowhere  in  the  world 
exists,  and  still  finds  it,  and  makes  that  like  truth  which  really 
is  a  fiction ;  now  I'll  become  a  poet ;  twenty  minae,  which  no- 
where in  the  world  are  now  existing,  still  will  I  find.  And 
some  time  since  had  I  said  that  I  would  find  them  for  him,  and 
I  had  attempted  to  throw  a  net  over  our  old  gentleman ;  how- 
ever, by  what  means  I  know  not,  he  perceived  it  beforehand. 
But  my  voice  and  my  talking  must  be  stopped ;  for,  see  !  1 
perceive  my  master,  Simo,  coming  this  way,  together  with 
his  neighbour,  Callipho.  Out  of  this  old  sepulchre  will  I  dig 
twenty  minae  this  day,  to  give  them  to  my  master's  son. 
Now  I'll  step  aside  here,  that  I  may  pick  up  their  conver- 
sation.    (He  stands  apart.) 

Scene  Y. — Enter  Simo  and  Callipho. 

Simo.  If  now  a  Dictator1  were  to  be  appointed  at  Athens 
of  Attica  out  of  the  spendthrifts  or  out  of  the  gallants, 
I  do  think  that  no  one  would  surpass  my  son.  For  now  the 
only  talk  of  all  throughout  the  city  is  to  the  effect  that  he 
is  trying  to  set  his  mistress  free,  and  is  seeking  after  money 
for  that  purpose.  Some  people  bring  me  word  of  this  ;  and, 
in  fact,  I  had  long  ago  perceived  it,  and  had  suspected  it, 
but  I  dissembled  on  it. 

Pseud,  (apart).  Already  is  his  son  suspected  by  him;  this 
affair  is  nipt  in  the  bud,  this  business  is  at  a  stand-still.  The 
way  is  now  entirely  blocked  up  against  me,  by  which  I  had 
intended  to  go  a-foraging  for  the  money.  He  has  perceived  it 
beforehand.     There's  no  booty  for  the  marauders. 

1  If  now  a  Dictator)— Ver.  416.  Though  the  scene  is  at  Athens,  Plautus  here 
makes  reference  to  Roman  customs.  The  Dictator  was  the  highest  officer  in  the 
Roman  Republic,  and  was  only  elected  upon  emergencies. 


Sc.  V.  OE,  THE  CHEAT.  277 

Call.  Those  men  who  carry  about  and  who  listen  to  accu- 
sations, should  all  be  hanged,  if  so  it  could  be  at  my  decision, 
the  carriers  by  their  tongues,  the  listeners  by  their  ears. 
For  these  things  that  are  told  you,  that  your  son  in  his 
amour  is  desirous  to  chouse  you  out  of  money,  the  chance  is 
that  these  things  so  told  you  are  all  lies.  But  suppose  they 
are  true,  as  habits  are,  now-a-days  especially,  what  has  he 
done  so  surprising  ?  What  new  thing,  if  a  young  man  does 
love,  and  if  he  does  liberate  his  mistress  ? 

Pseud,  (apart).  A  delightful  old  gentleman. 

Simo.  I  don't  wish  him  to  follow  the  old-fashioned 
habits1. 

Call.  But  still,  in  vain  do  you  object ;  or  you  yourself 
shouldn't  have  done  the  like  in  your  youthful  days.  It 
befits  the  father  to  be  immaculate,  who  wishes  his  son  to  be 
more  immaculate  than  he  has  been  himself.  But  the  mis- 
chief and  the  profligacy  you  were  guilty  of  might  have  been 
distributed  throughout  the  whole  population,  a  share  for  each 
man.  Are  you  surprised  at  it,  if  the  son  does  take  after  the 
father  ? 

Pseud,  (apart).  0  Zeus,  Zeus2!  how  few  in  number  are 
you  considerate  men.  See,  that's  being  a  father  to  a  son, 
just  as  is  proper. 

Simo.  Who  is  it  that's  speaking  here  ?  (Looking  round.) 
Why,  surely  'tis  my  servant  Pseudolus.  'Tis  he  corrupts  my 
son,  the  wicked  scoundrel ;  he  is  his  leader,  he  his  tutor.  I 
long  for  him  to  be  put  to  extreme  torture. 

Call.  This  is  folly  now,  thus  to  keep  your  anger  in 
readiness.  How  much  better  were  it  to  accost  him  with  kind 
words  and  to  make  all  enquiries,  whether  these  things  are 
true  or  not  that  they  tell  you  of  ? 

Simo.  I'll  take  your  advice.  Pseud,  (apart).  They  are 
making  towards  you,  Pseudolus;  prepare  your  speech  to 
meet  the  old  fellow.     Good  courage  in  a  bad  case  is  half 

1  The  old-fashioned  habits)— Ver.  436.  "  Vetus  nolo  faciat."  Literally,  "  I 
do  not  wish  him  to  do  what  is  old-fashioned."  He  alludes  to  the  old-fashioned 
trick  of  falling  into  love,  and  running  into  extravagance. 

2  0  Zeus,  Zeus!)— Ver.  443.  *0  Zev,  Zev.  Zeus  was  the  Greek  name  ot 
Jupiter,  whose  Latin  title  was  formed  from  "  Zeus  pater,"  "  Father  Zeus."  The 
use  of  it  in  Latin  colloquy  exactly  corresponds  with  the  irreverent  French  phmso 
too  much  in  use  with  us,  "  0  mon  Dieu !" 


278  PSEUDOLUS  ;  Act  1. 

the  evil  got  over.  {Aloud,  as  he  advances  to  meet  them.) 
First,  I  salute  my  master,  as  is  proper ;  and  alter  that,  if  any- 
thing is  left,  that  I  bestow  upon  his  neighbour. 

Simo.  Good  day  to  you.    What  are  you  about  ? 

Pseud.  About  standing  here  in  this  fashion  (assuming  an 
attitude). 

Simo.  See  the  attitude  of  the  fellow,  Callipho ;  how  like 
that  of  a  man  of  rank. 

Call.  I  consider  that  he  is  standing  properly  and  with 
boldness. 

Pseud.  It  befits  a  servant  innocent  and  guileless,  as  he 
is,  to  be  bold,  most  especially  before  his  master. 

Call.  There  are  some  things  about  which  we  wish  to 
Inquire  of  you,  which  we  ourselves  know  and  have  heard  of 
as  though  through  a  cloud  of  mist. 

Simo.  He'll  manage  you  now  with  his  speeches,  so  that 
you  shall  think  it  isn't  Pseudolus  but  Socrates1  that's  talking 
to  you.     "What  do  you  say  ? 

Pseud.  For  a  long  time  you  have  held  me  in  contempt, 
I  know.  I  see  that  you  have  but  little  confidence  in  me. 
You  wish  me  to  be  a  villain  ;  still,  I  will  be  of  strict  honesty. 

Simo.  Take  care,  please,  and  make  the  recesses  of  your 
ears  free,  Pseudolus,  that  my  words  may  be  enabled  to  enter 
where  I  desire. 

Pseud.  Come,  say  anything  you  please,  although  I  am 
angry  at  you. 

Simo.   What,  you,  a  slave,  angry  at  me  your  master  ? 

Pseud.  And  does  that  seem  wonderful  to  you? 

Simo.  Why,  by  roy  troth,  according  to  what  you  say,  I 
must  be  on  my  guard  against  you  in  your  anger,  and  you 
are  thinking  of  beating  me  in  no  other  way  than  I  am  wont 
to  beat  yourself.     What  do  you  think  ?     (To  Callipho.) 

Call.  I'  faith,  I  think  that  he's  angry  with  good  reason, 
since  you  have  so  little  confidence  in  him. 

SlMO.  I'll  leave  him  alone  then.  Let  him  be  angry  :  I'll 
take  care  that  he  shall  do  me  no  harm.  But  what  do  you 
say  ?    What  as  to  that  which  I  was  asking  you  ? 

Pseud.  If  you  want  anything,  ask  me.  What  I  know, 
do  you  consider  given  you  as  a  response  at  Delphi. 

1  But  Socrates) — Ver.  465.  The  most  learned  ar  i  virtuous  of  all  the  philoso 
pliers  of  ancient  times. 


SC-  V.  OE,  MOB  CKEAT.  279 

Simo.  Give  your  attention  then,  and  take  care  and  please 
mind  your  promise.  What  do  you  say  ?  Do  you  know  that 
my  son  is  in  love  with  a  certain  music-girl  ? 

Pseud.  Tea,  verily1.  Simo.  Whom  he  is  trying  to  make 
free  ? 

Pseud.  Tea,  verily  and  indeed.  Simo.  And  you  are 
scheming  by  cajolery  and  by  cunning  tricks  to  get  twenty 
minae  in  ready  money  out  of  me  ? 

Pseud.  I,  get  them  out  of  you  ? 

Simo.  Just  so ;  to  give  them  to  my  son,  with  which  to 
liberate  his  mistress.     Do  you  confess  it  ?     Speak  out. 

Pseud.  Tea,  verily ;  yea,  verily.  Simo.  He  confesses  it. 
Didn't  I  tell  you  so  just  now,  Callipho  ? 

Call.  So  I  remember.  Simo.  Why,  directly  you  knew  of 
these  things,  were  they  kept  concealed  from  me  ?  Why 
wasn't  I  made  acquainted  with  them  ? 

Pseud.  I'll  tell  you :  because  I  was  unwilling  that  a  bad 
custom  should  originate  in  me,  for  a  servant  to  accuse  his 
master  before  his  master. 

Simo.  Wouldn't  you  order  this  fellow  to  be  dragged 
head  first  to  the  treadmill2  ? 

Call.  Has  he  done  anything  amiss,  Simo  ? 
.  Simo.  Tes,  very  much  so.  Pseud,  (to  Callipho).  Be 
quiet,  I  quite  well  understand  my  own  affairs,  Callipho.  Is 
this  a  fault  ?  Now  then,  give  your  attention  to  the  reason 
why  I  you  kept  ignorant  of  this  amour.  I  knew  that  the 
treadmill  was  close  at  hand,  if  I  told  you. 

Simo.  And  didn't  you  know,  as  well,  that  the  treadmill 
would  be  close  at  hand  when  you  kept  silent  on  it  ? 

Pseud.  I  did  know  it.  Simo.  Why  wasn't  it  told 
me? 

1  Yea,  verily') — Ver.  483.  Nat  yap.  This  and  the  two  following  remarks  of 
Pseudolus  are  in  Greek.  The  Eomans  affected  curtness  of  repartee  in  Greek,  in 
much  the  same  manner  as  we  do  in  French.  A  cant  tone  has  been  attempted  in 
the  translation  to  be  given  to  the  remarks  so  made  by  Pseudolus. 

2  To  the  treadmill)— Ver.  494.  "  Pistrinum."  The  establishment  of  each 
wealthy  person  had  its  "  pistrinum,"  or  "  handmill,"  where  the  mill  for  grinding 
corn  was  worked  by  the  hand  of  slaves.  The  most  worthless  and  refractory 
were  employed  at  this  labour,  and  as  the  task  was  deemed  a  degradation,  the 
"  pistrinum"  was  the  usual  place  of  punishment  for  the  slaves  of  tr  e  household. 
Throughout  this  translation,  the  liberty  has  been  in  general  taken  of  conveying 
the  meaning  of  the  terra  by  the  use  of  th«  word  "  treadmill." 


280  PSEUDOLTJS  ;  Act  I. 

Pseud.  The  one  evil  was  close  at  hand,  the  other  at  a 
greater  distance ;  the  one  was  at  the  moment,  the  other  was 
a  few  days  off. 

Simo.  What  will  yon  be  doing  now  ?  For  assuredly  the 
money  cannot  be  gjt  in  this  quarter  out  of  me,  who  have 
especially  detected  it.  I  shall  forthwith  give  notice  to  all 
that  no  one  is  to  trust  him  the  money. 

Pseud.  I'  faith,  I'll  never  go  begging  to  any  person,  so 
long,  at  all  events,  as  you  shall  be  alive  ;  troth,  you  shall  find 
me  the  money ;  and  as  for  me,  I  shall  take  it  from  you. 

Simo.  You,  take  it  from  me  ?     Pseud.  Undoubtedly. 

Simo.  Troth,  now,  knock  out  my  eye,  if  I  do  find  it. 

Pseud.  You  shall  provide  it.  I  warn  you  then  to  be  on 
your  guard  against  me. 

Simo.  By  my  troth,  I  know  this  for  sure  ;  if  you  do  take  it 
away,  you  will  have  done  a  wonderful  and  a  great  exploit. 

Pseud.  I  will  do  it,  however.  Simo.  But  if  you  don't 
carry  it  off? 

Pseud.  Then  flog  me  with  rods.  But  what  if  I  do  carry 
it  off? 

Simo.  I  give  you  Jupiter  as  your  witness,  that  you  shall 
pass  your  life  free  from  punishment. 

Pseud.  Take  care  and  remember  that.  Simo.  Could  1 
possibly  be  unable  to  be  on  my  guard,  who  am  forewarned  ? 

Pseud.  I  forewarn  you  to  be  on  your  guard.  I  say  you 
must  be  on  your  guard,  I  tell  you.  Keep  watch.  Look,  now, 
with  those  same  hands  will  you  this  day  give  me  the  money 

Simo.  By  my  troth,  'tis  a  clever  mortal  if  he  keeps  his 
word. 

Pseud.  Carry  me  away  to  be  your  slave  if  I  don't  do  it. 

Simo.  You  speak  kindly  and  obligingly ;  for  at  present  you 
are  not  mine,  I  suppose. 

Pseud.  "Would  you  like  me  to  tell  you,  too,  wh&t  you  will 
still  more  wonder  at  ? 

Simo.  Come,  then ;  i'  faith,  I  long  to  hear  it ;  I  listen  to 
you  with  pleasure. 

Pseud.  Before  I  fight  that  battle,  I  shall  first  fight  another 
battle,  famous  and  memorable. 

Simo.  What  battle?  Pseud.  Why,  with  the  procurer, 
your  neighbour ;  by  means  of  stratagem  and  artful  trbks,  I'll 
cleverly  bamboozle  the  procurer  out  of  this  music-girl,  witb 


8c.  Y.  OB,  THE  CHEAT.  281 

whom  your  son  is  so  desperately  in  love ;  and  I  surely  will 
oave  both  of  these  things  effected  this  very  day,  before  the 
evening. 

Simo.  Well,  if  you  accomplish  these  tasks  as  you  say,  you 
will  surpass  in  might  King  Agathocles1.  But  if  you  don't  do 
it,  is  there  any  reason  why  I  shouldn't  forthwith  put  you  in 
the  treadmill  ? 

Pseud.  Not  for  one  day,  but,  i'  faith,  for  all,  whatever  the 
time.  But  if  I  effect  it,  will  you  not  at  once  give  me  the 
money  of  your  own  free  will  for  me  to  pay  to  the  procurer  ? 

Call.  Pseudolus  is  making  a  fair  claim  ;  say  "  I'll  give  it." 

Simo.  But  still,  do  you  know  what  comes  into  my  mind  ? 
Suppose  they  have  made  an  arrangement,  Callipho,  among 
themselves,  or  are  acting  in  concert,  and  on  a  preconcerted 
plan,  to  bamboozle  me  out  of  the  money  ? 

Pseud.  "Who  would  be  more  audacious  than  myself,  if  I 
dared  to  do  such  an  action  ?  Well,  Simo,  if  we  are  thus  in 
collusion,  or  have  ever  arranged  any  plan,  do  you  mark  me 
quite  all  over  with  elm-tree  stripes2,  just  as  when  letters  are 
written  in  a  book  with  a  reed. 

Simo.  Now  then,  proclaim  the  games  as  soon  as  you 
please. 

Pseud.  Give  me  your  attention,  Callipho,  I  beg  you,  for 
this  day,  so  that  you  may  not  any  way  employ  yourself  upon 
other  business. 

Call.  Why,  now,  I  had  made  up  my  mind  yesterday  to  go 
into  the  country. 

Pseud.  Still,  do  you  now  change  the  plan  which  you  haor 
resolved  upon. 

Call.  I  am  now  resolved  not  to  go  away  on  account  of 
this ;  I  have  an  inclination  to  be  a  spectator  of  your  games, 
Pseudolus ;  and  if  I  shall  find  that  he  doesn't  give  you  the 
money  which  he  has  promised,  rather  than  it  shouldn't  be 
done,  I'll  give  it. 

1  King  Agathocles) — Ver.  332.  Agathocles  was  famous  for  having  risen,  by 
his  valour  and  merit,  from  being  the  son  of  a  potter  to  be  the  King  of  Sicily. 

2  With  elm-tree  stripes) — Ver.  545.  "  Stylis  ulmeis,"  "  with  elm-tree  styli." 
He  alludes  to  the  weals  produced  by  flogging  with  elm-tree  rods,  which,  being 
long  and  fine,  would    ^semble  the  iron  "stylus"  used  for  writing  upon  wa» 


282  pseudolus  ;  Act  II. 

Simo.  I  shall  not  change  my  purpose. 

Pseud.  Because,  by  my  faith,  if  you  don't  give  it,  you  shall 
be  dunned  for  it  with  clamour  great  and  plenteous.  Come, 
now,  move  yourselves  off  hence  into  the  house  this  instant, 
and  in  turn  give  room  for  my  tricks. 

Simo.  Be  it  so.     Call.  You  may  have  your  way. 

Pseud.  But  I  want  you  to  keep  close  at  home. 

Simo.  Well,  that  assistance  I  promise  you. 

Call.  But  I  shall  be  off  to  the  Forum.  I'll  be  back  here 
presently.     (Exit  Calltpho.     Simo  goes  into  his  house.) 

Pseud.  Be  back  directly.  (To  the  Audience.)  I  have  a 
suspicion,  now,  that  you  are  suspecting  that  I  have  been  pro- 
mising these  so  great  exploits  to  these  persons  for  the  pur- 
pose of  amusing  you,  while  I  am  acting  this  play,  and  that  I 
shall  not  do  that  which  I  said  I  will  do.  I  will  not  change 
my  design  ;  so  far  as  that  then  I  know  for  certain ;  by  what 
means  I'm  to  carry  it  out  not  at  all  do  I  know  as  yet ;  only 
this,  that  so  it  shall  be.  For  he  that  appears  upon  the  stage 
in  a  new  character,  him  it  befits  to  bring  something  that  is 
new.  If  he  cannot  do  that,  let  him  give  place  to  him  who  can. 
I  am  inclined  to  go  hence  into  the  house  for  some  little  time, 
while  I  summon  together1  all  my  stratagems  in  my  mind. 
Meanwhile  this  piper  shall  entertain  you.  (Goes  into  the 
house  of  Simo,  and  the  Piper  strikes  up  a  tune.) 


Act  II. — Scene  I. 

Enter  Pseudolus, /row  the  house  of  Simo. 

Pseud.  0  Jupiter,  whatever  I  undertake,  how  cleverly 
and  how  fortunately  does  it  befal  me.  Not  any  plan  is  there 
stored  up  in  my  breast  that  I  can  hesitate  upon  or  be  afraid 
of.  But  it  is  folly  to  entrust  a  bold  exploit  to  a  timorous 
heart ;  for  all  things  are  just  as  you  make  them,  so  as  you 
make  them  of  importance.  JSTow  in  my  breast  have  I  already 
so  prepared  my  forces — double,  aye,  threefold  stratagems,  that 
when  I  engage  with  the  enemy,  relying  upon  the  merits,  I 

1  While  I  summon  together) — Ver.  572.  "  Dum  concenturio."  Tins  word 
.iterally  means,  "to  collect  together  the  centuries,"  or  "  companies  of  a  hundred 
aien,"  for  the  purpose  of  giving  their  votes. 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  CHEAT.  283 

say,  of  my  forefathers,  and  on  my  own  industry  and  tricking 
propensity  for  mischief,  I  may  easily  conquer,  and  easily  spoil 
my  antagonists  by  my  contrivances.  Now  will  I  adroitly  batter 
down  this  Ballio1,  the  common  foe  of  me  and  all  of  you ;  only 
lend  me  your  attention.  Now  will  I  forthwith  draw  out  my 
legions  against  this  old  town.  If  I  take  it,  I  shall  make  it  a 
pleasant  matter  for  the  citizens :  I'll  load  and  fill  myself,  and 
my  allies  as  well,  with  booty  from  it.  I  shall  strike  terror  and 
fright  into  my  enemies,  so  that  they  may  know  of  what  race 
I  was  born.  Great  exploits  it  befits  me  to  perform,  which 
long  after  may  bespeak  fame  for  me.  But  whom  do  I  see 
here?  "Who's  this  low  fellow  that's  presented  before  my 
eyes  ?  I  should  like  to  know  why  he's  come  here  with  his 
sword :  I'  troth,  now  then  I'll  lie  here  in  ambush  for  him, 
\o  see  the  business  that  he's  about.     (Retires  to  a  distanced 

Scene  II. — Enter  Harpax,  with  a  lag  in  Ms  hand. 

Har.  This  is  the  place,  and  this  the  spot,  which  was 
pointed  out  to  me  by  my  master,  according  as  I  form  a 
judgment  from  my  eyesight.  For  my  master,  the  Captain,, 
told  me  to  this  effect,  that  the  house  was  the  seventh  from 
the  gate,  in  which  lives  the  person  to  whom  he  requested  me 
to  carry  the  token  and  this  silver  *  *  *  *  * 
I  could  vastly  wish  that  some  one  would  inform  me  where 
this  Ballio,  the  procurer,  lives.     (Looks  from  side  to  side.) 

Pseud,  (apart).  Hist!  Silence!  This  man  is  mine,  unless 
all  G-ods  and  men  forsake  me.  Now  have  I  need  of  a 
new  plan ;  this  new  scheme  is  suddenly  presented  to  me. 
This  I  prefer  to  my  former  one ;  that  I  shall  dismiss,  which, 
before,  I  had  commenced  to  carry  into  effect.  By  my  troth, 
I'll  then  work  this  military  messenger  that's  just  arrived. 

Har.  I'll  knock  at  the  door,  and  call  some  one  out  of 
doors  from  within.  (Goes  towards  the  door  of  Ballio' s 
house.) 

Pseud,  (coming  up  to  him).  "Whoever  you  are,  I  wish  you 
to  spare  your  knocking ;  for  I've  just  come  out  of  doors, 
I,  the  spokesman  and  the  defender  of  the  door. 

1  Batter  down  this  Ballio)— Ver.  585.  "  Ballionem  exbalistabo."  He  playi 
upon  the  resemblance  of  the  name  of  Ballio  to  the  "  balista,"or  "engine  of  war." 


2S4  FSEUDOLUS;  Act  II. 

Hae.  Are  you  Ballio  ?  Pseud.  "Why,  no ;  but  I'm  the 
deputy-Ballio1. 

Hae.  What  means  that  expression?  Pseud.  I'm  his 
butler-steward2  ;  the  caterer  for  his  larder. 

Hae.  As  though  you  were  to  say,  you  are  his  chamber- 
lain3. 

Pseud.  No  ;  I'm  above  his  chamberlain. 

Hae.  "What  are  you,  slave  or  free  man  ? 

Pseud.  Why,  at  present,  I'm  still  a  slave. 

Hae.  So  you  seem  to  be ;  and  you  don't  look  to  be  one 
worthy  to  be  free. 

Pseud.  Ain't  you  in  the  habit  of  looking  at  yourself  when 
you  abuse  another  person  ? 

Hae.  (aside).  This  must  be  a  roguish  fellow. 

Pseud,  (aside).  The  Gods  protect  and  favour  me!  for  this 
is  my  anvil :  this  day  will  I  hammer  out  thence  full  many  a 
device. 

Hae.  Why  is  he  talking  to  himself  alone  ? 

Pseud.  How  say  you,  young  man ? 

Hae.  What  is  it?  Pseud.  Are  you,  or  are  you  not, 
from  that  Captain  of  Macedonia  ?  The  servant  of  him,  1 
mean,  who  bought  a  damsel  of  us  here,  who  gave  fifteen 
silver  minae  to  the  procurer,  my  master,  and  is  still  owing 
five? 

Hae.  I  am.  But  where  in  the  world  have  you  eopr 
known  me,  or  have  ever  seen  or  spoken  to  me  ?  For  in 
fact,  before  this  day,  I  never  was  at  Athens,  nor  did  I  ever 
before  this  day  behold  you  with  my  eyes         *  *  * 

#  #  #  #  #  #  # 

Pseud.  Because  you  seem  likely  to  be  from  him ;  for  at 
the  time  when  he  went  away,  this  was  the  day  appointed 
for  the  money,  on  which  he  was  to  pay  it  to  us,  and  he  has 
not  brought  it  as  yet. 

1  The  deputy-Ballio)— V er.  607.    In  the  Latin  "  subballio." 
8  His  butler- steward) — Ver.  608.  "  Condus-promus"  was  the  title  given  to  the 
slave  who  had  charge  of  the  "  storerooms,"  or  "  cellse,"  in  the  Roman  establish- 
ments.   The  office  answered  to  those  of  our  housekeeper  and  butler  combined. 

3  His  chamberlain) — Ver.  609.  "  Atriensis"  was  the  title  of  the  slave  ia 
whose  caa-ge  was  the  "  atrium,"  or  large  hall,  or  centra!  room  on  the  ground 
flocr. 


SC.  II.  OE,  THE  CHEAT.  285 

Hae.  Yes,  here  it  is.     {Holding  up  the  bag.} 

Pseud.  What  ? — have  you  brought  it  ? 

Hae.  I,  myself.  Pseud.  Do  you  at  all  hesitate  to  give 
it  ine? 

Hae.  I,  give  it  you  ? 

Pseud.  Aye,  faith,  to  me,  who  manage  the  business  and 
the  accounts  of  my  master  Ballio,  receive  his  money,  and  pay 
it  to  him  to  whom  he  owes  it. 

Hae.  By  my  troth,  if  you  were  even  the  keeper  of  the 
treasures  of  supreme  Jove,  I  would  never  entrust  a  groat 
of  silver  to  you. 

Pseud,  (pointing).  "While  you've  been  making  yourself  so 
big,  the  money  has  become  loose1. 

Hae.  I'll  keep  it  the  rather  tied  up  —  this  way.  (Ties 
the  mouth  of  the  bag.)  , 

Pseud.  Woe  to  you!  Tou  indeed  have  been  found  to 
doubt  my  honor.  As  though  innumerable  times  as  much 
are  not  in  the  habit  of  being  entrusted  to  me  alone. 

Hae.  It's  possible  that  others  may  think  so,  and  that  I 
mayn't  trust  you. 

Pseud.  As  though  you  meant  to  say  that  I  wished  to 
chouse  you  out  of  the  money. 

Hae.  Why,  yes ;  as  though  you  meant  to  say  so ;  and  as 
though  I,  on  the  other  hand,  meant  to  suspect  it.  But  what's 
your  name  ? 

Pseud,  (aside).  This  procurer  has  a  servant  of  the  name 
of  Syrus ;  I'll  say  that  I  am  he.     I  am  Syrus. 

Hae.  Syrus  ?      Pseud.  That's  my  name. 

Hae.  We  are  making  many  words.  If  your  master's  at 
home,  why  don't  you  call  him  out,  that  I  may  transact  that 
Dr  which  I  was  sent  here,  whatever  be  your  name  ? 

Pseud.  If  he  were  within  I  would  call  him  out.  But  if 
you  choose  to  give  it  me,  it  will  be  more  truly  paid  than  if 
you  were  to  give  it  to  himself. 

Hae.  But  now  do  you  know  how  it  is  ?  My  master  has 
sent  me  to  pay  this,  not  to  lose  it.  But  I  know,  to  a  cer- 
tainty, that  you  are  in  a  fever  now,  because  you  cannot  lay 

1  Has  become  loose) — Ver.  629.  This  passage  is  of  obscure  meaning ;  very  pos- 
gibly,  however,  while  Harpax  has  been  vapouring,  the  mouth  of  the  bag  containing 
the  money  has  become  loose,  to  which  Pseudolus  draws  his  attention. 


286  PSEUDOLUS ;  Act  H 

your  claws  upon  it.  I  shall  entrust  the  money  to  no  person 
except  to  Ballio  himself. 

Pseud.  But  at  present  he's  full  of  business :  a  cause  of 
his  is  being  tried  before  the  judge. 

Hae.  May  the  Gods  prosper  it!  And  I,  when  I  shall 
think  that  he's  at  home,  will  come  again.  Do  you  take  this 
letter  from  me,  and  give  it  him:  for  in  it  is  the  token 
agreed  upon  between  your  master  and  mine  about  the 
damsel. 

Pseud.  For  my  part,  I  understand  it ;  the  person  who 
should  bring  the  money  and  the  impress  of  his  likeness 
hither  to  us,  with  him  he  said  he  wished  the  damsel  to  be 
sent ;  for  he  left  a  specimen  of  it  here  as  well. 

Hae.  You  understand  the  whole  affair  ? 

Pseud.  Why  should  I  not  understand  it  ? 

Hae.  Give  him  this  token  then.  (  Gives  the  letter  and  token.) 

Pseud.  Very  well.     But  what's  your  name  ? 

Hae.  Harpax.  Pseud.  Get  along  with  you,  Harpax,  I 
like  you  not.  By  my  troth,  you  really  shan't  enter  this 
house,  lest  you  should  be  doing  something  in  the  harpy  line1. 

Hae.  I  am  wont  to  carry  off  my  enemies  alive  from  the 
battle-field ;  from  that  circmnstance  is  my  name. 

Pseud.  I'  faith,  I  think  that  you  are  much  more  likely  to 
carry  off  the  brass  pots  from  a  house. 

Hae.  Such  is  not  the  fact.  But,  Syrus,  do  you  know 
what  I  request  of  you  ? 

Pseud.  I  shall  know,  if  you  tell  me. 

Hae.  I  shall  put  up  outside  of  the  gate  here,  at  the  third 
shop,  at  the  house  of  that  tun-bellied,  limping,  fat  old  woman, 
Chrysis. 

Pseud.  What  do  you  wish  then  ?  Hae.  That  you'll  fetch 
me  thence  when  your  master  comes. 

Pseud.  At  your  pleasure  ;  by  all  means. 

Hae.  For,  as  I've  come  wearied  off  my  journey,  I  wish  to 
refresh  myself. 

Pseud.  Tou  are  very  wise,  and  your  plan  is  agreable 
to  me.  But  take  care,  please,  that  you  are  not  out  of  the 
way  when  I  send  for  you. 

1  In  the  harpy  line) — Ver.  654.  He  alludes  to  his  name,  as  having  the  Gfreek 
verb  cupjrdfa,  "  to  plunder,"  or  M  to  carry  off  by  force,"  for  its  origin. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  CHEAT.  287 

Har.  Why,  when  I've  dined,  I  shall  indulge  myseli  with 
a  nap. 

Pseud.  I  quite  agree  with  you.  Har.  Do  you  wish  aught 
else  ? 

Pseud.  .That  you'll  be  off  to  take  your  nap. 

Har.  I'm  off.  Pseud.  And,  do  you  hear,  Harpax  ?  Order 
yourself  to  be  covered  up,  please ;  you'll  receive  the  benefit 
if  you  take  a  good  sweat.  {Exit  Harpax. 

Scene  III. — Pseudolus,  alone. 
Pseud.  Immortal  Gods !  this  man  has  preserved  me  by  his 
coming.  By  his  supply  for  my  journey  he  has  brought  me  from 
my  wanderings  quite  into  the  right  way.  For  the  Goddess 
Opportunity  herself  could  not  come  to  me  more  opportunely, 
than  has  this  letter  in  this  opportune  manner  been  brought  to 
me.  For  this  has  been  brought  as  a  horn  of  plenty1,  in  which 
there  is  whatever  I  wish  for :  here  are  my  wiles,  here  all 
my  tricks,  here  my  stratagems,  here  my  money,  here  his  mis- 
tress for  my  master's  son  so  much  in  love.  And  now  how 
vaunting  shall  I  show  myself ;  how,  with  a  breast  so  fertile 
in  expedients,  I  was  to  do  each  thing,  how,  to  steal  away  the 
damsel  from  the  procurer,  I  had  all  my  plans  arranged  in 
order  in  my  mind  as  I  desired,  fixed,  planned  out.  But, 
no  doubt,  thus  will  it  come  to  pass  :  this  Goddess  Fortune, 
unaided,  prevails  over  the  designs  of  a  hundred  armed  men. 
And  this  is  the  fact,  just  as  each  person  uses  his  fortune,  so 
does  he  surpass  others,  and  forthwith  we  all  pronounce  him 
wise.  When  we  learn  that  the  counsels  of  any  person  have 
turned  out  well,  we  declare  that  he  is  a  prudent  man ;  but 
that  he  is  a  fool  who  is  unsuccessful.  In  our  folly  we  know 
not  how  much  we  are  mistaken,  when  we  eagerly  wish  -any- 

1  A  horn  of  plenty') — Ver.  671.  He  alludes  to  the  "  Cornucopia,"  or  "  horn  of 
plenty,"  of  the  heathen  Mythology,  respecting  which  we  find  varying  accounts  in 
the  ancient  writers.  Some  say  that  by  it  was  meant  the  horn  of  the  goat  Amal- 
then,  which  suckled  Jupiter,  and  that  the  Nymphs  gave  it  to  Acheloiis,  who  after- 
wards exchanged  it  for  the  horn  of  which  Hercules  afterwards  deprived  him  in  the 
contest  for  the  hand  of  Deianira.  Ovid,  in  the  Ninth  Book  of  the  Metamorphoses, 
represents  it  as  being  the  same  horn  which  was  broken  off  by  Hercules.  "  And  that 
was  not  enough:  while  his  relentless  right  hand  was  holding  my  stubborn  horn, 
he  broke  it,  and  tore  it  away  from  my  mutilated  forehead.  This  heaped  with 
fruit  and  odoriferous  flowers,  the  Nymphs  have  consecrated,  and  the  bounteois 
Goddess  Plenty  is  enriched  by  my  horn." 


28S  PSEUDOLUS  ;  Act  II. 

thing  to  be  given  to  us ;  as  though  we  ourselves  could  possibly 
know  what  is  for  our  advantage.  We  lose  what  is  certain,  while 
we  are  seeking  what  is  uncertain.  And  this  comes  to  pasM, 
amid  labours  and  amid  sorrow,  that  death  meanwhile  comes 
creeping  on.  But  there's  enough  now  of  philosophizing ;  I 
have  been  talking  too  long,  and  at  too  great  length.  Immortal 
Gods!  my  lie  was  not  dear  at  its  weight  in  double-distilled  gold, 
which  I  just  now  trumped  up  here  on  the  spur  of  the  moment, 
when  I  said  that  I  belonged  to  the  procurer.  Now,  through 
this  letter  shall  I  deceive  three  persons — my  master,  and  the 
procurer,  and  him  who  gave  me  this  letter.  Excellent! 
another  thing  as  well  has  happened,  that  I  wished  for :  see, 
Calidorus  is  coming;  he  is  bringing  some  one  with  him,  I 
know  not  whom.     {Stands  apart.) 

Scene  IV. — Enter  Calidorus  and  Charinus. 

Cal.  The  sweets  and  the  bitters,  all  have  I  disclosed  to 
you.  Tou  know  my  love,  you  know  my  difficulty,  you  know 
my  poverty. 

Char.  I  well  remember  all ;  do  you  only  let  me  know  what 
you  want  me  to  do. 

Cal.  Pseudolus  has  directed  me  thus,  that  I  should  bring 
to  him  some  bold  and  zealous  person. 

Char.  Tou  observe  your  directions  well;  for  you  bring 
Mm  one  both  friendly  and  zealous.  But  this  Pseudolus '  is 
a  stranger  to  me. 

Cal.  He  is  a  very  clever  fellow — he  is  my  contriver.  He 
said  that  he  would  effect  those  things  for  me  that  I  have 
told  you  of. 

Pseud,  {apart).  I'll  address  this  person  in  a  very  lofty 
strain. 

Cal.  Whose  voice  is  it  that's  heard  here  ? 

Pseud.  Oh !  thee,  sovereign  lord,  thee,  oh !  thee  do  I 
address  who  dost  rule  over  Pseudolus :  thee  do  I  seek,  to 
impart  to  thee  delights  thrice  three,  threefold,  acquired  by 
three  contrivances,  obtained  over  three  persons  through 
craftiness  and  through  subtlety,  which  in  this  very  little 
sealed  packet  I  have  brought  unto  you1.  {Holds  up  the  letter.) 

1 1  have  brought  unto  you) — Ver.  706.  The  note  of  interrogation  at  the  end  3/ 
this  passage,  as  found  in  Kitschel's  Edition,  seems  to  be  out  of  place. 


Se.  IV.  OH,  THE  CHEAT.  283 

Cal.  That's  the  fellow ;  how  the  hang-dog  does  bluster 
just  like  a  tragedian. 

Pseud.  Advance  a  step  on  thy  side  towards  me.  Boldly 
stretch  forth  thine  arm  for  greeting. 

Cal.  (taking  his  hand).  Tell  me,  Pseudolus,  whether,  ar 
Hope  or  as  Safety,  must  I  greet  you  ? 

Pseud.  "Why  both.  Cal.  As  both  I  greet  you.  But 
what  has  been  done  ?  Why  are  you  silent  ?  I  have  carried 
this  person  here.     (Pointing  to  Chaeinus.) 

Pseud.  How  ?  Carried  him  here  ?  Cal.  Brought,  I  meant 
to  say. 

Pseud.  Who's  this  person  ?     Cal.  Charinus. 

Pseud.  Well  done  ;  I  return  him  thanks1  then. 

Chae.  Will  you  then  boldly  enjoin  me  what  it  is  neces- 
sary to  do  ? 

Pseud.  My  thanks,  so  far.  May  it  be  well  with  you,  Cha- 
rinus ;  I  don't  like  that  we  should  be  troublesome  to  you. 

Chae.  You,  troublesome  to  me  ?  Now,  really,  that's 
troublesome. 

Pseud.  Well,  then,  wait  a  moment.  (Takes  the  letter  out 
from  under  his  dress.) 

Cal.  What's  that?  Pseud.  This  letter  have  I  just  now 
intercepted,  and  the  token. 

Cal.  Token  ?  What  token  ?  Pseud.  The  one  that  was 
brought  just  now  from  the  Captain.  His  servant,  who  was 
bringing  it,  with  five  minsa  of  silver,  who  came  to  fetch  your 
mistress  hence,  him  I  have  just  now  bamboozled. 

Cal.  How  so  ?  Pseud.  For  the  sake  of  these  Spectators 
the  play  is  being  performed ;  they  know,  who  were  present 
here ;  you  I'll  tell  at  another  time. 

Cal.  What  are  we  to  do  then  ? 

Pseud.  You  shall  this  day  embrace  your  mistress  at 
liberty. 

Cal.  What,  I  ?     Pseud.  You  yourself. 

Cal.  I  ?  Pseud.  Your  own  self,  I  say,  if  indeed  this 
head  shall  exist  so  long ;  if  you'll  only  quickly  find  me  out 
a  man. 

Chae.  Of  what  description  ?  Pseud.  A  cunning,  crafty, 
and  clever   one,  who,  when  he  has  once  taken  hold  of  the 

1  Return  him  thanks) — Ver.  712.  x°-Plv  t°utg)  ttoiu).  He  speaks  in  Greek  for 
toe  purpose  of  punning  on  tne  name  of  Charinus  in  the  word  \dpiv,  "thanks." 

U 


290  PSEUDOLUS  ;  Act  II. 

beginning,  may  by  his  own  ingenuity  still  hold  fast  upon 
what  it  behoves  him  to  do ;  one,  too,  who  has  not  often  been 
seen  here. 

Char.  If  he  is  a  slave,  does  that  matter  at  all  ? 

Pseud.  Why,  I'd  much  rather  have  him  than  a  free 
man. 

Char.  I  think  that  I'm  able  to  procure  for  you  a  cunning 
and  clever  fellow,  that  has  lately  come  to  my  father  from 
Carystus1,  and  hasn't  as  yet  gone  anywhere  out  the  house, 
and  who  never  visited  Athens  before  yesterday. 

Pseud.  You  assist  in  right  earnest.  But  I  have  need  to 
borrow  five  minae  of  silver,  which  I  shall  repay  this  day,  for 
his  father  (pointing  to  Calidorus)  owes  it  me. 

Char.  I'll  lend  it ;  don't  seek  it  anywhere  else. 

Pseud.  O,  how  convenient  a  person  for  me.  I  have  need 
of  a  scarf  as  well,  a  sword,  and  a  broad-brimmed  hat. 

Char.  I  can  provide  them  from  my  house.  Pseud.  Im- 
mortal G-ods !  surely  this  is  not  Charinus  for  me,  but  Abun- 
dance. But  this  servant,  who  is  come  here  from  Carystus," 
is  there  anything  in  him  ? 

Char.  Plenty  of  the  stinking  goat2  in  Mm. 

Pseud.  It  befits  the  fellow,  then,  to  have  a  tunic  witli 
long  sleeves3.     Has  the  chap  anything  sharp4  in  his  breast  ? 

Char.  Aye,  of  the  very  sharpest.  Pseud  But  if  it  is 
necessary  for  him  to  draw  forth  what  is  sweet  from  the 
same  place,  has  he  aught  of  that? 

Char.  Do  you  ask  that  ?     He  has  wine  of  myrrh,  sweet 

1  From  Carystus) — Ver.  730.  This  was  a  city  of  Eubcea,  opposite  the  Lsle  of 
Andros. 

-  The  stinking  goat) — Ver.  738.  He  cannot  resist  the  temptation  of  a  pun, 
though  a  somewhat  unsavoury  one.  Pseudolus  asks  if  this  servant  of  Charinus 
is  at  all  sharp.  "  Quid  sapit  ?"  The  same  words  also  admit  of  the  meaning,  "  does 
he  smell  of  anything?"  On  which  Charinus  gives  him  answer,  as  though  the 
question  had  been  put  in  the  latter  sense,  "  Yes,  of  the  goat  under  the  arm-pits." 
The  Romans,  who  were  fond  of  giving  a  name  to  everything,  whether  it  was  wortli 
it  or  not,  called  the  strong  smell  produced  by  the  glands  of  the  arm-pits  by  the 
name  of  "  hircus,"  "  the  goat,"  by  reason  of  the  rank  smell  of  that  animal. 

3  Tunic  with  long  sleeves)— Ver.  738.  On  this  dirty  answer  being  given  him, 
Pesudolus  says,  "  Well,  then,  he  must  have  an  under-garment  with  long  sleeves," 
"  manuleata  tunica,"  in  order  to  suppress  the  offensive  smell.  The  use  of  the 
long-sleeved  tunic  w&B  considered  to  denote  great  effeminacy. 

4  Anything  sharp) — Ver.  739.  "  Ecquid  aceti."  Literally,  "  any  vinegar."  This 
word  sometimes  signifies  "caustic  wit"  or  "raillery."  Here  it  denotes  "natut.^ 
fchrewdnes6.'* 


Sc.  IV.  OE,  THE  CHEAT.  291 

raisin  wine,  spice  wine1,  honey  wine,  sweets  of  every  sort. 
Why,  he  once  began  to  set  up  a  hot  liquor-shop  in  his  breast. 

Pseud.  Bravissi  o!  Why,  Charinus,  you  beat  me  cleverly2 
at  my  own  game.  But  what  am  I  to  say  is  the  name  of  this 
servant  ? 

Chae.  Simmia.  Pseud.  In  a  difficulty,  does  he  under- 
stand how  to  twirl  about  ? 

Chae.  A  whirlwind3  is  not  so  ready  as  lie. 

Pseud.  Is  he  shrewd  at  all  ?  Chae.  In  mischievous 
tricks4  very  often. 

Pseud.  How,  when  he's  caught  in  the  fact  ? 

Chae.  He's  a  very  eel;  he  slips  out. 

Pseud.  Is  this  fellow  an  experienced  one  ? 

Chae.  A  public  ordinance5  is  not  more  experienced. 

Pseud.  He  is  a  suitable  person,  according  to  what  I  hear 
you  say. 

Chae.  Aye,  and  from  this  you  may  know  it.  When  he 
looks  at  you  he'll  tell,  of  his  own  accord,  wrhat  it  is  you 
want  with  him.     But  what  are  you  about  to  do  ? 

Pseud.  I'll  tell  you.  When  I've  dressed  up  my  man,  I 
intend  to  make  him  become  the  pretended  servant  of  the 
Captain ;  let  him  take  this  token  to  the  procurer,  with  five 
minae  of  silver.  There's  the  whole  plot  for  you.  As  for 
the  rest,  in  what  way  he  is  to  do  each  thing,  I'll  instruct 
himself. 

1  Raisin  wine,  spice  wine) — Ver.  741.  "  Passum"  was  wine  made  from  grapes 
dried  in  the  sun.  "  Defrutum"  was  new  wine  boiled  down  to  one-half  with  herbs 
and  spices  to  make  it  keep. 

2  You  beat  me  cleverly) — Ver.  743.  "  Lamberas."  The  verb  "  lambero" 
generally  signifies  "  to  tear  in  pieces." 

3  A  whirlwind) — Ver.  745.  "  Turbo"  may  mean  either  a  "  spinning-"  or  "  whip- 
ping-top," or  a  "  whirlwind,"  here. 

4  In  mischievous  tricks) — Ver.  746.  "  Argutus,"  as  an  adjective,  signifies  "  clever," 
"  shrewd."  As  the  past  participle  of  the  verb  "  arguo,"  it  means  "  accused." 
Pseudolus  asks  if  he  is  "shrewd,''  "  argutus ;"  to  which  the  other  answers  eva- 
sively, "  0  yes  (he  has  been  accused,"  "  argutus  "),  "  of  mischievous  tricks  very 
often." 

5  A  public  ordinance) — Ver.  748.  The  "plebiscita"  among  the  Romans  were 
the  public  ordinances,  which  were  proposed  by  the  Tribunes  at  the  "  Comitia 
Tr;tat°."  of  the  people.  He  puns  upon  the  resemblance  of  the  word  "scitus," 
which  means  "knowing,"  and  "scitum"  signifying  "an  ordinance."  Is  he 
"  scitus,"  "  knowing?"  "  0  yes,  a  public  ordinance  "  "  scitum,"  "  is  not,  more 
knowing,"  "  scitus,"  "  than  he  is." 

u2 


£92  PSEUDOLl'S  ;  Act  III. 

Cal.  Why,  therefore,  do  we  stand  here  then  ? 

Pseud.  Bring  the  fellow  to  me  just  now,  dressed  out  with 
all  his  accoutrements,  to  ^Eschinus,  the  banker's.  But  make 
all  haste. 

Cal.  We'll  be  there  before  you. 

Pseud.  Get  you  gone  there  quickly.  (Calidorus  and 
Charinus  go  into  Simo's  house.)  AVhatever  before  was  un- 
certain or  doubtful  in  my  mind,  is  now  clear — now  fined  to 
the  dregs ;  my  heart  has  now  an  open  path.  All  my  legions 
will  I  lead  forth  under  their  standards  with  happy  omen1 
with  favorable  auspices,  and  to  my  heart's  content.  I  have 
a  certainty  that  I  can  rout  my  enemies.  Now  will  I  go  to 
the  Forum,  and  load  Simmia  with  my  instructions  what  he 
is  to  do,  that  he  may  not  be  tripping  at  all,  and  that  he 
may  cleverly  lay  the  train  for  this  plot.  Soon  now  shall  I 
cause  the  town  of  this  procurer  to  be  carried  by  storm. 

{Exit. 

Act  III. — Scene  I. 

Enter  a  Boy  from  the  house  o/'Ballio. 

Boy.  On  that  Boy  on  whom  the  Grods  bestow  servitude 
under  a  procurer,  when  they  add  a  base  occupation  as  well, 
assuredly  do  they,  so  far  as  I  now  understand  in  my  mind, 
bestow  upon  him  a  great  misfortune  and  miseries  manifold. 
Just  as  this  servitude  has  turned  out  to  me,  where  I  am  set 
over  duties  great  and  small ;  nor  am  I  able  to  find  any 
admirer  to  love  me,  so  that  at  length  I  might  be  fitted  out 
in  a  little  better  guise.  Now  this  day  is  the  birthday  of  this 
procurer.  The  procurer  lias  made  a  determination,  from 
the  lowest  to  the  highest,  that  if  each  one  does  not  this  day 
send  him  a  present,  he  shall  perish  to-morrow  witli  the 
greatest  torments.  Now,  faith,  I  know  not  what  to  do  in 
my  line,  for,  unless  I  shall  send  a  present  to  the  procurer 
this  day,  to-morrow  must  I  swallow  down  fullers'  produce2. 
And  yet  I  cannot  do  that  which  they  who  can  are  wont  to  do. 

1  With  happy  omen) — Ver.  762.  "Ave  sinistra  "  Literally,  "  with  a  bird  on 
the  left  liand."     This  was  considered  to  be  a  favorable  omen. 

2  Fullers'  produce) — Ver.  781.  As  fullers  used  hands,  feet,  and  sticks  in 
beating  the  cloth,  "fructus  fullonius"  would  mean  "kicks  and  bruises." 


S(.  II.  OR,  THE  CHEAT.  293 

Alas !  how  little  am  I,  even  still  for  this  vocation.  And  by 
my  troth,  now,  to  my  misfortune  how  fearfully  do  I  dread 
punishment.  If  any  one  lays  on1  whose  hand  is  too  heavy, 
although  they  say  that  it  generally  is  done  amid  great  weep- 
ing, I  think  that  I  am  able  in  some  measure  to  keep  my 
teeth  closed.  But  I  must  keep  close  my  lips  and  my  talking, 
for  see,  my  master  is  betaking  himself  home,  and  bringing 
a  Cook  with  Mm.     {Stands  at  a  distance.) 

Scene  II. — Enter  Ballio  and  a  Cook. 

Bal.  Those  who  call  it  the  cook's  market,  call  it  so 
foolishly;  for  'tis  not  a  cook's  market,  but  a  thieves'  market. 
For  if,  upon  oath,  I  were  to  seek  out  the  worst  of  men,  I 
couldn't  have  brought  a  worse  one  than  this  fellow  that  I'm 
bringing,  one,  chattering,  bragging,  silly,  awe?  worthless.  Why, 
for  this  very  reason  Orcus  has  declined3  to  take  him  to  him- 
self, that  he  might  be  here  to  cook  a  banquet  for  the  dead ; 
for  here  he  is  able  to  cook  a  thing  to  please  them  alone. 

Cook.  If  you  thought  of  me  in  this  manner  that  you  are 
mentioning,  why  did  you  hire  me? 

Bal.  Prom  scarcity ;  there  wasn't  another.  But  why,  if 
you  were  a  cook,  were  you  sitting  in  the  market-place,  you 
alone  behind  the  rest  ? 

Cook.  I'll  tell  you.  By  reason  of  the  avarice  of  men  have 
I  become  an  inferior  cook,  not  through  my  own  inclina- 
tion. 

Bal.  For  what  reason  is  that?  Cook.  I'll  tell  you. 
Because,  in  fact,  directly  people  come  to  hire  a  cook,  n<? 
one  enquires  for  him  that's  the  best  and  the  highest  priced : 
rather  do  they  hire  him  that's  the  lowest  priced.  Through 
this  have  I  to-day  been  the  only  sitter  in  the  market.  Those 
wretched  fellows  are  for  a  drachma  a-piece  ;  not  any  person  is 
able  to  prevail  on  me  to  rise  for  less  than  a  didrachm3.     I 

1  If  any  one  lays  on)  — Ver.  785.  It  is  supposed  by  some  that  an  indecent 
allusion  is  obscurely  made  in  tliis  line ;  it  is,  however,  doubtful  if  such  really  is  the 
fact. 

2  Orcus  has  declined) — Ver.  795.  "  Orcus"  is  an  epithet  of  Pluto,  the  king 
3f  the  Infernal  regions,  and,  sometimes,  of  the  place  itself. 

3  A  didrachm) — Ver.  809.     Literally,    "nummus,"    "a  coin"   or   "piece  ol 


291  pseitdolus  ;  Act  111. 

don't  cook  a  dinner  too,  like  other  cooks,  who  bring  me  up 
reasoned  meadows  of  grass  upon  their  dishes  ;  who  turn  the 
guests  into  oxen,  and  supply  the  grass.  This  herbage,  too, 
do  they  further  season  with  other  herbs :  put  in  coriander, 
fennel,  garlick,  orage  ;  they  add,  too,  sorrel,  cabbage,  beet, 
and  spinach.  In  this  they  dissolve  a  pound  weight  of  asafcetida. 
The  roguish  mustard  is  pounded,  which  makes  the  eyes  of 
those  that  pound  it  drop  tears  before  they  have  pounded  it. 
These  fellows,  when  they  cook  dinners,  when  they  do  season 
them,  season  them,  not  with  seasonings,  but  with  vampyre 
owls1,  which  eat  out  the  bowels  of  the  guests  while  still  alive. 
Through  this,  in  fact,  it  is,  that  people  here  live  such  short 
lives,  inasmuch  as  they  heap  up  these  herbs  of  this  sort  in 
their  stomachs,  dreadful  to  be  mentioned,  not  only  to  be 
eaten.    Herbage  which  the  cattle  eat  not,  men  eat  themselves. 

Bal.  "What  do  you  say  ?  Do  you  use  divine  seasonings,  by 
which  you  can  prolong  the  life  of  men,  you,  who  find  fault 
with  these  other  seasonings  ? 

Cook.  I  proclaim  it  boldly ;  for  those  who  shall  eat  of  my 
victuals  which  I  have  seasoned  will  be  able  to  exist  two  hun- 
dred years  even.  Eor  when  I've  put  into  the  saucepan 
either  cicilendrum,  or  cepolindrum,  or  mace2,  or  saucaptis,  the 
very  dishes  become  warmed  forthwith.  These  are  sauces 
i'ovftsh,  the  cattle  of  Neptune;  the  Jlesh  of  the  earthly  cattle 
I  season  with  cicimandrum,  hapalopsis,  or  cataractria. 

money,"  which  means  a  didrachm  or  piece  of  two  drachmae  in  value,  or  about  one 
shilling  and  sevenpence  of  our  money. 

1  With  vampyre  owls) — Ver.  820.  "  Strigibus."  By  this  expression  he 
probably  alludes  to  the  drastic  effect  of  these  herbs  on  those  who  partook  of 
them.  Ovid,  in  the  Sixth  Book  of  the  Fasti,  has  these  words:  "  There  are  raven- 
ous fowls;  not  those  which  used  to  rob  the  mouth  of  Phineus  at  the  board,  but 
thence  do  they  derive  their  origin.  Large  are  their  heads,  fixed  is  their  gaze 
for  plunder  are  their  beaks  adapted ;  on  their  wings  is  a  greyish  colour,  crooked 
talons  are  on  their  claws.  By  night  they  fly,  and  they  seek  the  children  unpro- 
tected by  the  nuise,  and  pollute  their  bodies  dragged  from  their  cradles.  With 
their  beaks  they  are  said  to  tear  the  entrails  of  the  sucklings,  and  they  have  their 
maws  distended  with  the  blood  which  they  have  swallowed.  '  Strides'  are  they 
called ;  and  the  origin  of  this  name  is  the  fact,  that  they  are  wont  to  screech  in 
the  dismal  night."  It  is  supposed  by  some  persons  that,  under  this  name,  the 
vampyre  bat  is  alluded  to. 

2  Cepolindrum,  or  mace) — Ver.  832.  With  the  exception  of  mace,  all  these 
names  are  gibberish,  invented  by  the  Cook  for  the  purpose  of  imposing  upon 
Ballio. 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  CHEAT.  295 

Bal.  Now  may  Jupiter  and  all  the  Divinities  confound 
you  with  your  sauces,  and  with  all  those  lies  of  yours  I 

Cook.  Do  allow  me  to  speak,  please.  Bal.  Speak,  and 
go  to  very  perdition. 

Cook.  "When  all  the  saucepans  are  hot,  I  open  them  alv 
then  does   the    odour   fly   towards   heaven  with   its  hand- 
hanging  down1. 

Bal.  The  odour  with  its  hands  hanging  down  ? 

Cook.  I  made  a  mistake  without  thinking. 

Bal.  How  so?  Cook.  With  its  feet  hanging  down,  1 
meant  to  say.     Jupiter  dines  on  that  odour  every  day. 

Bal.  If  you  happen  not  to  go  out  to.  cook,  pray  what  does 
Jupiter  dine  upon  ? 

Cook.  He  goes  to  sleep  without  his  dinner. 

Bal.  Gro  to  very  perdition.  Is  it  for  this  reason  that  I'm 
to  give  you  a  didrachm  to-day  ? 

Cook.  Well,  I  confess  that  I  am  a  very  high-priced  cook  j 
but  I  make  the  results  of  my  labour  to  be  seen  for  the  price, 
hired  at  which  I  go  out. 

Bal.  In  thieving,  to  wit.  Cook.  And  do  you  expect  to 
meet  with  any  cook  except  with  the  claws  of  a  kite  or  of 
an  eagle  ? 

Bal.  And  do  you  expect  to  go  anywhere  to  cook,  and  not 
to  cook  the  dinner  there  with  your  claws  tied  up  ?  Now, 
therefore,  you  hoy  (to  the  Boy),  who  are  my  servant,  I  now 
give  you  notice  to  make  haste  to  remove  hence  all  mv 
property ;  and  to  keep  his  eyes  as  well  in  your  sight. 
Whichever  way  he  shall  look,  do  you  look  the  same  way  as 
well.  If  he  shall  move  in  any  direction,  do  you  move  as 
well.  If  he  shall  put  forth  his  hand,  put  you  forth  vour 
hand  as  well.  If  he  shall  take  anything  of  his  own,  do  you 
suffer  him  to  take  it ;  if  he  shall  take  what's  mine,  do  you  on 
the  other  side  hold  him  fast.  If  he  shaK  stoop  to  the 
ground,  do  you  stoop  there  as  well.  Likewise  over  your 
understrappers  I  shall  appoint  a  single  guard  a-piece. 

1  With  its  hands  hanging  dovm) — Ver.  841.  He  means  to  personify  the  cdour 
and  to  represent  it  as  flying  up  to  heaven ;  but,  by  mistake,  he  says  it  flies  up, 
"  demissis  manibus,"  with  its  hands  hanging  down,  which  would  lather  be  the 
attitude  of  a  person  thrown  out  of,  and  falling  from,  the  heavens.  Ballio  repeat* 
the  expression  in  a  tone  of  surprise,  on  which  the  Cook  corrects  himself,  and  saya 
he  meant  to  say,  "  with  its  feet  hanging  down,"  "  demissis  pedibus." 


296  pseitdoltts;  Act  III.,  Sc.  II. 

Cook.  On.y  have  good  courage.  Bal.  Prithee,  tell  me 
how  I  possibly  can  have  good  courage,  m  ho  am  taking  you 
home  to  my  house  ? 

Cook.  Because,  by  my  broth,  this  day  will  I  do  just  in  the 
way  that  Medea  cooked  up  the  old  man  Pelias1,  whom  she 
is  said  by  a  draught  and  by  her  potions  from  an  aged  man  to 
have  made  young  again  ;  so  will  I  make  you  likewise. 

Bal.  How  now ;  are  you  an  enchanter  as  well  ? 

Cook.  Why  no,  by  my  troth,  I  am  rather  a  preserver2  of 
mankind. 

Bal.  Well  now  ;  for  how  much  would  you  teach  me  that 
one  point  in  cooking  ? 

Cook.  What  point  ?  Bal.  That  I  may  preserve  you  from 
pilfering  anything  from  me. 

Cook.  For  a  didrachm,  if  you  believe  me  ;  if  not,  not  for 
a  mina  even.  But  whether  are  you  about  to-day  to  give  a 
dinner,  to  your  friends  or  to  your  enemies  ? 

Bal.  Why,  faith,  to  my  friends  surely. 

Cook.  But  why  don't  you  invite  your  enemies  to  it  rather 
than  your  friends  ?  For  this  day  will  I  present  to  the 
guests  a  banquet  so  savoury,  and  I'll  season  it  with  such  a 
dulcet  sweetness,  that  whoever  shall  taste  each  thing  that's 
seasoned,  I'll  make  that  same  person  to  gnaw  off  the  ends 
of  his  own  fingers. 

Bal.  Troth  now,  prithee,  before  you  shall  present  aught 
to  the  guests  do  you  yourself  first  taste,  and  give   some 

1  The  old  man  Pelias) — Ver.  869.  The  Cook  could  not  be  expected  to  be  very 
learned  in  the  heathen  Mythology;  and  we  accordingly  find  him  making  a 
blunder.  iEson,  the  father  of  Jason,  was  restored  to  youth  by  the  charms  of 
Medea ;  but  Pelias  being  the  enemy  of  Jason,  Medea  persuaded  his  daughters  to 
cut  him  in  pieces,  that  he  might  in  similar  manner  restore  him  to  youth ;  which 
was  accordingly  done,  on  which,  having  thus  contrived  his  death,  she  refused  her 
assistance.  It  is  much  more  probable  that  the  Cook  should  be  intended  to  be 
represented  as  ignorant,  than  as  attempting  here  to  impose  on  the  ignorance  of 
Ballio.  Warner,  in  his  translation,  however,  thinks  otherwise.  He  says,  "  The 
humour  plainly  lies  in  the  Cook's  promises  to  restore  Ballio  to  his  juvenility  by 
a  cookery — one  that  would  kill  him.  Ballio's  ignorance  is,  indeed,  here  meant  to 
be  exposed  to  ridicule  by  the  Cook,  that  is  by  Plautus,  as  it  likewise  is  in  tha 
names  of  the  spices,  which  are  probably  fictitious." 

2  Rather  a  preserver)— Ver.  874.  The  "  enchanters,"  who  were  called  "  vene- 
fici,"  "  poisoners,"  were  supposed  tc  destroy  men  by  their  potions,  whence  th* 
prescr/,  reply  of  the  Cook. 


Act  IV.,  Sc.  I.  OR,  THE  CHEAT.  297 

to  your  understrappers,  that  you  may  gnaw  off  the  ends 
of  your  own  pilfering  hands. 

Cook.  Perhaps  then  you  don't  believe  me  in  the  things 
that  I  say. 

Bal.  Don't  you  be  troublesome ;  you  din  me  too  much ; 
you  don't  please  me  by  it.  See,  there  I  live.  (Points  to  his 
house.)  Do  you  go  in-doors  and  cook  the  dinner,  with  all 
speed. 

Boy.  Why  don't  you  go,  and  take  your  place  ?  Go  and 
find  the  guests  ;  the  dinner's  spoiling  already.  (Cook  and 
Boy  go  into  the  house.') 

Bal.  Now,  just  look,  please,  at  that  young  offshoot;  for  he, 
too,  is  a  good-for-nothing  deputy-scullion  for  the  cook.  Truly 
I  don't  know  what  now  first  to  be  on  my  guard  against ; 
such  thieves  there  are  in  my  house,  and  there's  a  robber 
close  at  hand.  Eor  my  neighbour  here,  the  father  of  Cali- 
dorus,  a  short  time  since,  in  the  market-place,  asked  me 
by  all  means  to  be  on  my  guard  against  his  servant  Pseu- 
dolus,  not  to  put  any  trust  in  him  ;  for  that  he  is  on  the 
hunt  this  day,  if  possible  to  dupe  me  out  of  the  woman.  He 
said  that  he  had  stoutly  promised  to  him  that  he  would  get 
away  Phcenicium  from  me  by  stratagem.  I'll  now  go  in- 
doors and  give  notice  to  my  household,  that  no  one  must 
put  any  trust  whatever  in  this  Pseudolus.  {Goes  into  his 
house.) 

Act  IV. — Scene  I. 
Enter  Pseudolus. 
Pseud.  If  the  immortal  Gods  ever  did  determine  that  any 
person  should  be  assisted  by  their  aid,  now  do  they  intend 
that  Calidorus .  shall  be  preserved  for  me,  and  the  procurer 
destroyed,  inasmuch  as  they  produced  you  for  my  assistant, 
so  clever  and  so  knowing  a  fellow.  (Looking  bach.)  But 
where  is  he  ?  am  I  not  a  shly  fellow  to  be  thus  talking  to 
myself  alone  ?  I'  faith,  he  has  put  a  trick  upon  myself,  as  I 
fancy ;  myself  one  knave,  I  have  been  poorly  on  my  guard 
against  another  knave.  By  my  troth  I'm  undone,  if  this 
fellow's  off,  and  I  shall  not  carry  into  effect  this  day  what  I 
intended.  But  see,  there  he  is,  a  statue  that  deserves  a  whip, 
ping  ;  how  stately  he  does  stalk  along  ! 


298  pseudoltjs;  Act  IV. 


Enter  Simmia,  at  a  distance,  dressed  like  Hakpax. 

Pseud.  How  now !  By  my  faith  I  was  looking  about  for 
you  ;  I  was  very  greatly  afraid  that  you  were  off. 

Sim.  It  was  my  character  to  do  so,  I  confess. 

Pseud.  Where  were  you  loitering  ?  Sim.  AVhere  I 
pleased. 

Pseud.  That  I  know  well  enough  already. 

Sim.  Why  then  do  you  ask  me  what  you  know  ? 

Pseud.  Why  this  I  want,  to  put  you  in  mind. 

Sim.  Needing  to  be  put  in  mind  yourself,  don't  you  be 
putting  me  in  mind. 

Pseud.  Eeally  I  am  treated  by  you  quite  with  contempt. . 

Sim.  And  why  shouldn't  I  treat  you  with  contempt,  I, 
who  have  the  repute  of  being  a  military  gentleman  ? 

Pseud.  I  want  this  then,  which  has  been  commenced,  to 
be  completed. 

Sim.  Do  you  see  me  a-doing  anything  else  ? 

Pseud.  Therefore  walk  on  briskly.  Sim.  No,  I  choose  to 
go  slowly. 

Pseud.  This  is  the  opportunity ;  while  this  Harpax  is 
asleep,  I  want  you  to  be  the  first  to  accost  him. 

Sim.  Why  are  you  hurrying  ?  Softly  ;  don't  you  fear.  I 
wish  Jupiter  would  so  make  it,  that  he  were  openly  in  the 
same  place  with  me,  whoever  he  is,  that  has  arrived  from  the 
Captain.  Never  a  jot,  by  my  troth,  should  he  be  a  bit  the 
better  Harpax  than  I.  Have  good  courage,  I'll  have  this 
business  nicely  accounted  for  to  you.  So  by  my  tricks  and 
lies  would  I  put  this  military  stranger  in  a  fright  that  he 
himself  would  deny  that  he  is  the  person  that  he  is,  and  would 
believe  me  to  be  the  person  that  he  himself  is. 

Pseud.  How  can  that  be  ?  Sim.  You  are  murdering  me 
when  you  ask  me  that. 

Pseud.  A  clever  fellow.  Sim.  And  so  are  you  too,  who 
are  quite  my  equal  with  your  mischievous  tricks  and  lies 
******* 

Pseud.  May  Jupiter  preserve  you  for  me. 
Sim.  Aye,  and  for  myself.     But  look,  does  this  dress  be* 
come  me  quite  well  ? 


SC.  I.  OR,  THE  CHEAT.  299 

Pseud.  It  suits  very  well.     Sim.  Be  it  so. 

Pseud.  May  the  Deities  grant  you  as  many  blessings  as 
you  may  wish  for  yourself.  For  if  I  were  to  wish  for  as 
many  as  you  are  deserving  of,  they  would  be  less  than 
nothing ;  (aside)  nor  have  I  ever  seen  any  one  more  of  a  rogue 
than  this  fellow. 

Sim.  (overhearing  him).  Do  you  say  that  to  me  ? 

Pseud.  This  man's  an  honest  fellow. 

Sim.  It  is  neither  this  person,  then  {pointing  to  Pseudo- 
lus),  nor  myself. 

Pseud.  But  take  care  that  you  don't  be  tripping. 

Sim.  Can't  you  hold  your  tongue  ?  He  that  puts  a  man 
m  mind  of  that  which,  remembering  it,  he  does  keep  in  mind, 
causes  him  to  forget  it.  I  recollect  everything  ;  they  are 
stored  up  in  my  breast ;  my  plans  are  cleverly  laid. 

Pseud.  I'm  silent.  But  what  good  turn  shall  I  do  you 
if  you  carry  through  this  matter  with  management?  So 
may  the  Gods  love  me 

Sim.  They  won't  do  so;  you'll  be  uttering  sheer  false- 
hoods then. 

Pseud.  How  I  do  love  you,  Simmia,  for  your  roguery,  and 
loth  fear  and  laud  you. 

Sim.  That  I  have  learned  to  make  a  present  of  to  others ; 
you  can't  put  your  flatteries  on  me. 

Pseud.  In  how  delightful  a  manner  I  shall  receive  you  this 
day,  when  you  have  completed  this  matter. 

Sim.  Ha,  ha,  ha !     {Laughing.) 

Pseud.  With  nice  viands,  wine,  perfumes,  and  titbits 
between  our  cups.  There,  too,  shall  be  a  charming  damsel, 
who  shall  give  you  kiss  upon  kiss. 

Sim.  You  will  be  receiving  me  in  a  delightful  manner. 

Pseud.  Aye,  am?  if  you  effect  it,  then  I'll  make  you  say  so 
still  more. 

Sim.  If  I  don't  effect  it,  do  you,  the  executioner,  take  me 
off  to  torture.  But  make  haste  and  point  out  to  me  where 
is  the  door  of  the  procurer's  house. 

Pseud.  'Tis  the  third  hence.  Sim.  Hist !  hush !  the  door's 
opening. 

Pseud.  In  my  mind,  I  believe  that  the  house  is  poorly. 

Sim.  Why  so?  Pseud.  Because,  i'  faith,  it  is  vomiting 
forth  the  procurer.     (Ballio  is  coming  out  of  his  house.) 


300  PSEUDOLUS  ;  Act  IV. 

Sim.  Is  this  he  ?     Pseud.  This  is  his  own  self. 

Sim.  'Tis  a  worthless  commodity.  Pseud.  Do  see  that: 
he  doesn't  go  straight,  but  sideways,  just  as  a  crab  is  wont. 
{They  conceal  themselves  from  Ballio.) 

Scene  II. — Enter  Ballio  from  his  house. 

Bal.  I  do  believe  that  this  fellow  is  not  so  bad  a  cook  as 
I  thought  he  was ;  for  he  has  clawed  off  nothing  as  yet  ex- 
cept a  cup  and  a  tankard. 

Pseud,  {apart  to  Simmia).  Hallo  you!  now's  your  oppor- 
tunity and  your  time. 

Sim.  I  agree  with  you.  Pseud.  Step  slily  out  into  the 
street ;  I'll  be  here  in  ambush.  (Simmia  steps  forward,  and 
then  walks  along  the  middle  of  the  street  to  meet  Ballio.) 

Sim.  {talking  aloud  to  himself).  I  took  the  number  care- 
fully ;  this  is  the  sixth  lane  from  the  city  gate ;  down  that 
lane  he  bade  me  turn ;  how  many  houses  down  he  told  me, 
that  I  don't  quite  know  for  certain. 

Bal.  {eyeing  Simmia).  Who's  this  fellow  in  the  scarf,  or 
whence  does  he  come,  or  whom  is  he  looking  for  ?  The 
appearance  of  the  fellow  seems  outlandish  and  shabby. 

Sim.  But  see,  here's  a  person,  who,  from  uncertainty,  will 
make  the  thing  more  certain  for  me  that  I  wish  to  know. 

Bal.  He's  coming  straight  towards  me.  "Where  in  the 
world  am  1  to  say  this  fellow  comes  from  ? 

Sim.  Harkye !  you  who  are  standing  there  with  a  goat's 
beard,  answer  me  this  that  I  ask  you. 

Bal.  How  now  !     Don't  you  salute  me  first  ? 

Sim.  {with  a  surly  voice) .  I  have  no  salutations  to  give  away. 

Bal.  Well,  troth,  you  shall  get  just  as  much  from  here 
then. 

Pseud,  {from  behind).  Well  done,  at  the  very  beginning. 

Sim.  Do  you  know  any  person  in  this  lane,  I  ask  you  ? 

Bal.  I  know  myself.  Sim.  Pew  persons  do  that  which 
you  mention ;  for  in  the  Porum  there  is  hardly  every  tenth 
person  that  knows  his  own  self. 

Pseud,  {from  behind).  I'm  all  right;  he  is  philosophizing 
now. 

Sim.  I'm  looking  for  a  fellow  here,  a  bad  one,  a  law- 
breaker, an  impious,  perjured,  and  dishonest  rogue. 

Bal    {aside).  He's  looking  for  me,  for  those  are  my  titles. 


Sc.  II.  OE,  THE  CHEAT.  301 

If  he  would  only  mention  the  name.  (To  Simmia.)  "What's 
the  name  of  this  person  r 

Sim.  Ballio,  the  procurer.  Bal.  Do  I  know  him  ?  I  am 
the  very  person,  young  man,  that  you  are  looking  for. 

Sim.    What,  are  you  Ballio  ?      Bal.  I  really  am  he. 

Sim.  How  you  are  clothed,  a  housebreaker  *  * 

(He  takes  hold  of  Ballio'  s  cloak.) 

Bal.  I  think  if  you  were  to  see  me  in  the  dark,  you'd 
be  keeping  your  hand  off. 

Sim.  My  master  bade  me  present  you  many  greetings. 
Keceive  this  letter  from  me  ;  he  bade  me  give  you  it. 

Bal.  "Who's  the  person  that  bade  you  ? 

Pseud,  (from  behind).  I'm  undone,  now  the  fellow's  in 
the  middle  of  the  mud.  He  doesn't  know  the  name — 
this  business  is  at  a  dead  lock. 

Bal.  "Who  do  you  say  sent  me  this  ? 

Sim.  Observe  the  seal ;  do  you  yourself  tell  me  his  name, 
that  I  may  know  that  you  are  Ballio  himself. 

Bal.  Give  me  the  letter.  Sim.  Take  it,  and  look  at  the 
seal.     (  Gives  him  the  letter.) 

Bal.  (looking  at  it).  Oho!  'Tis  nothing  more  nor  less 
than  Polymachaeroplagides1,  his  own  very  self;  I  recognize 
it.     Hallo  you,  Polymachaeroplagides  is  his  name  ! 

Sim.  I  know  now  that  I  have  rightly  given  you  the  letter, 
since  you  have  mentioned  the  name  of  Polymachaeroplagides. 

Bal.  How  fares  he  ?  Sim.  By  my  troth,  just  as  a  brave 
man  and  a  good  soldier  should.  But  make  haste,  I  beg,  to 
read  this  letter  through,  for  it  is  requisite  to  do  so,  and  to 
take  this  money  at  once  and  send  out  the  damsel.  For  it's 
necessary  for  me  this  day  to  be  at  Sicyon3,  or  else  to  suffer 
death  to-morrow  ;  so  peremptory  is  my  master. 

Bal.  I  know  it :  you  are  telling  those  wrho  know  it  already. 

Sim.  Make  haste  then  to  read  the  letter  through. 

Bal.  I'll  do  so,  if  you'll  only  hold  your  tongue.  (He 
reads  the  letter.)    "  The  Captain  Polymachaeroplagides  sends 

1  Pohjmachmroplagides) — Ver.  988.  This  high-sounding  name  is  compounded 
of  three  Greek  words,  and  signifies  "  the  son  of  many  blows  with  the  sword,"  or 
something  akin  to  it. 

*  To  be  at  Sicyon)—Ver.  995.  This  was  a  very  ancient  city  of  the  Pebptu- 
nesue  on  the  Gulf  of  Corinth. 


302  pseudolus  ;  Act  IV. 

this  letter,  written  to  the  procurer  Ballio;  sealed  with  the 
impression  which  was  formerly  agreed  upon,  between  us 
two." 

Sim.  The  token's  in  the  letter. 

Bal.  I  see  the  token  and  I  recognize  it.  But  is  he  in  the 
habit  of  sending  no  greeting  written  in  his  letter  ? 

Sim.  Such  is  the  military  etiquette,  Ballio  ;  with  their 
hand  they  send  health  to  their  well-wishers,  and  with  the 
same  do  they  send  destruction  to  their  evil-wishers.  But 
as  you  have  commenced,  go  on  to  ascertain  of  yourself  what 
this  letter  says. 

Bal.  Listen  then.  {Beading  on.)  "  Harpax  is  my  camp- 
servant,  who  has  come  to  you."     Are  you  this  Harpax  ? 

Sim.  I  am,  and  the  real  Harpax  too1. 

Bal.  (reading  on).  ""Who  brings  this  letter ;  I  wish  the 
money  to  be  received  from  him,  and  the  woman  to  be  sent 
together  with  him.  'Tis  becoming  to  send  greeting  to  the 
worthy ;  had  I  deemed  you  worthy,  I  should  have  sent  it  to 
you." 

Sim.  "What  then  ?  Bal.  Pay  me  the  money,  take  away 
the  woman. 

Sim.  "Which  of  us  is  delaying  the  matter  ? 

Bal.  Follow  me  in-doors  then. 

Sim.  I'm  following.     {They  go  into  Ballio' s  house.) 

Scene  III. — Pseudolus  comes  forward. 

Pseud.  I'  troth,  a  more  artful  fellow,  and  one  more  skil- 
fully cunning,  I  never  did  see  than  is  this  same  Simmia. 
Very  much  do  I  dread  this  man,  and  sadly  do  I  fear  that  he 
may  prove  mischievous  against  myself  just  as  he  lias  been 
against  him ;  lest  in  his  prosperity  he  may  now  turn  his 
horns  against  me,  if  he  finds  an  opportunity.  Should  he 
prove  mischievous  towards  me  *  *  *  * 

But,  i'  faith,  for  my  part  I  hope  not,  for  I  wish  well  to  him. 
Now  in  three  ways  am  I  in  the  greatest  dread.  First  of  all 
then,  I  dread  this  comrade  of  mine,  lest  he  should  forsake  me 
and  go  over  from  me  to  the  enemy.  Next  do  I  dread  that 
my  master  should  in  the  meantime  return  from  the  Forum ; 

1  The  real  Harpax  too) — Ver.  1010.  He  lays  a  stress  on  the  name,  to  catch  a 
laugh  from  the  audience  by  implying  that  he  is  a  regular  Harpax  or  "  plunderer," 
both  in  name  and  reality. 


So.  V.  OE,  THE  CHEAT.  303 

lest,  the  booty  taken,  the  plunderers  should  be  taken.  To- 
gether with  these  things  do  I  fear,  lest  that  other  Harpax 
should  arrive  here  before  this  Harpax  has  departed  hence 
with  the  woman.  By  my  faith,  I'm  undone ;  they  are 
very  slow  in  coming  out  of  doors.  With  baggage  packed1 
up,  my  heart  is  waiting,  ready,  if  he  doesn't  bring  out  the 
damsel  together  with  himself,  to  fly  away  in  exile  out  from 
of  my  breast.  *•'#**#_# 
{The  door  of  B allio' s  house  opens.)  I'm  the  conqueror — 
I've  got  the  better  of  my  wary  guards. 

Scene  IV. — Enter  Simmia, />#/;*  B allio' s  house,  leading 
Phcenicium. 

Sim.  (to  Phcenicium).  Don't  weep  :  you  know  not  how  the 
matter  is,  Phcenicium ;  but  before  long  I'll  let  you.  know  it 
when  you  are  resting.  I'm  not  leading  you  to  that  Mace- 
donian long-teethed  fellow,  who  now  causes  you  to  be  weep- 
ing. To  him  will  I  lead  you,  whose  you  especially  long  to  be. 
I'll  cause  you  before  very  long  to  be  embracing  Calidorus. 

Pseud.  Prithee,  why  did  you  stay  so  long  in-doors  ?  For 
how  long  a  time  was  my  heart  throbbing  with  beating 
against  my  breast. 

Sim.  You  have  found  reason,  you  whipping-post,  with  a 

vengeance  to  be  making  enquires  of  me        *  *  * 

*  *  *  *  amid  the  ambush 

of  the  enemy.     "Why  don't  we  go  home  with  all  speed  with 

military  strides3. 

Pseud.  Now,  by  my  trotb,  although  you  are  a  worthless 
fellow,  you  advise  aright.  March  in  triumphal  procession, 
this  way,  straight  in  the  path  to  the  festive  goblet.  (TJiey 
march  off  in  triumphal  procession?) 

Scene  Y. — Enter  B  allio, /row  his  house. 
Bal.  Ha,  ha,  ha!    (laughing.)     Now,  at  last,  my  mind  is 
in   a    state   of  ease,    since  that  fellow  has  departed  hence, 

1  With  baggage  packed) — Ver.  1033.  "  Conligatis  vasis."  This  is  a  figure  de- 
rived from  military  affairs.  In  modern  as  in  ancient  times,  the  custom  is  for  the 
soldiers,  when  they  break  up  the  encampment,  to  collect  all  their  vessels  and 
baggage  and  tie  them  up  in  bundles. 

■  With  military  strides) — Ver.  1019.  Having  often  to  march  qui  :kly,  soldiers 
would  naturally  acquire  the  habit  of  walking  with  large  strides. 


30-1  pseudoltjs  ;  Act  IV* 

and  taken  away  the  woman.  I  should  like  Pseudolus  now 
to  come,  that  wicked  rascal,  to  carry  the  woman  off  from  me 
by  his  stratagems.  I  know  for  sure,  right  well,  that  I  had 
rather  in  solemn  form  perjure  myself  a  thousand  times,  than 
that  he  should  cheat  me  by  making  a  laughing-stock  of  me. 
By  my  troth  now,  I'll  laugh  at  the  fellow  if  I  meet  him. 
But  I  guess  that  he'll  soon  be  on  the  treadmill,  just  as  befits 
him.  Now  I  wish  for  Simo  that  he  would  come  in  my  way, 
in  order  that  he  might  be  joyful  in  common  with  my  joy. 

Scene  VI. — Enter  Simo. 

Simo  (to  himself).  I'm  going  to  see  what  business  my 
Ulysses  has  transacted ;  whether  he  now  has  the  statue1  from 
the  Ballionian  citadel. 

Bal.  O,  lucky  man !  give  me  your  lucky  hand.  (Takes 
his  hand.) 

Simo.  What's  the  matter  ?     Bal.  Now. 

Simo.  What  now  ?  Bal.  There's  nothing  at  all  for  you 
to  frar. 

Simo.  What's  the  matter?  Has  that  fellow  Pseudolus 
come  to  you  ? 

Bal.  No.     Simo.  What  good  fortune  is  there,  then  ? 

Bal.  Yo:ir  twenty  minse  are  safe  and  sound  wrhich  Pseu- 
dolus stipulated  for  from  you  this  day. 

Simo.  I'  faith,  I  really  do  wish  they  were. 

Bal.  Ask  of  me  twenty  minae  if  be  this  day  gets  hold  of 
that  woman,  or  gives  her  to  your  son  this  day,  as  he  has  pro- 
mised. On  my  word,  prithee,  do  demand  them  of  me  ;  I 
quite  long  to  promise  them.  And,  besides  this,  keep  the 
woman  as  a  present  for  yourself,  that  in  every  way  you 
may  know  that  your  money's  safe. 

Simo.  There's  no  danger  that  I  know  of  in  making  this 
bargain.  According  as  you  have  solemnly  pledged  your 
word,  will  you  give  me  twenty  minse  ? 

Bal.  They  shall  be  given.  Simo.  This,  indeed,  is  not  so 
badly  done.     But  have  you  met  the  fellow  ? 

Bal.  Aye,  both  of  tbem  together. 

1  Noio  has  the  statm) — Ver.  1064.  He  alludes  to  Ulysses  carrying  away  the 
Palladium  or  statue  of  Minerva  from  the  citadel  of  Troy. 


5c.  yil.  on,  THE  CHEAT.  30-5 

Simo.  What  did  he  say?  What  did  he  talk  about? 
Prithee,  what  did  he  mention  to  you  ? 

Bal.  Theatrical  nonsense  ;  expressions  which,  in  comedies, 
are  wont  to  be  used  to  a  procurer,  which  boys  are  ac- 
quainted with.  He  said  that  I  was  worthless,  and  wicked, 
and  forsworn. 

Simo.  I'  faith,  he  told  no  lie. 

Bal.  'Twas  for  that  reason  I  wasn't  angry.  For  what 
matters  it  for  you  to  speak  uncivilly  to  him  who  cares  not 
for  it,  and  who  don't  deny  the  truth  of  ivhat  you  say  ? 

Simo.  Why  is  it  that  you  are  in  no  fear  of  him  ?  That 
I'm  longing  to  hear. 

Bal.  Because  he  never  will  carry  the  woman  off  now,  nor 
is  he  able.  Don't  you  yourself  remember  that  I  told  you,  some 
time  since,  that  she  had  been  sold  to  a  Macedonian  officer  ? 

Simo.  I  remember.  Bal.  Well,  his  servant  just  now 
brought  me  the  money,  and  the  token  with  the  impression, 
which  had  been  arranged  between  himself  and  me. 

Simo.  What  then  ?  Bal.  He  took  away  with  him  the 
woman,  not  long  since. 

Simo.  Do  you  say  this  in  real  truth  ? 

Bal.  Whence  could  I  possibly  have  that  quality? 

Simo.  Do  you  only  take  care  that  he  hasn't  been  playing 
some  trick  there. 

Bal.  The  letter  and  the  impress  on  the  seal  make  me  sure. 
Indeed,  'twas  but  just  now  he  took  her  off  for  Sicyon. 

Simo.  Troth  now,  'twas  well  done.  Why  do  I  delay  to 
make  Pseudolus  give  a  name1  to  a  colony  at  the  mill-stones  ? 
But  who's  this  fellow  in  the  scarf? 

Bal.  I  don't  know,  i'  faith ;  however,  let's  observe  whither 
he's  going,  and  what  business  he's  upon.  {They  stand  on 
one  side.) 

Scene  YIL — Enter  Haepax. 
Har.  (to  himself).  That  slave's  a  base  and  worthless  fellow, 
who  values  his  master's  commands  at  nought;  and  he,  too. 
is  good  for  nothing  who  is  forgetful  to  do  his  duty  unless 
he's  put  in  mind.  But  those  who  forthwith  deem  them- 
selves to  be  at  liberty,  when  they  have  hidden  themselves  from 

1  Give  a  name) — Ver.  1100.  He  alludes  to  the  custom  of  the  first  colonist* 
giving  the  name  to  a  colony.  He  says  that  he  thinks  that  he  must  give  Pseudohu 
a  settlement  at  the  hand-mill,  and  so  make  him  colonize  the  place  of  punishment 

X 


306  rsEUDOLtrs ;  Act  TV 

the  sight  of  their  master,  who  riot,  wench,  devour  what  they 
have, — aye,  what  they  have  not, — long  do  those  same  endure 
the  name  of  servitude.  Nor  is  there  any  good  disposition  in 
them,  except  only  that  they  may  uphold  themselves  by  their 
dishonest  contrivances.  With  these,  neither  their  company 
nor  their  conversation  suits  me,  nor  by  these  persons  have 
I  been  ever  known.  Although  he  is  away,  I  consider  my 
master  as  being  here ;  I  fear  him  when  he  isn't  here,  that  I 
may  not  have  to  fear  him  when  he  is  here.  Therefore,  as  I 
have  been  ordered,  to  this  business  will  I  give  my  attention. 
But  that  Syrus,  to  whom  I  gave  the  token,  would  have  been 
letting  me  stay  even  yet  in  the  shop.  As  he  bade  me,  I  stayed 
there ;  he  said  that  he  would  send  for  me  when  the  procurer 
was  at  aome.  But  since  he  hasn't  come,  or  called  me  while 
staying  there,  I'm  come  hither  of  my  own  accord,  that  I  may 
know  what  is  the  fact,  that  that  fellow  mayn't  be  playing 
tricks  with  me.  And  there  is  nothing  better  than  that  I 
should  knock  at  this  door,  and  call  some  out  here  from  in- 
doors. I  want  this  procurer  to  take  this  money  of  me,  and  to 
send  off  this  woman  with  me.   (Goes  towards  Ballio's  door.) 

Bal.  (from  behind,  to  Simo).  Hark  you!  Simo.  (apart). 
"What  do  you  want  ? 

Bal.  (apart).  This  fellow's  my  own.  Simo.  (apart).  How 
so  ? 

Bal.  (apart,  pointing  to  the  purse  in  the  hand  o/'Harpax). 
Because  that  booty's  mine.     He's  in  search  of  a  mistress 
he  has  got  money.     I  already  long  to  fix  my  teeth  in  him. 

Simo.  (apart).    Are  you  going  to  devour  him  already  ? 

Bal.  (apart).  While  he's  fresh,  while  he's  in  the  habit 
of  giving  away,  while  he's  warm  upon  it,  'tis  proper  for  him 
to  be  gobbled  up.  The  good  men  keep  me  poor,  the  bad 
ones  support  me ;  the  virtuous  are  a  benefit  to  the  public, 
the  debauched  to  myself. 

Simo.  (aside).  A  mischief  may  the  Gods  send  you;  such 
a  villain  are  you. 

Bal.  (apart).  Venus  bestows  upon  me  these  blessings, 
when  she  drives  hither  these  haters  of  money,  these  who 
quite  long  for  losses,  who  carefully  pamper  themselves  and 
their  youthful  age,  eat,  drink,  and  wench.  Of  quite  dif- 
ferent dispositions  are  they  and  you. 

Har.  (to  himself).  I'm  now  delaying  myself,  in  not 
knocking  at  this   door,  that  I  may  know  whether  or  ni 


Sc.   Vll.  OE,  THE  CHEAT.  307 

Ballio  is  at  home  now.  (Calls  out,  going  up  to  the  door.) 
Hallo !  where  are  you  ?     Hallo  !  where  are  you  ? 

Bal.  (apart).  Why,  he's  going  straight  up  towards  my 
house.  I  shall  come  off  finely  loaded  with  plunder  from  this 
fellow  ;  I  know  it's  a  lucky  omen  for  me. 

Hae.  (knocking  violently  at  the  door).  Does  any  one  come 
to  open  this  door  ? 

Bal.  (calling  out  to  him).  Hallo!  you  in  the  scarf,  what's 
owing  you  at  that  house  ? 

Har.  I'm  enquiring  for  Ballio,  the  procurer,  the  master  of 
the  house. 

Bal.  "Whoever  you  are,  young  man,  make  short  work  of 
your  enquiries. 

Har.  Why  so  ?  Bal.  Because  he  himself  in  person  sees 
you  in  his  presence  before  him. 

Har.  What,  are  you  he  ?  Simo.  You  in  the  scarf,  take 
you  care,  please,  of  some  crooked  misfortune,  and  point  your 
finger1  at  him  ;  this  fellow  is  a  procurer. 

Bal.  (pointing  to  Simo).  And  this  is  an  honest  man. 
(To  Simo.)  But  you,  worthy  fellow,  are  many  a  time  being 
hunted  after  in  the  Forum  with  noise  enough,  when  you 
haven't  a  groat  in  the  world,  unless  this  procurer  here  comes 
to  help  you  a  bit. 

Har.  But  why  don't  you  address  yourself  to  me  ? 

Bal.  I  do  address  you.     What  is  it  you  want  ? 

Har.  Tou  to  take  this  money.  (He  holds  out  the  Jive 
mines.) 

Bal.  (holding  out  his  hand).  Already  have  I  extended  my 
hand,  if  you  are  going  to  give  it. 

Har.  Take  it ;  here  are  five  picked  minse  of  silver  counted 
out.  (Gives  him  the  money.)  This  did  my  master,  Polyma- 
chseroplagides,  order  me  to  deliver  to  you,  the  sum  which  he 
was  owing,  and  that  you  were  to  send  Phcenicium  with  me. 

Bal.  Tour  master  ?     Har.  I  say  to  that  effect. 

Bal.  The  Captain  ?     Har.  T  speak  to  that  effect. 

Bal.  The  Macedonian  ?     Har.  Such  is  the  fact,  I  say. 

Bal.  Polymachseroplagides  sent  you  to  me  ? 

Har.  You  say  what's  fact.    Bal.  To  give  me  this  money  ? 

1  Point  your  finger) — Ver.  1144.  Simo  thinks  that  Harpax  lias  come  to  be  a 
customer  of  the  procurer,  and  tells  him  to  beware  of  misfortune,  and  rather  to 
point  the  finger  of  scorn  at  such  a  worthless  character.  The  middle  firmer  wtt 
ased  for  that  purpose. 

x2 


30S  PSEU DOLUS  ;  Act  IV. 

Har.  If  you  really  are  the  procurer  Ballio. 

Bal.  And  for  you  to  take  away  the  woman  from  me  ? 

Har.  Even  so.     Bal.  Did  he  say  that  it  was  Phcenicium  ? 

Har.  You  remember  it  exactly.  Bal.  Wait  there;  I'll 
return  to  you  this  instant. 

Har.  Make  haste,  then,  with  all  speed,  for  I'm  in  a  hurry. 
'Tis  now  late  in  the  day,  d'ye  see  ? 

Bal.  I  see ;  still  I  wish  to  call  this  person  aside.  Do  you 
only  wait  there  ;  I'll  return  to  you  this  instant.  {He  takes 
Simo  on  one  side.)  "What's  to  be  done  now,  Simo  ?  What 
are  we  to  do  ?  I've  detected  this  fellow  that  has  brought  the 
money  in  the  fact. 

Simo.  How  so  ?  Bal.  And  don't  you  understand  what 
this  plan  is  ? 

Simo.  About  as  much  as  the  most  ignorant  do. 

Bal.  Tour  servant,  Pseudolus,  has  sent  this  fellow  on  the 
message,  as  though  he  was  from  the  Macedonian  Captain. 

Simo.  Have  you  got  the  money  from  the  fellow  ? 

Bal.  Do  you  ask  about  that  which  you  see  ?  (Shows  the 
purse  in  his  hand.) 

Simo.  Harkye,  remember  to  give  me  one  half  of  that 
plunder.     It's  right  that  that  should  be  in  common. 

Bal.  Why,  plague  on't,  'tis  all  your  own1. 

Har.  (coming  forward  a  step).  How  soon  are  you  going  to 
attend  to  me  ? 

Bal.  I'll  attend  to  you,  indeed.  (Aside?)  What  now  do 
you  advise  me  to  do,  Simo  ? 

Simo.  (aside).  Let's  make  some  fun  of  this  counterfeit 
spy,  even  until  he  himself  shall  be  sensible  that  he  is  being 
made  a  fool  of. 

Bal.  Follow  me.  (To  Harpax.)  What  have  you  to  say  ? 
You  are  his  servant,  I  suppose  ? 

Har.  Most  certainly.  Bal.  At  what  price  did  he  pur- 
chase you? 

Har.  With  the  victory  of  his  prowess  in  battle ;  for  I  was 
a  very  great  general  at  home  in  my  own  country. 

Bal.  Why,  did  he  ever  capture  a  gaol  in  your  country  ? 
Har.  If  you  utter  affronting  speeches,  you'll  be  hearing 
them. 

1  Youroion)— Ver.  1165.    Meaning  th*t,  no  doubt,  Pseudolus  had  6tolen  A 
from  him. 


So.  VII  OR,  THE  CHEAT.  309 

Bal.  Iii  what  time  did  you  come  from  Sicyon  hither  ? 

Har.  In  one  day,  by  noon.  Simo.  Bravo  !  By  my  troth, 
yon  did  come  quickly ;  how  very  swift  of  foot  this  man  is. 

Bal.  When  you  look  at  his  calves,  you  might  know  that 
he  can  wear  heavy  fetters.  How  say  you — were  you  also, 
when  a  child,  in  the  habit  of  sleeping  in  a  cradle  ? 

Simo.  Of  course.  Bal.  And  were  you,  too,  in  the  habit 
of  doing1 — you  know  what  I  mean  ? 

Simo.  Of  course  he  was  in  the  habit  of  doing  as  other 
children  did? 

Har.  Are  you  men  in  your  senses?  Bal.  What,  be- 
cause I  asked  you  that  ?  At  night,  when  the  Captain  was 
going  on  guard,  and  when  you  were  going  with  him,  did  the 
sword  of  the  officer  fit  your  scabbard  ? 

Ha.r.  Gro  to  utter  perdition.  Bal.  Tou,  indeed,  shall 
have  the  opportunity  of  going  there  in  good  time  to-day. 

Har.  But  do  you  bring  out  the  woman  to  me,  or  else  give 
me  back  the  money. 

Bal.  Wait  a  hit.     Har.  Why  should  I  wait  ? 

Bal.  That  scarf,  tell  me  for  how  much  it  has  been  lent. 
-  Har.  What  matters  it  ?      Simo.  How  much  is  the  sword 
hired  for  ? 

Har.  These  fellows  surely  stand  in  need  of  hellebore2. 

Bal.  How  now — {Takes  hold  of  him.)  Har.  {repulsing 
him).  Leave  me  alone. 

Bal.  What  wages  does  that  broad-brimmed  hat  hire  to- 
day for  its  owner  ? 

Har.  What  owner  ?  Simo.  What  do  the  shoes  ?  *  * 
*         *         #         #         # 

Har.  What  are  you  dreaming  about  ?  Why,  I'm  the 
owner  of  all  these  things,  bought  writh  my  own  savings. 

Bal.  Those,  you  mean,  which  the  upper  part  of  your 
thighs  supports3. 

1  The  habit  of doing)— Ver.  1178.  An  indecent  allusion  is  most  probably  here 
intended.  An  attempt  lias  been  made  in  the  translation  to  turn  it  into  another 
channel. 

2  Have  need  of  hellebore) — Ver.  1 184.  Black  hellebore  was  much  esteemed  in 
cases  of  madness.  Harpax  has  really,  from  their  way  of  proceeding,  some  reason 
to  think  that  the  persons  in  conversation  with  him  are  not  in  their  right  senses. 

3  Your  thighs  supports)— Ver.  1189.  Unless  a  more  gross  allusion  is  in- 
tended, he  means  that  his  "  peculium*'  is  not  his  "  savings"  (which  is  the  strict 
meaning  of  the  word),  but  his  back  and  flanks,  which  often  receive  on  them 
the  punishment  of  servitude,  ana  which  alone  he  can  caB  his  own. 


310  PSEUDOLUS.  Act  IV 

Har.  (aside).  These  old  fellows  have  been  anointed ;  they 
want  themselves  rubbed  down1,  after  the  old-fashioned  custom. 

Bal.  I'  faith,  prithee,  answer  me  this  truly  and  seriously, 
which  I  ask  of  you :  "What  are  you  to  earn  ?  For  how  trifling 
a  sum  has  Pseudolus  hired  you  ? 

Har.  Who  is  this  Pseudolus  ?  Bal.  Tour  tutor,  who 
has  instructed  you  in  this  knavery,  to  take  away  the  woman 
hence  from  me  by  stratagem. 

Har.  What  Pseudolus,  and  what  stratagem  are  you  talk- 
ing to  me  about  ?  A  person  that  I  know  of  no  colour,  black 
or  white. 

Bal.  Will  you  not  be  off  from  here  ?  There's  no  profit  here 
for  swindlers  to-day.  Therefore  you  may  tell  Pseudolus  that 
another  person  has  carried  off  the  prize — the  first  Harpax 
that  came. 

Har.  On  my  word,  I  really  am  that  Harpax. 

Bal.  Aye,  on  my  word,  you  want  to  be.  This  is  nothing 
more  nor  less  than  a  downright  impostor. 

Har.  I  have  given  yourself  the  money,  and  a  while  ago,  im- 
mediately on  my  arrival,  the  token  to  your  servant ;  a  letter 
sealed  with  the  likeness  of  my  master,  here  before  the  door. 

Bal.  You  gave  a  letter  to  my  servant  ?   What  servant  ? 

Har.  To  Syrus.  Bal.  (to  Simo).  The  wicked  rogue  has 
assurance  enough2.  He  hasn't  contrived  his  knavish  scheme 
amiss.  By  my  faith,  that  whipping-post  of  a  fellow,  Pseudolus, 
how  cleverly  he  has  managed  his  plans ;  just  as  much  money 
as  the  Captain  owed,  he  has  given  this  man,  and  has  dressed 
out  the  fellow  that  he  might  take  away  the  woman  *  * 
******  (To  Harpax.)  But  the 
real  Harpax  himself  brought  that  letter  hither  to  me. 

Har.  My  name  is  Harpax ;  I  am  the  servant  of  the  Mace- 
donian Captain.  I'm  doing  nothing  roguishly  or  cheatinglv, 
nor  do  I  know  or  understand  this  Pseudolus,  what  mortal 
being  he  is. 

Simo.  Unless  it's  something  wonderful,  procurer,  3rou've 
clearly  lost  the  woman. 

1  Themselves  rubbed  down) — Ver.  1190.  After  bathing,  the  Greeks  and  Romans 
were  in  the  habit  of  being  anointed,  and  then  rubbed  down  with  a  flesh-brush. 
Probably  the  latter  custom  had  gone  out  of  fashion  in  the  time  of  Plautus. 
Harpax  says  that  the  old  men  want  to  be  rubbed  down ;  but  he  means,  as  uncle 
Bowling  expresses  it  in  Roderick  Random,  "  with  an  oaken  towel." 

2  Has  assurance  enough) — Ver.  1204.  The  note  of  interrogation,  in  RUscLe^ 
edition,  after  "  nequam,"  seems  to  be  out  of  place. 


Se.  VII.  OK,  THE  CHEAT.  811 

Bal.  Assuredly,  by  my  troth,  I'm  in  dread  of  that  more 
and  more,  when  I  come  to  hear  his  words.  I'  faith,  that 
Syrus,  too,  has  already  set  my  heart  ^-freezing,  that  received 
the  token  from  him. 

Simo.  "lis  a  wonder  if  it  isn't  Pseudolus.  (To  Haepax.) 
How  now,  you !  of  what  appearance  was  the  person  to  whom 
you  delivered  the  token  ? 

Har.  A  certain  red-haired  fellow1,  pot-bellied,  with  thick- 
calves,  swarthy,  with  a  big  head,  sharp  eyes,  red  face,  and 
very  large  feet. 

Bal.  You  prove  our  undoing,  when  you  mention  the  feet. 
It  was  Pseudolus  himself.  It's  all  up  with  me.  -I'm  dying 
now,  Simo. 

Har.  By  my  troth,  I  shan't  let  you  die,  unless  the  money's 
returned  me — twenty  minse. 

Simo.  And  another  twenty  minse  to  me  as  well. 

Bal.  (to  Simo).  And  is  the  sum  to  be  taken  of  me  that 
I  promised  by  way  of  a  joke  ? 

Simo.  From,  unprincipled  men  it's  proper  for  both  their 
money  and  their  plunder  to  be  taken. 

Bal.  At  least  you  might  give  up  Pseudolus  to  me. 

Simo.  I,  give  up  Pseudolus  to  you  ?  What  has  he  done 
amiss  r  Did  I  not  tell  you  a  hundred  times  that  you  were 
to  beware  of  him  ? 

Bal.  He  has  ruined  me.  Simo.  And  on  me  he  has  laid  a 
fine  of  twenty  fair  minse. 

Bal.  What  am  I  to  do  then  ?  Har.  When  vou  have  given 
me  the  money — go  hang  yourself. 

Bal.  The  Grods  confound  you.  (To  Harpax.)  Follow  me, 
then,  this  way,  please,  to  the  Forum,  that  I  may  pay  you. 

Har.  I  follow  you.     Simo.  What  am  I  to  do  ? 

Bal.  Strangers  I'll  pay  at  once  ;  to-morrow  I'll  settle 
with  fellow-citizens.  Pseudolus  has  been  holding  a  council- 
general3  against  my  life,  in  sending  that  fellow  to  me  to-dav 

1  Red-haired  fellow) — Ver.  1218.  Some  Commentators  fancy  that  in  these  lines 
Plautus  intends  to  give  a  description  of  himself.  If  so,  he  certainly  was  not  bo 
handsome  as  he  was  ingenious. 

2  A  council-general} — Ver.  1232.  " Centuriata habmt  comitia."  Literally," has 
held  the  comitia  centuriata."  These  were  the  largest  and  most,  important  meetings 
of  the  centuries  or  classes  of  all  the  Roman  citizens,  who  there  met  together  for 
the  purpose  of  electing  the  superior  magistrates  by  their  votes,  making  laws, 
■ieciding  upon  war,  and  in  later  times,  of  concluding  peace  with  foreign  nations 


312  PSEUDOLUS  ;  Act  V. 

to  carry  off  the  woman.  {To  Hakpax.)  Do  you  follow  me. 
{To  the  Audience.)  Now  don't  you  be  expecting  that  I  shall 
be  returning  home  this  way.  As  matters  stand,  I've  deter- 
mined to  go  through  the  alleys. 

Hah.  If  you  had  walked  at  the  rate  you  talk,  you'd  hy 
this  have  been  at  the  Forum. 

Bal.  I'm  determined  to  make  this,  instead  of  my  birthday, 
my  dying  day.  {Exit  Ballio,  HAKYAxfolloioing. 

Scene  VIII. — Simo,  alone. 

Simo.  I've  touched  this  fellow  handsomely,  and  cleverly 
has  my  servant  managed  his  adversary.  Now  am  I  resolved 
to  lie  in  ambush  for  Pseudolus  in  a  different  manner  to  what's 
done  in  other  plays,  where  people  lie  in  wait  with  goads  or 
whips.  "Without  revenge  will  I  at  once  pay  down  the  twenty 
minae  which  I  promised  if  he  should  effect  it.  I'll  carry 
them  to  him  of  my  own  accord.  This  creature  is  very  clever, 
very  cunning,  very  artful.  Pseudolus  has  surpassed  the 
Trojan  stratagem1  and  Ulysses  too.  Now  I'll  be  off  in-doors. 
I'll  take  out  the  money;  I'll  lie  in  ambush  for  Pseudolus. 
{Goes  into  his  house.) 

Act  V. — Scene  I. 
Enter  Pseudolus,  drunk,  with  a  chaplet  on  his  head. 

Pseud,  {staggering).  How's  this?  And  is  it  the  fact? 
Feet — are  you  standing  or  not  ?  Or  is  it  this  you  want,  some 
one  to  pick  me  up  here  as  I  lie  ?  But,  by  my  faith,  if  I  do  fall 
down,  yours  will  be  the  fault.  Are  you  going  to  go  ?  Heigho  1 
I  must  wait  upon  myself.  This  is  the  great  fault  in 
wine  ;  it  first  lays  hold  of  the  feet ;  'tis  a  cunning  wrestler. 
By  my  faith,  assuredly  am  I  now  come  off  right  well  drenched ; 
with  such  exquisite  viands,  with  such  becoming  elegance, 
in  such  a  delightful  place,  have  we  been  delightfully  enter- 
tained. "What's  the  need  for  me  to  make  much  prosing  ? 
This  is  the  thing  for  a  man,  an  object  for  him  to  pass  his 
life  for  ;  here  are  all  pleasures  and  all  delights.  I  think  that 
the  ecstasy  is  equal  to  that  of  the  Deities,  when  the  lover 

As  these  important  things  were  done  with  due  deliberation,  Ballio  borrows  a 
figure  thence,  and  means  that  Pseudolus  lias  been  giving  all  attention  to  the 
promotion  of  the  success  of  the  plot  which  he  has  laid  against  him. 

1  The  Trojan  stratagem) — Ver.  1244.  He  probably  alludes  to  the  contrivanc« 
^f  fie  Wooden  Horse,  which  was  first  suggested  bv  Ulv**** 


8c.  I.  OE,  THE  CHEAT.  313 

embraces  his  mistress,  when  he  places  lip  to  lip,  when  melting 
kisses  are  exchanged,  when  breast  is  pressed  to  breast,  or 
else,  if  they  please,  they  are  locked  in  strict  embrace ;  then 
for  your  most  loving  mistress,  with  her  white  hand,  to  be 
pledging  you  in  the  luscious  goblet,  for  no  one  there  to  be 
disagreable  to  another,  for  no  one  to  be  indulging  in  silly 
conversation ;  for  unguents  and  perfumes,  ribbons1  and  fes- 
tive wreaths,  to  be  provided  in  profusion ;  and  for  the  rest 
of  the  entertainment,  too,  to  be  provided  in  no  niggardly  style. 
That  no  one  may  have  to  question  me  then,  in  this  manner 
have  myself  and  my  young  master  been  spending  this  day  in 
jollity.  After  I  had  fulfilled  all  my  task  just  as  I  intended,  the 
enemy  put  to  flight,  I  was  leaving  them  reclining  and  drinking, 
each  lover  with  his  mistress,  and  my  own  mistress  there  as  well, 
indulging  heart  and  soul.  But  after  I  had  risen,  they  begged 
me  to  dance.  After  this  fashion  (lie  dances)  did  I  show  my- 
self off  there  quite  charmingly,  in  a  master-like  style,  to  wit ; 
for  I  am  thoroughly  acquainted  with  the  Ionian  step.  Thus, 
clad  in  my  little  mantle,  full  of  fun,  I  was  stepping  about, 
this  way.  Some  of  them  clapped  me,  others  cried  out  for 
me  to  dance  again.  In  that  same  Ionian  fashion  once  again 
did  I  begin  to  take  a  turn ;  I  presented  myself  to  my  mis- 
tress, that  she  might  caress  me ;  as  I  was  pirouetting,  down 
I  tumbled :  that  was  the  funeral  dirge2  for  my  sport.     And 

so,  while  I  was  a-struggling  to  get  up,  near  ,  almost,  1 

mean,  I  soiled  my  mantle.  Then,  by  my  troth,  I  was  the 
cause  of  plenteous  mirth.  A  goblet  was  presented  me  on 
account  of  my  fall.  Forthwith  I  changed  my  mantle,  and 
put  on  this ;  thence  have  I  come  hither,  that  I  might  get 
rid  of  my  surfeit.  Now  I'm  going  to  my  old  master,  to 
put  him  in  mind  of  our  bargain.  Open — open  the  door. 
Hallo,  there !  Tell  Simo,  somebody,  that  I'm  here.  {Knocks 
at  the  door  o/Simo's  house.) 

1  Ribbons) — Ver.  1265.  "  Lemniscos."  According  to  Festus,  "lemnisci"  were 
purple  ribbons  wrapped  round  one  another,  and  hanging  down  from  the  wreaths 
which  the  ancients  wore  on  their  heads  at  their  entertainments.  From  a  passage 
in  Pliny  it  would  appear  that  these  ribbons  were  in  general  only  worn  by  persons 
of  distinction.    The  translation  of  1.  1260  has  necessarily  been  somewhat  modified. 

2  The  funeral  dirge) — Ver.  127S.  The  word  "  Najnia,"  or  "  nenia,"  has  several 
meanings,  among  others,  tnat  of  '*  a  funeral  dirge,"  which  is  probably  its  meaning 
here.  Pseudolus  intends  to  say  that  his  fall,  so  far  as  he  wab  concerned,  put  an 
end  to  his  enjoying  the  amusement  of  dancing  any  further. 


314*  pseudolus  ;  Act  V. 

Scene  II. — Enter  Simo1,  from  his  house. 

Simo.  The  voice  of  a  rascally  fellow  is  calling  me  out  oi 
doors.  {He  stares  at  Pseudolus.)  But  what's  this?  How's 
this  ?     What  is  it  I  see  in  this  guise  ? 

Pseud,  {staggering  towards  him).  Your  own  Pseudolus, 
drunk,  with  a  cnaplet  on2. 

Simo.  {to  himself).  By  my  troth,  this  is  free  and  easy 
indeed.  But  see  his  attitude ;  is  he  on  my  account  a  bit 
the  mere  afraid  ?  I'm  thinking  whether  I  shall  address 
him  harshly  or  kindly.  But  this  {pointing  to  a  purse  in  his 
hand)  that  I'm  carrying  forbids  me  to  use  rough  measures 
towards  him  just  now  ;  if  there's  any  hope  for  me,  centred 
in  this. 

Pseud,  {staggering  up  to  Simo).  A  worthless  fellow  is 
coming  to  meet  the  best  of  men. 

Simo.  May  the  Gods  bless  you,  Pseudolus.  (Pseudolus 
eructates.)    Poh!  go  to  utter  perdition.     {Pushes  him  away.) 

Pseud.  But  why  should  I  have  that  mischance  befal  me  ? 

Simo.  Why,  the  plague,  in  your  drunkenness,  are  you 
eructating  in  my  face  ? 

Pseud.  Hold  me  up,  steadily;  take  care  that  I  don't  fall. 
Don't  you  see  me,  how  drenched  and  soaking  I  am  ? 

Simo.  What  impudence  is  this,  for  you  to  be  going  about 
this  way  in  broad  daylight,  drunk,  with  a  chaplet  on  ? 

Pseud.  Such  is  my  pleasure.  {Eructates  again.)  SiMO.AVhy 
your  pleasure  ?   Do  you  persist  in  eructating  in  my  very  face  ? 

Pseud.  An  eructation  is  comforting  to  me ;  do  indulge  me 
in  it ;  do  but  stand  off. 

Simo.  For  my  part  I  really  do  believe,  you  villain,  that  you 
are  able  in  a  single  hour  to  drink  up  four  right  plentiful 
vintages  of  the  Massic  hills3. 

1  Enter  Simo) — All  the  former  editions  introduced  Ballio  in  this  scene,  and  put 
in  his  mouth  much  of  what  really  belongs  to  Simo.  The  astute  Eitschel  saw  the 
absurdity  of  this,  and  has  rectified  the  text  accordingly. 

2  With  a  chaplet  on) — Ver.  1287.  Pseudolus  lays  some  stress  on  this,  as  slaves 
were  not  permitted  to  wear  chaplets.  He,  however,  presumes  on  the  fact  of 
Simo  being  in  his  debt. 

3  The  Massic  hills) — Ver.  1303.  The  Massic  hills  were  situate  in  the  Falernian 
district,  in  the  territory  of  Naples.  The  Massic  or  Falernian  wine  held  the  second 
rank  among  the  choice  wines  of  the  Romans.  It  was  considered  fit  for  drinking 
when  ten  years  old,  and  might  be  used  up  to  the  twentieth  year,  but  when  kept 

onger  was  considered  to  be  injurious  to  the  nervous  system. 


SC  II.  Oil,  THE  CHEAT.  313 

Pseud.  A  winter  hour1,  add.  Srao.  You  don't  remind 
me  amiss.  But  tell  me,  however,  v.  hence  I  am  to  say  that 
you  are  bringing  your  deeply-laden  bark  ? 

Psettd.  I've  just  been  having  a  thorough  bout  with  your 
son.  That  damsel  is  the  cause  of  this  ;  along  with  your  yon 
she  is  carousing,  a  free  woman. 

Simo.  You  are  a  most  worthless  fellow. 

Pseud.  But,  Simo,  wasn't  Ballio  nicely  diddled?  How 
well  I  carried  what  I  told  you  into  effect. 

Simo.  I  know  everything  in  its  order,  just  as  you  managed 
each  particular. 

Pseud.  Why,  then,  do  you  hesitate  to  pay  me  the  money? 

Simo.  You  ask  what's  just,  I  confess;  take  it.  (Gives 
him  the  money.} 

Pseud.  But  you  declared  that  you  wouldn't  give  it  me ; 
and  still  do  you  give  it. 

Simo.  Are  you  laughing  at  me  ?  What  ?  Are  you  going 
to  take  this  from  your  master,  Pseudolus  ? 

Pseud.  With  most  willing  heart  and  soul. 

Simo.  Prithee,  can't  you  venture  to  make  me  an  abate- 
ment of  some  portion  of  this  money  ? 

Pseud.  No  :  you  shall  say  that  I  realty  am  a  greedy  fellow; 
for  you  shall  never  be  richer  by  a  single  coin  of  this  money. 

Simo.  Well,  I  really  didn't  suppose  that  it  would  ever 
come  to  pass  with  me  that  I  should  be  begging  of  you. 

Pseud.  Load  your  shoulder  with  it,  and  follow  me  this 
way.     (Pointing.) 

Simo.  I — load  myself  with  that  ?  Pseud.  You  will  load 
yourself,  I'm  sure. 

Simo.  What  am  I  to  do  to  this  fellow  ?  Doesn't  he,  con- 
trary to  my  expectation,  take  my  money,  and  then  laugh  at  me  ? 

Pseud.  Woe  to  the  conquered2 :  turn  your  back,  then. 
(Turns  him  round.) 

1  A  winter  hour) — Ver.  1304.  The  Romans  divided  the  light  part  of  the  day 
nto  twelve  hours;  consequently,   the  hours  of  the  winter  days  were  much 

shorter  than  the  summer  ones* 

2  Woe  to  the  conquered) — Ver.  1322.  The  following  was  the  origin  of  this 
expression.  When  the  Romans  capitulated  to  the  Gauls  under  Brennus,  a  thou- 
sand pounds  weight  of  gold  were  to  be  their  ransom.  When  it  was  about  to  ba 
weighed  out,  the  Gauls  brought  false  weights.  On  this  the  Roman  officer  refuse^ 
to  use  them,  whereupon  Brennus  threw  his  sword  into  the  scale,  and  exclaimed 
P  Vse  victis !"  "  Woe  to  the  conquered !"  The  expression  afterwards  became  jiro 
verbial,  as  signifying  that  no  mercy  was  to  be  expected. 


81G  PSEUDOLUS.  Act  V. 

Simo.  Oh  !  oh !  desist.     Let  me  alone — I'm  hi  pain. 

Pseud.  Were  you  not  in  pain,  I  should  be  in  pain  ;  and 
no  compassion  would  you  have  had  for  my  back,  if  I  hadn't 
this  day  managed  this. 

Simo.  There  will  be  an  opportunity  for  me  to  be  revenged 
on  you,  if  I  live. 

Pseud.  Why  do  you  threaten  ?  I've  got  a  back  of  my  own. 

Simo.  Very  well,  then.  (Moves  as  if 'going .)  Pseud.  Come 
you  back  then. 

Simo.  Why  come  back  ?  Pseud.  Only  come  you  back ; 
you  shall  not  be  deceived. 

Simo.  {turns  round).  I  am  come  back.  Pseud.  Come  and 
have  a  drink  with  me. 

Simo.  What — I,  come  ?  Pseud.  Do  as  I  ask  you.  If  you 
do  come,  I'll  let  you  take  half  of  this,  or  even  more.  (Points 
to  the  purse  in  his  hand.) 

Simo.  I'll  come  ;  take  me  where  you  like,  Pseudolus. 

Pseud.  How  now  then  ?  Are  you  at  all  angry  with  me  or 
with  your  son,  Simo,  on  account  of  these  matters  ? 

Simo.  Certainly,  not  at  all.  'Pseud,  (going).  Step  this 
way  now. 

Simo.  I  follow  you.  But  why  don't  you  invite  the  Spec- 
tators as  well  ? 

Pseud,  (turning  round).  I'  faith,  they  are  not  in  the  habit 
of  inviting  me;  and,  therefore,  I  don't  invite  them.  But  if 
you  (addressing  the  Audience)  are  willing  to  applaud  and 
approve  of  this  company  of  players,  and  this  Comedy,  I 
invite  you  for  to-morrow1. 

1  Invite  you  for  to-morrow) — Ver.  1335.  At  the  Megalensian  games  the  third 
day  was  especially  set  apart  for  scenic  representations.  Probably,  as  the  present- 
Play  was  acted  there,  it  was  on  that  occasion  announced  for  repetition  on  the  suc- 
ceeding day.  It  may  not  be  inapposite  here  to  remark  that  Cicero,  in  his  Treatise 
on  Old  Age,  informs  us  that  Plautus  entertained  a  very  high  opinion  of  this 
Play;  while  Aulus  Gellius  styles  it"Comce<lia  festissima,"  "a  most  entertaining 
Comedy."  Many  of  the  modern  Commentators  have  pronounced  it  to  be  the  mosi 
meritorious  of  the  Plays  of  Plautus. 


MEOCHMI ; 
OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS, 


Bramatts  persons'. 

Men/E"»xmus  of  Epidamnus. 

Menjechmus  Sosicles,  his  twin-brother. 

Pkniculus,  a  Parasite. 

M  essen  10,  the  servant  of  Menaxhmus  Sosicles. 

Cylindkus,  a  Cook. 

An  Old  Man,  father-in-law  of  Menaechmus  Sosicle8. 

A  Doctor. 

The  Wife  of  Men\echmus  of  Epidamnus. 
Erotium,  a  Courtesan. 
Maid-Sekvant  of  Erotium. 


Scent. — Epidamnus,  a  city  of  Illyricum.    The  house  of  Menaechmus  of  Ep:daa 
nos  is  on  one  side  of  the  street,  and  that  of  Erotium  on  the  other. 


THE    SUBJECT. 


Moschus,  a  merchant  of  Syracuse,  had  two  twin-sons  who  exactly  resemhlcC 
each  other.  One  of  these,  whose  name  was  MensBcbmns,  when  a  child,  accom- 
panied his  father  to  Tarentum,  at  Which  place  he  was  stolen  and  carried  away  to 
Epidamnus,  where  in  course  of  time  he  has  married  a  wealthy  wife.  Disagree- 
ments, however,  arising  with  her,  he  forms  an  acquaintance  with  the  Courtesan 
Erotiura,  and  is  in  the  habit  of  presenting  her  with  clothes  and  jewels  which  he 
pilfers  from  his  wife.  The  original  name  of  the  other  twin-brother  was 
Sosicles,  but  on  the  loss  of  Menaschmus,  the  latter  name  has  been  substituted  by 
their  grandfather  for  Sosicles,  in  remembrance  of  the  lost  child.  Menaechmus 
Sosicles,  on  growing  to  manhood,  determines  to  seek  his  lost  brother.  Having 
wandered  for  six  years,  he  arrives  at  Epidamnus,  attended  by  his  servant, 
Messenio.  In  consequence  of  his  resemblance  to  his  brother,  many  curious  and 
laughable  mistakes  happen  between  him  and  the  Courtesan  Erotium,  the  wife  of 
Menaechmus  of  Epidamnus,  the  Cook  Cyliudrus,  the  Parasite  Peniculus,  the 
father-in-law  of  Menaechmus  of  Epidamnus,  and  lastly  Messenio  himself.  A'. 
length,  through  the  agency  of  the  latter,  the  brothers  recognize  each  other;  on 
wnich  Messenio  receives  his  liberty,  and  Menaechmus  of  Epidtmnus  resolve^  tc 
make  sale  of  his  possessions  and  to  return  to  Syracuse,  bis  nat've  place. 


MEXiECIIMI; 
OR,  THE  TWIN -BROTHERS. 


THE  ACROSTIC  ARGUMENT. 
[Supposed  to  have  been  written  by  Priseian  the  Grammarian.] 
A  Sicilian  merchant  (Mercator)  who  had  two  sons,  on  one  being  stolen  fr)ir 
him  (Ei)1  ended  his  life.  As  a  name  (Nomen)  for  him  who  is  at  home,  his 
paternal  grandfather  (Avus)  gives  him  that  of  Mensechmus  instead  of  Sosicles. 
And  (Et)  he,  as  soon  as  he  is  grown  up,  goes  to  seek  his  brother  about  (Circum) 
all  countries.  At  last  he  comes  to  Epidamnus ;  hither  (Hue)  the  one  that  was 
stolen  has  been  carried.  All  think  that  the  stranger,  Menaechmus  {3Iencech- 
mum),  is  their  tVllow-citizen,  and  address  him  (Eum)  as  such:  Courtesan, 
wife,  and  father-in-law.  There  (Jbi)  at  last  the  brothers  mutually  recognize 
each  other. 


THE    PKOLOGrUE. 

Isr  the  first1  place  now,  Spectators,  at  the  commencement, 
do  I  wish  health  and  happiness2  to  myself  and  to  yon.  I 
bring  yon  Plautua,  with  my  tongue,  not  with  my  hand :  I  beg 
that  you  will  receive  him  with  favouring  ears.  Now  learn  the 
argument,  and  give  your  attention ;  in  as  few  words  as  pos- 
sible will  I  be  brief.  And,  in  fact,  this  subject  is  a  Greek 
one ;  still,  it  is  not  an  Attic3,  but  a  Sicilian  one.  But  in 
their  Comedies  the  poets  do  this ;  they  feign  that  all  the 
business  takes  place  at  Athens4,  in  order  that  it  may  appear 

1  In  theJirst)—Yer.  1.  This  Play  was  the  foundation  of  Shakspeare's  Comedy 
of  Errors.    See  the  Note  at  the  end  of  the  Play. 

-  Health  and  happiness)— Ver.  1.  "  Salutem  propitiam."  Literally,  "  propi- 
tious health." 

3  It  is  not  an  Attic) — Ver.  7.  "  Graecissat — Atticissat — Sicelissat."  Perhaps 
these  words  might  be  more  literally  translated,  "  Grsecize,"  "  Atticize,"  and 
"  Sieilicize." 

*  At  Athens) — Ver.  10.  As  the  majority  of  the  Greek  Comic  Poets  were  either 
natives  of,  or  residents  at,  Athens,  they  would  naturally  take  that  extensive, 
opulent,  and  bustling  city  as  the  scene  of  many  of  their  Comedies.  In  the  time 
of  Plautus,  Greek  was  yet  the  language  of  the  Sicilians.  In  Cicero's  time  the 
language  of  the  Sicilians  was  a  mixture,  partly  Greek  and  partly  Latin.  Apuleius 
informs  us  that  in  his  day  they  spoke  Greek,  Latin,  and  a  language  peculiar  to 
themselves,  called  the  Sicilian. 


320  MENiECHMI ; 

the  more  Grecian  to  you.  I  will  not  tell  you  that  this  matter 
happened  anywhere  except  where  it  is  said  to  have  happened. 
This  has  been  my  preface  to  the  subject  of  this  play.  Now 
will  I  give  the  subject,  meted  out.  to  you,  not  in  a  measure, 
nor  yet  in  a  threefold  measure1,  but  in  the  granary  itself ; 
so  great  is  my  heartiness  in  telling  you  the  plot. 

There  was  a  certain  aged  man,  a  merchant  at  Syracuse3 ;  to 
him  two  sons  were  born,  twins,  children  so  like  in  appearance 
that  their  own  foster-mother3,  who  gave  the  breast,  was 
not  able  to  distinguish  them,  nor  even  the  mother  herself  who . 
had  given  them  birth  ;  as  a  person,  indeed,  informed  me  who 
had  seen  the  children ;  I  never  slw  them,  let  no  one  of  you 
fancy  so.  After  the  children  were  now  seven  years  old,  the 
father  freighted  a  large  ship  with  much  merchandize.  The 
father  put  one  of  the  twins  on  board  the  ship,  and  took  him 
away,  together  with  himself,  to  traffic  at  Tarentum4 ;  the  other 
one  he  left  with  his  mother  at  home.  By  accident,  there  were 
games  at  Tarentum  when  he  came  there :  many  persons,  as 
generally  happens  at  the  games,  had  met  together ;  the  child 
strayed  away  there  from  his  father  among  the  people.  A  cer- 
tain merchant  of  Epidamnus  was  there ;  he  picked  up  the 
child,  and  carried  it  away  to  Epidamnus5.  But  its  father,  after 
he  had  lost  the  child,  took  it  heavily  to  heart,  and  through 
grief  at  it  he  died  a  few  days  after  at  Tarentum.  Now,  after 
new3  reached  the  grandfather  of  the  children  at  home  about 
this  matter,  how  that  one  of  the  children  had  been  stolen,  the 
grandfather  changed  the  name  of  that  other  twin.  So  much 
did  he  love  that  one  which  had  been  stolen,  that  he  gave  his 

1  A  threefold  measure) — Ver.  15.  "  Trimodius."  This  was  a  measure  for 
corn,  consisting  of  three  "  modii,"  which  last  contained  about  a  peck  of  English 
measure. 

2  At  Syracuse) — Ver.  17.  Syracuse  was  the  principal  city  of  Sicily  famed  for 
its  commerce  and  opulence. 

Foster-mother) — Ver.  19.    "  Mater."    Literally,  "  mother." 

4  At  Tarentum) — Ver.  27.  Tarentum  was  a  city  of  Calabria,  in  the  south  of 
Italy.     It  was  said  to  have  been  founded  by  the  Lacedaemonians. 

5  To  Epidamnus) — Ver.  33.  Epidamnus,  or  Epidamnum,  was  a  town  of  Mace- 
donia, situate  on  the  Adriatic  Sea.  It  was  much  resorted  to  for  the  purpose  of 
transit  to  the  opposite  shores  of  Italy.  It  received  its  original  name  from  Epidamnus, 
one  of  its  kings :  but  on  falling  into  the  possession  of  the  Romans,  they  changed  its 
name,  as  we  are  informed  by  Pliny  the  Elder,  into  Dyrrachium,  from  a  superstitious 
notion  that  when  hey  were  going  to  "  Epidamnum,"  they  were  going  "  to  their 
loss,"  as  "  damnum"  is  the  Latin  for  "  loss"  or  "  destruction,"  and  Wt,  or  "  epi, 
is  the  Greek  preposition  'iguifyiiut     to       Cicero  was  banished  to  this  place. 


OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHEltS.  321 

name  to  the  one  that  was  at  home.  That  you  may  not  mis- 
take hereafter,  I  tell  you  then  this  beforehand ;  the  name  of 
both  the  twin-brothers  is  the  same.  He  gave  the  same 
name  of  Mensechmus  to  this  one  as  the  other  had ;  and  by  the 
same  name  the  grandfather  himself  was  called.  I  remember 
his  name  the  more  easily  for  the  reason  that  I  saw  him  cried 
with  much  noise1.  Now  must  I  speed  back  on  foot  to  Epi- 
damnus,  that  I  may  exactly  disclose  this  matter  to  you.  If 
any  one  of  you2  wishes  anything  to  be  transacted  for  him  at 
Epidamnus,  command  me  boldly  and  speak  out ;  but  on  these 
terms,  that  he  give  me  the  means  by  which  it  may  be  transacted 
for  him.  For  unless  a  person  gives  the  money,  he  will  be  mis- 
taken ;  (in  a  lower  tone)  except  that  he  who  does  give  it  will  be 
very  much  more  mistaken2".  But  I  have  returned  to  that  place 
whence  I  set  forth,  and  yet  I  am  standing  in  the  self-same  spot. 
This  person  of  Epidamnus,  whom  I  mentioned  just  now,  that 
stole  that  other  twin  child,  had  no  children,  except  his  wealth. 
He  adopted  as  his  son  the  child  so  carried  off,  and  gave  him 
a  well-portioned  wife,  and  made  him  his  heir  when  he  himself 
died.  For  as,  by  chance,  he  was  going  into  the  country,  when 
it  had  rained  heavily,  entering,  not  far  from  the  city,  a  rapid 
stream,  in  its  rapidity4  it  threw  the  ravisher  of  the  child  off 
his  legs,  and  hurried  the  man  away  to  great  and  grievous 
destruction.  And  so  a  very  large  fortune  fell  to  that  youth. 
Here  (pointing  to  the  house)  does  the  stolen  twin  now  dwell. 
Now  that  twin,  who  dwells  at  Syracuse,  has  come  this  day  to 
Epidamnus  with  his  servant  to  make  enquiry  for  this  own 
twin-brother  of  his.  This  is  the  city  of  Epidamnus  while 
this  play  is  acting ;  when  another  shall  be  acted,  it  will 
become  another  town ;  just  as  our  companies,  too,  are  wont 
to  be  shifted  about.  The  same  person  now  acts  the  procurer, 
now  the  youth,  now  the  old  man,  the  pauper,  the  beggar,  the 
king,  the  parasite,  the  soothsayer    *  *  *  * 

#'*  #  •  *  #  #  * 

1  Cried  with  much  noise) — Ver.  48.  Probably  the  word  "  flagitarier"  means 
that  the  lost  child  was  cried  publicly  by  the  "praeco,"  or  "crier." 

2  //  any  one  of  you) — Ver.  51.  This  is  said  facetiously  to  the  Audience  fur 
the  purpose  of  catching  a  laugh. 

8  Very  much  more  mistaken) — Ver.  55.  Because  he  will  keep  the  money  and 
not  execute  the  commission. 

4  In  its  rapidity) — Ver.  65.  He  means  to  pun  upon  the  words  "  rapidus," 
4  rapid'' or  "carrying  away,"  and  "raptor,"  the  " carrier  away"  or  "ravisher/ 
*  The  stream  carried  away  the  carrier  away  " 

\ 


822  MENJ3CHMI  ;  Act  I 

Act  I.  —  Scene  I. 

Enter  Penictjlus 

Pen.  The  young  men  have  given  me  the  name  of  Pem- 
culus1,  for  this  reason,  because  when  I  eat,  I  wipe  the  tables 
clean.  ********* 
The  persons  who  bind  captives  with  chains,  and  who  put 
fetters  upon  runaway  slaves,  act  very  foolishly,  in  my  opinion 
at  least.  For  if  bad  usage  is  added  to  his  misfortune  for  a 
wretched  man,  the  greater  is  his  inclination  to  run  away  and 
to  do  amiss.  For  by  some  means  or  other  do  they  release  them- 
selves from  the  chains  ;  while  thus  fettered,  they  either  wear 
away  a  link  with  a  file,  or  else  with  a  stone  they  knock  out 
the  nail ;  'tis  a  mere  trifle  this.  He  whom  you  wish  to  keep 
securely  that  he  may  not  run  away,  with  meat  and  witli  drink 
ought  he  to  be  chained.;  do  you  bind  down  the  mouth  of  a 
man  to  a  full  table.  So  long  as  you  give  him  what  to  eat  and 
what  to  drink  at  his  own  pleasure  in  abundance  every  day, 
i'  faith  he'll  never  run  away,  even  if  he  has  committed  an 
offence  that's  capital;  easily  will  you  secure  him  so  long  as 
you  shall  bind  him  with  such  chains.  So  very  supple  are 
these  chains  of  food,  the  more  you  stretch  them  so  much 
the  more  tightly  do  they  bind.  But  now  I'm  going  directly 
to  MensDchmus  ;  whither  for  this  long  time  I  have  been  sen- 
tenced, thither  of  my  own  accord  I  am  going,  that  he  may 
enchain  me.  For,  by  my  troth,  this  man  does  not  nourish 
persons,  but  he  quite  rears  and  reinvigorates  them ;  no  one 
administers  medicine  more  agreably.  Such  is  this  young 
man ;  himself  with  a  xerj  well-stocked  larder,  he  gives  dinners 
fit  for  Ceres2  ;  so  does  he  heap  the  tables  up,  and  piles  so  vast 
of  dishes  does  he  arrange,  you  must  stand  on  your  couch  if  you 
wish  for  anything  at  the  top.  But  I  have  now  had  an  interval 
these  many  days,  while  I've  been  lording  it  at  home  all  along 

J  Name  of  Peniculus)—Ver.  77.  This  word  means  "  a  sponge"  which  was 
fastened  to  a  stick,  and  was  used  for  the  purpose  of  cleansing  tables.  He  says 
that  the  youths  so  called  him  from  his  own  propensity  for  clearing  the  tables  of 
their  provisions.  The  tails  of  foxes  and  of  oxen  were  also  used  as  "renicuii.'' 
Colman  and  Warner,  in  their  translations  of  Terence  and  Flautus,  rende:  «.e  word 
"  dishclout." 

*  Fit  for  Ceres) — Ver.  J  01.  As  Ceres  was  the  God  Jess  of  corn  and  the 
giver  of  plenty,  the  entertainments  in  honor  of  her  would  of  course  h-J  ver? 
bounteous. 


Bfc.  IT.  OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  323 

together  with  my  dear  ones1 ; — for  nothing  do  I  eat  or  pur- 
chase but  Avhat  it  is  most  dear.  But  inasmuch  as  dear  ones, 
when  they  are  prjvided,  are  in  the  habit  of  forsaking  us,  I  am 
now  paying  him  a  visit.  But  his  door  is  opening ;  and  see,  1 
perceive  Menaechmus  himself;  he  is  coming  out  of  doors. 
Scene  II. — Enter  Men^chhus  of  Epidamnus,from  his  house. 

Men.  {speaking  at  the  door  to  his  Wife  within).  Unless 
you  were  worthless,  unless  you  were  foolish,  unless  you  were 
stark  wild  and  an  idiot,  that  which  you  see  is  disagreable  to 
your  husband,  you  would  deem  to  be  so  to  yourself  as  well. 
Moreover,  if  alter  this  day  you  do  any  such  thing  to  me,  I'll 
force  you,  a  divorced  woman,  turned  out  of  my  doors  to  go  visit 
your  father.  For  as  often  as  I  wish  to  go  out  of  the  house, 
you  are  detaining  me,  calling  me  back,  asking  me  questions  : 
whither  I  am  going,  what  matter  I  am  about,  what  business 
I  am  transacting,  what  I  am  wanting,  what  I  am  bringing, 
what  I  have  been  doing  out  of  doors  ?  I've  surely  brought 
home  a  custom-house  officer3  as  my  wife;  so  much  am  I 
obliged  to  disclose  all  my  business,  whatever  I  have  done  and 
am  doing.  I've  had  you  hitherto  indulged  too  much.  Now, 
therefore,  I'll  tell  you  how  I  am  about  to  act.  Since  I  find 
you  handsomely  in  maids,  provisions,  wool,  gold  trinkets, 
garments,  and  purple,  and  you  are  wanting  in  nought,  you'll 
beware  of  a  mischief  if  you're  wise  ;  you'll  leave  off  watching 
your  husband.  {In  a  lower  voice.)  And  therefore,  that  you 
mayn't  be  watching  me  in  vain,  for  your  pains  I  shall  find  me  a 
mistress  to-day,  and  invite  her  to  dinner  somewhere  out  of  doors. 

Pen.  (apart).  This  fellow  pretends  that  he's  upbraiding 
his  wife,  but  he's  addressing  myself;  for  if  he  does  dine  out  of 
doors,  he  really  is  punishing  me,  not  his  wife. 

Men.  (to  himself).  Hurra!  I'  troth,  by  my  taunts  I've 
driven  my  wife  from  the  door  at  last.     Where  now  are  your 

1  With  my  dear  ones) — Ver.  105.  "  Cum  caris  meis."  When  he  says  this,  it 
might  he  supposed  that  he  is  meaning  his  family  by  these  words  of  endearment. 
The  next  line  shows  that  such  is  not  the  case.  He  has  had  a  supply  of  victuals, 
purchased  at  his  own  cost;  he  has  been  consuming  these  victuals,  and  right  dear 
(carissimum')  has  he  found  them.  He  is  now  coming  out  to  look  for  Menajchmus, 
and  to  make  up  for  lost  time. 

2  A  custom-house  officer) — Ver.  117.  The  "  portitores"  examined  those  who 
landed  or  embarked  at  any  port,  to  see  that  they  had  no  merchandize  about  them 
winch  had  not  paid  duty.  They  also  made  the  necessary  enquiries  who  the  par- 
ties were,  and  what  was  their  destination.  He  compares  his  wife  to  one  of  these 
inquisitive  per3ona 


324  MEN.ECIIMI ;  Act  f . 

intriguing  husbands  ?  Why  do  they  hesitate,  all  returning 
thanks,  to  bring  presents  to  me  who  have  fought  so  gallantly  ? 
This  mantle1  of  my  wife's  {talcing  it  from  under  his  cloak) 
I've  just  now  stolen  from  in-doors,  and  I'm  taking  it  to  my 
mistress.  This  way  it's  proper  for  a  clever  trick  to  be  played 
this  knowing  husband-watcher.  This  is  a  becoming  action, 
this  is  right,  this  is  skilful,  this  is  done  in  workman-like  style  ; 
inasmuch  as  at  my  own  risk  I've  taken  this  from  my  plague, 
this  same  shall  be  carried  off  to  destruction2.  With  the  safety 
of  my  allies3  I've  gained  a  booty  from  the  foe. 

Pen.  (aloud,  at  a  distance).  Harkye!  young  man;  pray 
what  share  have  I4  in  that  booty  ? 

Men.  I'm  undone  ;   I've  fallen  into  an  ambuscade. 

Pen.  Say  a  safeguard  rather.     Don't  be  afraid. 

Men.  What  person's  this  ?  Pen.  'Tis  I.  {Coming  up  to 
him.) 

Men.  O  my  convenient  friend — 0  my  ready  occasion, 
save  you. 

Pen.  And  save  you.  {They  shake  hands.)  Men.  What  are 
you  about  ? 

Pen.  Holding  my  good  Genius  in  my  right  hand. 

Men.  You  couldn't  have  come  to  me  more  a  propos  than 
you  have  come. 

Men.  I'm  in  the  habit  of  doing  so ;  I  understand  all  the 
points  of  ready  occasion. 

Men.  Would  you  like  to  be  witness  of  a  brilliant  exploit  ? 

Pen.  What  cook  has  cooked  it  ?  I  shall  know  at  once  if 
he  has  made  any  mistake,  when  I  see  the  remnants5. 

1  This  mantle) — Ver.  130.  The  "palla,"  a  kind  of  "mantle"  or  "cloak,"  was 
worn  indifferently  by  both  sexes  among  the  Greeks  and  Romans.  This  will 
account  for  the  circumstance  of  Mensechmus  Sosicles  wearing,  as  we  shall  see 
in  the  sequel,  the  "  palla"  of  a  female,  without  expecting  to  attract  the  notice  of 
passers-by.  The  "palla,"  which  by  the  prose  writers  is  also  called  "pallium," 
was  used  for  many  other  purposes  than  that  of  a  garment.  See  Dr.  Smith's 
Dictionary  of  Greek  and  Roman  Antiquities. 

-  To  destruction) — Ver.  133.  "Ad  damnum."  He  calls  the  Courtesan  "dam- 
num," "sheer  loss"  or  "  wastefulness" par  eminence. 

3  Of  my  allies) — Ver.  134.  By  these  he  means  the  Courtesan  Erotium  and  the 
Parasite  Peniculus,  who  have  run  no  risk  by  helping  him  to  filch  away  the 
mantle. 

4  What  share  have  /) — Ver.  135.  Thinking  himself  alluded  to  as  one  of  the 
'.socii"  or  "allies,"  the  Parasite  immediately  appears  before  bin:   and  asks  what 

enure,  then,  he  is  to  have  of  the  booty. 

When  I  see  the  remnants) — Ver.  142.  He  thinks  that  Mensechmua  ;s  alluding 


SC.  1 1.  OK,  THE  TW1N-BK0THEII8.  ,  325 

Men.  Tell  me — did  you  ever  see  a  picture  painted  on  a 
wall,  where  the  eagle  is  carrying  off  Ganymede1,  or  Venus 
Adonis  ? 

Pen.  Many  a  time.     But  what  are  these  pictures  to  me  ? 

Men.  Come,  look  at  me2.  Do  I  at  all  bear  any  resem- 
blance to  them  ? 

Pen.  "What's  this  garb  of  yours  ? 

Men.  Pronounce  me  to  be  a  very  clever  fellow, 

Pen.  Where  are  we  to  feed  ?  Men.  Only  do  you  say 
that  which  I  requested  you. 

Pen.   Well,  I  do  say  so  ;  very  clever  fellow. 

Men.  And  don't  you  venture  to  add  anything  of  your 
own  to  it  ? 

Pen.  —  And  very  pleasant  fellow.     Men.  Go  on. 

Pen.  I'  faith,  I  really  can't  go  on,  unless  I  know  for  what 
reason.  You've  had  a  fall-out  with  your  wife ;  on  that 
ground  am  I  the  more  strongly  on  my  guard3  against  you. 

Men.  While  you  are  interrupting  me,  you  are  delaying 
yourself. 

Pen.  Knock  out  my  only  eye4,  Menaechmus,  if  I  speak 
one  word  but  what  you  bid  me. 

Men.  •  *  •  •  where,  un- 

known to  my  wife,  we  will  erect  the  funeral  pile      #  * 

to  something  in  the  eating  way,  and  says  that  he  can  tell  whether  the  cook  has 
done  his  duty  well  or  not,  by  only  looking  at  the  scraps  of  the  entertainment. 

1  Ganymede) — Ver.  144.  He  is  mentioned  in  the  text  under  another  name  of 
a  gross  nature.  Ganymede  was  the  son  of  Tros,  King  of  Troy.  Jupiter  was  said, 
in  the  form  of  an  eagle,  to  have  carried  him  off,  and  made  him  cupbearer  to  the 
Gods,  in  the  place  of  Hebe,  the  Goddess  of  youth. 

2  Come,  look  at  me) — Ver.  145.  Saying  this,  he  probably  takes  the  "  palla" 
from  behind  him,  and  putting  it  on,  stalks  about  with  it  upon  him.  This  he  could 
do  without  the  risk  of  being  seen  by  his  wife,  as  on  the  Roman  stage  a  number 
of  streets  and  lanes  were  seen  to  terminate,  up  which  the  actor  would  go  a  little 
way  to  escape  observation  from  a  house  situate  just  at  the  end  of  another  street. 
He  means  to  ask  the  Parasite  if  he  does  not  quite  equal  Ganymede  or  Adonis, 
as  represented  in  the  pictures,  by  reason  of  his  tasteful  attire. 

3  On  my  guard) — Ver.  151.  As  Menajchmus  has  fallen  out  with  his  wife,  the 
Parasite  thinks  there  is  no  chance  of  a  "  coena"  at  his  house.  He  is  the  more 
carjful  then  to  make  enquiries,  lest  Menaschmus  should  contrive  to  baulk  him  of 
h:s  banquet  altogether. 

My  only  eye)  —  Ver.  152.  By  this  it  appears  that  Peniculus  has  but 
one  eye.  In  the  Curculio,  the  Parasite  of  that  name  is  also  represented  as  having 
but  one  eye. 


326  .  MENiECnMI  ;  Act  1. 

*****  and  let  us  consume 

this  day1  upon  it. 

Pen.  "Well,  come  then,  since  you  request  what's  fair,  how 
soon  am  I  to  set  fire  to  the  pile  ?  Why  really,  the  day's  half 
dead  already  down  to  its  navel2. 

Men.  Come  this  way  from  the  door. 

Pen.  Be  it  so.  (Moves  from  the  door.)  Men.  Come  still 
more  this  way. 

Pen.  Very  well.  (Moves.)  Men.  Even  still,  step  aside 
boldly  from  the  lioness's  den. 

Pen.  (still  moving).  Well  done;  by  my  troth,  as  I  fancy, 
you  really  would  be  an  excellent  charioteer3. 

Men.  Why  so  ?  Pen.  That  your  wife  mayn't  follow  you, 
you  are  looking  back  ever  and  anon. 

Men.  But  what  say  you  ?  Pen.  What,  I?  Why,  whatevei 
you  choose,  that  same  do  I  say,  and  that  same  do  I  deny. 

Men.  Could  you  make  any  conjecture  at  all  from  the 
smell,  if  perchance  you  were  to  take  a  smell  at  something  ? 

Pen.  Were  the  college  of  Augurs  summoned       * 
f  #  #  #  # 

Men.  (Jwlds  out  the  skirt  of  the  mantle).  Come  then,  take 
a  Bniff  at  this  mantle  that  I'm  holding.  What  does  it  smell 
of?     Do  you  decline  ? 

Pen.  It's  as  well  to  smell  the  top  of  a  woman's  garment ; 
for  at  this  other  place  the  nose  is  oifended  with  an  odour 
that  can't  be  washed  out. 

Men.  (holding  another  pari).  Take  a  smell  here  then, 
Peniculus,  as  you  are  so  daintily  nice. 

Pen.  Very  well.  (He  smells  it.)  Men.  How  now? 
What  does  it  smell  of  ?     Answer  me. 

1  Let  consume  this  day) — Ver.  1 55.  He  supposes  the  day  to  be  dead  so  far 
as  business  is  concerned ;  the  "  coena,"  which  generally  commenced  about  three 
o'clock  in  the  afternoon  (and  sometimes,  perhaps,  the  "  prandium"  as  well),  was 
followed  by  "  potatio"  or  "  drinking,"  which  by  such  characters  as  Mensechmus 
and  the  Parasite  would  be  prolonged  to  midnight,  when  they  would  see  the  day 
dead,  and  celebrate  its  funeral  in  their  orgies. 

2  To  its  navel) — Ver.  157.  "  Umbilicus,"  the  "  navel,"  was  a  term  much  used 
to  signify  the  middle  part  of  anything.  Thus  Delphi  was  called  the  "  umbilicus,'' 
or  '•  navel,"  of  the  world. 

3  An  excellent  charioteer) — Ver.  160.  The  drivers  of  the  chariots  at  the  Circen- 
sian  games  were  called  "  agitatores."  Of  course  they  would  look  back  every  now 
sad  then  to  see  how  near  their  opponents  were,  that  they  might  keep  thfc  lead. 


JSC.  HI.  Oil,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  327 

Pen.  Theft,  a  mistress,  and  a  breakfast.     To  y  ou  * 

Mek.  You  have  spoken  out        *  *  * 

*  *  now  it  shall  be  taken  to  this  mistress  ofmine^ 

the  Courtesan  Erotium.  I'll  order  a  breakfast  at  once  to  be 
got  ready,  for  me,  you,  and  her ;  then  will  we  booze  away 
even  to  the  morrow's  morning  star. 

Pen.  Capital.  You've  spoken  out  distinctly.  Am  I  to 
knock  at  the  door  then  ? 

Men.  Knock — or  hold,  rather.  Pen.  You've  removed1 
the  goblet  a.  full  mile  by  that. 

Men.  Knock  gently.  Pen.  You're  afraid,  I  think,  that 
the  doors  are  made  of  Samian  crockery.    {Goes  to  knock.) 

Men.  Hold,  prithee,  hold,  i'  faith ;  see,  she's  coming  out 
herself.     (The  door  of  Erotium' s  house  is  opened.)     Ha 
you  behold  the  sun,  is  it  not  quite  darkened  in  comparison 
with  the  bright  rays  of  her  person. 

Scene  III. — Enter  Erotium,  from  her  house. 

Ero.  My  life,  Menaichmus,  save  you. 

Pen.  And  what  for  me?  Ero.  You  are  out  of  my 
number. 

Pen.  ••'••-•  that 

same  thing  is  wont  to  be  done  for  the  other  supernumeraries3 
of  the  legion. 

Men.  I  would  order  a  skirmish  to  be  got  ready  there  at 
vour  house  for  me  to-day. 

Ero.  To-day  it  shall  be  done. 

Men.  In  that  skirmish  we  two  shall  drink.  Him  shall 
you  choose  that  shall  be  found  there  the  better  warrior  with 
the  goblet ;  do  you  make  up  your  mind  with  which  of  the 
two  you'll  pass  this  night.  How  much,  my  love,  when  I  look 
upon  you,  do  I  hate  my  wife. 

1  You've  removed) — Ver.  178.  Peniculus  now  loses  patience,  and  reflects 
that  there  is  many  a  slip  between  the  cup  and  the  lip. 

2  Supernumeraries) — Ver.  184.  The  "  adscriptivi,"  who  were  also  called  "  ac- 
censi,"  were  a  body  of  reserve  troops  who  followed  the  Soman  army  without  an? 
military  duties  to  perform,  and  who  were  drafted  off  to  supply  the  deficiencies 
m  the  leadens.  In  battle  they  were  placed  in  the  rear  of  the  army.  Of  course 
they  could  not  claim  the  same  advantages  as  the  regular  soldier ;  and  his  own 
position  is  liker.ed  by  the  Parasite  to  their*. 


328  men^chmi;  Act  1. 

Ero.  Meantime,  however, you  cannot  help  being  wrapped  in 
something  of  hers.    AVhat's  this  ?    {Takes  hold  of  the  mantle.) 

Men.  (talcing  it  off").  'Tis  a  new  dress  for  you,  and  a  spoil 
from1  my  wife,  my  rosebud. 

Ero.  You  have  a  ready  way  of  prevailing,  so  as  to  be 
superior  in  my  eyes  to  any  one  of  those  that  pay  me  suit. 
(Embraces  him.) 

Pen.  (aside).  The  harlot's  coaxing  in  the  meantime,  while 
she's  looking  out  what  to  plunder  *  *  *  * 

*  *  *  (to  Erotium)  for  if  you  really  loved  him,  by 
this  his  nose  ought  to  have  been  off  with  your  teething  him3. 

Men.  Take  hold  of  this,  Peniculus  :  1  wish  to  dedicate  the 
spoil  that  I've  vowed. 

Pen.  Give  it  me.  (Holds  it  while  Men^echmus  puts  it  on.) 
But,  i'  faith,  prithee,  do  dance  afterwards  with  the  mantle  on 
in  this  way. 

Men.  I — dance  ?    I'  faith,  you're  not  in  your  senses. 

Pen.  Are  you  or  I  the  most  ?  If  you  won't  dance,  then 
take  it  off. 

Men.  (to  Erotium).  At  a  great  risk  have  I  stolen  this  to- 
day. In  my  opinion,  indeed,  Hercules  didn't  ever  carry  off 
the  belt  from  Hippolyta3  with  danger  as  great.  Take  this  for 
yourself  (he  takes  it  off,  and  gives  her  the  mantle),  since  you 
are  the  only  one  alive  that's  compliant  with  my  humours. 

Ero.  With  such  feelings  'tis  proper  that  real  lovers  should 
be  animated. 

Pen.  (aside).  Those,  indeed,  who  are  making  haste  to  bring 
themselves  down  to  beggary. 

Men.  I  purchased  that  for  my  wife  a  year  since  at  the 
price  of  four  minse. 

Pen.  (aside).  The  four  minae  are  clearly  gone  for  ever,  as 
the  account  now  stands. 

1  A  spoil  from)— Ver.  191.  "  Exuviae"  means  either  the  slough  or  cast  skin  of 
a  snake,  or  the  spoil  taken  from  the  enemy.  Perhaps  the  latter  is  the  sense  m 
which  it  is  here  meant,  as  he  has  described  his  operations  as  a  perfect  campaign. 

2  With  your  teething  him) — Ver.  195.  Judging  from  this  remark,  perhaps  she 
has  accidentally  forgotten  to  kiss  her  dupe,  Meineehmus. 

3  From  Hippolyta) — Ver.  200.  Hercules  was  commanded  by  Eurystheus  to 
obtain  the  belt  or  girdle  of  Hippolyta,  or  Antiope,  the  Queen  of  the  Amazons. 
This  he  effected,  and  gave  her  in  marriage  to  his  companion  Theseus,  by  whom, 
after  giving  birth  to  Hippolvtus,  she  was  put  to  death.  Some  accounts,  however, 
etate  that  she  was  slain  by  ibrcules. 


Sc    IV.  OK,  T1IE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  329 

Men".  Do  you  know  what  I  wish  you  to  attend  to  ? 

Ero.  I  don't  know ;  but  I'll  attend  to  whatever  you  do  wish. 

Me?c.  Order  a  breakfast,  then,  to  be  provided  for  us  three 
at  your  house,  and  some  dainties  to  be  purchased  at  the 
market ;  kernels  of  boars'  neck,  or  bacon  off  the  gammon1,  or 
pig's  head,  or  something  in  that  way,  which,  when  cooked 
and  placed  on  table  before  me,  may  promote  an  appetite  like 
a  kite's  :  and — forthwith 

Ero.  I'  faith,  I  will.  Men.  "We're  going  to  the  Eorum  : 
we  shall  be  here  just  now.  "While  it's  cooking,  we'll  take  a 
whet  in  the  meantime. 

Ero.  Come  when  you  like,  the  things  shall  be  ready. 

Men.  Only  make  haste,  then.  Do  you  follow  me  (to  Peni- 
ctjltts). 

Pen.  By  my  troth,  I  certainly  shall  keep  an  eye  on  you,  and 
follow  you.  I  wouldn't  take  the  wealth  of  the  Gods  to  lose 
you  this  day.  (Exeunt  Men^chmus  and  Penictjlus. 

Ero.  (speaking  at  the  door  of  her  house).  Call  Cylindrus, 
the  cook,  out  of  doors  this  moment  from  within. 


Scene  IY. — Enter  Cylindrus.  from  the 

Ero.  Take  a  hand-basket  and  some  money.  See,  you  have 
three  didrachms  here.     (Giving  him  money.) 

Ctl.  I  have  so.  Ero.  Gro  and  bring  some  provisions , 
see  that  there's  enough  for  three ;  let  it  be  neither  deficient 
nor  overmuch. 

Cyl.  What  sort  of  persons  are  these  to  be  ? 

Ero.  Myself,  Menaechmus,  and  his  Parasite. 

Cyl.  Then  these  make  ten,  for  the  Parasite  easily  performs 
the  duty  of  eight  persons2. 

Ero.  I've  now  told  you  the  guests ;  do  you  take  care  of 
the  rest. 

Cyl.  Very  well.  It's  cooked  already ;  bid  them  go  and 
take  their  places. 

Ero.  Make  haste  back.     Cyl.  I'll  be  here  directly. 
(Exit  Cylindrus,  and  Erotium  goes  into  her  house. 

1  Bacon  off  the  gammon) — Ver.  210.  He  facetiously  calls  bacon  "  pernonides ;'' 
literally,  "  the  son  of  the  gammon." 

2  Duty  of  eight  persons) — Ver.  223.  Athenaeus,  Book  I.,  quotes  a  passage  from 
Eubulus,  the  Comic  writer,  where  he  represents  a  Parasite  as  being  counted  o* 
two  or  even  three  at  table. 


330  men^chmi ;  Act  II. 

Act  II. — Scene  I. 
Enter  Menjechmtts  Sosicles  and  Messenio. 

Men.  Sos.  There's  no  greater  pleasure  to  voyagers,  in  my 
notion,  Messenio,  than  at  the  moment  when  from  sea  they 
espy  the  land  afar. 

Mess.  There  is  a  greater,  I'll  say  it  without  subterfuge, — 
if  on  your  arrival  you  see  the  land  that  is  your  own.  But, 
prithee,  why  are  we  now  come  to  Epidamnus  ?  Why,  like 
the  sea,  are  we  going  round  all  the  islands  ? 

Men.  Sos.  To  seek  for  my  own  twin-brother  born  ? 

Mess.  Why,  what  end  is  there  to  be  of  searching  for  him  ? 
This  is  the  sixth  year  that  we've  devoted  our  attention  to  this 
business.  We  have  been  already  carried  round  the  Istrians1, 
the  Hispanians,  the  Massilians,  the  Illyrians,  all  the  Upper 
Adriatic  Sea,  and  foreign  Greece2,  and  all  the  shores  of 
Italy,  wherever  the  sea  reaches  them.  If  you  had  been 
searching  for  a  needle,  I  do  believe  you  would,  long  ere  this, 
have  found  the  needle,  if  it  were  visible.  Among  the  living 
are  we  seeking  a  person  that's  dead ;  for  long  ago  should  we 
have  found  him  if  he  had  been  alive. 

Men.  Sos.  For  that  reason  I  am  looking  for  a  person  to 
give  me  that  information  for  certain,  who  can  say  that  he 
knows  that  he  really  is  dead ;  after  that  I  shall  never  take 
any  trouble  in  seeking  farther.  But  otherwise  I  shall  never, 
while  I'm  alive,  desist ;  I  know  how  dear  he  is  to  my  heart. 

Mess.  Tou  are  seeking  a  knot  in  a  bulrush3.  Why  don't 
we  return  homeward  hence,  unless  we  are  to  write  a  history4  ? 

1  The  Istrians) — Ver.  235.  The  Istrians  were  a  people  of  the  north  of  Italy, 
near  the  Adriatic  Sea,  and  adjoining  to  Illyricum.  The  Illyrians  inhabited  the 
countries  now  called  Dalrnatia  and  Sclavonia.  The  Massilians  were  the  natives 
of  the  city  of  Massilia,  now  called  Marseilles,  in  the  south  of  France,  where 
Pontius  Pilate  ended  his  days  in  banishment.  The  Hispani  were  the  inhabitants 
of  Hispania,  now  Spain. 

2  And  foreign  Greece)— Ver.  236.  The  "  Grsecia  exotica,"  or  "  foreign  Greece," 
here  mentioned,  was  the  southern  part  of  Italy,  which  was  also  called  "  Magna 
Gra:cia,"  in  consequence  of  the  great  number  of  Grecian  settlements  there.  The 
Greeks  were  in  the  habit  of  calling  the  Sicilians  and  Calabrians  "EWrjvas 
e'£coriKoti9,  "  barbarian"  or  "  foreign  Greeks." 

3  In  a  bulrush)— Ver.  247.  Those  who  made  difficulties  when  there  really  was 
no  difficulty  at  all,  were  said  "  in  scirpo  nodum  qua3rere,"  "  to  seek  a  knot  in  a 
bulrush,"  the  stem  of  which  is  perfectly  smooth. 

4  To  lorite  a  history)— Ver.  248.  A  narrative  or  history  of  their  travels. 
Boxhoru  thinks  that  the  remark  alludes  to  the  voyage  of  Ulysses,  a  counterpart 


Sc.  I.  OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  331 

Men.  Sos.  Have  done  with  your  witty  sayings,  and  be  on 
your  guard  against  a  mischief.  Don't  you  be  troublesome ; 
this  matter  shan't  be  done  at  your  bidding. 

Mess,  (aside).  Aye,  aye ;  by  that  same  expression  do  I  rest 
assured  that  I'm  a  slave  ;  he  couldn't  in  a  few  words  have  said 
more  in  a  plain-spoken  way.  But  still  I  can't  restrain  myself 
from  speaking.  (Aloud.)  Do  you  hear,  Mensechmus  ?  When 
I  look  in  the  purse,  I  find,  i'  faith,  we're  only  equipped  for  our 
journey  like  summer  travellers1.  By  my  troth,  I  guess,  if  you 
don't  be  returning  home,  while  you're  seeking  your  twin- 
hr  other,  you'll  surely  be  groaning2,  when  you.  have  nothing 
left.  Eor  such  is  this  race  of  people ;  among  the  men  of 
Epidamnus  there  are  debauchees  and  very  great  drinkers ; 
Iwindlers  besides,  and  many  wbeedlers  are  living  in  this  city  ; 
then  the  women  in  the  harlot  line  are  said  nowhere  in  the 
world  to  be  more  captivating.  The  name  of  Epidamnus  was 
given  to  this  city  for  the  very  reason,  because  hardly  any 
person  sojourns  here  without  some  damnable  mishap3. 

Men.  Sos.  I'll  guard  against  that.  Just  give  me  the  purse 
this  way. 

Mess.  What  do  you  want  with  it? 

Men.  Sos.  I'm  apprehensive  then  about  yourself,  from 
your  expressions. 

Mess.  "Why  are  you  apprehensive  ?  Men.  Sos.  Lest  you 
should  cause  me  some  damnable  mishap  in  Epidamnus.  You 
are  a  great  admirer  of  the  women,  Messenio,  and  I'm.  a  pas- 
sionate man,  of  an  unmanageable  disposition ;  of  both  these 
things  will  I  have  a  care,  when  I've  got  the  money,  that  you 
shall  not  commit  a  fault,  and  that  I  shall  not  be  in  a  passion 
with  you. 

Mess,  (giving  him  the  purse).  Take  and  keep  it;  with  all 
my  heart  you  may  do  so. 

of  which  voyage  could  not  be  written  without  great  personal  observation,  and  an 
extensive  knowledge  of  geography. 

1  Like  summer  travellers) — Ver.  255.  Of  course  lighter  garments  and  a  less 
weight  of  luggage  would  be  carried  by  travellers  in  the  heat  of  summer 

2  You'll  surely  be  groani?iff) — Ver.  257.  He  intends  a  puerile  play  upon  the 
resemblance  of  the  words  "  gemes,"  "  will  be  groaning,"  and  "geminum,"  "twin- 
brother." 

3  Some  damnable  mishap) — Ver.  264.  "  Sine  damno."  Literally,  "  without 
mischief"  or  "  mishap."  He  puns  on  the  resemblance  of  "  damnum"  to  "  Epi- 
damnum."  An  attempt  has  been  made  in  the  translation  to  preserve  thy  resem- 
blance in  some  degree. 


332  3IEK2ECHMI ;  Act  11. 

Scene  II. — Enter  Ctlindkijs,  with  a  basket  of  provisions. 

Ctl.  I've  catered  well,  and  to  my  mind.  I'll  set  a  good 
breakfast  before  the  breakfasters.  But  see,  I  perceive  Me- 
nsechmus.  "Woe  to  my  back ;  the  guests  are  now  already 
walking  before  the  door,  before  I've  returned  with  the  pro- 
visions.    I'll  go  and  accost  him.     Save  you,  Menaechmus. 

Men.  Sos.  The  G-ods  bless  you,  whoever  you  are.  * 

Ctl.  *  *  *  who  I  am  ? 

Mess.  I'  faith,  not  I,  indeed.  Ctl.  "Where  are  the  other 
guests  ? 

Men.  Sos.  What  guests  are  yon  enquiring  about  ? 

Ctl.  Your  Parasite.  Men.  Sos.  My  Parasite  ?  Surely 
this  fellow's  deranged. 

Mess.  Didn't  I  tell  you  that  there  were  many  swindlers 
here  ? 

Men.  Sos.  What  Parasite  of  mine,  young  man,  are  you 
enquiring  about  ? 

Ctl.  Peniculus.     Men.  Sos.      *  *  *  * 

Where  is  my         #####? 

Mess.  See,  I've  got  your  sponge1  [Peniculus]  all  safe  in 
the  wallet. 

Ctl.  Mena3chmus,  you've  come  here  too  soon  for  breakfast ; 
I'm  but  now  returning  with  the  provisions. 

Men.  Sos.  Answer  me  this,  young  man :  at  what  price  do 
pigs  sell  here2,  unblemished  ones,  for  sacrifice  ? 

Ctl.  At  a  didrachm  a-piece. 

Men.  Sos.  (holding out  his  hand) .  Receive,  then,  a  didrachm  of 
me ;  bid  a  sacrifice  be  made  for  you  at  my  expense ;  for,  by  my 
faith,  I  really  am  sure  in  very  truth  that  you  are  deranged,  who 
are  annoying  me,  a  person  that's  a  stranger,  whoever  you  are. 

Ctl.  I  am  Cylindrus  ;  don't  you  know  my  name  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Whether  you  are    Cylindrus   or  Caliendrus3, 

1  I've  got  your  sponge)— Ver.  286.  Menaschmus  takes  Cylindrus  to  mean  as 
though  he  were  really  talking  about  a  "  peniculus,"  or  "  sponge,"  used  for  the 
purposes  of  a  napkin.  He  turns  to  Messenio,  and  probably  says  (in  the  mutilated 
passage),  "  Where  is  my  peniculus  ?"  on  which  the  servant,  taking  it  out  of  the 
"  vidulus,"  or  travelling-bag,  says,  ';  Here  it  is,  quite  safe." 

2  Do  pigs  sell  here) — Ver.  289.  Pigs  without  blemish  were  sacrificed  to  the  Lares, 
or  household  Gods,  in  behalf  of  those  who  were  afflicted  with  insanity.  Menaech- 
mus  Sosieles  adopts  this  as  a  quiet  way  of  telling  Cylindrus  that  he  must  be  mad. 

3  Cylindrus  or  Caliendrus) — Ver.  295.  Probably  Cylindrus  is  so  called  from  the 
words  "cylindrus,"  "a  cylinder,"  in  the  sense  of  a  "  rolling-pin."     Sosieles  plays 


Sc.  II.  OK,  THE  TWIN-BEOTHEES.  333 

confound  you.     1  don't  know  you,  and,  in  fact,  I  don't  want 
to  know  you. 

Ctl.  "Well,  your  Dame,  however,  is  Menaechmus,  that  I  do 
know. 

Men.  Sos.  Tou  speak  like  a  sane  person  when  you  call  me 
by  my  name.     But  where  have  you  known  me  ? 

Cyl.  "Where  have  I  known  you,  you  who  have  Erotium, 
this  mistress  of  mine  {'pointing  to  the  house),  for  your  lady  ? 

Men.  Sos.  By  my  troth,  I  have  not,  nor  do  I  know  your- 
self what  person  you  are. 

Ctl.  Not  know  who  I  am,  who  have  many  a  time  filled 
the  cups  for  your  own  self  at  our  house,  when  you've  been 
drinking  ? 

Mess.  Woe  to  me,  that  I've  got  nothing  with  which  to 
break  this  fellow's  head. 

Men.  Sos.  Are  you  in  the  habit  of  filling  the  cups  for  me, 
who,  before  this  day,  have  never  beheld  Epidamnus,  nor  been 
there  ? 

Ctl.  Do  you  deny  it  ?  Men.  Sos.  Upon  my  honor,  I 
decidedly  do  deny  it. 

Ctl.  Don't  you  live  in  that  house  ?  {Pointing  to  the 
house  o/Menhchmus  of  Epidamnus.) 

Men.  Sos.  May  the  Gods  send  to  perdition  those  that  live 
there. 

Cyl.  Surely,  this  fellow's  mad,  who  is  thus  uttering  curses 
against  his  own  self.     Do  you  hear,  Menaechmus  ? 

Men.  Sos.  What  do  you  want  ?  Ctl.  If  you  take  my 
advice,  that  didrachm,  wThich  you  just  now  promised  to  give 
me — you  would  order,  if  you  were  wise,  a  pig  to  be  procured 
with  it  for  yourself.  For,  i'  faith,  you  really  for  sure  are 
not  in  your  senses,  Menaechmus,  who  are  now  uttering  curses 
against  your  own  self. 

Men.  Sos.  Alas !  By  my  faith,  a  very  silly  fellow,  and  an 
annoyance  to  me. 

Ctl.  {to  Messenio).  He's  in  the  habit  of  often  joking 
with  me  in  this  fashion.  How  very  droll  he  is,  when  his 
wife  isn't  present.     How  say  yon ? 

Men.  Sos.  What  do  you  mean,  you  rascal  ? 

Ctl.  {pointing  to  the  basket).  Has  this  that  you  see  beeu 
provided  in  sufficient  quantity  for  three  persons,  or  air 
upon  its  resemblance  to  ''  cahendrus,"  which  perhaps  meant  a  M  peruke"  0/ 
"  wig,"  as  the  Latin  word  "  caliendrum"  had  that  signification. 


384  MEN^CIOII  ;  Act  II. 

I  to  provide  still  more  for  yourself  and  the  Parasite  aiid  the 
lady? 

Men.  Sos.  What  ladies — what  Parasites  are  you  talking 
about  ? 

Mess.  "What,  you  villain,  urges  you  to  be  an  annoyance  to 
him  ? 

Ctl.  Pray  what  business  have  you  with  me?  I  don't 
know  you;  I'm  talking  to  this  person,  whom  I  do  know. 

Men.  Sos.  By  my  troth,  you  are  not  a  person  in  his  right 
senses,  that  I  know  for  sure. 

Cyl.  I'll  have  these  things  cooked  directly ;  there  shall  be 
no  delay.  Don't  you  be  going  after  this  anywhere  at  a  dis- 
tance from  the  house.     Do  you  want  anything  ? 

Men.  Sos.  You  to  go  to  utter  and  extreme  perdition. 

Ctl.  I'  faith,  'twere  better  for  you  to  go  in-doors  at 
once  and  take  your  place,  while  I'm  subjecting  these  things 
to  the  strength  of  the  fire1.  I'll  go  in-doors  now,  and  tell 
Erotium  that  you  are  standing  here,  that  she  may  fetch  you 
away  hence,  rather  than  you  be  standing  here  out  of  doors. 
{He  goes  into  the  house.) 

Scene  III. — Men^chmus  Sosicles,  Messenio. 

Men.  Sos.  Is  he  gone  then  ?  He  is  gone.  By  my  faith,  I 
find  by  experience  that  your  words  are  not  untrue. 

Mess.  Do  you  only  be  on  your  guard ;  for  I  do  believe 
that  some  woman  in  the  harlot  line  is  Living  here,  as,  in  fact. 
this  madman  said,  who  has  just  gone  away  from  here. 

Men.  Sos.  But  I  wonder  how  he  came  to  know  my  name. 

Mess.  I'  faith,  'tis  far  from  surprising:  courtesans  have 
this  custom ;  they  send  servant-boys  and  servant-girls  down 
to  the  harbour ;  if  any  foreign  ship  comes  into  port,  they 
enquire  of  what  country  it  is,  and  what  its  name  is ;  after 
that,  at  once  they  set  themselves  to  work,  and  fasten  them- 
selves upon  him  ;  if  they  inveigle  him,  they  send  him  home  a 
ruined  man.  JNow  in  this  harbour  there  stands  a  piratical 
craft,  against  which  I  really  think  that  we  must  be  on  our 
guard. 

Men.  Sos.  I'  troth,  you  really  counsel  aright. 

Mess.  Then,  in  fine,  shall  I  be  sure  that  I've  counselled 
aright,  if  you  are  rightly  on  your  guard. 

Strength  of  the  fire)— Yaw  330  Vulcani  ad  violentiam.  Literally  "  to  th« 
violence  of  Vulcan,"  the  God  of  fire. 


Sc.  IV.  OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  335 

Men.  Sos.  Be  silent  for  a  moment,  then;  for  the  door 
makes  a  noise.     Let's  see  who's  coming  out  from  there. 

Mess.  Meanwhile,  I'll  lay  this  down.  {He puts  down  the 
wallet.)  Do  you  keep  watch  upon  these  things,  if  you  please, 
you  sailors1. 

Scene  IV. — Enter  ~Euotivm,  from  her  house. 

Ero.  (speaking  to  her  Servants  within).  Leave  the  door 
ajar^  thus  ;  begone.  I  don't  want  it  shut :  prepare,  attend, 
and  provide  within  ;  what  is  requisite,  let  it  be  done.  Lay  clown 
the  couches,  burn  the  perfumes  ;  neatness,  that  is  the  charm 
for  the  minds  of  lovers.  Gur  agreableness  is  for  the  lover's  loss, 
for  our  own  gain.  (To  herself.)  But  where  is  he  whom  the 
Cook  said  was  in  front  of  the  house  ?  O,  I  see  him  there — ■ 
one  who  is  of  service  to  me,  and  who  profits  me  very  much. 
And  right  willingly  is  such  usage  shown  to  him,  as  he  de- 
serves to  be  of  especial  importance  in  my  house.  Now  I'll 
accost  him ;  I'll  address  him  of  my  own  accord.  (To  Me- 
mchmus.)  My  dear  life,  it  seems  wonderful  to  me  that  you 
are  standing  here  out  of  doors,  for  whom  the  door  is  wide 
open,  more  so  than  your  own  house,  inasmuch  as  this  house 
is  at  your  service.  Everything's  ready  a,s  you  requested  and 
as  you  desired ;  nor  have  you  now  any  delay  in-doors.  The 
breakfast,  as  you  ordered,  is  prepared  here  ;  when  you  please, 
you  may  go  and  take  your  place. 

Men.  Sos.  To  whom  is  this  woman  addressing  herself? 

Ero.  Why,  Tm  talking  to  yourself. 

Men.  Sos.  What  business  have  I  ever  had  with  you,  or  have 
I  now  ? 

1  You  sailors) — Ver.350.  Some  Commentators  think  that  by  the  words  "  navales 
pedes"  he  means  "  oars,"  as  being  the  feet,  or  source  of  motion  to  the  ship,  and 
that  Messenio  puts  his  luggage  upon  some  oars  on  the  ground  close  by,  telling 
them  to  be  good  enough  to  keep  it  all  safe.  It  is  more  probable,  however, 
that  he  is  addressing  some  of  the  crew,  perhaps  the  rowers  who  have  carried  the 
luggage  from  the  ship.  Others  suggest  that  the  luggage-porters,  who  awaited 
the  arrival  of  ships  with  passengers  and  merchandize,  are  here  referred  to.  This 
line,  in  Cotter's  translation,  is  rendered,  "  Observe  these  things  now,  if  you 
please.  Behold  the  ship !"  with  this  note,  "  Navales  pedes,  the  oars  of  a  ship,  put 
for  the  ship  itself."!  De  TCEuvre  ingeniously  suggests  that  "paades"  is  ther 
correct  reading,  and  the  word  is  the  Greek  7rai8es  Latinized,  and  signifying, 
in  the  present  instance,  the  "  ship-boys"  or  "  servants." 

Leave  the  door  ajar) — Ver.  351.  Ladies  of  Erotium's  character  would  find  ii 
more  convenient  to  have  their  doors  ajar,  that  persons  might  step  in  unperceived : 
tasides,  in  the  present  instance,  she  wishes  the  "janitor"  not  to  shut  the  door,  as 
»he  expects  to  return  directly  with  Mensechinus. 


330  MEN^CHMI  ;  Act  II. 

Ero.  Troth,  inasmuch  as  Venus  has  willed  that  you  singly 
above  all  I  should  exalt ;  and  that  not  without  your  deserving 
it.  For,  by  my  faith,  you  alone  make  me,  by  your  kindnesses, 
to  be  thriving. 

Men.  Sos.  For  sure  this  woman  is  either  mad  or  drunk, 
Messemo,  that  addresses  me,  a  person  whom  she  knows  not, 
in  so  familiar  a  way. 

Mess.  Didn't  I  say  that  these  things  are  in  the  habit  of 
occurring  here  ?  The  leaves  are  falling  now ;  in  comparison 
with  this,  if  we  shall  be  here  for  three  days,  the  trees  will  be 
tumbling  upon  you.  For  to  such  a  degree  are  all  these 
Courtesans  wheedlers  out  of  one's  money.  But  only  let  me 
address  her.     Harkye,  woman,  I'm  speaking  to  you. 

Ero.  What's  the  matter?  Mess.  Where  have  you  your- 
self known  this  person  ? 

Ero.  In  that  same  place  where  he  has  Jcnovm  me  for  this 
long  time,  in  Epidamnus. 

Mess.  In  Epidamnus  ?  A  man  who,  until  this  day,  lias 
never  put  a  foot  here  inside  of  this  city. 

Ero.  Heyday !  You  are  making  fun,  my  dear  Mensech- 
mus.  But,  prithee,  why  not  go  in  ?  There,  it  will  be  more 
suitable  for  you. 

Men.  Sos.  I'  faith,  this  woman  really  does  address  me 
rightly  by  my  name.  I  wonder  very  much  what's  the  meaning 
of  this  business. 

Mess,  (aside).  That  purse  that  you  are  carrying  has  been 
smelt  out  by  her. 

Men.  Sos.  (aside).  I'  faith,  and  rightly  have  you  put  me 
in  mind.  Take  it,  then ;  I'll  know  now.  whether  she  loves 
myself  or  the  purse  most.     (Gives  him  the  purse.) 

Ero.  Let's  go  in  the  house  to  breakfast. 

Men.  Sos.  You  invite  me  kindly ;  so  far,  my  thanks. 

Ero.  Why  then  did  you  bid  me  a  while  since  prepare  a 
breakfast  for  you  ? 

Men.  Sos.  I,  bid  you  prepare  ? 

Ero.  Certainly  you  did,  for  yourself  and  your  Parasite. 

Men.  Sos.  A  plague,  what  Parasite  ?  Surely  this  woman 
isn't  quite  right  in  her  senses. 

Ero.  Peniculus.  Men.  Sos.  Who  is  this  Peniculus  ? 
The  one  with  which  the  shoes  are  wiped  clean1  ? 

1  Are  wiped  clean) — Ver.  391.  "  Baxae"  or  "  baxeas"  were  sanaals  made  of 
twigs  or  fibres.    The y  were  often  wcrn  on  the  stage  by  Comic  actors,  and  probably 


Sc.  IY.  OK,  THE  TWIN-EROTHERS.  337 

Eeo.  Him,  [  mean,  who  came  with  you  a  while  ago,  when 
you  brought  me  the  mantle  which  you  purloined  from  your 
wife. 

Men".  Sos.  "What  do  you  mean  ?  I,  gave  you  a  mantle, 
which  I  purloined  from  my  wife  ?  Are  you  in  your  senses  r 
Surely  this  woman  dreams  standings  after  the  manner  of  a 
gelding1. 

Ero.  Why  does  it  please  you  to  hold  me  in  ridicule,  and 
to  deny  to  me  things  that  have  been  done  by  you  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Tell  me  what  it  is  that  I  deny  after  having 
done  it  ? 

Ero.  That  you  to-day  gave  me  your  wife's  mantle. 

Men.  Sos.  Even  still  do  I  deny  it.  Indeed,  I  never  had 
a  wife,  nor  have  I  one ;  nor  have  I  ever  set  my  foot  here 
within  the  city  gate  since  I  was  born.  I  breakfasted  on  board 
ship ;  thence  did  I  come  this  way,  and  here  I  met  you. 

Ero.  See  that  now ;  I'm  undone,  wretched  creature  that 
I  am  !    What  ship  are  you  now  telling  me  about  ? 

Men.  Sos.  A  wooden  one,  weather-beaten  full  oft,  cracked 
full  oft,  many  a  time  thumped  with  mallets.  Just  as  the 
implements  of  the  furrier2 ;  so  peg  is  close  to  peg. 

Ero.  Now,  prithee,  do  leave  off  making  fun  of  me,  and 
sten  this  way  with  me. 

Men.  Sos.  •#•#•« 
for,  madam,  you  are  looking  for  some  other  person,  I  know 
not  whom,  not  me. 

Ero.  Don't  I  know  you,  Menaechmus,  the  son  of  your 
father  Moschus,  who  are  said  to  have  been  born  in  Sicily, 
at  Syracuse,  where  King  Agathocles  reigned,  and  after 
him  Pintia3,  the  third  Liparo,  who  at  his  death  left  the 
kingdom  to  Hiero — which  Hiero  is  now  king  ? 

on  saying  this,  Menaschmus  Sosicles  points  to  his  own.  The  Egyptians  made  them 
of  palm-leaves  and  papyrus.  They  were  much  worn  by  the  philosophers  of 
ancient  times.  Probably  the  "  peniculi,"  made  of  the  tails  of  oxen,  were  much 
used  for  the  purpose  of  dusting  shoes. 

1  Manner  of  a  gelding) — Ver.  395.  He  compares  her  to  a  horse,  which  sleeps 
and  dreams  (if  it  dreams  at  all)  in  a  standing  posture. 

2  Of 'the furrier) — Ver.  404.  The  "peKio,"  "furrier"  or  "skinner,"  would 
require  a  great  many  pegs  in  fastening  down  the  skins  for  the  purpose  of  stretch- 
ing them.  Meursius  thinks  that  Plautus  intends  a  sly  hit  here  at  Pellio,  the  bad 
actor,  who  is  mentioned  in  the  Second  Scene  of  the  Second  Act  in  the  Bacchides. 
If  so,  the  joke  is  quite  lost  on  us. 

3  After  him  Pintia) — Ver.  410.  She  is  supposed,  by  the  Commentators,  to  l*i 


338  MEN^CIIMI ;  Act  II. 

Men.  Sos.  You  say,  madam,  what  is  not  untrue. 

Mess.  By  Jupiter,  hasn't  this   woman  come  from  there, 

who  knows  you  so  readily  ?  *  *  *  * 

#  #    '         #  #  #  #  # 

Men".  Sos.  (apart).  Troth,  I  think  she  must  not  be  denied. 
Mess,  (apart).  Don't  you  do  it.     You  are  undone,  if  you 
enter  inside  her  threshold. 

Men.  Sos.   (apart).  But  you  only  hold  your  tongue         * 

*  *  •  *  *  *  The  matter 
goes  on  well.  I  shall  assent  to  the  woman,  whatever  she  shall 
say,  if  I  can  get  some  entertainment.  Just  now,  madam 
(speaking  to  her  in  a  low  voice),  I  contradicted  you  not  un- 
designedly ;  I  was  afraid  of  that  fellow,  lest  he  might  carry 
word  to  my  wife  about  the  mantle  and  the  breakfast.  Now, 
when  you  please,  let's  go  in-doors. 

Ero.  Are  you  going  to  wait  for  the  Parasite  as  well  ? 

Men.  Sos.  I'm  neither  going  to  wait  for  him,  nor  do  I 
care  a  straw  for  him,  nor,  if  he  should  come,  do  I  want  him 
to  be  admitted  in-doors. 

Ero.  By  my  faith,  I  shall  do  that  not  at  all  reluctantly. 
But  do  you  know  what  I  beg  you  to  do  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Only  command  me  what  you  will. 

Ero.  Eor  you  to  take  that  mantle  which  you  gave  me 
just  now  to  the  embroiderer's1,  that  it  may  be  trimmed 
again,  and  that  some  work  may  be  added  which  I  want.     ■ 

purposely  represented  here  as  quite  mistaken  in  her  historical  facts,  and  as  making 
nothing  but  a  confused  jumble  of  them.  Some  think  that  the  words  "  Pintia"  and 
"  Liparo"  are  ablative  cases;  but  it  is  much  more  probable  that  they  are  nomina- 
tives. Gronovius  thinks  that  one  Phintias  is  alluded  to,  who,  as  we  are  told  by 
Diodorus  Siculus,  assumed  the  government  atAgrigentum  after  the  death  of  Aga- 
thocles.  He  did  not,  however,  reign  at  Syracuse.  We  do  not  learn  from  history 
that  Hiero  received  the  government  from  Liparo,  but,  on  the  contrary,  that  his 
virtuous  character  was  the  sole  ground  for  his  election  to  the  sovereignty.  Lipara 
was  the  name  of  one  of  the^olian  islands  (now  called  the  Isles  of  Lipari),  not  far 
from  the  coast  of  Sicily.  Some  think  that  she  means  to  call  Agathocles  by  the 
additional  names  of  Plintias  (and  not  Pintia)  from  ttKivtos,  "  pottery,"  as  he 
had  exercised  the  trade  of  a  potter,  and  of  "  Liparo,"  from  the  Greek  \v7rr)pos, 
"  savage,"  by  reason  of  the  cruelty  of  which  he  was  guilty  in  the  latter  part  of  his 
life.     This  notion  seems,  however,  to  be  more  fanciful  than  well-founded. 

1  To  the  embroiderer's)— Ver.  425.  "  Phrygionem."  As  the  natives  of  Phrygia 
were  very  dexterous  at  embroidering,  and  their  services  were  much  sought  for  the 
purposes  of  luxury,  all  embroiderers  in  time  came  to  be  called  "  phrygiones." 


Sc.  IT.  OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  339 

Men.  Sos.  I'  faith,  you  say  what's  right ;  in  such  a  way 
shall  it  be  disguised  that  my  wife  shan't  know  that  you  are 
wearing  it,  if  she  should  see  you  in  the  street. 

Ero.  Then  take  it  away  with  you  just  now,  when  you  go 
away. 

Men.  Sos.  By  all  means.  Ero.  Let's  go  in-doors.  {Goes 
into  her  house.} 

Men.  Sos.  I'll  follow  you  this  instant;  I  only  wish  to 
speak  to  this  person.  So,  there !  Messenio,  step  to  me  this 
way. 

Mess.  What's  the  matter  ?     Men.  Sos.  Listen. 

Mess.  "What  need  for  it  ?  Men.  Sos.  There  is  need.  I 
know  what  you'll  say  to  me 

Mess.  So  much  the  worse.     Men.  Sos.  Hold  your  tongue 

I've  got  some  spoil ;  thus  much  of  the  business  have  I  begun 
upon.  Go,  and,  as  quick  as  you  can,  take  away  those  people1 
at  once  to  an  inn2.  Then  do  you  take  care  to  come  and 
meet  me3  before  sunset. 

Mess.  Don't  you  know  that  these  people  are  harlots, 
master  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Hold  your  tongue,  I  say,  and  go  you  away  from 
here.  It  will  cost  me  pain,  not  you,  if  I  do  anything  here 
that's  foolish.  This  woman  is  silly  and  inexperienced.  So 
far  as  I've  perceived  just  now,  there's  some  spoil  for  us  here. 
{He  goes  into  the  house  o/'Erotium.) 

Mess.  I'm  undone.  Are  you  going  away  then  ?  He  is 
certainly  ruined ;  the  piratical  craft  is  now  leading  the  boat 
straight  to  destruction.  But  I'm  an  unreasonable  fellow 
to  wish  to  rule  my  master ;  he  bought  me  to  obey  his  orders, 

Cotter  renders  "  ad  phrygionem"  here  "  to  Phrygia,"  and  so  throughout  the 
whole  play ! 

1  Those  people) — Ver.  436.  By  "  istos"  he  probably  means  the  sailors  or  porters 
who  were  carrying  the  luggage. 

2  To  an  inn) — Ver.  436.  The  accommodation  of  the  "  taberna  diversoria,"  or 
"  diversorium,"  was  generally  of  a  humble  kind,  and  these  places  were  mostly 
adapted  for  the  poorer  classes  only. 

3  Come  and  meet  me) — Ver.  437.  That  is,  as  his  "  adversitor,"  which  was  the 
title  given  to  the  servant  whose  duty  it  was  to  fetch  his  master  home  in  the  ovea- 

z2 


340  MEN^CHMI;  Act  ill. 

not  to  be  his  commander.  (To  the  Attendants.)  Follow 
me,  that,  as  I'm  ordered,  I  may  come  in  good  time  to  meet 
my  master. 

Act  III. — Scene  I 
Enter  Penicultis. 
Pen.  More  than  thirty  years  have  I  been  boil  vet  during 
that  time  I  never  did  any  more  mischievous  or  mu-e  evil  trick 
than  tins  day,  when,  to  my  misfortune,  I  thrust  myself  into 
the  midst  of  the  assembly'1  •  while  I  was  gaping  about  there, 
Menaechmus  stole  away  fruin  me,  and  went,  I  suppose,  to 
his  mistress,  and  didn't  want  to  take  me.  May  all  the 
Divinities  confound  that  man  who  first. mischievously  devised 
the  holding  of  an  assembly,  which  keeps  men  thus  engaged. 
By  my  troth,  is  it  not  fitting  that  men  who  are  disengaged 
should  be  chosen  for  that  purpose  ?  These,  when  they  are 
cited,  if  they  are  not  present,  let  the  officers  exact  the  fine2 
forthwith   *         *  *  *  the  senate  * 

#  *  *  *  *  Abundance  of  men 

are  there  who  every  day  eat  their  victuals  alone,  who  have  no 
business,  who  are  neither  invited  nor  invite  to  feast ;  these 
ought  to  give  their  attendance  at  the  assembly  and  the 
law-courts3.  If  so  it  had  been,  this  say  I  shouldn't  have 
lost  my  breakfast ;  to  which  I  deemed  myself  as  much  ac- 
customed, as  to  see  myself  alive.  I'll  go  ;  even  yet  the  hope 
of  the  scraps  comforts  my  mind.  But  wrhy  do  I  see  Menach- 
mus  here  ?  He's  coming  out  of  doors  with  a  chaplet  on  ?  The 
banquet  is  removed ;  i'  faith,  I  come  just  in  time  to  meet  him. 
I'll  watch  the  fellow,  what  he's  about,  then  I'll  go  and  accost 
him.     (He  steps  aside.) 

1  Midst  of  the  assembly) — Ver.  448.  This  "  concio"  was  the  sitting  of  the  court 
for  the  trial  of  causes,  to  which  we  shall  find  further  reference  in  the  sequel, 
when  it  is  explained  how  he  happened  to  lose  sight  of  Menrechmus. 

2  Exact  the  fine) — Ver.  454.  He  suggests  that  Menaechmus  has  possibly  been 
summoned,  in  his  capacity  as  a  citizen,  to  the  "concio,"  for  the  purpose  of  being 
present  at  the  trials  going  on.  The  Parasite  curses  this  custom,  and  wishes  that 
they  would  summon  only  the  idle  men,  and  not  those  engaged  in  the  important 
business  of  feasting  their  friends.  There  isi  some  doubt  as  to  the  meaning  oi 
u  census  capiant,"  but  it  probably  signifies  "  let  them  exact  the  fine." 

1  And  the  law-courts) — Ver.  459.  The  "comitia"  of  the  Romans  havebwn  r* 
Cwred  to  in  a  previous  Note. 


Sc.  II.  OE,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  311 


Scene  II. — Enter  Men^chmtts  Sosicles,  from  the  house  of 
Erotitjm,  with  the  mantle  on. 

Men.  Sos.  (speaJcing  to  Erotitjm  ivithin).  Can't  you  rest 
content,  if  this  day  I  bring  it  you  back  in  good  time,  nicely 
and  properly  trimmed  ?  I'll  cause  you  to  say  it  isn't  itself, 
so  much  shall  it  be  disguised. 

Pen.  (apart).  He's  carrying  the  mantle  to  the  embroi- 
derer's, the  breakfast  finished  and  the  wine  drunk  up,  and 
the  Parasite  shut  out  of  doors.  By  my  troth,  I'm  not  the 
person  that  I  am,  if  I  don't  handsomely  avenge  this  injury 
and  myself.    "lis  requisite  I  should  watch  #  * 

I'll  give  something. 

Men.  Sos.  (to  himself).  0  ye  immortal  Gods!  on  what 
man  ever  have  you  conferred  more  blessings  in  one  day,  who 
hoped  for  less  r  I've  been  breakfasting,  drinking,  feasting 
with  a  mistress ;  and  I've  carried  off  this  mantle,  of  which 
she  shall  no  more  be  owner  after  this  day. 

Pen.  Isn't  he  now  talking  about  me,  and  my  share  of  the 
repast  ?     I  can't  well  hear  what  he  says. 

Men.  Sos.  (to  himself).  She  says  that  I  secretly  gave  her 
this,  and  that  I  stole  it  away  from  my  wife.  "When  I  per- 
ceived that  she  was  mistaken,  at  once  I  began  to  assent,  as 
though  I  really  had  had  acquaintanceship  with  her.  What- 
ever the  woman  said,  the  same  said  I.  What  need  of  many 
words  ?     I  was  never  entertained  at  less  expense. 

Pen.  (apart).  I'll  accost  the  fellow;  for  I  quite  long  to 
have  a  row. 

Men.  Sos.  Who's  this  that's  coming  up  towards  me  ? 
(Takes  off  the  mantle,  and  hides  it.) 

Pen.  What  say  you,  you  fellow  lighter  than  a  feather,  most 
rascally  and  most  abandoned — you  disgraceful  man — you 
cheat,  and  most  worthless  fellow  ?  Why  have  I  deserved 
this  of  you  ?  For  what  reason  should  you  ruin  me  ?  How 
you  stole  yourself  away  from  me  just  now  at  the  Forum. 
You've  been  performing  the  funeral  of  the  breakfast  in  my 
absence.  Why  did  you  dare  to  do  so,  when  I  was  entitled  to 
it  in  an  equal  degree  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Young  man,  prithee,  what  business  with  me 
have  you,  who  are  thus  purposely  insulting  a  person  whom 


342  MENJECUHI  ;  Act  III. 

you  know  not  ?     Do  you  wish  a  punishment  to  bo  given  you 
for  your  abuse  ? 

Pen.  Do  be  quiet ;  by  my  faith,  I  discover  that  you've  done 
that  already  indeed. 

Men.  Sos.  Answer  me,  young  man,  I  beg ;  what  is  your 
name  ? 

Pen.  Are  you  laughing  at  me,  as  well,  as  though  you  didn't 
know  my  name  ? 

Men.' Sos.  By  my  troth,  I  never  saw  or  knew  you,  that 
I'm  aware  of,  before  this  day ;  but  at  all  events,  whoever  you 
are,  if  you  do  what's  right,  you  won't  be  an  annoyance  to  me. 

Pen.  Don't  you  know  me  ?  Men.  Sos.  I  shouldn't  deny 
it  if  I  did  know  you. 

Pen.  Mensechmus,  awake.  Men.  Sos.  I'  troth,  I  really  am 
awake,  so  far  as  I  know. 

Pen.  Don't  you  know  your  own  Parasite  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Young  man,  I  find  that  your  headpiece  isn't 
sound. 

Pen.  Answer  me ;  have  you  not  purloined  that  mantle 
from  your  wife  to-day,  and  given  it  to  Erotium  ? 

Men.  Sos.  I'  faith  I  have  no  wife,  nor  have  I  given  the 
mantle  to  Erotium,  nor  have  I  purloined  it. 

Pen.  Are  you  really  in  your  senses  ?       *  * 

*****        This  matter's  settled1. 
Did  I  not  see  you  coming  out  of  doors  clad  in  a  mantle  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Woe  to  your  head.  Do  you  think  that  all  people 
are  effeminate  rogues2  because  you  are  one  ?  Do  you  declare 
that  I  was  clothed  in  a  mantle  ? 

Pen.  Troth,  I  really  do.  Men.  Sos.  Why  don't  you  go 
where  you  are  deserving  to  go,  or  else  request  yourself  to  be 
atoned  for,  you  downright  madman  ? 

Pen.  By  my  troth,  never  shall  any  one  prevail  upon  me  not 
to  tell  your  wife  the  whole  matter  now,  just  as  it  happened. 
All  these  insults  shall  be  retorted  upon  yourself.  I'll  take 
care  that  you  shan't  have  devoured  the  breakfast  unpunished. 
{Re  goes  into  the  house  of  Mensechmus  of  Upidamnus.) 

Men.  Sos.  What's  the  meaning  of  this  business  ?     Why, 

»  This  matter's  settled)— Ver.  512.  "  Occisa  est  hsec  res."  Literally,  "  this 
matter  is  killed ;"  somewhat  similar  to  our  expression,  "  the  murder  is  out." 

2  Effeminate  rogues)— Ver.  514.  "  Cinsedos."  Literally,  "  dancers" or  "danc- 
ing-masters," who,  being  effeminate  persons,  would  be  more  likely  to  wear  a 
'•palla"  of  gay  colours. 


SC.   III.  OK,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  343 

just   as  I  see  each  person,    do   they  all  make  fun  of  me 
in  this  way  ?     But  the  door  makes  a  noise. 

Scene  III. — Enter  a  Maid-Servant,  from  the  house  of 
Erotium. 

Maid.  Mensechmus,  Erotium  says  that  she  entreats  you 
much,  that  at  the  same  opportunity  you'll  take  this  to  the 
goldsmith's,  and  add  to  it  an  ounce  in  weight  of  gold,  and  order 
the  bracelet1  to  be  fashioned  anew.     {Gives  him  a  bracelet.} 

Men.  Sos.  Tell  her  that  I'll  attend  both  to  this  and  any- 
thing else  that  she  shall  wish,  if  she  wishes  anything  else 
attended  to. 

Maid.  Do  you  know  what  this  bracelet  is  ? 

Men.  Sos.  I  don't  know,  unless  it's  of  gold. 

Maid.  This  is  the  same  one  that  you  once  said  that  you 
had  secretly  stolen  out  of  the  closet  from  your  wife. 

Men.  Sos.  By  my  troth,  'twas  never  done. 

Maid.  Prithee,  don't  you  remember  it  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Not  in  the  least.  Maid.  Give  it  me  back 
then,  if  you  don't  remember  it.     {Tries  to  take  it.) 

Men.  Sos.  Stop.  (Pretends  to  examine  the  bracelet?)  O 
yes,  I  really  do  remember  it ;  it's  the  same,  I  believe,  that  I 
presented  to  her. 

Maid.  I'  faith,  it  is  the  same.  Men.  Sos.  Where  are  the 
clasps  which  I  gave  her  together  with  them  ? 

Maid.  Tou  never  gave  her  any.  Men.  Sos.  Why,  faith,  I 
gave  them  together  with  this  *         *         *         *         * 

Maid.  Shall  I  say  that  you'll  attend  to  it  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Do  say  so  ;  it  shall  be  attended  to.  I'll  take  care 
that  the  mantle  and  the  bracelet  are  brought  back  together. 

Maid.  My  dear  Mensechmus,  do,  pray,  give  me  some  ear- 
rings2, the  pendants  to  be  made  two  didrachms  in  weight ; 

1  Order  the  bracelet) — Ver.  527.  "  Spinter"  or  "  spinther"  is  another  name, 
derived  from  the  Greek  a-(f)iyKTT]p,  for  the  Latin  "  armilla"  or  bracelet.  It  received 
its  Greek  name,  from  its  keeping  in  its  place  by  compressing  the  arm  of  the  wearer. 
Festus  tells  us  that  the  bracelet  called  "spinter"  was  worn  by  the  Eoman  ladies 
on  the  left  arm,  while  the  "  armilla"  was  worn  on  either. 

2  Give  me  some  earrings) — Ver.  541.  The  drops  of  the  earrings  were  probably 
to  be  of  the  weight  of  two  didrachms.  The  earring  was  called  among  the 
F.omans  "  inauris,"  and  by  the  Greeks  ivariov.  The  Greeks  also  called  k 
tWoSiov,  from  its  being  inserted  in  the  lobe  of  the  ear.     These  ornaments  were 


314  MEKECHMI;  Act  IV. 

that  I  may  look  on  you  with  delight  when  you  come  to  our 
house; 

Men.  Sos.  Be  it  so.  Give  me  the  gold1 ;  I'll  find  the 
price  of  the  workmanship. 

Maid.  Give  it  yourself,  please;  at  a  future  time  I'll  give 
it  you  back. 

Men.  Sos.  No,  give  it  yourself;  at  a  future  time  I'll  give 
it  you  twofold. 

Maid.  I  haven't  any.  Men.  Sos.  But  when  you  have  it, 
do  you  give  it  me,  then. 

Maid.  Do  you  wish  for  aught  ?  Men.  Sos.  Say  that  I'll 
attend  to  these  things,  (aside)  to  be  sold  as  soon  as  they  can, 
and  for  what  they'll  fetch.  (The  Maid-Servant  goes  into 
the  house.)  Has  she  now  gone  off  in-doors  ?  She's  gone, 
and  has  shut  the  door.  Surely  all  the  Gods  are  favouring, 
amplifying,  and  prospering  me.  But  why  do  I  delay  while 
opportunity  and  time  are  granted  me  to  get  away  from  these 
procurers'  dens  ?  Make  haste,  Mensechmus ;  pull  foot  and 
quicken  your  pace.  I'll  take  off  this  chaplet2,  and  throw  it 
away  on  the  left  hand  side  (throws  the  chaplet  down),  that, 
if  they  follow  me,  they  may  think  I've  gone  in  that  direction. 
I'll  go  and  meet  my  servant,  if  I  can,  that  he  may  learn  from 
me  these  blessings  which  the  Gods  confer  upon  me. 

Act  IV. — Scene  I. 
Enter,  from  her  house,  the  Wife  of  Men&chmtjs  of  EpU 
damnus,  followed  by  Penicultjs. 
"Wife.  And  shall  I  allow  myself  to  remain  in  wedlock3 

worn  by  both  sexes  among  the  Lydians,  Persians,  Libyans,  Carthaginians,  and 
other  nations.  Among  the  Greeks  and  Romans,  the  females  alone  were  in  the 
habit  of  wearing  them.  As  with  us,  the  earring  consisted  of  a  ring,  and  a  drop, 
called  "  stalagmium,"  the  ring  being  generally  of  gold,  though  bronze  was  some- 
times used  by  the  common  people.  Pearls,  especially  those  of  elongated  form, 
called  "  elenchi,"  were  very  much  valued  for  pendants. 

1  Give  me  the  gold) — Ver.  544.  He  asks  for  the  gold  with  the  intention  of  steal- 
ing it;  for,  in  spite  of  their  wealth,  it  is  evident,  from  this,  and  what  appears  in  the 
sequel,  that  both  he  and  his  brother  are  by  nature  arrant  thieves. 

2  Take  off  this  chaplet)— Ver.  555.  This  he  had  been  wearing  at  the  "  pran- 
dium,"  or  "breakfast,"  at  Erotium's  house.  The  latter  appears  to  be  a  more 
fitting  name  for  a  meal  that  was  taken  generally  about  twelve  o'clock;  while 
"  the  coena,"  which  commenced  in  general  at  about  three,  carnot  with  propriety  be 
termed  anything  else  than  a  "  dinner." 

8  To  remain  m  wedlock) — Ver.  559.  As  already  observed  in  the  Notes  to  tn« 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  34o 

here,  when  my  husband  secretly  pilfers  whatever's  in  the 
house,  and  carries  it  thence  off  to  his  mistress? 

Pen.  Why  don't  you  hold  your  peace?  I'll  let  you  now 
catch  him  in  the  fact;  do  you  only  follow  me  this  way. 
{They  go  to  the  opposite  side  of  the  stage.)  In  a  state  of 
drunkenness,  with  a  chaplet  on,  he  was  carrying  the  mantle 
to  the  embroiderer's,  which  he  purloined  from  you  at  home 
to-day.  But  see,  here  is  the  chaplet  which  he  had  on.  {Seeing 
the  chaplet  on  the  ground.)  Now  am  I  saying  false  ?  Aha, 
this  way  has  he  gone,  if  you  wish  to  trace  his  footsteps. 
And,  by  my  faith,  see,  here  he  comes  on  his  way  back  most 
opportunely,  but  he  isn't  wearing  the  mantle. 

Wife.  What  now  shall  I  do  to  him  ? 

Pen.  The  same  as  usual ;  abuse  him. 

Wife.  So  I  am  resolved.     Pen.  Let's  step  aside  this  way 
watch  him  from  ambush.    (They  retire  on  one  side?) 

Scene  II. — Enter  Men^chmtjs  of  Epidamnus. 

Men.  (to  himself).  Howwe  do  practise  a  custom  here  that  is 
very  foolish  and  extremely  troublesome,  and  how  even  thosewho 
are  the  most  worthy  and  great1  do  follow  this  habit :  all  wish 
their  dependants  to  be  many  in  number ;  whether  they  are  de- 
serving or  undeserving,  about  that  they  don't  enquire.  Their 
property  is  more  enquired  about,  than  what  the  reputation  of 
their  clients  is  for  honor.  If  any  person  is  poor  and  not 
dishonest,  he  is  considered  worthless ;  but  if  a  rich  man  is 
dishonest,  he  is  considered  a  good  client.  Those  who  neither 
regard  laws  nor  any  good  or  justice  at  all,  the  same  have 
zealous  patrons.  What  has  been  entrusted  to  them,  they  deny 
to  have  been  so  entrusted ;  men  full  of  litigation,  rapacious, 
and  fraudulent ;  who  have  acquired  their  property  either  by 
usury  or  by  perjury ;  their  whole  pleasure  is  in  litigation. 
When  the  day  for  trial  is  appointed,  at  the  same  time  it  is 
mentioned  to  their  patrons,  in  order  that  they  may  plead  for 

Stichus  and  the  Miles  Gloriosus,  the  facilities  for  divorce,  by  reason  of  incompati- 
bility and  other  circumstances,  were  very  great  among  the  Romans. 

1  Most  worthy  and  great) — Ver.  572.  "  Optumi  maximi."     This  was  properly 
an  epithet  of  Jupiter,  and  is,  perhaps,  satirically  applied  to  the  "  little  Gods,"  the 
great  men   of  Rome.     In  the  previous  line  he  uses  "  morus,"  the  Greek  word 
ucopor,  sigmiymg  -foolish,"  on  account  of  its  resemblance  to  the  word  "mere, 
*  manner"  or  "  custom." 


346  MEN.ECHHI  ;  Act  IV. 

them,  about  what  they  have  done  amiss.  Before  the  people1, 
or  at  law  before  the  JPrastor,  or  before  the  JEdile,  is  the  cause 
tried.  Just  so,  this  day,  a  certain  dependant  has  kept  me 
very  much  engaged,  nor  was  it  allowed  me  to  do  what  I  wished, 
or  in  company  with  whom  I  wished ;  so  fast  did  he  stick  to  me, 
so  much  did  he  detain  me.  Before  the  JEdile,  in  behalf  of 
his  doings,  very  many  and  very  disgraceful,  did  I  plead  his 
cause ;  a  compromise  I  obtained,  obscure  and  perplexed — 
more  than  enough  I  said,  and  than  I  needed  to  say,  that 
surety  for  him2  might  end  this  litigation.  What  did  he  do  ? 
Well,  what  ?  He  gave  bail.  And  never  did  I  at  any  time 
see  any  person  more  clearly  detected ;  three  very  adverse  wit* 
nesses  against  all  his  misdeeds  were  there.  May  all  the  Gods 
confound  him,  he  has  so  spoilt  this  day  for  me  ;  and  myself 
as  well,  who  ever  this  day  beheld  the  Forum  with  my  eyes. 
I  ordered  a  breakfast  to  be  prepared  ;  my  mistress  is  expecting 
me,  I'm  sure ;  as  soon  as  ever  I  had  the  opportunity,  I  made 
haste  immediately  to  leave  the  Forum.  Now,  I  suppose, 
she's  angry  with  me ;  the  mantle,  however,  will  appease  her 
that  I  gave  her,  the  one  I  took  away  to-day  from  my  wife 
and  carried  to  Erotium  here. 

Pen.  (apart  to  the  Wife)  .  What  say  you  now  ? 

Wife  (apart).  That  I'm  unfortunately  married  to  a  worth- 
less fellow. 

Pen.  (apart).  Do  you  perfectly  hear  what  he  says  ? 

Wife  (apart).  Quite  well.  Men.  If  I  am  wise,  I  shall 
be  going  hence  in-doors,  where  it  may  be  comfortable  for  me. 

Pen.  (coming  forward).  Stop;  on  the  contrary,  it  shall  be 
uncomfortable. 

Men.  *  *  *  *  *  she 

is  very  sorrowful;  this  doesn't  quite  please  me,  but  I'll 
speak  to  her.     Tell  me,  my  wife,  what  is  it  amiss  with  you  ? 

1  Before  the  people) — Ver.  587.  It  is  thought  that  he  here  refers  to  the  three 
modes  of  trial  in  civil  cases  among  the  Romans — "  apud  populum,"  before  the 
people  in  the  Comitia  centuriata,  or  full  assembly ;  "  injure,"  before  the  "  Praetor," 
or  his  delegates,  the  "Recupera  tores"  or  "  Judices  selecti,"  "commissioned  judges;" 
and  before  the  iEdile,  or  city  officer.  He  says,  that  on  being  summoned  to  th« 
"  concio,"  a  "  cliens"  or  dependant  suddenly  accosted  him,  and  insisted  on  his 
defending  him,  which  greatly  detained  him,  but  that  in  spite  of  the  wcrthlessness 
of  his  client's  cause,  he  was  at  last  successful  in  effecting  a  compromise. 

2  That  surety  for  him) — Ver.  592.  He  probably  means  that  he  gained  time  for 
his  client  to  pay  the  debt,  on  condition  of  his  giving  bail  or  security  that  he  wouk 
do  so  within  a  certain  time. 


Sc.  Hi  OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  347 

Pen.  (to  the  Wife).  The  pretty  fellow's  soothing  you. 

Men.  Can't  you  cease  being  annoying  to  me  ?  Did  I  ad- 
dress you  ? 

"Wiee.  (turning  away  from  Men^chmus).  Take  yourself 
off — away  with  your  caresses  from  me.    Do  you  persist  in  it  ? 

Men.  Why  are  you  offended  with  me  ? 

Wife.  You  ought  to  know.  Pen.  The  rascal  knows,  but 
he  pretends  not  to  know. 

Men.  Has  any  one  of  the  servants  done  amiss  ?  Do  either 
the  maid  or  the  men-servants  give  you  saucy  answers  ?  Speak 
out ;  it  shan't  be  done  with  impunity. 

Wife.  Tou  are  trifling.  Men.  Surely  you  are  angry  at 
some  one  of  the  domestics  ? 

Wife.  Tou  are  trifling.  Men.  Are  you  angry  with  me 
at  all  events  ? 

Wife.  Now  you  are  not  trifling.  Men.  I' faith,  I  haven't 
done  wrong  in  anything. 

Wife.  Ah  !   now  you  are  trifling  again. 

Men.  Wife,  what's  the  matter?  Wife.  Do  you  ask  me 
that  ? 

Men.  Do  you  wish  me  to  ask  him  ?  (To  Peniculus.) 
What's  the  matter  ? 

Wife.  The  mantle.     Men.  The  mantle  ? 

Wife.  A  certain  person  has  taken  a  mantle.  (Men^ch- 
mtjs  starts.) 

Pen.  (to  Memchmtjs).  Why  are  you  alarmed  ? 

Men.  For  my  part,  I'm  not  alarmed  at  all — (aside)  except 
about  one  thing ;  the  mantle  makes1  my  face  mantle. 

Pen.  (aside  to  Men^chmus).  But  as  for  me,  you  shouldn't 
have  slily  devoured  the  breakfast.  (To  the  Wife.)  Go  on 
against  your  husband. 

Men.  (making  signs  to  Peniculus).  Won't  you  hold  your 
tongue  ? 

Pen.  Faith,  I  really  will  not  hold  my  tongue.  (To  the 
Wife.)  He's  nodding  to  me  not  to  speak. 

Men.  On  my  word,  I  really  never  did  nod  to  you,  or  wink 
in  any  way. 

1  The  mantle  makes) — Ver.  616.  "  Palla  pallorem  incutit."  In  his  alarm  he 
cannot  avoid  a  pun  on  the  resemblance  between  M  palla,"  the  "  mantle,"  and 
"  pallor,"  paleness.  The  meaning  is,  literally,  "  the  mantle  strikes  paleness  into 
me ;"  but  an  attempt  is  made  in  the  Translation  to  imitate  the  play  upon  the  words 


3-18  men^chmi  ;  Act  IV. 

Pen.  Nothing  is  more  audacious  than  this  man,  who  reso- 
lutely denies  those  things  which  you  see. 

Men.  By  Jupiter  and  all  the  Gods,  I  swear,  wife,  that  I 
did  not  nod  to  him  ;   isn't  that  enough  for  you  ? 

Pen.  She  now  believes  you  about  that  matter :  go  back 
again  there. 

Men.  Go  back  where  ?     Pen.  Why,  to  the  embroiderer, 
as  I  suppose.     Go  and  bring  the  mantle  back. 
_  Men.  What  mantle  is  it  ?     Pen.  Now  I  hold  my  tongue, 
since  he  doesn't  remember  his  own  business. 

Wife.  Did  you  suppose  that  you  could  possibly  commit 
these  villanies  unknown  to  me  ?  By  heavens,  you  have  as- 
suredly taken  that  away  from  me  at  a  heavy  usury ;  such  is 
the  return1.     (Shaking  her  fist .) 

Pen.  Such  is  the  return.  Do  you  make  haste  to  eat  up 
the  breakfast  in  my  absence ;  and  then  in  your  drunken- 
ness make  fun  of  me,  with  your  chaplet  on,  before  the  house. 

Men.  By  all  the  powers,  I  have  neither  breakfasted,  nor 
have  I  this  day  set  foot  inside  of  that  house. 

Pen.  Do  you  deny  it  ?  Men.  By  my  troth,  I  really  do 
deny  it. 

Pen.  Nothing  is  there  more  audacious  than  this  fellow. 
Did  I  not  just  now  see  you  standing  here  before  the  house, 
with  a  chaplet  of  flowers  on,  when  you  were  declaring  that 
my  headpiece  wasn't  sound,  and  declaring  that  you  didn't 
know  me,  and  saying  that  you  were  a  foreigner  ? 

Men.  On  the  contrary,  as  some  time  since  I  parted  with 
you,  so  I'm  now  returning  home  at  last. 

Pen.  I  understand  you.  You  didn't  think  it  was  in  my 
power  to  take  vengeance  upon  you ;  i'  faith,  I've  told  it  all 
to  your  wife. 

Men.  Told  her  what  ?  Pen.  I  don't  know ;  ask  her  own 
self. 

Men.  (turning  to  Aw  Wife) .  What's  this,  wife  ?  Pray, what 

1  Stick  is  the  return) — Ver.  626.  "  Sic  datur."  Literally,  "thus  it  is  given," 
or  "  on  these  terms  it  is  lent."  Some  Commentators  will  have  it,  that  these 
words  are  accompanied  with  a  slap  on  the  face,  in  which  case  they  will  be  equiva- 
lent to  "  there,  take  that."  They  may,  however,  simply  mean,  "such  are  the  terms" 
on  which  you  had  my  mantle,  "such  are  the  results  of  your  lending;"  her 
abuse  and  indignation,  accompanied,  perhaps,  with  a  threat,  being  the  "  foenus, 
or  "  interest"  for  the  loan. 


Sc.  II.  OE,  THE  TWTN-BEOTHEES  349 

has  he  been  telling  you  ?  "What  is  it  ?  Why  are  you  silent  ? 
"Why  don't  you  say  what  it  is  ? 

"Wife.  As  though  you  didn't  know.  I'  faith,  I  certainly 
am  a  miserable  woman. 

MEN.   Why  are  you  a  miserable  woman  ?  tell  me. 

Wife.  Do  you  ask  me  ?  Men.  Faith,  I  shouldn't  ask  you 
if  I  knew. 

Pen.  0  the  wicked  fellow ;  how  he  does  dissemble.  You 
cannot  conceal  it ;  she  knows  the  matter  thoroughly  ;  by  my 
faith,  I've  disclosed  everything. 

Men.  What  is  it?  "Wife.  Inasmuch  as  you  are  not  at. 
all  ashamed,  and  don't  wish  to  confess  of  your  own  accord, 
listen,  and  attend  to  this ;  I'll  both  let  you  know  why  I'm 
/sorrowful,  and  what  he  has  told  me.  My  mantle  has  been 
purloined  from  me  at  home. 

Men.  Mantle  purloined  from  me  ?  Pen.  (to  the  Wife). 
D'you  see  how  the  rogue  is  catching  you  up  ?  (To  Me- 
mchmus.)  It  was  purloined  from  her,  not  from  you ;  for 
certainly  if  it  had  been  purloined  from  you,  it  would  now 
be  safe. 

Me>-.  {to  Peniculus).  I've  nothing  to  do  with  you.  But 
(to  his  Wife)  what  is  it  you  say  ? 

Wife.  A  mantle,  I  say,  has  been  lost  from  home. 

Men.  "Who  has  stolen  it  ?  "Wife.  I  faith,  he  knows  that, 
who  took  it  away. 

Men.  What  person  was  it?  Wife.  A  certain  Me- 
nsechinus. 

Men.  By  my  troth,  'twas  villanously  done.  Who  is  this 
Mena3ehmus  ? 

Wife.  You  are  he,  I  say.     Men.  I? 

Wife.  You.     Men.  Who  accuses  me? 

Wife.  I,  myself.  Pen.  I,  too ;  and  you  carried  it  off  to 
Erotium  here,  your  mistress. 

Men.  I,  gave  it  her  ?  Pen.  You,  you,  I  say.  Do  you 
wish  for  an  owl1  to  be  brought  here,  to  say  "  you,  you,"  con- 
tinually to  you  ?     For  we  are  now  quite  tired  of  it. 

Men.  By  Jupiter  and  all  the  Gods,  I  swear,  wife  (and 
isn't  that  enough  for  you  ?),  that  I  did  not  give  it. 

Pen.  Aye,  and  I,  by  all  the  powers,  that  we  are  telling  no 
untruth. 

1  Wish  for  an  owl) — Ver.  654.  "Tu,  tu."  He  alludes  to  the  note  of  the  owl 
Which  to  the  Romans  would  seem  to  say  "  tu,  tu  "  "  you,  you." 


350  men^echmi  ;  Act  IV. 

Men.  But  I  haven't  given  it  away,  but  just  only  lent  it 
to  be  made  use  of. 

Wife.  But,  i'  faith,  for  my  part,  I  don't  lend  either  your 
scarf  or  your  cloak  out  of  the  house,  to  any  one,  to  be  made 
use  of.  'Tis  fair  that  the  woman  should  lend  out  of  the 
house  the  woman's  apparel,  the  man  the  man's.  But  why 
don't  you  bring  the  mantle  home  again  ? 

Men.  I'll  have  it  brought  back.  "Wife.  For  your  own 
interest  you'll  do  so,  as  I  think ;  for  you  shall  never  enter  the 
house  to-day  unless  you  bring  the  mantle  with  you.  I'm 
going  home. 

Pen.  (to  the  Wife).  What's  there  to  be  for  me,  who  have 
given  you  this  assistance  ? 

Wife.  Tour  assistance  shall  be  repaid,  when  anything 
shall  be  purloined  from  your  house.  (The  Wife  goes  into 
the  house.) 

Pen.  Then,  by  my  troth,  that  really  will  never  be ;  for 
nothing  have  I  at  home  to  lose.  May  the  Gods  confound 
you,  both  husband  and  wife.  I'll  make  haste  to  the  Forum, 
for  I  see  clearly  that  I've  quite  fallen  out  with  this  family. 

(Exit. 

Men.  My  wife  thinks  that  she  does  me  an  injury  when  she 
shuts  me  out  of  doors ;  as  though  I  hadn't  another  better 
place  to  be  admitted  into.  If  I  displease  you,  I  must  endure 
it;  I  shall  please  Erotium  here,  who  won't  be  shutting, me 
out  of  her  house,  but  will  be  shutting  me  up  in  her  house 
rather.  Now  I'll  go  ;  I'll  beg  her  to  give  me  back  the  mantle 
that  I  gave  her  a  while  since.  I'll  purchase  another  for  her — 
a  better  one.  Hallo  !  is  any  one  the  porter  here  ?  (Knocks 
at  Eeotium's  door.)  Open  here,  and  some  one  of  you  call 
Erotium  before  the  door. 


Scene  III. — Enter  Erotium,  from  her  house. 

Ero.  Who's  enquiring  for  me  here  ? 

Men.  One  that's  more  of  an  enemy  to  his  own  self  than 
to  yourself1. 

Ero.  My  dear  Mensechmus  ?  Why  are  you  standing 
before  the  house  ?     Do  follow  me  in-doors. 

1  Than  to  yourself) — Ver.  675.  "  ^Etati  tuse."  Literally,  "  to  your  age,"  a  ctr 
cumlocution  for  "  yourself." 


Sc.  III.  OE,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  351 

Men.  Stop.  Do  you  know  why  it  is  that  I'm  come  to 
you? 

Ero.  I  know  well;  that  you  may  amuse  yourself  with 
me. 

Men.  "Why  no,  troth,  that  mantle  which  I  gave  you  a 
while  since,  give  it  me  back,  I  entreat  you ;  my  wile  has  be- 
come acquainted  with  all  the  transaction,  in  its  order,  just 
as  it  happened.  I'll  procure  for  you  a  mantle  of  twofold 
greater  value  than  you  shall  wish. 

Ero.  Why,  I  gave  it  your  own  self  a  little  while  since, 
that  you  might  take  it  to  the  embroiderer's,  and  that  bracelet, 
too,  that  you  might  take  it  to  the  goldsmith's  that  it  might 
be  made  anew. 

Men.  You,  gave  me  the  mantle  and  the  bracelet  ?  You'll 
find  'twas  never  done.  For,  indeed,  after  I  gave  it  you 
awhile  ago,  and  went  away  to  the  Forum,  I'm  but  just  re- 
turning, and  now  see  you  for  the  first  time  since. 

Ero.  I  see  what  plan  you  are  upon ;  that  you  may  de- 
fraud me  of  what  I  entrusted  to  you,  at  that  thing  you  are 
aiming 

Men.  On  my  word,  I  do  not  ask  it  for  the  sake  of  defraud- 
ing you.  But  I  tell  you  that  my  wife  has  discovered  the 
matter. 

Ero.  Nor  did  I  of  my  own  accord  beg  you  to  give  it 
me ;  of  your  own  accord  you  yourself  brought  it  me.  You 
gave  it  me  as  a  present ;  now  you're  asking  for  the  same 
thing  back  again.  I'll  put  up  with  it;  keep  it  to  yourself; 
take  it  away  ;  make  use  of  it,  either  yourself  or  your  wife,  or 
squeeze  it  into  your  money-box1  even.  After  this  day,  that 
you  mayn't  be  deceived,  you  shan't  set  your  foot  in  this 
house,  since  you  hold  me  in  contempt,  who  deserve  so  well 
of  you.  Unless  you  bring  money,  you'll  be  disappointed ; 
you  can't  cajole  me.  Find  some  other  woman,  henceforth, 
for  you  to  be  disappointing. 

Men.  By  my  troth,  very  angry  at  last.  Hallo!  you; 
stay,  I  bid  you.  Come  you  back.  "Will  you  stay  now  ? 
Will  you  even  for  my  sake  come  back  ?  (Erotittm  goes  into 
her  house,  and  shuts  the  door.)  She  has  gone  in-doors,  and 
shut  the  house.     Now  I'm  regularly  barred   out ;   I   have 

1  Into  your  money-box) — Ver.  691.  "  As  you  make  so  much  fuss  about  it, 
tno.  it  is  so  valuable,  squeeze  it  up  into  your  money-box." 


352  MENJECHMI  ;  Act  V. 

neither  any  credit  at  home  now,  nor  with  my  mistress.  I'll 
go  and  consult  my  friends  on  this  matter,  as  to  what  they 
think  should  be  done.  {Exit. 

Act  Y. — Scene  I. 
Enter  Menjschmus  Sosicles,  with  the  mantle  on. 
Men.  Sos.  I  did  very  foolishly  a  while  since,  in  entrusting 
my  purse  to  Messenio  with  the  money.     I  suspect  he  has  got 
himself  into  some  bad  house1  or  other. 

Enter  £Ae  Wife  o/'Men^chmtts  of  Epidamnus,from  the  house. 

"Wiee.  I'll  look  out  to  see  how  soon  my  husband  is  going 
to  return  home.  But  here  he  is ;  I  see  him ;  I'm  all  right, 
he's  bringing  back  the  mantle. 

Men.  Sos.  (to  himself).  I  wonder  where  Messenio  can  be 
walking  now. 

Wife.  I'll  go  and  receive  the  fellow  with  such  language  as 
he  deserves.  (Accosting  him.)  Are  you  not  ashamed  to  come 
forward  in  my  presence,  you  disgraceful  man,  in  that  garb  ? 

Men.  Sos.  What's  the  matter  ?  What  thing  is  troubling 
you,  woman  ? 

Wiee.  Do  you  dare,  you  shameless  fellow,  to  utter  even 
a  single  word,  or  to  speak  to  me  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Pray,  what  wrong  have  I  committed,  that  I 
shouldn't  dare  to  speak  to  you  ? 

Wife.  Do  you  ask  me  ?  0  dear,  the  impudent  audacity 
of  the  fellow ! 

Men.  Sos.  Don't  you  know,  madam,  for  what  reason  the 
Greeks  used  to  say  that  Hecuba  was  a  bitch2  r 

1  Into  some  bad  house) — Ver.  704.  The  "ganese"  or  "ganea"  were,  probably, 
very  similar  to  the  "  popina3,"  the  loose  character  of  which,  and  the  "  therrno- 
polia,"  has  been  alluded  to  in  a  preceding  Note. 

2  Hecuba  was  a  bitch) — Ver.  714.  Hecuba  was  the  daughter  of  Cisseus  or  of 
Dymas,  and  the  wife  of  Priam,  King  of  Troy.  In  the  distribution  of  the  spoil, 
a^'ter  the  siege  of  Troy,  she  fell  to  the  share  of  Ulysses,  and  became  his  slave,  but 
died  soon  after  in  Thrace.  Servius  alleges,  with  Plautus,  that  the  Greeks  circu- 
lated the  story  of  her  transformation  into  a  bitch,  because  she  was  perpetually 
railing  at  them  to  provoke  them  to  put  her  to  death,  rather  than  condemn  her  to 
the  life  of  a  slave.  According  to  Strabo  and  Pomponius  Mela,  in  their  time  the 
place  of  her  burial  was  still  to  be  seen  in  Thrace.  It  was  called  kvvos  tt^/xci, 
"  the  Tomb  of  the  bitch."  Euripides,  in  his  "  Hecuba,"  has  not  followed  this  tra- 
dition, but  represents  her  as  complaining  that  the  Greeks  had  chained  her  to  th« 
door  of  Agamemnon  like  a  dog. 


$C.  I.  OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  353 

Wife.  I  don't  know,  indeed.  Men.  Sos.  Because  Hecuba 
used  to  do  the  same  thing  that  you  are  now  doing.  She 
used  to  heap  all  kinds  of  imprecations  on  every  one  she  saw ; 
and,  therefore,  for  that  reason  she  was  properly  begun  to  be 
called  a  bitch. 

Wife.  I  can't  put  up  with  this  disgraceful  conduct  of 
yours ;  for  I  had  rather  see  my  life  that  of  a  widow,  than 
endure  this  vile  conduct  of  yours  that  you  are  guilty  of. 

Men.  Sos.  "What  is  it  to  me,  whether  you  are  able  to 
endure  to  live  in  the  married  state,  or  whether  you  will 
separate  from  your  husband  ?  Is  it  thus  the  fashion  here  to 
tell  these  stories  to  a  stranger  on  his  arrival  ? 

Wife.  What  stories  ?  I  say,  I'll  not  endure  it  hence- 
forth, but  live  separate  rather  than  put  up  with  these  ways. 

Men.  Sos.  Troth,  so  far  indeed  as  I'm  concerned,  do  live 
separate,  even  so  long  as  Jupiter  shall  hold  his  sway. 

Wife.  By  heavens,  I'll  certainly  now  send  for  my  father, 
and  I'll  tell  him  your  disgraceful  conduct  that  you  are 
guilty  of.  Go,  Decio  (calling  to  a  Servant),  seek  for  my 
father,  that  he  may  come  along  with  you  to  me  ;  tell  him  that 
occasion  has  arisen  for  it.  I'll  now  disclose  to  him  this  dis- 
graceful conduct  of  yours. 

Men.  Sos.  Are  you  in  your  senses?  What  disgraceful 
conduct  of  mine  ? 

Wife.  When  you  filch  from  home  my  mantle  and  gold 
trinkets,  without  the  knowledge  of  your  wife,  and  carry 
them  off  to  your  mistress.     Don't  I  state  this  correctly  ? 

Men.  Sos.  O  dear  !  madam,  by  my  faith,  you  are  both  very 
bold  and  very  perverse.  Do  you  dare  to  say  (pointing  at  the 
mantle)  that  this  was  stolen  from  you  which  another  woman 
gave  me,  for  me  to  get  it  trimmed  ? 

Wife.  A  little  while  since  you  didn't  deny  that  you  had 
purloined  it  from  me ;  do  you  now  hold  up  that  same  before 
my  eyes  ?  Are  you  not  ashamed  ? 

Men.  Sos.  By  my  faith,  madam,  I  entreat  you,  if  you 
Know,  show  me  what  I'm  to  drink1,  by  means  of  which  I 
may  put  up  with  your  impertinence.    What  person  you  are 

»  What  Tm  to  drink) — Ver.  742.  Some  Commentators  think  that  he  is  asking 
for  a  medical  potion,  to  help  him  to  swallow  down  the  "  petulantia,"  or  msultini^ 
conduct.     This  supposition  does  not  seem  necessary,  for  even  i  draught  of  water 
would  have  the  same  effect  in  such  a  case. 
2a 


354  MEN^CHMl ;  Act  IV. 

taking  me  to  be,  I  don't  know;  I  know  you  just  as  well 
as  Parthaon1. 

Wife.  If  you  laugh  at  me,  still,  i'  troth,  you  can't  do 
so  at  him ;  my  father,  I  mean,  who's  coming  here.  "Why 
don't  you  look  back  ?     Do  you  know  that  person  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Just  as  well  as  Calchas2  do  I  know  him ;  I 
have  seen  him  on  that  same  day  on  which  I  have  seen  your- 
self before  this  present  day. 

Wife.  Do  you  deny  that  you  know  me  ?  Do  you  deny 
that  you  know  my  father  ? 

Men-.  Sos.  Troth,  I  shall  say  the  same  thing,  if  you  choose 
to  bring  your  grandfather. 

Wife.  I'  faith,  you  do  this  and  other  things  just  in  a  like 
fashion. 

Scene  II. — Enter  an  Old  Man,  hobbling  with  a  stick. 

Old  Man.  According  as  my  age  permits,  and  as  there  is 
occasion  to  do  so,  I'll  push  on  my  steps  and  make  haste  to 
get  along.  But  how  far  from  easy  'tis  for  me,  I'm  not  mis- 
taken as  to  that.  For  my  agility  forsakes  me,  and  I  am  beset 
with  age ;  I  carry  my  body  weighed  down ;  my  strength  has 
deserted  me.  How  grievous  a  pack  upon  one's  back  is  age. 
For  when  it  comes,  it  brings  very  many  and  very  grievous 
particulars,  were  I  now  to  recount  all  of  which,  my  speech 
would  be  too  long.  But  this  matter  is  a  trouble  to  my' 
mind  and  heart,  what  this  business  can  possibly  be  on 
account  of  which  my  daughter  suddenly  requires  me  to  come 
to  her,  and  doesn't  first  let  me  know  what's  the  matter, 
what  she  wants,  or  why  she  sends  for  me.  But  pretty 
nearly  do  I  know  now  what's  the  matter ;  I  suspect  that 
some  quarrel  has  arisen  with  her  husband.  So  are  these 
women  wont  to  do,  who,  presuming  on  their  portions,  and 
haughty,  require  their  husbands  to  be  obedient  to  them ;  and 
they  as  well  full  oft  are  not  without  fault.  But  still  there  are 
bounds,  within  which  a  wife  ought  to  be  put  up  with.  By  my 
troth,  my  daughter  never  sends  for  her  father  to  come  to  her 

1  As  well  as  Parthaon) — Ver.  745.  Parthaon  was  the  father  of  (Eneus,  King  of 
iEtolia,  the  fath  ?r  of  Deianira,  the  wife  of  Hercules.  The  name  is  used  to  sig- 
nify a  person  who  lived  so  long  ago  that  it  was  impossible  to  know  him. 

2  As  well  as  Calchas) — Ver.  748.  Calchas,  the  son  of  Thestor,  was  a  famous 
soothsayer,  who  accompanied  the  Grecian  army  in  the  expedition  against  Troj . 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  355 

except  when  either  something  has  been  done  wrong,  or  there 
is  a  cause  for  quarrelling.  But  whatever  it  is,  I  shall  now 
know.  And  see,  I  perceive  her  herself  before  the  house,  and 
her  husband  in  a  pensive  mood.  'Tis  the  same  as  I 
suspected.     I'll  accost  her. 

Wife.  I'll  go  and  meet  him.  May  every  happiness  attend 
you,  my  father. 

Old  Man.  Happiness  attend  you.  Do  I  find  you  in  good 
spirits  ?  Do  you  bid  me  be  fetched  in  happy  mood  ?  Why 
are  you  sorrowful  ?  And  why  does  he  {pointing  at  Men^ch- 
mits)  in  anger  stand  apart  from  you  ?  Something,  I  know  not 
what,  are  you  two  wrangling  about1  between  you.  Say,  in  few 
words,  which  of  the  two  is  in  fault :  no  long  speeches,  though. 

Wife.  For  my  part,  I've  done  nothing  wTong ;  as  to  that 
point  do  I  at  once  make  you  easy,  father.  But  I  cannot  live 
or  remain  here  on  any  account ;  you  must  take  me  away 
hence  immediately. 

Old  Man.  Why,  what's  the  matter  ?  Wiee.  I  am  made 
a  laughing-stock  of,  father. 

Old  Man.  By  whom?  Wiee.  By  him  to  whom  you 
gave  me,  my  husband. 

Old  Man.  Look  at  that — a  quarrel  now.  How  often,  I 
wonder,  have  I  told  you  to  be  cautious,  that  neither  should  be 
coming  to  me  with  your  complaints. 

Wiee.  How,  my  father,  can  I  possibly  guard  against  that  ? 

Old  Man.  Do  you  ask  me?       *  *  *  * 

*  *  *  *  unless   you  don't  wish. 

How  often  have  I  told  you  to  be  compliant  to  your  hus- 
band. Don't  be  watching  what  he  does,  where  he  goes,  or 
what  matter  he's  about. 

Wiee.  Why,  but  he's  in  love  with  a  courtesan  here  close 

Old  Man.  He  is  exceedingly  wise :  and  for  this  pains- 
taking of  yours,  I  would  even  have  him  love  her  the  more. 

Wiee.  He  drinks  there,  too.  Old  Man.  And  will  he 
really  drink  the  less  for  you,  whether  it  shall  please  him  to  do 

1  Wrangling  about) — Ver.  778.  "  Velitati  estis ;"  literally,  "  have  been  skir- 
i  mishing."  The  figure  is  derived  from  the  "  velites,"  the  light-armed  soldiers  of  the 
Koman  army,  who  were  not  drawn  up  in  rank  and  file,  but  commonly  skirmished 
m  front  of  the  main  body,  attacking  the  enemy  here  and  there,  and  when  bard 
pressed,  retiring  into  the  vacant  spaces  of  the  legion. 

2  a2 


35G  mentECiimi  ;  Act  IV. 

so  there  or  anywhere  else  ?  Plague  on  it,  what  assurance  is 
this  ?  On  the  same  principle,  you  would  wish  to  hinder  him 
from  engaging  to  dine  out,  or  from  receiving  any  other  per- 
son at  his  own  house.  Do  you  want  husbands  to  be  your 
servants  ?  You  might  as  well  expect,  on  the  same  prin- 
ciple, to  be  giving  him  out  his  task,  and  bidding  him  sit 
among  the  female  servants  and  card  wool. 

Wife.  Why,  surely,  father,  I've  sent  for  you  not  to  be 
my  advocate,  but  my  husband's  :  on  this  side  you  stand1,  on 
the  other  you  plead  the  cause. 

Old  Man.  If  he  has  done  wrong  in  anything,  so  much 
the  more  shall  I  censure  him  than  I've  censured  you. 
Since  he  keeps  you  provided  for  and  well  clothed,  and  finds 
you  amply  in  female  servants  and  provisions,  'tis  better, 
madam,  to  entertain  kindly  feelings. 

Wife.  But  he  purloins  from  me  gold  trinkets  and  mantles 
from  out  of  the  chests  at  home ;  he  plunders  me,  and  secretly 
carries  off  my  ornaments  to  harlots. 

Old  Man.  He  does  wrong,  if  he  does  that ;  if  he.  does 
not  do  it,  you  do  wrong  in  accusing  him  ivhen  innocent. 

Wife.  Why  at  this  moment,  even,  he  has  got  a  mantle, 
father,  and  a  bracelet,  which  he  had  carried  off  to  her  ;  now, 
because  I  came  to  know  of  it,  he  brings  them  back. 

Old  Man.  I'll  know  from  himself,  then,  how  it  happened. 
I'll  go  up  to  this  man  and  accost  him.  {Goes  up  to  Me- 
n^chmtjs.)  Tell  me  this,  Menaechmus,  what  you  two  are 
disputing  about,  that  I  may  know.  Why  are  you  pensive  3 
And  why  does  she  in  anger  stand  apart  from  you  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Whoever  you  are,  whatever  is  your  name,  old 
gentleman,  I  call  to  witness  supreme  Jove  and  the  Dei- 
ties  

Old  Man.  For  what  reason,  or  what  matter  of  all  matters  ? 

Men.  Sos.  That  I  have  neither  done  wrong  to  that  woman, 
who  is  accusing  me  of  having  purloined  this  {pointing  to 
the  mantle)  away  from  her  at  home  *  * 

and  which  she  solemnly  swears  that  I  did  take  away.     If 

1  On  this  side  you  stand) — Ver.  799.  It  was  the  custom  for  the  patron,  when 
acting  as  the  counsel,  to  have  his  client  standing  hy  him  while  pleading.  The  wife 
complains  that  her  father  has  been  sent  for  by  her  to  act  as  her  own  advocate,  but 
that,  instead  of  so  doing,  he  is  encouraging  her  supposed  husband  in  hia  perverse- 
ness. 


So.  II.  OR,  TII£  TWIN-EKOTHEES.  357 

ever  I  set  foot  inside  of  her  house  where  she  lives,  I  wish 
that  I  may  become  the  most  wretched  of  all  wretched 
men. 

Old  Man.  Are  you  in  your  senses  to  wish  this,  or  to  deny 
that  you  ever  set  foot  in  that  house  where  you  live,  you 
downright  madman  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Do  you  say,  old  gentleman,  that  I  live  in  this 
house  ?     (Pointing  at  the  house.) 

Old  Man.  Do  you  deny  it  ?  Men.  Sos.  By  my  faith,  I 
certainly  do  deny  it. 

Old  Man.  In  your  fun  you  are  going  too  far  in  denying 
it ;  unless  you  flitted  elsewhere  this  last  night.  Step  this 
way,  please,  daughter.  (To  the  Wife.)  What  do  you  say  ? 
Have  you  removed  from  this  house  ? 

Wife.  To  what  place,  or  for  what  reason,  prithee  ? 

Old  Man.  I'  faith,  I  don't  know.  Wife.  He's  surely 
making  fun  of  you. 

Old  Man.  Can't  you  keep  yourself  quiet  ?  Now,  Me- 
naechmus,  you  really  have  joked  long  enough ;  now  do 
seriously  attend  to  this  matter. 

Men.  Sos.  Prithee,  what  have  I  to  do  with  you  ?  Whence 
or  wThat  person  are  you  ?  Is  your  mind  right,  or  hers,  in 
fact,  who  is  an  annoyance  to  me  in  every  way  ? 

Wife.  Don't  you  see  how  his  eyes  sparkle  ?  How  a 
green  colour1  is  arising  on  his  temples  and  his  forehead ;  look 
how  his  eyes  do  glisten       *  *  *  *  * 

#  #  *  # 

Men.  Sos.  0  me !  They  say  I'm  mad,  whereas  they  of 
themselves  are  mad. 

Wife.  How  he  yawns,  as  he  stretches  himself.  What  am 
I  to  do  now,  my  father  ? 

Old  Man.  Step  this  way,  my  daughter,  as  far  as  ever  you 
can  from  him. 

Men.  Sos.  (aside).  What  is  there  better  for  me  than, 
since  they  say  I'm  mad,  to  pretend  that  I  am  mad,  that  I 
may  frighten  them   away  from  me  ?      (He  dances  about.) 

1  A  green  colour) — Ver.  829.  It  was  supposed  that  in  madness,  or  extrema 
anger,  the  countenance  assumed  a  greenish  hue.  Ben  Jonson  has  probably  imi- 
tated this  passage  m  the  Silent  Woman,  Act  IV.,  sc.  4. :  "  Lord !  how  idly  he  talks, 
and  how  his  eyes  sparkle  t  he  looks  green  about  the  temples !  Do  you  see  what 
blue  spots  he  has?" 


858  MEiTJSOHMij  ActlY. 

"Bvoe,  Bacchus,  ho !  Bromius1,  in  what  forest  dost  thou  in- 
vite me  to  the  chase  ?  I  hear  thee,  but  I  cannot  get  away 
from  this  spot,  so  much  does  this  raving  mad  female  cur 
watch  me  on  the  left  side.  And  behind  there  is  that  other 
old  he-goat,  who  many  a  time  in  his  life  has  proved  the  de- 
struction of  an  innocent  fellow-citizen  by  his  false  testi- 
mony. 

Old  Man  (shaking  his  stick  at  him).   Woe  to  your  head! 

Men.  Sos.  Lo  !  by  his  oracle,  Apollo  bids  me  burn  out  her 
eyes  with  blazing  torches.    (He  points  with  his  fingers  at  her.) 

"Wife.  I'm  undone,  my  father  ;  he's  threatening  to  burn 
my  eyes  out. 

Old  Man.  Hark  you,  daughter.  Wife.  What's  the 
matter  ?     What  are  wTe  to  do  ? 

Old  Man.  What  if  I  call  the  servants  out  here  ?  I'll  go 
bring  some  to  take  him  away  hence,  and  bind  him  at  home, 
before  he  makes  any  further  disturbance. 

Men.  Sos.  (aside).  So  now;  I  think  now  if  I  don't  adopt 
some  plan  for  myself,  these  people  will  be  carrying  me  off 
home  to  their  house.  (Aloud.)  Dost  thou  forbid  me  to  spare 
my  fists  at  all  upon  her  face,  unless  she  does  at  once  get  out 
of  my  sight  to  utter  and  extreme  perdition  ?  I  will  do  what 
thou  dost  bid  me,  Apollo.     (Buns  after  her.) 

Old  Man  (to  the  Wife).  Away  with  you  home  as  soon 
as  possible,  lest  he  should  knock  you  down. 

Wife.  I'm  off.  Watch  him,  my  father,  I  entreat  you, 
that  he  mayn't  go  anywhere  hence.  Am  I  not  a  wretched 
woman  to  hear  these  things  ?     (She  goes  into  her  house.) 

Men.  Sos.  (aside).  I've  got  rid  of  her  not  so  badly. 
(Aloud).  Now  as  for  this  most  filthy,  long-bearded,  palsied 
Tithonus,  who  is  said  to  have  had  Cygnus  for  his  father3,  you 

1  Ho !  Bromius) — Ver.  836.  Evius  and  Bromius  were  two  of  the  names  by 
which  the  Bacchanals  addressed  Bacchus  in  their  frenzy. 

2  Cygnus  for  his  father) — Ver.  854.  Plautus  designedly  makes  Menaechmus 
Sosicles  be  guilty  of  the  mistake  of  styling  Tithonus  the  son  of  Cygnus,  as  helping 
to  promote  the  belief  of  his  madness.  Tithonus  was  the  son  of  Laomedon,  and  the 
brother  of  Priam.  He  was  beloved  by  Aurora,  and  the  poets  feigned  that  he  was 
her  husband.  Having  received  the  gift  of  immortality,  he  forgot  to  have  perpetual 
youthfulness  united  with  the  gift ;  and  at  length,  in  his  extreme  old  age,  he  was 
changed  into  a  grasshopper.  There  were  several  persons  of  the  name  of  Cygnus, 
or  Cycnus ;  one  was  the  son  of  Apollo  and  Hyrie,  another  of  Mars  and  Pelopea, 
or  Pyrene,  another  of  Neptune  and  Calyx,  and  a  fourth  of  Ocitus  and  Arnophile 


SC.  II.  OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  350 

bid  me  break  in  pieces  his  limbs,  and  bones,  and  members 
with  that  walking-stick  which  he  himself  is  holding. 

Old  Man.  Punishment  shall  be  inflicted  if  you  touch,  me 
indeed,  or  if  you  come  nearer  to  me. 

Men.  Sos.  {shouting  aloud).  I  will  do  what  thou  dost  bid 
me ;  I  will  take  a  two-edged  axe,  and  I  will  hew  this  old  fellow 
to  his  very  bones,  and  I  will  chop  his  entrails  into  mince- 
meat. 

Old  Man  (retreating  as  far  as  he  can).  Why  really 
against  that  must  I  take  care  and  precaution.  As  he 
threatens,  I'm  quite  in  dread  of  him,  lest  he  should  do  me 
some  mischief. 

Men.  Sos.  (jumping  and  raising  Ms  arms).  Many  things 
dost  thou  bid  me  do,  Apollo.  Now  thou  dost  order  me  to 
take  the  yoked  horses,  unbroke  and  fierce,  and  to  mount  the 
chariot,  that  I  may  crush  to  pieces  this  aged,  stinking,  tooth- 
less lion.  Now  have  I  mounted  the  chariot ;  now  do  I  hold 
the  reins  ;  now  is  the  whip  in  my  hand.  Speed  onward,  ye 
steeds,  let  the  sound  of  your  hoofs  be  heard  ;  in  your  swift 
course  let  the  rapid  pace  of  your  feet1  be  redoubled.  (Points 
at  the  Old  Man  as  he  pretends  to  gallop.) 

Old  Man.  Are  you  threatening  me  with  your  yoked 
steeds  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Lo !  again,  Apollo,  thou  dost  bid  me  to  make 
an  onset  against  him  who  is  standing  here,  and  to  murder 
him.  But  what  person  is  this  that  is  tearing  me  hence  by 
the  hair  down  from  the  chariot  ?  He  revokes  thy  commands 
and  the  decree  of  Apollo. 

Old  Man.  Alas !  a  severe  and  obstinate  malady,  i'  faith. 
By  our  trust  in  you,  ye  Gods  *  *  *  * 

*  *  *  *  even  this  person  who  is 

now  mad,  how  well  he  was  a  little  time  since.  All  on  a 
sudden  has  so  great  a  distemper  attacked  him.  I'll  go  now 
and  fetch  a  physician  as  fast  as  I  can.  (Exit. 

Men.  Sos.  Prithee,  are  these  persons  gone  now  out  of  my 
sight,  who  are  compelling  me  by  force,  while  in  my  wits,  to 
be  mad  ?     Why  do  I  delay  to  be  off  to  the  ship,  while  I  can 

1  The  rapidpace  of  your  feet) — Ver.  867.  "  Cursu  celeri  facite  inflexa  sit  pedum 
pernicitas."  Literally,  "  in  the  swift  course,  make  the  swiftness  oi  your  feet  to 
be  bent  inwards."  The  legs  of  good  horses,  when  trotting  fast,  bend  inwards  b^ 
fore  they  throw  them  out. 


360  MEN^CHMI  ;  Act  V, 

in  safety?  ###### 

#  *  And  all  of  you  (to  ^Spectators), 

if  the  old  gentleman  should  return,  I  beg  not  to  tell  him, 
now,  by  what  street  I  fled  away  hence.  {Exit. 

Act  V. — Scene  I. 

Enter  the  Old  Man,  very  slowly. 

Old  Man.  My  bones  ache  with  sitting,  my  eyes  with 
watching,  while  waiting  for  the  Doctor,  till  he  returned  from 
his  business.  At  last  the  troublesome  fellow  has  with  diffi- 
culty got  away  from  his  patients.  He  says  that  he  has  set 
a  broken  leg  for  iEsculapius1,  and  an  arm  for  Apollo.  I'm 
now  thinking  whether  I'm  to  say  that  I'm  bringing  a  doctor 
or  a  carpenter2.  But,  see,  here  he  comes. — Do  get  on  with 
your  ant's  pace. 

Scene  II. — Enter  a  Doctor. 

Doct.  "What  did  you  say  was  his  disorder  ?  Tell  me, 
respected  sir.  Is  he  harassed  by  sprites3,  or  is  he  frenzied  ? 
Let  me  know.  Is  it  lethargy,  or  is  it  dropsy,  that  possesses 
him? 

Old  Man.  "Why,  I'm  bringing  you  for  that  reason,  that 
you  may  tell  me  that,  and  make  him  convalescent. 

Doct.  That  indeed  is  a  very  easy  matter.  Why,  I  shall 
heal  innumerable  times  as  many4  in  the  day. 

Old  Man.  I  wish  him  to  be  treated  with  great  attention. 

Doct.  That  he  shall  be  healed,  I  promise  that  on  my 
word ;  so  with  great  attention  will  I  treat  him  for  you. 

1  For  jEsculapius) — Ver.  885.  Apollo  and  iEsculapius  were  the  two  guardian 
Divinities  of  the  medical  art.  The  old  man,  perhaps,  mentions  their  names  in- 
stead of  those  of  some  persons  of  whose  wonderful  cures  the  Doctor  has  been 
bragging. 

2  Or  a  carpenter) — Ver.  887.  He  says  that,  talking  of  meuding  legs,  the 
Doctor  may,  for  aught  he  knows,  be  some  carpenter,  who  has  been  patching  up 
the  legs  of  statues. 

3  Harassed  by  sprites) — Ver.  890.  "  Larvatus  aut  cerritus."  The  "  larvati" 
were  mad  persons,  supposed  to  be  afflicted  with  ghosts  or  spectres;  while  the 
"cerriti"  were  persons  who  were  thought  to  be  visited  with  madness  by  the 
Goddess  Ceres. 

*  Innumerable  times  as  many) — Ver.  894.  The  Doctor  is  bragging  oi  hi?  exces- 
sive practice. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  361 

Old  Man.  Why,  see !  here's  the  man  himself. 
Doer.  Let's  watch  what  matter  he's  about.      (Tliey  stand 
aside.) 

Scene  III. — Enter  Men^chhus  of  Epidamnus. 

Men.  (to  himself).  By  my  faith,  this  day  has  certainly 
fallen  out  perverse  and  adverse  for  me,  since  the  Parasite, 
who  has  filled  me  full  of  disgrace  and  terror,  has  made  that 
all  known,  which  I  supposed  I  was  doing  secretly ;  my  own 
Ulysses1,  who  has  brought  so  great  evil  on  his  king — a  fellow 
that,  by  my  troth,  if  I  only  live,  I'll  soon  finish  his  life2. 
But  I'm  a  fool,  who  call  that  his,  which  is  my  own.  "With 
my  own  victuals  and  at  my  own  expense  has  he  been  sup- 
ported ;  of  existence  will  I  deprive  the  fellow.  But  the 
Courtesan  has  done  this  in  a  way  worthy  of  her,  just  as  the 
harlot's  habit  is  :  because  I  ask  for  the  mantle,  that  it  may 
be  returned  again  to  my  wife,  she  declares  that  she  has  given 
it  me.     O  dear !     By  my  faith,  I  do  live  a  wretched  man. 

Old  Man  (apart).  Do  you  hear  what  he  says  ? 

Doct.  (apart).   He  declares  that  he  is  wretched. 

Old  Man  (apart).  I  wish  you  to  accost  him. 

Doct.  (going  up  to  Mm) .  Save  you,  Mensechmus.  Prithee, 
why  do  you  bare  your  arm  ?  Don't  you  know  how  much 
mischief  you  are  now  doing  to  that  disease  of  yours  ? 

Men.  Why  don't  you  go  hang  yourself? 

Old  Man.  What  think  you  now  ?  Doct.  What  shouldn't 
I  think?  This  case  can't  be  treated  with  even  ointment  of 
hellebore.     But  what  have  you  to  say,  Mensechmus  ? 

Men.  What  do  you  want  ?  Doct.  Tell  me  this  that  I 
ask  of  you ;  do  you  drink  white  wine  or  dark-coloured  ? 

Men.  What  need  have  you  to  enquire  ? 

Doct    *  *  *  ^  *  ^ 

Men.  Why  don't  you  go  to  utter  perdition  ? 

1  My  own  Ulysses) — Ver.  902.  He  complains  that  the  Parasite,  who  used  to 
be  his  adviser,  and  as  good  as  a  Ulysses  to  him,  his  king,  or  patron,  has  been  the 
cause  of  all  liis  mishaps. 

2  Finish  his  life) — Ver.  933.  "Vita  evolvam  sua."  Literally,  "I  will  wind 
him  off  of  his  life."  He  probably  alludes  to  the  "  Parese,"  the  "  Fates"  or 
"  Destinies,"  who  were  fabled  to  be  the  daughters  of  Xox  and  Erebus,  and  of  whom, 
one,  named  Clotho,  held  the  distaff,  and  spun  the  thread  of  life;  another,  named 
Lachesis,  wound  it  off;  and  the  third,  called  Atropos,  cut  it  off  when  of  the  re- 
quisite  length. 


362  menjechmi  ;  Act  V 

Old  Man.  Troth,  lie's  now  beginning  to  be  attacked  with 
the  fit. 

Men.  Why  don't  yon  ask  whether  I'm  wont  to  eat  dark 
bread,  or  purple,  or  yellow  ?  Or  whether  I'm  wont  to  eat 
birds  with  scales,  or  fish  with  wings  ? 

Old  Man.  Dear,  dear!  {To  ^Doctor.)  Don't  you  hear  how 
deliriously  he  talks  ?  Why  do  you  delay  to  give  him  some- 
thing by  way  of  a  potion,  before  his  raving  overtakes  him  ? 

Doct.  Stop  a  little;  I'll  question  him  on  some  other 
matters  as  well. 

Old  Man.  You  are  killing  me1  by  your  prating. 

Doct.  (to  Men^echmtjs).  Tell  me  this  ;  are  your  eyes  ever 
in  the  habit  of  becoming  hard2  ? 

Men.  What  ?  Do  you  take  me  to  be  a  locust3,  you  most 
worthless  fellow  ? 

Doct.  Tell  me,  now,  do  your  bowels  ever  rumble  that  you 
know  of? 

Men.  When  I'm  full,  they  don't  rumble  at  all ;  when  I'm 
hungry,  then  they  do  rumble. 

Doct.  I'  faith,  he  really  gave  me  that  answer  not  like  an 
insane  person.  Do  you  always  sleep  soundly  until  daylight  ? 
Do  you  easily  go  to  sleep  when  in  bed  ? 

Men.  I  sleep  throughout  if  *  *  *  * 

*  *         I  go  to  sleep  if  I  have  paid  my  money 

to  him  to  whom  I  owe  it. 

Doct.  ******* 

Men.  (to  the  Doctoe).  May  Jupiter  and  all  the  Divinities 
confound  you,  you  questioner. 

Doct.  (aside).  Now  this  person  begins  to  rave.  (To  the 
Old  Man.)  From  those  expressions  do  you  take  care  of 
yourself. 

Old  Man.  Why,  he's  now  really  quite  favourable  in  his 
language,  in  comparison  with  what  he  was  a  short  time  since ; 

1  You  are  hilling  me) — Ver,  922.  "  Occidis  fabulans."  This  remark  seems 
rather  to  apply  to  the  effect  of  his  chattering,  upon  the  old  man  himself,  who  is 
growing  impatient,  than  upon  the  supposed  madman ;  though,  from  the  elliptical 
nature  of  the  expression,  the  latter  may  possibly  be  the  meaning. 

3  Of  becoming  hard) — Ver.  923.  This  was  supposed  to  be  one  of  the  symp* 
toms  of  madness. 

3  To  be  a  locust) — Ver.  924.  The  eyes  of  locusts  were  considered  to  be  of  pecu 
liar  hardness.  They  are  very  large  and  prominent.  It  has  been  suggested  that 
w  io:i\sta"  here  means  a  *'  lobster." 


Sc.  111.  OR,  THE  TWIN-BKOTIIEES.  363 

for,  a  little  while  ago,  lie  was  saying  that  his  wife  was  a 
raving  cur. 

Men.  What  did  I  say  ?  Old  Man.  You  were  raving,  I 
say. 

Men.  "What,  I  ?  Old  Man.  You  there  ;  who  threatened 
as  well  to  ride  me  down  with  your  yoked  steeds. 

Men.  ****** 

Old  Man.  I  myself  saw  you  do  this  ;  I  myself  accuse  you 
of  this. 

Men.  And  I  know  that  you  stole1  the  sacred  crown  of 
Jupiter ;  and  that  on  that  account  you  were  confined  in  pri- 
son ;  and  after  you  were  let  out,  I  know  that  you  were  beaten 
with  rods  in  the  bilboes ;  I  know,  too,  that  you  murdered 
your  father  and  sold  your  mother.  Don't  I  give  this  abuse 
in  answer  for  your  abuse,  like  a  sane  person  ? 

Old  Man.  I'  faith,  Doctor,  whatever  you  are  about  to  do, 
prithee,  do  it  quickly.    Don't  you  see  that  the  man  is  raving  ? 

Doct.  Do  you  know  what's  the  best  for  you  to  do  ? 
Have  him  taken  to  my  house. 

Old  Man.  Do  you  think  so  ?  Doct.  Why  should  I  not  ? 
There  at  my  own  discretion  I  shall  be  able  to  treat  the  man. 

Old  Man.  Do  just  as  you  please.  Doct.  (to  Men&ch- 
mits).  I'll  make  you  drink  hellebore  some  twenty  days. 

Men.  But,  hanging  up2,  I'll  flog  you  with  a  whip  for  thirty 
days. 

Doct.  (to  the  Old  Man).  Go  fetch  some  men  to  take  him 
off  to  my  house. 

Old  Man.  How  many  are  sufficient  ? 

Doct.  Since  I  see  him  thus  raving,  four,  no  less. 

Old  Man.  They  shall  be  here  this  instant.  Do  you  keep 
an  eye  on  him,.  Doctor. 

Doct.  Why,  no,  I  shall  go  home  that  the  things  may  be 
got  ready,  which  are  necessary  to  be  prepared.  Bid  your  ser- 
vants carry  him  to  my  house. 

Old  Man.  I'll  make  him  be  there  just  now. 

1  That  you  stole) — Ver.  941.  This  expression  has  been  already  remarked  upon 
in  the  Notes  to  the  Trinummus. 

2  But,  hanging  up) — "Ver.  951.  "Pendentem."  When  they  were  flogged,  the 
slaves  were  tied  up  with  their  hands  extended  over  their  heads.  Probably,  the 
Doctor  is  intended  to  be  represented  as  being  a  slave ;  as  many  of  the  liberal  pur- 
suits were  followed  by  slaves,  and  sometimes  to  the  very  great  profit  of  their 
masters.  The  "  furca "  (for  want  of  a  better  word,  called  "  oilboes '  in  thtf 
translation)  is  referred  to  in  another  Note. 


364  MENiECHMI  ;  Act  V- 

Doct.  I'm  off.     Old  Man.  FareweL. 

{Exeunt  Old  Man  and  Doctor,  separately. 

Men.  My  father-in-law  is  gone,  the  Doctor  is  gone ;  I'd 
alone.  O  Jupiter !  "Why  is  it  that  these  people  say  I'm 
mad  ?  Why,  in  fact,  since  I  was  born,  I  have  never  for  a 
single  day  been  ill.  I'm  neither  mad,  nor  do  I  commence 
strifes  or  quarrels.  In  health  myself,  I  see  others  well ;  I 
know  people,  I  address  them.  Is  it  that  they  who  falsely  say 
I'm  mad,  are  mad  themselves  ?  "What  shall  I  do  now  ?  I 
wish  to  go  home ;  but  my  wife  doesn't  allow  me ;  and  here 
{pointing  to  Erottum's  house)  no  one  admits  me.  Most 
unfortunately  has  this  Mien  out.  Here  will  I  still  remain ; 
at  night,  at  least,  I  shall  be  let  into  the  house,  I  trust. 
{Stands  near  his  door.) 

Scene  IV. — Enter  Messenio. 
Mess,  {to  himself).  This  is  the  proof  of  a  good  servant, 
who  takes  care  of  his  master's  business,  looks  after  it,  arranges 
it,  thinks  about  it,  in  the  absence  of  his  master  diligently  to 
attend  to  the  affairs  of  his  master,  as  much  so  as  if  he  himself 
were  present,  or  even  better.  It  is  proper  that  his  back1 
should  be  of  more  consequence  than  his  appetite,  his  legs 
than  his  stomach,  whose  heart  is  rightly  placed.  Let  him 
bear  in  mind,  those  who  are  good  for  nothing,  what  reward 
is  given  them  by  their  masters — lazy,  worthless  fellows. 
Stripes,  fetters,  the  mill,  weariness,  hunger,  sharp  cold  ;  these 
are  the  rewards  of  idleness.  This  evil  do  I  terribly  stand  in 
awe  of.  Wherefore  'tis  sure  that  to  be  good  is  better  than 
to  be  bad.  Much  more  readily  do  I  submit  to  words, 
stripes  I  do  detest ;  and  I  eat  what  is  ground  much  more 
readily  than  supply  it  ground  by  myself2.  Therefore  do  I 
obey  the  command  of  my  master,  carefully  and  diligently  do 
I  observe  it ;  and  in  such  manner  do  I  pay  obedience,  as  I 
think  is  for  the  interest  of  my  back.  And  that  course  does 
profit  me.  Let  others  be  just  as  they  take  it  to  be  their 
interest;  I  shall  be  just  as  I  ought  to  be.  If  I  adhere  to 
that,  I  shall  avoid  faultiness  ;  so  that  I  am  in  readiness  for  my 

1  Jliat  his  back)— Vex.  970.  For  the  purpose  of  keeping  his  back  intact  from 
the  whip,  and  his  feet  from  the  fetters. 

2  Ground  by  myself) — Ver.  979.  He  alludes  to  the  custom  of  sending  refractory 
siaves  to  the  "pistrinum,"  where  the  corn  was  ground  by  a  handinill,  which  en- 
tai  ed  extreme  labour  on  those  grinding.  He  says  that  he  would  rather  that 
others  should  grind  the  corn  for  him,  than  that  he  should  grind  it  for  others. 


Sc.  Y.  OR,  THE  TWIN-BROTHERS.  365 

master  on  all  occasions,  I  shall  not  be  much  afraid.  The  time 
is  near,  when,  for  these  deeds  of  mine,  my  master  will  give  his 
reward.  After  I  had  deposited  the  goods  and  the  servants  in 
the  inn,  as  he  ordered  me,  thus  am  I  come  to  meet  him. 
(  Going  to  the  door  o/'Erotittm's  home?)  Now  I'll  knock  at  the 
door,  that  he  may  know  that  I'm  here,  and  that  out  of  this  thick 
wood1  of  peril  I  may  get  my  master  safe  out  of  doors.  But  I'm 
afraid  that  I'm  come  too  late,  after  the  battle  has  been  fought. 
Scene  Y. — Enter  the  Old  Man,  with  Servants. 

Old  Man  (to  the  Servants).  By  Gods  and  men,  I  tell 
you  prudently  to  pay  regard  to  my  commands,  as  to  what  I 
have  commanded  and  do  command.  Take  care  that  this 
person  is  carried  at  once  upon  your  shoulders  to  the  surgery, 
unless,  indeed,  you  set  no  value  upon  your  legs  or  your  sides. 
Take  care  each  of  you  to  regard  at  a  straw  whatever  threats 
he  shall  utter.  What  are  you  standing  for  ?  Why  are  you 
hesitating?  By  this  you  ought  to  have  had  him  carried 
off  on  your  shoulders.  I'll  go  to  the  Doctor ;  I'll  be  there 
ready  when  you  shall  come. 

(Exit.     TJie  Servants  gather  around  Men^chmus. 

Men.  I'm  undone.  What  business  is  this  ?  Why  are 
these  men  running  towards  me,  pray  ?  What  do  you  want  ? 
What  do  you  seek  ?  Why  do  you  stand  around  me  ?  (They 
seize  and  drag  him.)  Whither  are  you  dragging  me  ?  Whi- 
ther are  you  carrying  me  ?  I'm  undone.  I  entreat  your 
assistance,  citizens,  men  of  Epidamnus,  come  and  help  me. 
(To  the  men.)  Why  don't  you  let  me  go  ? 

Mess,  (running  towards  them).  O  ye  immortal  Gods,  I  be- 
seech you,  what  do  I  behold  with  my  eyes  ?  Some  fellows,  1 
know  not  who,  are  most  disgracefully  carrying  off  my  master 
upon  their  shoulders. 

Men.  Who  is  it  that  ventures  to  bring  me  aid  ? 

Mess.  I,  master,  and  right  boldly.  (Aloud.)  O  shameful 
and  scandalous  deed,  citizens  of  Epidamnus,  for  my  master, 
here  in  a  town  enjoying  peace,  to  be  carried  off,  in  daylight, 
in  the  street,  who  came  to  you  a  free  man.     Let  him  go. 

Men.  Prithee,  whoever  you  are,  do  lend  me  your  aid,  and 
don't  suffer  so  great  an  outrage  to  be  signally  committed 
against  me. 

1  This  thick  wood) — Ver.  988.  He  compares  the  house  of  the  Courtesan  to  a 
forest,  or  thicket.  These  latter  places,  as  being  frequently  the  lurking-place* 
of  thieves  and  robbers,  would  be  especially  dangerous  to  travellers. 


366  menjschmi  ;  Act  V 

Mess.  Aye,  I'll  give  you  my  aid,  and  I'll  defend  you,  and 
zealously  succour  you.  I'll  never  let  you  come  to  harm ; 
'tis  fitter  that  I  myself  should  come  to  harm.  I'll  now  make 
a  sowing  on  the  faces  of  these  fellows,  and  there  I'll  plant  my 
fists.  I'  faith,  you're  carrying  this  person  off  this  day  at 
your  own  extreme  hazard.    Let  him  go.  {He  lays  about  him.) 

Men.  (fighting  with  them).  I've  got  hold  of  this  fellow's  eye. 

Mess.  Make  the  socket  of  his  eye  be  seen  in  his  head.  You 
rascals !  you  villains  !  you  robbers  ! 

The  Seevants  {severally).  We  are  undone.  Troth,  now, 
prithee,  do 

Mess.  Let  him  go  then.  Men.  What  business  have  you 
to  touch  me  ?     Thump  them  with  your  fists. 

Mess.  Come,  begone,  fly  hence  to  utter  perdition  with  you. 
{Three  run  away.)  Here's  for  you,  too  (giving  the  fourth  one 
a  punch)  ;  because  you  are  the  last  to  yield,  you  shall  have 
this  for  a  reward.  (They  all  disappear.)  Eight  well  have  I 
marked  his  face,  and  quite  to  my  liking.  Troth,  now,  master, 
I  really  did  come  to  your  help  just  now  in  the  nick  of  time. 

Men.  And  may  the  Gods,  young  man,  whoever  you  are, 
ever  bless  you.  For,  had  it  not  been  for  you,  I  should  never 
have  survived  this  day  until  sunset. 

Mess.  By  my  troth,  then,  master,  if  you  do  right,  you  will 
give  me  my  freedom. 

Men.  I,  give  you  your  freedom?  Mess.  Doubtless: 
since,  master,  I  have  saved  you. 

Men.  How's  this  ?     Young  man,  you  are  mistaken. 

Mess.  How,  mistaken  ?  Men.  By  father  Jove,  I  solemnly 
swear  that  I  am  not  your  master. 

Mess.  Will  you  not  hold  your  peace  ?  Men.  I'm  telling 
no  lie ;  nor  did  any  servant  of  mine  ever  do  such  a  thing 
as  you  have  done  for  me. 

Mess.  In  that  case,  then,  let  me  go  free,  if  you  deny  that 
I  am  your  servant. 

Men.  By  my  faith,  so  far,  indeed,  as  I'm  concerned,  be 
free,  and  go  where  you  like. 

Mess.  That  is,  you  order  me  to  do  so  ? 

Men.  I'  faith,  I  do  order  you,  if  I  have  aught  of  authority 
over  you. 

Mess.  Save  you,  my  patron.  Since  you  seriously  give  me 
»ny  freedom,  I  rejoice. 

Men.  I'  faith,  I  really  do  believe  you. 


Sc.  VI.  OE,  THE  TWIN-BROTHEES.  367 

Mess.  But,  my  patron,  I  do  entreat  you  that  you  won't 
command  me  any  the  less  now  than  when  I  was  your  ser- 
vant. With  you  will  I  dwell,  and  when  you  go  I'll  go  home 
together  with  you.  Wait  for  me  here;  I'll  now  go  to  the 
inn,  and  bring  back  the  luggage  and  the  money  for  you.  The 
purse,  with  the  money  for  our  journey,  is  fast  sealed  up  in  the 
wallet ;  I'll  bring  it  just  now  here  to  you. 

Men.  Bring  it  carefully.  Mess.  I'll  give  it  back  safe  to 
you  just  as  you  gave  it  to  me.     Do  you  wait  for  me  here. 

{Exit  Messenio. 

Men".  "Very  wonderful  things  have  really  happened  this 
day  to  me  in  wonderful  ways.  Some  deny  that  I  am  he  who 
I  am,  and  shut  me  out  of  doors ;  others  say  that  I  am  he 
who  I  am  not,  and  will  have  it  that  they  are  my  servants.  He 
for  instance,  who  said  that  he  was  going  for  the  money,  to 
whom  I  gave  his  freedom  just  now.  Since  he  says  that  he  will 
bring  me  a  purse  with  money,  if  he  does  bring  it1,  I'll 
say  that  he  may  go  free  from  me  where  he  pleases,  lest  at  a 
time  when  he  shall  have  come  to  his  senses  he  should  ask  the 
money  of  me.  My  father-in-law  and  the  Doctor  were  saying 
that  I  am  mad.  Whatever  it  is,  it  is  a  wonderful  affair. 
These  things  appear  to  me  not  at  all  otherwise  than  dreams. 
Now  I'll  go  in  the  house  to  this  Courtesan,  although  she  is 
angry  with  me  ;  if  I  can  prevail  upon  her  to  restore  the  mantle 
for  me  to  take  back  home.     {He  goes  into  Ekotium's  house.} 

Scene  VI. — Enter  Men^chmus  Sosicles  and  Messenio. 

Men.  Sos.  Do  you  dare  affirm,  audacious  fellow,  that  I 
have  ever  met  you  this  day  since  the  time  when  I  ordered 
you  to  come  here  to  meet  me  ? 

Mess.  Why,  I  just  now  rescued  you  before  this  house, 
when  four  men  were  carrying  you  off  upon  their  shoulders. 
You  invoked  the  aid  of  all  Gods  and  men,  when  I  ran 
up  and  delivered  you  by  main  force,  fighting,  and  in  spite  of 
them.  For  this  reason,  because  I  rescued  you,  you  set  me 
at  liberty.  WTien  I  said  that  I  was  going  for  the  money  and 
the  luggage,  you  ran  before  to  meet  me  as  quickly  as  you 
could,  in  order  that  you  might  deny  what  you  did. 

1  If  he  does  bring  it) — Ver.  1044.  He  contemplates  robbing  even  the  man  wlm 
has  just  rescued  him.  The  disnonesty  of  his  brother,  in  carrying  off  the  mantle 
and  bracelet,  and  wishing  to  rob  the  servant-maid  of  the  gold  for  her  earrings,  has 
been  previously  re  narked. 


368  MEN^CHMl  J  Act  V. 

Men.  Sos.  I,  bade  you  go  away  a  free  man  ? 

Mess.  Certainly.  Men.  Sos.  Why,  on  the  contrary,  'tis 
most  ce  rtain  that  I  myself  would  rather  become  a  slave  than 
ever  give  you  your  freedom. 

Scene  VII. — Enter  Men^schmtts  of  Epidaninus,  from 
Erotium's  house. 

Men.  {at  the  door,  to  Erotium  within).  If  you  are  ready 
to  swear  by  your  eyes,  by  my  troth,  not  a  bit  the  more  for 
that  reason,  most  vile  woman,  will  you  make  it  that  I  took 
away  the  mantle  and  the  bracelet  to-day. 

Mess.  Immortal  Gods,  what  do  I  see  ? 

Men.  Sos.  "What  do  you  see  ?  Mess.  Tour  resemblance 
in  a  mirror. 

Men.  Sos.  What's  the  matter  ?  Mess.  "lis  your  image ; 
'tis  as  like  as  possible. 

Men.  Sos.  {catching  sight  of  the  other).  Troth,  it  really  is 
not  unlike,  so  far  as  1  know  my  own  form. 

Men.  {to  Messenio).  O  young  man,  save  you,  you  who 
preserved  me,  whoever  you  are. 

Mess.  By  my  troth,  young  man,  prithee,  tell  me  your 
name,  unless  it's  disagreable. 

Men.  I'  faith,  you've  not  so  deserved  of  me,  that  it  should 
be  disagreable  for  me  to  tell  what  you  wish.  My  name  is 
Menaechmus. 

Men.  Sos.  Why,  by  my  troth,  so  is  mine. 

Men.  I  am  a  Sicilian,  of  Syracuse. 

Men.  Sos.  Troth,  the  same  is  my  native  country. 

Men.  What  is  it  that  I  hear  of  you  ? 

Men.  Sos.  That  which  is  the  fact. 

Mess.  {To  Men^chmus  Sosicles,  by  mistake).  I  know 
this  person  myself  {'pointing  to  the  other  Men^ichmus)  ;  he 
is  my  master,  I  really  am  his  servant ;  but  I  did  think  I  be- 
longed to  this  other.  {To  Menjechmtjs  of  Epidamnus,  by 
mistake.)  I  took  him  to  be  you  ;  to  him,  too,  did  I  give 
some  trouble.  {To  his  master.)  Pray,  pardon  me  if  I  have 
said  aught  foolishly  or  unadvisedly  to  you. 

Men.  Sos.  You  seem  to  me  to  be  mad.  Don't  you  re- 
member that  together  with  me  you  disembarked  from  board 
ship  to-day  ? 

Mess.  Why,  really,  you  say  what's  right — you  are  my 
master ;  {to  Men^chmus  of  Epidamnus)  do  you  look  out 
for  a  servant.     (To  his  master.)    To  you  my  greetings ;  {tJ 


Sc.  VII.  OE,  TIIE  TWIN-BROTHEIiS.  .  3G9 

Menaechmus  of  JEpidamnus)  to  you,  farewell.  This,  I  say, 
is  Menaechmus. 

Men.  But  I  say  I  am.  Men.  Sos.  What  story's  this? 
Are  you  Menaechmus  ? 

Men.  I  say  that  I'm  the  sou  of  Moschus,  who  was  my  father. 

Men.  Sos.  Are  you  the  sou  of*  my  father  ? 

Men.  Aye,  I  really  am,  young  man,  of  my  own  father.  I 
don't  want  to  claim  your  father,  nor  to  take  possession  of 
him  from  you. 

Mess.  Immortal  Gods,  what  unhoped-for  hope  do  you  be- 
stow on  me,  as  I  suspect.  For  unless  my  mind  misleads  me, 
these  are  the  two  twin-brothers ;  for.  they  mention  alike 
their  native  country  and  their  father.  I'll  call  my  master 
aside — Menaechmus. 

Both  oe  the  Men^chmi.  What  do  you  want  ? 

Mess.  I  don't  want  you  both.  But  which  of  you  was 
brought  here  in  the  ship  with  me  ? 

Men.  Not  I.     Men.  Sos.  But  'twas  I. 

Mess.  You,  then,  I  want.    Step  this  way.  {They  go  aside.) 

Men.  Sos.  I've  stepped  aside  now.     What's  the  matter  r 

Mess.  This  man  is  either  an  impostor,  or  he  is  your  twin- 
brother.  But  I  never  beheld  one  person  more  like  another 
person.  Neither  water,  believe  me,  is  ever  more  like  to  water 
nor  milk  to  milk,  than  he  is  to  you,  and  you  likewise  to  him  ; 
besides,  he  speaks  of  the  same  native  country  and  father.  'Tis 
better  for  us  to  accost  him  and  make  further  enquiries  of  him. 

Men.  Sos.  I'  faith,  but  you've  given  me  good  advice,  and  I 
return  you  thanks.  Troth,  now,  prithee,  do  continue  to  lend 
me  your  assistance.  If  you  discover  that  this  is  my  brother, 
be  you  a  free  man. 

Mess.  I  hope  I  shall.  Men.  Sos.  I  too  hope  that  it  will 
be  so. 

Mess,  (to  Menjechmtts  of  Upidanmus).  How  say  you? 
I  think  you  said  that  you  are  called  Menaechmus  ? 

Men.  I  did  so  indeed.  Mess,  ('pointing  to  his  master).  His 
name,  too,  is  Menaechmus.  You  said  that  you  were  born  at 
Syracuse,  in  Sicily;  he  was  born  there.  You  said  that  Moschus 
was  your  father  ;  he  was  his  as  well.  Now  both  of  you  can 
be  giving  help  to  me  and  to  yourselves  at  the  same  time. 

Men.  You  have  deserved  that  you  should  beg  nothing  but 
what  you  should  obtain  that  which  you  desire.  Free  as  I  am, 
I'll  serve  you  as  though  you  had  bought  me  for  money. 


370  MEN^CIIMI  Act  V. 

Mess.  I  have  a  hope  that  I  shall  find  that  you  two  are 
twin-born  brothers,  born  of  one  mother  and  of  one  father  on 
the  same  day. 

Men.  You  mention  wondrous  things.  I  wish  that  you 
could  effect  what  you've  promised: 

Mess.  I  can.  But  attend  now,  both  of  you,  and  tell  me 
that  which  I  shall  ask. 

Men.  Ask  as  you  please,  I'll  answer  you.  I'll  not  con- 
ceal anything  that  I  know. 

Mess.  Isn't  your  name  Mensechmus  ?     Men.  I  own  it. 

Mess.  Isn't  it  yours  as  well  ?     Men.  Sos.  It  is. 

Mess.  Do  you  say  that  Moschus  w^as  your  father  ? 

Men.  Truly,  I  do  say  so.     Men.  Sos.  And  mine  as  v)ell. 

Mess.  Are  you  of  Syracuse  ?     Men.  Certainly. 

Mess.  And  you  ?     Men.  Sos.  Why  not  the  same? 

Mess.  Hitherto  the  marks  agree  perfectly  well.  Still 
lend  me  your  attention.  {To  Men^chmus.)  Tell  me,  what 
do  you  remember  at  the  greatest  distance  of  time  in  your 
native  country  ? 

Men.  When  I  went  with  my  father  to  Tarentum  to  traffic; 
and  afterwards  how  I  strayed  away  from  my  father  among 
the  people,  and  was  carried  away  thence. 

Men.  Sos.  Supreme  Jupiter,  preserve  me  ! 

Mess,  (to MENiECHMUs  Sosicles).  Why  do  you  exclaim? 
Why  don't  you  hold  your  peace  ?  {To  Men^chmus.)  How 
many  years  old  were  you  when  your  father  took  you  from 
your  native  country  ? 

Men.  Seven  years  old;  for  just  then  my  teeth  were 
changing  for  the  first  time.  And  never  since  then  have  I 
seen  my  father. 

Mess.  Well,  how  many  sons  of  you  had  your  father  then  ? 

Men.  As  far  as  I  now  remember,  two. 

Mess.  Which  of  the  two  was  the  older — you  or  the  other  ? 

Men.  Both  were  just  alike  in  age. 

Mess.  How  can  that  be  ?     Men.  We  two  were  twins. 

Men.  Sos.  The  (rods  wish  to  bless  me. 

Mess,  {to  Menjechmus  Sosicles).  If  you  interrupt,  I  shall 
hold  my  tongue. 

Men.  Sos.  Rather  than  that,  I'll  hold  my  tongue. 

Mess.  Tell  me,  were  you  both  of  the  same  name  ? 

Men.  By  70  means ;  for  my  name  was  what  it  is  now, 
Mensechmus  ,  the  other  they  then  used  to  call  Sosicles. 


8C.  VII.  OR,  THE  TWIN-BKOTHEBSL  371 

Men.  Sos.  {embracing  his  brother).  I  recognize  the  proofs  ; 
T  cannot  refrain  from  embracing  him.  My  own  twin-brother, 
blessings  on  you ;  I  am  Sosicles. 

Men.  How  then  was  the  name  of  Menaechmus  afterwards 
given  to  you  ? 

Men.  Sos.  After  word  was  brought  to  us  that  you  * 

*  *  *  *  and  that  my  father  was 
dead,  my  grandfather  changed  it ;  the  name  that  was  yours 
he  gave  to  me. 

Men.  I  believe  that  it  did  so  happen  as  you  say.  But 
answer  me  this. 

Men.  Sos.  Ask  it  of  me.  Men.  What  was  the  name  of 
our  mother  ? 

Men.  Sos.  Teuximarcha.  Men.  That  quite  agrees.  {He 
again  embraces  him.)  0  welcome,  unhoped-for  brother,  whom 
after  many  years  I  now  behold. 

Men.  Sos.  And  you,  whom  with  many  and  anxious  labours 
I  have  ever  been  seeking  up  to  this  time,  and  whom  I  re- 
joice at  being  found. 

Mess,  {to  his  master).  It  was  for  this  reason  that  this 
Courtesan  called  you  by  his  name ;  she  thought  that  you 
were  he,  I  suppose,  when  she  invited  you  to  breakfast. 

Men.  Why,  faith,  to-day  I  ordered  a  breakfast  to  be  got 
ready  here  {pointing  to  Eeotium's  house)  for  me,  unknown 
to  my  wife ;  a  mantle  which  a  short  time  since  I  filched  from 
home,  to  her  I  gave  it. 

Men.  Sos.  Do  you  say,  brother,  that  this  is  the  mantle 
which  I'm  wearing  ? 

Men.  How  did  this  come  to  you  ?  Men.  Sos.  The  Courte- 
san who  took  me  here  {pointing  to  Erotium's  house)  to 
breakfast,  said  that  I  had  given  it  to  her.  I  breakfasted 
very  pleasantly ;  I  drank  and  entertained  myself  with  my 
mistress ;  she  gave  me  the  mantle  and  this  golden  trinket. 
{Showing  the  bracelet.)  *  *  *  * 

#  "         '    #  #  *  # 

Men.  I'  faith,  I'm  glad  if  any  luck  has  befallen  you  on  my 
account ;  for  when  she  invited  you  to  her  house,  she  supposed 
it  to  be  me. 

Mess.  Do  you  make  any  objection  that  I  should  be  free  as 
you  commanded? 

Men.  He  asks,  brother,  what's  very  fair  and  very  just. 
Do  it  for  mv  sake. 

2b2 


372  MENiECHMI.  Act  V 

Men.  Sos.  {touching  Messenio's  shoulder).  Be  thou  a 
free  man. 

Men.  I  am  glad,  Messenio,  that  you  are  free. 

Mess.  Why,  better  auspices1  were  required  that  I  should 
be  free  for  life.  •  •  »•  • 

*  #  *  # 

Men.  Sos.  Since  these  matters,  brother,  have  turned  out 
to  our  wishes,  let  us  both  return  to  oar  native  land. 

Men.  Brother,  I'll  do  as  you  wish.  I'll  have  an  auction 
here,  and  sell  whatever  I  have.  In  the  meantime,  brother, 
let's  now  go  in-doors. 

Men.  Sos.  Be  it  so.    Mess.  Do  you  know  what  I  ask  of  you? 

Men.  What  ?     Mess.  To  give  me  the  place  of  auctioneer. 

Men.  It  shall  be  given  you.  Mess.  Would  you  like  the 
auction,  then,  to  be  proclaimed  at  once  ?     For  what  day? 

Men.  On  the  seventh  day  hence. 

Mess,  {coming  forward,  and  speaking  in  a  loud  voice).  An 
auction  of  the  property  of  Menaechmus  will  certainly  take 
place  on  the  morning  of  the  seventh  day  hence.  His  slaves, 
furniture,  house,  and  farms,  will  be  sold.  All  will  go  for 
whatever  they'll  fetch  at  ready  money  prices.  His  wife,  too, 
will  be  sold  as  well,  if  any  purchaser  shall  come.  I  think  that 
by  the  entire  sale  Mencschmus  will  hardly  get  fifty  hundred 
thousand3  sesterces.  {To  the  Spectators.)  Now,  Spectators, 
fare  you  well,  and  give  us  loud  applause3. 

1  Belter  auspices') — Ver.  1149.  He  alludes  to  the  pretended  manumission  which 
lie  has  already  received  from  Menaechmus  of  Epidaninus,  when  he  took  him  to  be 
his  master 

-  Fifty  hundred  thousand) — Ver.  11G1.  The  sestertius,  before  the  time  of  Au- 
gustus, was  a  silver  coin  of  the  value  of  twopence  and  one-half  of  a  farthing; 
while  after  that  period,  its  value  was  one  penny  three-farthings  and  a  half.  The 
large  sum  here  mentioned,  at  the  former  value,  amounts  to  44,370/.  16s.  8d.  He 
says  "  vix,"  it  will  "hardly"  amount,  by  way  of  a  piece  of  boasting. 

3  Give  us  loud  applause) — Ver.  1162.  This  Comedy,  which  is  considered  to  be  one 
of  the  best,  if  not  the  very  best,  of  all  the  plays  of  Plautus,  is  thought  by  some  to 
have  been  derived  from  one  of  Menander's,  as  there  are  some  fragments  of  a  play 
by  that  Poet,  called  AiSu/zoi,  "  the  Twins."  It  is,  however,  very  doubtful  if  such 
is  the  fact.  It  is  rendered  doubly  famous  from  the  fact  that  Shakspeare  borrowed 
the  plot  of  his  Comedy  of  Errors  from  it,  through  the  medium  of  the  old  trans- 
lation of  the  Play,  published  in  the  year  1595,  which  is  in  some  parts  a  strict 
translation,  though  in  others  only  an  abridgment  of  the  original  work.  It  is 
thought  to  have  been  made  by  William  Warner,  who  wrote  a  poem  called  "  Albion's 
England,"  which  lie  dedicated  to  Henry  Cary,  Lord  Hunsdon,  who  was  Lord 
Chamberlain  to  Queen  Ann  the  wife  of  James  the  Firs* 


AULULARIA  ;  OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE 


Bramatis  ^3crson.x. 
The  Household  God,  who  speaks  the  Prologue. 

Euclio,  an  aged  Athenian. 

Megadorus,  uncle  of  Lyconides. 

Lyconides,  a  young  Athenian. 

Strobilus.  servant  of  Megadorus  and  Lyconides 

Pythodicus,  servant  of  Megadorus. 

Anthrax    ") 


Congrio 


Cooks. 


Eunomia,  the  sister  of  Megadorus. 
Piledra,  the  daughter  of  Euclio. 
Staphyla,  an  old  woman,  servant  of  Euclio. 


Sser«»—  At  hens,  before  the  houses  of  Euclio  and  Megadorus,  and  the  Tfmpia 
of  Faith. 


THE  SUBJECT 


Luclio,  a  miserly  old  Athenian,  has  a  daughter  named  Phaedra,  who  has  w*9n 
ravished  by  a  young  man  named  Lyconides,  but  is  ignorant  from  whom  she 
has  received  that  injury.  Lyconides  has  an  uncle  named  Megadorus,  who, 
being  ignorant  of  tnese  circumstances,  determines  to  ask  Phaedra  of  her  father, 
in  marriage  for  himself.  Euclio  has  discovered  a  pot  of  gold  in  his  house, 
which  he  watches  with  the  greatest  anxiety.  In  the  meantime,  Megadorus 
asks  his  daughter  in  marriage,  and  his  proposal  is  accepted ;  and  while  pre- 
parations are  making  for  the  nuptials,  Euclio  conceals  his  treasure,  first  in  on 
place  and  then  in  another.  Strobilus,  the  servant  of  Lyconides,  watches  his 
movements,  and,  having  discovered  it,  carries  off  the  treasure.  While  Euclio  is 
lamenting-  his  loss,  Lyconides  accosts  him,  with  the  view  of  confessing  the 
outrage  he  nas  committed  on  his  daughter,  and  of  announcing  to  him  that  his 
uncle,  Megadorus,  has  cancelled  his  agreement  to  marry  her,  in  favour  of  him- 
self. Euclio  at  first  thinks  that  he  is  come  to  confess  the  robbery  of  the  treasure. 
After  much  parleying,  his  mistake  is  rectified,  and  the  matter  is  explained ;  on 
which  Lyconides  forces  Strobilus  to  confess  the  theft ;  and  (although  the  rest 
of  the  Play  in  its  original  form  is  lost)  we  learn  from  the  acrostic  Argument 
that  Strobilus  gives  up  the  treasure,  and  Lyconides  marries  the  daughter  of 
Euclio,  and  receives  the  gold  for  a  marriage-portion.  The  Supplement  written 
by  Codrus  Ursens  to  supply  the  place  of  what  is  lost,  has  been  added. 


AULULARIA1; 
OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE. 


THE  ACROiTIC  ARGUMENT  OF  PRISCIAN. 

A  pot  (Aulam)  that  he  has  found  full  of  gold,  Euclio  watches  with  the  greatest 
strictness  (  Ft),  being  distracted  in  a  dreadful  manner.  Lyconide^  (Lyconides) 
debauches  his  daughter.  Megadorus  wishes  (Tuft)  to  marry  her  without  a  por- 
tion, and  to  do  it  in  a  cheerful  way  (Lubens),  he  provides  cooks  with  provi- 
sions. Euclio  is  afraid  on  account  of  the  gold  (Auro);  he  drives  them  out  of 
the  house ;  and  the  whole  matter  (.Re)  having  been  seen,  the  servant  of  the 
ravisher  steals  it  (Id).  He  discloses  the  matter  to  Euclio;  by  (Ab)  him  he  is 
presented  with  the  gold,  a  wife,  and  a  son. 


THE    PBOLOGUE, 

Spoken  by  the  Household  God. 
Lest  any  one  should  wonder  who  I  am,  I  will  tell  you  in  a 
few  words.  I  am  the  household  God  of  this  family,  from  whose 
house  you  have  seen  me  coming  forth.  It  is  now  many  years 
that  I  have  been  occupying  this  house,  and  I  inhabited  it  for 
the  father  and  the  grandfather  of  this  person  who  now  dwells 
here.  But  beseeching  me,  his  grandfather  entrusted  to  me  a 
treasure  of  gold,  unknown  to  all.  He  deposited  it  in  the  midst 
of  the  hearth2,  praying  me  that  I  would  watch  it  for  him.  He, 
when  he  died,  was  of  such  an  avaricious  disposition,  that  he 

1  Aulularia)  This  word  is  derived  from  the  old  Latin  word  "  aula,"  the  same 
with  the  more  recent  form  "  olla,"  signifying  "a  pot,"  and  whose  diminutive 
was  "  aulula,"  which  had  the  same  signification.  It  will  be  seen  how  conspicuous 
a  part  the  "  aula"  performs  in  the  Play.  Warner  says,  in  a  Note  to  his  Transla- 
tion, that  Moliere  took  a  great  part  of  his  Comedy,  called  L'Avare,  from  this  play 
of  Plautus ;  and  that  there  are  two  English  Comedies  on  the  same  plan,  one  by 
Shadwell,  the  other  by  Fielding,  called  the  Miser. 

2  Midst  of  the  hearth) — Ver.  7.  The  Lares,  or  household  Gods,  were  kept  in  the 
•'lararium,"  which  was  a  recess  near  the  "focus,"  or  "hearth,"  and  in  which 
prayers  were  offered  up  by  the  Romans  on  rising  in  the  morning.  The  hearth  oi 
fireplace  was  in  the  middle  of  the  house,  and  was  sacred  to  the  Lares 


376  AULITLARIA  ;  Act  I. 

would  never  disclose  it  to  his  own  son,  and  preferred  rather  to 
leave  him  in  want  than  to  show  that  treasure  to  that  son.  He 
left  him  no  large  quantity  of  land,  on  which  to  live  with  great 
laboriousness  and  in  wretchedness.  "When  he  died  who  had 
entrusted  that  gold  to  me,  I  began  to  take  notice  whether  Ins 
son  would  any  how  pay  greater  honor  to  me  than  his  father 
had  paid  me.  But  he  was  in  the  habit  of  venerating  me  still 
less  and  less  by  very  much,  and  gave  me  a  still  less  share  of 
devotion.  So  in  return  was  it  done  by  me  ;  and  he  likewise 
ended  his  life.  He  left  this  person  who  now  dwells  here,  his 
son,  of  the  same  disposition  as  his  father  and  grandfather 
were.  He  has  an  only  daughter ;  she  is  always  eveiy  day 
making  offerings  to  me,  either  with  incense,  or  wine,  or  some- 
thing or  other ;  she  presents  me,  too,  with  chaplets.  Out  of 
regard  for  her,  I  have  caused  this  Euclio  to  find  this  treasure, 
in  order  that  he  might  more  readily  give  her  in  marriage  if  he 
should  wish  ;  for  a  young  man  of  very  high  rank  has  ravished 
her ;  this  young  man  knows  who  it  is  that  he  has  ravished ; 
she  knows  him  not,  nor  yet  does  her  father  know  that  she  has 
been  ravished.  This  day  I  shall  cause  the  old  gentleman  here, 
our  neighbour,  to  ask  her  as  his  wife;  that  will  I  do  for  this 
reason,  that  he  may  the  more  easily  marry  her  who  has  ravished 
her.  And  this  old  gentleman  who  shall  ask  her  as  his  wife, 
the  same  is  the  uncle  of  that  young  man  who  debauched  her 
in  the  night  time  at  the  festival  of  Ceres1.  But  this  old  fel- 
low is  now  making  an  uproar  in  the  house,  as  usual ;  he  is 
thrusting  the  old  woman  out  of  doors,  that  she  may  not  be 
privy  to  the  secret.  I  suppose  he  wants  to  look  at  the  gold, 
if  it  be  not  stolen. 

Act  I. — Scene  I. 
Enter  Euclio,  driving  out  Staphyla. 
Etjc.  Get  out,  I  say,  be  off,  get  out ;  by  my  troth,  you 

1  Festival  of  Ceres) — Ver.  36.  He  probably  alludes  to  the  Thesmophoria,  a 
festival  which  was  celebrated  in  honor  of  the  Goddess  Ceres,  and  a  large  portion 
of  the  rites  whereof  were  solemnized  in  the  night  time.  In  general  it  was  cele- 
brated only  by  the  married  women,  though,  as  we  find  in  the  present  instance, 
the  maidens  took  some  part  in  a  portion  of  the  ceremonial.  It  was  said  to  have 
been  celebrated  in  the  night  time  in  commemoration  of  the  search  by  Ceres,  with 
a  torch  in  her  hand,  for  her  daughter  Proserpine,  when  ravished  by  Pluto.  No 
lights  were  used  on  the  occasion,  which  will  account,  in  a  great  measure,  for  th» 
mishap  of  Phaedra  in  the  present  instance,  without  her  knowing  who  was  the 
party  that  had  insulted  her.  See  an  able  article  on  the  Thesmophoria  in  Lr 
liaaith's  Dictionary  of  Antiquities. 


3c  II.        OE,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  377 

must  budge  out  of  this  house  here,  you  pryabout  woman, 
with  your  inquisitive  eyes. 

Staph.  Pray  why  are  you  beating  me,  wretched  creature 
that  I  am  ? 

Euc.  That  you  may  be  wretched,  and  that,  curst  as  you 
are,  you  may  pass  a  curst  life,  well  befitting  you. 

Staph.  But  for  what  reason  have  you  now  pushed  me  out 
of  the  house  ? 

Euc.  Am  I  to  be  giving  you  a  reason,  you  whole  harvest  of 
whips1.  G-et  away  there  from  the  door  !  There,  do  look,  if 
you  please,  how  she  does  creep  along.  But  do  you  know  how 
matters  stand  with  you  ?  If  I  just  now  take  a  stick  or  a 
whip  in  my  hand,  I'll  quicken  that  tortoise  pace  for  you. 

Staph.  0  that  the  Gods  would  drive  me  to  hang  myself, 
rather  indeed  than  that  I  should  be  a  slave  in  your  house 
on  these  terms  ! 

Euc.  Hark  how  the  hag  is  grumbling  to  herself!  By  my 
troth,  you  wretch,  I'll  knock  out  those  eyes  of  yours,  that  you 
mayn't  be  able  to  watch  me,  what  business  I'm  about.  Get 
out  {pushes  her  with  his  hands) — further  yet !  still  further ! 
further  !  There  now,  stand  you  there  !  By  my  faith,  if  you 
budge  a  finger's  breadth,  or  a  nail's  width  from  that  spot,  or 
if  you  look  back  until  I  shall  order  you,  i'  faith,  I'll  give  you 
up  at  once  as  a  trainer  for  the  gibbet.  (Aside.)  I  know  for 
sure  that  I  did  never  see  one  more  accursed  than  this  hag, 
and  I'm  sadly  in  fear  of  her,  lest  she  should  be  cheating  me 
unawares,  or  be  scenting  it  out  where  the  gold  is  concealed,  a 
most  vile  wretch,  who  has  eyes  in  the  back  of  her  head  as  well. 
^'o\v  I'll  go  and  see  whether  the  gold  is  just  as  I  concealed  it, 
that  so  troubles  wretched  me  in  very  many  ways.  {He  goes 
into  his  house.) 

Scene  II. — Staphyla,  alone. 

Staph.  By  heavens,  I  cannot  now  conceive  what  mis 
fortune,  or  what  insanity,  I  am  to  say  has  befallen  my 
master ;  in  such  a  way  does  he  often,  ten  times  in  one  day, 
in  this  fashion  push  wretched  me  out  of  the  house.  I'  faith,  I 
know  not  what  craziness  does  possess  this  man ;  .whole  nights 
is  he  on  the  watch  ;  then,  too,  all  the  day  long  does  he  sit  foT 

1  Harvest  of  whips) — Ver.  6.  "  Stimulorum  seges."  Literally,  "  you  corn-field  ot 
whips."  He  means,  that  he  will  make  her  body  as  full  of  weals  from  whipping 
in  a  covn-field  is  of  ears  of  corn. 


378  AULTJLARIA ;  Act  1, 

whole  days  together  at  home  like  a  lame  cobbler1.  Nor  can 
I  imagine  now  by  what  means  to  conceal  the  disgrace  of  my 
master's  daughter,  whose  lying-in  approaches  near ;  and 
there  isn't  anything  better  for  me,  as  I  fancy,  than  to  make 
one  long  capital  letter2  of  myself,  when  I've  tied  up  my  neck 
in  a  halter. 

Scene  III. — Enter  EucLio,/row  his  house. 

Euc.  (to  himself).  Now,  with  my  mind  at  ease,  at  length 
I  go  out  of  my  house,  after  I've  seen  that  everything  is  safe 
in-doors.  Now  do  you  return  at  once  into  the  house  (to 
Staphyla),  and  keep  watch  in-doors. 

Staph.  Keep  watch  in-doors  upon  nothing  at  all,  forsooth'. 
or  is  it,  that  no  one  may  carry  the  house  away.  For  here  in 
our  house  there's  nothing  else  for  thieves  to  gain,  so  filled  is 
it  with  emptiness3  and  cobwebs. 

Euc.  'Tis  a  wonder  that,  for  your  sake,  Jupiter  doesn't 
now  make  me  a  King  Philip,  or  a  Darius4,  you  hag  of  hags. 
I  choose  those  cobwebs  to  be  watched  for  me.  I  am  poor,  I 
confess  it — I  put  up  with  it.  What  the  Gods  send,  I  endure. 
Gro  in-doors,  shut  to  the  door,  I  shall  be  there  directly.  Take 
you  care  not  to  let  any  strange  person  into  the  house. 

Staph.  What  if  any  person  asks  for  fire  ? 

Euc.  I  wish  it  to  be  put  out,  that  there  may  be  no  cause 
for  any  one  asking  it  of  you.  But  if  the  fire  shall  be  kept 
in,  you  yourself  shall  be  forthwith  extinguished.  Then  do  you 
say  that  the  water  has  run  out5,  if  any  one  asks  for  it. 

1  A  lame  cobbler) — Ver.  34.  Of  course,  lame  people  would  be  the  most  likely  to 
take  to  such  a  sedentary  employment  as  that  of  a  cobbler. 

2  Long  capital  letter) — Ver.  38.  She  means  to  say,  that  she  shall  be  forced  to 
make  a  letter  I  of  herself,  by  hanging  herself.  In  so  saying,  she  not  only  alludes 
to  the  straight  and  perpendicular  form  of  that  letter,  but  to  its  being  especially 
long  in  the  Roman  mode  of  writing.  They  wrote  words  with  the  letter  I  thus: 
^dIlts,  pIso,  IvlIvs,  for  JEdilis,  Piso,  and  Julius. 

3  Filled  is  it  with  emptiness) — Ver.  45.  The  expression,  "  full  of  emptiness,"  is 
intended  as  a  piece  of  wit  on  the  part  of  the  old  woman.  Perhaps  Euclio  would 
not  have  the  spiders  molested,  because  they  were  considered  to  bring  good  luck. 

4  Philip,  or  a  Darius)— Ver.  47.  The  names  of  Philip,  King  of  Macedon,  and 
Darius,  King  of  Persia,  as  powerful  and  wealthy  monarchs,  would  be  likely  to  be 
well  known  to  the  writers  of  the  new  Greek  Comedy,  from  whom  Plautus 
borrowed  most,  if  not  all,  of  his  plays. 

b  Has  run  out) — Ver.  55.  It  is  not  improbable  that  allusion  is  here  made  tc  tin 
supply  of  water  by  pipes  from  the  aaueducts. 


Sc.  III.       OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  -37C 

Staph.  The  knife,  the  hatchet,  the  pestle  and  mortar, 
utensils  that  neighbours  are  always  asking  the  loan  of 

Euc.  Say  that  thieves  have  come  and  carried  them  oli. 
In  fact,  in  my  absence,  I  wish  no  one  to  be  admitted  into  my 
house ;  and  this,  too,  do  I  tell  you  beforehand,  if  Good  Luck 
should  come,  don't  you  admit  her. 

Staph.  1'  faith,  she  takes  good  care,  I  think,  not  to  be  ad- 
mitted ;  for  though  close  at  hand1,  she  has  never  come  to  our 
house. 

Euc.  Hold  your  tongue,  and  go  in-doors. 

Staph.  I'll  hold  my  tongue,  and  be  off. 

Euc.  Shut  the  door,  please,  with  both  bolts.  I  shall  be 
there  directly.  (Staphyla  goes  into  the  house.}  I'm  lor- 
mented  in  my  mind,  because  I  must  go  away  from  my  house  ! 
I'  faith,  I  go  but  very  unwillingly;  but  I  know  full  well  what 
I'm  about ;  for  the  person  that  is  our  master  of  our  ward2  has 
given  notice  that  he  will  distribute  a  didrachm  of  silver  to  each 
man ;  if  I  relinquish  that,  and  don't  ask  for  it,  at  once  I  fancy 
that  all  will  be  suspecting  that  I've  got  gold  at  home ;  for  it 
isn't  very  likely  that  a  poor  man  would  despise  ever  such  a 
trifle,  so  as  not  to  ask  for  his  piece  of  money.  For  as  it  is, 
while  I  am  carefully  concealing  it  from  all,  lest  they  should 
know,  all  seem  to  know  it,  and  all  salute  me  more  civilly  than 
they  formerly  used  to  salute  me ;  they  come  up  to  me,  they 
stop,  they  shake  hands3 ;  they  ask  me  how  I  am,  what  I'm 

1  Close  at  hand) — Ver.  63.  She  seems  to  allude  to  the  fact  of  the  temple  of 
Bona  Fortuna,  or  Good  Luck,  being  in  the  vicinity  of  Euclio's  house. 

2  Master  of  our  ward) — Ver.  68.  The  "  curiae"  at  Rome  were  sub-divisions  of 
the  tribes  originally  made  by  Romulus,  who  divided  the  Ramnes,  Titienses,  and 
Luceres  into  thirty  "curiae."  Each  "curia"  had  its  place  for  meeting  and 
worship,  which  was  also  called  "  curia ;"  and  was  presided  over  by  the  "  Curio," 
who  is  here  called  the  "  Magister  curias,"  or  "  master  of  the  ward."  At  first  the 
Patricians  and  Equites  had  the  sole  influence  in  the  "  curiae,"  and  alone  electee 
the  "  Curiones ;"  but  after  the  year  A.u.c.  544,  the  "  Curio"  was  elected  from  the 
Patricians,  after  which  period  the  political  importance  of  the  "  curiae"  gradually 
declined,  until  they  became  mere  bodies  meeting  for  the  performance  of  religious 
observances.  Plautus  probably  alludes,  in  the  present  instance,  to  a  dole,  or  dis- 
tribution of  money,  made  by  the  Greek  Trittuarch  among  the  poorer  brethren  of 
ins  TpiTTVs,  or  "  tribus ;"  as  in  adapting  a  Greek  play  to  the  taste  of  a  Roman 
audience,  he  very  often  mingles  the  customs  of  the  one  country  with  those  of  the 
other. 

3  They  shake  hands)— Ver.  77.  "  Copulantur  dextras."  Literally,  "  they  ccuple 
right  hands." 


380  ATTLULABIA  ;  Act  11, 

doing,  what  business  I'm  about.  Now  I'll  go  there  whither 
I  had  set  out1  ;  afterwards,  I'll  betake  myself  back  again 
home  as  fast  as  ever  I  can. 

Act  II. — Scene  I. 

Enter  Eunomia  and  MEGADORTTSjyrow  their  house. 

Eun.  I  could  wish  you,  brother,  to  think  that  I  utter  these 
words  by  reason  of  my  own  regard  and  your  welfare,  as  is  be- 
fitting your  own  sister  to  do.  Although  I'm  not  unaware  that 
we  women  are  accounted  troublesome ;  for  we  are  all  of  us 
deservedly  considered  very  talkative,  and,  in  fact,  they  say 
at  the  present  day  that  not  a  single  woman  has  been  found 
dumb2  in  any  age.  Still,  brother,  do  you  consider  this  one 
circumstance,  that  I  am  your  nearest  relation,  and  you  in  like 
manner  are  mine.  How  proper  it  is  that  I  should  counsel  and 
advise  you,  and  you  me,  as  to  what  we  may  judge  for  the  in- 
terest of  each  of  us  ;  and  for  it  not  to  be  kept  concealed  or 
kept  silence  upon  through  apprehension,  but  rather  that  I 
should  make  you  my  confidant,  and  you  me  in  like  manner. 
Eor  that  reason,-  now,  have  I  brought  you  here  apart  out  of 
doors,  that  I  might  here  discourse  with  you  upon  your  private 
concerns. 

Meg.  Best  of  women,  give  me  your  hand.  {Takes  her  hand) 

Eun.  (looking  about).  Where  is  she?  Who,  pray,  is  this 
best  of  women  ? 

Meg.  Yourself.     Eun.  Do  you  say  so  ? 

Meg.  If  you  say  no,  I  say  no. 

Euk.  Indeed,  it's  right  that  the  truth  should  be  spoken; 
for  the  best  of  women  can  nowhere  be  found ;  one  is  onlf) 
worse  than  another,  brother. 

Meg.  I  think  the  same,  and  I'm  determined  never  to  con- 
tradict you  on  that  point,  sister.     What  do  you  wish  ? 

Eun.  Grive  me  your  attention,  I  beg  of  you. 

Meg.  "lis  at  your  service ;  use  and  command  me,  please, 
if  you  wish  for  aught. 

1  Whither  I  had  set  out)— Vex.  79.  "  Nunc  quo  profectus  sumito."  This  is 
rendered,  in  Cotter's  Translation,  "  now  I  will  go  where  I  am  profited!" 

-  Has  been  found  dumb) — Ver.  86.  Not  seeing  the  sarcasm  intended  against  the 
female  sex  in  this  passage,  Lambinus  seriously  takes  the  trouble  to  contradict 
Eunomia;  his  words  are,  "  I  myself,  who  am  at  present  in  my  fifty-sixth  year 
liEve  seen  no  less  than  two  dumb  women." 


Sc.  I.         OE,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASUKE.  381 

Eux.  A  thing  that  I  consider  very  greatly  for  your  advan- 
tage I'm  come  to  recommend  you. 

Meg-.  Sister,  you  are  doing  after  your  usual  manner. 

Etin.  I  wish  it  were  done.     Meg.  "What  is  it,  sister  ? 

Eitn.  That  you  may  enjoy1  everlasting  blessings  in  being 
the  father  of  children. 

Meg.  May  the  Gods  so  grant  it. 

Etjn.  I  wish  you  to  bring  home  a  wife. 

Meg.  Ha !  I'm  undone.     Eun.  How  so  ? 

Meg.  Because,  sister,  your  words  are  knocking  out  the 
brains  of  unfortunate  me;  you  are  speaking  stones2. 

Euisr.  Well,  well,  do  this  that  your  sister  requests  you. 

Meg.  If  she  requests  me,  I  will  do  it. 

Eun.  Tis  for  your  own  interest.  Meg.  Yes,  for  me  to 
die  before  I  marry.  Let  her  who  comes  here  to-morrow,  be 
carried  out3  of  the  house  the  day  after,  sister ;  on  that  con- 
dition, give  me  her  whom  you  wish  to  give ;  get  ready  the 
nuptials. 

Eun.  I  am  able,  brother,  to  provide  you  with  a  wife  with  a 
very  large  marriage-portion.  But  she's  somewhat  aged ;  she's 
of  the  middle-age  of  woman.  If  you  request  me,  brother,  to 
ask  her  for  you,  I'll  ask  her. 

Meg.  "Would  you  like  me  to  ask  you  a  question  ? 

Eitn".  Yes,  if  you  like,  ask  it. 

Meg.  Suppose  any  old  man,  past  mid-age,  brings  home  a 
middle-aged  wife,  if  by  chance  he  should  have  a  child  by  this 
old  woman,  do  you  doubt  at  all  but  that  the  name  of  that 
child  is  Posthumus4,  all  prepared  ?  Now,  sister,  I'll  remove 
and  lessen  this  labour  for  you.     I,  by  the  merits  of  the  Gods 

1  That  you  may  enjoy) — Ver.  105.  "Quod  tibi  sempiternum  salutare  sit." 
This  was  a  formula  frequently  introduced  in  announcing  intelligence,  or  in  making 
a  proposition,  and  was  considered  to  be  significant  of  a  good  omen. 

2  You  are  speaking  stones) — Ver.  110.  So  Shakspeare  says,  in  Hamlet,  Act  III., 
sc.  7,  "  I  will  speak  daggers  to  her,  but  use  none."  Aristophanes  says,  in  one 
of  his  plays,  "  You  have  spoken  roses  to  me." 

3  Be  carried  out) — Ver.  113.  "  Feratur,"  "may  be  carried  out  to  burial." 
"  Fero"  and  "  effero"  have  that  especial  signification.  The  body  was  carried  out 
to  burial  on  a  bier,  which  resembled  a  bed  or  couch. 

4  Is  Posthumus) — Ver.  121.  Children,  who  were  born  after  their  father's  decease, 
were  called  "posthumi,"  a  term  which  is  still  retained.  By  speaking  of  9.n  old 
woman,  "  anus," as  the  mother,  he  seems  also  to  allude  to  the chiuce  of  the  child 
losing  its  mother  as  well,  at  the  moment  of  its  birtb 


882  ATJLTJLAllIA  ;  Act  II 

mid  of  my  forefathers,  am  rich  enough  ;  these  high  families, 
naughty  pride3,  bountiful  portions,  acclamations,  imperious- 
ness,  vehicles  inlaid  with  ivory,  superb  mantles  and  purple, 
I  can't  abide,  things  that  by  their  extravagance  reduce  men 
to  slavery. 

Eun.  Tell  me,  pray,  who  is  she  whom  you  would  like  to 
take  for  a  wife  ? 

Meg.  I'll  tell  you.  Do  you  know  that  Euclio,  the  poor 
old  man  close  by  ? 

Eun.  I  knoAv  him  ;  not  a  bad  sort  of  man,  i'  faith. 

Meg.  I'd  like  his  maiden  daughter  to  be  promised  me 
in  marriage.  Don't  make  any  words2 about  it,  sister;  I  know 
what  yon  are  going  to  say  ;  that  she's  poor.  This  poor  girl 
pleases  me. 

Eun.  May  the  Gods  prosper  it.     Meg.  I  hope  the  same. 

Eun.  What  do  you  want  me  now  for  ?  Do  you  wish  for 
anything  ? 

Meg.  Farewell.  Eun.  And  you  the  same,  brother.  {Goes 
into  the  house.} 

Meg.  I'll  go  meet  Euclio,  if  he's  at  home.  But,  see  !  the 
very  person  is  betaking  himself  home,  whence,  I  know  not. 

Scene  II. — Enter  Euclio. 

Eire,  (to  himself).  My  mind  had  a  presentiment  that  I  was 
going  to  no  purpose  when  I  left  my  house ;  and  therefore  I 
went  unwillingly ;  for  neither  did  any  one  of  the  wardsmen 
come,  nor  yet  the  master  of  the  ward,  who  ought  to  have  dis- 
tributed the  money.  Now  I'm  making  all  haste  to  hasten 
home ;  for  I  myself  am  here,  my  mind's  at  home. 

Meg.  (accosting  him).  May  yon  be  well,  and  ever  for- 
tunate, Euclio ! 

Eire.  May  the  Gods  biess  you,  Megadorus ! 

Meg.  How  are  you  ?    Are  you  quite  well,  and  as  you  wish  ? 

Euc.  (aside).  It  isn't  for  nothing  when  a  rich  man  accosts 

1  Haughty  pride)— Ver.  124.  He  means  to  say,  that  these  evils  are  attendant 
upon  marrying  a  woman  with  a  large  dowry. 

2  Don't  make  any  words) — Ver.  130.  Ben  Jonson  has  imitated  this  passage  ill 
his  Silent  Woman,  Act  I.,  sc.  5 : 

I  know  what  thou  wouldst  say: 

She's  poor,  and  her  friends  deceased. 

She  has  brought  a  wealthy  dowry  in  her  silence. 


Sc.  II.        OH,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASUEE.  383 

a  poor  man  courteously  ;  now  this  fellow  knows  that  I've 
got  some  gold ;  for  that  reason  he  salutes  me  more  cour- 
teously. 

Me'g.  Do  you  say  that  you  are  well  ? 

Euc.  Troth,  I'm  not  very  well  in  the  money  line. 

Meg.  I'  faith,  if  you've  a  contented  mind,  you  have  enouga 
to  passing  a  good  life  with. 

Euc.  (aside).  By  my  faith,  the  old  woman  has  made  a  dis- 
covery to  him  about  the  gold ;  'tis  clear  it's  all  out.  I'll 
cut  off  her  tongue,  and  tear  out  her  eyes,  when  I  get  home. 

Meg.  Why  are  you  talking  to  yourself? 

Euc.  I'm  lamenting  my  poverty ;  I've  a  grown-up  girl 
without  a  portion,  and  one  that  can't  be  disposed  of  in 
marriage  ;  nor  have  I  the  ability  to  marry  her  to  anybody. 

Meg.  Hold  your  peace  ;  be  of  good  courage,  Euclio  :  she 
shall  be  given  in  marriage  ;  you  shall  be  assisted  by  myself. 
Say,  if  you  have  need  of  aught :  command  me. 

Euc.  (aside).  Now  is  he  aiming  at  my  property,  while  he's 
making  promises  ;  he's  gaping  for  my  gold,  that  he  may  de- 
vour it ;  in  the  one  hand  he  is  carrying  a  stone1,  while  he 
shows  the  bread  in  the  other.  I  trust  no  person,  who,  rich 
himself,  is  exceedingly  courteous  to  a  poor  man;  when  he 
extends  his  hand  with  a  kind  air,  then  is  he  loading  you 
with  some  damage.  I  know  these  polypi2,  who,  when  they've 
touched  a  thing,  hold  it  fast. 

1  Carrying  a  stone) — Ver.  152.  "  To  ask  for  bread,  and  to  receive  a  stone," 
was  a  proverbial  expression  with  the  ancients.  Erasmus  says  that  it  was  ap- 
plied to  those  who  pretended  to  be  friendly  to  a  person,  and  at  the  same 
time  were  doing  him  mischief;  and  that  it  was  borrowed  from  persons  enticing  a 
dog  with  a  piece  of  bread,  and,  when  it  had  come  sufficiently  near,  pelting  it 
with  a  stone.  The  expression  is  used  in  the  New  Testament.  "  If  a  son  shall 
ask  bread  of  any  of  you  that  is  a  father,  will  he  give  him  a  stone  ?"  St.  Luke,  c.  xi., 
v.  11.  The  bread,  as  we  learn  from  specimens  found  at  Pompeii,  was  often  made 
into  cakes,  which  somewhat  resembled  large  stones. 

2  These  polypi) — Ver.  155.  Ovid  says  in  his  Halieuticon,  or  Treatise  on  Fishes : 
"  But,  on  the  other  hand,  the.  sluggish  polypus  sticks  to  the  rocks  with  its  body 
provided  with  feelers,  and  by  this  stratagem  it  escapes  the  nets ;  and,  according  to 
the  nature  of  the  spot,  it  assumes  and  changes  its  colour,  always  resembling  that 
place  which  it  has  lighted  upon ;  and  when  it  has  greedily  seized  the  prey  hanging 
from  the  fishing-line,  it  likewise  deceives  the  angler  on  his  raising  the  rod,  when, 
on  emerging  into  the  air,  it  loosens  its  feelers,  and  spits  forth  the  he  ok  that  it  ha? 
despoif  ed  of  the  bait." 


384  AULVLUUA;  Act  II 

Meg.  Give  me  your  attention,  Euclio,  for  a  little  time  :  1 
wish  to  address  you  in  a  few  words,  about  a  common  concern 
of  yours  and  mine. 

Euc.  (aside).  Alas  !  woe  is  me  !  my  gold  has  been  grabbed 
from  in-doors  :  now  he's  wishing  for  this  thing,  I'm  sure, 
to  come  to  a  compromise  with  me  ;  but  I'll  go  look  in  my 
house.     (He  goes  towards  his  door.) 

Meg.  Where  are  you  going?  Euc.  I'll  return  to  you 
directly,  for  there's  something  I  must  go  and  see  to  at  home. 
(He  goes  into  his  house.) 

Meg.  By  my  troth,  I  do  believe  that  when  I  make  men- 
tion of  his  daughter,  for  him  to  promise  her  to  me,  he'll 
suppose  that  he's  being  laughed  at  by  me;  nor  is  there 
out  of  the  whole  class  of  paupers  one  more  beggarly  than 
he.  (Euclio  returns  from  his  house.) 

Euc.  (aside).  The  Gods  do  favour  me;  my  property's  all 
safe.  If  nothing's  lost,  it's  safe.  I  was  very  dreadfully 
afraid,  before  I  went  in-doors  !  I  was  almost  dead  !  (Aloud.) 
I'm  come  back  to  you,  Megadorus,  if  you  wish  to  say  any- 
thing to  trie. 

Meg.  I  return  you  thanks  ;  I  beg  that  as  to  what  I  shall 
enquire  of  you,  you'll  not  hesitate  to  speak  out  boldly. 

Euc.  So  long,  indeed,  as  you  enquire  nothing  that  I  mayn't 
choose  to  speak  out  upon. 

Meg.  Tell  me,  of  what  sort  of  family  do  you  consider  me 
to  be  sprung  ? 

Euc.  Of  a  good  one.  Meg.  What  think  you  as  to  my 
character  ? 

Euc.  'Tis  a  good  one.     Meg.  What  of  my  conduct  ? 

Euc.  Neither  bad  nor  dishonest.  Meg.  Do  you  know 
my  years  ? 

Euc.  1  know  that  they  are  plentiful,  just  like  your 
money. 

Meg.  I'  faith,  for  sure  I  really  did  always  take  you  to 
be  a  citizen  without  any  evil  guile,  and  now  I  think  you 
so. 

.    Euc.   (aside).    He  smells  the  gold.      (Aloud.)    What  do 
you  want  with  me  now  ? 

Meg.  Since  you  know  me,  and  I  know  you,  what  sort  of 
person  you  are — a  thing,  that  may  it  bring  a  blessing  on  my- 


Sc.  II.        OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  385 

self,  and  you  and  your  daughter,  I  ask  your  daughter  as  my 
wife.     Promise  me  that  it  shall  be  so. 

Euc.  Heyday !  Megadorus,  you  are  doing  a  deed  that's 
not  becoming  to  your  usual  actions,  in  laughing  at  me,  a  poor 
man,  and  guiltless  towards  yourself  and  towards  your  family 
For  neither  in  act,  nor  in  words,  have  I  ever  deserved  it  ol 
you,  that  you  should  do  what  you  are  now  doing. 

Meg.  By  my  troth,  I  neither  am  come  to  laugh  at  you, 
nor  am  I  laughing  at  you,  nor  do  I  think  you  deserving 
of  it. 

Euc.  Why  then  do  vou  ask  for  my  daughter  for  your 
self? 

Meg.  That  through  me  it  may  be  better  for  you,  and 
through  you  and  yours  for  me. 

Euc.  This  suggests  itself  to  my  mind,  Megadorus,  that  you 
are  a  wealthy  man,  a  man  of  rank ;  that  I  likewise  am  a  person, 
the  poorest  of  the  poor ;  now,  if  I  should  give  my  daughter  in 
marriage  to  you,  it  suggests  itself  to  my  mind  that  you  are  the 
ox,  and  that  I  am  the  ass;  when  I'm  yoked  to  you,  and  when 
I'm  not  able  to  bear  the  burden  equally  with  yourself,  I,  the 
ass,  must  lie  down  in  the  mire ;  you,  the  ox,  would  regard  me 
no  more  than  if  I  had  never  been  born;  and  I  should  both  find 
you  unjust,  and  my  own  class  would  laugh  at  me  ;  in  neither 
direction  should  I  have  a  fixed  stall,  if  there  should  be  any 
separation1;  the  asses  would  tear  me  with  their  teeth,  the 
oxen  would  butt  at  me  with  their  horns.  This  is  the  great 
hazard,  in  my  passing  over  from  the  asses  to  the  oxen. 

Meg.  The  nearer  you  can  unite  yourself  in  alliance  with 
the  virtuous,  so  much  the  better.  Do  you  receive  this  pro- 
posal, listen  to  me,  and  promise  her  to  me. 

Euc.  But  indeed  there  is  no  marriage-portion. 

Meg.  You  are  to  give  none ;  so  long  as  she  comes  with 
good  principles,  she  is  sufficiently  portioned. 

Euc.  I  say  so  for  this  reason,  that  you  mayn't  be  sup- 
posing that  I  have  found  any  treasures. 

1  Be  any  separation)— Ver.  190.  "  Si  quid  divortii  fuat."  By  the  use  of  the 
word  "  divortium,"  he  means  either  an  estrangement  of  himse.f  from  Megadorus, 
or  a  separation  or  divorce  of  the  latter  from  his  intended  wife,  which  of  course 
would  lead  to  the  same  consequences.  The  facilities  for  divorce  among  the'Komar* 
have  be>n  remarked  upon  hi  a  previous  Note. 


380  AULULARIA ;  Act  II. 

Meg.  I  know  that ;  don't  enlarge  upon  it.  Promise  her 
to  me. 

Euc.  So  be  it.  (Starts  and  looks  about.)  But,  0  Jupi- 
ter, am  I  not  utterly  undone  ? 

Meg.  What's  the  matter  with  you  ? 

Euc.  What  was  it  sounded  just  now  as  though  it  were  iron  ? 

Meg.  Here  at  my  place,  I  ordered  them  to  dig  up  the 
garden.  (Eucno  runs  off  into  Ms  house.)  But  where  is  this 
man  ?  He's  off,  and  he  hasn't  fully  answered  me ;  he  treats 
me  with  contempt.  Because  he  sees  that  I  wish  for  his  friend- 
ship, he  acts  after  the  mauner  of  mankind.  Eor  if  a  wealthy 
person  goes  to  ask  a  favour  of  a  poorer  one,  the  poor  man  is 
afraid  to  treat  with  him  ;  through  his  apprehension  he  hurts 
his  own  interest.  The  same  person,  when  this  opportunity  is 
lost,  too  late,  then  wishes  for  it. 

Euc.  {coming  out  of  the  house,  addressing  Staphyl4 
within) .  By  the  powers,  if  I  don't  give  you  up  to  have  your 
tongue  cut  out  by  the  roots,  I  order  and  I  authorize  you 
to  hand  me  over  to  any  one  you  please  to  be  incapacitated. 

Meg.  By  my  troth,  Euclio,  I  perceive  that  you  consider 
me  a  fit  man  for  you  to  make  sport  of  in  my  old  age,  for  no 
deserts  of  my  own. 

Euc.  I'  faith,  Megadorus,  I  am  not  doing  so,  nor,  should  I 
desire  it,  had  I  the  means1. 

Meg.  How  now  ?  Do  you  then  betroth  your  daughter  to 
me  ? 

Euc.  On  those  terms,  and  with  that  portion  which  I  men 
tioned  to  you. 

.     Meg.   Do  you  promise  her  then  ?     Euc.  I  do  promise 
her. 

Meg.  May  the  Gods  bestow  their  blessings,  on  it. 

Euc.  May  the  Gods  so  do.  Take  you  care  of  this,  and 
remember  that  we've  agreed,  that  my  daughter  is  not  to 
bring  you  any  portion. 

1  Had  I  the  means) — Ver.  210.  "  Neque,  si  cupiam,  copia  est."  In  saying  this, 
Kuclio  intends  to  play  upon  the  words  of  Megadorus,  "  ludos  facias,"  which  may 
either  signify  "  you  make  sport  of  me,"  or  "  you  give  a  public  show"  or  "  spec- 
tacle," which  the  wealthy  Patricians  of  Rome  were  in  the  habit  of  doing.  Euclio 
pretends  to  take  his  words  in  the  latter  sense,  and  replies,  "  I  couldn't  even  if  I 
would,"  by  reason  of  his  poverty,  as  he  pretends.  It  was  usual  for  the  iEdiles  to 
provide  the  spectacles  from  their  private  resources,  from  winch  circumstance  one 
who  lived  a  life  of  extravagance  was  said  "  ^Edilitatem  petere,"  "  to  be  aspiring 
to  the  &dileship." 


BC.  111.      OB  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  3S7 

Meg.  I  remember  it.  Euc.  But  I  understand  in  what 
fashion  you,  of  your  class,  are  wont  to  equivocate  ;  an  agree* 
ment  is  no  agreement,  no  agreement  is  an  agreement,  just 
as  it  pleases  you. 

Meg.  I'll  have  no  misunderstanding  with  you.  But  what 
reason  is  there  why  we  shouldn't  have  the  nuptials  this 
day  ? 

Ere.  "Why,  by  my  troth,  there  is  very  good  reason  for  them, 
'  Meg.  I'll  go,  then,  and  prepare  matters.  Do  you  want 
me  in  any  way  ? 

Euc.  That  shall  be  done.     Tare  you  well. 

Meg.  {going  to  the  door  of  his  house  and  calling  out). 
Hallo  !  Strobilus,  follow  me  quickly,  in  all  haste,  to  the  flesh- 
market.  {Exit  Megadorus. 

Euc.  He  has  gone  hence.  Immortal  Gods,  I  do  beseech 
you !  How  powerful  is  gold !  I  do  believe,  now,  that  he  has 
had  some  intimation  that  I've  got  a  treasure  at  home ;  he's 
gaping  for  that ;  for  the  sake  of  that  has  he  persisted  in  this 
alliance. 

Scene  III. — Euclio,  alone. 

Euc.  {going  to  the  door  of  his  house,  he  opens  it,  and  calls 
to  Staphtla  within).  "Where  are  you  who  have  now  been 
blabbing  to  all  my  neighbours  that  I'm  going  to  give  a  por- 
tion to  my  daughter  ?  Hallo  !  Staphyla,  I'm  calling  you  ! 
Don't  you  hear  ?  Make  haste  in-doors  there,  and  wash  the 
vessels  clean.  I've  promised  my  daughter  in  marriage ;  to- 
day I  shall  give  her  to  be  married  to  Megadorus  here. 

Enter  Staphtla,  from  the  house. 

Staph,  {as  she  enters).  May  the  G-ods  bestow  their  bless- 
ings on  it !     But,  i'  faith,  it  cannot  be ;  'tis  too  sudden. 

Euc.  Hold  your  tongue,  and  be  off.  Take  care  that  things 
are  ready  when  I  return  home  from  the  Forum,  and  shut  the 
house  up.     I  shall  be  here  directly.  {Exit. 

Staph.  "What  now  am  I  to  do  ?  Now  is  ruin  near  at  hand 
for  us,  both  for  myself  and  my  master's  daughter ;  for  her 
disgrace  and  her  delivery  are  upon  the  very  point  of  becoming 
known  ;  that  which  even  until  now  has  been  concealed  and 
kept  secret,  cannot  be  so  now.  I'll  go  in-doors,  that  what  my 
2c2 


388  atjlularia;  Act  III. 

master  ordered  may  be  done  when  he  comes.  But,  by  my 
faith,  I  do  fear  that  1  shall  have  to  drink  of  a  mixture  of 
bitterness1 !  {Exit. 

Act  III. — Scene  I. 

Enter  Strobiltjs,  Anthrax,  and  Congrio,  with  Music- 
Girls,  and  Persons  carrying  provisions. 

Stro.  After  my  master  had  bought  the  provisions,  and 
hired  the  cooks2  and  these  music-girls  in  the  market-place,  he 
ordered  me  to  divide  these  provisions  into  two  parts. 

Con.  By  my  troth,  but  you  really  shan't  be  dividing  me8, 1 
tell  you  plainly.  If  you  wish  me  to  go  anywhere  whole,  I'll 
do  my  best. 

Anth.  A  very  pretty  and  modest  fellow,  indeed4.  As  if, 
when  you  are  a  conger  by  name,  you  wouldn't  like  to  be  cut 
into  pieces. 

Con.  But,  Anthrax,  I  said  that  in  another  sense,  and  not 
in  the  one  which  you  are  pretending. 

Stro.  Now  my  master's  going  to  be  married  to-day. 

Anth.  Whose  daughter  is  he  to  marry  ?  Stro.  The 
daughter  of  this  Euclio,  his  near  neighbour  here.  For  that 
reason  he  has  ordered  half  of  these  provisions  here  to  be  pre- 
sented to  him — one  cook,  and  one  music-girl  likewise. 

Anth.  That  is,  you  take  one  half  to  him,  the  other  half 
home  ? 

1  A  mixture  of  bitterness) — Ver.  235.  Hildyard  suggests  that  Staphyla  is  fond 
cf  a  drop,  and  likes  her  liquors  neat  ("  merum  "),  wherefore  it  is  a  double  misfor- 
tune to  her,  not  only  to  endure  misfortunes,  but  those  of  a  "  mixed"  nature. 
"  Mixtum"  was  the  term  applied  to  the  wine,  when  mixed  with  its  due  proportion 
of  water  for  drinking. 

-  Hired  the  cooks) — Ver.  236.  Allusion  has  been  made,  in  the  Notes  to  the 
Pseudolus,  to  the  custom  of  hiring  cooks  in  the  markets  on  any  special  occasion. 
These  were  frequently  slaves ;  and  in  such  case,  the  greater  portion  of  their 
earnings  would  go  into  the  pockets  of  their  masters.  From  the  remark  made . 
Ui  1.  265,  we  find  that  Congrio  and  Anthrax  are  slaves. 

3  You  really  shan't  be  dividing  me) — Ver.  239.  He  alludes  to  his  own  name, 
"  Congrio,"  "  a  conger  eel,"  which  was  cut  up  before  it  was  cooked ;  and  he  means 
to  say,  that  spite  of  his  name,  he  will  not  stand  being  divided  by  Strobilus. 

4  Modest  fellow,  indeed) — Ver.  241.  Anthrax  gives  a  very  indelicate  turn  to 
the  remark  of  Congrio;  and  the  liberty  has  been  taken  of  giving  a  more  harm- 
less form  to  the  gross  witticism  of  Anthrax.  It  may  be  here  remarked,  that  he 
takes  his  name  from  the  Greek  word,  signifying  "  a  coal,"  a  commodity,  of 
course,  much  in  request  with  cooks. 


Sc.  I.  OR,  TIIE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  3S9 

Stro.  Tis  just  as  you  say.  A  nth.  How's  that  ?  Couldn't 
tins  old  fellow  provide  from  his  own  resources  for  the  wedding 
of  his  daughter. 

Stro.  Pshaw!     Anth.  What's  the  matter  ? 

Stro.  What's  the  matter,  do  you  ask  ?  A  pumice  stone 
isn't  so  dry  as  is  this  old  fellow. 

Anth.  Do  you  really  say  that  it  is  as  you  affirm  ? 

Stro.  Do  be  judge  yourself.  Why,  he's  for  ever  crying 
out  for  aid  from  Grods  and  men,  that  his  property  has  gone, 
and  that  he  is  ruined  root  and  branch,  if  the  smoke  by  chance 
escapes  out  of  doors  through  the  rafters  of  his  house.  Why, 
when  he  goes  to  sleep,  he  ties  a  bag1  beneath  his  gullet. 

Anth.  Why  so  ?  Stro.  That  when  he  sleeps,  he  may  lose 
no  breath. 

Anth.  And  does  he  stop  up  the  lower  part  of  his  wind- 
pipe2 as  well,  lest,  perchance,  he  should  lose  any  breath  as  he 
sleeps  ? 

Stro.  In  that  'tis  as  fair  that  you  should  credit  me,  as  it  is 
for  me  to  credit  you. 

Anth.  Why  really,  I  do  believe  you. 

Stro.  But,  further,  do  you  know  how  it  is  ?  I'  faith,  he 
grieves  to  throw  away  the  water  when  he  washes. 

Anth.  Do  you  think  a  great  talent3  might  be  begged  of 
this  old  fellow  for  him  to  give  us,  through  which  we  might  be- 
come free  ? 

Stro.  By  my  troth,  if  you  were  to  ask  it,  he  would  never 
let  you  have  the  loan  of  hunger.  Why,  the  other  day,  the 
barber  had  cut  his  nails4 ;  he  collected  all  the  parings,  and 
carried  them  off. 

1  He  ties  a  bag) — Ver.  257.  He  probably  intends  to  hint  here  that  Euclio  sleeps 
with  his  purse  (which  consisted  of  a  "  follis,"  or  "  leathern  bag  ")  tied  round  his 
throat,  but  implies  that  he  not  only  wishes  thereby  to  save  his  money,  but  his 
breath  as  well,  by  having  the  mouth  of  the  bag  so  near  to  his  own.  Although 
Thornton  thinks  that  the  suggestion  of  Lambinus  that  "  follem  obstringit"  means, 
u  he  ties  up  the  nozzle  of  the  bellows,"  is  forced  and  far-fetched,  it  is  far  from  im- 
probable that  that  is  the  meaning  of  the  passage.  It  may  possibly  mean  that  he 
ties  the  bellows  to  his  throat. 

2  Part  of  his  windpipe) — Ver.  260.  An  indelicate  remark  is  here  made,  which 
has  been  obviated  in  the  translation. 

3  A  great  talent) — Ver.  264.  As  the  ancients  weighed  silver  on  paying  a  talent, 
the  word  "  talentum"  denoted  both  a  sum  of  money  and  a  weight.  The  great 
talent  here  mentioned,  was  the  Attic  talent  of  sixty  minae,  or  six  thousand 
drachmae. 

*  Had  cut  his  nails) — Ver  267.  From  this  passage  we  learn  that  barbefa  were 


390  aululajua;  Ate  III. 

Anth.  I'  faith,  you  do  describe  a  miserably  stingy  wretch. 

Cox.  But  do  you  think  that  he  does  live  so  very  stingily 
'ind  wretchedly  ? 

Steo.  A  kite,  the  other  day,  carried  off  his  morsel  of  food ; 
the  fellow  went  crying  to  the  Prsetor1 ;  there,  weeping  and 
lamenting,  he  began  to  request  that  he  might  be  allowed  to 
compel  the  kite  to  give  bail.  There  are  innumerable  other 
tilings  that  I  could  mention,  if  I  had  the  leisure.  But  which 
of  you  two  is  the  sharper  ?     Tell  me. 

Con.  I — as  being  much  the  better  one.  Stro.  A  cook  I. 
ask  for,  not  a  thief2. 

Con.  As  a  cook,  I  mean.  Steo.  (to  Anthrax).  "What  do 
you  say  ? 

Anth.  I'm  just  as  you  see  me. 


in  the  habit  of  paring  the  nails  of  their  customers ;  in  the  Epistles  of  Horace, 
B.  1,  Ep.  7,  1.  50,  we  are  informed  that  idlers  pared  their  nails  in  the  barber's 
&liops  of  Rome. 

1  To  the  Prcetor) — Ver.  272.  The  "  Praetor  "  was  a  magistrate  at  Rome,  who 
administered  justice,  and  ranked  next  to  the  Consuls.  There  were  eight  Praetors 
in  the  time  of  Cicero.  Two  of  them  were  employed  in  adjudicating  "  in  causis 
privatis,"  "  disputes  concerning  private  property."  One  of  these  was  called 
'•  Prastor  urbanus,"  or  "the  city  Praator,"  who  administered  justice  when  the  parties 
were  "  cives,"  or  possessed  the  lights  of  Roman  citizenship.  The  other  was  called 
"  Praetor  peregrinus,"  or  "  the  foreigners'  Praetor,"  who  administered  justice  when 
both  the  litigating  parties,  or  only  one  of  them,  were  "  peregrini,"  or  "  foreigners," 
and  had  not  the  right  of  Roman  citizenship.  The  other  six  Praetors  had  juris- 
diction in  criminal  cases,  such  as  murder,  adultery,  and  violence.  The  Praetors 
committed  the  examination  of  causes  to  subordinate  judges,  who  were  called 
"judices  selecti,"  and  they  published  the  sentences  of  the  judges  so  appointed  by 
them.  The  Praetors  wore  the  "  toga  praetexta,"  or  "  magisterial  robe,"  sat  on  the 
"  sella  curulis,"  and  were  preceded  by  six  lictors.  Their  duties  lasted  for  a  year, 
after  which  they  went  as  governors  to  such  provinces  as  had  no  army,  which  were 
assigned  to  them  by  lot.  There  they  administered  justice  in  the  same  way  as 
they  had  done  as  Praetors  at  Rome,  and  were  called  by  the  name  of  "  Propraetores ;" 
though,  as  such  governors,  they  were  also  sometimes  called  "  Praetores."  The 
office  of  Praetor  was  first  instituted  at  Rome  A.U.C.  388,  partly  because  the  Consuls, 
on  account  of  the  many  wars  in  which  the  Romans  were  engaged,  could  no  longer 
administer  justice ;  partly  that  the  Patricians  might  thereby  have  a  compensation 
for  admitting  the  Plebeians  to  a  share  in  the  Consulate.  At  first  there  was  only 
one  Praetor ;  Sylla  made  their  number  six ;  Julius  Caesar  eight ;  and  Augustus 
increased  them  to  sixteen.  It  will  not  escape  observation,  that  Plautus,  as  usual, 
mentions  a  Roman  officer  in  a  Play,  the  scene  of  which  is  supposed  tc  be 
Athens. 

2  Not  a  thief) — Ver.  277.  Because  "  celer,"  "  sharp"  or  "  nimble,"  v/ouij 
especially  apply  to  the  requisite  qi.  >lifications  for  an  expert  thief. 


Sc.  I.  OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  3(K 

Con.  He's  a  nine-day  cook1 ;  every  ninth  day  he's  in  the 
habit  of  going  out  to  cook. 

Anth.  You,  you  three-lettered  fellow2;  do  you  abuse  me, 
you  thief  ? 

Con.  To  be  sure  I  do,  you  trebly-distilled  thief  of  thieves3. 

Stro.  Now  do  you  hold  your  tongue  for  the  present, 
and,  that  lamb,  whichever  is  the  fatter  of  the  two 

Con.  Very  well4.  Stro.  Do  you,  Congrio,  take  that,  and 
go  in-doors  there  (pointing  to  Euclio's  house)  ;  and  (to  a 
Music-Grisii  and  some  of  the  People  with  provisions)  do  you 
follow  him ;  the  rest  of  you  this  way,  to  our  house. 

Con.  By  my  troth,  you've  made  an  unfair  division ;  they've 
got  the  fattest  lamb. 

Stro.  But  the  fattest  music-girl  shall  be  given  you  then. 
Do  you,  therefore,  go  along  with  him,  Phrygia5.  And  do 
you,  Eleusium,  step  in-doors  here,  to  our  house. 

1  A  nine-day  cook) — Ver.  279.  Congrio  probably  means  to  say  that  Anthrax  is  a 
cook  who  only  gets  employment  on  the  "  Nundinal,"  when  the  influx  of  country- 
people  into  the  city  called  the  services  of  even  the  worst  cooks  into  requisition, 
and  the  eaters  were  not  of  the  most  fastidious  description.  The  "  Nundina/'  (so 
called  from  "  nonae,"  "  ninth,"  and  "  dies,"  "  day")  returned  every  eighth  day, 
according  to  our  mode  of  reckoning ;  but  according  to  the  Romans,  who,  in  count- 
ing, reckoned  both  extreme*  every  ninth  day,  whence  the  name.  On  this  day  the 
country-people  came  into  the  city  to  sell  their  wares,  make  their  purchases,  hear 
the  new  laws  read,  and  learn  the  news.  By  the  Hortensian  law,  the  "  Nundina>," 
which  before  were  only  "  feria±,"  or  "holidays,"  were  made  "  fasti,"  or  "court- 
days,"  that  the  country-people  then  in  town  might  have  their  lawsuits  deter- 
mined. Lipsius  thinks  that  reference  is  here  made  to  the  feast  called  "  noven- 
diale,"  which  was  sometimes  given  to  the  poorer  classes  on  the  ninth  day  after  the 
funeral  of  a  person  of  affluence.  Probably,  the  cooking  of  these  banquets  was  not 
of  the  highest  order;  but  the  former  seems  the  more  probable  explanation  of  ths 
passage. 

2  Three-lettered  fellow) — Ver.  280.  "  Trium  literarum  homo ;"  literally,  "  man 
of  three  letters"— "F  U  R,"  "thief." 

3  Thief  of  'thieves)— -Ver.  281.  "  Fur  trifurcifer."  Strictly  speaking,  the  latter 
word  signifies  "  thief  three  times  over.' 

4  Very  well) — Ver.  283.  Congrio  answers  "  licet,"  by  way  of  assent  to  Stro- 
bilus,  thinking  that  he  is  asking  him  to  take  the  fattest  lamb,  on  which  Stro- 
bilus  gives  him  the  leanest  one.  Hildyard  suggests  that  Congrio  fancies  that 
Strobilus  is  asking  which  is  the  fattest  cook,  and  not  the  fattest  lamb,  and  ac- 
cordingly says,  "  Very  well,"  thereby  admitting  that  he  is  the  fattest  of  the  two. 
If  there  is  any  such  wit  intended  in  the  passage,  it  is  very  recondite. 

5  Phrygia) — Ver.  287.  "  Phrygia"  was  an  appropriate  girl  for  a  "  tibicina," 
music-girl,"  or  female  player  on  the  flute,  as  that  instrument  was  originally 

introduced  from  Phrygia,  or  Lydia,  which  adjoined  it.     Eleusium  would  ptobabll 


392  AULULAEIA ;  Act  IIL 

Con.  O  you  crafty  Strobilus,  have  you  pushed  me  off  here 
upon  this  most  miserly  old  fellow,  where  if  I  ask  for  anything, 
I  may  ask  even  to  hoarseness  before  anything's  found  me  ? 

Stko.  'Tis  very  foolish,  and  'tis  thanklessly  done,  to  do  a 
Bervice  to  you,  when  what  you  do  goes  for  nothing. 

Con.  But  how  so?  Steo.  1)o  you  ask?  In  the  first 
place  then,  there  will  be  no  confusion  for  you  there  in  the 
house  ;  if  you  want  anything  to  use,  bring  it  from  your  own 
home,  don't  lose  your  trouble  in  asking  for  it.  But  here, 
at  our  house,  there's  great  confusion,  and  a  large  establish- 
ment— furniture,  gold,  garments,  silver  vessels.  If  any- 
thing's lost  here  (as  I  know  that  you  can  easily1  keep 
hands  off — if  nothing's  in  your  way),  they  may  say,  "  The 
cooks  have  stolen  it ;  seize  them,  bind  them/  beat  them, 
thrust  them  in  the  dungeon"2.  Nothing  of  that  sort  will 
happen  to  you,  inasmuch  as  there  will  be  nothing  for  you  ta 
steal.     Follow  me  this  way. 

Con.  I  follow. 

Steo.  (knocking  at  the  door  of  Euclio's  house).  Ho,  there ! 
Staphyla,  come  out  and  open  the  door. 

Staph,  (from  within).  Who  calls  there?  Steo.  Strobilus. 
Scene  II. — Enter  Staphyla. 

Staph.  "What  do  you  want  ?  Steo.  Eor  you  to  take  in 
these  cooks,  and  this  music-girl,  and  these  provisions  for  tr^e 
wedding.     Megadorus  bade  me  take  these  things  to  Euclio. 

Staph.  Are  you  about  to  make  this  wedding,  Strobilus,  in 
honor  of  Ceres3  ? 

derive  her  name  from  Eleusis  in  Attica,  where  the  mysteries  of  Ceres  were  cele- 
brated. Players  on  the  "  tibise"  were  much  in  request  on  festive  occasions,  espe- 
cially at  weddings,  as  in  the  present  instance.  The  "  tibicinae"  were  probably 
hired  in  the  rriarket-place,  the  same  way  as  the  cooks. 

1  You  can  easily)— Ver.  299.  "  Facile,"  "  easily,"  seems  a  preferable  reading  to 
"  facere."  If  the  latter  reading  is  adopted,  there  are  three  consecutive  verbs  in  the 
infinitive  mood,  which,  even  in  the  (occasionally)  uncouth  language  of  Plautus, 
sounds  very  uneuphoniously,  "  Facere  abstinere  posse." 

2  In  the  dungeon) — Ver.  301.  "  Puteus"  here  signifies  the  black  hole  or  dun- 
geon underground  (called  also  "  ergastulum"),  where  the  refractory  slaves  were 
put  in  confinement. 

3  In  Honor  of  Ceres) — Ver.  309.  The  old  woman  probably  alludes  to  the 
Thesmophoria,  where  abstinence  from  wine  was  especially  practised,  and  which 
were  celebrated  in  a  state  of  fasting  and  purification.  Her  question  here  tends  tJ 
confirm  the  suspicion  that  she  was  more  fond  of  the  "  merum"  than  the  "  mixtum," 
reference  to  which  has  already  been  made. 


Sc.  IV.        OR.  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  303 

Stro.  Why  ?    Staph.  Because  I  don't  see  any  wine  brought. 

Stro.  "Why,  that  will  be  brought  just  now,  when  he  him  sell 
comes  back  from  the  market. 

Staph.  There's. no  firewood  here  in  our  house. 

Con.  There  are  the  beams.     Staph.  I'  faith,  there  are. 

Cow.  There  is  wood,  then ;  don't  you  be  seeking  it  out  of 
doors. 

Staph.  What,  you  unpurified /eZZW,  although  your  busi- 
ness is  with  the  fire,  for  the  sake  of  a  dinner,  or  of  your  own 
hire,  do  you  request  us  to  set  our  house  on  fire  ? 

Con.  I  don't  ask  you.     Stro.  Take  them  in-doors. 

Staph.  Follow  me.  {They  follow  hen 'in-doors,  and  Stro- 
bilus  goes  with  the  others  into  the  house  o/'Megadorus.) 

Scene  III. — Enter  PxTHODicus,/row  the  house  of 
Megadorus. 
Ptth.  Mind  you  your  business  ;  I'll  step  in  and  see  what 
the  cooks  are  doing,  to  observe  whom,  i'  faith,  to-day  it  is  a 
most  laborious  task.  Unless  I  manage  this  one  thing,  for  them 
to  cook  the  dinner  down  in  the  dungeon2;  thence,  when  cooked, 
we  might  bring  it  up  again  in  small  baskets.  But  if  they 
should  eat  below3  whatever  they  should  cook,those  above  would 
go  without  their  dinner,  and  those  below  have  dined:  But 
here  am  I  chattering,  as  though  I  had  no  business,  when  there's 
such  a  pack  of  thieves  in  the  house.     (  Goes  into  the  house.) 

Scene  IV. — Enter  Etjclio,  with  some  chaplets  of  flowers  in 
his  hand. 
Ere.  I  wished  at  length  to  screw  up  my  courage  to-day, 
so  as  to  enjoy  myself  at  the  wedding  of  my  daughter.  I 
come  to  the  market,  I  enquire  about  fish ;  they  tell  me  that 
it  is  dear,  that  lamb  is  dear,  beef  is  dear,  veal,  large  fish4, 

1  You  unpurified  fellow)— Ver.  313.  "Impurate."  '  You  that  are  unpurified, 
in  spite  of  your  everlastingly  stewing  over  the  fire."  She  alludes,  figuratively,  tc 
the  process  of  smelting  and  purifying  metals  by  the  action  of  fire. 

2  In  the  dungeon)— Ver.  319 .  By  the  use  of  the  word  "  puteus"  he  may  possibly 
mean  the  black  hole  or  dungeon  alluded  to  in  1.  301,  whence  there  was  no 
means  of  egress  but  by  being  drawn  up.  He  means  to  say  that  such  a  place  will  be 
the  only  one  for  preventing  the  cooks  from  thieving  whatever  comes  in  their  way. 
The  thievish  propensities  of  the  hired  cooks  are  also  referred  to  in  the  Pseudolus. 

*  Should  eat  below)— Ver.  321.  He  reflects  that  if  they  are  put  in  the  "  puteus" 
to  prevent  their  thieving,  they  may  possibly  revenge  themselves  by  eating  up  the 
victuals  as  fast  as  they  cook  it. 

*  Large  jish)— Ver.  329.  "  Cetus"  or  "  cete"  Droperly  signifies  fish  of  th* 


394  aulflaria  ;  Act  IIL 

and  pork,  all  of  them  are  dear.  And  for  this  reason  were  they 
still  dearer ;  I  hadn't  the  money.  I  came  away  thence  in 
a  rage,  since  I  had  nothing  wherewithal  to  make  a  purchase ; 
and  thus  did  I  baulk1  all  those  rascals.  Then  I  began  to 
think  with  myself  upon  the  road,  "  If  you  are  guilty  of  any 
extravagance  on  a  festive  day,  you  may  be  wanting  on  a 
common  day,  unless  you  are  saving."  After  I  disclosed  this 
reasoning  to  my  heart  and  appetite,  my  mind  came  over  to 
my  opinion,  that  I  ought  to  give  my  daughter  in  marriage  at 
as  little  expense  as  possible.  Now  I've  bought  a  bit  of 
frankincense,  and  these  chaplets  of  flowers ;  these  shall  be 
placed  upon  the  hearth  for  our  household  God,  that  he  may 
grant   a   propitious  marriage  to  my  daughter.     But  what 

do  I ?     Do  I  behold  my  house 'open?     There's  a  noise, 

too,  within ;  is  it  that  I'm  robbed,  wretch  that  I  am  ? 

C<m  (speaking  within  the  house).  Seek  of  the  neighbours  a 
bigger  pot2  if  you  can;  this  one's  too  little,  it  can't  hold  it. 

Euc.  Woe  to  me  !  By  my  faith,  I'm  a  dead  man  ;  the  gold's 
being  carried  oif — my  pot's  being  looked  for.  I  am  certainly 
murdered,  unless  I  make  haste  to  run  with  all  haste  in- 
doors here !  Apollo,  prithee  do  assist  and  help  me,  whom 
thou  hast  already,  before  this,  helped  in  such  circumstances. 
Pierce  with  thine  arrows  the  plunderers  of  my  treasures.  But 
am  I  delaying  to  run,  before  I  perish  outright.  (He  runs 
into  his  house.) 

Scene  V. — Enter  Anthrax,  from  the  house  of  MegadoRtts. 

Anth.  (speaking  to  some  within) .  Dromo,  do  you  scale  the 
fish.  Do  you,  Machserio,  have  the  conger  and  the  lamprey 
boned.      I'm   going   to   ask   the   loan  of  a   baking-pan  of 

•whale  or  dolphin  kind ;  it  perhaps  means  here  simply  the  larger  and  coarser  fish 
in  use  among  the  Romans,  like  plaice  or  codfish  with  us.  He  probably  would  no4, 
ask  the  price  of  "  pisciculi,"  or  "  small  fish,"  as  their  dearoess  would  terrify  him 
out  of  his  wits. 

1  Did  I  baulk)— Ver.  332.  "  Manum  adire"  probably  signified  "  to  kiss  the 
hand"  to  a  person  when  expecting  something  more  than  that,  and  thereby  "  to  make  ■ 
a  fool  of  him."     He  asked  the  prices  of  all  the  commodities,  and  probably  chaffered 
about  them,  then  kissed  his  hand  to  the  dealers,  and  left  the  market  without  pur-  i 
chasing.     Some  think  it  alludes  to  a  feint  or  baulk  made  in  wrestling. 

2  A  bigger  pot) — Ver.  344.  Congrio  is  bawling  out  within  doors  for  a  bigger  , 
'  aula,"  "  pot"  or  "jar,"  to  be  brought  for  his  cooking,  on  which  the  old  huncki 

thinks  that  some  thieves  have  discovered  his  own  dear  "  aula." 


Sc.  VII.  OE,  THE  CONCEALED  TEEASTTEE.  395 

our  neighbour  Congrio,  Tou,  if  you  are  wise,  will  have  that 
capon  more  smoothly  picked  for  me  than  is  a  plucked  play- 
actor1. But  what's  this  clamour  that's  arising  here  hard 
by  ?  By  my  faith,  the  cooks,  I  do  believe,  are  at  their  usual 
pranks3.  I'll  run  iu-doors,  lest  there  may  be  any  disturbance 
here  for  me  as  well.    (Retreats  into  the  house  of  Megadoeus.) 

Scene  VI. — Enter  Congeio,  in  haste,  from  the  house  of 
Euclio. 

Con.  (roaring  out).  Beloved  fellow-citizens,  fellow-country- 
men, inhabitants,  neighbours,  and  all  strangers,  do  make  way" 
for  me  to  escape !  Make  all  the  streets  clear !  Never  have  1 
at  any  time,  until  this  day,  come  to  Bacchants3,  in  a  Baccha- 
nalian den,  to  cook ;  so  sadly  have  they  mauled  wretched  me 
and  my  scullions  with  their  sticks.  I'm  aching  all  over,  and 
am  utterly  done  for ;  that  old  fellow  has  so  made  a  bruising 
school4  of  me ;  and  in  such  a  fashion  has  he  turned  us  all  out 
of  the  house,  myself  and  them,  laden  with  sticks.  Nowhere, 
in  all  the  world,  have  I  ever  seen  wood  dealt  out  more  plen- 
tifully. Alackaday!  by  my  faith,  to  my  misery,  I'm  done 
for ;  the  Bacchanalian  den  is  opening,  here  he  comes.  He's 
following  us.  I  know  the  thing  I'll  glo:  that  the  master 
himself5  has  taught  me. 

Scene  VII. — Enter  'Etjcjao,  from  his  house,  driving  the 

Cooks  and  the  Music-G-iel  before  him. 
Euc.  (calling  out,  while  Congeio  and  the  others  are  run- 

1  A  plucked  play-actor)— Ver.  356.  The  actors,  having  to  perform  the  parts  of 
women  and  beardless  youths,  were  obliged  to  remove  superfluous  hair  from  the 
face,  which  was  effected  "  vellendo,"  "  by  plucking  it  out,"  whence  the  term 
"  volsus." 

2  At  their  usual  pranks) — Ver.  358.  "  Faciunt  officium  suum."  Literally, 
"are  doing  their  duty."  He  says  this  ironically;  on  hearing  the  row  going  on  in 
Euclio's  house,  he  supposes  that  the  cooks  are  up  to  their  old  tricks  of  thieving 
and  wrangling. 

3  To  Bacchants) — Ver.  362.  The  Bacchants,  or  frantic  female  worshippers  of 
Bacchus,  with  their  rites,  have  been  alluded  to  in  a  Note  at  the  commencement  of 
the  Bacchides. 

4  A  bruising  school) — Ver.  364.  Literally,  "  a  Gymnasium."  The  Gymnasium 
was  the  place  where  vigorous  exercise  was  taken ;  so  Congrio  means  to  say  that 
Euclio  has  been  taking  exercise  in  basting  his  back. 

5  The  master  himself) — Ver.  368.  By  "  magister"  he  probably  means  Euclio, 
whom  he  styles  the  master  of  the  Gymnasium,  whose  duty  it  was  to  train  the 
pupils  in  the  various  exercises.  He  says  that  his  master  has  taught  him  a  trick, 
namely,  how  to  defend  himself,  which  in  the  next  Scene  he  threatens  to  do. 


39G  AULULARIA  ;  Act  III, 

ning  off).  Come  back!  Where  are  you  running  to,  now? 
Hold  you ! 

Cox.  Why  are  you  crying  out,  you  stupid  ? 

Euc.  Because  this  instant  I  shall  give  your  name  to  the 
Triumvirs1. 

Con.  Why  ?     Ere.  Because  you've  got  a  knife. 

Con.  'Tis  the  proper  thing  for  a  cook.  Euc.  "Why  did 
you  threaten  me  ? 

Con.  I  think  that  it  was  badly  managed,  that  I  didn't 
pierce  your  side  tvith  it. 

Euc.  There's  not  a  person  that's  living  this  day  a  greater 
rascal  than  you,  nor  one  to  whom  designedly  I  would  with 
greater  pleasure  cause  a  mischief. 

Con.  I'  faith,  though2  you  should  hold  your  noise,  really 
that's  quite  clear ;  the  thing  itself  is  its  own  witness.  As 
it  is,  I'm  made  softer  by  far  with  your  sticks  than  any  ballet- 
dancer.  But  what  right  have  you  to  touch  us,  you  beggar- 
man?     What's  the  matter  ? 

Euc.  Do  you  even  ask  me  ?     Is  it  that  I've  done  less  than 

I  ought  to  have   done  ?      Only  let  me (Is  going  to 

strike  him.) 

Con.  Now,  by  my  faith-,  at  your  great  peril,  if  this  head 
should  feel  it ! 

Euc.  Troth,  I  don't  know  what  may  happen3  hereafter ; 
your  head  feels  it  just  now!  But  what  business,  pray,  had 
you  in  my  house,  in  my  absence,  unless  I  had  ordered  you  ? 
I  want  to  know  that. 

1  To  the  Triumvirs) — Ver.  369.  "  Trisviros."  Though  the  scene  is  in  Greece 
he  refers  to  the  "  Triumviri  capitales,''  who  were  Roman  magistrates.  They  took 
cognizance  of  capital  crimes,  and  they  apprehended  criminals.  In  conjunction 
with  the  iEdiles,  they  had  to  preserve  the  public  peace,  to  prevent  unlawful  as- 
semblies, and  to  enforce  the  payment  of  fines  due  to  the  state.  They  had  also 
the  care  of  the  public  prisons,  and  to  them  was  entrusted  the  punishment  of  cri- 
minals. They  had  authority  to  inflict  summary  punishment  upon  the  slaves  and 
the  lower  orders,  though,  probably,  not  upon  those  who  enjoyed  the  rights  of 
Roman  citizens. 

2  T  faith,  though) — Ver.  375.  In  Hildyard's  edition  this  and  the  next  line  are 
given  to  Euclio ;  but  they  seem  much  more  likely  to  belong  to  Congrio,  as  we  do 
not  find  that  any  person  has  beat  Euclio  with  sticks,  whereas  Congrio  has  already 
complained  of  the  rough  usage  he  has  experienced. 

3  Wh(J  may  happen) — Ver.  380.  Euclio  is  laughing  at  his  "  ifs,"  which  com- 
mence  the  saving-clause  of  all  cowards.  He  does  not  care  what  Congrio  will  do, 
tot  he  knows  that  he  has  already  made  his  head  to  feel  it. 


Sc.  VII.  OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  397 

Con.  Hold  your  noise,  then ;  because  we  came  to  cool? 
for  the  wedding. 

Eire.  "Why  the  plague  do  you  trouble  yourself  whether  I 
eat  meat  raw  or  cooked,  unless  you  are  my  tutor1. 

Con.  I  want  to  know  if  you  will  allow  or  not  allow  us  to 
cook  the  dinner  here  ? 

Euc.  I,  too,  want  to  know  whether  my  property  will  be ' 
safe  in  my  house. 

Con.  I  only  wish  to  carry  the  things  away  safe  that  I 
brought  here !  I  don't  care  for  yours  ;  should  I  be  coveting 
your  things  ? 

Euc.  I  understand ;  don't  teach  me ;  I  know. 

Con.  What  is  it,  on  account  of  which  you  now  hinder  us 
from  cooking  the  dinner  here  ?  What  have  we  done  ?  What 
have  we  said  to  you  otherwise  than  you  could  wish  ? 

Euc.  Do  you  even  ask  me,  you  rascally  fellow  ?  You  who've 
been  making  a  thoroughfare  of  every  corner  of  my  house,  and 
the  places  under  lock  and  key  ?  If  you  had  stopped  by  the 
fireside,  where  it  was  your  business,  you  wouldn't  have  had 
your  head  broken.  It  has  been  done  for  you  deservedly' 
Therefore  that  you  may  now  know  my  determination  ;  if  you 
come  nearer  to  the  door  here,  unless  I  order  you,  I'll  make 
you  to  be  the  most  wretched  of  creatures.  Do  you  now  know 
my  determination  ?     {He  goes  into  his  house.) 

Con.  Where  are  you  going  ?  Come  you  back  again  !  So 
may  Laverna3  love  me  well,  I'll  expose  you  at  once  with  loud 
abuse  here  before  the  house,  if  you  don't  order  my  utensils  tc 
be  restored  to  me  !  What  shall  I  do  now  ?  Verily,  by  my 
faith,  I  came  here  with  unlucky  auspices  ;  I  was  hired  for  a 
didrachm3 ;  I  stand  in  more  need  now  of  a  surgeon  than  of 
wages. 

1  You  ire  my  tutor)— Ver.  384.  One  of  the  duties  of  the  "  paedagogus,"  or 
"  tutor  of  boys,"  would  be  to  see  that  they  did  not  eat  unwholesome  food. 

2  So  may  Laveima)—Ver.  399.  Laverna  was  a  Goddess  worshipped  by  the 
thievish  fraternity  at  Rome,  as  their  tutelar  Divinity.  Horace  makes  mention  of 
her  in  his  Epistles,  B.  1,  Ep.  16. 

3  For  a  didrachni) — Ver.  402.  "  Nummo."  It  has  been  remarked,  in  the  Notes 
to  the  Pseudolus,  that  a  "nummus,"  or  didrachm,  of  nearly  twenty-pence  of  our 
money,  was  the  wages  of  a  good  cook  for  a  lay's  employment.  See  the  Pseudolus 
...  800—810. 


AULULARIA  ;  Act  III. 


Scene  VIII. — Enter  Euclio,  from.  his  house,  with  the  pot  of 
money  under  his  cloak. 

Euc.  {to  himself  as  he  enters).  This,  by  my  faith,  wherever 
I  shall  go,  really  shall  be  with  me,  and  with  myself  will  I 
carry  it,  nor  will  I  ever  again  entrust  it  to  that  place,  for  it  to 
be  in  such  great  peril.  (Speaking  to  Congrio  and  his  Scul- 
lions.) Now,  then,  go  you  all  of  you  in  the  house,  cooks  and 
music-girls  ;  introduce  even,  if  you  like,  a  whole  company  of 
hirelings1 ;  cook,  bustle,  and  hurry  now  at  once  just  as  much 
as  you  please. 

Con.  O  dear,  I'm  a  ruined  man.  Euc.  Be  off!  your  labour 
was  hired  here,  not  your  talk. 

Con.  Harkye,  old  gentleman,  for  the  beating,  by  my  faith, 
I  shall  demand  of  you  a  recompense.  I  was  hired  a  while  ago 
to  cook,  and  not  to  be  basted. 

Euc.  Proceed  against  me  at  law !  Don't  be  troublesome ! 
Either  cook  the  dinner,  or  away  with  you  from  the  house  to 
downright  perdition! 

Con.  Go  there  yourself  then.  (Congeio  and  the  Cookb 
and  Music-Girl  go  back  into  the  house.) 

Scene  IX. — Euclio,  alone. 

Euc.  He's  gone.  Immortal  Gods !  A  poor  man,  who  begins 
to  have  dealings  or  business  with  an  opulent  one,  commences 
upon  a  rash  undertaking !  Thus,  for  instance,  Megadorus 
who  has  pretended  that,  for  the  sake  of  honoring  me,  he  seiids 
these  cooks  hither,  is  plaguing  unfortunate  me  in  every  way ; 
for  this  reason  has  he  sent  them,  that  they  might  purloin 
this  (putting  his  hand  on  the  pot)  from  unfortunate  me.  Just 
as  I  might  expect,  even  my  dunghill-cock  in-doors,  that  was 
bought  with  the  old  woman's  savings2,  had  well  nigh  been  the 
ruin  of  me  ;  where  this  was  buried,  he  began  to  scratch  there 
all  round  about  with  his  claws.  What  need  of  more  words  ? 
So  exasperated  were  my  feelings,  I  took  a  stick,  and  knocked 

1  Company  of  hirelings) — Ver.  406.  "  Venalium''  may  mean  either  "slaves" or 
"hirelings;"  it  does  not  much  signify  which,  as  the  cooks,  in  this  instance  at 
least,  were  both.  Having  secured  his  money,  Euclio  does  not  care  if  a  whole 
gang  of  thieves  is  admitted  into  his  house,  as  there  is  nothing  for  them  to  steal. 

2  With  the  old  tooman's  savings) — Ver.  420.  "  Ani  peculiaris."  Bought  out  oi 
the  "  peculium,"  or  "  savings,"  of  the  old  woman. 


BC.  A.  OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  399 

off  the  head  of  the  cock — a  thief  caught  in  the  act.  I'  faith, 
I  do  believe  that  the  cooks  had  promised  a  reward  to  the  cock, 
if  he  should  discover  it ;  I  took  the  opportunity1  out  of  their 
hands,  however.  What  need  of  many  words  ?  I  had  a  regu- 
lar battle3  with  the  dunghill-cock.  But  see,  my  neighbour 
Megadorus  is  coming  from  the  Forum.  I  can't,  then,  venture 
to  pass  by  him,  but  I  must  stop  and  speak  to  him.  {He 
retires  close  to  his  door.) 

Scene  X. — Enter  Megadorus,  at  a  distance. 
Meg.  {to  himself).  I've  communicated  to  many  friends  my 
design  about  this  proposal;  they  speak  in  high  terms  of  the 
daughter  of  Euclio.  They  say  that  it  was  discreetly  done,  and 
with  great  prudence.  But,  in  my  opinion,  indeed,  if  the  other 
richer  men  were  to  do  the  same,  so  as  to  take  home  as  their 
wives,  without  dower,  the  daughters  of  the  poorer  persons, 
both  the  state  would  become  much  more  united,  and  we  should 
meet  with  less  ill  feeling  than  we  now  meet  with  ;  both,  they, 
the  wives,  would  stand  in  fear  of  punishment  more  than  they 
do  stand  in  fear  of  it,  and  we  husbands  should  be  at  less 
expense  than  we  now  are.  In  the  greater  part  of  the  people 
this  is  a  most  just  way  of  thinking ;  in  the  smaller  portion 
there  is  an  objection  among  the  avaricious,  whose  avaricious 
minds  and  insatiate  dispositions  there  is  neither  law  nor  ma- 
gistrate to  be  able  to  put  a  check  upon.  But  a  person  may 
say  this ;  "  How  are  these  rich  women  with  portions  to  marry, 
if  this  law  is  laid  down  for  the  poor?"  Let  them  marry 
whom  they  please,  so  long  as  the  dowry  isn't  their  companion. 
If  this  were  so  done,  the  women  would  acquire  for  themselves 
better  manners  for  them  to  bring,  in  place  of  dowry,  than  they 
now  bring.  I'd  make  mules,  which  exceed  horses  in  price, 
to  become  cheaper  than  Gallic  geldings3. 

1  Took  the  opportunity') — Ver.  425.  "  Eximere  ex  manu  manubrium,"  literally 
means,  "  to  take  the  handle  out  of  the  hand,"  and  its  figurative  application  is 
derived  from  the  act  of  taking  a  sword  out  of  the  hand  of  a  person  who  is  about 
to  use  it. 

2  A  regular  battle) — Ver.  426.  Hildyard  suggests  that,  in  these  words,  there 
is  probably  a  reference  to  some  current  saying  or  proverb.  If  such  is  the  case, 
the  saying  so  referred  to  has  not  come  down  to  us. 

3  Than  Gallic  geldings) — Ver.  449.  Mules  were  much  coveted  by  the  haughtj 
aames  of  Rome  for  the  purpose  of  drawing  their  carriages.  He  says  that  if  he 
nad  his  way,  such  extravagance  should  not  be  encouraged,  and  mules  should  not 
oe  a  bit  more  valuable  than  humble  Gallic  geldings. 


400  ATTLULARIA ;  Act  III. 

Euc.  {aside).  So  may  the  Gods  favour  mo,  I  listen  to  him 
with  delight ;  very  shrewdly  has  he  discoursed  on  the  side 
of  economy. 

Meg.  (to  himself) .  No  wife  should  then  be  saying:  "In- 
deed, I  brought  you  a  marriage-portion  far  greater  than  was 
your  own  wealth  ;  why,  it  really  is  fair  that  purple  and  gold 
should  be  found  for  me,  maid-servants,  mules,  muleteers,  and 
lacqueys1,  pages  to  carry3  compliments,  vehicles  in  which  I 
may  be  carried." 

Euc.  (aside).  How  thoroughly  he  does  understand  the 
doings  of  the  wives !  I  wish  he  were  made  Prefect  of  the 
manners  of  the  women. 

Meg.  (to himself).  Now,  gowhereyouwill,youmayseemore 
carriages3  among  the  houses  than  in  the  country  whenyou  go  to 
a  farm-house.  But  this  is  even  light,  in  comparison  with  wher. 
they  ask  for  their  allowance ;  there  stands  the  scourer4,  the 
embroiderer,  the  goldsmith,  the  woollen-manufacturer,  retail 
dealers  in  figured  skirts5,  dealers  in  women's  under-clothing6, 

1  And  lacqueys) — Ver.  455.  "  Pedissequos."  The  "  pedissequi"  were  a  particular 
class  of  slaves  whose  duty  it  was  to  follow  their  master  when  he  went  out  of  doors. 
They  were  of  the  lowest  rank  in  the  slave  family. 

2  Pages  to  carry) — Ver.  456.  The  "  salutigeruti  pueri"  were  hoys  whose  busi- 
ness it  was  to  run  on  errands,  and  carry  messages  and  compliments  from  one  house 
to  another.  Hildyard.  suggests  the  rather  refined,  translation  of  "  boys  to  carry 
visiting-cards." 

3  More  carriages) — Ver.  459.  "  Plaustra"  generally  mean  "  carts"  or  "  wag- 
gons," and  perhaps,  from  his  reference  to  the  country,  may  have  that  signification 
here ;  though  he  has  just  been  speaking  of  the  luxury  of  the  ladies,  with  their 
"  vehicla,"  or  "  carriages.'" 

4  The  scourer) — Ver.  462.  The  "fullo"  was  a  washer  and  cleaner  of  linen  and 
woollen  clothing  with  fuller's  earth.  As  woollen  dresses  were  chiefly  worn  by  the 
Komans,  they  would,  by  reason  of  the  perspiration  produced  by  so  hot  a  climate, 
require  frequent  purification.  As  the  ancients,  probably,  were  not  acquainted 
with  the  use  of  ordinary  washing  soap,  various  alkalis  were  used  in  its  place  for 
the  purpose  of  cleansing  garments.  It  is  not  known  whether  the  fuller's  earth  of 
the  Romans  resembled  that  used  at  the  present  day. 

5  Dealers  in  figured  skirts) — Ver.  463.  "  Patagiarii."  These  were  persons  who 
sold  the  "  patagium,"  which  was  a  broad  band  or  hem  on  the  tunics  of  the  women, 
answering  to  the  "  clavus,"  or  "  broad  stripe,"  on  the  clothes  of  the  men.  It  may 
possibly  have  been  the  same  as  the  "  instita,"  or  broad  fJounce,  which  distinguished 
the  Roman  matrons  of  reputable  character. 

6  Dealers  in  women's  under-clothing) — Ver.  463.  '  Indusiarii,"  "  makers"  or 
"  sellers"  of  the  "  indusium,"  which  is  by  some  thought  to  have  been  the  upper 
tunic  worn  by  the  Roman  women ;  while  others  suppose  the  under  tunic,  wu'D 
next  the  skin,  to  have  been  so  called,  from  ;'  intus,"  "  innermost." 


Sc.  X.        OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  401 

dyers  in  flame-colour,  dyers  in  violet,  dyers  in  wax-colour1,  or 
else  sieeve-makers2,  or  perfumers3 ;  wholesale  linendrapers, 
shoemakers,  squatting  cobblers,  slipper-makers  ;  sanda*- 
makers  stand  there  ;  stainers  in  mallow  colour  stand  there  ; 
hairdressers4  make  their  demands,  botchers  their  demands ; 
boddice-makers5  stand  there  ;  makers  of  kirtles6  take  their 
stand.  Now  you  would  think  them  got  rid  of;  these  make 
way,    others    make   their  demands;   three   hundred  duns7 

1  Dyers  in  wax-colour) — Ver.  464.  "  Carinarii."  Ovid,  in  the  Art  of  Love, 
B.  3,  1.  184,  has  the  line,  "  Sua  velleribus  nomina  cera  dedit."  "The  wax  has 
given  its  own  name  to  the  wool."  The  yellow  colour  resembling  that  of  wax  was 
much  esteemed  by  the  Romans. 

2  Sleeve-makers)— Ver.  465.  "  Manulearii,"  "  makers  of  the  manulea."  This 
was  a  long  sleeve  fitted  on  to  the  tunics  of  the  Roman  ladies,  and  was  probably 
made  to  take  on  and  off,  for  the  purpose  of  keeping  the  arms  and  hands  warm. 

3  Perfumers)— Ver.  465.  "  Murobrecharii."  One  reading  here  is  "  murroba- 
thrarii,"  "  persons  who  give  an  agreable  smell  to  women's  shoes,  by  scenting 
them  with  myrrh."  "  Murobrecharii,"  whioh  is  adopted  above,  means  "  perfumers," 
or  "  persons  who  scented  the  clothes,"  from  the  Greek  fxvpbv,  "  ointment,"  and 
/SofYoo,  "  to  moisten."  Myrrh  or  nard  was  much  used  for  this  purpose.  The 
unguents  or  ointments  used  by  the  ancients  were  very  numerous.  Among  those 
used  for  the  skin  or  the  hair  were  "  mendesium,"  "  megalesium,"  "  meto- 
pium,"  "  amaracinum,"  "  Cyprinum,"  "  susinum,"  "nardinum,"  "spicatum," 
"jasminum,"  "rosaceum,"  and  crocus  oil,  which  last  was  considered  the  most 
costly.  Powders  were  also  used  as  perfumes ;  they  were  called  "  diapasmata." 
The  Greeks  used  expensive  perfumes  from  early  times,  and  both  Greeks  and 
Romans  were  in  the  habit  of  carrying  them  about  in  small  boxes  of  elegant  work- 
manship. In  the  luxurious  city  of  Capua,  there  was  one  great  street,  called 
the  "  Seplasia,"  which  consisted  entirely  of  shops  in  which  ointments  and  per- 
fumes were  sold. 

*  Hairdressers) — Ver.  469.  "  Ciniflones."  The  "  ciniflones"  were  those  per- 
sons whose  duty  it  was  to  heat  the  "  calamistrum,"  or  "curling-iron,"  in  wood- 
ashes  (cinis),  from  which  they  took  their  name.  In  the  time  of  Cicero,  the  youths 
of  Rome  generally  had  their  hair  curled,  whence  they  were  termed  "calamis- 
trati." 

5  Boddice-makers) — Ver.  471.  "  Strophiarii."  These  were  makers  of  the  band 
or  stomacher  which  was  worn  by  the  women,  to  correct  excessive  protuberance  of 
the  breast  and  stomach. 

6  Makers  of  kirtles) — Ver.  470  "  Semizonarii."  These  were  makers  or  sellers 
of  "  semicinctia,"  which  were  little  "  aprons"  or  "  kirtles"  extending  half  way 
down  the  body. 

7  Three  hundred  duns) — Ver.  472.  "  Phylacistse,"  from  the  Greek  (bvhaKioTrjs, 
"  a  keeper  of  a  prison."  He  calls  "  duns"  or  importunate  creditors  by  this 
name,  from  their  keeping  as  close  a  watch  on  the  front  of  a  debtor's  bouse  as 
if  they  were  gaolers. 

2  D 


K)2  AT7LTTLAKIA ;  Act  III, 

are  standing  in  your  hall ;  wearers,  lace-makers1,  cabinet- 
makers3, are  introduced ;  the  money's  paid  them.  You 
would  think  them  got  rid  of  by  this  ;  when  dyers  in  saffron- 
colours  come  sneaking  along  ;  or  else  there's  always  some 
horrid  plague  or  other  which  is  demanding  something. 

Euc.  (aside).  I  would  accost  him,  if  I  didn't  fear  that  lie 
would  cease  to  descant  upon  the  ways  of  women ;  for  the 
present  I'll  leave  him  as  he  is. 

Meg.  When  the  money  has  been  paid  to  all  the  nicknack- 
mongers,  for  these  saffron-coloured  garments  and  stomachers, 
your  wife's  expenses,  then  at  the  last  comes  the  tax-gatherer3 
and  asks  for  money.  You  go,  your  account  is  being  made  up 
with  your  banker4 ;  the  tax-gatherer  waits,  half-starved,  and 
thinks  the  money  will  be  paid.  When  the  account  has  been 
made  up  with  the  banker,  even  already  is  the  husband  himself 
in  debt  to  the  banker,  and  the  hopes  of  the  tax-gatherer  are 
postponed  to  another  day.  These,  and  many  others,  are  the 
inconveniences  and  intolerable  expenses  of  great  portions ; 
but  she  who  is  without  portion  is  in  the  power  of  her  hus- 
band;  the  portioned  ones  overwhelm  their  husbands  with 
loss  and  ruin.  But  see ;  here's  my  connexion  by  marriage 
before  the  house  !     How  do  you  do,  Euclio  ? 

Euc.  With  very  great  pleasure  have  I  listened  to  your 
discourse. 

Meg.  Did  you  hear  me?  Euc.  Everything  from  the 
very  beginning. 

Meg.  (eyeing  him  from  head  to  foot).  Still,  in  my  way  of 
thinking  indeed,  you  would  be  acting  a  little  more  becomingly 
if  you  were  more  tidy  at  the  wedding  of  your  daughter. 

Euc.  Those  who  have  display  according  to  their  circum- 

1  Lace-makers) — Ver.  473.  "  Limbuarii."  The  makers  of  "  limbus,"  "  lace"  or 
"  fringes"  for  women's  dresses. 

2  Cabinet-makers) — Ver.  473.  "  Arcularii,"  makers  of  u  arculas,"  "  caskets"  or 
"  cabinets"  for  jewels  and  nicknacks. 

3  The  tax-gatherer)— Ver.  481.  "Miles."  Literally,  "the  soldier."  This  is 
explained  as  meaning  that  the  soldier  comes  to  receive  the  military  tribute  levied 
by  the  Tribunes,  which  was  called  "  ass  militare."  The  word  may,  however, 
possibly  mean  simply  the  officer  of  the  magistrate  by  whom  the  tribute  was  levied, 
as  "  miles"  has  sometimes,  though  very  rarely,  that  signification. 

*  With  your  banker) — Ver.  482.  The  "argentarii"  acted  as  bankers  of  deposit 
Epon  whom  the  depositors  drew  checks  as  with  us. 


Sc.  X.  0E,  HIE  CONCEALED  TKEASTTRE.  403 

stances  and  splendour  according  to  their  means1,  remember 
themselves,  from  whence  they  are  sprung  ;  neither  by  myself, 
Megadorus,  nor  by  any  poor  man,  are  better  circumstances 
enjoyed  than  appearances  warrant. 

Meg.  Surely  they  are  ;  and  may  the  Gods,  I  hope,  make 
them  so  to  be,  and  more  and  more  may  they  prosper  that 
which  you  now  possess. 

Eire,  (aside).  That  expression  don't  please  me,  "  which  you 
now  possess."  He  knows  that  I've  got  this,  as  well  as  I  do 
myself:  the  old  woman  has  discovered  it  to  him. 

Meg.  "Why  do  you  separate  yourself  thus  alone,  apart 
from  the  Senate2  ? 

Euc.  Troth,  I  was  considering  whether  I  should  accuse 
you  deservedly. 

Meg.  "What's  the  matter  ?  Euc.  Do  you  ask  me  what's 
the  matter  ?  You  who  have  filled  every  corner  in  my  house, 
for  wretched  me,  with  thieves  ?  You  who  have  introduced 
into  my  dwelling  five  hundred  cooks,  with  six  hands  a-piece, 
of  the  race  of  Greryon3,  whom  were  Argus  to  watch,  who  was 
eyes  all  over,  that  Juno  once  set  as  a  spy  upon  Jupiter,  he 
never  could  watch  them  ;  a  music-girl  besides,  who  could 
alone  drink  up  for  me  the  Corinthian  fountain  of  Pirene4,  if 
it  were  flowing  with  wine  ?     And  then  as  to  provisions 

Meg.  Troth,  there's  enough  for  a  procurer5  even.  I  sent 
as  much  as  a  lamb. 

1  According  to  their  means) — Ver.  496.  Shakspeare  expresses  the  same  idea  in 
Hamlet,  Act  II.,  Sc.  3: 

Costly  tliy  habit  as  thy  purse  can  buy, 
But  not  expressed  in  fancy. 

2  Apart  from  the  Senate) — Ver.  504.  As  the  Senate  consults  about  the  com- 
mon interests,  so  are  they  discussing  their  common  sentiments.  Megadorus  there- 
fore, on  hearing  him  talking  to  himself,  asks  him  why  he  is  withdrawing  himself 
from  the  discussions  of  the  Senate. 

3  Of  the  race  of  Geryon) — Ver.  509.  Geryon  was  a  King  of  Spain,  slain  by 
Hercu.es.  He  was  fabled  to  have  had  three  heads  and  three  bodies,  consequently 
six  hands. 

4  Fountain  of  Pirene) — Ver.  514.  Pirene,  the  daughter  of  Acheloiis,  on  Con- 
chreas  her  son  by  Neptune  being  slain  by  Diana,  pined  away,  and  was  changed 
into  a  fountain,  which  was  in  the  Arx  Corinthiacus,  or  Citadel  of  Corinth,  and 
retained  her  name. 

5  For  a  procurer) — Ver.  515.  Who  might  be  presumed  to  have  a  voracious  and 
Ungovernable  appetite,  and  probably  a  large  household  to  satisfy.  Some  editions, 
however,  have  "legioni,"  which  would  almost  appear  to  be  a  preferable  reading: 

almost  enot  igh  for  a  whole  legion." 

2b2 


404  AULULARIA ;  Act  III 

Euc.  Than  which  lamb,  I,  indeed,  know  right  well  that 
there  is  nowhere  a  more  curious1  beast  existing. 

Meg.  I  wish  to  know  of  you  why  is  this  iamb  curious  ? 

Euc.  Because  it's  all  skin  and  bone,  so  lean  is  it  with 
care  ;  why,  even  when  alive,  by  the  light  of  the  sun  you 
may  look  at  its  entrails  ;  it's  iust  as  transparent  as  a  Punic 
lantern2. 

Meg.  I  bought  it  to  be  killed. 

Euc.  Then  it's  best  that  you  likewise  should  bargain  for3 
it  to  be  carried  out  for  burial;  for  I  believe  it's  dead  by  this 
time. 

Meg.  Euclio,  I  wish  this  day  to  have  a  drinking  with  you. 

Euc.  By  my  troth,  I  really  must  not  drink. 

Meg.  But  I'll  order  one  cask  of  old  wme  to  be  brought 
from  my  house. 

Euc.  I'  faith,  I  won't  have  it ;  for  I've  determined  to 
drink  water. 

Meg.  I'll  have  you  well  drenched  this  day,  if  I  live,  you 
who  have  determined  to  drink  water. 

Euc.  (aside).  I  know  what  plan  he's  upon;  he's  aiming 
at  this  method,  to  overcome  me  with  wine,  and  after  that,  to 
change  the  settlement4  of  what  I  possess :  I'll  take  care  of 

1  A  more  curious) — Ver.  517.  "  Magis  curiosam."  It  is  suggested  in  Schmie- 
der's  Notes  to  Plautus,  that  Euclio  intends  to  call  the  lamb  "  inquisitive"  or 
"  curious,"  "  curiosam,"  because  he  had  found  it,  when  he  entered  his  house 
to  drive  out  Congrio  and  his  scullions,  scraping  and  smelling  about  in  every 
direction,  as  in  a  strange  place  it  was  natural  for  it  to  do,  but  which  the  old  man 
thought  to  he  done  in  quest  of  his  treasure.  On  this,  Megadorus,  who  has  not 
heard,  or  else  has  misunderstood,  the  last  syllable  for  "  nem,"  instead  of  "  sam," 
asks  him  what  sort  of  a  lamb  a  "curio"  (the  nominative  of  "  curionem")  lamb  is; 
on  which  Euclio  catches  him  up,  and  says  he  calls  a  "  curio"  lamb  such  a  one  as 
he  has  sent  him,  all  skin  and  bone,  and  lean  with  "  cura,"  "  care."  "  Curionem" 
is  by  many  preferred  as  the  reading  in  the  517th  line  to  "  curiosam,"  and  perhaps 
it  is  the  best.  Be  it  as  it  may,  the  wit  seems  far-fetched;  and  not  improbably 
the  word  "  curio"  may  have  had  some  meaning  which  is  now  lost,  other  than  its 
usual  signification  of  the  master  or  head  of  a  "  curia,"  or  "  ward." 

2  A  Pvnic  lantern) — Ver.  521.  The  horn  exported  from  Carthage,  for  the  pur- 
pose of  making  lanterns,  was  more  pellucid  than  any  other. 

3  Should  bar  gain  for) — Ver.  523.  "  Loces."  "  Should  hire"  the  "  conductores, 
or  "  libitinarii,"  who  contracted  to  perform  funerals.  He  seems  to  hint  that  the 
lamb  is  so  meagre  that  it  is  not  worth  eating.  If  that  is  not  his  meaning,  the  wit 
intended  to  be  conveyed  by  the  passage  is  imperceptible. 

*  Change  the  settlement) — Ver.  531.  "  Commutet  coloniam."  Literally  "ma' 
♦hange  its  colony." 


SO.  X.  OK,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  405 

that,  for  I'll  hide  it  somewhere  out  of  doors.  I'll  make 
him  lose  his  wine  and  his  trouble  together. 

Meg.  Unless  you  want  me  for  anything,  I'm  going  to 
bathe,  that  I  may  sacrifice.     {He  goes  into  his  house.) 

Euc.  By  my  faith,  you  pot  (taking  it  from  under  his 
cloak),  you  surely  have  many  enemies,  and  that  gold  as  well 
which  is  entrusted  to  you !  Now  this  is  the  best  thing  to  be 
done  by  me,  to  take  you  away,  my  pot,  to  the  Temple  of  Faith1, 
where  I'll  hide  you  carefully.  Faith,  thou  dost  know  me,  and 
I  thee  ;  please,  do  have  a  care  not  to  change  thy  name  against 
me,  if  I  entrust  this  to  thee.  Faith,  I'll  come  to  thee,  relying 
on  thy  fidelity.     {He  goes  into  the  Temple  of  Faith.) 

Act  IV. — Scene  I. 

Enter  Strobilus2. 

Stro.  This  is  the  duty  of  a  good  servant,  to  do  what  I'm 
intending,  not  to  consider  the  commands  of  his  master  a 
bore  or  trouble  to  him.  For  that  servant  who  resolves  to 
serve  his  master  with  hearty  goodwill,  him  it  behoves  to 
act  expeditiously  for  his  master,  slowly  for  himself ;  but  if  he 
sleeps,  let  him  so  sleep  as  to  bethink  himself  that  he  is  a 
servant.  But  he  who  lives  in  servitude  to  one  in  love,  as  I 
am  serving,  if  he  sees  love  overcoming  his  master,  this  I 
think  to  be  the  duty  of  the  servant ;  to  restrain  him  for  his 
safety,  not  to  impel  him  onwards  towards  his  own  inclina- 

1  Temple  of  Faith) — Ver.  538.  "Fides,"  "  Faith,"  was  a  Goddess  worshipped 
by  the  Romans.  Probably,  in  the  present  instance,  her  Temple  was  represented 
at  one  side  of  the  stage,  and  the  door  just  beyond  the  side-scene. 

2  Strobilus)  It  is  a  curious  fact  that  all  of  the  editions  make  this  to  be  a  dif- 
ferent person  from  the  Strobilus,  the  servant  of  Megadorus,  whom  we  have  already 
•"en  hiring  Congrio,  Anthrax,  and  the  "  tibicinae."     In  the    "  dramatis  personam" 

tiey  style  this  one,  Strobilus,  "  the  servant  of  Lyconides,"  and  the  other  Strobilus. 
m  some  instances,  as  "  the  servant  of  Megadorus,"  and  in  others  (evidently  by  mis- 
take) as  "  the  servant  of  Euclio."  On  examination  we  .shall  find  there  is  no  ground 
for  tills.  Eunomia  (most  probably  a  widow)  is  living,  together  with  her  son  Lyco- 
nides, in  the  house  of  her  brother  Megadorus.  This  is  clear  from  what  Lyconides 
says  in  1.  684,  where,  speaking  of  the  house  of  his  uncle,  he  calls  it  "  ledes  nostras," 
"our  house,"  which  he  would  not  have  said  had  he  not  been  residing  there.  By 
the  indulgence  of  his  uncle,  who  has  no  children,  we  may  presume  that  Strobilus 
has  been  permitted  to  consider  him  as  "  his  young  master."  After  hiring  the  cooks, 
he  has  communicated  the  bad  news  to  Lyconides,  who  tells  him  to  keep  a  good 
look-out,  and  inform  him  of  any  chance  that  may  possibly  happen  for  breaking  off 
the  marriage. 


406  AULULARIA  ;  Act  IYU 

tion.  Just  as  a  float  of  bulrushes  is  placed  beneath  boys 
who  are  learning  to  swim,  by  means  of  which  they  may 
labour  less,  so  as  to  swim  more  easily  and  move  their 
hands  ;  in  the  same  way  do  I  consider  that  it  is  proper  for 
the  servant  to  be  a  buoy  to  his  master  thus  in  love,  so  as  to 
bear  him  up  lest  he  should  go  to  the  bottom ;  and  so 
*  *  *  should  he  learn  the  will  of 

his  master,  that  his  eyes  should  know  what  his  mouth 
chooses  not  to  speak.  What  he  orders,  he  should  hasten  to 
perform  more  swiftly  than  the  swift  steeds.  He  who  shall 
have  a  care  for  these  things,  will  escape  the  castigation  of  the 
ox's  hide,  nor  by  his  own  means  will  he  ever  bring  the  fetters 
to  brightness.  Now,  my  master's  in  love  with  the  daugh- 
ter of  this  poor  man,  Euclio  ;  word  has  just  now  been  brought 
to  my  master  that  she  is  given  to  Megadorus  here :  he  has 
sent  me  here  to  spy  out,  that  he  may  be  made  acquainted 
with  the  things  that  are  going  on.  Now,  without  any  sus- 
picion, I'll  sit  here  by  the  sacred  altar1.  From  this  spot  I 
shall  be  able,  in  this  direction  and  that,  to  witness  what 
they  are  about.  (He  sits  by  the  altar,  and  on  seeing  Euclio, 
hides  behind  it.) 

Scene  II. — Enter  Euclio,  from  the  Temple. 
Euc.  O  Goddess  Faith,  do  thou  but  take  care  not  to  dis- 
cover to  any  person  that  my  gold  is  there.  I  have  no  fear 
that  any  one  will  find  it,  so  well  is  it  concealed  in  its  hiding- 
place.  By  my  troth,  he  will  surely  have  a  charming  booty 
there,  if  any  one  shall  meet  with  that  pot  loaded  with  gold. 
But  I  entreat  thee,  Faith,  to  hinder  that.  Now  I  shall  go 
wash  me,  that  I  may  perform  the  sacrifice  ;  so  that  I  may  not 
delay  my  new  connexion  by  marriage,  but  that,  when  he  sends 
to  me,  he  may  forthwith  take  my  daughter  home.  Over 
and  over  again  now,  Goddess  Faith,  do  thou  take  care  that  I 
shall  carry  away  the  pot  safe  from  thy  Temple.  To  thy 
fidelity2  have  I  entrusted  the  gold ;  in  thy  grove  and  Temple 
is  it  placed.     (Goes  into  his  house.) 

1  By  the  sacred  altar) — Ver.  560.  The  Athenians  often  raised  altars  to  Apollo 
or  B  icchus  at  their  doors.  The  Romans  also  had  altars  in  their  public  streets. 
On  the  stage  of  Comedy  there  was  generally  an  altar  erected  in  honor  of  Apollo, 
%-pr,(TTa.Tr)pi6s,  "  that  presides." 

-  To  thy  fidelity)— Ver.  569  "  Tuse  fidei."  He  plays  upon  the  word  "  fides," 
and  flatters  himself  that  his  treasure  cannot  be  more  secure  than  when  entrusted 
u  to  the  faith  of  Faith." 


SC.  III.  OR,  T1IE  CONCEALEB  TREASURE.  407 

Stro.  {coming  from  behind  the  altar) .  Immortal  Gods,  what 
a  deed  did  I  hear  this  person  speaking  of,  how  that  he 
had  hidden  here,  in  the  Temple  of  Faith,  a  pot  filled  with 
gold ;  prithee,  beware  you,  how  you  are  more  faithful  to  him 
than  to  myself!  And  he,  as  I  fancy,  is  the  father  of  her  whom 
my  master's  in  love  with.  I'll  go  hence  into  it ;  I'll  tho- 
roughly ransack  the  Temple,  to  see  if  I  can  anywhere  find  the 
gold,  while  he's  engaged.  But  if  I  do  find  it,  O  Goddess  Faith, 
I'll  offer  to  thee  a  gallon  jug1  full  of  honeyed  wine,  that  I'll 
surely  offer  to  thee ;  but  I'll  drink  it  up  myself,  when  I  have 
offered  it.     (Betreats  behind  the  altar.) 

Scene  III. — Enter  ~Exj cmo,  from  his  house. 

Euc.  (to  himself).  It  wasn't  for  nothing  that  the  raven  was 
just  now  croaking  on  my  left  hand2 ;  he  was  both  scratching 
the  ground  with  his  feet  and  croaking  with  his  voice.  At  once 
my  heart  began  to  jump  about3,  and  to  leap  within  my 
breast.  But  why  do  I  delay  to  run  ?  {He  discovers  Stro- 
bile's, and  drags  him  from  behind  the  altar.)  Out,  out,  you 
earthworm4,  who  have  this  instant  crept  out  of  the  earth ; 
who  just  now  were  nowhere  seen,  and  now  that  you  are  seen 
shall  die/or  it.  By  my  faith,  you  juggler,  I'll  receive  you  now 
after  a  disagreable  fashion.     {Begins  to  shake  and  beat  him.) 

Stro.  What  the  curst  plague  does  ail  you  ?  What  busi- 
ness have  you  with  me,  old  fellow  ?  Why  do  you  torment 
me  ?  Why  are  you  dragging  me  ?  For  what  reason  are  you 
beating  me  ? 

1  A  gallon  jug) — Ver.  576.  "  Congialem."  Literally,  "  holding  a  congius.' 
This  contained  about  nine  pints  of  English  measure.  By  the  use  of  the  word 
"  fidelia,"  "  a  jug,"  he  plays  on  its  resemblance  to  the  name  of  "  Fides." 

2  On  my  left  hand) — Ver.  578.  We  cannot  fail  to  remember  here  the  exactly 
similar  expression  of  Gay,  in  the  fable  of  the  Farmer's  Wife  and  the  Raven: 

That  raven  on  yon  left-hand  oak 
(Curse  on  his  ill-betiding  croak !) 
Bodes  me  no  good. 

3  Began  to  jump  about) — Ver.  580.  "  Ars  ludicra"  here  means  "the  art  of  a 
1  ludius,'  or  stage-player,"  who  moves  to  and  fro  and  gesticulates — hence  "  cor 
ccepit  artem  facere  ludicram"  would  strictly  mean  "  my  heart  begins  to  move 
to  and  fro  like  a  play-actor." 

4  Earthworm) — Ver.  582.  He  thinks,  that  in  the  short  space  of  time  during 
which  he  has  been  absent  in  the  Temple,  he  can  only  have  sprung  out  of  the  earth, 
as  he  had  not  seen  him  a  few  minutes  before;  and  taking  him  to  be  a  sort  of 

'  prsestigiator,"  or  "juggler,"  he  fancies  that  he  has  followed  him  into  the 
Temple,  and  purloined  the  treasure. 


4-08  AULULAEIA  ;  Act  IV. 

Euc.  You  out-and-out  whipping-post,  do  you  even  ask 
that,  you,  not  thief,  but  thrice-dotted  thief. 

Steo.  What  have  I  stolen  from  you  ? 

Ere.  Give  me  that  back  here,  if  you  please. 

Steo.  What  do  you  want  me  to  give  you  back  ? 

Euc.  Do  you  ask  me  that?  Steo.  As  forme,  I've  taken 
nothing  away  from  you. 

Euc.  But  give  up  that  which  you  have  taken  away  for 
yourself.     Are  you  going  to  do  so  ? 

Steo    Do  what?     Euc.  Tou  can't  carry  it  off. 

Steo.  What  do  you  want  ?     Euc.  Lay  it  down. 

Steo.  Troth,  for  my  part,  I  think  that  you  are  in  the 
habit1  of  quizzing,  old  gentleman. 

Euc.  Put  that  down,  please ;  cease  your  quibbling ;  I'm 
not  trifling  now. 

Steo.  What  am  I  to  put  down  ?  Why  don't  you  men- 
tion it,  whatever  it  is,  by  its  own  name  ?  By  my  faith,  I 
really  have  neither  taken  nor  touched  anything. 

Euc.  Show  me  your  hands,  here.  Steo.  Well,  I  do  show 
them  ;  see,  here  they  are.     (Holding  out  his  hands?) 

Euc.  I  see  them.     Come,  show  me  the  third3,  as  well. 

Steo.  {aside).  Sprites,  and  frenzy,  and  madness,  possess 
this  old  fellow.     Are  you  doing  me  an  injustice,  or  not  ? 

Euc.  A  very  great  one,  I  confess,  inasmuch  as  you  are 

1  In  the  habit) — Ver.  591.  The  real  meaning  of  the  author  in  this  line  is  so 
indelicate,  that  it  requires  another  turn  to  be  given  to  the  passage. 

-  Show  me  the  third)— Yer.  595.  This  passage  has  been  considered  as  extrava- 
gant ;  but  it  really  does  not  appear  inconsistent  with  the  ridiculous  conduct  of 
the  wretched  Euclio  throughout.  Thornton  supposes  that  the  following  passage 
in  the  old  play  of  Albumazar,  Act  III.,  Sc.  8  (where  Trinculo  questions  Ronca 
about  the  purse,  which  the  latter  has  stolen  from  him),  is  an  imitation  of  thir, 
passage : 

Trin.  Show  me  your  hand. 

Ron.  Here  'tis. 

Trin.  But where's  the  other? 
Ron.  Why,  here. 

Trin.  But  I  mean,  where's  your  other  hand  ? 
Ron.  Think  you  me  the  giant  with  an  hundred  hands? 
Trin.  Give  me  your  right. 

Ron.  My  right? 

Trin.  Your  left. 

Ron.  My  left? 
Trin.  Now  both. 

Ron.  There's  both,  my  dr  -xr  Antonio. 


Sc.  III.       OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  409 

not  strung  ap  ;  and  that  too  shall  be  done  this  moment,  un- 
less you  do  confess. 

Stro.  What  am  I  to  confess  to  you  ?  Euc.  What  it  was 
you  took  away  hence. 

Stro.  May  the  Gods  confound  me,  if  I've  taken  away 
anything  of  yours,  (aside)  and  if  I  don't  wish  I  had  taken 
it  away. 

Euc.  Come  then,  shake  out  your  cloak. 

Stro.  At  your  pleasure.     (Shakes  it.) 

Euc.  Tou  haven't  it  among  your  under-clothing  ? 

Stro.  Search  where  you  please.  Euc.  Pshaw !  how  civilly 
the  rascal  speaks,  that  I  mayn't  suppose  he  has  taken  it 
away  !  I  know  your  tricks.  Come,  show  me  here  again  that 
right  hand. 

Stro.  Here  it  is.  (Extending  it.)  Euc.  Now  show  me 
your  left. 

Stro.  Well,  then,  I  show  you  both,  in  fact.  (Extending 
them.) 

Euc.  Now  I  leave  off  searching.     Give  back  that  here. 

Stro.  Give  back  what  ?  Euc.  Are  you  trifling  with  me  ? 
You  certainly  have  got  it. 

Stro.  I,  got  it?  Got  what?  Euc.  I  shan't  say;  you 
want  to  hear.     Whatever  you  have  of  mine,  give  it  back. 

Stro.  Tou  are  mad ;  you've  searched  me  all  over  at  your 
own  pleasure,  and  yet  you've  found  nothing  of  yours  in  my 
possession. 

Euc.  (starting).  Stop,  stop;  who  was  that?  Who  was 
the  other1  that  was  within  here,  together  with  yourself? 
Troth,  I'm  undone ;  he's  now  rummaging  about  within.  If 
I  let  this  one  go,  he'll  escape.  At  last,  I've  now  searched 
this  one  all  over ;  he  has  got  nothing.  Be  off  where  you 
please  ;  Jupiter  and  the  Gods  confound  you ! 

Stro.  He  returns  his  thanks  not  amiss2. 

Euc.  I'll  go  in  here  now,  and  I'll  at  once  throttle  this 
accomplice  of  yours.  Will  you  not  fly  hence  from  my  sight  ? 
Will  you  away  from  here,  or  no  ? 

1  Who  tvas  the  other) — Ver.  609.  This  suspicion  in  Euclio  is  very  natural ; 
and  he  asks  the  question  very  artfully,  for  the  purpose  of  catching  a  confession 
from  him  by  inadvertence. 

2  Thanks  not  amiss) — Ver.  612.  Re  s«ys  this  sarcastically  If  he  gets  such 
thanks  when  hp  has  not  stolen  the  treasure,  what  would  he  have  got  supposing 
that  he  had  ? 


410  ATJLULARIA;  Act  IV, 

Stro.  I'm  off.  Euc.  Take  you  care,  please,  how  I  see  you, 
(He  goes  into  the  Temple.) 

Scene  IV. — Strobiltjs,  alone. 

Stro.  I  would  rather  that  I  were  dead  outright,  by  a 
shocking  death,  than  not  lay  an  ambush  this  day  for  that  old 
fellow.  But  he'll  not  venture  now  to  hide  his  gold  here; 
he'll  now  be  carrying  it  with  him,  I  guess,  and  be  changing  the 
spot.  But  hark !  there's  a  noise  at  the  door.  (Looking  in 
the  direction  of  the  Temple.)  See,  the  old  fellow's  bringing 
out  the  gold  with  him !  Meanwhile,  I'll  step  aside  here  to 
the  door.     (Conceals  himself  near  the  door.) 

Scene  V. — Enter  Euclio,  from  the  Temple,  with  the  pot  of 
money. 

Euc.  (to  himself).  I  had  thought  that  there  was  the  very 
greatest  dependence  upon  Faith ;  very  nearly  had  she  played 
me  a  pretty  trick1.  If  the  raven  hadn't  come  to  my  assist- 
ance, to  my  sorrow  I  should  have  been  undone.  Troth,  I  very 
much  wish  that  raven  would  come  to  me  which  gave  me 
the  warning,  that  I  might  say  something  kind  to  him  ;  for  I 
would  as  soon  give2  him  something  to  eat  as  lose  it.  Xow 
I'm  thinking  of  a  lonely  spot  where  I  shall  hide  this.  The 
grove  of  Sylvanus,  outside  of  the  wall,  is  unfrequented,  and 
planted  with  many  a  willow ;  there  will  I  choose  "a  spot.  >  I'm 
determined  to  trust  Sylvanus3,  rather  than  Faith.     (Exit. 

Stro.  (re-appearing from  his  hiding-place) .  Capital!  capi- 
tal !  the  Gods  will  me  to  be  safe  and  preserved !  Now 
will  I  run  before  to  that  place,  and  climb  up  into  some  tree, 
and  thence  will  I  watch  where  the  old  fellow  hides  the  gold. 
Although  my  master  bade  me  remain  here,  I'm  resolved 
rather  to  risk  a  mishap  along  with  emolument.  (Exit. 

1  Played  me  a  pretty  trick) — Ver.  623.  "  Sublevit  os."  "  Sublinere  os"  means 
"  to  paint  the  face  secretly,"  in  allusion  to  the  practical  joke  of  so  doing  when  a 
person  is  asleep,  and  thereby  making  a  fool  of  him. 

2  Would  as  soon  give)— Ver.  626.  That  is,  "not  at  all."  Hesf.ys  "thank 
you"  to  the  raven,  but  he  would  be  as  likely  to  give  it  a  scrap  of  victuals  as  tc 
throw  it  away,  which  was  quite  repugnant  to  his  "jus  et  norma  vivendi,"  his  mod< 
of  life. 

3  Sylvanus) — Ver.  630.  Sylvanus  was  the  tutelary  Divinity  of  the  woodland* 
fields,  and  cattle.     Pigs  were  usually  offered  in  sacrifice  to  him. 


8c.  VI.  OK,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.       411 

Scene  VI. — Enter  Ltconides  and  Eunomia,  from  the 
house  o/'Megadortts. 

Ltc.  I've  told  you  all,  mother ;  as  well  as  I  do  myself, 
you  understand  all  about  the  daughter  of  Euclio.  Now,  1 
(lo  entreat  you,  my  mother,  make  mention  of  it  to  my  uncle, 
and  I  now  unask  of  you,  mother,  that  which  before  I  en- 
treated of  you,  to  conceal  this  from  Meg 'adorns. 

Eun.  You  know,  yourself,  that  what  you  desire  to  be  done, 
I  desire,  and  I  trust  that  I  shall  obtain  this  of  my  brother ; 
and  the  reason  is  good,  if  'tis  so  as  you  say,  that  in  a  drunken 
fit  you  debauched  this  damsel. 

Ltc.  Could  I,  my  mother,  tell  a  falsehood  in  your  presence  ? 

(Phaedra  cries  out  in  labour,  in  Euclio' s  house.)  I  die, 
my  nurse ;  my  pangs  are  coming  on !  I  entreat  thee  for  thy 
protection,  Juno  Lucina1 ! 

Ltc.  Ah !  my  mother,  I  see  a  more  convincing  proof  for 
you;  she's  crying  aloud — she's  in  the  pangs  of  labour. 

Eun.  Come  in-doors  here,  with  me,  my  son,  to  my  brother, 
that  I  may  obtain  a  grant  from  him  of  that  which  you  beg 
of  me. 

Ltc.  Go;  I'll. follow  you  this  instant,  mother.  (Etjkomia 
goes  into  the  house.)  But  my  servant,  Strobilus,  I  wonder 
where  he  is,  whom  I  ordered  to  wait  here  for  me.  JSTow  I 
reflect  with  myself,  if  he's  lending  me  his  assistance,  it  isn't 
fair  that  I  should  be  angry  with  him.  I'll  go  in-doors,  where 
they  are  sitting  in  judgment2  upon  my  life.  {Goes  into  the 
house  o/'Megadorus.) 

Act  V. — Scene  I. 
Enter  Strobilus,  with  the  pot  of  money. 
Stro.  I,  by  myself,  exceed  the  riches  of  the  Griffins3,  who 

Juno  Lucina) — Ver.  646.  Juno  Lucina  was  the  Goddess  who  presided  over 
childbirth.  Some  suppose  that  the  Goddess  Diana  was  called  by  that  name ;  but 
(although  Diana  was  also  addressed  by  parturient  females)  it  is  more  likely  that 
Juno  was  addressed  under  the  title.  A  similar  circumstance  to  this  takes  place 
in  the  Andria  and  the  Adelphi  of  Terence. 

2  They  are  sitting  in  judgment) — Ver.  654.  "  Ubi  de  capite  meo  sunt  Comitia." 
Literally,  "  where,  then,  are  the  Comitia  about  my  life."  Trials  were  held  before 
the  "  Comitia  centuriata,"  or  assemblies  of  the  people,  at  Rome,  to  which  reference 
is  here  made.  He  alludes  to  the  discussion  between  Eunomia  and  Megadorus,  on 
the  marriage  of  the  latter  with  Phaedra. 

Riches  of  the  Griffins) — Ver.  655.  Pici. "  Picis"  would  be  a  better  reading  here, 
ard  ought  to  be  adopted,  unless  we  agree  with  some  of  the  Commentators,  who 


412  AXJLTTLAIIIA'  Act  V 

inhabit  the  golden  mountains.  For  I'm  unwilling  to  make 
mention  of  those  other  kings,  beggarly  fellows — I  am  the 
king  Philip.  O  charming  day !  for  when  I  went  from  here, 
just  now,  I  arrived  there  much  the  first,  and,  long  before,  I 
placed  myself  in  a  tree,  and  thence  observed  where  the  old 
fellow  hid  the  gold.  When  he  departed  thence,  I  let  myself 
down  from  the  tree,  and  dag  up  the  pot  full  of  gold.  Thence, 
from  that  spot,  I  saw  the  old  fellow  betaking  himself  back 
again ;  he  didn't  see  me,  for  I  turned  a  little  on  one  side,  out 
of  the  path.  Heyday  !  here  he  comes  himself.  I'll  go  and 
hide  this  away,  at  home.  (Goes  into  the  house  o/'Mega.dorus.) 

Scene  II. — Enter  Etjclio,  tearing  his  hair  and  wringing  his 
hands. 
Euc.  I'm  ruined !  I'm  done  for !  I'm  murdered !  "Whither 
shall  I  run?  Whither  not  run?  Stop  him — stop  Mm.  Whom? 
who  ?  I  don't  know.  I  see  nothing !  I'm  going  blindfold ; 
and,  in  fact,  whither  I  am  going,  or  where  I  am,  or  who  I  am, 
I  can't  in  my  mind  find  out  for  certain.  (To  the  Audience.) 
I  beseech  you,  give  me  your  aid  (I  beg  awe?  entreat  of  you),  and 
point  me  out  the  person  that  has  taken  it  away.  What's  the 
matter  ?  Why  do  you  laugh  ?  I'm  acquainted  with  you  all ; 
I  know  that  there  are  many  thieves  here,  who  conceal  them- 
selves with  white  clothes  and  chalk1,  and  sit  as  though  they 
were  honest !  (To  one  of  the  Spectators.)  What  say  you  ? 
You  I'm  resolved  to  believe ;  for  I  perceive,  qven  by  your 
looks,  that  you  are  honest.  Well  then,  none  of  these  has  got 
it  ?  You've  been  the  death  of  me  !  Tell  me,  then,  who  has  got 
it?  You  don't  know?  Oh,  wretched,  wretched  me !  I'm  done 
for!  wofully  undone!  In  most  sorry  plight  I  go;  so  much  groan- 
ing, and  misfortune,  and  sorrow,  has  this  day  brought  upon  me, 

think  that  Strobilus  begins  a  sentence,  and  then,  in  the  exuberance  of  his  joy, 
breaks  out  into  an  expression  of  a  different  construction  from  that  originally  in- 
tended. It  may,  however,  possibly  be,  as  Hildyard  suggests,  the  "  nominativus 
pendens,"  which  is  not  unfrequently  used  by  Plautus.  The  Pici  here  alluded  to 
were  Griffins,  or  fabulous  monsters,  who  were  said  to  watch  the  treasures  of  the 
Arimaspi,  a  people  of  the  north  of  Scythia,  mentioned  by  Herodotus,  who  were 
said  to  possess  mountains  of  gold;  in  which  story,  no  doubt,  the  Uralian  moun- 
tians  were  alluded  to. 

1  White  clothes  and  c7ialk)—Ver.  673.  The  Romans  were  much  in  the  habit  of 
iiaving  their  woollen  "  toga?"  made  extremely  white  by  chalk,  pipeclay,  and  the 
fuller's  art.  He  alludes  to  white  garments  covering  bad  manners,  much  as  in  J 
Scripture  whited  sepulchres  are  mentioned  as  being  full  of  uncleanness. 


Sc.  III.       OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  413 

hunger  and  poverty,  too.  I'm  the  most  utterly  ruined  of  all 
men  upon  the  earth  !  For  what  need  of  life  have  I,  who  have 
lost  so  much  gold  that  I  so  carefully  watched  ?  I  pinched 
myself,  and  my  inclinations,  and  my  very  heart1 !  Now  others 
are  rejoicing  at  this,  my  loss  and  my  misfortune  !  I  cannot 
endure  it.     {He  runs  about,  crying  and  stamping.) 

Scene  III. — ifoter LYCoxiDESj/hm  the  house  q/'M egadorus. 

Ltc.  "What  person,  I  wonder,  is  this  before  our  house 
lamenting,  and  that  utters  complaints  with  his  moaning? 
Why,surely,  this  is  Euclio,  as  I  imagine.  I'm  utterly  undone ! 
The  tiling's  all  out ;  he  knows  now,  as  I  suppose,  that  his 
daughter  is  brought  to  bed.  I'm  in  a  state  of  uncertainty 
now  what  I  shall  do,  whether  go  or  remain,  accost  him  or  fly. 

Euc.  What  person  is  it  that  speaks  there  ? 

Lyc.  'Tis  I,  wretch  that  I  am. 

Euc.  Tes,  and  so  am  I,  and  wretchedly  ruined,  whose  lot 
is  misfortune  so  great  and  sorrow. 

Lyc.  Be  of  good  courage.   Euc.  How,  prithee,  can  I  be  so  ? 

Lyc.  Because  that  deed  which  is  afflicting  your  mind,  I 
did  it,  and  I  confess  it. 

Euc.  What  is  it  I  hear  from  you  ? 

Lyc.  That  which  is  the  truth.  Euc.  What  evil,  young 
man,  have  I  deserved,  by  reason  of  which  you  should  do  thus, 
and  go  to  ruin  both  me  and  my  children  ? 

Lyc  A  Divinity  was  my  prompter ;  he  prompted  me  to 
do  it2. 

Euc.  How  ?  Lyc.  I  confess  that  I  have  done  wrong,  and 
I  know  that  I  deserve  censure ;  for  that  reason  I'm  come  to 
beseech  you,  that,  with  feelings  assuaged,  you  will  pardon  me. 

Euc.  Why  did  you  dare  do  so,  to  touch  that  which  was.  not 
your  own  ? 

1  And  my  very  heart)—  Ver.  682.  "  Geniumque  meum."  Literally,  "and  my 
Genius,''  i.  e.  "  my  social  disposition"  or  "  capacity  for  enjoyment.' 

2  Prompted  me  to  do  it) — Ver.  694.  "  Ad  illam  illexit."  Literally,  "  enticed  me 
tc  her."  The  humour  of  the  whole  scene  turns  upon  Euclio  and  Lyconides 
mistaking  the  meaning  of  each  other — the  former  thinking  that  the  latter  is 
speaking  about  the  "  aula,"  or  "  pot,"  while  the  latter  fancies  that  Euclio  is 
'amenting  the  mishap  of  his  daughter.  In  the  Latin  language,  the  word  "  aula" 
is  o:  the  feminine  gender,  by  reason  of  which  the  misunderstanding  is  much  more 
natural  tnan  it  would  be  in  the  English  language.  In  consequence,  some  little 
latitude  in  the  translation  is  absolutely  necessary  to  sustain  the  equivoque  of  the 
original 


114  AULULA.RIA  ;  Act  V. 

Ly?.  What  do  rou  wish  to  be  done  ?  The  thing  has  been 
done ;  it  can't  be  undone.  I  believe  that  the  Gods  willed 
it,  for  if  they  hain't  willed  it,  I  know  it  wouldn't  have 
happened. 

Euc.  But  I  believe  that  the  Gods  have  willed  that  I  should 
be  the  death  of  you  in  fetters. 

Ltc.  Don't  say  that!  Euc.  What  business  then  have 
you  to  touch  what  is  my  own  against  my  will  ? 

Ltc.  Because  I  did  it  under  the  evil  influence  of  wine  and 
love. 

Euc.  Most  audacious  man,  that  you  should  dare  to  come 
here  to  me  with  that  speech,  you  impudent  fellow  !  For  if 
this  is  lawful,  so  that  you  may  be  able  to  excuse  it — let  us 
openly,  in  broad  daylight,  plunder  their  golden  trinkets  from 
ladies — after  that,  if  we  are  caught,  let  us  excuse  ourselves, 
that  we  did  it  when  intoxicated,  by  reason  of  being  in  love. 
Too  cheap  are  wine  and  love,  if  one  in^liquor  and  in  love  is 
allowed  to  do  with  impunity  whatever  he  pleases. 

Lyc.  But  I  come  to  you  of  my  own  accord  to  supplicate 
you  on  account  of  my  folly. 

Euc.  Persons  don't  please  me,  who,  when  they've  done 
wrong,  excuse  themselves.  You  knew  that  you  had  no 
right  there  ;  you  oughtn't  to  have  touched1. 

Lyc.  Therefore,  inasmuch  as  I  did  dare  to  touch,  I  make 
no  objection  to  keep  by  all  means. 

Euc.  Tou,  keep  what  is  my  own  against  my  will  ? 

Lyc.  Against  your  will,  I  do  not  ask ;  but  I  think  that 
that  which  was  yours  ought  to  be  mine2.  Moreover,  Euclio, 
you'll  find,  I  say,  that  mine  it  ought  to  be. 

Euc.  Now  really,  on  my  word,  I'll  drag  you  to  the 
Praetor  and  take  proceedings3  against  you,  unless  you  make 
restitution. 

1  You  oughtn't  to  have  touched') — Ver  711.  "  Tu  illam  scibas  non  tuam  esse: 
non  attactam  aportuit "  This  literally,  speaking  of  the  pot  (aula)  as  of  the 
feminine  gender,  would  mean  "  you  knew  that  she  was  not  your  own ;  it  was  not 
fitting  for  her  to  be  touched.''  This  of  course  helps  to  confirm  Lyconides  in  the 
impression  that  Euclio  is  speaking  of  his  daughter. 

2  Ought  to  be  mine) — Ver.  714.  Lyconides  here  alludes  to  a  law  which  pre- 
vailed at  Rome,  whereby,  when  a  person  had  seduced  a  freeborn  female,  he  was 
obliged  either  to  marry  her  himself  without  a  portion,  or  else  to  give  her  such  a 
portion  as  was  suitable  to  her  station.  Lyconides  means  to  say  that  he  shall 
exercise  the  former  right. 

*  And  take  proceedings} — Ver.  716.  "  Scribam  dicam."     "  Dica"  was  a  nam'1 


8c.  III.       OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  415 

Ltc.  Make  restitution  of  what  to  you  ? 
Euc.  What  you've  stolen  of  mine. 
Ltc.  I,  stolen  of  yours  ?     Whence,  or  what  is  it  ? 
Euc.  So  shall  Jupiter  love  you,  how  ignorant  you  are 
about  it ! 

Ltc.  Unless,  indeed,  you  tell  me  what  you  are  enquiring 
for. 

Euc.  The  pot  of  gold,  I  say,  I'm  asking  back  of  yon,  which 
you  confessed  to  me  that  you  had  taken  away. 

Ltc.  By  my  faith,  I've  neither  said  so,  nor  have  I  done  it. 
Euc.  Do  you  deny  it  ?      Ltc.  Tes,  I  do  utterly  deny  it ; 
for  neither  the  gold  nor  yet  this  pot,  what  it  means,  do  I 
know  or  understand. 

Euc.  Give  me  up  that  pot  which  you  took  away  from  the 
wood  of  Sylvanus.  Come,  give  it  me  back !  I  would 
rather  give  you  the  one-half  of  it.  Although  you  are  a  thief 
to  me,  I'll  not  be  hard  upon  the  thief.  Grive  it  me 
back. 

Ltc.  Tou  are  not  in  your  senses,  to  call  me  a  thief;  I 
thought,  Euclio,  that  you  had  come  to  the  knowledge  of 
another  matter ;  as  concerns  myself,  it  is  a  great  matter 
which  I  wish  to  speak  with  you  upon  at  your  leisure,  if  you 
are  at  leisure. 

Euc.  Tell  me,  in  good  faith,  have  vou  not  stolen  that 
gold? 

Ltc.  In  good  faith,  Iso.  Euc.  Nor  know  who  has  taken 
it  away  ? 

Lyc.  In  good  faith,  No,  to  that  as  well. 
Euc.  But  if  you  should  know  who  has  taken  it  away,  will 
you  discover  it  to  me  ? 

Ltc.  I  will  do  so.      Euc.  JNTor  accept  of  a  share  from  him, 
whoever  he  is,  for  yourself,  nor  harbour  the  thief  ? 
Ltc.  Even  so.     Euc.  "What  if  you  deceive  me  ? 
Ltc.  Then  may   great   Jupiter    do  unto    me    what   he 
pleases. 

Euc.  I'm  satisfied.     Come,  then,  say  what  you  wish. 
Ltc.  If  you  know  me  but  imperfectly,  of  what  family  I'm 
born:  Megadorus  here  is  my  uncle;   Antimachus  was  my 
father  ;  my  name  is  Lyconides  ;  Eunomia  is  my  mother. 

derived  from  the  Greek,  for  an  "  indictment,"  "  writ,"  or  "  process,"  by  which 
an  action  was  commenced. 


416  AULULAKiA  ;  Act  V 

Ere.  I  know  the  family ;  now,  what  do  you  want  ? 

Ltc.  I  want  to  know  this.  You  have  a  daughter  01 
yours  ? 

Etjc.  Why,  yes,  she's  there  at  home. 

Ltc.  Tou  have,  I  think,  recently  betrothed  her  to  my 
uncle  ? 

Euc.  Tou  have  the  whole  matter.  Ltc.  He  has  now  bade 
me  announce  to  you  his  refusal  of  her1. 

Etjc.  A  refusal,  when  the  things  are  got  ready,  and  the 
wedding's  prepared  ?  May  all  the  immortal  Gods  and  God- 
desses confound  him,  so  far  as  is  possible,  by  reason  of  whom 
this  day,  unhappy  wretch  that  lam,  I  have  lost  so  much  gold! 

Ltc.  Be  of  good  heart,  and  speak  in  kindly  terms ;  now, 
a  thing — may  it  turn  out  well  and  prosperously  to  you  and 
your  daughter. — May  the  Gods  so  grant — say. 

Euc.  May  the  Gods  so  grant.  Ltc.  And  for  me,  too, 
may  the  Gods  so  grant  it.  Now,  then,  do  you  listen.  The 
man  that  admits  a  fault  is  not  so  much  to  be  despised,  if 
he  feels  a  sense  of  shame  when  he  excuses  himself.  Now, 
Euclio,  I  do  beseech  you,  that  what  unawares  I  have  done 
-*Tong  towards  yourself  or  your  daughter,  you  Mill  grant  me 
pardon  for  the  same,  and  give  her  for  a  wife  to  me,  as  the 
laws  demand.  I  confess  that  I  did  violence  to  your  daughter, 
on  the  festival  of  Ceres,  by  reason  of  wine  and  the  impulse 
of  youth. 

Euc.  Woe  is  me !    What  shocking  deed  do  I  hear  of  you  ? 

Ltc.  Why  do  you  exclaim  ?  You  whom  I've  made  to  be 
a  grandfather  now  at  the  very  wedding  of  your  daughter. 
Eor  your  daughter  has  just  been  brought  to  bed  in  the  ninth 
month  after — calculate  the  number2 ;  for  that  reason,  in  my 
behalf,  has  my  uncle  sent  his  refusal.  Go  in-doors ;  enquire 
whether  it  is  so  or  not  as  I  say. 

Euc.  I'm  undone  utterly ;  so  very  many  misfortunes  unite 
themselves  for  my  undoing.  I'll  go  in-doors,  that  I  may 
know  what  of  this  is  true.     {He  goes  into  his  house.) 

!  His  refusal  of  her) — Ver.  740.  "  Repudium."  The  rejection  of  i  person 
after  being  betrothed  was  called  "repudium;"  while  the  putting-away  of  a  mar- 
ried woman  by  her  husband  was  called  "  divortium." 

-  Calculate  tie  number) — Ver.  755.  "  Numeram  cape."  He  probably  means 
by  this,  "  calculate  the  time"  since  the  festival  of  Ceres,  when  this  misforcuue 
happened. 


Sc  IV.  OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASUltfl.  417 

Lyc.  I'll  follow  you  this  instant.  This  matter  seoms  now 
to  be  pretty  nearly  in  the  haven  of  safety.  Now,  where  to  say 
my  servant  Strobilus  is,  I  don't  know,  but  yet  I'll  wait 
here  still  a  little  while ;  after  that  I'll  follow  this  man  in- 
doors ;  now,  in  the  meantime,  I'll  give  him  leisure  to  enquire 
of  the  nurse  about  my  doings,  the  attendant  of  his  daugh- 
ter, whether  she  knows  the  truth.     (Moves  as  if  going.} 

Scene  IY. — Enter  Strobiltts,  at  a  distance. 

Stro.  (to  himself).  Immortal  Gods,  with  what  and  how 
great  delights  do  you  present  me !  I've  got  a  four  pound  pot 
filled  with  gold ;  who  there  is  richer  than  I  ?  What  man  is 
there  greater  than  I  at  Athens  now ;  any  one,  I  mean,  to 
whom  the  Gods  are  propitious  ? 

Lvc.  (to  himself).  Why,  surely,  I  seemed  just  now  to 
hear  the  voice  of  some  one  speaking  here. 

Stro.  (to  himself).  Ha!  do  I  not  see  my  master? 

Lyc.  (to  himself).  Do  I  see  Strobilus  now,  my  servant  ? 

Stro.  (to  himself).  'Tis  he  himself.  Lyc.  (to  himself). 
"lis  no  other. 

Stro.  (to  himself).  I'll  accost  him.  Lyc.  (to  himself). 
I'll  step  out1  towards  him.  I  do  think  that  he  has  been,  as 
I  requested  him,  to  the  old  woman,  the  nurse  herself  of  this 
damsel. 

Stro.  (to  himself).  Why  don't  I  tell  him  that  I've  found 
this  prize,  and  speak  out  ?  For  that  reason,  I'll  beg  of  him 
to  make  me  free.  I'll  go  and  speak  to  him.  (Addressing 
him.)  I've  found 

Lyc.  What  have  you  found  ?  Stro.  Not  that  which  the 
boys  cry  out  that  they've  found  in  the  bean2. 

Lyc.  And  are  you  trifling  with  me  then,  as  you  are  in  the 
habit  of  doing  ?    (He  turns  as  if  to  go  away.) 

Stro.  Master,  stop ;  I'll  speak  out  then ;  do  listen. 

1  Fit  step  out) — Ver.  770.  It  must  be  supposed  that  Strobilus  is  a  good 
I  way  down  a  street,  which  emerges  on  the  stage  right  opposite  the  Spectators ; 
JwhileLyconides  is  in  the  front  of  the  stage,  and  consequently  beyond  the  nearer 
lend  of  the  street. 

2  Found  in  the  lean) — Ver.  775.  This  is  explained  as  meaning  a  little  worm 
weevil,  which  boys  used  to  seek  for  in  beans  and  other  pulse,  and  which  they 
lied  "  Midas  " 

2e 


418  aulularia;  Act  V. 

Ltc.  Come  then,  tell  me.  Stro.  I've  found  to-day,  master, 
very  great  riches. 

Ltc.  Where,  pray  ?  Stro.  A  four  pound  pot1,  I  say,  full 
of  gold ! 

Ltc.  What  crime  is  this  that  I  hear  of  from  you  ? 

Stro.  I've  stolen  it  from  this  old  fellow,  Euclio. 

Ltc.  Where  is  this  gold  ?  Stro.  In  my  box  at  home ; 
I  now  wish  to  be  made  free. 

Ltc.  I,  make  you  free,  you  fellow,  brimful  of  wickedness  ? 

Stro.  Out  upon  you,  master,  I  know  what  you  would  be 
at.  Troth,  I've  cleverly  tried  your  inclination ;  you  were 
just  getting  ready  to  take  it  away  from  me ;  what  would  you 
do,  if  I  had  found  it  r 

Ltc.  You  can't  make  good  your  pretences.  Come,  give 
up  the  gold ! 

Stro.  I,  give  up  the  gold  ?  Ltc.  Give  it  up,  I  say,  that 
it  may  be  given  back  to  him. 

Stro.  Where  am  I  to  get  it  from  ?  Ltc.  That  which  you 
confessed  just  now  to  be  in  your  box. 

Stro.  I'  faith,  I'm  in  the  habit  of  talking  nonsense  ;  'twas 
in  that  way  I  was  speaking. 

Ltc.  {seizing  him).  But  do  you  know  what  ? 

Stro.  Even  kill  me  outright,  i'  faith,  you  never  shall  get 
it  hence  of  me  *  *  *  *2 

A  SUPPLEMENT  TO  THE  AULULARIA  BT  CODRTTS  URCETTS. 

Stro.  the  pot  belonging  to  the  old  fellow,  which  I've 

not  got. 

Ltc.  I  will  have  it,  whether  you  will  or  no ;  when  I've 
tied  you  up  all  fours,  and  torn  asunder  your  body  for  you 
tied  up  to  the  beam.  But  why  do  I  delay  to  rush  upon  the 
jaws  of  this  rascal,  and  why  this  instant  do  I  not  compel  his 

1  A  four  pound  pot') — Ver.  777.  "  Quadrilibris"  probably  alludes  to  the  capacity 
of  the  pot,  and  not  its  weight.  It  was  probably  a  jar  made  to  contain  four  pounds 
weight  of  liquid. 

2  *  *  *  The  rest  of  this  Play  is  unfortunately  lost.  From  the  Acrostic  Argument 
which  is  prefixed  to  the  Play,  we  learn  that  Lyconides  obtained  the  gold,  ana  gave 
it  up  to  Euclio,  who  presented  it  to  him  as  a  marriage-portion  with  his  daughter. 
Ii  some  of  the  Editions  there  is  a  Supplement  to  the  last  Scene,  written  in  a  ve 
meagre  style  by  some  unknown  author,  which  is  not  worth  presenting  to  the 
reader  The  Supplementby  Antonius  Codrus  Urceus,  a  learned  scholar  and  pro- 
fessor at  Bologna,  is  certainly  somewhat  superior,  and,  such  as  it  is,  a  translatioi 


Sc.  V.         OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  419 

soul  to  take  its  journey  before  its  time1  ?  Are  you  going 
to  give  it  me  or  not  ? 

Stro.  I  will  give  it  you.  Lyc.  I  want  you  to  give  it  me 
now,  and  not  at  a  future  time. 

Stro.  I'll  give  it  now ;  but  I  entreat  you  to  allow  me  to 
recover  breath.  (Lyconides  lets  him  go.)  Aha!  "What  is 
it  you  want  me  to  give  you,  master  ? 

Lyc.  Don't  you  know,  you  rascal  ?  And  do  you  dare  to  re- 
fuse me  the  four  pound  pot  full  of  gold  which  you  just  now 
said  you  had  stolen?  (Calling  at  the  door.)  Hallo  there! 
Where  now  are  the  flogging  men  ? 

Stro.  Master,  do  hear  a  few  words.  Lyc.  I  won't  hear ; 
floggers,  hallo  there — hallo ! 

Scene  V. — Enter  two  elogging  Slaves. 

Slave.  What's  the  matter  ?  Lyc.  I  want  the  chains  to 
be  got  ready. 

Stro.  Listen  to  me,  I  beg  of  you ;  afterwards  order  them 
to  bind  me  as  much  as  you  please. 

Lyc.  I  will  hear  you ;  but  hasten  the  matter  very  quickly. , 

Stro.  If  you  order  me  to  be  tortured  to  death,  see  what 
you  obtain ;  in  the  first  place,  you  have  the  death  of  your  slave. 
Then,  what  you  wish  for  you  cannot  get.  But  if  you  had 
only  allured  me  by  the  reward  of  dear  liberty,  you  would 
already  have  obtained  your  wish.  Nature  produces  all  men 
free,  and  by  nature  all  desire  freedom.  Slavery  is  worse  than 
every  evil,  than  every  calamity  ;  and  he  whom  Jupiter  hates, 
him  he  first  makes  a  slave. 

Lyc.  Tou  speak  not  unwisely.  Stro.  JSTow  then  hear  the 
rest.  Our  age  has  produced  masters  too  grasping,  whom 
I'm  in  the  habit  of  calling  llarpagos,  Harpies,  and  Tantali, 
poor  amid  great  wealth,  and  thirsty  in  the  midst  of  the  waters 
of  Ocean ;  no  riches  are  enough  for  them,  not  those  of  Midas, 
not  of  Croesus  ;  not  all  the  wealth  of  the  Persians  can  satisfy 

of  it  is  here  presented  to  the  reader.  Its  chief  fault  is,  that  it  indicates  a  greater 
change  in  the  nature  of  the  mi.ser  than  is  consistent  with  probability.  Though 
Plautus  doubtless  depicted  him  as  giving  up  the  gold  to  his  new  son-in-law,  it 
was  probably  on  some  other  ground  than  a  change  of  disposition. 

1  Before  its  time) — The  expression  used  here  by  Urceus  is  capable  of  tv? 
of  translation ;  the  most  delicate  one  has  been  preferred. 

2a2 


420  ATJLTJLAEIA  ;  Act  Y. 

their  Tartarean  maw.  Masters  use  their  slaves  rigorously, 
and  slaves  now  obey  their  masters  but  tardily ;  so  on  neither 
side  is  that  done  which  would  be  fair  to  be  done.  Their 
provisions,  kitchens,  and  store-cellars,  avaricious  old  fellows 
shut  up  with  a  thousand  keys.  Slaves,  thievish,  double- 
dealers,  and  artful,  open  for  themselves  things  shut  up 
with  a  thousand  keys,  which  the  oivners  hardly  like  to  be 
granted  to  their  lawful  children,  and  stealthily  do  they  carry 
off,  consume,  and  lick  them  up— -fellows  that  will  never  dis- 
close their  hundred  thefts  even  at  the  gibbet ;  thus  in  laughter 
and  joking  do  bad  slaves  take  revenge  upon  their  slavery.  So 
then,  I  come  to  the  conclusion  that  liberality  renders  slaves 
faithful. 

Lyc.  Hightly,  indeed,  have  you  spoken,  but  not  in  a  few 
words,  as  you  promised  me.  But  if  I  do  make  you  free,  will 
you  give  me  back  what  I'm  asking  for  ? 

Steo.  I  will  give  it  back ;  but  I  wish  for  witnesses  to  be 
present ;  you'll  pardon  me,  master,  I  trust  you  but  little. 

Lyc.  Just  as  you  please ;  let  there  be  present  even  a  hun- 
dred ;  then  I  shouldn't  care  about  it. 

Steo.  {going  to  the  door  of  the  house  of  Megadoetjs). 
Megadorus,  and  you,  Eunomia,  please  come  here,  I  beg  of 
you ;  the  business  finished,  you  shall  return  directly. 

.Scene  YI. — Enter  Megadoetjs  aw  J  Eunomia. 

Meg.  Who's  calling  us?  Ha!  Lyconides!  Eun.  Ha! 
Strobilus,  what  is  the  matter  ?     Say. 

Lyc.  'Tis  a  short  matter.      Meg.  "What  is  it  ? 

Steo.  I'm  calling  you  as  witnesses.  If  I  bring  here  a 
four  pound  pot  full  of  gold  and  give  it  up  to  Lyconides,  Lyco- 
nides makes  me  a  free  man,  and  orders  me  to  be  my  own 
master.     {To  Lyconides.)    Do  you  not  promise  me  so  ? 

Lyc.  I  do  promise  so.  Steo.  Have  you  heard  now  what 
he  has  said  ? 

Meg.  We  have  heard.      Steo.  Swear,  then,  by  Jupiter. 

Lyc.  Alas !  to  what  I  am  reduced  by  the  misfortunes  of 
others !  You  are  too  insulting ;  still,  I'll  do  what  he  bids 
me. 

Steo.  Hark  jou,  our  generation  hasn't  much  confidence 
in  people :  the  documents  are  signed ;  the  twelve  witnesses 


Sc.  VIII.      OR,  THE  CONCEALED  TREASURE.  421 

are  present;  the  registrar  writes  down  the  time  and  the 
place ;  and  still,  the  pleader  is  found  to  deny  that  it  has  been 
done. 

Ltc.  But  release  me  speedily,  please. 

Stro.  Here,  take  this  stone.     (Giving  Mm  a  stone.) 

Ltc.  If  I  knowingly  deceive  you,  so  may  Jupiter  reject 
from  me  his  blessings,  the  city  and  citadel  safe,  as  I  do  this 
stone.     (He  throws  it.)     Have  I  now  satisfied  you  ? 

Stro.  I  am  satisfied ;  and  I'm  going  to  bring  the  gold. 

Ltc.  Gro  with  the  speed  of  Pegasus,  and  return  devouring 
the  road  with  your  rapid  steps.  (Exit  Strobilus.)  Any 
impertinent  slave,  that  wishes  to  be  more  wise  than  his  master, 
is  a  nuisance  to  a  decent  man.  Let  this  Strobilus  be  off  as  a 
free  man  to  utter  perdition,  if  he  only  brings  me  the  pot  full 
of  pure  gold,  so  that  I  may  restore  Euclio,  my  father-in-law, 
from  his  grief  to  joy,  and  obtain  the  favour  of  his  daughter, 
who  is  just  brought  to  bed  by  reason  of  my  debauching  her. 
But  see !  Strobilus  is  returning,  loaded ;  as  I  guess,  he's 
bringing  the  pot ;  and,  for  sure,  it  is  the  pot  that  he's  car- 
rying. 

Scene  VII. — Enter  Strobilus,  carrying  the  pot  of  gold. 

Stro.  Lyconides,  I  bring  you  my  findings  that  I  pro- 
mised— the  four  pound  pot  of  gold  ;  have  I  been  long  ? 

Ltc.  Why,  yes.  (He  takes  some  of  the  gold  out  of  the  pot.) 
0  immortal  Grods,  what  do  I  behold  ?  Or  what  is  it  I  hold  ? 
More  than  six  hundred  Philippean  pieces,  three  or  four  times 
over.     But  let's  call  out  Euclio  forthwith. 

Scene  VIII. 

Ltc.  (going  to  the  door  of  Euclio's  house).  Ho,  Euclio, 
Euclio ! 

Me«g.  Euclio;  Euclio !     Euc.  (opening  his  window).  What' 
the  matter  ? 

Ltc.  Come  down  to  us,  for  the  Gods  will  you  to  be 
saved ;  we've  got  the  pot. 

Euc.  Have  you  got  it,  or  are  you  trifling  with  me  ? 

Ltc.  We've  got  it,  I  say.  Now,  if  you  can,  fly  down 
hither. 

Euc.  (having  come  out  of  the  house  to  theni).  0  great  Ju- 
piter !    O  household  Divinity  and  Queen  Juno !  and  Alcides, 


422  aultjlaeia.  Act  V. 

my  treasurer !   that  at   length  you  do   show  pity  upon  a 
wretched  old  man.    {Taking  the  pot  in  his  arms.)    O  my  pot ! 

0  how  aged  I,  your  friend,  do  clasp  you  with  joyf  il  arms, 
and  receive  you  with  kisses  ;  with  a  thousand  embraces  even 

1  cannot  be  satisfied.     O  my  hope !  my  heart !  thrt  dissi- 
pates my  grief. 

Ltc.  {aside,  to  Megadoeus).  I  always  thought  thnt  to  be 
.TL  want  of  gold  was  the  worst  thing  for  both  boys  and  n  en,  and 
all  old  people.  Indigence  compels  boys  to  be  guilty  of  mis- 
deeds, men  to  thieve,  and  old  men  themselves  to  beco  ne  beg- 
gars. But  'tis  much  worse,  as  I  now  see,  to  abound  in  gold 
beyond  what's  necessary  for  us.  Alas !  what  misei  ies  has 
Euclio  endured  on  account  of  the  pot,  that  a  littL4  while 
jince  was  lost  by  him  ! 

Euc.  To  whom  shall  I  give  deserved  thanks  ?  Whe  ther  ta 
the  Grods,  who  show  regard  for  good  men,  or  to  my  friends, 
upright  men,  or  to  them  both  ?  Rather  to  both,  i  think ; 
and  first  to  you,  Lyconides,  the  origin  and  author  of  so  great 
a  good ;  you  do  I  present  with  this  pot  of  gold ;  accept  it 
with  pleasure.  I  wish  it  to  be  your  own,  and  my  daughter 
as  wrell,  in  the  presence  of  Megadorus,  and  his  good  sister, 
Eunomia. 

Ltc.  {receiving  the  pot  of  gold).  The  favour  is  received,  and 
is  returned,  in  thanks,  as  you  deserve,  Euclio,  a  father-in-law 
most  acceptable  to  me. 

Euc.  I  shall  think  the  favour  sufficiently  returned  to  me, 
if  you  now  receive  with  pleasure  my  gift,  and  myself  as  well 
for  your  father-in-law. 

Ltc.  I  do  receive  it ;  and  I  wish  my  house  to  be  thai;  of 
Euclio. 

Steo.  "What  still  remains,  master, — remember  now  that 
I'm  to  be  free. 

Ltc.  You've  well  put  me  in  mind.  Be  you  a  free  man, 
O  Strobilus,  for  your  deserts  ;  and  now  prepare  in-doors 
the  dinner  that  has  been  so  disturbed. 

Steo.  {coming  forward) .  Spectators,  the  avaricious  Euclio 
has  changed  his  nature  ;  he  has  suddenly  become  liberal ;  ho, 
too,  do  you  practise  liberality ;  and  if  the  play  has  pleoued 
vou  well,  loudly  clap  your  hands. 


CAPTIVT;   THE  CAPTIVES, 


Bramatts  persona?. 

Hegio,  an  iEtolian,  father  of  Philopolemus. 
Philocrates,  an  Elean,  captive  in  iEtolia. 
Tyndarus,  his  servant. 
Aristophontes,  an  Elean,  captive  in  iEtolia. 
Philopolemus,  an  iEtolian,  captive  in  Elis. 
Ergasilus,  a  Parasite. 
Stalagmus,  the  servant  of  Hegio. 
A  Slave  of  Hegio. 
A  Lad,  the  same. 

ibcne.— A  place  in  vEtolia,  before  the  house  ol  iLfUUQ, 


THE    SUBJECT. 


Hegio,  a  wealthy  native  of  jEtolia,  had  two  sons,  one  of  which  was  stolen  by  a  sLitc 
when  four  years  old,  and  being  carried  away  to  Elis,  was  sold  there ;  the  father 
being  unable  for  many  years  to  learn  what  has  become  of  him.  A  war  having 
commenced  between  the  Eleans  and  the  iEtolians,  Philopolemus,  the  other  son 
of  Hegio,  is  taken  prisoner  by  the  Eleans.  The  iEtolians  having  taken  many 
Elean  prisoners,  Megio  commences  to  traffic  in  captives,  with  the  view  of  thereb 
redeeming  his  son  from  the  Eleans,  in  exchange  for  some  prisoner  of  rank.  A  - 
this  conjuncture  the  Play  commences.  Among  the  captives  whom  Hegio  has  pur- 
chased, Philocrates  is  one,  having  been  taken  prisoner,  together  with  his  ser- 
vant, Tyndarus.  With  the  object  of  deceiving  Hegio,  Philocrates  and  Tyndarus 
change  their  clothes,  and  having  exchanged  names  as  well,  Philocrates  pretends 
to  be  the  servant  of  Tyndarus.  Hegio  being  desirous  to  procure  the  ex- 
change of  his  son,  Philocrates  (in  the  character  of  the  servant  of  his  fellow- 
captive)  is  sent  to  Elis  for  that  purpose.  After  his  departure,  Aristophontes, 
another  captive,  accidentally  puts  Hegio  in  the  way  of  discovering  the  manner 
in  which  he  has  been  deceived.  On  this,  the  old  man,  losing  all  hope  of  obtaining 
the  liberation  of  his  son,  sends  Tyndarus  in  chains  to  the  stone-quarries. 
Shortly  after,  Philocrates  returns,  and  brings  with  him  Philopolemus,  the*  son 
of  Hegio,  and  Stalagmus,  the  runaway  slave,  that  had  stolen  his  other  son. 
It  is  then  discovered  that  Stalagmus  had  sol'd  the  child  to  the  father  of  Phi- 
locrates, and  that  he  is  no  other  than  Tyndarus,  tt:e  slave;  on  which,  Tyndarus 
is  sent  for,  and  is  informed  that  he  is  the  lost  son  of  Hegio.  Stalagmus  is  tli«o 
condemned  to  the  chains  from  which  Tyndarus  is  liberated. 


CAPTIVI ;  THE  CAPTIVES. 


THE  ACROSTIC  ARGUMENT*. 
[Supposed  to  have  been  written  by  Pnscian  the  Grammarian.] 
One  son  of  Hegio  has  been  made  prisoner  (Captus)  in  battle.  A  runaway  slave 
has  sold  the  other  (Alium)  when  four  years  old.  The  father  (Pater)  traffics  in 
Elean  captives,  only  (Tantum)  desirous  that  he  may  recover  his  son,  and  (Et) 
among  these  he  buys  his  son  that  was  formerly  lost.  He  (Is),  his  clothes 
and  his  name  changed  with  his  master,  causes  that  (Ut)  he  is  lost  to  Hegio ; 
and  he  himself  is  punished.  And  (Et)  he  brings  back  the  captive  and  the 
runaway  together,  through  whose  information  (Indicio)  he  discovers  his  other 
son. 


THE    PEOLOGUE. 

These  two  captives  (pointing  to  Philo crates  and  Tyn- 
jj  dartts),  whom  you  see  standing  here,  are  standing  here  be- 
cause  they  are  both2  standing,  and  are  not  sitting.     That 

I  am  saying  this  truly,  you  are  my  witnesses.  The  old  man, 
who  lives  here  (pointing  to  Heguo's  house),  is  Hegio — his 
father  (pointing  to  Tyndarus).  But  under  what  circum- 
stances he  is  the  slave  of  his  own  father,  that  I  will  here 
explain  to  you,  if  you  give  attention.  This  old  man  had 
two  sons ;  a  slave  stole  one  child  when  four  years  old, 
and  flying  hence,  he  sold  him  in  Elis3,  to  the  father  of  this 

1  In  this  Acrostic  it  will  be  found  that  the  old  form  of  "  Capteivei"  is  preserved. 

2  Because — they  are  both) — Ver.  2.  This  is  apparently  intended  as  a  piece  of 
humour,  in  catching  or  baulking  the  audience.  He  begins  as  though  he  was 
going  to  explain  why  the  captives  are  standing  there,  and  ends  his  explanation 
with  saying  that  they  are  standing  because  they  are  not  sitting.  A  similar 
truism  is  uttered  by  Pamphila,  in  the  Stichus,  1.  120. 

3  In  Elis) — Ver.  9.  Elis,  or,  as  it  is  called  by  Plautus,  "  Alls,"  was  a  city  of 
Achaia,  in  the  north-western  part  of  the  Peloponnesus.  Near  it  the  Olympic 
games  were  celebrated 


126  captiti  ; 

captive  {pointing  to  Philocrates).  Now,  do  you  under- 
stand this  ?  Very  good.  I'  faith,  that  man  at  a  distance1 
there  {pointing)  says,  no.  Come  nearer  then.  If  there  isn't 
room  for  you  to  sit  down,  there  is  for  you  to  walk ;  since 
you'd  be  compelling  an  actor  to  bawl  like  a  beggar2.  I'm 
not  going  to  burst  myself  for  your  sake,  so  don't  you  be  mis- 
taken. You  who  are  enabled  by  your  means  to  pay  your 
taxes3,  listen  to  the  rest4 ;  I  care  not  to  be  in  debt  to  another. 
This  runaway  slave,  as  I  said  before,  sold  his  young  master, 
whom,  when  he  fled,  he  had  carried  off,  to  this  one's  father. 
He,  after  he  bought  him,  gave  him  as  his  own  private  slave5 

1  That  man  at  a  distance) — Ver.  11.  One  of  the  audience,  probably  a  plebeian 
who  has  no  seat,  but  is  standing  in  a  remote  part  of  the  theatre,  is  supposed  to 
exclaim  in  a  rude  manner  that  he  cannot  hear  what  the  actor  says.  On  this  the 
speaker  tells  him  that  he  had  better  come  nearer ;  and  if  he  cannot  find  a  seat, 
there  is  room  for  him  to  walk  away.  Possibly  the  verb  "ambulo"  may  be  in- 
tended to  signify  in  this  case  either  "  to  walk"  or  "  to  stand,"  in  contradistinction 
to  sitting.  Rost,  with  some  reason,  suggests  "  abscedito,"  "  walk  out,"  in  place  of 
"  accedito,"  "  come  nearer." 

2  To  bawl  like  a  beggar) — Ver.  13.  Commentators  have  differed  as  to  the 
meaning  of  this  passage.  Some  think  that  he  means  that  with  the  view  of 
pleasing  the  plebeian  part  of  the  audience,  he  shall  not  bawl  out  like  a  beggar 
asking  alms ;  while  others  suppose  that  the  meaning  is,  that  he  will  not  run  the 
risk  of  cracking  his  voice,  after  which  he  will  be  hissed  off  the  stage,  and  so  be 
reduced  to  beggary. 

3  To  pay  your  taxes) — Ver.  1 5.  By  this  he  shows  that  the  party  whom  he 
is  addressing,  is  either  one  of  the  lowest  plebeians  or  a  slave.  In  the  assess- 
ment or  census,  which  was  made  by  the  Censors,  the  slaves  were  not  numbered 
at  all,  being  supposed  to  have  no  "  caput,"  or  "  civil  condition."  The  lowest  cen- 
tury were  the  "  proletarii,"  whose  only  qualification  was  the  being  heads  of  fami- 
lies, or  fathers  of  children.  In  addressing  those  who  are  reckoned  in  the  census 
"  ope  vestra,"  "  by  your  means"  or  "  circumstances,"  he  seems  to  be  rebuking  the 
"  proletarii,"  who  had  no  such  standing,  and  who  probably  formed  the  Kiost  noisy 
part  of  the  audience.  As  these  paid  no  part  of  the  taxes  with  which  the  theatres 
were  in  part  supported,  of  course  they  would  be  placed  at  a  greater  distance  from 
the  stage,  and  probably  were  not  accommodated  with  seats.  It  was  just  about 
this  period  that  the  elder  Scipio  assigned  different  places  in  the  theatres  to  the 
various  classes  of  the  people. 

4  Listen  to  the  rest) — Ver.  16.  "  Reliquum"  was  a  term  which  either  signified 
generally,  "  what  is  left,"  or  money  borrowed  and  still  unpaid.  He  plays  upon 
these  different  meanings — "  Accipite  reliquum,"  which  may  either  signify  "  hear 
the  rest"  or  "  take  what  is  due  and  owing,"  and  he  then  makes  the  observation, 
parenthetically,  "  alieno  uti  nil  moror,"  "  I  don't  care  to  be  in  debt." 

5  His  own  private  slave) — Ver.  20.  "  Peculiaris"  means  "for  his  own  private 
ose,"  or  "  attached  to  his  person  i"  beinjs  considered  as  though  bought  with  bu 


THE  CAPTIVES.  427 

*o  this  son  of  his,  because  they  were  of  about  the  same  age. 
He  is  now  the  slave  at  home  of  his  own  father,  nor  does  his 
father  know  it.  Verily,  the  Gods  do  treat  us  men  just  like 
footballs1.  You  hear  the  manner  now  how  he  lost  one  sun. 
Afterwards,  the  iEtolians2  are  waging  war  with  the  people  of 
Elis,  and,  as  happens  in  warfare,  the  other  son  is  taken  pri- 
soner. The  physician  Menarchus  buys  him  there  in  Elis. 
On  this,  this  Regio  begins  to  traffic  in  Elean  captives,  if,  per- 
chance, he  may  be  able  to  find  one  to  change  for  that  captive 
son  of  his.  He  knows  not  that  this  one  who  is  in  his  house 
is  his  own  son.  And  as  he  heard  yesterday  that  an  Elean 
knight  of  very  high  rank  and  very  high  family  was  taken 
prisoner,  he  has  spared  no  expense  to  rescue  his  son3.  In 
order  that  he  may  more  easily  bring  him  back  home,  he  buys 
both  of  these  of  the  Quaestors4  out  of  the  spoil. 

Now  they,  between  themselves,  have  contrived  this  plan, 
that,  by  means  of  it,  the  servant  may  send  away  hence  his 
master  home.  And  therefore  amoug  themselves  they  change 
their  garments  and  their  names.  He,  there  {pointing),  is 
called  Philocrates ;  this  one  {pointing),  Tyndarus  ;  he  this 
day  assumes  the  character  of  this  one,  this  one  of  him.  And 
this  one  to-day  will  cleverly  carry  out  this  plot,  and  cause 
his  master  to  gain  his  liberty  ;  and  by  the  same  means  he  will 

son's  "  peculium,"  or  jut  of  his  own  private  purse.    The  "  peculium"  was  the  sum 
*  money  which  a  son  in  his  minority  was  allowed  by  his  father  to  be  in  possession 
of.     The  word  also  signified  the  savings  of  the  slave. 

1  Just  like  footballs) — Ver.  22.  "  Pilas."  Among  the  ancients,  games  with 
the  "  pila"  were  those  played  with  the  "  pila  trigonalis,"  so  called,  probably,  from 
the  players  standing  in  a  triangle,  and  those  with  the  "  follis,"  which  was  a  larger 

",  inflated  with  air  and  struck  with  the  hands,  or  used  for  a  football.  "  Paga- 
nica"  was  a  similar  ball,  but  harder,  being  stuffed  with  feathers,  and  was  used  by 
the  country-people.  "  Harpastum"  was  a  small  ball  used  by  the  Greeks,  which 
was  scrambled  for  as  soon  as  it  came  to  the  ground,  whence  it  received  its  name. 
The  Greeks  had  a  proverb  similar  to  this  expression,  Qecov  iraiyvia  dv6pa>7rol, 
'  men  are  the  playthings  of  the  Gods."  So  Plato  called  mankind  deoov  a$vp- 
nara,  "  the  sport  of  the  Gods."  • 

2  The  JEtolians^—Vur.  24.  iEtolia  was  a  country  of  Greece,  the  southern  por- 
tion of  which  was  bounded  by  the  Corinthian  Gulf;  it  was  opposite  to  the  Elean 
wrritory,  from  which  it  was  divided  by  the  gulf. 

To  rescue  his  son) — Ver.  32.  "  Filio  dum  parceret."  Literally,  "  so  long  as 
might  spare  his  son." 

Of  the  Qucestors) — Ver.  34.  In  speaking  of  these  officers,  Plautus,  as  usual, 
ntroduces  Roman  customs  into  a  Play  the  scene  of  which  is  in  Greece.  It  has  been 
previously  remarked  that  the  Qusestors  had  the  selling  of  the  spoils  taken  in  wir 


428  captiyi  ;  Act  L 

save  his  own  brother,  and  without  knowing  it,  will  cause  him 
to  return  back  a  free  man  to  his  own  country  to  his  father  , 
just  as  often  now,  on  many  occasions,  a  person  has  done  more 
good  unknowingly  than  knowingly.  But  unconsciously,  by 
their  devices,  they  have  so  planned  and  devised  their  plot, 
and  have  so  contrived  it  by  their  design,  that  this  one 
is  living  in  servitude  with  his  own  father.  And  thus  now, 
in  ignorance,  he  is  the  slave  of  his  own  father.  What  poor 
creatures  are  men,  when  I  reflect  upon  it !  This  plot  will  be 
performed  by  us — a  play  for  your  entertainment.  But  there 
is,  besides,  a  thing  which,  in  a  few  words,  I  would  wish  to 
inform  you  of.  Really,  it  will  be  worth  your  wThile  to  give 
your  attention  to  this  play.  'Tis  not  composed  in  the  hack* 
neyed  style,  nor  yet  like  other  plays,  nor  are  there  in  it  any 
ribald  lines1  unfit  for  utterance :  here  is  neither  the  perjured 
procurer,  nor  the  artful  courtesan,  nor  yet  the  braggart  cap- 
tain. Don't  you  be  afraid  because  I've  said  that  there's  war 
between  the  JEtolians  and  the  Eleans.  There  {pointing),  at 
a  distance,  beyond  the  scenes,  the  battles  will  be  fought.  For 
this  were  almost  impossible  for  a  Comic  establishment2,  that 
we  should  at  a  moment  attempt  to  be  acting  Tragedy.  If, 
therefore,  any  one  is  looking  for  a  battle,  let  him  commence 
the  quarrel ;  if  he  shall  find  an  adversary  more  powerful,  I'll 
cause  him  to  be  the  spectator  of  a  battle  that  isn't  pleasant 
to  him,  so  that  hereafter  he  shall  hate  to  be  a  spectator  oi 
them  all.  I  now  retire.  Fare  ye  well,  at  home,  most  upright 
judges,  and  in  warfare  most  valiant  combatants. 

Act  I.  —  Scene  I. 

Enter  Erg-asiltjs. 

Erg.  The  young  men  have  given  me  the  name  of  "  the 
mistress,"   for  this  reason,  because  invocated3  I  am  wont 

1  Any  ribald  lines) — Ver.  56.  See  the  address  of  the  Company  of  actors  to 
the  Spectators  at  the  end  of  the  Play. 

2  A  Comic  establishment) — Ver.  61.  "  Comico  choragio."  Literally,  "  for  the 
choragium  of  Comedy."  The  "  choragium"  was  the  dress  and  furniture,  or  "  pro- 
perties" for  the  stage,  supplied  by  the  "  choragus,"  or  keeper  of  the  theatrical 
wardrobe. 

3  Because  invocated) — Ver.  70.  "  Invocatus."  The  following  Note  is  extracted 
from  Thornton's  Translation  of  this  Play : — "  The  reader's  indulgence  for  the  coin- 
age of  a  new  term  (and  perhaps  not  quite  so  much  out  of  character  from  the  mouth 
of  a  Parasite)  is  here  requested  in  the  use  of  the  word  '  invocated'  in  a  sense,  which 


8C.  I.  THE  CAPTIVES.  429 

to  attend  at  the  banquet.  I  know  that  buffoons1  say  that  this 
is  absurdly  said,  but  I  affirm  that  it  is  rightly  said.  For  at 
the  banquet  the  lover,  when  he  throws  the  dice,  invokes  his 
mistress2.  Is  she  then  invocated,  or  is  she  not  ?  She  is, 
most  clearly.  But,  i'  faith,  we  Parasites  with  better  reason 
are  so  called,  whom  no  person  ever  either  invites  or  in- 
vokes, and  who,  like  mice,  are  always  eating  the  victuals  of  an- 
other person.  "When  business  is  laid  aside3,  when  people 
repair  to  the  country,  at  that  same  moment  is  business  laid 
aside  for  our  teeth.  Just  as,  when  it  is  hot  weather,  snails 
lie  hidden  in  secret,  and  live  upon  their  own  juices,  if  the 
dew  doesn't  fall ;  so,  when  business  is  laid  aside,  do  Parasites 
lie  hidden  in  retirement,  and  miserably  live  upon  their 
own  juices,  while  in  the  country  the  persons  are  rusticating 
whom  they  sponge  upon.  When  business  is  laid  aside,  we 
Parasites  are  greyhounds  ;  when  business  recommences,  like 
mastiffs4,  we  are  annoying-like  and  very  troublesome-like5. 

it  is  owned,  there  is  no  authority  for,  but  without  it  no  way  occurs  to  explain  the 
poet's  meaning — which,  such  as  it  is,  and  involved  in  such  a  pun,  is  all  that  can 
be  aimed  at.  The  word  '  invocatus'  means  both  '  ealled  upon'  and  '  not  called 
upon.'  Ergasilus  here  quibbles  upon  it ;  for,  though  at  entertainments  he  at- 
tends, as  it  is  the  common  character  of  Parasites  to  do,  without  invitation,  that 
is  'not  called  upon;'  and  as  mistresses  are  'called  upon'  that  their  names  so  in- 
voked may  make  their  lovers  throw  the  dice  with  success ;  still,  according  to 
the  double  sense  of  the  word,  they  may  be  compared  to  each  other,  as  they  are 
both,  according  to  the  Latin  idiom,  '  invocati.' " 

1  That  buffoons) — Ver.  71.  "Derisores,"  "buffoons."  By  this  word  he  means, 
that  particular  class  of  Parasites  who  earned  their  dinners  by  their  repartees  and 
bon-mots. 

2  Invokes  his  mistress) — Ver.  73.  It  was  the  Grecian  custom,  when  they  threw 
dice  at  an  entertainment,  for  the  thrower  to  call  his  mistress  by  name,  which  in- 
vocation was  considered  to  bring  good  luck. 

3  When  business  is  laid  aside) — Ver.  78.  "  Ubi  res  prolatae  sunt."  Meaning 
thereoy  "  in  vacation-time."  In  the  heat  of  summer  the  courts  of  justice  were 
closed,  and  the  more  wealthy  portion  of  the  Romans  retired  into  the  country  or  to 
the  seaside.  Cicero  mentions  this  vacation  as  "  rerum  prolatio."  The  allusion  in 
the  previous  line  is  probably  derived  from  a  saying  of  the  Cynic  Diogenes :  when 
he  saw  mice  creeping  under  the  table,  he  used  to  say,  "  See  the  Parasites  of  Dio- 
genes." 

4  Like  mastiffs) — Ver.  86.  "  Molossici."  Literally,  "  dogs  of  Molossus,"  a 
country  of  Epirus. 

5  Annoying-like  and  very  troublesome-like) — Ver.  87.  "  Odiosici — incommo- 
destici."  These  are  two  extravagant  forms  of  the  words  "  odiosi"  and  "  incora 
modi,"  coinej  by  the  author  for  tbe  occasion 


430  CAPTITI  ;  Act  I. 

And  here,  indeed,  unless,  i'  faith,  any  Parasite  is  able  to  en- 
dure cuffs  with  the  fist,  and  pots  to  be  broken1  about  his 
head,  why  he  may  e'en  go  with  his  wallet  outside  the  Trige- 
minian  Gate2.  That  this  may  prove  my  lot,  there  is  some 
danger.  For  since  my  patron3  has  fallen  into  the  hands  of 
the  enemy — (such  warfare  are  the  JEtolians  now  waging  with 
the  Eleans  ;  for  this  is  iEtolia  ;  this  Philopolemus  has  been 
made  captive  in  Elis,  the  son  of  this  old  man  Hegio  who  lives 
here  {pointing  to  the  house) — a  house  which  to  me  is  a  house 
of  woe,  and  which  so  oft  as  I  look  upon,  I  weep).  Now,  for 
the  sake  of  his  son,  has  he  commenced  this  dishonorable 
traffic,  very  much  against  his  own  inclination.  He  buys  up 
men  that  have  been  made  captives,  if  perchance  he  may  be 
able  to  find  some  one  for  whom  to  gain  his  son  in  exchange. 
An  object  which  I  really  do  much  desire  that  he  may  gain ; 
for  unless  he  finds  him,  there's  nowhere  for  me  to  find  myself. 
I  have  no  hopes  in  the  young  men ;  they  are  all  too  fond  of 
themselves.  He,  in  fine,  is  a  youth  with  the  old-fashioned 
manners,  whose  countenance  I  never  rendered  cheerful  with- 
out a  return.  His  father  is  worthily  matched,  as  endowed 
with  like  manners.  Now  I'll  go  to  him  ; — but  his  door  is 
opening,  the  door  from  which  full  oft  I've  sallied  forth  drunk 
with  excess  of  cheer.     {He  stands  aside.) 

Scene  II. — Enter,  from  his  house,  Hegio  and  a  Slave. 

Heg-.  Now,  give  attention  you,  if  you  please.  Those  two 
captives  whom  I  purchased  yesterday  of  the  Quaestors  out  of 
the  spoil,  put  upon  them  chains  of  light  weight4 ;  take  oft 

1  Pots  to  be  broken) — Ver.  89.  By  Meursius  we  are  informed  that  these  prac- 
tical jokes  were  played  upon  the  unfortunate  Parasites  with  pots  filled  with  cin- 
ders, which  were  sometimes  scattered  over  their  clothes,  to  the  great  amusement 
of  their  fellow-guests. 

2  The  Trigeminian  Gate) — Ver.  90.  The  Ostian  Gate  was  so  called  because  the 
Horatii  left  the  city  by  that  gate  to  fight  the  Curiatii.  The  brothers  being  born 
at  one  birth  were  "  trigemini,"  whence  the  gate  received  its  name.  The  beggars 
with  their  wallets  were  seated  there.  See  the  Trinummus,  1.  423,  and  the  Note 
to  the  passage. 

3  Since  my  patron) — Ver.  92.  Eex;  literally,  "  king."  The  Parasites  were  in 
the  habit  of  so  calling  their  entertainers. 

4  Chains  of  light  weight) — Ver.  112.  "  Singularias."  This  word  may  admit  of 
three  interpretations,  and  it  is  impossible  to  decide  which  is  the  right  one.  It 
may  mean  chains  weighing  a  single  "  libra,"  or  pound ;  it  may  signify  chains 
for  the  captives  singly,  in  contradistinction  to  those  by  which  they  were  fastened 


Sc.  II.  THE  CAPTIVES.  431 

those  greater  ones  with  which  they  are  bound.  Permit  thein 
to  walk,  if  they  wish,  out  of  doors,  or  if  in-doors,  but  so  that 
they  are  watched  with  the  greatest  care.  A  captive  at  liberty 
is  like  a  bird  that's  wild ;  if  opportunity  is  once  given  for 
escaping,  'tis  enough  ;  after  that,  you  can  never  catch  him. 

Slave.  Doubtless  we  all  are  free  men  more  willingly  than 
we  live  the  life  of  slaves. 

Heg-.  Tou,  indeed,  don't  seem  to  think  so1. 

Slave.  If  I  have  nothing  to  give,  should  you  like  me  to 
give  myself  to  flight2  ? 

Heg.  If  you  do  so  give  yourself  ]  I  shall  at  once  have  some- 
thing to  be  giving  to  you. 

Slave.  I'LL  make  myself  just  like  the  wild  bird  you  were 
telling  of. 

Heg.  'Tis  just  as  you  say;  for  if  you  do  so,  I'll  be  giving 
you  to  the  cage3.  But  enough  of  prating ;  take  you  care  of 
what  I've  ordered,  and  be  off.  (The  Slave  goes  into  the 
house.)  I'll  away  to  my  brother's,  to  my  other  captives ;  I'll 
go  see  whether  they've  been  making  any  disturbance  last 
night.  From  there  I  shall  forthwith  betake  myself  home  again. 

Erg.  (apart).  It  grieves  me  that  this  unhappy  old  man  is 
following  the  trade  of  a  slave-dealer,  by  reason  of  the  mis- 
fortune of  his  son.  But,  if  by  any  means  he  can  be  brought 
back  here,  I  could  even  endure  for  him  to  become  an  exe- 
cutioner. 

Heg.   (overhearing  him).  Who  is  it  that's  speaking? 

to  each  other ;  or  it  may  mean  single  chains,  in  opposition  to  double  ones.  In  the 
Acts  of  the  Apostles,  ch.  12,  v.  6,  we  read  that  St.  Peter  was  bound  with  two 
chains ;  and  in  ch.  13,  v.  38,  *he  chief  captain  orders  St.  Paul  to  be  bound  with 
two  chains. 

1  Don't  seem  to  think  so) — Ver.  120.  Hegio  means  to  say  that  the  slave  does 
not  seem  to  think  liberty  so  very  desirable,  or  he  would  try  more  to  please 
his  master  and  do  his  duty,  which  might  probably  be  the  right  method  for 
gaining  his  liberty.  '  As  the  slave  could  generally  ransom  himself  out  of  his 
"  peculium,"  or  "  savings,"  if  they  were  sufficient,  the  slave  here  either  thinks,  or 
pretends  to  think,  that  Hegio  is  censuring  him  for  net  taking  those  means,  and 
answers,  accordingly,  that  he  has  nothing  to  offer. 

2  Give  myself  to  flight) — Ver.  121.  "  Dem  in  pedes."  Literally,  M  give  myself 
to  my  feet,"  meaning  thereby  "  to  run  away."  He  puns  upon  this  meaning  of 
"  dare,"  and  its  common  signification  of  "  to  give"  or  "  to  offer  to  give." 

s  Giving  you  to  the  cage) — Ver.  124.  "  In  cavearn."  He  plays  on  the  word 
"cavea,"  which  meaning  "  a  cage"  for  a  bird,  might  also  mean  confiaement  for  a 
priaoner. 


'1*32  captiyi  ;  Act  L 

Erg.  'Tis  I,  who  am  pining  at  your  afflictior,  growing 
tnin,  waxing  old,  and  shockingly  wasting  away.  Wretched 
man  that  I  am,  I'm  but  skin  and  bone  through  leanness ;  nor 
does  anything  ever  do  me  good  that  I  eat  at  home;  even 
that  ever  so  little  which  I  taste  out  of  doors,  the  same  re- 
freshes me. 

Heg.  Ergasilus,  save  you!  Erg.  {crying).  May  the  Gods 
kindly  bless  you,  Hegio ! 

Heg.  Don't  weep.  Erg.  Must  I  not  weep  for  him  ? 
Must  I  not  weep  for  such  a  young  man  ? 

Heg.  I've  always  known  you  to  be  a  friend  to  my  son, 
and  I  have  understood  him  to  be  so  to  you. 

Erg.  Then  at  last  do  we  men  know  our  blessings,  when 
we  have  lost  those  things  which  we  once  had  in  our  power. 
I,  since  your  son  fell  into  the  power  of  the  enemy,  knowing 
by  experience  of  what  value  he  was,  now  feel  his  loss. 

Heg.  Since  you,  who  are  no  relation,  bear  his  misfortune 
so  much  amiss,  what  is  it  likely  that  I,  a  father,  should  do, 
whose  only  son  he  is  ? 

Erg,  I,  no  relation  to  him  ?  He,  no  relation  to  me  ?  Oh, 
Hegio !  never  do  say  that,  nor  come  to  such  a  belief.  To 
you  he  is  an  only  child,  but  to  me  he  is  even  more  only  than 
an  only  one.  * 

Heg.  I  commend  you,  in  that  you  consider  the  affliction 
of  your  friend  your  own  affliction.     Now  be  of  good  heart. 

Erg.  {crying).  O  dear!  Heg.  {half-aside).  'Tis  this  afflicts 
him,  that  the  army  for  guttling  is  now  disbanded.  Mean- 
while, have  you  found  no  one  to  command  for  you  the  army 
that  you  mentioned  as  disbanded  ? 

Erg.  What  do  you  think  ?  All  to  whom  it  used  to  fall 
are  in  the  habit  of  declining  that  province  since  your  son 
Philopolemus  was  taken  prisoner. 

Heg.  I'  faith,  'tisn't  to  be  wondered  at,  that  they  are 
in  the  habit  of  declining  that  province.  Tou  have  necessity 
for  numerous  troops,  and  those  of  numerous  kinds.  Well, 
first  you  have  need  of  the  Bakerians1.     Of  these  Bakerians 

1  The  Bakerians)— Net.  162.  This  and  the  following  appellations  are  ex~ 
pressive  both  of  the  several  trades  that  contributed  to  furnishing  entertainments, 
and,  in  the  Latin,  also  denoted  the  names  of  inhabitants  of  several  places  in  Italy 
or  elsewhere.  As  this  meaning  could  not  be  expressed  in  a  literal  translation  of 
them,  the  original  words  are  here  subjoined      1»  the  word  "  Pistorienses,"  h» 


Sc.  II.  THE  CAPTIVES.  433 

there  are  several  kinds.  You  have  need  of  Eoll-makerians, 
you  have  need  too  of  Confectionerians,  you  have  need  of 
Poultererians,  you  have  need  of  Beccaficorians ;  besides,  all 
the  maritime  forces  are  necessary  for  you. 

Erg.  How  the  greatest  geniuses  do  frequently  lie  con- 
cealed !     How  great  a  general  now  is  this  private  individual ! 

Heg.  Only  have  good  courage ;  for  I  trust  that  in  a  few 
days  I  shall  bring  him  back  home.  For  see  now  ;  there's  a  cap- 
tive here,  a  young  man  of  Elis,  born  of  a  very  high  family, 
and  of  very  great  wealth ;  I  trust  that  it  will  come  to  pass 
that  I  shall  get  my  son  in  exchange  for  him. 

Erg.  May  the  Gods  and  Goddesses  grant  it  so ! 

Heg.  But  are  you  invited  out  anywhere  to  dinner  ? 

Erg.  Nowhere  that  I  know  of.  But,  pray,  why  do  you 
ask  me  ? 

Heg.  Because  this  is  my  birthday  ;  for  that  reason  IM 
like  you  to  be  invited  to  dinner  at  my  house. 

Erg.  "lis  kindly  said.  Heg.  But  if  you  can  be  content 
to  eat  a  very  little 

Erg.  Aye,  even  ever  so  little ;  for  on  such  fare  as  that  do 
I  enjoy  myself  every  day  at  home. 

Heg.  Come,  then,  please,  set  yourself  up  for  sale. 

Erg.  I'll  put  myself  up  for  purchase,  just  like  a  landed 
estate,  unless  any  one  shall  privately  make  a  better  oifer  that 
pleases  myself  and  my  friends  more,  and  to  my  own  conditions 
will  I  bind  myself. 

Heg.  You  are  surely  selling  me  a  bottomless  pit1,  and  not 
a  landed  estate.     But  if  you  are  coming,  do  so  in  time. 

Erg.  Why,  for  that  matter,  I'm  at  leisure  even  now. 

alludes  to  the  bakers,  and  the  natives  of  Pistorium,  a  town  of  Etruria ;  in  the 
Panicei,"  to  the  bread  or  roll  bakers,  and  the  natives  of  Pana,  a  little  town 
of  the  Samnites,  mentioned  by  Strabo;  in  the  "  Placentini,"  to  the  "confec- 
tioners" or  "  cake-makers,"  and  the  people  of  Placentia,  a  city  in  the  North  of 
Italy ;  in  the  "  Turdetani,"  to  the  "  poulterers"  or  "  sellers  of  thrushes,"  and  the 
people  of  Turdetania,  a  district  of  Spain ;  and  in  the  "  Ficedulae,"  to  the  "  sellers 
of  beccaficos,"  a  delicate  bird,  and  the  inhabitants  of  Ficeauke,  a  town  near 
Rome.  Of  course,  these  appellations,  as  relating  to  the  trades,  are  only  co- 
mical words  coined  for  the  occasion. 

1  A  bottomless  pit) — Ver.  183.  He  plays  upon  the  resemblance  in  sound  of  the 
word  "  fundum,"  "  landed  property,"  to  "  prof'undum,"  "  a  deep  cavity,"  to  which 
ne  compares  the  Parasite's  stomach.  "  You  sell  me  lauded  property,  indeed ;  say 
I  rather  a  bottomless  pit." 

2* 


434  oaptivi  ;  Act  II. 

Heg.  G-o  then,  and  hunt  for  a  hare ;  at  present,  in  me  you 
have  but  a  ferret1,  for  my  fare  is  in  the  way  of  frequenting  a 
rugged  road. 

Erg.  You'll  never  repulse  me  by  that,  Hegio,  so  don't 
attempt  it.     I'll  come,  in  spite  of  it,  with  teeth  well  shod. 

Heg.  Really,  my  viands  are  but  of  a  rough  sort2.  Erg. 
Are  you  in  the  habit  of  eating  brambles  ? 

Heg.  Mine  is  an  earthy  dinner.  Erg.  A  pig  is  an  earthy 
animal. 

Heg.  Earthy  from  its  plenty  of  vegetables. 

Erg.  Treat  your  sick  people3  at  home  with  that  fare?  Do 
you  wish  anything  else  ? 

Heg.  Come  in  good  time.  Erg.  You  are  putting  in  mind 
one  who  remembers  quite  well.  (Exit. 

Heg.  I'll  go  in-doors,  and  in  the  house  I'll  make  the  cal- 
culation how  little  money  I  have  at  my  banker's ;  afterwards 
I'll  go  to  my  brother's,  whither  I  was  saying  I  would  go. 
(Goes  into  his  house.) 

Act  II. — Scene  I. 

Enter,  from  the  house,  Philocrates,  Tyndarus,  and  Slaves 
and  Captives  of  Hegio. 

Slate.  If  the  immortal  Gods  have  so  willed  it  that  you 
should  undergo  this  affliction,  it  becomes  you  to  endure  it 
with  equanimity ;  if  you  do  so,  your  trouble  will  be  lighter4. 

1  Have  but  a  ferret) — Ver.  185.  This  passage  has  much  puzzled  the  Commen- 
tators ;  but  allowing  for  some  very  far-fetched  wit,  which  is  not  uncommon  with 
Plautus,  it  may  admit  of  some  explanation.  He  tells  the  Parasite  that  he  had 
better  look  for  a  nicer  dinner,  a  hare,  in  fact ;  for  that  in  dining  with  him,  he  will 
only  get  the  ferret  (with  which  the  hare  was  hunted)  for  his  dinner.  Then,  inas- 
much as  the  ferret  was  used  for  following  the  hare  or  rabbit  into  "  scruposae  via?," 
"impervious"  or  "rocky  places"  where  they  had  burrowed,  he  adds:  "For  my 
dinner,  ferret-like,  frequents  rugged  places;"  by  which  he  probably  means  that 
it  is  nothing  but  a  meagre  repast  of  vegetables,  of  which  possibly  capers  formed  a 
part,  which  grow  plentifully  in  Italy,  in  old  ruins  and  craggy  spots.  Some  suggest 
that  it  was  a  custom  with  the  huntsmen,  if  they  failed  to  catch  the  hare,  to  kill 
and  eat  the  ferret. 

2  Are  but  of  a  rough  sort) — Ver.  189.  The  word  "asper"  means  either  "un- 
savoury" or  "  prickly,"  according  to  the  context.  Hegio  means  to  use  it  in  the  former 
sense,  but  the  Parasite,  for  the  sake  of  repartee,  chooses  to  take  it  in  the  latter. 

»  Treat  your  sick  people) — Ver.  191.  He  means  that  such  a  dinner  may  suit 
sick  people,  but  will  not  be  to  his  taste. 

*  Will  be  lighter) — Ver.  197.  The  English  proverb  corresponds  with  this- 
What  can't  be  cured  must  be  endured. 


Sc.  I.  THE  CAPTIVES.  435 

At  home  you  were  free  men,  I  suppose ;  no^  if  slavery  has 
befallen  you,  'tis  a  becoming  way  for  you  to  put  up  with  it, 
and  by  your  dispositions  to  render  it  light,  under  a  master's 
rule.  Unworthy  actions  which  a  master  does  must  be  deemed 
worthy  ones. 

Phil,  and  Tynd.  Alas '..alas!  alas!  Slave.  There's  no 
need  for  wailing ;  you  cause  much  injury  to  your  eyes.  In 
adversity,  if  you  use  fortitude  of  mind,  it  is  of  service. 

Phil,  and  Tynd.  But  we  are  ashamed,  because  we  are  in 
bonds. 

Slave.  But  in  the  result  it  might  cause  vexation  to  our 
master,  if  he  were  to  release  you  from  chains,  or  allow  you  to 
be  loose,  whom  he  has  purchased  with  his  money. 

Phil,  and  Tynd.  What  does  he  fear  from  us  ?  We  know 
our  duty,  what  it  is,  if  he  allows  us  to  be  loose. 

Slave.  Why,  you  are  meditating  escape.  I  know  what 
it  is  you  are  devising. 

Phil,  and  Tynd.  We,  make  our  escape  ?  Whither  should 
we  escape  ? 

Slave.  To  your  own  country.  Phil,  and  Tynd.  Out 
upon  you ;  it  would  ill  befit  us  to  be  following  the  example  of 
runaways. 

Slave.  Why,  faith,  should  there  be  an  opportunity,  I  don't 
advise  you  not. 

Phil,  and  Tynd.  Do  you  allow  us  to  make  one  request. 

Slave.  What  is  it,  pray?  Phil,  and  Tynd.  That  you 
will  give  us  an  opportunity  of  conversing,  without  these  and 
yourselves  for  overlookers. 

Slave.  Be  it  so ;  go  you  away  from  here,  you  people.  Let's 
step  here,  on  one  side.  (To  the  other  Captives  and  Slaves.) 
But  commence  upon  a  short  conversation  only. 

Phil.  O  yes,  it  was  my  intention  so  to  do.  Step  aside  this 
way  (to  Tyndaeus). 

Slave  (to  the  other  Captives).  Stand  apart  from  them. 

Tynd.  (to  the  Slave).  We  are  both  greatly  obliged  to  you, 
| by  reason  of  your  doing  so,  since  you  allow  us  to  obtain  what 
I  we  are  desirous  of. 

Phil.  Step  here  then,  at  a  distance  now,  if  you  think  fit, 
I  that  no  listeners  may  be  enabled  to  overhear  our  discourse, 
and  that  this  plan  of  ours  mayn't  be  divulged  before  them ; 
for  a  stratagem  is  no  stratagem,  if  you  don't  plan  it  with  art 
2f2 


13  o  o-APTITI;  Act  II, 

but  it  is  a  very  great  misfortune  if  it  becomes  disclosed. 
Por  if  you  are  my  master,  and  I  represent  myself  as  your 
servant,  still  there's  need  of  foresight,  and  need  of  caution, 
that  this  may  be  carried  out  discreetly  and  without  over- 
lookers, with  carefulness  an^  with  cautious  prudence  and 
diligence.  So  great  is  the  Hotter  that  has  been  commenced 
upon  ;  this  must  not  be  carried  out  in  any  drowsy  fashion. 

Tynd.  Just  as  you  shall  desire  me  to  be,  I  will  be. 

Phil.  I  trust  so.  Tynd.  For  now  you  see  that  for  your 
precious  life  I'm  setting  at  stake  my  own,  as  dear  to  one. 

Phil.  I  know  it.  Tynd.  But  remember  to  know  it  when 
you  shall  be  enjoying  that  which  you  wish  for ;  for  mostly,  the 
greatest  part  of  mankind  follow  this  fashion ;  what  they  w.sh 
for,  until  they  obtain  it,  they  are  rightminded;  but  when 
they  have  now  got  it  in  their  power,  from  being  rightminded 
they  become  most  deceitful,  and  most  dishonest ;  now  I  do 
consider  that  you  are  towards  me  as  I  wish.  "What  I  advise 
you,  I  would  advise  my  own  father. 

Phil.  1'  faith,  if  I  could  venture,  I  would  call  you  father ; 
for  next  to  my  own  father,  you  are  my  nearest  father. 

Tynd.  I  understand.  Phil.  And  therefore  I  remind  you 
the  more  frequently,  that  you  may  remember  it.  I  am  not 
your  master,  but  your  servant ;  now  this  one  thing  I  do  beseech 
you.  Inasmuch  as  the  immortal  Gods  have  disclosed  to  us 
their  wishes,  that  they  desire  me  to  have  once  been  your 
master,  and  now  to  be  your  fellow- captive ;  what  formerly  of 
my  right  I  used  to  command  you,  now  with  entreaties  do  I  beg 
of  you,  by  our  uncertain  fortunes,  and  by  the  kindness  of  my 
father  towards  you,  and  by  our  common  captivity,  which  has 
befallen  us  by  the  hand  of  the  enemy,  don't  you  pay  me  any 
greater  respect  than  I  did  you  when  you  were  my  slave  ;  and 
don't  you  forget  to  remember  who  you  were,  and  who  you 
now  are. 

Tynd.  I  know,  indeed,  that  I  now  am  you,  and  that  you 
are  I. 

Phil.  "Well,  if  you  are  able  carefully  to  remember  that,  1 
have  some  hope  in  this  scheme  of  ours. 

Scene  II. — Enter  Hegio,  from  his  house,  speaking  to  those 
within. 
Heg.  I  shall  return  in-doors  just  new,  when  I  shall  have 


Sc.  II.  THE  CAPTIVES.  437 

discovered  from  these  people  what  I  want  to  know.  (To  the 
Slaves.)  Where  are  those  persons  whom  I  ordered  to  be 
brought  out  of  doors  here,  before  the  house  ? 

Phil.  By  my  faith,  I  find  that  you  have  taken  due  pre- 
caution that  we  shouldn't  be  missed  by  you,  so  walled  in 
are  we  with  chains  and  keepers. 

Heg.  He  that  takes  precaution  that  he  mayn't  be  deceived, 
is  hardly  on  his  guard,  even  while  he's  taking  precaution ; 
even  when  he  has  supposed  that  he  has  taken  every  precau- 
tion, full  often  is  this  wary  man  outwitted.  Was  there  not 
good  reason,  indeed,  for  me  to  watch  you  carefully,  whom  I 
purchased  with  so  large  a  sum  of  ready  money  ? 

Phil.  Troth,  it  isn't  fair  for  us  to  hold  you  to  blame,  be- 
cause you  watch  us  closely ;  nor  yet  for  you  us,  if  we  go  away 
hence,  should  there  be  an  opportunity. 

Heg.  As  you  are  here,  so  is  my  son  a  captive  there  among 
your  people. 

Phil.  He,  a  captive  ?     Heg.  Even  so. 

Phil.  We,  then,  have  not  proved  the  only  cowards1. 

Heg.  (to  Philoceates,  supposing  him  to  be  the  Servant 
of  the  other).  Step  you  aside  this  way,  for  there  are  some 
things  that  I  wish  to  enquire  of  you  in  private,  on  which 
subjects  I  would  have  you  not  to  be  untruthful  to  me. 
(They  step  aside.) 

Phil.  I  will  not  be,  as  to  that  which  I  shall  know ;  if  I 
shall  not  know  anything,  that  which  I  don't  know  I'll  tell 
you  of. 

Tynd.  (aside).  Now  is  the  old  fellow  in  the  barber's 
shop ;  now,  at  this  very  instant,  is  Philocrates  wielding 
the  razor3.  He  hasn't  cared,  indeed,  to  put  on  the  barber's 
cloth3,  so  as  not  to  soil  his  dress.  But  whether  to  say 
that  he's  going  to  shave  him  close,  or  trim  him*  through  the 

1  The  only  cowards) — Ver.  267.  He  alludes  to  the  notion  in  the  heroic  times, 
that  it  was  the  duty  of  a  warrior  to  conquer  or  to  die,  and  that  it  was  dis- 
graceful to  he  made  prisoner. 

2  Wielding  the  razor)— Ver.  271.  It  is  hard  to  say  whether  by  the  word  "  eul- 
tros,"  in  this  passage,  razors  or  scissors  are  meant. 

3  To  put  on  the  barber's  cloth) — Ver.  272.  He  probably  means  by  this  ex- 
pression that  Philocrates  has  made  no  preamble,  and  shown  no  hesitation,  in  com- 
mencing at  once  to  dupe  the  old  man. 

4  Or  trim  him) — Ver.  273.  He  alludes  here  to  the  two  kinds  of  shaving  and 
trimming  the  beard  used  by  the  barbers  among  the  ancients.     The  one  was  closa 


'138  CAPTIVI  ;  Act  II. 

eomb1,  I  don't  know ;  but  if  he's  wise,  he'll  scrape  him  right 
well  to  the  very  quick. 

Heg.  (to  Philockates).  Which  would  you  ?  "Would  you 
prefer  to  be  a  slave,  or  a  free  man  ? — Tell  me. 

Phil.  That  which  is  the  nearest  to  good,  and  the  furthest 
off  from  evil,  do  I  prefer ;  although  my  servitude  hasn't  proved 
very  grievous  to  me,  nor  has  it  been  otherwise  to  me  than 
if  I  had  been  a  son  in  the  family. 

Ttnd.  {aside).  Capital!  I  wouldn't  purchase,  at  a  talent's 
price  even,  Thales  the  Milesian2;  for  compared  with  this 
man's  wisdom,  he  was  a  very  twaddler.  How  cleverly  has  he 
suited  his  language  to  the  slave's  condition. 

Heg.  Of  what  family  is  this  Philocrates  born? 

Phil.  The  Polyplusian3 ;  which  one  family  is  nourishing 
there,  and  held  in  highest  esteem. 

Heg.  What  is  he  himself?  In  what  esteem  is  he  held 
there  ? 

Phil.  In  the  highest,  and  that  by  the  very  highest  men. 

Heg.  Since,  then,  he  is  held  in  such  great  respect  among 
the  Eleans,  as  you  tell  of,  what  substance  has  he  ? — Of  large 
amount  ? 

Phil.  Enough  for  him,  even,  when  an  old  man,  to  be  melt- 
ing out  the  tallow4. 

il  strictim,"  when  they  shaved  to  the  skin ;  the  other  was,  when  with  a  pair  of 
scissors  they  clipped  the  hair,  with  the  interposition  of,  a  comb.  The  former  fashion 
was  called  by  the  Greeks  crKatyiov  ',  the  latter  method,  which  was  borrowed 
from  the  Persians,  KrJ7ros.  "  Esse  in  tonstrina,"  "  to  be  in  the  barber's  shop," 
was  a  proverbial  expression  to  denote  "  being  imposed  upon."  Tyndarus  is  wonder- 
ing to  what  extent  Philocrates  is  going  to  impose  upon  Hegio. 

1  Through  the  comb) — Ver.  273.  The  Greeks  and  Romans  made  their  combs 
of  boxwood,  much  of  which  was  imported  from  Paphlagonia.  The  Egyptians 
used  them  made  of  wood  and  of  ivory,  and  toothed  on  one  side  only ;  while  those 
of  the  Greeks  had  teeth  on  both  sides. 

2  Thales  the  Milesian) — Ver.  279.  A  talent  would  be  a  low  price  for  such  a 
learned  slave  as  Thales  the  Milesian,  who  was  one  of  the  seven  wise  men  of 
Greece.  He  says,  however,  that  Thales  at  such  a  low  price  would  be  nothing  in 
comparison  with  Philocrates  for  the  same  money. 

3  The  Polyplusian) — Ver.  282.  This  word  is  coined  by  Philocrates  for  the  occa- 
sion, as  being  the  name  of  his  family,  from  the  Greek  word  iro\vTrkovo~ibs, 
"  very  wealthy ;"  probably  with  the  idea  of  raising  the  expectations  of  Hegio, 
and  making  him  the  more  ready  to  promote  an  exchange  of  his  own  son  for  a 
member  of  so  opulent  a  family. 

1  Melting  out  the  tallow)— Ver.  286.  Hegio  asks  him  if  his  riches  are  ver? 


8c.  1  l  'THE  CAPTIVES.  439 

Heo.  What  is  his  father  ?  Is  he  living  ?  Phil.  When  we 
departed  thence,  we  left  him  alive  ;  whether  he's  living  now 
or  not,  Orcus,  forsooth,  must  know  that. 

Ttnd.   (aside).    The   matter's    all    right;    he's    not    only 

ng,  but  he's  even  philosophizing  now. 
~eg.  What's  his  name  ?     Phil.  Thesaurochrysonicocroe- 
sides1. 

Heg.  That  name  has  been  given,  I  suppose,  by  reason  of 
his  wealth,  as  it  were. 

Phil.  Troth,  not  so,  but  rather  by  reason  of  his  avarice 
and  grasping  disposition ;  for,  indeed,  he  was  Theodoromedes 
originally  by  name. 

Heg.  How  say  you  ?     Is  his  father  covetous  ? 

Phil.  Aye,  by  my  faith,  he  is  covetous.  Why,  that  you 
may  even  understand  it  the  better, — when  he's  sacrificing  at 
any  time  to  his  own  Genius2,  the  vessels  that  are  needed  for 
the  sacrifice  he  uses  of  Samian  ware,  lest  the  Genius  himself 
should  steal  them ;  from  this,  consider  how  much  he  would 
trust  other  people. 

Heg.  (addressing  Tyndarus  as  though  Philocrates).  Do 
you  then  follow  me  this  way.  (Aside.)  The  things  that  I 
desire  to  know,  I'll  enquire  of  him.  (Addressing  Ttn- 
darus.) Philocrates,  this  person  has  done  as  it  becomes  an 
honest  man  to  do.  For  from  him  I've  learnt  of  what 
family  you  are  sprung ;  he  has  confessed  it  to  me.  If  you 
are  willing  to  own  these  same  things  (which,  however,  un- 
derstand that  I  already  know  from  him),  you  will  be  doing 
it  for  your  own  advantage. 

abundant,  and  in  doing  so  uses  the  word  "opirase,"  of  which  the  primary  mean- 
ing was  "  fat ;"  the  other  answers,  "  Yes,  so  fat  that  he  can  be  melting  the  tallow 
out  of  them  even  when  he  is  an  old  man ;"  meaning  thereby  that  he  is  amply 
provided  with  means. 

1  Thesaurochrysonieocrcesides) — Ver.  290.  This  is  a  name  made  up  of  several 
Greek  words,  and  seems  to  mean  "  a  son  of  Croesus,  abounding  in  treasures  of 
gold,"  in  allusion  to  Croesus,  the  wealthy  king  of  Lydia.  The  author  indulges  m 
similar  pleasantry  in  the  Miles  Gloriosus. 

2  To  his  own  Genius) — Ver.  295.  As  the  Genius  of  a  man  was  not  only  his 
guardian  Deity  through  life,  but  the  word  was  also  used  to  signify  his  capacity  for 
enjoyment;  the  term  "  to  sacrifice  to  his  Genius,"  is  supposed  by  some  Commen- 
tators to  mean,  "  to  indulge  the  appetite  in  feasting  and  good  cheer."  This, 
however,  seems  not  to  be  the  meaning  in  this  instance ;  and  he  probably  intends 
to  be  understood  as  alluding,  literally,  to  the  domestic  sacrifice  to  the  Genius- 


440  ciptiti  ;  Act  II. 

TrN\D.  He  did  his  duty  when  he  confessed  the  truth  tc 
you,  although,  Hegio,  I  wished  carefully  to  conceal  both  my 
rank  and  my  wealth  ;  now,  inasmuch  as  I've  lost  my  country 
and  my  liberty,  I  don't  think  it  right  for  him  to  be  dreading 
me  rather  than  you.  The  might  of  warfare  has  made  my 
fortunes  on  a  level  with  himself.  I  remember  the  time  when 
he  didn't  dare  to  do  it  in  word  ;  now,  in  deed,  he  is  at  liberty 
to  offend  me.  But  don't  you  see  ?  Human  fortune  moulds 
and  fashions  just  as  she  wills.  Myself,  who  was  a  free  man 
she  has  made  a  slave,  from  the  very  highest  the  very  lowest. 
I,  who  was  accustomed  to  command,  now  obey  the  mandates 
of  another.  And  indeed,  if  I  meet  with  a  master  just  such 
as  I  proved  the  ruler  in  my  own  household,  I  shall  not  fear 
that  he  will  rule  me  harshly  or  severely.  "With  this,  Hegio, 
I  wished  you  to  be  acquainted,  unless  perchance  you  your- 
self wish  it  not. 

Heg.  Speak  boldly  out.  Ttfd.  As  free  a  man  was  I  till 
lately  as  your  son.  As  much  did  a  hostile  hand  deprive  me 
of  my  liberty  as  him  of  his.  As  much  is  he  a  slave  among 
my  people,  as  I  am  now  a  slave  here  with  yourself.  There  is 
undoubtedly  a  Grod,  who  both  hears  and  sees  the  things 
which  we  do.  Just  as  you  shall  treat  me  here,  in  the  same 
degree  will  he  have  a  care  for  him.  To  the  well-deserving 
will  he  show  favour,  to  the  ill-deserving  will  he  give  a  like 
return.  As  much  as  you  lament  your  son,  so  much  does  my 
father  lament  me. 

Heg.  That  I  am  aware  of.  But  do  you  admit  the  same 
that  he  has  disclosed  to  me  ? 

Ttnd.  I  confess  that  my  father  has  very  great  wealth  at 
home,  and  that  I  am  born  of  a  very  noble  family ;  but  I 
entreat  you,  Hegio,  let  not  my  riches  make  your  mind  too 
prone  to  avarice,  lest  it  should  seem  to  my  father,  although 
I  am  his  only  son,  more  suitable  that  I  should  be  a  slave 
m  your  house,  bountifully  supplied  at  your  expense  and  with 
your  clothing,  rather  than  be  living  the  life  of  a  beggar  where 
'twould  be  far  from  honorable. 

Heg-.  By  the  favour  of  the  Gods  and  of  my  forefathers,  I 
am  rich  enough.  I  don't  quite  believe  that  every  kind  of 
gain  is  serviceable  to  mankind.  I  know  that  gain  has  already 
made  many  a  man  famous ;  and  yet  there  are  occasions 
when  it  is  undoubtedly  better  to  incur  loss  than  to  make  gain.. 


Sc.  IL  the  captives.  441 

Gold  I  detest :  many  a  one  has  it  persuaded  to  many  an  evil 
course.  Now  give  your  attention  to  this,  that  you  may 
know  as  well  what  my  wishes  are.  My  son,  taken  prisoner, 
is  in  servitude  at  Elis  there  among  your  people ;  if  you 
restore  him  to  me,  don't  you  give  me  a  single  coin  besides ; 
both  you  and  him,  your  servant,  I'll  send  back  from  here ;  on 
no  other  terms  can  you  depart  hence. 

Tynd.  You  ask  what's  very  right  and  very  just,  and  you 
are  the  very  kindest  person  of  all  mankind.  But  whether  is 
he  in  servitude  to  a  private  person  or  to  the  public1  ? 

Heg.  In  private  servitude  to  Menarchus,  a  physician. 

Phil.  By  my  faith,  that  person's  surely  his  father's  de- 
pendant. Why  really,  that's  down  as  pat  for  you,  as  the 
shower  is  when  it  rains. 

Heg.  Do  you  then  cause  this  person,  my  son,  to  be  redeemed. 

Tynd.  I'll  do  so  :  but  this  I  beg  of  you,  Hegio 

Heg.  Whatever  you  wish,  so  that  you  request  nothing 
against  my  interest,  I'll  do. 

Tynd.  Listen  then,  and  you'll  know.  I  don't  ask  for  my- 
self to  be  released,  until  he  has  returned.  But  I  beg  of  you 
to  give  me  him  (pointing  to  Philocrates)  with  a  price  set2, 
upon  him,  that  I  may  send  him  to  my  father,  that  this  per- 
son, your  son,  may  be  redeemed  there. 

Heg.  Why  no ;  I'd  rather  send  another  person  hence, 
when  there  shall  be  a  truce,  to  confer  with  your  father  there, 
and  to  carry  your  injunctions  which  you  shall  entrust  him 
with,  just  as  you  wish. 

Tynd.  But  it's  of  no  use  to  send  to  him  one  that  he  doesn't 
know  ;  you'd  be  losing  your  labour.  Send  this  person  ;  he'll 
have  it  all  completed,  if  he  gets  there.  And  you  cannot 
send  any  person  to  him  more  faithful,  nor  one  in  whom  he 
places  more  confidence,  nor  who  is  more  a  servant  after  his 
own  mind ;  nor,  in  fact,  one  to  whom  he  would  more  readily 
entrust  your  son.  Have  no  fears  ;  at  my  own  peril  I'll  make 
proof  of  his  fidelity,  relying  upon  his  disposition ;  because  be 
is  sensible  that  I'm  kindly  disposed  towards  him. 

1  Or  to  the  public) — Ver.  339.  Some  captives  were  employed  in  the  public 
(service,  while  others  fell  into  the  hands  of  private  individuals. 

2  With  a  price  set) — Ver.  345.  "  iEstimatus"  here  means  "  entrusted  to  a 
person  at  a  fixed  value,  and  at  his  risk  for  the  due  return  of  it." 


442  captiti  ;  Act  II. 

He  a.  Well  then,  I'll  send  him  with  a  price  set  apon  him, 
on  the  surety  of  your  promise,  if  you  wish  it. 
.  Tynd.  I  do  wish  it ;  so  soon  as  ever  it  can,  I  want  this 
matter  to  be  brought  to  completion. 

Heg.  What  reason  is  there,  then,  that  if  he  doesn't 
return,  you  should  not  pay  me  twenty  minae  for  him  ? 

Tynd.  Yes — very  good.  Heg.  {to  the  Slaves,  who  obey). 
Release  him  now  forthwith ;  and,  indeed,  both  of  them.  {On 
being  released,  Philocrates  goes  into  the  house.) 

Tynd.  May  all  the  Grods  grant  you  all  your  desires,  since 
you  have  deigned  me  honor  so  great,  and  since  you  release 
me  from  my  chains.  Really,  this  is  not  so  irksome  now, 
since  my  neck  is  free  from  the  collar-chain. 

Heg.  The  kindnesses  that  are  done  to  the  good,  thanks  for 
the  same  are  pregnant  with  blessings.  Now,  if  you  are  about 
to  send  him  thither,  direct,  instruct  him,  give  him  the  orders 
which  you  wish  to  be  carried  to  your  father.  Should  you 
like  me  to  call  him  to  you  ? 

Tynd.  Do  call  him.  (Hegio  goes  to  the  door,  and  calls 
Philocrates.) 

Scene  III. — Enter  Philocrates,  from  the  house. 

Heg.  May  this  affair  turn  out  happily  for  myself  and  for 
my  son,  and  for  yourselves.  {To  Philocrates.)  Your  new 
master  wishes  you  to  pay  faithful  obedience  to  your  former 
owner  in  what  he  wishes.  For  I  have  presented  you  to  him, 
with  the  price  of  twenty  minse  set  upon  you :  and  he  says 
that  he  is  desirous  to  send  you  away  hence  to  his  father,  that 
he  may  there  redeem  my  son,  and  that  an  exchange  may  be 
made  between  me  and  him  for  our  respective  sons. 

Phil.  My  disposition  takes  its  course  straight  in  either 
direction,  both  to  yourself  and  to  him ;  as  a  wheel1  you  may 

1  As  a  wheel) — Ver.  374.  This  may  either  mean  the  wheel  of  a  vehicle  or  a 
potter's  wheel.  The  wheels  used  by  the  ancients  revolved  on  the  axle,  as  in  the 
carriages  of  modern  times,  and  were  prevented,  by  pins  inserted,  from  falling  off 
They  consisted  of  naves,  spokes,  which  varied  much  in  number,  the  felly,  or 
wooden  circumference,  made  of  elastic  wood,  such  as  the  poplar  and  wild  fig,  and 
composed  of  several  segments  united,  and  the  tire,  which  was  of  metal.  Some  of 
their  carts  and  waggons  had  wheels  made  of  a  solid  circle  of  wood,  in  shape  likf 
a  millstone,  with  the  axle  running  through  the  middle.  Similar  wheels  are  used 
in  the  south  of  Europe  at  the  present  day. 


Sc.  III.  THE  CAPTIVES.  443 

make  use  of  me ;  either  this  way  or  that  can  I  be  turned, 
whichever  way  you  shall  command  me. 

Heg.  You  yourself  profit  the  most  from  your  own  dis- 
position, when  you  endure  slavery  just  as  it  ought  to  be 
endured.   Follow  me.  (To  Tyndarus.)  See  here's  your  man. 

Tynd.  I  return  you  thanks,  since  you  give  me  this  oppor- 
tunity and  permission  to  send  this  messenger  to  my  parents, 
who  may  relate  all  the  matter  in  its  order  to  my  lather, 
what  I'm  doing  here,  and  what  I  wish  to  be  done.  (To 
Philocrates.)  Now,  Tyndarus,  thus  is  it  arranged  between 
myself  and  him,  that  I'm  to  send  you,  valued  at  a  fixed  price, 
to  my  father  in  Elis  ;  so  that,  if  you  don't  return  hither,  I'm 
to  give  twenty  minae  for  you. 

Phil.  I  think  that  you've  come  to  a  right  understand- 
ing. For  your  father  expects  either  myself  or  some  mes- 
senger to  come  from  here  to  him. 

Tynd.  I  wish  you,  then,  to  mind  what  message  it  is  I  want 
you  to  carry  hence  to  my  country  to  my  father. 

Phil.  Philocrates,  as  up  to  this  moment  I  have  done,  I 
will  take  all  due  care  to  endeavour  that  which  may  espe- 
cially conduce  to  your  interest,  and  to  pursue  the  same  with 
heart  and  soul,  and  with  my  ears. 

Tynd.  You  act  just  as  you  ought  to  act ;  now  I  wish  you 
to  give  attention.  In  the  first  place  of  all,  carry  my  re- 
spects to  my  mother  and  my  father,  and  to  my  relations,  and 
if  any  one  else  you  see  well-disposed  towards  me:  say  that  I 
am  in  health  here,  and  that  I  am  a  slave,  in  servitude  to  this 
most  worthy  man,  who  has  ever  honored  me  more  and  more 
with  his  respect,  and  does  so  still. 

Phil.  Don't  you  be  instructing  me  as  to  that ;  I  can,  still, 
easily  bear  that  in  mind. 

Tynd.  For,  indeed,  except  that  I  have  a  keeper,  I  deem 
myself  to  be  a  free  man.  Tell  my  father  on  what  terms  I 
have  agreed  with  this  party  about  his  son. 

Phil.  "What  I  remember,  it  is  sheer  delay  to  be  putting  me 
in  mind  of. 

Tynh.  To  redeem  him,  and  to  send  him  back  here  in  ox- 
change  for  both  of  us. 

Phil.  I'll  remember  it.  Heg.  But  as  soon  as  he  can 
that  is  especially  to  the  interest  of  us  both. 


414  captivi  ;  Act  II, 

PniL.   You  are  not  more  anxious  to  see  your  son,  than  he 
is  to  see  his. 
.  Heg.  My  son  is  dear  to  myself,  and  his  own  to  every  man. 

Phil,  (to  Tyndaeits).  Do  you  wish  any  other  message  to 
be  carried  to  your  father  ? 

Ttnd.  Say  that  I  am  well  here ;  and  do  you  boldly  tell 
him,  Tyndarus,  that  we  have  been  of  dispositions  for  unin- 
terrupted harmony  between  ourselves,  and  that  you  have 
neither  been  deserving  of  censure,  nor  that  I  have  proved 
your  enemy ;  and  that  still,  amid  miseries  so  great,  you  have 
shown  implicit  obedience  to  your  master,  and  that  you  have 
•never  abandoned  me,  either  in  deed  or  in  fidelity,  amid  my 
wavering,  unprosperous  fortunes.  When  my  father  shall  know 
this,  Tyndarus,  how  well-disposed  you  have  proved  towards 
his  son  and  himself,  he  will  never  be  so  avaricious  but  that 
he'll  give  you  your  liberty  for  nothing.  And  by  my  own 
endeavours,  if  I  return  hence,  I'll  make  him  do  so  the  more 
readily.  For  by  your  aid  and  kindness,  and  good  disposition 
and  prudence,  you  have  caused  me  to  be  allowed  to  return 
to  my  parents  once  again,  inasmuch  as  to  Hegio  you  have 
confessed  both  my  rank  and  my  wealth ;  by  means  of  which, 
through  your  wisdom,  you  have  liberated  your  master  from 
his  chains. 

Phil.  The  things  which  you  mention  I  have  done,  and  I 
am  pleased  that  you  remember  this.  Deservedly  have  they 
been  done  for  you  by  me  ;  for  now,  Philocrates,  if  I,  too,  were 
to  mention  the  things  that  you  have  kindly  done  for  me,  the 
night  would  cut  short  the  day.  For,  had  you  been  my  slave 
even,  no  otherwise  were  you  always  obliging  to  me. 

Heg.  Te  G-ods,  by  our  trust  in  you !  behold  the  kindly  dis- 
position of  these  persons  !  How  they  draw  the  very  tears 
from  me !  See  how  cordially  they  love  each  other,  and  with 
what  praises  the  servant  has  commended  his  master. 

Phil.  I'  troth,  he  hasn't  commended  me  the  one  hun- 
dredth part  of  what  he  himself  deserves  to  be  commended  in 
my  praises. 

Heg.  (to  Philocrates).  Since,  then,  you  have  acted  most 
becomingly,  now  there's  an  opportunity  to  add  to  your  good 
deads  in  managing  this  matter  with  fidelity  towards  him. 

Phil.  I  am  not  able  more  to  wish  it  done,  than  by  my  en« 


Sc.  III.  THE  CAPTIVES.  445 

deavours  to  try  to  bring  it  about.  That  yoi  may  know  this, 
Hegio,  with  praises  do  I  call  supreme  Jove  to  witness  that  I 
vvill  not  prove  unfaithful  to  Philocrates1 

Heg.  You  are  a  worthy  fellow.  Phil.  And  that  I  will 
never  in  anything  act  otherwise  towards  him  than  towards 
my  own  self. 

Ttkd.  I  wish  you  to  put  these  speeches  to  the  test,  both 
by  your  deeds  and  your  actions  ;  and  inasmuch  as  I  have  said 
the  less  about  you  than  I  had  wished,  I  wish  you  the  more 
to  give  me  your  attention,  and  take  you  care  not  to  be  angry 
with  me  by  reason  of  these  words.  But,  I  beseech  you,  re- 
flect that  you  are  sent  hence  home  with  a  price  set  upon 
you  at  my  risk,  and  that  my  life  is  here  left  as  a  pledge  for 
you.  Do  not  you  forget  me  the  very  moment  that  you 
have  left  my  presence,  since  you  will  have  left  me  here 
behind  a  captive  in  captivity  for  yourself,  and  don't  consider 
yourself  as  free,  and  forsake  your  pledge2,  and  not  use  your 
endeavours  for  you  to  bring  his  son  home  again,  in  return 
for  me.  Understand  that  you  are  sent  hence  valued  at 
twenty  minae.  Take  care  to  prove  scrupulously  faithful ;  take 
care  that  you  show  not  a  wavering  fidelity.  For  my  father, 
I  am  sure,  will  do  everything  that  he  ought  to  do.  Preserve 
me  as  a  constant  friend  to  you,  and  find  out3  this  person  so 
lately  discovered.  These  things,  by  your  right  hand,  holding 
you  with  my  own  right  hand,  do  I  beg  of  you ;  do  not  prove 
less  true  to  me  than  I  have  proved  to  you.  This  matter  do  you 
attend  to ;  you  are  now  my  master,  you  my  patron,  you  my 
father ;  to  you  do  I  commend  my  hopes  and  my  fortunes. 

Phil.  You  have  given  injunctions  enough.  Are  you  satis- 
fied if  I  bring  back  accomplished  what  you  have  enjoined  ? 

Tykd.  Satisfied.  Phil,  (to  Hegio).  According  to  your 
wishes,  and  (to  Ttndaeus)  according  to  yours,  will  I  return 
hither  provided'.     Is  there  anything  else  ? 

1  Unfaithful  to  Philocrates) — Ver.  432.  Philocrates  might  very  safely  take  an 
oath  to  Hegio,  that  he  would  not  prove  unfaithful  to  himself. 

2  Forsake  your  pledge) — Ver.  441.  Alluding  to  himself  being  left  behind,  and  a 
surety  for  his  speedy  return. 

3  And  find  out) — Ver.  446.  "  Atque  hunc  inventum  inveni."  Some  would 
render  this,  "  And  find  this  person  still  as  you  have  found  him,"  making  it  allude 
to  Hegio;  it  seems,  however,  rather  to  apply  to  the  son  of  Hegio,  and  to  mean,  "  Do 
you  seek  out  this  person  whom  we  have  found  out  to  be  in  the  possession  of  tha 
physician,  Menarchns." 


446  CAPnvi;  Act  111. 

Tynd.  For  you  to  return  back  as  soon  as  ever  you  can. 

Phil.  The  business  itself  reminds  rne  of  that. 
.  Heg.  (to  Philocrates).  Follow  me,  that  I  may  give  you 
your  expenses  for  the  journey  at  my  banker's ;  on  the  same 
occasion  I'll  get  a  passport  from  the  Praetor. 

Ttnd.  What  passport1  ?  Heg.  For  him  to  take  with  him 
hence  to  the  army,  that  he  may  be  allowed  to  go  borne  from 
Here.     {To  Tyndarus.)  You  go  in-doors. 

Tykd.  Speed  you  well.  Phil.  Eigbt  heartily,  farewell. 
(Tyndarus  goes  into  the  house.) 

Heg.  {aside).  V  faith,  I  compassed  my  design,  when  I 
purchased  these  men  of  the  Quaestors  out  of  the  spoil.  I 
have  released  my  son  from  slavery,  if  so  it  pleases  the  Grods ; 
and  yet  I  hesitated  a  long  time  whether  I  should  purchase 
or  should  not  purchase  these  persons.  Watch  that  man  in- 
doors, if  you  please,  you  servants,  that  he  may  nowhere  move 
a  foot  without  a  guard.  I  shall  soon  make  my  appearance 
at  home ;  now  I'm  going  to  my  brother's,  to  see  my  other 
captives ;  at  the  same  time  I'll  enquire  whether  any  one 
knows  this  young  man.  {To  Philocrates.)  Do  you  follow, 
that  I  may  despatch  you.  I  wish  attention  first  to  be  paid 
to  that  matter.  (Exeunt. 

Act  III.  —  Scene  I. 

Enter  Eixjasilus. 

Erg.  Wretched  is  that  man  who  is  in  search  of  some- 
thing to  eat,  and  finds  that  with  difficulty  ;  but  more  wretched 
is  he  who  both  seeks  with  difficulty,  and  finds  nothing  at  all ; 
most  wretched  is  he,  who,  when  he  desires  to  eat,  has  not 
that  which  he  may  eat.  But,  by  my  faith,  if  I  only  could,  I'd 
willingly  tear  out  the  eyes  of  this  day  ; — with  such  enmity 
has  it  filled  all  people  towards  me.     One  more  starved  out  I 

1  What  passport  f) — Ver.  454.  Being  conscious  of  the  trick  which  they  are 
playing  on  the  worthy  old  man,  Tyndarus  shows  some  alarm  on  hearing  a  pass- 
port, or  "  syngraphus,"  mentioned.  Commentators  are  at  a  loss  to  know  why 
he  should  express  such  alarm.  It  is  difficult  to  say,  but,  probably,  as  there  was  in 
the  passport  a  description  of  the  bearer,  who  would  be  Philocrates  under  the  name 
of  Tyndarus,  it  suddenly  comes  to  the  recollection  of  Tyndarus  that  they  were 
originally  made  prisoners  under  their  proper  names,  and  that  possibly  Philocrates 
may  be  recognized  as  attempting  to  pass  under  an  assumed  name. 


Sc.  1.  THE  CAPTIYES.  447 

never  did  see,  nor  one  more  filled  with  hunger1,  nor  one  who 
prospers  less  in  whatever  he  begins  to  do.  So  much  do  my 
stomach  and  my  throat  take  rest  on  these  fasting  holidays2. 
Away  with  the  profession  of  a  Parasite  to  very  utter  and 
extreme  perdition !  so  much  in  these  days  do  the  young  men 
drive  away  from  them  the  needy  drolls.  They  care  nothing 
now-a-days  for  these  Laconian  men3  of  the  lowest  benches — 
these  whipping-posts,  who  have  their  clever  sayings  without 
provision  and  ivithout  money.  They  now-a-days  seek  those 
who,  when  they've  eaten  at  their  pleasure,  may  give  them  a 
return  at  their  own  houses.  They  go  themselves  to  market, 
which  formerly  was  the  province  of  the  Parasites.  They  go 
themselves  from  the  Forum  to  the  procurers  with  face  as  ex- 
posed4 as  the  magistrates  in  court5,  with  face  exposed,  condemn 
those  who  are  found  guilty ;  nor  do  they  now  value  buffoons  at 
one  farthing6 ;  all  are  so  much  in  love  with  themselves.  For, 
when,  just  now,  I  went  away  from  here,  I  came  to  some  young 
men  in  the  Forum:  "  Good  morrow,"  said  I;  "whither  are 
we  going  together  to  breakfast  ?"    On  this,  they  were  silent. 

1  Filled  with  hunger) — Ver.  471.  This  paradoxical  expression  is  similar  to  the 
one  used  in  the  Aulularia,  1.  45,  "  inaniis  oppletae,"  "  rilled  with  emptiness." 

2  Fasting  holidays) — Ver.  473.  He  means  to  say,  that  as  on  feast  days  and 
holidays  people  abstain  from  work,  so  at  present  his  teeth  and  stomach  have  no 
employment. 

3  These  Laconian  men) — Ver.  476.  The  Parasites,  when  there  was  not  room 
for  them  on  the  "  triclinia,"or  "couches"  at  table,  were  forced  to  sit  on  "  subsellia," 
or  "  benches,"  at  the  bottom  of  the  table.  This  was  like  the  custom  of  the 
Spartans,  or  Laconians,  who,  eschewing  the  luxury  of  reclining,  always  persisted 
in  sitting  at  meals.  The  Spartans,  also,  endured  pain  with  the  greatest  firmness ; 
a  virtue  much  required  by  Parasites,  in  order  to  put  up  with  the  indignities  which 
they  had  to  endure  from  the  guests,  who  daubed  their  faces,  broke  pots  about 
their  heads,  and  boxed  their  ears. 

4  With  face  as  exposed) — Ver.  480.  People,  with  any  sense  of  decency,  would 
resort  to  these  places  either  in  masks,  or  with  a  hood  thrown  over  the  face. 

5  In  court) — Ver.  481.  "  In  tribu."  He  alludes  to  the  trials  which  took  place 
before  the  Roman  people  in  the  "  Comitia  Tributa,"  or  "  assemblies  of  the  tribes," 
where  the  Tribunes  and  iEdiles  acted  as  the  accusers.  The  offences  for  which 
persons  were  summoned  before  the  tribes,  were,  bad  conduct  of  a  magistrate  in  per- 
formance of  his  duties,  neglect  of  duty,  mismanagement  of  a  war,  embezzlement  of 
the  public  money,  breaches  of  the  peace,  usury,  adultery,  and  some  other  crimes. 
The  "  Comitia  Tributa"  were  used  as  courts  of  appeal,  when  a  person  protested 
pgainst  a  fine  imposed  by  a  magistrate. 

«  At  one  farthing)— Ver.  482.  Literally,  "at  a  teruncius,"  which  was  a  small 
com  among  the  Romans,  containing  three  "  uncise,"  "  twelfth  parts  *  or  one 
«uarter  of  the  "  as,"  which  we  generally  take  as  equivalent  to  a  pennr. 


**8  CAPTIVI  ;  Act  IIL 

"  Who  says,  '  here,  at  my  house?  or  who  makes  an  offer  ?"  said 
I.  Just  like  dumb  meu,  they  were  silent,  and  didn't  smile  at 
me.  "  Where  do  we  dine  ?"  said  I.  On  this  they  declined.  1 
said  one  funny  saying  out  of  my  best  bon  mots,  by  which  I 
formerly  used  to  get  feasting  for  a  month ;  not  an  individual 
smiled  ;  at  once  I  knew  that  the  matter  was  arranged  by  con- 
cert. Not  even  one  was  willing  to  imitate  a  dog  when  pro- 
voked ;  if  they  didn't  laugh,  they  might,  at  least,  have  grinned 
with  their  teeth1.  Prom  them  I  went  away,  after  I  saw  that 
I  was  thus  made  sport  of.  I  went  to  some  others ;  then  to 
some  others  I  came  ;  then  to  some  others — the  same  the  result. 
All  treat  the  matter  in  confederacy,  just  like  the  oil-mer- 
chants in  the  Velabrum3.  Now,  I've  returned  thence,  since 
I  see  myself  made  sport  of  there.  In  like  manner  do  other 
Parasites  walk  to  and  fro,  to  no  purpose,  in  the  Forum. 
Now,  after  the  foreign  fashion3,  I'm  determined  to  enforce 
all  my  rights.  Those  who  have  entered  into  a  confederacy,  by 
which  to  deprive  us  of  food  and  life, — for  them  I'll  name  a  day. 
I'll  demand,  as  the  damages,  that  they  shall  give  me  ten  din- 
ners at  my  own  option,  when  provisions  are  dear :  thus  will  I 

1  Grinned  with  their  teeth) — Ver.  491.  That  is,  by  showing  their  teeth  and  grin- 
ning. This  is  not  unlike  the  expression  used  in  the  Psalms  (according  to  the 
translation  in  our  Liturgy) — Ps.  lix.,  ver.  6 — "  They  grin  like  a  dog  and  run 
about  through  the  city." 

2  In  the  Velabrum) — Ver.  494.  The  "  Via  Nova,"  or  "  New  Street,"  at  Eome, 
led  from  the  interior  of  the  city  to  the  "  Velabra."  The  greater  and  the  less 
"  Velabrum"  lay  between  the  Palatine  and  the  Capitoline  Hills,  where  fruits  and 
other  commodities  were  sold  in  booths,  or  under  awnings,  from  which  ("  vela")  the 
streets  probably  derived  their  name.  Varro,  however,  says  that  they  were  so  called 
from  the  verb  "veho,"  "  to  carry;"  because  in  early  times  those  spots  were  tra- 
versed in  boats,  which  mode  of  carriage  was  called  "  velatura."  From  the  present 
passage,  it  appears  that  the  oil-merchants  in  the  "  Velabra"  acted  in  confederacy 
not  to  sell  their  oils  under  a  certain  price. 

3  After  the  foreign  fashion) — Ver.  497.  Some  suppose  that  "  harbarica  lege" 
here  means  "  the  foreign"  or  "  Eoman  law,"  and  that  he  refers  to  the  "  Lex 
Vinnia,  introduced  at  Rome  by  Quintus  Vinnius,  which  was  said  to  have  been 
passed  against  those  persons  who  confederated  for  the  purpose  of  keeping  up  the 
high  prices  of  provisions.  It  is,  however,  somewhat  doubtful  if  there  really  was 
such  a  law ;  and  the  better,  opinion  seems  to  be  that  the  word  "  lege"  means 
"  fashion"  or  "  custom  ;"  and  that  he  refers  to  the  Roman  method  of  trial.  He  will 
accuse  his  former  entertainers  of  a  conspiracy  to  starve  him.  He  will  name  a  day 
for  trial,  "  diem  dicet ;"  he  will  demand  damages  or  a  penalty,  "  irrogabit  mulc- 
tam;"  and  thus  will  he  proceed  at  law  against  them,  "  sic  egerit."  Rost  hat 
written  at  great  length  on  the  meaning  of  this  passage. 


Sc.  III.  THE  CAPTIVES.  449 

do.  Now  I'll  go  hence  to  the  harbour.  There,  is  my  only 
hope  of  a  dinner ;  if  that  shall  fail  me,  I'd.  return  here  to  the 
old  gentleman,  to  his  unsavoury  dinner. 

Scene  II. — Enter  Hegio  and  Aristophontes. 

Heg.  (to  himself).  What  is  there  more  delightful  than  to 
manage  one's  own  interests  well  for  the  public  good1,  just 
as  I  did  yesterday,  when  I  purchased  these  men.  Every 
person,  as  they  see  me,  comes  to  meet  me,  and  congratulates 
me  on  this  matter.  By  thus  stopping  and  detaining  un- 
lucky me,  they've  made  me  quite  tired.  "With  much  ado 
have  I  survived2  from  being  congratulated,  to  my  misfortune. 
At  last,  to  the  Praetor  did  I  get.  There,  scarcely  did  I  rest 
myself.  I  asked  for  a  passport ;  it  was  given  me :  at  once  I 
delivered  it  to  Tyndarus.  He  started  i'or  home.  Thence, 
straightway,  after  that  was  done,  I  passed  by  my  house  ;  and 
I  went  at  once  to  my  brother's,  where  my  other  captives  are. 
I  asked  about  Philocrates  from  Elis,  whether  any  one  01 
them  all  knew  the  person.  This  man  (pointing  to  Aristo- 
phontes)  called  out  that  he  had  been  his  intimate  friend  ;  I 
told  him  that  he  was  at  my  house.  At  once  he  besought 
and  entreated  me  that  I  would  permit  him  to  see  him. 
Forthwith  I  ordered  him  to  be  released  from  chains.  Thence 
have  I  come.  (To  Aristophontes.)  Now,  do  you  follow 
me,  that  you  may  obtain  what  you  have  besought  of  me,  the 
opportunity  of  meeting  with  this  person.  (They  go  into  the 
house.) 

Scene  III. — Enter  Tyndarus,  from  the  house. 

Ttnd.  Now  stands  the  matter  so,  that  I  would  much  rathe'' 
that  I  had  once  existed,  than  that  I  still  exist ;  now  do  my 
hopes,  my  resources,  and  my  succour,  desert  me  and  spurn 
themselves.  This  is  that  day,  when,  for  my  life,  no  safety 
can  be  hoped ;  nor  yet  is  death  my  end  ;  nor  hope  is  there, 

1  For  the  public  good) — Ver.  504.  It  is  possible  that  he  may  here  refer  to  his 
purchase  of  Philocrates,  whose  high  position  among  the  Eleans  would  probably 
tend,  on  his  return  to  his  native  country,  to  promote  peace  between  it  and  the 
people  of  iEtoiia. 

2  With  much  ado  have  I  survived) — Ver.  513.  "V\r eminebam."  Literally, 

"  I  hardly  kept  myself  above"  water.     He  means  that  be  was  dmost  overpowered 
Dy  the  crowds  of  people  congratulating  him. 

2c* 


450  CAPtivi  ;  Act  III 

.n  fact,  to  dispel  this  fear  for  me  ;  nor  cloak  have  I  anywhere 
for  my  deceitful  stratagems  ;  nor  for  my  devices  or  my  sub- 
terfuges is  there  anywhere  a  screen  presented  to  me.  No  de- 
precating is  there  for  my  perfidy  ;  no  means  of  flight  for  my 
offences.  No  refuge  is  there  anywhere  for  my  trusting ;  and 
no  escape  for  my  cunning  schemes.  "What  was  concealed  is  now 
exposed ;  my  plans  are  now  divulged.  The  whole  matter 
is  now  laid  open ;  nor  is  there  any  ado  about  this  matter, 
but  that  I  must  perish  outright,  and  meet  with  destruction, 
both  on  behalf  of  my  master  and  myself.  This  Aristophontes 
has  proved  my  ruin,  who  has  just  now  come  into  the  house. 
He  knows  me.  He  is  the  intimate  friend  and  kinsman  of 
Philocrates.  Not  Salvation  herself1  can  save  me  now,  even 
if  she  wishes  ;  nor  have  I  any  means  of  escape,  unless,  per- 
chance, I  devise  some  artifice  in  my  mind.  {He  meditates.} 
Plague  on  it ! — how  ?  What  can  I  contrive  ? — what  can  I 
think  of?  Some  very  great  folly  and  trifling  I  shall  have  to 
begin  with.     I'm  quite  at  a  loss.     {He  retires  aside.) 

Scene  IV. — Enter  Hegio,  Akistophontes,  and  Slaves, 
from  the  house. 

Heg.  Wbither  am  I  to  say,  now,  that  this  man  has  be- 
taken himself  from  the  house  out  of  doors  ? 

Tynd.  (apart).  Now.  for  a  very  certainty,  I'm  done  for; 
the  enemies  are  coming  to  you,  Tyndarus !  What  shall  I 
say  ? — what  shall  I  talk  of  ?  What  shall  I  deny,  or  what 
confess  ?  All  matters  are  reduced  to  uncertainty.  How 
shall  I  place  confidence  in  my  resources  ?  I  wish  the  Gods 
had  destroyed  you,  before  you  were  lost  to  your  own  country, 
Aristophontes,  who,  from  a  plot  well  concerted,  are  making 
it  disconcerted.  This  plan  is  ruined  outright,  unless  I  find 
out  for  myself  some  extremely  bold  device. 

Heg.  (to  Aeistophontes).  Follow  me.  See,  there  is  the 
man  ;  go  to  him  and  address  him. 

1  Not  Salvation  herself) — Ver.  535.  This  was  a  proverbial  expression  among 
the  Romans.  "  Salus,"  "  Safety"  or  "  Salvation,"  was  worshipped  as  a  Goddess 
at  Rome.  It  is  well  observed,  in  Thornton's  translation,  that  the  word  "  Sains" 
may,  without  ineverenee,  be  translated  "  Salvation,"  on  no  less  authority  than 
that  of  Archbishop  Tillotson.  "  If,"  says  he,  "  men  will  continue  in  their  sins, 
the  redemption  brought  by  Christ  will  be  of  no  advantage  to  them ;  such  as  obsti- 
nately persist  in  an  impenitent  course,"  "ipsa  si  velit  Salus,  servare  non  prtest,* 
11  Salvation  itself  canno'.  save  thera." 


8c.  IV.  THE  CAPTIVES.  451 

Tykd.  {aside,  and  turning  away).  What  mortal  among  mor- 
tals is  there  more  wretched  than  myself? 

Aeist.  (coming  up  to  him).  Why's  this,  that  I'm  to  say 
that  you  are  avoiding  my  gaze,  Tyndarus  ?  And  why  that 
you  are  slighting  me  as  a  stranger,  as  though  you  had  never 
known  me  ?  Why,  I'm  as  much  a  slave  as  yourself;  although 
at  home  I  was  a  free  man,  you,  even  from  your  childhood, 
have  always  served  in  slavery  in  Elis. 

Heg.  I'  faith,  I'm  very  little  surprised,  if  either  he  does 
avoid  your  gaze,  or  if  he  does  shun  you, .who  are  calling  "him 
Tyndarus,  instead  of  Philocrates. 

Tt:nt>.  Hegio,  this  person  was  accounted  a  madman  in 
Elis.  Don't  you  give  ear  to  what  he  prates  about ;  for  at 
home  he  has  pursued  his  father  and  mother  with  spears,  and 
that  malady  sometimes  comes  upon  him  which  is  spit  out1. 
Do  you  this  instant  stand  away  at  a  distance  from  him. 

Heg.  (to  £Ae  Slaves).  Away  with  him  further  off  from  me. 

Arist.  Do  you  say,  you  whipp'd  knave,  that  I  am  mad, 
and  do  you  declare  that  I  have  followed  my  own  father  with 
spears  ?  And  that  I  have  that  malady,  that  it's  necessary  for 
me  to  be  spit  upon2  ? 

1  Which  is  spit  out) — Ver.  566.  Some  would  render  the  words  "  qui  sputatur," 
"  which  is  spit  upon,"  and  fancy  that  they  find  authorities  in  the  ancient  writers  for 
thinking  that  epilepsy  was  treated  by  spitting  upon  the  patient.  However,  it  seems 
much  more  probable,  that  the  notion  was  that  epilepsy  was  cured  by  the  patient 
himself  spitting  out  the  noxious  saliva ;  and  that  the  word  "  sputatur"  means,  "  is 
spit  out,"  i.  e.  "  is  cured  by  spitting."  Celsus  thus  describes  the  "  comitialis  mor- 
bus," "  epilepsy,"  or  M  falling  sickness:"  "  The  person  seized,  suddenly  falls  down ; 
foam  drops  from  the  mouth ;  then,  after  a  little  time,  he  comes  to  himself,  and 
gets  up  again  without  any  assistance."  Pliny,  in  his  Natural  History,  B.  38, 
c.  4,  says :  "  Despuimus  comitiales  morbos,  hoc  est,  contagia  regerimus,"  "  We 
spit  out  the  epilepsy,  that  is,  we  avert  the  contagion."  This  is  said,  probably,  in 
reference  to  a  belief,  that  on  seeing  an  epileptic  person,  if  we  spit,  we  shall  avoid 
the  contagion ;  but  it  by  no  means  follows  that  the  person  so  doing  must  spit  upon 
the  epileptic  person.     We  read  in  the  first  Book  of  Samuel,  ch.  xxi.,  ver.  12: 

•  And  David  laid  up  these  words  in  his  heart,  and  was  sore  afraid  of  Achish,  the 
King  of  Gath.  And  he  changed  his  behaviour  before  them,  and  feigned  himself 
mad  in  their  hands,  and  scrabbled  on  the  doors  of  the  gate,  and  let  his  spittle  fall 
down  on  his  beard."  He  probably  pretended  to  be  attacked  with  epileptic  fits. 
In  fact,  after  due  examination,  there  seems  little  doubt  that  it  was  a  common 
notion  with  the  ancients  that  the  distemper  was  discharged  with  the  saliva. 

2  To  be  spit  upon) — Ver.  559.  Aristophontes  has  understood  the  words,  "  qu. 
sputatur,"  in  the  sense  of  "  which  is  spit  upon,"  and  asks  Tyndarus  if  he  affirms 
that  he  is  afflicted  with  a  disease  which  requires  such  treatment.  Hegio,  to  pacii'j 

2  g2 


452  CAPTIVI ;  Act  III. 

Heg.  Don't  be  dismayed ;  that  malady  afflicts  many  a 
person  to  whom  it  has  proved  wholesome  to  be  spit  upon,  and 
has  been  of  service  to  them. 

Arist.  Why,  what  do  you  say  ?     Do  you,  too,  credit  him  ? 

Heg.  Credit  him  in  what  ?     Arist.  That  I  am  mad? 

Tynd.  Do  you  see  him,  with  what  a  furious  aspect  he'a 
looking  at  you  ?  'Twere  best  to  retire,  Hegio  ;  it  is  as  I  said, 
his  frenzy  grows  apace ;  have  a  care  for  yourself. 

Heg.  I  thought  that  he  was  mad,  the  moment  that  he 
called  you  Tyndarus. 

Tynd.  Why,  he's  sometimes  ignorant  of  his  own  namej 
and  doesn't  know  what  it  is. 

Heg.  But  he  even  said  that  you  were  his  intimate  friend. 

Ttkd.  So  far  from  that,  I  never  saw  him.  Why,  really, 
Alcmaeon,  and  Orestes,  and  Lycurgus1  besides,  are  my  friends 
on  the  same  principle  that  he  is. 

Arist.  Villain,  and  do  you  dare  speak  ill  of  me,  as  well  ? 
Do  I  not  know  you  ? 

Heg.  I'  faith,  it  really  is  very  clear  that  you  don't  know 
him,  who  are  calling  him  Tyndarus,  instead  of  Philocrates. 
Him  whom  you  see,  you  don't  know ;  you  are  addressing  him 
as  the  person  wbom  you  don't  see. 

him,  and  to  show  off  his  medical  knowledge,  tells  him  that  it  has  proved  beneficial 
in  some  diseases  to  be  so  treated ;  but  he  does  not  go  so  far  as  to  say  what  those 
diseases  were.  One  malady,  called  "  herpes,"  or  "  spreading  ulcer,"  was  said  tc 
be  highly  contagious,  but  capable  of  being  cured  by  applications  of  saliva.  Some 
Commentators  here  quote  the  method  which  our  Saviour  adopted  in  curing  the 
blind  man  at  Bethsaida:  "  And  he  took  the  blind  man  by  the  hand,  and  led  him 
out  of  the  town :  and  when  he  had  spat  on  his  eyes  and  put  his  hands  upon  him, 
he  asked  him  if  he  saw  aught."  St.  Mark,  ch.  viii.,  ver.  23.  And  again,  the  ac- 
count given  in  the  ninth  chapter  of  St.  John,  ver.  6:  "  When  he  had  thus  spoken, 
he  spat  on  the  ground,  and  made  clay  of  the  spittle,  and  he  anointed  the  eyes  of 
the  blind  man  with  the  clay."  It  may  be  possible  that  our  Saviour  thought  fit  to 
adopt  these  forms,  in  imitation  of  some  of  the  methods  of  treating  diseases  in  those 
times;  though,  of  course,  his  transcendant  power  did  not  require  their  agency 
Rost,  in  his  Commentaries  on  Plautus,  has  a  very  learned  disquisition  on  the 
meaning  of  the  present  passage. 

1  Alcmceon,  and  Orestes,  and  Lycurgus) — Ver.  568.  He  alludes  to  these  three 
persons  as  being  three  of  the  most  celebrated  men  of  antiquity  that  were  at- 
tacked with  frenzy.  Orestes  slew  his  mother,  Clytemnestra ;  Alcmaeon  killed 
his  mother,  Eriphyle ;  and  Lycurgus,  King  of  Thrace,  on  slighting  the  worship  ot 
Bacchus,  was  afflicted  with  madness,  in  a  fit  of  which  he  hewed  off  his  own  legi 
vith  a  hatchet. 


Sc  IV.  THE  CAPTIYES.  453 

Aeist.  On  the  contrary,  this  fellow's  saying  that  he  is  the 
person  who  he  is  not ;  and  he  says  that  he  is  not  the  person 
who  he  really  is. 

Ttnd.  You've  been  found,  of  course,  to  excel  Philocrates 
in  truthfulness. 

Aeist.  By  my  troth,  as  I  understand  the  'matter,  you've 
been  found  to  brazen  out  the  truth  by  lying.  But  i'  faith, 
prithee,  come  then,  look  at  me. 

Tynd.  {looking  at  him).  "Well!  Aeist.  Say,  now;  do  you 
deny  that  you  are  Tyndarus  ? 

Tykd.  I  do  deny  it,  I  say. 

Aeist.  Do  you  say  that  you  are  Philocrates  ? 

Tykd.  I  do  say  so,  I  say. 

Aeist.  (to  Hegio).  And  do  you  believe  him  ? 

Heg.  More,  indeed,  than  either  you  or  myself.  For  he, 
ji  fact,  who  you  say  that  he  is  (pointing  to  Tykdaeus),  has 
set  out  hence  to-day  for  Elis,  to  this  person's  father. 

Aeist,  What  father,  when  he's  a  slave1. 

Tynd.  And  so  are  you  a  slave,  and  yet  you  were  a  free 
man ;  and  I  trust  that  so  I  shall  be,  if  I  restore  his  son  here 
to  liberty. 

Aeist.  How  say  you,  villain  ?  Do  you  say  that  you  were 
born  a  free  man  [liber]  ? 

Tykd.  I  really  do  not  say  that  I  am  Liber3,  but  that  I  am 
Philocrates. 

Aeist.  How's  this  ?  How  this  scoundrel,  Hegio,  is  making 
sport  of  you  now.  For  he's  a  slave  himself,  and  never,  except 
his  own  self,  had  he  a  slave. 

Tynd.  Because  you  yourself  are  destitute  in  your  own 
country,  and  haven't  whereon  to  live  at  home,  you  wish  all  to 
be  found  like  to  yourself;  you  don't  do  anything  surprising. 
'Tis  the  nature  of  the  distressed  to  be  ill-disposed,  and  to 
envy  the  fortunate. 

1  When  he's  a  slave) — Ver.  580.  Slaves  were  not  considered  to  have  any  legal 
existence ;  and,  therefore,  to  have  neither  parents  or  relations. 

2  That  I  am  Liber) — Ver.  584.  Aristophontes  asks  him  if  he  means  to  assert 
that  he  was  born  a  free  man,  "  liber."  As  "  Liber"  was  also  a  name  of  Bacchus, 
Tyndarus  quibbles,  and  says,  "  I  did  not  assert  that  I  am  Liber,  but  that  I  am  Phi- 
locrates." In  consequence  of  the  idiom  of  the  Latin  language,  his  answer  (nor. 
equidem  me  Liberum,  sed  Philocratem  esse  aio)  will  admit  of  another  quibble, 
and  may  be  read  as  meaning,  "  I  did  not  say  that  I  am  a  free  man,  but  that 
Philocrates  is."  This  may  be  readily  seen  by  the  Latin  scholar,  but  is  not  so  easily 
explained  to  the  English  reader 


154  CAPTITT  ;  Act  IIL 

Arist.  Hegio,  take  you  care,  please,  that  you  don't  persist 
in  rashly  placing  confidence  in  this  man ;  for  sc  far  as  I  see, 
he  is  certainly  now  putting  some  device  in  execution,  in 
saying  that  he  is  redeeming  your  son  from  captivity;  that 
is  by  no  means  satisfactory  to  me. 

Tynd.  I  know  that  you  don't  wish  that  to  be  done  ;  still  I 
shall  effect  it,  if  the  G-ods  assist  me.  I  shall  bring  him  back 
here,  and  he  will  restore  me  to  my  father,  in  Elis.  For  that 
purpose  have  I  sent  Tyndarus  hence  to  my  father. 

Arist.  Why,. you  yourself  are  he;  nor  is  there  any  slave 
in  Elis  of  that  name,  except  yourself. 

Tynd.  Do  you  persist  in  reproaching  me  with  being  a  slave 
— a  thing  that  has  befallen  me  through  the  fortune  of  war  ? 

Arist.  Eeally,  now,  I  cannot  contain  myself. 

Tynd.  {to  Hegio).  Ha!  don't  you  hear  him ?  "Why  don't 
you  take  to  flight  ?  He'll  be  pelting  us  just  now  with 
stones  there,  unless  you  order  him  to  be  seized. 

Arist.  I'm  distracted.  Tynd.  His  eyes  strike  fire  ;  there's 
need  of  a  rope,  Hegio.  Don't  you  see  how  his  body  is 
spotted  all  over  with  livid  spots  ?  Black  bile1  is  disordering 
the  man. 

Arist.  And,  by  my  faith,  if  this  old  gentleman  is  wise, 
black  pitch3  will  be  disordering  you  with  the  executioner, 
and  giving  a  light  to  your  head. 

Tynd.  He's  now  talking  in  his  fit  of  delirium ;  sprites  are 
in  possession  of  the  man. 

Heg.  By  my  troth,  suppose  I  order  him  to  be  seized  ? 

Tynd.  You  would  be  acting  more  wisely. 

Arist.  I'm  vexed  that  I  haven't  a  stone,  to  knock  out  the 

1  Black  bile) — Ver.  602.  A  superabundance  of  the  bile  was  supposed  to  be  pro- 
ductive of  melancholy  madness.  The  word  "melancholy"  is  from  the  Greek 
fie\ayxokia,  "  black  bile." 

2  Black  pitch) — Ver.  603.  He  alludes  to  a  frightful  punishment  inflicted  upon 
malefactors  by  the  Romans.  They  were  either  smeared  over  with  burning  pitch, 
or  were  first  covered  with  pitch,  which  was  then  set  fire  to.  This  punish- 
ment is  supposed  to  have  been  often  inflicted  upon  the  early  Christians.  Juvena 
alludes  to  it  in  his  First  Satire,  1.  155: 

Pone  Tigellinum,  taeda  lucebis  in  ilia, 
Qua  stantes  ardent,  qui  fixo  gutture  fumant. 
"  Describe  Tigellinus  [an  infamous  minister  of  Nero],  and  vou  shall  give  a  li|ht 
by  those  torches,  in  which  those  stand  and  burn    who  send  forth  smoke  with  a 
itake  driven  into  their  throat." 


Sc.  IV.  THE  CAPTIVES.  455 

brains  of  that  whip-scoundrel,  who's  driving  me  to  madness 
by  his  taunts. 

Tynd.  Don't  you  hear  that  he's  looking  for  a  stone  ? 

Aeist.  I  wish  to  speak  with  you  alone,  separately, 
Hegio. 

Heg.  Speak  from  where  you  are,  if  you  want  anything ; 
though  at  a  distance,  I  shall  hear  you. 

Tynd.  Yes,  for,  by  my  faith,  if  you  approach  nearer,  he'll 
be  taking  your  nose  off  with  his  teeth. 

Aeist.  By  heavens,  Hegio,  don't  you  believe  that  I  am 
mad,  or  that  I  ever  was  so,  or  that  I  have  the  malady  which 
that  fellow  avers.  But  if  you  fear  anything  from  me,  order 
me  to  be  bound ;  I  wish  it,  so  long  as  that  fellow  is  bound 
as  well. 

Tykd.  Why  really,  Hegio,  rather  let  him  be  bound  that 
wishes  it.  • 

Arist.  Now  hold  your  tongue  !  I'll  make  you,  you  false 
Philocrates,  to  be  found  out  this  day  to  he  a  real  Tyndarus. 
"Why  are  you  making  signs1  at  me  ? 

Tynd.  I,  making  signs  at  you  ?  {To  Hegio.)  "What  would 
he  do,  if  you  were  at  a  greater  distance  off  ? 

Heg.  What  do  you  say  ?  What  if  I  approach  this  mad- 
man ? 

Tynd.  Nonsense  ;  you'll  be  made  a  fool  of;  he'll  be  pra- 
ting stuff,  to  you,  neither  the  feet  nor  the  head  of  which  will 
ever  be  visible.  The  dress  only'2,  is  wanting;  in  seeing  this 
man,  you  behold  Ajax  himself. 

Heg.  I  don't  care ;  still  I'll  approach  him.  {Advances  to 
Aristophojsttes.) 

Tynd.  {aside).  Now  am  I  utterly  undone;  now  between 

1  Why  are  you  making  signs) — Ver.  617;  "  Abnutas."  The  verb  M  abnuto" 
means,  "  to  nod  to  a  person  that  he  may  desist."  Tyndarus  thinks  that  by  this 
time  Aristophontes  must  surely  understand  the  plan  that  has  been  devised  for 
the  escape  of  Philocrates ;  and,  as  he  is  about  to  step  aside  to  speak  with  Hegio, 
he  makes  a  sign,  requesting  him  to  stop  short  in  his  contradiction  of  what  he  has 
asserted. 

2  The  dress  only) — Ver.  620.  By  "ornamenta"  he  means  the  dress  of  Tragedy. 
The  dresses  of  Comedy  were  essentially  different  from  those  of  Tragedy.  He  means 
to  say,  "  the  man  is  mad ;  if  he  had  only  the  Tragic  garb  on,  you  might  take  him 
for  Ajax  Telamon  in  his  frenzy."  On  being  refused  the  arms  of  Achilles,  Ajax 
became  mad,  and  slaughtered  a  flock  of  sheep,  fancying  that  they  yen  Ulysses 
Mid  the  sens  of  Atreus. 


456  OAI'TTVT;  Act  III 

the  sacrifice  and  tae  stone1  do  I  stand,  nor  know  I  what 
to  do. 

•  Heg.  I  lend  you  my  attention,  Aristophontes,  if  there  is 
anything  that  you  would  wish  with  me. 

Arist.  From  me  you  shall  hear  that  truth,  which  now  you 
think  to  be  false,  Hegio.  But  I  wish,  in  the  first  place,  to 
clear  myself  from  this  with  you — that  madness  does  not  pos- 
sess me,  and  that  I  have  no  malady,  except  that  I  am  in 
captivity  ;  and,  so  may  the  King  of  Gods  and  of  men  make 
me  to  regain  my  native  land,  that  fellow  there  is  no  more 
Philocrates  than  either  I  Or  you. 

Heg.  Come,  then,  tell  me  who  he  is  ? 

Arist.  He  whom  I've  told  you  all  along  from  the  begin- 
ning. •  If  you  shall  find  him  any  other  than  that  person,  I 
show  no  cause  why  I  shouldn't  suffer  the  loss  with  you 
both  of  my  parents  and  of  my  liberty  for  ever. 

Heg.  (to  Tykdarus).  What  say  you  to  this? 

Tykd.  That  I  am  your  slave,  and  you  my  master. 

Heg.  I  didn't  ask  that — were  you  a  free  man  ? 

Tynd.  I  was.  Arist.  But  he  really  wasn't ;  he  is  de- 
ceiving you. 

Tynd.  How  do  you  know  ?  Were  you,  perchance,  the  mid- 
wife of  my  mother,  since  you  dare  to  affirm  this  so  boldly  ? 

Arist.  When  a  boy,  I  saw  yourself,  a  boy. 

Tynd.  But,  grown  up,  I  now  see  you  grown  up ;  so, 
there's  for  you,  in  return.  If  you  did  right,  you  wouldn't 
be  troubling  yourself  about  my  concerns  ;  do  I  trouble  my- 
self about  yours  ? 

Heg.  Was  his  father  called  Thesaurochrysonicocrcesides  ? 
•  Arist.  He  was  not ;  and  I  never  heard  that  name  before 
this  day.     Theodoromedes  was  the  father  of  Philocrates. 

Tynd.  (aside).  I'm  downright  undone.  Why  don't  you 
be  quiet,  heart  of  mine  ?  Go  and  be  stretched,  and  hang  your- 
self;  you  are  throbbing  so,  that  unfortunate  I  can  hardly 
stand  up  for  my  fear. 

Heg.  Is  a  full  assurance  given  me  that  this  was  a  slave  in 
Elis,  and  that  he  is  not  Philocrates  ? 

1  The  sacrifice  and  the  stone) — Ver.  624.  We  learn  from  Livy,  that  in  the  most 
ancient  times  the  animal  for  sacrifice  was  killed  by  being  strnck  with  a  stone ;  ta 
stand  between  the  victim  and  the  stone,  would  consequently  imply,  to  be  in  a  posi 
tion  of  extreme  danger. 


Sc.  IV.  THE  CAPTITES.  457 

Arist.  So  fully,  that  you  will  never  find  this  to  be  other- 
wise ;  but  where  is  he1  now  ? 

Heg.  "Where  I  the  least,  and  he  the  most  could  wish  him- 
self. In  consequence,  then,  I'm  cut  asunder2,  disjointed,  to 
my  sorrow,  by  the  devices  of  this  scoundrel,  who  has  bam- 
boozled me  by  his  tricks  just  as  he  has  thought  fit.  But  do, 
please,  have  a  care  that  you  are  right. 

Arist.  Why,  I  assure  you  of  this,  as  an  ascertained  and 
established  fact. 

Heg.  For  certain  ?  Arist.  Why,  nothing,  I  say,  will  you 
find  more  certain  than  this  certainty.  Philocrates,  from  when 
a  boy,  has  ever  since  that  time  been  my  friend. 

Heg.  But  of  what  appearance  is  your  friend  Philocrates  ? 

Arist.  I'll  tell  you :  with  a  thin  face,  sharp  nose,  light  hair, 
dark  eyes,  somewhat  ruddy,  with  hair  rather  crisp  and  curling. 

Heg.  The  description  is  like.  Ttnd.  {aside).  Aye,  so  much 
so,  indeed,  that  I've  this  day,  much  to  my  sorrow,  got  into 
the  midst  of  this,  i'  faith.  Woe  to  those  unfortunate  rods 
which  this  day  will  be  meeting  their  end  upon  my  back. 

Heg.  I  see  that  I've  been  imposed  upon. 

Tykd.  (aside).  Why,  fetters,  do  you  delay  to  run  towards 
me  and  to  embrace  my  legs,  that  I  may  have  you  in  custody  r 

Heg.  And  have  these  two  rascally  captives  really  deceived 
me  this  day  with  their  tricks  ?  The  other  one  pretended 
that  he  was  the  servant,  and  this  one  that  he  himself  was  the 
master.  I've  lost  the  kernel ;  for  a  security,  I've  left  the 
shell.  To  such  a  degree  have  they  imposed  upon  me3,  both 
on  this  side  and  that,  with  their  trickeries.  Still,  thi3  fellow 
shall  never  have  the  laugh  against  me.  Colaphus,  Cordalio, 
Corax4  (to  the  Slates),  go  you  away  and  bring  out  the  thongs. 

1  But  where  is  he)^-Vev.  645.  Tyndarus  has  probably  betaken  himself  to  some 
corner  of  the  stage,  and  Aristophontes  misses  him  from  his  former  position. 

2  Cut  asunder) — Ver.  646.  "  Deruncinatus"  means,  literally,  cut  asunder  with 
a  "  runcina,"  or  "  saw." 

3  Have  they  imposed  upon  me) — Ver.  661.  "  Os  sublevere  offuciis."  Literally 
"  painted  my  face  with  varnish."  This  expression  is  probably  derived  from  the 
practice  of  persons  concealing  their  defects,  by  painting  over  spots  or  freckles  in 
the  face  for  the  purpose  of  hiding  them. 

*  Colaphus,  Corialio,  Corax) — Ver.  662.  These  are  the  names  of  slaves. 
'  Colaphus"  means,  also,  "  a  blow  with  the  fist."  "  Corax"  was  the  Greek  aanic 
for  a  "  crow,"  and  was  probably  given  to  a  black  slave. 


458  CAPTIVI  ;  Act  III 

Slave.  Are  we  to  be  sent  to  gather  faggots1  ?  (The  Slates 
go  and  hring  the  thongs  from  the  house.) 

Scene  V. — Hegio,  Tyndarus,  Aristophontes,  and 

Slates. 

Heg.  (to  the  Slates).  Put  the  manacles  on  this  whipp'd 
villain. 

Tynd.  (ivhilst  the  Slates  are  fastening  him).  What's  the 
matter  ?     What  have  I  done  wrong  ? 

Heg.  Do  you  ask  the  question  ?  Tou  weeder  and  sower 
of  villanies,  and  in  especial  their  reaper. 

Tynd.  Ought  you  not  to  have  ventured  to  say  the  harrower 
first  ?    For  countrymen  always  harrow  before  they  weed. 

Heg.  Why,  with  what  assurance  he  stands  before  me. 

Tynd.  It's  proper  for  a  servant,  innocent  and  guiltless,  to 
be  fall  of  confidence,  most  especially  before  his  master. 

Heg.  (to  the  Slates).  Bind  this  fellow's  hands  tightly, 
will  you. 

Tynd.  I  am  your  own — do  you  command  them  to  be  cut 
off  even.  But  what  is  the  matter  on  account  of  which  you 
blame  me  ? 

Heg.  Because  me  and  my  fortunes,  so  far  as  in  you  singly 
lay>  DJ  your  rascally  and  knavish  stratagems  you  have  rent 
m  pieces,  and  have  distracted  my  affairs  and  spoiled  all  my 
resources  and  my  plans,  in  that  you've  thus  robbed  me  of 
Phiiocrates  by  your  devices.  I  thought  that  he  was  the  slave, 
you  the  free  man.  So  did  you  say  yourselves,  and  in  this  way 
did  you  change  names  between  you. 

Tynd.  I  confess  that  all  was  done  so,  as  you  say,  and  that 
by  a  stratagem  he  has  got  away  from  you,  through  my  aid 
and  cleverness  ;  and  prithee,  now,  do  you  blame  me  for  that, 
i'  faith  ? 

Heg.  Why,  it  has  been  done  with  your  extreme  torture 
for  the  consequence. 

Tynd.  So  I  don't  die  by  reason  of  my  misdeeds,  I  care  but 
little.  If  I  do  die  here,  then  he  returns  not,  as  he  said 
he  would;  but  when  I'm  dead,  this  act  will  be  remembered 
to  my  honor,  that  I  caused  my  captive  master  to  return 
from  slavery  and  the  foe,  a  free  man,  to  his  father  in  his  native 

1  To  gather  faggots) — Ver.  663.  He  asks  this  question,  because  cords,  "  lora,' 
were  necessary  foi  the  purpose  of  binding  up  faggots. 


S*J.   V.  THE  CAPTIVES,  459 

land ;  and  that  I  preferred  rather  to  expose  my  own  life  to 
peril,  than  that  he  should  be  undone. 

Heg.  Take  care,  then,  to  enjoy  that  fame  at  Acheron. 

Tynd:  He  who  dies  for  virtue's  sake,  still  does  not  perish. 

Heg.  When  I've  tortured  you  in  the  most  severe  man- 
ner, and  for  your  schemes  put  you  to  death,  let  them  say 
either  that  you  have  perished  or  that  you  have  died ;  so  long 
as  you  do  die,  I  don't  think  it  matters  if  they  say  you  live. 

Tynd.  I'  faith,  if  you  do  do  so,  you'll  do  it  not  without  retri- 
bution, if  he  shall  return  here,  as  I  trust  that  he  will  return. 

Aeist.  (aside).  0  ye  immortal  Gods!  I  understand  it 
now ;  now  I  know  what  the  case  really  is.  My  friend' 
Philocrates  is  at  liberty  with  his  father,  in  his  native  land, 
"lis  well;  nor  have  I  any  person  to  whom  I  could  so 
readily  wish  well.  But  this  thing  grieves  me,  that  I've  done 
this  person  a  bad  turn,  who  now  on  account  of  me  and  my 
talking  is  in  chains. 

Heg.  (to  Tyndakus).  Did  I  not  forbid  you  this  day  to 
utter  anything  false  to  me  ? 

Tynd.  Tou  did  forbid  me.  Heg.  Why  did  you  dare  to 
tell  me  lies  ? 

Tynd.  Because  the  truth  would  have  prejudiced  him  whom 
I  was  serving  ;  now  falsehood  has  advantaged  him. 

Heg.  But  it  will  prejudice  yourself. 

Tynd.  'Tis  very  good.  Still,  I  have  saved  my  master,  whom 
I  rejoice  at  being  saved,  to  whom  my  elder  master  had  as- 
signed me  as  a  protector.  But  do  you  think  that  this  was 
wrongly  done  ? 

Heg.  Most  wrongfully.  Tynd.  But  I,  who  disagree  with 
you,  say,  rightly.  For  consider,  if  any  slave  of  yours  had 
done  this  for  your  son,  what  thanks  you  would  have  given 
him.  Would  you  have  given  that  slave  his  freedom  or  not  ? 
Would  not  that  slave  have  been  in  highest  esteem  with  you  ? 
Answer  me  that. 

Heg.  1  think  so.  Ty:nd.  Why,  then,  are  you  angry  with  me? 

Heg.  Because  you  have  proved  more  faithful  to  him  than 
to  myself. 

Tynd.  How  now  ?  Did  you  expect,  in  a  single  night  and 
day,  for  yourself  to  teach  me — a  person  just  made  captive,  a 
recent  slave,  and  in  his  noviciate — that  I  should  rather  con- 
sult your  interest  than  his,  with  whom  from  childhood  I 
have  passed  my  life  ? 


4G0  captivi  ;  Act  III. 

Heg.  Seek,  then,  thanks  from  him  for  that.  (To  the 
Slaves.)  Take  him  where  he  may  receive  weighty  and  thick 
tetters,  thence,  after  that,  you  shall  go  to  the  quarries  for 
cutting  stone.  There,  while  the  others  are  digging  out 
eight  stones,  unless  you  daily  do  half  as  much  work  again, 
you  shall  have  the  name  of  the  six-hundred-stripe  man1. 

Akist.  By  G-ods  and  men,  I  do  entreat  you,  Hegio,  not  to 
destroy  this  man. 

Heg.  He  shall  be  taken  all  care  of2.  For  at  night,  fastened 
with  chains,  he  shall  be  watched;  in  the  daytime,  beneath 
the  ground,  he  shall  be  getting  out  stone.  For  many  a  day 
will  I  torture  him ;  I'll  not  respite  him  for  a  single  day. 

Aeist.  Is  that  settled  by  you  r  Heg.  Not  more  settled 
that  I  shall  die.  (To  the  Slaves.)  Take  him  away  this  instant 
to  Hippolytus,  the  blacksmith  ;  bid  thick  fetters  to  be  ri- 
vetted  on  him.  From  there  let  him  be  led  outside  the  gate 
to  my  freedman,  Cordalus,  at  the  stone-quarries.  And  tell 
him  that  I  desire  this  man  so  to  be  treated,  that  he  mayn't 
be  in  any  respect  worse  off  than  he  who  is  the  most  severely 
treated. 

Ttnd.  Why,  since  you  are  unwilling,  do  I  desire  myself  to 
survive  ?  At  your  own  hazard  is  the  risk  of  my  life.  After 
death,  no  evil  have  I  to  apprehend  in  death.  Though  1 
should  live  even  to  extreme  age,  still,  short  is  the  space  for 
enduring  what  you  threaten  me  with.  Farewell  and  prosper ; 
although  you  are  deserving  for  me  to  say  otherwise.  You, 
iVristophontes,  as  you  have  deserved  of  me,  so  fare  you ;  for 
on  your  account  has  this  befallen  me. 

Heg.  (to  the  Slaves).  Carry  him  off. 

Ttnd.  But  this  one  thing  I  beg,  that,  if  Philocrates  should 
come  back  here,  you  will  give  me  an  opportunity  of  meeting 
him. 

Heg.  (to  the  Slaves).  At  your  peril,  if  you  don't  this  in- 
stant remove  him  from  my  sight.  (The  Slaves  lay  hold  of 
Tyndarus,  and  push  him  along.) 

1  Six-hundred-stripe  man)— Ver.  731.  "  Sexcentoplago."  This  is  a  compound 
word,  coined  by  the  author. 

2  He  shall  be  taken  all  care  of)— Ver.  733.  Struck  with  admiration  at  his 
fidelity,  Aristophontes  begs  Hegio  not  to  destroy  Tyndarus.  As  the  verb  "  perduis" 
might  also  mean  "  lose"  him,  Hegio  ironically  takes  it  in  the  latter  sense,  and  says 
that  there  is  no  fear  of  that,  for  he  shall  be  well  taken  care  of;  or,  in  othe» 
words,  strictly  watched. 


8c.  VI.  THE  CAPTIVES.  461 

Ttnd.  I'  troth,  this  really  is  violence1,  to  be  both  dragged 
and  pushed  at  the  same  time.  (He  is  borne  off  by  the 
Slaves.) 

Scene  VI. — Hegio  and  Aristopiiontjjs. 

Heg.  He  has  been  led  off  straight  to  prison2,  as  he  de- 
serves. Let  no  one  presume  to  attempt  such  an  enterprise. 
Had  it  not  been  for  you  who  discovered  this  to  me,  still  would 
they  have  been  leading  me  by  the  bridle  with  their  tricks. 
Now  am  I  resolved  henceforth  never  to  trust  any  person  in 
anything.  This  once  I  have  been  deceived  enough ;  I  did 
hope,  to  my  sorrow,  that  I  had.  rescued  my  son  from  slavery. 
That  hope  has  forsaken  me.  I  lost  one  son,  whom,  a  child 
in  his  fourth  year,  a  slave  stole  from  me ;  and,  indeed,  never 
since  have  I  found  either  slave  or  son;  the  elder  one  has 
fallen  in  the  hands  of  the  enemy.  "What  guilt  is  this  of  mine  ? 
As  though  I  had  become  the  father  of  children  for  the  purpose 
of  being  childless.  {To  Aristophontes.)  Follow  this  way. 
I'll  conduct  you  back  where  you  were.  I'm  determined  to 
have  pity  upon  no  one,  since  no  one  has  pity  upon  me. 

Aeist.  Forth  from  my  chains  with  evil  omen  did  I  come  ; 
now  I  perceive  that  with  like  ill  omen  to  my  bonds  I  must 
return.  (Exeunt. 

Act  IV. — Scene  I. 
Enter  Ergasilus3. 

Erg.  Supreme  Jove!  thou  dost  preserve  me,  and  dost 
augment  my  means.     Plenty,  extreme  and  sumptuous,  dost 

1  This  really  is  violence) — Ver.  755.  According  to  Suetonius,  Julius  Caesar 
used  an  exactly  similar  expression  when  first  attacked  by  his  murderers  in  the 
senate-house.  On  Tullius  Cimber  seizing  hold  of  his  garments  he  exclaimed, 
"  Ita  quidem  vis  est !"  "  Why,  really,  this  is  violence !" 

2  To  prison) — Ver.  756.  "  Phylacam."  This  is  a  Greek  word  Latinized,  mean- 
ing "prison"  or  "  confinement." 

3  Ergasilus)  He  has  just  come  from  the  harbour,  where  he  has  seen  the  son 
of  Hegio,  together  with  Philocrates  and  Stalagmus,  landing  from  the  packet-toat. 
Now,  as  he  speaks  still  of  his  intended  dinner  with  Hegio,  to  which  he  had  been 
invited  in  the  earlier  part  of  the  Play,  we  must  conclude,  that  since  then,  Philo- 
crates has  taken  ship  from  the  coast  of  iEtolia,  arrived  in  Elis,  procured  the  libe- 
ration of  Philopolemus,  and  returned  with  him,  all  in  the  space  of  a  few  hours. 
This,  however,  although  the  coast  of  Elis  was  only  about  fifteen  miles  from  that  ol 
iEtolia,  is  not  at  all  consistent  with  probability ;  and  the  author  has  been  much  cen- 
sured by  some  Commentators,  especially  by  Lessing,  on  account  of  his  negligence. 


462  ■  ciptiyi;  Act  IV, 

thou  present  to  me ;  celebrity,  profit,  enjoyment,  mirth,  fes- 
tivity, holidays,  sights,  provisions,  carousings,  abundance,  joy- 
ousness.  And  to  no  man  have  I  now  determined  with  myself 
to  go  a-begging;  for  I'm  able  either  to  profit  my  friend  or 
to  destroy  my  enemy,  to  such  extent  has  this  delightful  day 
heaped  delights  upon  me  in  its  delightfulness.  I  have  lighted 
upon  a  most  rich  inheritance  without  incumbrances1.  Now 
will  I  wend  my  way  to  this  old  gentleman  Hegio,  to  whom  I 
am  carrying  blessings  as  great  as  he  himself  prays  for  from 
the  Gods,  and  even  greater.  Now,  this  is  my  determination, 
in  the  same  fashion  that  the  slaves  of  Comedy2  are  wont,  so 
will  I  throw  my  cloak  around  my  neck,  that  from  me,  the 
first  of  all,  he  may  learn  this  matter.  And  I  trust  that  I, 
by  reason  of  this  news,  shall  find  provision  up  to  the  end. 

Scene  II. — Unter  Hegio,  at  a  distance. 

Heg.  (to  himself).  The  more  that  I  revolve  this  matter  in 
my  breast,  the  more  is  my  uneasiness  of  mind  increased.  That 
I  should  have  been  duped  in  this  fashion  to-day !  and  that  I 
wasn't  able  to  see  through  it !  "When  this  shall  be  known, 
then  I  shall  be  laughed  at  all  over  the  city.  The  very  mo- 
ment that  I  shall  have  reached  the  Forum,  all  will  be  saying, 
"  This  is  that  clever  old  gentleman,  who  had  the  trick  played 
him."  But  is  this  Ergasilus,  that  I  see  coming  at  a  distance  ? 
Surely  he  has  got  his  cloak  gathered  up ;  what,  I  wonder^  is 
he  going  to  do  ?    • 

Erg.   (advancing,  and  talking  to   himself).    Throw  aside 

It  must,  however,  be  remembered,  that  Plautus  was  writing  for  a  Roman  audience, 
the  greater  part  of  whom  did  not  know  whether  Elis  was  one  mile  or  one  hundred 
from  the  coast  of  iEtolia.  We  may  suppose,  too,  that  Philopolemus  had  already 
caused  Stalagmus,  the  runaway  slave,  to  be  apprehended  before  the  arrival  of  Phi- 
locrates  in  Elis. 

1  An  inheritance  without  incumbrances) — Ver.  780.  "Sine  sacris  hereditas." 
The  meaning  of  this  expression  has  been  explained  in  the  Notes  to  the  Trinummus, 

484. 

2  Slaves  of  Comedy) — Ver.  783.  This  was  done  that,  when  expedition  was  re- 
quired, the  cloak  might  not  prove  an  obstruction  to  the  wearer  as  he  walked.  The 
slaves  in  Comedies  usually  wore  the  "pallium,"  and  as  they  were  mostly  active, 
bustling  fellows,  would  have  it  tucked  tightly  around  them.  The  "  pallium " 
was  usually  worn  passed  over  the  left  shoulder,  then  drawn  behind  the  back,  and 
andcr  the  left  arm,  leaving  it  bare,  and  then  thrown  again  over  the  left  shoulder. 


Sc.  II.  THE  CAPTIVES.  4()3 

from  you  all  tardiness,  Ergasilus,  and  speed  on  this  business. 
I  threaten,  and  I  strictly  charge  no  person  to  stand  in  my  way, 
unless  any  one  shall  be  of  opinion  that  he  has  lived  long 
enough.  For  whoever  does  come  in  my  way,  shall  stop  me 
upon  his  face.  (He  runs  along,  flourishing  his  arms  about.) 

Heg.  (to  himself).  This  fellow's  beginning  to  box. 

Erg.  (to  himself).  I'm  determined  to  do  it ;  so  that  every 
one  may  pursue  his  own  path,  let  no  one  be  bringing  any  of 
his  business  in  this  street ;  for  my  fist  is  a  balista,  my  arm  is 
my  catapulta,  my  shoulder  a  battering-ram ;  then  against 
whomsoever  I  dart  my  knee,  I  shall  bring  him  to  the  ground. 
I'll  make  all  persons  to  be  picking  up  their  teeth1,  whom- 
soever I  shall  meet  with. 

Heg  (to  himself).  What  threatening  is  this  ?  For  I  can- 
not  wonder  enough. 

Erg.  I'll  make  him  always  to  remember  this  day  and  place, 
and  myself  as  well.  "Whoever  stops  me  upon  my  road,  I'll 
make  him  put  a  stop  to  his  own  existence. 

Heg.  (to  himself).  "What  great  thing  is  this  fellow  pre- 
paring to  do,  with  such  mighty  threats  ? 

Erg.  I  first  give  notice,  that  no  one,  by  reason  of  his  own 
fault,  may  be  caught — keep  yourselves  in-doors  at  home,  and 
guard  yourselves  from  my  attack. 

Heg.  (to  himself).  By  my  faith,  'tis  strange  if  he  hasn't 
got  this  boldness  by  means  of  his  stomach.  "Woe  to  that 
wretched  man,  through  whose  cheer  this  fellow  has  become 
quite  swaggering. 

Erg.  Then  the  bakers,  that  feed  swine,  that  fatten  their 
pigs  upon  refuse  bran,  through  the  stench  of  which  no  one 
can  pass  by  a  baker's  shop ;  if  I  see  the  pig  of  any  one  of 
them  in  the  public  way,  I'll  beat  the  bran  out  of  the  masters' 
themselves  with  my  fists. 

Heg.  (to  himself).  Royal  and  imperial  edicts  does  he  give 
out.  The  fellow  is  full ;  he  certainly  has  his  boldness  from 
his  stomach. 

Erg.  Then  the  fishmongers,  who  supply  stinking  fish  to 
the  public — who  are  carried  about  on  a  gelding,  with  his 

1  To  be  picking  up  their  teeth) — Ver.  803.  "  Dentilegos."  He  says  that  he  will 
knock  their  teeth  out,  and  so  make  them  pick  them  up  from  the  ground.  We  must 
suppose  that  while  he  is  thus  hurrying  on,  he  is  walking  up  one  of  the  long 
itreets  which  were  represented  as  emerging  on  the  Roman  stage,  opposite  tt  tb« 
nuQience. 


464  captivi;  Act  IV. 

galloping  galling  pace1 — the  stench  of  whom  drives  all  the 
loungers  in  the  Basilica2  into  the  Forum,  I'll  bang  their 
heads  with  their  bulrush  fish-baskets,  that  they  may  under- 
stand what  annoyance  they  cause  to  the  noses  of  other 
people.  And  then  the  butchers,  as  well,  who  render  the  sheep 
destitute  of  their  young — who  agree  with  you  about  killing 
lamb3,  and  then  offer  you  lamb  at  double  the  price — who 
give  the  name  of  wether  mutton  to  a  ram — if  I  should 
only  see  that  ram  in  the  public  way,  I'll  make  both  ram  and 
owner  most  miserable  beings. 

Heg.  (to  himself).  Well  done!  He  really  does  give  out 
edicts  fit  for  an  iEdile,  and  'tis  indeed  a  surprising  thing  if  the 
iEtolians  haven't  made  him  inspector  of  markets4. 

Eeg.  No  Parasite  now  am  I,  but  a  right  royal  king  of 
kings ;  so  large  a  stock  of  provision  for  my  stomach  is  there 
at  hand  in  the  harbour.  But  why  delay  to  overwhelm  this 
old  gentleman  Hegio  with  gladness  ?  "With  him,  not  a  person 
among  mankind  exists  equally  fortunate. 

1  Galling  pace) — Ver.  819.  "Crucianti"  may  mean  either  "  tormenting  "  the 
spectator  by  reason  of  the  slowness  of  its  pace,  or  galling  to  the  rider.  "  Quadru- 
pedanti  crucianti  cauterio "  is  a  phrase,  both  in  sound  and  meaning,  much  re- 
sembling what  our  song-books  call  the  "  galloping  dreary  dun." 

2  In  the  Basilica) — Ver.  820.  The  M  Basilica  "  was  a  building  which  served  as  a 
court  of  law,  and  a  place  of  meeting  for  merchants  and  men  of  business.  The 
name  was  perhaps  derived  from  the  Greek  word  ftaaikcvs,  as  the  title  of  the 
second  Athenian  Archon,  who  had  his  tribunal  or  court  of  justice.  The  building 
was  probably,  in  its  original  form,  an  insulated  portico.  The  first  edifice  of  this 
kind  at  Rome  was  erected  B.C.  184;  probably  about  the  period  when  this  Play  was 
composed.  It  was  situate  in  the  Forum,  and  was  built  by  Porcius  Cato,  from  whom 
it  was  called  the  "  Porcian  Basilica."  Twenty  others  were  afterwards  erected  at 
different  periods  in  the  city.  The  loungers  here  mentioned,  in  the  present  in- 
stance, were  probably  sauntering  about  under  the  porticos  of  the  Basilica,  when 
their  olfactory  nerves  were  offended  by  the  unsavoury  smell  of  the  fishermen'i 
baskets. 

3  About  killing  lamb) — Ver.  824.  In  these  lines  he  seems  to  accuse  the 
outchers  of  three  faults — cruelty,  knavery,  and  extortion.  The  general  reading  is 
"  duplam,"  but  Rost  suggests  "  dupla,"  "  at  double  the  price."  If  "  duplam  "  is 
retained,  might  it  not  possibly  mean  that  the  butchers  agree  to  kill  lamb  for  you, 
and  bring  to  you  "  duplam  agninam,"  "  double  lamb,'"  or,  in  other  words,  lamb 
twice  as  old  as  it  ought  to  be  ?  No  doubt  there  was  some  particular  age  at  which 
Iamb,  in  the  estimation  of  Ergasilus  and  his  brother-epicures,  was  considered  to  be 
in  its  greatest  perfection. 

4  Inspector  of  markets) — Ver.  829.  "  Agoranomum."  The  ^Edi'es  were  the 
inspectors  of  markets  at  Rome,  while  the  "  Agoranomi "  had  a  similat  office  in  the 
Grecian  cities. 


Sc.  II.  THE  CAPTIVES.  465 

Heg.  (apart).  "What  joy  is  this,  that  he.  thus  joyous,  is 
going  to  impart  to  me  ? 

Erg.  (knocking  at  Hegio's  door).  Hallo,  hallo! — where 
are  you  ?     Is  any  one  coming  to  open  this  door  ? 

Heg.  (apart).  This  fellow's  betaking  himself  to  my  house 
to  dine. 

Eeg.  Open  you  both  these  doors1,  before  I  shall  with 
knocking  cause  the  destruction,  piecemeal,  of  the  doors. 

Heg.  (apart).  I'd  like  much  to  address  the  fellow.  (Aloud.) 
Ergasilus! 

Erg.  Who's  calling  Ergasilus?  Heg.  Turn  round,  and 
look  at  me. 

Erg.  (not  seeing  who  it  is) .  A  thing  that  Fortune  does  not 
do  for  you,  nor  ever  will  do,  you  bid  me  to  do.    But  who  is  it  ? 

Heg.  Look  round  at  me.     'Tis  Hegio. 

Erg.  (turning  round).  O  me!  Best  of  the  very  best  of 
men,  as  many  as  exist,  you  have  arrived  opportunely. 

Heg.  You've  met  with  some  one  at  the  harbour  to  dine 
with  ;    through  that  you  are  elevated. 

Erg.  Give  me  your  hand.     Heg.  My  hand  ? 

Erg.  Give  me  your  hand,  I  say,  this  instant. 

Heg.  Take  it.     (Giving  Mm  Ms  hand.) 

Erg.  Rejoice.     Heg.  Why  should  I  rejoice  ? 

Erg.  Because  I  bid  you;  come  now,  rejoice. 

Heg.  I'  faith,  my  sorrows  exceed  my  rejoicings. 

Erg.  'Tis  not  so,  as  you  shall  find ;  I'll  at  once  drive  away 
every  spot  of  sorrow2  from  your  body.  Rejoice  without  re- 
straint. 

Heg.  I  do  rejoice,  although  I  don't  at  all  know  why  I 
should  rejoice. 

Erg.  You  do  rightly  ;  now  order Heg.  Order  what  ? 

Erg.  A  large  fire  to  be  made. 

Heg.  A  large  fire  ?  Erg.  So  I  say,  that  a  huge  one  it 
must  be. 

Heg.  What,  you  vulture,  do  you  suppose  that  for  your 
sake  I'm  going  to  set  my  house  on  fire  ? 

Erg.  Don't  be  angry.  Will  you  order,  or  will  you  not 
order,  the  pots  to  be  put  on,  and  the  saucepans  to  be  washed 

1  Both  these  doors) — Ver.  836.  The  street-doors  of  the  ancients  were  generally 
bivalve,"  or  "  folding-doors." 

*  Every  spot  of  sorrow  ) — Ver.  846.    He  alludes,  figuratively,  to  the  art  of  th« 
fullrr  or  scourer,  in  taking  the  spots  out  of  soiled  garments. 
2    H 


466  captivi  ;  Act  IY 

out,  the  bacon  and  the  dainties  to  be  made  warm  in  the  heated 
cooking-stoves,  another  one,  too,  to  go  purchase  the  fish  ? 

Heg.  This  fellow's  dreaming  while  awake. 

Eiig.  Another  to  buy  pork,  and  lamb,  and  pullets. 

Heg.  You  understand  how  to  feed  well,  if  you  had  the 
means. 

Erg.  Gammons  of  bacon,  too,  and  lampreys,  spring  pickled 
tunny-lish,  mackerel,  and  sting-ray ;  large  fish,  too,  and  soft 
cheese. 

Heg.  You  will  have  more  opportunity,  Ergasilus,  here  at 
my  house,  of  talking  about  these  things  than  of  eating  them. 

Erg.  Do  you  suppose  that  I'm  saying  this  on  my  own 
account  ? 

Heg.  You  will  neither  be  eating  nothing  here  to-day,  nor 
yet  much  more  than  usual,  so  don't  you  be  mistaken.  Do  you 
then  bring  an  appetite  to  my  house  for  your  every-day  fare. 

Erg.  Why,  I'll  so  manage  it,  that  you  yourself  shall  wish 
to  be  profuse,  though  I  myself  should  desire  you  not. 

Heg.  What,  I  ?     Erg.  Yes,  you. 

Heq.  Then  you  are  my  master.  Erg.  Yes,  and  a  kindly 
disposed  one.     Do  you  wish  me  to  make  you  happy  ? 

Heg.  Certainly  I  would,  rather  than  miserable. 

Erg.  Give  me  your  hand.  Heg.  (extending  Ms  hand). 
Here  is  my  hand. 

Erg.  All  the  Gods  are  blessing  you. 

Heg.  I  don't  feel  it  so.  Erg.  Why,  you  are  not  in  a 
quickset  hedge1,  therefore  you  don't  feel  it ;  but  order  the 
vessels,  in  a  clean  state,  to  be  got  for  you  forthwith  in 
readiness  for  the  sacrifice,  and  one  lamb  to  be  brought  here 
with  all  haste,  a  fat  one. 

Heg.  Why  ?     Erg.  That  you  may  offer  sacrifice. 

Heg.  To  which  one  of  the  Gods  ? 

Erg.  To  myself,  i'  faith,  for  now  am  I  your  supreme 
Jupiter.  I  likewise  am  your  salvation,  your  fortune,  your 
life,  your  delight,  your  joy.  Do  you  at  once,  then,  make 
this  Divinity  propitious  to  you  by  cramming  him. 

1  In  a  quickset  hedge)— Ver.  865.    Here  is  a  most  wretched  attempt  at  wit, 
which  cannot  be  expressed  in  a  literal  translation.     Hegio  says,  "  Nihil  sentio," 
"  I  don't  feel  it."     Ergasilus  plays  upon  the  resemblance  of  the  verb  "  sentio  "  to  I 
u  sentis  "  and  "  senticetum,"  a  "  bramble-bush  *  or  quickset  hedge ;"  and  says,  | 
«  You  don't  feel  it  so,"  "  non  sentis,"  "  because  you  are  not  in  a  quickset  hedge,' 
M  in  senticeto." 


Sc,  II.  TIIE  CAPTIVES.  467 

Heg.  You  seem  to  me  to  be  hungry. 

Erg.  For  myself  am  I  hungry,  and  not  for  you. 

Heg.  I  readily  allow  of  it  at  your  own  good  will. 

Erg.  I  believe  you  ;  from  a  boy1  you  were  in  the  habit — 

Heg.  May  Jupiter  and  the  Gods  confound  you. 

Erg.  I'  troth,  'tis  fair  that  for  my  news  you  should  return 
me  thanks ;  such  great  happiness  do  I  now  bring  you  from 
the  harbour. 

Heg.  Now  you  are  flattering  me.  Begone,  you  simpleton ; 
you  have  arrived  behind  time,  too  late. 

Erg.  If  I  had  come  sooner,  then  for  that  reason  you  might 
rather  have  said  that.  Now,  receive  this  joyous  news  of  me 
which  I  bring  you  ;  for  at  the  harbour  I  just  now  saw  your 
son  Philopolemus  in  the  common  fly-boat,  alive,  safe  and 
sound,  and  likewise  there  that  other  young  man  together  with 
him,  and  Stalagmus  your  slave,  who  fled  from  your  house, 
who  stole  from  you  your  little  son,  the  child  of  four  years  old. 

Heg.  Away  with  you  to  utter  perdition !  Tou  are  trifling 
with  me. 

Erg.  So  may  holy  Gluttony2  love  me,  Hegio,  and  so  may 
she  ever  dignify  me  with  her  name,  I  did  see 

Heg.  My  son  ?     Erg.  Your  son,  and  my  good  Genius. 

Heg.  That  Elean  captive,  too  ? 

Erg.  Yes,  by  Apollo3.  Heg.  The  slave,  too  ?  My  slave 
Stalagmus,  he  that  stole  my  son ? 

1  From,  a  boy) — Ver.  872.  An  indelicate  allusion  is  covertly  intended  in  this  line. 

2  So  may  holy  Gluttony) — Ver.  882.  The  Parasite  very  appropriately  deifies 
Gluttony:  as  the  Goddess  of  Bellyful  would,  of  course,  merit  his  constant  worship. 

3  Pes,  by  Apollo) — Ver.  885.  In  the  exuberance  of  his  joy  at  his  prospects  of 
good  eating,  the  Parasite  gives  this,  and  his  next  five  replies,  in  the  Greek  lan- 
guage ;  just  as  the  diner-out,  and  the  man  of  bon-mots  and  repartee,  might  in 
our  day  couch  his  replies  in  French,  with  the  shrug  of  the  shoulder  and  the 
becoming  grimace.  He  first  swears  by  Apollo,  and  then  by  Cora,  which  may  mean 
either  a  city  of  Campania  so  called,  or  the  Goddess  Proserpine,  who  was  called  by 
the  Greeks,  Koprj,  "  the  maiden."  He  then  sweats  by  four  places  in  Campania — 
Praeneste,  Signia,  phrysinone,  and  Alatrium.  As  the  scene  is  in  Greece,  Hegio 
asks  him  why  he  swears  by  these  foreign  places ;  to  which  he  gives   answer 

flmerely  because  they  are  as  disagreable  as  the  unsavoury  dinner  of  vegetables 
i  which  he  had  some  time  since  promised  him.  This  is,  probably,  merely  an  excuse 
for  obtruding  a  slighting  remark  upon  these  places,  which  would  meet  with  a  ready 
response  from  a  Roman  audience,  as  the  Campanians  had  sided  with  Hannibal 
against  Rome  in  the  second  Punic  war.  They  were  probably  miserable  placet 
(besides,  on  which  the  more  refined  Romans  looked  with  supreme  contempt. 
2Ftt 


46S  captivi  ;  Act  IV. 

Erg.  Yes,  by  Cora.     Heg.  So  long  a  time  ago  ? 

Erg.  Yes,  by  Prseneste  !     Heg.  Is  be  arrived  ? 

Erg.  Yes,  by  Signia !     Heg.  For  sure? 

Erg.  Yes,  by  Phrysinone  !  Heg.  Have  a  care,  if'  you 
please. 

Erg.  Yes,  by  Alatrium !  Heg.  Why  are  you  swearing 
by  foreign  cities  ? 

Erg.  Why,  because  they  are  just  as  disagreable  as  you 
were  declaring  your  fare  to  be. 

Heg.  Woe  be  to  you!  Erg.  Because  that  you  don't 
believe  me  at  all  in  what  I  say  in  sober  earnestness.  But 
of  what  country  was  Stalagmus,  at  the  time  when  he  de- 
parted hence  ? 

Heg.  A  Sicilian.  Erg.  But  now  he  is  not  a  Sicilian — 
he  is  a  Boian ;  he  has  got  a  Boian  woman1.  A  wife,  I 
suppose,  has  been  given  to  him  for  the  sake  of  obtaining 
children. 

Heg.  Tell  me,  have  you  said  these  words  to  me  in  good 
earnest  ? 

Erg.  In  good  earnest.  Heg.  Immortal  Gods,  I  seem  to 
be  born  again,  if  you  are  telling  the  truth. 

Erg.  Do  you  say  so  ?  Will  you  still  entertain  doubts, 
when  I  have  solemnly  sworn  to  you  ?  In  fine,  Hegio,  if  you 
have  little  confidence  in  my  oath,  go  yourself  to  the  harbour 
and  see. 

Heg.  I'm  determined  to  do  so.  Do  you  arrange  in-doors 
what's  requisite.  Use,  ask  for,  take  from  my  larder  what 
you  like ;  I  appoint  you  cellarman. 

Erg.  Now,  by  my  troth,  if  I  have  not  prophesied  truly 
to  you,  do  you  comb  me  out  with  a  cudgel. 

Heg.  I'll  find  you  in  victuals  to  the  end,  if  you  are  telling 
me  the  truth. 

Erg.  Whence  shall  it  he  ?  Heg.  Erom  myself  and  from 
my  son. 

1  Got  a  Boian  woman) — Ver.  893.  There  is  an  indelicate  meaning  in  the  ex- 
pression "  Boiam  terere."  The  whole  line  is  intended  as  a  play  upon  words. 
"  Boia  "  means  either  "  a  collar,"  which  was  placed  round  a  prisoner's  neck,  or  a 
female  of  the  nation  of  the  Boii  in  Gaul.  "  Boiam  terere  "  may  mean  either  "  to 
have  the  prisoner's  collar  on,"  or,  paraphrastically,  "  to  be  coupled  with  a  Boian 
woman."  Ergasilus  having  seen  Stalagmus  in  the  packet-boat  with  this  collar 
on,  declares  that  Stalagmus  is  a  Sicilian  no  longer,  for  he  has  turned  Boian, 
having  a  Boian  helpmate. 


So.  III.  THE  CAPTIVES.  469 

Ebg.  Do  you  promise  that  ?     Heg.  I  do  promise  it. 
Erg.  But  I,  in  return,  promise1  you  that  your  son  has 
arrived. 

Heg.  Manage  as  well  as  ever  you  can. 
Erg.  A  happy  walk  there  to  you,  and  a  happy  walk  back. 

(Exit  Hegio, 

Scene  III. — Ergasiltjs,  alone. 

Erg.  He  has  gone  away  from  here,  and  has  entrusted  to  me 
the  most  important  concern  of  catering.  Immortal  Gods  ! 
how  I  shall  now  be  slicing  necks  off  of  sides ;  how  vast  a 
downfall  will  befall  the  gammon2  ;  how  vast  a  belabouring  the 
bacon !  How  great  a  using-up  of  udders,  how  vast  a  bewail- 
ing for  the  brawn  !  How  great  a  bestirring  for  the  butchers, 
how  great  a  'preparation  for  the  porksellers !  But  if  I  were 
to  enumerate  the  rest  of  the  things  which  minister  to  the 
supply  of  the  stomach,  'twould  be  sheer  delay.  Now  will  I 
go  off  to  my  government,  to  give  laws  to  the  bacon,  and, 
those  gammons  that  are  hanging  uncondemned,8  to  give  aid 
to  them.     (Goes  into  the  house.) 

Act  V. — Scene  I. 

Enter  a  Lad,  a  servant  of  Hegio. 

Lad.  May  Jupiter  and  the  Deities  confound  you,  Erga- 

silus,  and  your  stomach,  and  all  Parasites,  and  every  one 

|  who  henceforth  shall  give  a  dinner  to  Parasites.     Destrue- 

1  /,  in  return,  promise) — Ver.  904.  Ergasilus  says,  "  Do  you  really  promise  me 
this  fine  entertainment  ?"  To  which,  Hegio  answers,  "  Spondeo,"  "  I  do  promise." 
On  this,  Ergasilus  replies,  "  that  your  son  really  has  returned,  I  answer  you," 
"  respondeo,"  or,  as  he  intends  it  to  be  meant,  "  I  promise  you  once  again,"  or 
"  in  return  for  your  promise." 

2  Befall  the  gammon) — Ver.  908.  An  alliteration  is  employed  in  these  two  lines, 
which  cannot  be  well  kept  up  in  a  literal  translation.  As,  however,  in  the  trans- 
lation an  attempt  is  made  to  give  the  spirit  of  the  passage,  the  literal  meaning  may 
be  here  stated.  "  Pernis  pestis,"  "  a  plague  to  the  gammons ;"  "  labes  larido,"  "  a 
fall  for  the  bacon;"  "  sumini  absumedo,"  "a  consumption  of  udder;"  "callo 
calamitas,"  "  destruction  to  the  brawn ;"  and  "  laniis  lassitudo,"  "  weariness  tc 
the  butchers."  Sows'  udder,  with  the  milk  in  it,  first  dried,  and  then  cooked  in 
some  peculiar  manner,  was  considered  a  great  delicacy  by  the  Roman  epicures. 

3  Hanging  uncondemned)— Ver.  913.  He'll  commute  the  punishment  of  the 
gammons  and  hams,  for  they  shall  hang  no  longer. 


4>70  CAFTIV1 ;  Act  V, 

tioii  and  devastation  and  ruin  have  just  now  entered  our 
house.  I  was  afraid  that  he  would  be  making  an  attack  on 
me,  as  though  he  had  been  an  hungry  wolf.  And  very  dread- 
fully, upon  my  faith,  was  I  frightened  at  him  ;  he  made  such 
a  gnashing  with  his  teeth.  On  his  arrival,  the  whole  larder, 
with  the  meat,  he  turned  upside  down.  He  seized  a  knife, 
and  first  cut  off  the  kernels  of  the  neck1  from  three  sides. 
All  the  pots  and  cups  he  broke,  except  those  that  held  a 
couple  of  gallons2 ;  of  the  cook  he  made  enquiry  whether  the 
salting  pans  could  be  set  on  the  fire  to  be  made  hot.  All 
the  cellars  in  the  house  he  has  broken  into,  and  has  laid  the 
store-closet3  open.  (At  the  door.)  Watch  him,  servants,  if 
you  please ;  I'll  go  to  meet  the  old  gentleman.  I'll  tell  him 
to  get  ready  some  provisions  for  his  own  self,  if,  indeed,  he 
wishes  himself  to  make  use  of  any.  For  in  this  place,  as  this 
ma-n,  indeed,  is  managing,  either  there's  nothing  already,  or 
very  soon  there  will  be  nothing.  (Exit. 

Scene  II. — Enter  Hegio,  Philopolemus,  Philocrates, 
and  behind  them,  Stalagmus. 
He-g.  To  Jove  and  to  the  Deities  I  return  with  reason  hearty 
thanks,  inasmuch  as  they  have  restored  you  to  your  father, 
and  inasmuch  as  they  have  delivered  me  from  very  many 
afflictions,  which,  while  I  was  obliged  to  be  here  without  you,  I 
was  enduring,  and  inasmuch  as  I  see  that  tlmt  fellow  (pointing 
to  Stalagmus)  is  in  my  power,  and  inasmuch  as  his  word 
(pointing  to  Philocbates)  has  been  found  true  to  me. 

1  The  Tcernels  of  the  neck) — Ver.  920.  The  "  glandia"  were  the  kernels  or 
tonsils  of  the  throat,  situate  just  below  the  root  of  the  tongue.  These  portions 
of  the  dead  pig  seem  to  have  been  much  prized  as  delicate  eating.  Judging  from 
the  present  passage,  the  whole  side  of  the  pig,  including  the  half-head,  was  salted 
and  dried  in  one  piece.  The  first  thing  that  the  Parasite  does,  is  to  cut  the  ker- 
nels from  off  of  three  sides,  which  he  has  relieved  from  the  punishment  of 
hanging. 

2  A  couple  of  gallons) — Ver.  921.  "  Modiales."  Literally,  containing  a  "mo- 
dius,"  which  contained  sixteen  sextarii,  something  more  than  a  peck  of  dry- 
measure  English. 

•  The  store  closet) — Ver.  923.  "  Armarium"  was  so  called  because  it  was 
originally  a  place  for  keeping  arms.  It  afterwards  came  to  signify  a  cupboard  in 
a  wall,  in  which  clothes,  books,  money,  and  other  articles  of  value,  were  placed. 
It  was  generally  in  the  "atrium,"  or  principal  room  of  the  house.  In  this  in- 
stance it  evidently  means  the  store-closet,  distinguished  from  the  larder  and  the 
cellars. 


Sc.  II.  THE  CAPTIVES.  471 

Philop.  Enough  now  have  I  grieved  from  my  very  soul, 
and  enough  with  care  and  tears  have  I  disquieted  myself. 
Enough  now  have  I  heard  of  your  woes,  which  at  the  harbour 
you  told  me  of.     Let  us  now  to  this  business. 

Phil.  What  now,  since  I've  kept  my  word  with  you,  and 
have  caused  him  to  be  restored  back  again  to  freedom  ? 

Heg.  Philocrates,  you  have  acted  so  that  I  can  never  re- 
turn you  thanks  enough,  in  the  degree  that  you  merit  from 
myself  and  my  son. 

Philop.  Nay,  but  you  can,  father,  and  you  will  be  able, 
and  I  shall  be  able ;  and  the  Divinities  will  give  the  means 
for  you  to  return  the  kindness  he  merits  to  one  who  deserves 
so  highly  of  us ;  as,  my  father,  you  are  able  to  do  to  this 
person  who  so  especially  deserves  it. 

Heg.  "What  need  is  there  of  words?  I  have  no  tongue 
with  which  to  deny  whatever  you  may  ask  of  me. 

Phil.  I  ask  of  you  to  restore  to  me  that  servant  whom 
I  left  here  as  a  surety  for  myself;  who  has  always  proved 
more  faithful  to  me  than  to  himself;  in  order  that  for  his 
services  I  may  be  enabled  to  give  him  a  reward. 

Heg.  Because  you  have  acted  thus  kindly,  the  favour 
shall  be  returned,  the  thing  that  you  ask ;  both  that  and 
anything  else  that  you  shall  ask  of  me,  you  shall  obtain.  And 
I  would  not  have  you  blame  me,  because  in  my  anger  I  have 
treated  him  harshly. 

Phil.  What  have  you  done  ?  Heg.  I  confined  him  in 
fetters  at  the  stone-quarries,  when  I  found  out  that  I  had 
been  imposed  upon. 

Phil.  Ah  wretched  me  !  That  for  my  safety  misfortunes 
should  have  happened  to  that  best  of  men. 

Heg.  Now,  on  this  account,  you  need  not  give  me  even 
one  groat  of  silver1  for  him.  Receive  him  of  me  without 
cost  that  he  may  be  free. 

Phil.  On  my  word,  Hegio,  you  act  with  kindness ;  but  I 
entreat  that  you  will  order  this  man  to  be  sent  for. 

1  One  groat  of  diver) — Ver.  952.  "  Libella "  was  the  name  of  tne  smallest 
silver  coin  with  the  Romans,  being  the  tenth  part  of  a  denarius.  Hegio  seems  to 
make  something  of  a  favour  of  this,  and  to  give  his  liberty  to  Tyndarus  in 
consideration  of  his  punishment;  whereas  he  had  originally  agreed  with  Philocrates 
that,  if  Philopolemus  was  liberated,  both  he  and  Tyndarus  shoull  be  set  at 
liberty. 


472  captivi  ;  Act  V. 

He  a.  Certainly.  (To  the  attendants,  who  immediately 
obey.)  Where  are  you?  Go  this  instant,  and  bring  Tyn- 
darus  here.  (To  Philopolemus  and  Philocrates.)  Do 
you  go  in-doors  ;  in  the  meantime,  I  wish  to  enquire  of  this 
statue  for  whipping1,  what  was  done  with  my  younger  son. 
Do  you  go  bathe  in  the  meantime. 

Philop.  Philocrates,  follow  me  this  way  in-doors. 

Phil.  I  follow  you.     (They  go  into  the  house.) 

Scene  III. — Hegio  and  Stalagmus. 

Heg.  Come  you,  step  this  way,  you  worthy  fellow,  my 
line  slave. 

Stal.  What  is  fitting  for  me  to  do,  when  you,  such  a  man 
as  you  are,  are  speaking  false  ?  I  was  never  a  handsome,  or  a 
fine,  or  a  good  person,  or  an  honest  one,  nor  shall  I  ever 
be ;  assuredly,  don't  you  be  forming  any  hopes  that  I  shah 
be  honest. 

Heg.  Tou  easily  understand  pretty  well  in  what  situation 
your  fortunes  are.  If  you  shall  prove  truth-telling,  you'll 
make  your  lot  from  bad  somewhat  better.  Speak  out,  then, 
correctly  and  truthfully ;  but  never  yet  truthfully  or  correctly 
have  you  acted. 

Stal.  Do  you  think  that  I'm  ashamed  to  own  it,  when 
you  affirm  it  ? 

Heg.  But  I'll  make  you  to  be  ashamed ;  for  I'll  cause  you 
to  be  blushes  all  over2. 

Stal.  Heyday — you're  threatening  stripes,  I  suppose,  to 
me,  quite  unaccustomed  to  them !  Away  with  them,  I  beg. 
Tell  me  what  you  bring,  that  you  may  carry  off  hence  what 
you  are  in  want  of. 

Heg.  Yery  fluent  indeed.  But  now  I  wish  this  prating 
to  be  cut  short. 

Stal.  As  you  desire,  so  be  it  done. 

Heg.  (to  the  Audience).  As  a  boy  he  was  very  obedient3 ; 
now  that  suits  him  not.     Let's  to  this  business ;  now  givq 

1  This  statue  for  whipping) — Ver.  956.  The  same  expression  occurs  in  the 
Pseudolus,  1.  911. 

2  Be  blushes  all  over)— Ver.  967.  He  means  that  he  will  have  him  flogged  until 
he  is  red  all  over. 

*  Was  very  obedient) — Ver.  971.  An  indelicate  remark  is  covertly  intended  u> 
this  passage. 


Sc.  IV.  THE  CAPTIVES.  473 

vour  attention,  and  inform  me  upon  what  I  ask.  If  you  tell 
the  truth,  you'll  make  your  fortunes  somewhat  better. 

Stal.  That's  mere  trifling.  Don't  you  think  that  I  know 
what  I'm  deserving  of? 

Heg.  Still,  it  is  in  your  power  to  escape  a  small  portion  of 
it,  if  not  the  whole. 

Stal.  A  small  portion  I  shall  escape,  I  know ;  but  much 
will  befall  me,  and  with  my  deserving  it,  because  I  both  ran 
away,  and  stole  your  son  and  sold  him. 

Heg.  To  what  person?  Stal.  To  Theodoromedes  the 
Polyplusian,  in  Elis,  for  six  minae. 

Heg.  O  ye  immortal  Gods !  He  surely  is  the  father  of  this 
person,  Philocrates. 

Stal.  Why,  I  know  him  better  than  yourself,  and  have 
seen  him  more  times. 

Heg.  Supreme  Jove,  preserve  both  myself  and  my  son  for 
me.  {He  goes  to  the  door,  and  calls  aloud.')  Philocrates,  by 
your  good  Grenius,  I  do  entreat  you,  come  out,  I  want  you. 

Scene  IV. — Enter  ViujjOCua.tes,  from  the  house. 

Phil.  Hegio,  here  am  I ;  if  you  want  anything  of  me, 
command  me. 

Heg.  He  {pointing  to  Stalagmus)  declares  that  he  sold 
my  son  to  your  father,  in  Elis,  for  six  minae. 

Phil,  {to  Stalagmus).  How  long  since  did  that  happen  ? 

Stal.  This  is  the  twentieth  year,  commencing  from  it. 

Phil.  He  is  speaking  falsely.  Stal.  Either  I  or  you  do. 
Why,  your  father  gave  you  the  little  child,  of  four  years  old., 
to  be  your  own  slave. 

Phil.  What  was  his  name  ?  If  you  are  speaking  the 
truth,  tell  me  that,  then. 

Stal.  Paegnium,  he  used  to  be  called ;  afterwards,  you  gave 
him  the  name  of  Tyndarus. 

Phil.  Why  don't  I  recollect  you  ?  Stal.  Because  it's 
the  fashion  for  persons  to  forget,  and  not  to  know  him  whose 
favour  is  esteemed  as  worth  nothing. 

Phil.  Tell  me,  was  he  the  person  whom  you  sold  to  my 
father,  who  was  given  me  for  my  private  service  ? 

Stal.  It  was  his  son  {pointing  to  Hegio). 

Heg.  Is  this  person  now  living?  Stal.  I  received  the 
money  ;  I  cared  nothing  about  the  rest. 


474  captivi  ;  Act  V. 

Heg.  {to  Philocrates).  "What  do  you  say  ? 

Phil.  Why,  this  very  Tyndarus  is  your  son,  according, 
indeed,  to  the  proofs  that  he  mentions.  For,  a  boy  himself, 
together  with  me  from  boyhood  was  he  brought  up,  virtuous!) 
and  modestly,  even  to  manhood. 

Heg.  I  am  both  unhappy  and  happy,  if  you  are  telling  the 
truth.  Unhappy  for  this  reason,  because,  if  he  is  my  son,  I 
have  badly  treated  him.  Alas !  why  have  I  done  both  more 
and  less  than  was  his  due.  That  I  have  ill  treated  him  I  am 
grieved ;  would  that  it  only  could  be  undone.  But  see,  he's 
coming  here,  in  a  guise  not  according  to  his  deserts. 

Scene  V. — Enter  Tyndarus,  in  chains,  led  in  by  the 
Servants. 

Ttnd.  {to  himself).  I  have  seen  many  of  the  torments  which 
take  place  at  Acheron1  often  represented  in  paintings2  ;  but 
most  certainly  there  is  no  Acheron  equal  to  where  I  have  been 
in  the  stone-quarries.  There,  in  fine,  is  the  place  where  real 
lassitude  must  be  undergone  by  the  body  in  laboriousness. 
For  when  I  came  there,  just  as  either  jackdaws,  or  ducks,  or 
quails,  are  given  to  Patrician  children3,  for  them  to  play  with, 
so  in  like  fashion,  when  I  arrived,  a  crow  was  given4  me  with 
which  to  amuse  myself.  But  see,  my  master's  before  the  door  ; 
and  lo !  my  other  master  has  returned  from  Elis. 

Heg.  Hail  to  you,  my  much  wished-for  son. 

Ttnd.  Ha !  how — my  son  ?  Aye,  aye,  I  know  why  you 
pretend  yourself  to  be  the  father,  and  me  to  be  the  son ;  it  is 

1  At  Acheron) — Ver.  1003.  He  here  speaks  of  Acheron,  not  as  one  of  the  rivers 
of  hell,  but  as  the  infernal  regions  themselves. 

2  Represented  inpaintings) — Ver.  1003  Meursius  thinks  that  the  torments  of 
the  infernal  regions  were  frequently  represented  in  pictures,  for  the  purpose  of 
deterring  men  from  evil  actions,  by  keeping  in  view  the  certain  consequences  of 
their  bad  conduct. 

3  To  Patrician  children) — Ver.  1007.  This  passage  is  confirmed  by  what  Pliny 
the  Younger  tells  us  in  his  Second  Epistle.  He  says,  that  on  the  death  of  the 
son  of  Regulus,  his  father,  in  his  grief,  caused  his  favourite  ponies  and  dogs,  with 
his  nightingales,  parrots,  and  jackdaws,  to  be  consumed  on  the  funeral  pile.  It 
would  certainly  have  been  a  greater  compliment  to  his  son's  memory  had  he  pre- 
served them,  and  treated  them  kindly;  but  probably  he  intended  to  despatch  them 
■as  playthings  for  the  child  in  the  other  world. 

4  A  crow  was  given) — Ver.  1009.  "Upupa."  He  puns  upon  the  twofold  mean- 
ing of  this  word,  which  signified  either  "  a  mattock"  or  a  bird  called  a  "  hoopoe," 
according  to  the  context.  To  preserve  the  spirit  of  the  pun,  a  somewhat  different 
translation  has  been  given. 


Sc.  V.  THE  CAPTIYE3.  475 

because,  just  as  parents  do,  you  give  me  the  means  of  seeing 
the  light1. 

Phil.  Hail  to  you,  Tyndarus.  Tynd.  And  to  you,  for 
whose  sake  I  am  enduring  these  miseries. 

Phil.  But  now  I'll  make  you  in  freedom  come  to  wealth. 
For  {pointing  to  Hegio)  this  is  your  father ;  {pointing  to 
Stalagmus)  that  is  the  slave  who  stole  you  away  from  here 
when  four  years  old,  and  sold  you  to  my  lather  for  six  minse. 
He  gave  you,  when  a  little  child,  to  me  a  little  child  for  my 
own  service.  He  {pointing  to  Stalagmus)  has  made  a  con- 
fession, for  we  have  brought  him  back  from  Elis. 

Tynd.  How,  where' s  Hegio' s  son  ?  Phil.  Look  now;  in- 
doors is  your  own  brother. 

Tynd.  How  do  you  say  ?  Have  you  brought  that  captive 
son  of  his  ? 

Phil.  Why,  he's  in-doors,  I  say. 

Tynd.  By  my  faith,  you've  done  both  well  and  happily. 

Phil,  {'pointing  to  Hegio).  Now  this  is  your  own  father; 
{pointing  to  Stalagmus)  this  is  the  thief  who  stole  you 
when  a  little  child. 

Tynd.  But  now,  grown  up,  I  shall  give  him  grown  up  to 
the  executioner  for  his  thieving. 

Phil.  He  deserves  it.  Tynd.  I'  faith,  I'll  deservedly  give 
him  the  reward  that  he  deserves.  {To  Hegio,)  But  tell  me, 
I  pray  you,  are  you  my  father  ? 

Heg.  I  am  he,  my  son.  Tynd.  Now,  at  length,  I  bring  it 
to  my  recollection,  when  I  reconsider  with  myself:  troth,  I  do 
now  at  last  recall  to  memory  that  I  had  heard,  as  though 
through  a  mist,  that  my  father  was  called  Hegio. 

Heg.  I  am  he.  Phil.  I  pray  that  your  son  may  be  light- 
ened of  these  fetters,  and  this  slave  be  loaded  with  them. 

Heg.  I'm  resolved  that  that  shall  be  the  first  thing  at- 
tended to.  Let's  go  in-doors,  that  the  blacksmith  may  be 
sent  for,  in  order  that  I  may  remove  those  fetters  from  you, 
and  give  them  to  him.     {They  go  into  the  house.') 

Stal.  To  one  who  has  no  savings  of  his  own,  you'll  be 
rightly  doing  so2. 

1  Of  seeing  thelight) — Ver.  1013.  He  says,  "  You  can  only  resemble  a  parent 
in  th?  fact  that  you  have  given  me  the  opportunity  of  seeing  the  light  of  day.  by 
taking  me  out  of  the  dark  stone-quarries." 

2  Be  rightly  doing  so — Ver.  1033.  Stalagmus  choose3  to  take  the  word  "  dein. 


476  CAPTIVI  ;   THE  CAPTIVES.  Act  V. 

The  Company  of  Platers  coming  forward. 
Spectators,  this  play  is  founded  on  chaste  manners.  ISo 
wenching  is  there  in  this,  and  no  intriguing,  no  exposure  of  a 
child,  no  cheating  out  of  money  ;  and  no  young  man  in 
love  here  make  his  mistress  free  without  his  father's  know 
ledge.  The  Poets  find  but  few  Comedies1  of  this  kind,  where 
good  men  might  become  better.  Now,  if  it  pleases  you,  and 
if  we  have  pleased  you,  and  have  not  been  tedious,  do  you 
give  this  sign  of  it :  you  who  wish  that  chaste  manners  should 
have  their  reward,  give  us  your  applause. 

"  may  give,"  used  by  Hegio  in  its  literal  sense,  and  surlily  replies,  "  I  have  no- 
thing of  my  own  by  way  of  savings,  '  peculium,'  so  I  am  the  very  person  to  whom 
you  ought  to  give." 

1  Find  but  few  Comedies) — Ver.  1038.  He  here  confesses  that  he  does  not 
pretend  to  frame  the  plots  of  his  Plays  himself,  but  that  lie  goes  to  Greek  sources, 
for  them ;  and  forgetting  that "  beggars  must  not  be  choosers,"  he  complains 
that  so  very  few  of  the  Greek  Comedies  are  founded  upon  chaste  manners.  In- 
deed, this  Play  is  justly  deemed  the  most  pure  and  innocent  of  all  the  Plays  ol 
Plautus;  and  the  Company  are  quite  justified  in  the  commendations  which,  in 
their  Epilogue,  they  bestow  on  it,  as  the  author  has  carried  out  the  promise  which 
he  made  in  the  Prologue  (with  only  four  slight  exceptions),  of  presenting  tu«H 
with  ai:  immaculate  Play, 


ASINARIA ;  OR.  THE  ASS-DEALER, 


IBramatts  ^pcrsonaf. 

Dem^enktus,  an  aged  Athenian. 
Argyrippus,  his  son,  in  love  with  Philenium. 

T  I  Servants  of  Demametus. 

Leonida,    j 

The  Ass-Dealer. 

Diabolus,  an  Athenian  Captain,  the  rival  of  Argyripp-.L. 

A  Parasite,  a  dependant  of  Diabolus. 

A  Boy. 

Artemona,  wife  of  Demsenetus. 
Cle.ereta,  a  procuress. 
Philenium,  daughter  of  Clesereta. 

Scer.e. — Athens,  before  the  house  of  Cle^ereta;  the  house  of  Dknlenetus  is 
little  way  down  another  street,  and  in  view  of  the  Ai  dienoe. 


1  HE  SUBJECT 


A»GYRiprus,  tne  son  of  Demaenetus,  is  violently  in  lore  with  Phileniuin.  a 
young  woman,  who  is  living  with  her  mother,  Clesereta,  a  procuress.  The  latter 
has  made  an  agreement  with  a  Captain,  of  the  name  of  Diabolus,  to  transfer 
Philenium  to  him  for  twenty  minoe,  on  condition,  however,  that  if  Argyriprjus 
shall  first  pay  that  sum,  he  shall  have  her.  Argyrippus,  having  exhausted  all 
his  own  resources,  applies  to  his  father,  Demaenetus,  an  over-indulgent  and 
immoral  old  man,  and  requests  him  to  furnish  him  with  twenty  minae.  Demae- 
netus  is  married  to  Artemona,  a  rich  woman,  and  is  totally  dependant  on  the 
will  of  herself  and  her  favourite  slave,  the  chamberlain  Saurea.  Being  desti- 
tute of  money,  Demaenetus  orders  his  servant,  Libanus,  by  some  means  or 
other  to  cheat  his  mistress  or  the  chamberlain  out  of  that  sum.  Just  then  an 
ass-dealer  arrives,  to  pay  to  Saurea  twenty  minae,  the  price  of  some  asses  which 
he  has  previously  purchased.  Libanus  then  arranges  with  his  fellow-servant, 
Leonida,  that  the  latter  shall  personate  Saurea,  and  so  receive  the  money  from 
the  ass-dealer.  This  is  done,  and  the  money  is  paid  to  Leonida,  in  the  presence  of 
Demaenetus,  who  assures  the  dealer  that  Leonida  really  is  the  person  to  whom 
the  money  is  payable.  This  sum  is  then  given  to  Argyrippus,  but  with  the 
disgraceful  stipulation  that  for  one  day  his  father  shall  enjoy  the  company  J 
Philenium.  This  he  submits  to,  and  the  three  sit  down  to  a  banquet.  The 
Captain  discovers  this,  and  sends  his  Parasite  to  inform  Artemona  of  her 
husband's  conduct.  She  accordingly  accompanies  the  Parasite,  and  discovers 
her  husband  in  the  company  of  Ins  son  and  the  young  woman;  after  soundly 
rating  him,  she  leads  him  off;  while  Argyrippus  remains  in  possession  of  Phi- 
teniuin. 


ASINARIA ; 
OR,  THE  ASS-DEALER 


THE  ACROSTIC  ARGUMENT. 
[Supposed  to  have  been  written  by  Priscian  the  Grammarian.] 

The  son  in  love  (Amanti),  the  old  man,  who  lives  under  (Sub)  his  wife's  control, 
wishes  to  help  him  with  money ;  therefore  (Itaque),  some  money  that  has  been 
brought  inpayment  for  the  asses  for  Saurea  he  orders  to  be  paid  (Numerari) 
to  his  servant  Leonida.  This  is  carried  to  (Ad)  his  mistress,  and  the  son 
yields  her  favours  to  his  father.  His  rival  (Rivinus)  is  furious  on  account 
of  the  woman  thus  taken  from  him :  he  {Is)  tells  all  the  matter,  through  the 
Parasite,  to  the  wife.  The  wife  rushes  (Adcurrit)  to  the  place,  and  drags  her 
husband  from  the  den. 


THE    PKOLOGUE. 

Attend  now,  Spectators,  if  you  please,  forthwith  to  this, 
and  may  this  matter  turn  out  fortunately  for  me  and  for  your- 
selves, and  for  this  company,  and  for  our  employers1,  and  for 
our  managers2.  Now,  crier,  do  you  at  once  make  all  the  people 
give  attentive  ear.  Come,  be  seated  now,  only  be  careful 
that  'tis  not  for  nought.  Now  I  will  tell  you  why  I  have 
come  forward  here,  and  what  my  intention  is,  that  you  may 
know  the  name  of  this  play.  For,  so  far  as  relates  to  the  plot, 
it  really  is  a  short  one.  Now  I  will  tell  you  what  I  said  I  was 
wishful  to  inform  you  upon.   The  name  of  this  play  in  Greek 

1  For  our  employers) — Ver.  3.  By  "  dominis"  he  probably  means  thevEdiles 
by  whom  the  actors  were  engaged  for  the  public  entertainment. 

2  And  for  our  managers) — Ver.  3.  The  "  conductores  "  were  probably  the  leaders 
or  managers  of  the  company,  who  made  the  contract  with  the  iEdiles. 


4>80  ASINARIA  ;  Act  I. 

is  Onagos1 — Demophilus2  composed  it — Marcus3  Plautus 
turned  it  into  Latin.  He  wishes  it  to  be  called  Asinaria4,  if 
by  your  leaves  it  may  be  so.  In  this  play  there  is  both  plea- 
santry  and  fun.  Tis  a  droll  story ;  kindly  lend  me  your 
attention ;  may  Mars,  too,  as,  full  oft  at  other  times  he  has 
done,  so  give  you  now  his  aid. 

Act  I. — Scene  I. 

Enter  DEMiENETUS  and  Libanus,  from  the  house  of  the 
former. 

Lib.  As  you  desire  your  own  only  son  to  survive  your  own 
existence,  prosperous,  and  living  on ;  so  by  your  lengthened 
years,  and  by  that  wife  of  yours  of  whom  you  stand  in  awe, 
do  I  conjure  you,  that  if  this  day  you  have  said  anything 
that's  false  against  myself,  your  wife  may  then  survive  your 
own  existence,  and  that,  she  living,  you,  still  alive,  may  come 
to  utter  destruction5. 

Dem.  By  the  Gods  above6,  as  to  what  you  seek  to  know,  I 
see  that  I  must,  perforce,  speak  out,  whatever  you  question 
me  upon,  being  thus  conjured;  so  determinedly  have  you 
accosted  me,  that  I  really  do  not  dare  otherwise  than  to 
disclose  everything  to  you  making  all  these  enquiries.  Say 
then  at  once  what  it  is  that  you  desire  so  much  to  know  ;  as 
I  myself  shall  know,  so  will  I  let  you  know. 

1  Is  Onagos) — Ver.  10.  "  Onagos."    The  Greek  name  for  an  "  ass-driver." 

-Demophilus) — Ver.  11.  No  particulars  are  known  of  Demophilus  the  Conxc 
Writer.  Some  would  suggest  Diphilus  as  the  reading  here:  he  is  mentioned  in  the 
Adelphi  of  Terence,  and  was  a  Comic  Poet,  contemporary  with  Menander. 

3  Marcus) — Ver.  11.  Marcus  is  the  word  used  here.  It  is  supposed  to  be  a 
corruption  of,  or  an  abbreviation  for,  Maccius  or  M.  Accius,  whichever  was  the 
praenomen  of  the  poet. 

*  Asinaria) — Ver.  12.  "  Asinaria"  seems  to  be  the  nominative  feminine  singular 
or  neuter  plural  of  the  adjective  "  asinarius,"  of  or  "  relating  to  asses." 

5  Come  to  utter  destruction) — Ver.  22.  "  Pestem  obpetas."  Literally,  "  meet 
with  a  plague."  This  expression  he^d  a  somewhat  similar  rank  with  our  un- 
courteous  invitation,  "  Go  to  the  devil." 

6  By  the  Gods  above) — Ver.  23.  "Per  Denm  Fidium."  Literally,  "by  the 
God  Fidius."  This  God  had  a  Temple  in  the  Capitol  at  Rome.  He  was  repre- 
sented as  having  Honor  on  his  right  hand,  and  Truth  on  the  left.  He  is  men- 
tioned by  Ovid,  in  the  Sixth  Book  of  the  Fasti,  as  having  the  names  also  of  Sancus 
and  Semo.  He  was  also  called  Sangus  and  Sanctus,  and  is  generally  supposed  to 
have  been  the  Sabine  Hercules.  Saint  Augustine  says  that  he  was  a  king  of  the 
fttbiaes,  whom  fchey  had  deified. 


Sc.  I.  OR,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  48] 

Lib.  Troth  now,  prithee  answer  me  seriously  what  I  ask 
you  ;  take  care  that  you  tell  me  no  falsehood. 

Dem.  Why,  then,  don't  you  ask  ? 

Lib.  Will  you,  then,  be  sending  me  there,  where  stone 
grinds  stone1  ? 

Dem.  What  place  is  that  ?  Or  where  in  the  world  is  that 
place  ? 

Lib.  Where  worthless  men  are  weeping,  who  breakfast 
upon  pearled  barley2. 

Dem.  What  that  place  is,  or  where  it  is,  I  cannot  under- 
stand, where  worthless  men  are  weeping,  who  breakfast  upon 
pearled  barley. 

Lib.  Why,  in  the  islands  of  club-land  and  rattle-chain3, 
where  dead  oxen  attack  living  men. 

Dem.  I'  faith,  I  now  understand,  Libanus,  what  place  it  is ; 
that  perhaps  you  mean,  where  the  pearled  barley  is  prepared- 

Lib.  O  dear  :  I'm  not  speaking  of  that,  i'  faith,  nor  do 
I  wish  to  speak  of  it.  Troth  now,  prithee,  do  spit  out4  the 
words  that  you  have  spoken. 

Dem.  Be  it  so;  you  shall  be  indulge^.  (.He  coughs  and  spits.) 

Lib.  Come,  come — hawk  away.  Dem.  What,  still  more  ? 
(Spits  on.) 

Lib.  Troth  now  ;  prithee,  do  go  on — still  more. 

Dem.  What — from  the  very  bottom  of  my  throat  ?  (Spits.) 

Lib.  Even  more  still.     Dem.  Why,  how  long  ?    (Spits.) 

Lib.  I  want  you,  even  to  the  death 

Dem.  Take  you  care  of  a  woful  mishap,  if  you  please. 

Lib.  Of  your  wife,  I  mean,  not  of  yourself. 

Dem.  For  that  speech,  I  give  you  leave  to  be  free  from 
apprehension. 

Stone  grinds  stone) — Ver.  31.  He  alludes  to  the  "  pistrinum,"  or  hand-mill, 
where  refractory  slaves  were  often  sent  and  set  to  grind  the  corn,  which  was  a 
very  laborious  employment. 

2  Pearled  barley') — Ver.  33.  "Polenta."  This  was  barley-meal,  dried  before 
the  tire,  soaked  in  water  for  a  night,  and  then  baked. 

3  Club-land  and  rattle-chain) — Ver.  36.  "  Fustitudinas,  ferricrepinas."  These 
are  words  coined  by  the  author  for  the  occasion.  In  the  next  line  he  alludes  to 
flogging  with  thongs  of  hide. 

*  Do  spit  out)— Ver.  41.    The  ancients  signified  extreme  disgust  by  spitting. 
Libanus  is  so  frightened  at  the  bare  "  idea  "  of  the  "  pistrinum,"  or  "  mill,"  that 
he  deems  the  attempt  to  mention  it  as  of  bad  omen,  and  begs  that  hie  master  will 
spit  away  from  him  the  very  notion  of  it. 
2i 


482  ASINAltIA  ;  Act  I. 

Lib.  May  the  Gods  grant  you  whatever  you  desire. 

Dem.  In  return,  give  me  your  attention.  Why  should  I 
ask  this  of  you  ?  Or  why  should  I  threaten  you,  because  you 
have  not  made  me  acquainted  with  it  ?  Or  why,  in  fine,  should 
I  censure  my  son  as  other  fathers  do  ? 

Lib.  "What  new  affair  is  this  ?  (Aside.)  I  wonder  much 
what  it  is,  and  I'm  in  dread  what  the  upshot  of  it  may  be. 

Dem.  In  fact,  I'm  now  aware  that  my  son's  in  love  with 
that  Courtesan  Philenium,  that  lives  close  by.  Is  not  this  as 
I  say,  Libanus  ? 

Lib.  You  are  upon  the  right  track ;  such  is  the  fact. 
But  a  dreadful  malady  has  overtaken  him. 

Dem.  What  is  the  malady  ?  Lib.  Why,  that  his  presents 
don't  equal  his  promises. 

Dem.  Are  you,  then,  one  who  assists  my  son  in  his 
amours  ? 

Lie.  I  really  am,  and  our  Leonida  is  another. 

Dem.  I'  faith,  you  do  kindly,  and  you  gain  thanks  from  me. 
But  this  wife  of  mine,  Libanus,  don't  you  know  what  sort  of 
a  person  she  is  ? 

Lib.  You  are  the  first  to  experience  it,  but  we  give  a  guess 
beforehand. 

Dem.  I  confess  that  she  is  troublesome,  and  not  to  be 
pleased. 

Lib.  You  say  that  later  than  I  believed  you  in  it. 

Dem.  All  parents,  Libanus,  who  listen  to  me,  will  show 
indulgence  to  their  children,  inasmuch  as  they  will  find  their 
sons  more  kindly  disposed  and  more  affectionate  ;  and  that 
do  I  desire  to  do  myself.  I  wish  to  be  loved  by  mine ;  I  wish 
myself  to  be  like  my  father,  who,  for  my  sake,  himself  in  the 
disguise  of  a  ship-master,  carried  off  from  a  procurer  a 
female  with  whom  I  was  in  love ;  nor  was  he  ashamed,  at 
that  time  of  life,  to  devise  stratagems,  and  to  purchase  with 
good  turns  me,  his  son,  for  himself.  These  ways  of  my 
father  have  I  resolved  to  imitate.  Tor  to-day  my  son  Argy- 
rippus  has  entreated  me  to  give  him  a  supply  of  money  for 
his  amours ;  and  I  very  much  wish  in  that  to  oblige  my  son. 
I  wish  to  forward  his  amours ;  I  wish  him  to  be  fond  of  myself, 
his  father.  Although  his  mother  keeps  him  strictly,  and  with 
a  tight  rein,  as  fathers  have  been  in  the  habit  of  doing,  all  that 
I  dismiss.   Especially  as  he  has  deemed  me  deserving,  for  him 


Sc.  I.  Olt,  T1IE  ASS-DEALEB.  483 

to  entrust  it  to  ra.e,  I  ought  to  pay  all  due  regard  to  his  feel- 
ings. Inasmuch  as  he  has  applied  to  me,  as  it  is  right  that 
a  respectful  son  should  do,  I  wish  him  to  have  some  money 
for  him  to  give  to  his  mistress  ***** 

Lib.  You  are  desiring  that  which  I  find  you  are  de- 
siring to  no  purpose.  Tour  wife  brought  her  servant 
Saurea  with  her  on  her  marriage1,  who  has  more  in  his  con- 
trol than  you  have. 

Dem.  I  received  money  with  her,  and  for  the  portion  I  sold 
my  authority.  Now  I'll  compress  into  a  few  words  what  1 
want  of  you ;  my  son  is  now  in  need  of  twenty  silver  mines : 
do  you  manage  that  it  may  be  forthwith  found  for  him. 

Lib.  From  what  place  in  the  world  ?  Dem.  Cheat  me  of 
them. 

Lib.  You  are  talking  downright  nonsense.  You  are  bid- 
ding me  take  the  clothes  from  off  a  naked  man.  I,  cheat  you  ? 

come  now,  fly  you  without  wings,  please.  What,  am  I  to 
cheat  you  who  have  nothing  in  your  power  for  your  own  self? 
Unless  you  have  first  cheated  your  wife  out  of  something. 

Dem.  Impose  upon  or  rob  myself  in  any  way  you  can,  my 
wife  in  any  way,  my  servant  Saurea  in  any  way.  I  promise 
you  that  it  shall  not  prove  to  your  detriment,  if  you  effect  i\ 
to-day. 

Lib.  On  the  same  principle  you  might  bid  me  to  fish  in  the 
air,  and  to  hunt  with  a  javelin  in  the  midst  of  the  sea. 

Dem.  Take  Leonida  as  your  coadjutor3  ;  devise  somep?«« 
or  other,  think  of  some  expedient :  bring  it  about  that  my  son 
this  day  gets  some  money  to  give  his  mistress. 

Lib.  What  say  you,  Demsenetus  *  *  * 

*  if  the  foe  should  intercept  me,  will  you 

nsom  me  ? 

Dem.  I  will  ransom  you.     Lib.  Then  do  you  attend  to 

mething  else,  whatever  you  please. 

1  With  her  on  her  marriage) — Ver.  87.  "  Dotalem."    The  husband  was  master 

'  the  other  slaves  in  the  household  ;  but  the  "  dotalis  "  was  under  the  sole  con- 

jrol  of  the  mistress.     Aulus  Gellius,  in  his  Seventeenth  Book,  calls  him  "  servus 

epticius,"  probably,  either  because  it  was  his  business  to  receive  whatever  wan 

to  his  mistress,  or  from  his  being  received  into  the  house  in  preference  to  all 

ler  slaves. 

s  Your  coadjutor) — Ver.  103.  "  Optio  "  was  originally  the  name  of  the  lieu- 
int,  or  adjutant,  who  was  chosen  by  the  centurion  in  the  Roman  armies*  t? 
sist  him  in  the  discharge  of  his  duties. 

2i2 


484  ASINABIA;  Act  I. 

Dem.  I'm  off  to  the  Forum,  uiless  you  wish  for  anything. 
.    Lib.  Be  off — why  are  you  not  walking1  ? 

Dem.  And  do  you  hear,  too ?     Lib.  "Well  now. 

Dem.  If  I  want  you  for  anything,  where  will  you  be  ? 

Lib.  Wherever  it  shall  be  agreable  to  my  feelings.  Really, 
there's  not  a  person  that  I  shall  stand  in  dread  of  from  this 
time  forward,  for  fear  he  might  be  able  to  do  me  an  injury, 
since  in  your  discourse  you  have  disclosed  to  me  all  your 
sentiments.  Why,  your  own  self  even  I  don't  stand  much  in 
awe  of,  if  I  carry  this  out.  I'll  go  where  I  intended,  and 
there  I'll  commune  upon  my  plans. 

Dem.  Do  you  hear  me  ?  I  shall  be  with  Archibulus,  the 
banker. 

Lib.  In  the  Forum,  you  mean  ?  Dem.  There,  if  there 
shall  be  any  occasion  for  me2. 

Lib.  I'll  remember  it.  (Exit. 

Dem.  (to  himself)  Not  any  servant  can  there  be  more 
artful  than  this  fellow,  nor  yet  more  crafty,  nor  one  that  it 
is  more  difficult  for  you  to  be  on  your  guard  against.  If  you 
want  anything  well  managed,  entrust  it  to  this  same  fellow ; 
he'd  rather  he  should  die  in  wretchedness,  than  not  have  that 
quite  completed  which  he  has  promised.  For  I  know  that 
this  money  is  as  surely  forthcoming  for  my  son,  as  that  I  look 
upon  this  same  walking-stick.  But  why  am  I  delaying  to  go 
to  the  Forum  where  I  had  intended  *  * 

*  *  *  (Exit. 

Scene  II. — Enter  AKGYRiPPUSj/hw*  the  house  of  Clejeeeta, 
addressing  her  -within. 
Arg.  Is't  thus  it  is, — me  to  be  shut  out  of  doors  ?  Is  this 
the  reward  that's  given  to  me  who  deserve  so  highly  of  you? 
To  him  who  deserves  well  you  are  unkind,  to  him  who  deserves 
ril  you  are  indulgent.     But  to  your  own  misfortune,  for  now 

1  Why  are  you  not  walking') — Ver.  110.  "  Etiarnne  ambulas."  Thornton,  quoting 
from  Limiers,  says,  in  reference  to  this  passage,  "  This  is  a  banter  of  the  slave's, 
who  is  rallying  his  master  on  the  pain  he  is  in,  in  walking  supported  by  his  crutch- 
stick.  There  is  a  distinction  made  between  '  ire,'  which,  the  grammarians  tell  us. 
is  used  to  express  walking  fast,  and  '  ambulare,'  'to  walk  slowly,'  or  'step  by 
step.'  " 

•  Any  occasion  for  me)— Ver.  119.  "Si  quid  opus  fuerit."  This  expression, 
equivalent  to  ours,  "  if  I  am  wanted,"  was  made  use  of  by  the  Romans  when  they 
uai  the  intention  of  engaging  in  some  occupation  of  importance. 


Sc.  IT.  OR,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  485 

from  this  spot  will  I  go  to  the  Triumvirs1,  and  there  I'll 
take  care  3  our  names  shall  be.  I'll  punish  capitally  your- 
self and  your  daughter,  you  enticers,  pests,  and  destruction 
of  young  men !  For,  compared  with  you,  the  sea  is  not  the 
sea ;  you  are  a  most  dangerous  sea.  For  on  the  sea  did  I 
find  it,  here  have  I  been  cleaned  out  of  my  wealth.  What 
I  have  given,  and  what  kindnesses  I  have  done,  I  find  them 
all  valueless  for  good,  and  thrown  away.  But  from  hence- 
forth, whatever  harm  I  shall  be  able  to  do  you,  I  will  do 
it,  and  do  it  at  your  deserts.  I'  faith,  I'll  reduce  you  to  the 
verge  of  poverty,  that  state  from  which  you  have  risen.  By 
my  troth,  I'll  make  you  to  know  what  you  now  are,  and  what 
you  once  were ;  what  you  were  before  I  visited  that  daughter 
of  yours,  and,  in  my  passion,  bestowed  upon  her  my  affec- 
tion ;  on  coarse  bread2  you  were  enjoying  your  life,  in  rags, 
and  in  want.  And  if  these  you  had,  especial  thanks  did 
you  return  to  all  the  Divinities.  Now,  bad  woman,  you  the 
same  person,  when  'tis  better  with  you,  don't  know  me 
through  whose  means  it  is  so.  From  a  wild  beast,  I'll  make 
you  tame  through  hunger,  only  trust  me  for  that3.  But  I 
nave  no  reason  to  blame  your  daughter  herself;  she  does  not 
deserve  it  in  the  least.  She  acts  by  your  command ;  she  obeys 
your  bidding ;  you  are  her  mother,  you  too  her  mistress.  I'll 
revenge  myself  on  you  ;  I'll  ruin  you ;  as  you  are  deserving, 
and  as  you  merit  at  my  hands.  But  look  now,  the  hag,  how 
she  really  doesn't  think  me  worthy  for  her  to  come  to  and 
address  and  deprecate  my  resentment.  But,  see,  the 
enticer's  coming  out  at  last,  I  think.  Here,  before  the 
door,  I'll  address  her  in  my  own  fashion,  as  I  please,  since 
I'm  not  allowed  to  do  so  within. 

1  To  the  Triumvirs) — Ver.  134.  The  "  Tresviri,"  or  "  Triumviri,"  were  in  duty 
bound  to  receive  informations  relative  to  public  morals,  and  were  empowered 
to  inflict  summary  punishment  on  persons  of  the  rank  and  occupation  of 
Clesereta.  They  have  been  more  fully  referred  to  in  a  previous  Note.  It  will  not 
be  forgotten  that,  though  the  scene  is  in  Athens,  Plautus  is  making  reference  to 
Roman  customs. 

2  On  coarse  bread) — Ver.  145.  "  Sordido — pane."  According  to  the  Com- 
mentators, this  means  brown  bread  with  the  bran  in  it.  Terence,  in  his  Eu- 
nuchus,  calls  it  "  panis  ater,"  "  black  bread  "    Juvenal  calls  it  "  dcg's  bread." 

3  Trust  me  for  that)— Ver.  148.  "  Me  spscta  modo."  Literally,  "  only  look  to 
me." 


48  G  \  six  aria  ;  Act  L 

Scene  III. — Enter  CLEiERETA,yrow  her  house. 
■  Cle.  If  any  purchaser  should  come,  lie  could  not  carry 
him  away  from  me  each  single  word  of  those  for  gold  Phi- 
lippean  pieces.  What  you  say  wrongfully  against  us  is 
good  gold  and  silver.  Your  heart  is  locked  up  here  with 
us,  at  the  helm  of  Cupid.  With  oars  and  with  sails  make 
haste  and  fly  as  fast  as  you  can;  the  further  you  betake 
yourself  to  sea,  the  more  the  tide  will  bring  you  back  to 
harbour. 

Arg.  I'  faith,  I'll  be  depriving  this  custom-house  officer1  of 
his  dues.  From  henceforth  I'll  persist  in  treating  you  as  you 
have  deserved  of  me  and  mine,  since  you  have  treated  me 
not  as  I  deserve,  in  excluding  me  from  your  house. 

Cle.  I  know  that  that  is  rather  said  with  the  tongue, 
than  that  it  will  happen  in  deed. 

Arg.  I  alone  have  brought  you  from  obscurity  and  from 
want ;  if  I  alone  patronize  you,  you  can  never  return  suffi- 
cient thanks. 

Cle.  Do  you  still  be  the  only  one  to  patronize  me,  if  you 
alone  will  always  give  me  what  I  ask.  Do  you  always  keep 
what  has  been  promised  you,  on  this  condition,  that  you 
surpass  others  in  your  presents. 

Arg.  What  limit  is  there  to  be  to  giving  ?  For  really  you 
can  never  be  satisfied ;  the  moment  that  you've  received 
something,  not  very  long  after,  you  are  devising  something 
for  you  to  be  asking  for. 

Cle.  What  limit  is  there  to  be  to  your  enjoying  yourself, 
and  to  your  indulging  your  amour  ?  Can  you  never  be  satis- 
fied ?  The  moment  that  you  have  sent  her  home,  that 
instant,  you  are  directly  asking  me  to  send  her  back  to  you. 

Arg.  In  fact,  I  have  given  whatever  you  have  demanded 
of  me. 

Cle.  And  I  have  sent  the  damsel  to  you.  A  requital  has 
been  given,  like  for  like  ;  a  return  for  the  money. 

1  This  custom-house  officer) — Ver.  163.  "  Istum  portitorem  privabo  portitorio." 
Cleaereta  has  just  mentioned  "  portus,"  "  the  harbour,"  meaning  her  own  house, 
to  which,  despite  of  himself,  Argyrippus  will,  by  his  own  passion,  be  brought  back 
at  last.  He  takes'  up  the  metaphor,  and  says  that  she,  the  landing-waiter  (por- 
titor),  or  custom-house  officer,  shall  not,  however,  get  her  dues ;  meaaing,  that  b« 
IB  determined  not  to  let  her  bavo  any  more  of  his  money. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  ASS-DEALElt.  487 

Alia.  You  treat  me  badly.  Cle.  ^V  by  do  you  blame  me  if 
I  do  my  duty  ?  For  nowbere  is  it  either  feigned  in  story  or 
represented  in  pictures  or  written  in  poems,  where  a  nro- 
curess,  who  wishes  to  thrive,  treats  any  lover  well. 

Aug.  Still,  'twere  right  for  you  to  show  favour  to  me  at 
least,  that  I  might  last  the  longer  for  you. 

Cle.  Don't  you  know,  the  woman  that  shows  favour  to  a 
lover,  that  same  woman  shows  little  favour  to  herself?  Just 
like  a  fish,  so  is  a  lover  to  a  procuress  ;  he's  good  for  nothing  if 
he  isn't  fresh.  Then  it  has  juice,  then  it  has  sweetness  ;  in  any 
fashion  you  like  you  may  season  it,  either  stewed  or  roasted ; 
in  any  way  you  will,  you  may  turn  it..  So  the  lover ;  lie's 
ready  to  give,  he  longs  for  something  to  be  asked  of  him,  for 
there  it's  taken  from  a  full  stock,  nor  does  he  know  what 
he's  giving,  or  what  mischief  he's  doing.  Of  this  matter 
does  the  new  lover  think ;  he  wishes  himself  to  please  his 
mistress,  he  wishes  to  please  me,  he  wishes  to  please  her 
lady's  maid1,  he  wishes  to  please  the  men-servants,  he  wishes 
to  please  the  maid-servants  as  well,  and  even  my  dog  does  he 
caress,  that  when  it  sees  him,  it  may  be  delighted.  I  tell 
the  truth ;  it  shows  cleverness  for  every  person  to  be  fair- 
dealing  for  his  own  advantage. 

Aeg.  I've  thoroughly  learned  that  this  is  true,  to  my  own 
great  misfortune. 

Cle.  I'  faith,  if  you  now  had  anything  to  give,  you'd  be 
uttering  different  remarks ;  now,  since  you've  got  nothing, 
you  expect  to  be  having  her  by  means  of  harsh  language. 

Aeg.  'Tis  not  my  way.  Cle.  Nor  yet  mine,  indeed,  i' 
faith,  to  be  sending  her  to  you  for  nothing ;  but  this  shall 
be  done  out  of  regard  for  your  youthful  age  and  your  own 
sake,  since  you  have  rather  been  the  cause  of  profit  to  us 
than  of  reputation  to  yourself.  If  two  talents  of  silver2  are 
paid  me  down,  reckoned  in  my  hand,  this  night  will  I  grant 
you  for  nothing,  as  a  present,  by  reason  of  my  respect  for  you. 

1  Her  lady's  maid) — Ver.  187.  "  Pedissequa"  seems  to  have  been  the  name  of 
the  female-servant,  whose  duty  it  was  to  be  constantly  in  attendance  on  her 
mistress ;  and  who  probably  followed  her  in  the  street,  whence  her  name. 

2  Two  talents  of  silver) — Ver.  197.  The  Attic  silver,  or  Solonian  talent,  con- 
tained 73-100th  parts  of  the  old  Attic  talent.  It  will  be  observed  that  tire  hag 
is  here  adding  just  one  hundred  "  minse  "  to  her  demand;  but  it  is  clear  that 
she  is  only  doing  so  to  provoke  Argyrippus,  and  to  amuse  herself  with  his 
distress. 


i88  ASINARIA  ;  Act  I. 

Arg.  "What  if  I  haven't  it  ?  Cle.  I'll  belie Fe  that  you 
haven't  it — still,  she  shall  go  to  another. 

Arg.  "Where  is  that  which  I  have  given  you  already  ? 

Cle.  Spent ;  for  if  it  was  remaining  to  me,  the  damsel 
should  be  sent  to  you,  and  I  should  never  ask  for  anything. 
Daylight,  water,  the  sun,  the  moon,  the  night,  these  things  I 
purchase  not  with  money ;  the  rest,  whatever  we  wish  to 
enjoy,  we  purchase  on  Grecian  trust1.  When  we  ask  bread 
of  the  baker,  wine  from  the  wineshop — if  they  receive  the 
money,  they  give  their  wares  ;  the  same  principle  do  I  go  upon. 
My  hands  always  have  eyes  in  them ;  they  believe  what  they 
see.  There's  an  old  saying,  "trusting  is  good  for  nought2  ;" 
you  know  whose  it  is — I  say  no  more. 

Arg.  Now  I'm  clean  stripped,  you  tell  me  another  tale  ;  a 
very  different  one,  I  say,  you  give  me  now  from  formerly, 
.when  I  was  making  presents ;  a  different  one  from  formerly, 
when  with  kindness  and  good  words  you  used  to  entice  me  to 
your  house.  Then  did  your  house  even  smile  upon  me,  when  I 
used  to  come  to  you.  You  used  to  say  that  I  alone  of  all  loved 
you  and  her.  When  I  had  given  anything,  just  like  the  young 
ones  of  a  pigeon  were  you  both  upon  my  lips ;  and  all  your 
likings  were  according  to  my  own  liking.  You  always  kept 
close  to  me  ;  whatever  I  requested,  whatever  I  wished,  you 
used  to  do  ;  what  I  didn't  wish  and  forbade,  that,  with  care- 
fulness, you  used  to  avoid,  nor  did  you  first  venture  to  attempt 
to  do  it.  Now,  you  jades,  you  don't  much  care  either  what  I 
do  wish  or  what  I  don't  wish. 

Cle.  Don't  you  know  ?     This  calling  of  ours  is  very  like 

1  On  Grecian  trust) — Ver.  203.  The  Greeks  were  so  noted  for  their  want  of 
punctuality  in  their  payments,  that  it  became  the  general  rule  among  them  not 
to  give  credit.  Consequently,  "  Grecian  trust "  became  a  proverbial  saying  for 
"  ready  money." 

2  Trusting  is  good  for  nought) — Ver.  '207.  "  Nihili  cocio  est."  The  meaning 
of  this  passage  is  obvious,  that  "  trusting  is  bad  ;"'  but  the  signification  of  the  word 
"cccio"  has  puzzled  the  Commentators.  Gronovius,  with  some  probibility, 
suggests  that  it  is  the  old  form  of  the  word  "  cautio;"  meaning  "one  who  goes 
upon  trust."  It  may  either  mean  that,  or  "  trusting,"  or  u  giving  tick,"  as  we 
familiarly  term  it ;  indeed,  it  is  not  improbable  that  the  word  "  cocio"  may  have 
been  a  cant  name  for  M  credit."  From  the  remark  of  Cleaereta,  we  may  conclude 
that  this  was  a  proverbial  expression,  which  had  originated  in  being  used  by  somo 
famous  person,  or  in  some  celebrated  play  of  that  day,  all  remembrance  of  which 
h&s  now  perished. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  489 

that  of  the  fowler.  The  fowler,  when  lie  has  prepared  the  spot, 
sprinkles  the  food  about.  The  birds  are  accustomed  to  the 
spot.  'Tis  necessary  for  him1  to  make  an  outlay,  who  seeks 
for  gain.  They  eat  often ;  if  they  are  caught  once,  they  re- 
imburse the  fowler.  So  in  like  manner  here  with  us.  Our 
house  is  the  spot,  I  am  the  fowler,  the  courtesan  is  the 
food,  the  couch  is  the  decoy,  the  lovers  the  birds.  By  kindly 
welcoming  them,  by  addressing  them  courteously,  by  dallying, 
and  by  chattering  over  the  wine,  and  amusing  conversation^ 
they  are  won.  If  one  of  them  has  touched  her  bosom,  that  is 
not  without  advantage  to  the  fowler.  If  he  has  taken  a  kiss, 
him  you  may  take  without  a  net.  That  you  should  be 
forgetful  of  these  things,  you  who  have  been  schooled  so 
long! 

Arg.  That's  your  own  fault,  in  turning  away  from  you  a 
scholar  half  instructed. 

Cle.  Come  back  again  without  hesitation,  if  you've  got 
the  pay ;  for  the  present,  be  off.     (Pretends  to  go.) 

Arg.  Stay,  stay;  don't  you  hear  me?  Say  what  you 
think  it  fair  that  I  should  give  you  for  her,  that  for  this  year 


•  [J  she  may  be  with  no  one  else. 
Cle.  What,  vou  ?   Ti 


Cle.  What,  you  ?  Twenty  minaB.  And  on  this  condition  : 
if  any  other  person  shall  bring  them  first  to  me,  to  you — 
good-bye. 

Arg.  But  I There's  still  something  that  I  wish  to 

say  to  you  before  you  go. 

Cle.  Say  what  you  please.  Arg.  I'm  not  entirely  ruined 
yet ;  there's  still  something  more  left  for  me  to  come  to 
ruin.  I  have  wherewithal  to  give  you  what  you  ask ;  but  I'll 
give  it  you  on  my  own  terms,  that  you  may  be  enabled  to 
understand  that  throughout  all  this  year  she  is  to  be  at  my 
service,  and  that,  in  the  meantime,  she  is  to  admit  no  other 
I  man  whatever  to  her,  besides  myself. 

Cle.  Why,  if  you  choose,  the  male-servants  that  are  at 
home,  I'll  make  eunuchs  of.  In  fine,  take  you  care  and 
bring  articles  of  agreement  that  we  will  be  as  you  wish. 
Impose  conditions  upon  us  as  you  wish,  and  as  you  shall 
choose.     Do  you  only  bring  the  money  with  you,  I'll  readily 

1  'Tis  necessary  for  him) — Ver.  221.  u  Necesse  est  facere  sumptum,  qui  quaerit 
lucrum."  Louis  the  Twelfth,  the  King  of  France,  was  always  quoting  this  pro- 
verb ;  but  it  has  beeu  remarked,  that  he  failed  to  make  it  his  rule  of  conduct. 


A90  AsnvARiA ;  Act  IL 

put  up  with  the  rest.  The  doors  of  procurers  are  very  like 
those  of  a  custom-hoi.se  officer ;  if  you  bring  anything,  then 
they  are  opened ;  if  there  is  nothing  for  you  to  give,  then 
the  doors  are  not  opened.     {Goes  into  her  house.*) 

Aug.  (to  himself).  I'm  undone,  if  I  don't  procure  these 
twenty  minae.  And  really,  unless  I  make  away  with  this 
much  money,  I  must  come  to  destruction.  Now  I'll  go  to 
the  Forum,  and  make  trial  with  my  resources,  with  all  my 
endeavours.  I'll  beg,  I'll  earnestly  entreat  each  friend  as  I 
see  him ;  both  good  and  bad  am  I  determined  to  apply  to, 
and  make  trial  of.  But  if  I  can't  borrow  it,  I'll  take  it  up 
at  interest,  I'm  resolved.  (Goes  into  the  home  of  De« 
m^netus.) 

Act  II. — Scene  I. 

Enter  Lib  anus,  from  the  house  o/Dem^netus. 

Lib.  Upon  my  faith,  Libanus,  it  really  were  better  for  you 
now  to  be  waking,  and  to  be  devising  some  plan  for  pro- 
curing the  money.  A  long  time  has  now  elapsed,  since  you 
parted  with  your  master  and  went  to  the  Forum.  For  that 
end  that  you  might  devise  some  plan  for  procuring  the 
money,  there  till  this  time  of  day  have  you  been  sleeping  at 
your  ease.  "Why  don't  you  away  with  all  slothfulness  from 
yourself,  and  remove  all  sluggishness,  and  betake  yourself 
again  to  your  former  dexterous  ingenuity.  Preserve  your 
master ;  take  you  care,  too,  how  you  do  the  same  that  other 
servants  are  wont,  who  employ  a  clever  ingenuity  in  cheating 
their  master  ?  Whence  shall  I  get  it  ?  Whom  shall  I  diddle 
out  of  it  ?  Whither  shall  1  steer  this  fly-boat  ?  'Tis  settled, 
'tis  confirmed  by  auspices  ;  on  each  side  do  the  birds  give  good 
omens.  The  woodpecker  and  the  crow  are  on  my  right,  the 
raven,  as  well,  upon  my  left.  They  are  persuading  me  to  it : 
i'  faith,  I'm  resolved  to  follow  your  advice.  (Starts  and 
listens.)  But  what  means  this,  that  the  woodpecker  is  tapping 
the  elm-tree  ?  That's  not  for  nothing.  Troth,  for  certain, 
so  far  as  I  can  gather  omens  from  augury,  the  rods  are  in 
readiness  for  my  own  back,  or  for  Saurea  the  chamberlain. 
But  what  means  this  that  Leonida  is  running  this  way  out  of 
breath  ?  I  fear  that  this  bodes  ill  for  my  trumped-up  schemes. 
(Stands  apart.) 


3C.  II.  OK,  THE  AS3-DEALER.  4SK 

Scene  II. — Enter  Leonida,  running. 

Leon,  (to  himself).  Where  now  shall  I  find  Libanus,  or 
my  master's  son,  that  I  may  make  them  more  mirthful  than 
is  Mirth  herself1  ?  Great  booty  and  a  triumph  do  I  bring 
them  on  my  arrival.  Inasmuch  as  together  with  me  they 
drink,  together  with  me  they  are  wont  to  wench,  why,  this 
booty  that  I've  got,  together  with  them  will  I  share  it. 

Lib.  (apart).  This  fellow  has  been  robbing  a  house,  if  he 
has  been  acting  after  his  usual  manner.  "Woe  to  the  person 
that  has  so  carelessly  kept  the  door ! 

Leon,  (to  himself).  I  could  be  ready  to  be  a  slave  for  an 
age,  if  I  could  only  meet  with  Libanus. 

Lib.  (apart).  I'  faith,  with  my  assistance,  indeed,  you 
shall  never  be  free  a  bit  the  sooner. 

Leon,  (to  himself).  I'd  give  two  hundred  teeming  lashed 
on  my  back  as  well. 

Lib.  (apart).  He's  giving  away  all  his  substance,  for  he 
carries  his  treasures  on  his  back3. 

Leon,  (to  himself).  But  if  time  should  intervene  upon 
this  opportunity,  never,  upon  my  faith,  will  he  hereafter  obtain 
it  again,  even  with  white  horses4.  He'll  be  deserting  his 
master  in  the  siege ;  he'll  be  increasing  the  courage  of  the  foe. 
But  if  with  me  he  is  desirous  to  seize  hold  upon  this  oppor- 
tunity which  has  presented  itself,  very  great  bounties  brimful 
of  joyousness,  will  he,  together  with  myself,  be  producing  for 
his  masters,  both  for  the  son  and  the  father.  So  that,  for 
life,  they  will  be  indebted  to  us  both,  bound  by  our  services. 

Lib.  (apart).  He's  talking  of  persons  being  bound5, 1  don't 

1  Mirth  herself) — Ver.  271.  "Lubentia,"  or  "Venus  lubentina,"  was  the 
Goddess  of  pleasure,  mirth,  and  delight. 

2  Teeming  lashes) — Ver.  280.  "Plagas  prsegnantes."  Literally,  "pregnant 
stripes" — "  blows  that  generate  other  blows." 

3  Treasures  on  his  back) — Ver.  281.  "  Talk  of  giving,'' — he  says,  "  stripes  on 
his  back  are  all  that  he  has  to  give." 

4  With  white  horses) — Ver.  283.  White  horses  were  most  esteemed  by  the 
ancients,  and  were  supposed  to  excel  others  in  swiftness. 

5  Talking  of  persons  being  bound) — Ver.  289.  He  catches,  or  pretends  to  catch, 
the  two  last  syllables  of  the  word  "  devincti,"  "  obligated,"  and  then  says  that. 
Leonida  is  speaking  of  people  being  "  vincti,"  "  chained  "  or  "  bound."  This  ho 
deems,  or  pretends  to  deem,  to  be  ominous  of  ill. 


492  asikaeia  ;  Act  II 

know  who.  I  don't  like  it ;  I  fear  for  us  in  common,  lest  he 
may  have  been  cheating  in  some  cheateiy. 

Leon,  (to  himself).  I'm  utterly  undone,  unless  I  find  Li- 
banus  at  once,  wherever  in  the  world  he  is. 

Lib.  (apart).  This  fellow's  looking  out  for  an  accomplice, 
to  unite  with  himself  in  a  bad  design.  I  don't  like  it:  'tis 
a  portentous  sign  that  instant,  when  a  person  trembles  that 
sweats1. 

Leon,  (to  himself).  But  why,  as  I  hasten,  do  I  loiter  here 
with  my  feet,  and  make  myself  so  bounteous  with  my  tongue  ? 
Why  don't  I  bid  it  be  quiet,  that  in  its  talkativeness  is 
wearing  out  the  day  ? 

Lib.  (apart).  Upon  my  faith,  an  unfortunate  man,  to 
check  his  patroness ;  for  if  he  has  done  anything  roguishly, 
his  tongue  perjures  itself  in  his  behalf. 

Leon,  (to  himself).  I'll  make  haste,  lest  I  should  be  pro- 
viding a  safe  keeping  for  my  spoil  too  late. 

Lib.  (apart).  What  spoil  is  this?  I'll  go  meet  him, 
and  enquire  what  it  is.  (He  accosts  him.)  I  wish  you 
health  in  as  loud  a  voice  as  my  strength  admits  of. 

Leon.  Exerciser  of  the  whip,  health  to  you. 

Lib.  Keeper  of  the  gaol,  how  do  you  do  ? 

Leon.  Ha !  colonizer  of  the  chains.  Lib.  Ha !  delight  of 
the  scourges. 

Leon.  When  naked,  how  many  pounds  do  you  say  you 
are  in  weight  ? 

Lib.  Upon  my  faith,  I  don't  know.  Leon.  I  know  that 
you  don't  know ;  but,  i'  faith,  I  who  have  weighed  you  do 
know.  Tied  up  naked,  you  were  a  hundred  pounds  in  weight, 
when  you  were  hanging  with  your  feet  downwards. 

Lib.  On  what  evidence  is  that  ?  Leon.  I'll  tell  you  on 
what  evidence,  and  in  what  way.  When  you  are  tied  up 
with  a  full  hundred  pounds  to  your  feet3,  when  the  manacles 

1  Person  trembles  that  sweats') — Ver.  293.  Probably  Leonida  is  out  of  breath 
and  in  a  perspiration ;  Libanus  considers  this  as  a  bad  omen.  By  his  remark  he 
is  supposed  to  allude  to  the  "  sudiculum,"  a  kind  of  scourge,  which  received  its 
name  from  making  those  sweat  who  were  punished  with  it . 

2  Hundred  pounds  to  your  feet) — Ver.  307.  When  slaves  were  hung  up  by  th  i 
arms  to  be  scourged,  it  was  usual  to  fasten  heavy  weights  to  their  feet,  to  prevent 
them  from  kicking  those  who  scourged  them.    The  poor  wit  of  Leonida  seems  tc 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  ASS-DEALEli.  493 

are  fastened  to  your  hands,  and  tied  to  the  beam,  you  are 
weighing  neither  more  nor  less,  than  as  being  a  worthless 
and  good-for-nothing  fellow. 

Lib.  Woe  be  to  you  !  Leon.  That,  Servitude  bequeaths 
to  you  by  her  will. 

Lib.  I  wish  this  skirmishing  of  words  to  be  cut  short. 
What  matter  is  this  r 

Leon.  Am  I  sure  in  trusting  you  ? 

Lib.  Tou  may,  without  hesitation.  Leon.  If  you  wish  to 
assist  our  master's  son  in  his  amour,  there  is  so  much  of  a 
good  opportunity  on  a  sudden,  but  still  mingled  with  evil — all 
the  hangman's  days  will  be  rendered  famous  by  ourselves. 
Libanus,  now  have  we  occasion  to  find  some  boldness  and 
inventiveness.  An  exploit  so  great  have  I  thought  of  just 
now,  that  we  two  may  be  pronounced  the  most  deserving  of 
all  for  torture  to  befall  us. 

Lib.  'Twas  on  that  account  I  was  wondering  why  my 
shoulder-blades  were  aching  just  now,  which  were  beginning 
to  prognosticate  that  there  was  some  danger  for  them  at 
home.     Whatever  it  is,  speak  out. 

Leon.  Tis  great  booty  with  great  risk. 

Lib.  If  indeed  all  persons  by  compact  were  to  collect  all 
the  tortures,  I  have,  I  fancy,  a  back  at  home,  so  that  I  need 
not  seek  it  out  of  doors. 

Leon.  If  you  maintain  such  firmness  of  resolve,  then  we 
are  all  right. 

Lib.  Why,  if  the  matter  were  to  be  atoned  for  by  my  back, 
I  could  wish  to  seize  the  public  money  :  I'll  persist  in  my 
denial,  and  I'll  endure  all;  in  fine,  I'll  forswear  myself. 

Leon.  Ah !  that's  true  valour,  when  occasion  is,  for  one  to 
endure  misfortune  with  boldness.  He  that  endures  misfor- 
tune with  boldness,  that  man  afterwards  enjoys  good  for- 
tune. 

Lib.  Why  don't  you  tell  the  matter  at  once  ?  I'm  longing 
to  tempt  the  scourge. 

Leon,  (breathing  hard).  Ask  deliberately  each  particular 
then,  that  I  may  rest  me.  Don't  you  see  that  I'm  still  out 
of  breath  with  running  ? 

have  this  meaning :  punning  upon  the  word  "  pendeo,"  which  signifies  either  "  to 
nang  from"  or  "  to  weigh,"  he  says,  that  when  Libanus  is  tied  up  with  the  weight 
at  his  feet,  he  weighs  just  as  much  as  the  weight  and  no  more ;  for,  being  a 
worthless  fellowi  he  has  no  weight  whatever  as  a  good  man. 


491  A  SIN  aria  ;  Act  II. 

Lib.  Well,  well,  I'll  wait  your  pleasure,  even,  in  fact,  till 
you  die. 
•  Leon.  "Where's  our  master,  pray  ? 

Lib.  The  old  one  is  at  the  Eorum,  the  young  one  is  here 
in-doors. 

Leon.  That's  enough  for  me  then.  Lib.  Is  it  then  that 
you've  become  a  rich  man  ? 

Leon.  Leave  off  your  raillery.  Lib.  I'll  have  done ;  for 
my  ears  are  in  expectation  of  what  yon  are  bringing  me. 

Leon.  Grive  your  attention,  that  equally  with  myself  vou 
may  learn  this. 

Lib.  I'm  silent,  then.  Leon.  Tou  oblige  me.  Don't  you 
remember  that  our  chamberlain  sold  some  Arcadian  asses  to 
a  dealer  of  Pella1  ? 

Lib.  I  remember  it ;  after  that,  what  then  ? 

Leon.  Well,  he  has  sent  some  money  here  then  to  be 
paid  to  Saurea,  for  the  asses ;  a  young  man  has  just  now 
come  who  has  brought  this  money. 

Lib.  Where  is  this  person  ? 

Leon.  You  think  he  ought  to  be  devoured  this  instant,  if 
you  could  see  him. 

Lib.  Aye,  to  be  sure.  But,  however,  you  are  speaking,  I 
suppose,  of  those  asses,  aged  and  lame,  whose  hoofs  were 
quite  worn  away  to  their  very  thighs  ? 

Leon.  Those  same  ones,  that  carried  the  elm  twigs  hither 
from  the  country,  for  your  use. 

Lib.  I  understand  you ;  and  the  same  ones  carried  you 
from  here,  bound,  into  the  country2. 

Leon.  You  say  wrhat's  quite  correct.  But  as  I  was  sitting 
in  the  barber's  shop,  he  began  to  make  enquiries  of  me, 
whether  I  knew  a  certain  Demaenetus,  the  son  of  Strato.  At 
once  I  said  that  I  knew  him,  and  that  I  was  his  servant ;  and 
I  pointed  out  our  house. 

Lib.  After  that,  what  then  ?  Leon.  He  said  that  he  was 
bringing  the  money  for  the  asses  to  the  chamberlain  Saurea, 
twenty  minae  in  amount ;  but  that  he  himself  didn't  know 

1  Dealer  of  Pella) — Ver.  337.  Pella  was  a  wealthy  city  of  Macedonia,  famed 
for  the  opulence  of  its  merchants.  It  was  the  hirthplace  of  Alexander  th« 
Great. 

Bound,  into  the  country) — Ver.  345.  Namely,  to  the  "  ergastulum,"  of 
"  puteus,"  the  place  to  which  refractory  slaves  were  sent  for  hard  labour,  an^ 
which  was  generally  at  the  country-house  ofthe  master. 


8C.  II.  OR,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  495 

the  individual,  who  he  was,  but  that  he  knew  Demametus 
quite  well.     Since  he  spoke  thus  to  this  effect 

Lib.  What  then?  Leon.  Listen  then,  and  you'll  know. 
At  once  I  made  myself  courteous,  and  a  person  of  con- 
sequence. I  said  that  I  was  the  chamberlain.  Thus,  in 
these  terms  did  he  answer  me  :  "  Upon  my  faith,  I  don't  know 
Saurea,  nor  yet  of  what  appearance  he  is.  It  isn't  fair  for  you 
to  blame  me ;  but  if  you  like,  bring  here  Demsenetus,  your  mas- 
ter, whom  I  do  know ;  I'll  not  prevent  you  taking  the  money 
then."  I  said  that  I  would  bring  him,  and  that  I  should 
be  at  home  immediately.  He's  about  to  go  to  the  baths1, 
from  there  he'll  afterwards  come  here.  What  plan  do  you 
think,  now,  I  ought  to  adopt  ?     Tell  me. 

Lib.  Why,  I'm  thinking  of  this,  how  to  get  between  the 
money,  and  the  stranger,  and  Saurea.  At  present  this  matter 
is  rough-hewn ;  but  if  this  stranger  brings  here  the  money 
first,  then  are  we  both  at  once  shut  out  from  it.  But  the 
old  man  to-day  took  me  apart  at  a  distance  from  the 
house,  and  threatened  me  and  yourself  that  we  should  be 
tasters  of  the  elm  twigs,  if  Argyripous  didn't  this  very  day 
get  twenty  minae  of  silver.  He  commanded  that  we  should 
cheat  either  the  chamberlain  or  his  own  wife,  and  said  that  he 
would  give  the  aid  he  promised.  Now,  do  you  go  to  the 
Forum  to  our  master,  and  tell  him  this,  how  we  are  going  to 
manage  ;  that  you,  from  Leonida,  are  going  to  be  the  cham- 
berlain Saurea,  until  the  dealer  has  brought  the  money  for 
the  asses. 

Leon.  I'll  do  as  you  request  me. 

Lib.  In  the  meantime,  I'll  amuse  him  here,  if  by  chance 
he  should  come  first. 

Leon.  But  what  say  you ?     Lib.  What  do  you  want  ? 

Leon.  If  I  give  you  a  blow  on  the  cheek  with  my  fist, 
by-and-by,  while  I'm  personating  Saurea2,  don't  you  be 
offended. 

Lib.  I'  faith,  but  you'll  have  a  care  not  to  be  touching  me, 

1  Togo  to  the  baths) — Ver.  868.  It  was  very  natural  that  after  a  long  journey 
he  should  first  go  to  the  barber's  shop,  and  then  repair  to  the  public  baths  to  re- 
fresh himself. 

2  Personating  Saurea) — Ver.  375.  Saurea,  as  the  "  atriensis,"  "  chamberlain  " 
or  "gentleman-usher,"  was  the  head  of  the  slave  family;  and  it  was  his  privilege 
4o  beat  the  other  slaves,  if  they  offended  him  or  neglected  their  duties. 


496  ASINARIA ;  Act  I] 

if  you  are  wise;  you'll  surely  have  changed  your  name  to 
clay  with  a  bad  omen1. 

Leon.  Prithee,  do  endure  it  with  resolution. 

Lib.  Do  you  endure  the  cuff  that  I,  too,  shall  be  giving 
you  in  return. 

Leon.  I  speak  as  it's  in  the  habit  of  being  done. 

Lib.  I'  faith,  and  I  speak,  too,  of  how  I'm  likely  to  act. 

Leon.  Don't  refuse  me. 

Lib.  Why  I  promise,  I  tell  you,  to  give  you  a  like  return, 
just  as  you  deserve. 

Leon".  I'm  off;  I  know  that  you'll  put  up  with  it  by- 
and-by.  But  who's  this  ?  Tis  he — 'tis  the  very  man  him- 
self. I'll  return  here  just  now ;  in  the  meantime  do  you 
detain  him  here ;  I  want  to  inform  the  old  gentleman. 

{Exit. 

Lib.  Well,  do  your  duty,  then,  and  fly. 

Scene  III. — Enter  the  Ass-Dealer  with  a  Boy. 

Ass-D.  (to  himself).  According  as  it  was  pointed  out  to  me, 
this  must  be  the  house  where  Demaenetus  is  said  to  live.  (To 
the  Boy.)  Go,  boy,  and  knock,  and  call  Saurea  the  chamber- 
lain out  here,  if  he's  in-doors.   (The  Boy  goes  to  knock.) 

Lib.  Who's  breaking  in  our  door  in  this  fashion  ?  Enough 
there,  I  say,  if  you  hear  me  at  all. 

Ass-D.  No  one  has  touched  it  as  yet :  are  you  out  of 
your  senses  ? 

Lib.  Why  I  thought  that  you  had  touched  it,  because  you 
were  steering  your  course  in  that  direction.  I  don't  want 
the  door,  my  fellow- slave2,  to  be  thumped  by  you ;  I  really 
am  attached  to  our  house. 

Ass-D.  I'  faith,  there's  no  fear  of  the  hinges  being  broken 
off  the  doors,  if  you  answer  all  who  make  enquiries  in  this 
fashion. 

1  Your  name  to-day  with  a  bad  omen) — Ver.  377.  Limiers  says  that  this  is  said 
in  allusion  to  his  having  assumed  the  name  of  "  Saurea,"  which  meant  "  %  iash  ' 
or  "  scourge." 

2  My  fellow-slave)— Ver.  390.  He  so  calls  the  door,  from  the  fact  of  it«  being 
nnder  the  control  of  the  "janitor,"  or  "  doorkeeper,"  who  was  also  a  slave.  Ovid 
has  a  similar  passage  in  his  Amores,  B.  1,  El.  6,  1.  74.  In  his  address  to  th« 
"janitor,"  he  says,  "  Duraqne  conservae,  ligna,  valete,  fores,"  "  And  you,  ye  doors 
equally  slaves,  hard-hearted  blocks  of  wood,  farewelL" 


Sc.  IT.  OE,  THE  ASS-DEALEU.  497 

Lib.  This  door  is  of  this  habit ;  it  cries  out  at  once  for  the 
porter,  if  it  sees  any  door-kicker  at  a  distance  coming  towards 
it.  But  what  are  you  come  for  ?  What  are  you  enquiring 
about  ? 

Ass-D.  I  wanted  Demaenetus.  Lib.  If  he  were  at  home, 
I  would  tell  you  so. 

Ass-D.  Well,  his  chamberlain  then  ?  Lib.  No  more  is 
he  at  home. 

Ass-D.  Where  is  he  ?  Lib.  He  said  he  was  going  to  the 
barber's, 

Ass-D.  Hasn't  he  returned,  since  he  went  there  ? 

Lib*.  I'  faith,  he  hasn't.   Wliat  did  you  want  ? 

Ass-D.  He  was  to  have  received  twenty  minae  of  silver,  if 
he  had  been  in. 

Lib.  What  was  it  for  ?  Ass-D.  He  sold  some  asses  at 
market  to  a  dealer  from  Pella. 

Lib.  I  understand ;  you  are  bringing  it  now.  I  think  that 
he'll  be  here  just  now. 

Ass-D.  Of  what  appearance  is  your  chamberlain  Saurea  i 
If  it's  he,  I  shall  be  able  to  know  at  once. 

Lib.  Lantern-jawed,  with  reddish  hair,  a  little  pot-bellied, 
with  glaring  eyes,  middling  stature,  sour  aspect. 

Ass-D.  A  painter  couldn't  have  more  correctly  described 

his  appearance And,  i'  faith,  I  see  the  very  man ;  he's 

coming  this  way,  wagging  his  head. 

Lib.  Whoever  gets  in  his  way  when  lie's  in  a  passion,  he'll 
be  for  striking  him. 

Ass-D.  By  my  faith,  if,  indeed,  he  were  coming  filled  with 
the  threats  and  the  courage  of  the  grandson  of  iEacus1,  if 
he  were  to  touch  me  in  his  wrath,  in  his  wrath  he  would  be 
getting  a  thrashing. 

Scene  IV. — Enter  Leonida,  counterfeiting  Saurea. 

Leon,  (to  himself).  What's  this  to  do  here?  Not  a  person 
cares  a  bit  about  my  orders !  How  did  I  order  Libanus  to 
come  to  the  barber's  shop,  and  he  didn't  come  at  all.  I' 
faith,  for  sure  he  hasn't  consulted  well  for  his  back  and 
his  legs. 

}  Of  the  grandson  of^Eacus)—Ver.  409.  He  alludes  to  the  wrath  of  Aenilles, 
the  son  of  Peleus,  and  grandson  of  jEacus,  "the  direful  spring  "of  the  Greciau 
*oes,  with  which  the  Iliad  commences. 

a  k 


498  asinaria  ;  Act  II. 

Ass-D.  (to  himself).  This  is  a  very  overbearing  fellow. 

Lib.  (to  the  Ass-Dealer).  Woe  to  me  this  day! 

Leon.  I  bid  welcome  to  Libanus,  the  freed-man !  Are  you 
set  at  liberty  now  ? 

Lib.  I  do  implore  you.  Leon.  In  good  sooth,  to  your 
great  misfortune  surely  have  you  fallen  in  my  way.  "Why 
didn't  you  come  to  the  barber's  shop,  as  I  ordered  you  ? 

Lib.  (pointing  to  the  Ass-Dealer).  This  person  de- 
tained me. 

Leon.  I'  faith,  if  in  fact  you  were  now  to  say  that  supreme 
Jove  had  detained  you,  and  he  were  present  to  sue  for  you, 
you  shouldn't  escape  the  evil  consequences.  Whip-knave, 
did  you  disobey  my  orders  ?     (Offers  to  strike  him.) 

Lib.  (to  the  Ass-Dealer).  Stranger,  I'm  done  for. 

Ass-D.  Prithee,  Saurea,  for  my  sake,  don't  beat  him. 

Leon.  I  wish,  now,  I  had  a  whip  in  my  hand 

Ass-D.  Prithee,  do  be  appeased.  Leon.  ■ — With  which  to 
lash  your  sides,  which  have  grown  callous  with  blows.  (To  the 
Ass-Dealer,  who  interposes.)  Stand  off  this  way ;  let  me  be 
the  death  of  this  fellow  who  is  continually  inflaming  me  with 
anger — a  thief  to  whom  I  can  never  once  enjoin  a  single  thing, 
but -that  I  must  command  the  same  things  a  hundred  times, 
and  din  them  in  his  ears1.  For  that  reason,  now,  by  my  troth, 
what  with  bawling  and  passion,  I  cannot  endure  the  labour. 
Have  you,  you  rascal,  (pointing)  ordered  this  dirt  to  be  re- 
moved hence  from  the  door  ?  Have  you  ordered  the  labours 
of  the  spiders  to  be  swept  down  from  the  pillars  ?  Have 
you  ordered  those  bosses  on  our  door2  to  be  brought  to 
brightness  ?  It's  of  no  use ;  I  must  walk  about  with  a  stick, 
as  though  I  were  a  lame  man.  Because  only  for  these  single 
three  days  I  have  been  giving  my  constant  attendance  at 
the  Forum,  in  order  to  find  some  one  who  requires  money 
upon  interest,  here,  in  the  meantime,  are  you  sleeping  at 
home,  and  my  master  is  living  in  a  pigstye,  not  in  a  house. 
(He  strikes  Libanus.)  There  now,  take  you  that. 

Lib.  (to  the  Ass-Dealer).  Prithee,  stranger,  do  take  my 
part 

1  Din  them  in  his  ears) — Ver.  427.  "  Obganniam."  This  word  literally  signifies 
"  to  bark  like  a  fox." 

2  Bosses  on  our  door) — Ver.  431.  The  "  bullse,"  or  "bosses,"  here  mentioned, 
were  large  heads  of  brass  or  gilt  nails  with  which  the  doors  of  the  Romans  were 
ornamented. 


Sc.  IV.  OE,  THE  ASS-DEALEB.  499 

Ass-D.  Saurea,  for  my  sake,  I  entreat  you,  do  let  him  go, 

Leon.  Hark  you !  has  any  one  paid  for  the  carriage  of 
that  olive  oil  ? 

Lib.  He  has  paid.     Leon.  To  whom  was  it  given  ? 

Lib.  To  Stichus  himself,  your  deputy.  Leon.  Tut !  you're 
trying  to  mollify  me1.  I  know  that  he  is  my  deputy,  and  that, 
there  isn't  a  servant  in  the  house  who  is  more  valuable  to 
his  master  than  he  is.  But  the  wines  that  I  sold  yesterday 
to  Exserambus,  the  wine  merchant,  has  he  yet  paid  Stichus 
for  them  ? 

Lib.  I  think  he  has,  in  full ;  for  I  saw  Exairambus  himself 
bringing  hither  his  banker. 

Leon.  On  such  terms  would  I  always  deal2 ;  before,  wha(, 
I've  trusted,  I've  hardly  been  paid  within  a  year  after. 
Now  he's  quite  in  a  hurry ;  even  of  his  own  accord  he  brings 
him  to  the  house,  and  writes  a  transfer  of  the  money3. 

Leon.  Has  Dromo  paid  down  the  wages  agreed  upon  ? 

Lib.  Less  than  half,  I  think.  Leon.  "What  about  the  re- 
mainder ? 

Lib.  He  said  that  he  would  pay  it  directly  it  was  paid4  to 
him ;  for  it  was  retained  until  he  had  finished  the  work  that 
was  agreed  on  to  be  done  by  him. 

Leon.  The  cups  that  I  lent  to  Philodamus,  has  he  brought 
them  back  ? 

Lib.  Not  yet.  Leon.  "What,  not  yet  ?  If  you  wish  to 
make  a  present5,  lend  to  a  person  that  is  a  friend 

1  Trying  to  mollify  me) — Ver.  439.  Inasmuch  as  he  pretends  to  be  jealous  of 
Stichus  enjoying  the  favour  of  the  pretended  Saurea,  and  being  appointed  his- 
"  vicarius,"  or  "  deputy,"  in  preference  to  himself. 

2  Would  I  always  deal ) — Ver.  444.  "  Sic  dedero."  Camerarius  and  Lam- 
binus  give  these  words  a  rather  far-fetched  meaning,  and  think  that  they  signify,. 
r 1  had  rather  give  away  my  commodities,  than  sell  them  and  be  so  ill-paid." 

3  Writes  a  transfer  of  the  money) — Ver.  445.  "  Scribere  nummos  "  seems  here 
to  have  the  usual  meaning  of  "  rescribere  nummos,"  to  "  transfer  "  or  "  set  down 
money  to  the  account  of  another  person  in  one's  banker's  books." 

4  Directly  it  was  paid) — Ver.  448.  It  was  the  custom  with  the  owners  of  slaves 
to  let  out  their  services  for  a  specified  sum.  He  pretends  that  Dromo  is  a  slave 
that  has  been. let  out  by  him  for  a  job,  and  enquires  whether  the  money  is  paid; 
on  which  he  is  told,  that  he  has  only  been  paid  half,  inasmuch  as  the  job  is  not 
yet  finished,  and  that  the  other  half  is  retained  until  he  has  completed  it. 

5  Wish  to  make  a  present) — Ver.  450.  At  the  suggestion  of  Gronovws,."'dare-'* 
is  read,  in  this  line,  with  a  comma  after  it,  instead  of  tl  da,"  the  usual  reading. 

In  the  latter  case  the  passage  would  read,  " if  you  choose,  do  a  service  for  a 

friend,"  whiSb  certainly  has  not  the  point  of  the  other  version. 

2  jc£ 


500  ASINARIA ;  A  ct  II. 

Ass-D.  (aside).  I' faith,  I'm  quite  undone;  he'll  be  just 
now  driving  me  away  with  his  ill-temper. 

Lib.  (in  a  low  voice  to  Leonid  a).  Hallo!  you,  enough 
now.     Do  you  hear  what  he's  saying  ? 

Leon,  (in  the  same  way  to  Libanus).  I  hear,  and  I'll  have 
done. 

Ass-D.  (aside).  At  last,  I  think,  he  has  done :  now  it's  best 
to  accost  him  before  he  commences  again  to  prate.  (To 
Leonida.)  '  How  soon,  sir,  will  you  give  me  your  attention  r 

Leon.  Oh,  by  all  means — have  you  been  here  any  time  r 
Troth,  I  didn't  observe  you ;  pray,  don't  lay  it  to  my  charge : 
anger  has  so  blinded  my  eyesight. 

Ass-D.  'Tisn't  to  be  wondered  at.  But  if  he's  at  home, 
I  was  wanting  Demaenetus. 

Leon.  Libanus  says  that  he  isn't  within.  But  still,  if 
you  like  to  pay  that  money  over  to  me,  I'll  give  you  au 
acquittance  that  the  account  is  discharged  as  to  that  item. 

Ass-D.  This  way  rather,  for  me  to  pay  you  in  the  presence 
of  your  master,  Demaenetus. 

Lib.  My  master  knows  him,  and  he  my  master. 

Ass-D.  In  his  master's  presence,  I'll  pay  him. 

Lib.  At  my  peril,  so  you  only  pay  him,  I'll  engage  the 
matter's  safe.  For  if  our  old  gentleman  were  to  know  that 
confidence  wasn't  placed  in  him,  to  whom  he  himself  always 
entrusts  the. management  of  all  matters,  he  would  be  angry. 

Leon.  1  don't  much  care ;  don't  let  him  not  pay  it,  if  he 
don't  like ;  so  let  him  stand  here. 

Lib.  Give  it  him,  I  say.  Oh  dear,  I'm  sadly  afraid  that 
he'll  be  thinking  that  I've  persuaded  you  not  to  trust  him ; 
prithee,  do  give-  it  and  don't  be  afraid.  Upon  my  word,  it 
will  be  safe. 

Ass-D.  I  think  it  will  be — so  long,  indeed,  as  I  myself  keep 
it  in  my  hand.     I'm  a  stranger ;  I  don't  know  Saurea. 

Lib.  "Well,  know  him  now  then. 

Ass-D.  It  may  be  he,  it  may  not  be  he;  i'  faith,  I 
know  not ;  if  it's  he,  why  then  it  must  be  he.  I  know  for 
sure  that  I  shall  give  this  up  to  no  person  that  I  don't 
know. 

Leon,  (aside) .  Troth  now,  may  all  the  Grods  confound  the 
fellow.  (Aloud  to  Libanus.)  Take  care  you  don't  entreat  him 
with  a  word.   He's  arrogant,  because  he's  fingering  my  twenty 


Sc.  r\r.  0E,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  501 

minse.  No  one  will  take  it.  (To  the  Ass-Dealer.)  Take 
yourself  off  home,  be  off  from  here,  and  don't  be  troublesome. 

Ass-D.  You  are  in  too  angry  mood:  it  isn't  right  for  a 
person  who  is  a  slave  to  give  himself  airs. 

Lib.  By  my  faith,  to  your  own  great  misfortune  now  are 
you  talking  uncivilly  to  him.  Dirty,  worthless  fellow,  don't 
you  see  he's  angry  ? 

Leon,  (to  the  Ass-Dealer).  Be  off  then. 

Lib.  (to  the  Ass-Dealer).  Scoundrelly  fellow.  (Aside  to 
him.)  Prithee,  do  give  him  the  money  lest  he  should  abuse 
you. 

Ass-D.   On  my  word,  you  are  seeking  evil  for  yourselves. 

Leon,  (to  Libanus).  By  the  powers,  your  legs  shall  be 
broken1,  if  you  don't  proclaim  this  shameless  fellow. 

Lib.  Troth,  I'm  undone.     Be  off,  you  shameless  fellow. 

Leon.  Tou  rascal.  Lib.  (to  Me  Ass-Dealer).  Won't 
you  venture  to  assist  me,  you  rascal  ? 

Leon.  Do  you  persist  in  soliciting  the  scamp  ? 

Ass-D.  How's  this?  (To  Leonida.)  Do  you,  rascal,  who 
are  a  slave,  speak  abusively  to  a  free  man  ? 

Leon.  Give  him  a  beating.  Ass-D.  By  my  faith,  that 
surely  shall  befall  yourself  to  get  a  beating  as  soon  as  ever  I 
shall  see  Demsenetus  this  day.    I  summon  you  to  judgment2. 

Leon.  I  shan't  go.  Ass-D.  Tou  won't  go  ?  Eemem- 
ber 

Leon.  I  do  remember.  Ass-D.  I'  faith,  I'll  have  satis- 
faction out  of  your  back. 

Leon.  "Woe  unto  you?  "What,  villain — satisfaction  to  be' 
given  by  us  to  you  indeed  ? 

Ass-D.  Aye,  and  even  this  very  day  satisfaction  shall  be 
given  me  for  your  abusive  language. 

Leon.  How  now,  whip-knave  ?  How  say  you,  hang-dog  ? 
Do  you  suppose  that  we  shall  run  away  from  our  master  ?    Go 

1  Your  legs  shall  be  broken) — Ver.  479.  One  of  the  most  cruel  punishments 
inflicted  on  refractory  or  runaway  slaves  was  that  of  breaking  their  legs.  To 
effect  this,  their  le^s  were  extended  upon  an  anvil,  and  then  struck  with  a  bar  of 
iron  or  a  hammer. 

2  Summon  you  to  judgment)— Ver.  485.  "In  jus  vocare,"  "to  summon  into 
court,"  was  the  term  applied  when  one  party  lodged  a  criminal  information  against 
another. 


502  asinaria  ;  Act  II. 

this  instant  then  to  our  master,  where  you  were  citing  ua 
just  now,  and  where  you  were  wishing  to  go. 

Ass-D.  What,  now  at  last  ?  Still,  you  shall  never  get  a 
coin  of  money  away  from  me,  unless  Demaenetus  shall  order 
me  to  give  it. 

Leon.  Do  so.  Come,  move  on  then.  Are  you  to  offer 
insults  to  another  person,  and  are  they  not  to  be  repeated  to 
yourself?     I'm  a  man  as  much  as  you  are. 

Ass-D.  No  doubt  such  is  the  fact. 

Leon.  Follow  me  this  way,  then.  With  your  good  leave1 
I  would  now  say  this :  not  a  person  has  ever  accused  me  by 
reason  of  my  deserving  it,  nor  is  there  in  Athens  one  other 
individual,  this  day,  whom  they  would  think  they  could  as 
safely  trust. 

Ass-D.  Perhaps  so  :  but  still,  you  shall  never  this  day  per- 
suade me  to  entrust  to  you,  whom  I  don't  know,  this  money. 
A  man  to  a  man  is  a  wolf 2,  not  a  man,  when  the  other  doesn't 
know  of  what  character  he  is. 

Leon.  Now  at  last  you  are  appeasing  me3 :  I  was  sure 
that  this  day  you  would  give  satisfaction  to  this  poor  head  of 
mine  ;  although  I'm  in  mean  garb,  still,  I'm  well  to  do,  nor 
can  an  estimate  of  my  means  be  formed  from  it. 

xlss-D.  Perhaps  so.  Leon.  Still  more  then  I  tell  you : 
Periphanes,  a  merchant  of  Rhodes,  a  rich  man,  in  the  ab- 
sence of  my  master,  himself  alone  paid  over  to  me,  in 
private,  a  talent  of  silver,  and  trusted  me,  nor  was  he  de- 
ceived in  it. 

1  With  your  good  leave) — Ver.  495.  "  Prsefiscini."  It  was  a  common  notion 
among  the  ancients,  that  if  a  person  spoke  in  commendation  of  himself,  he  stood 
in  danger  of  fascination — the  effect  of  envy  or  enchantment  on  the  part  of  another 
person.  For  this  reason,  on  such  occasions  they  prefaced  with  the  word  "  prae- 
iiscini,"  understanding  "  dixerim,"  "  I  would  say."  This  meant  "  without  im- 
peachment of  malice,"  "  be  it  spoken  in  a  good  hour,"  or,  as  we  say,  "  by  your 
leave." 

2  Man  to  a  man  is  a  wolf) — Ver.  499.  There  was  an  ancient  proverb,  "  Homo 
homini  lupus,"  "  Man  is  to  man  a  wolf."  It  probably  implied  much  the  same  as 
the  more  celebrated  words  of  a  modern  Poet: 

Man's  inhumanity  to  man  makes  countless  thousands  mourn. 

3  You  are  appeasing  me) — Ver.  500.  This  he  seems  to  say  in  \  spirit  of  irony. 
Huic  capitulo  "  is  literally  "  to  this  little  head  •"  meaning,  '  to  this  humbJe 

individual,  myself." 


Sc.  IV.  OB,  THE  ASS-DEALEH.  503 

Ass-D.  Perhaps  so.  Leon.  And  you,  too,  yourself,  as 
well,  if  you  had  enquired  about  me  of  other  people,  would, 
i'  faith,  I'm  quite  sure,  have  entrusted  to  me  what  you  now 
have  with  you. 

Ass-D.  I  don't  deny  it.  •    (Exeunt. 

Act  III. — Scene  I. 

Enter  Cle^reta  and  Philenitjm,  from  the  house  of  the 
former. 

Cle.  And  am  I  unable  to  render  you  obedient  to  my  in- 
junctions ?  Or  are  you  so  disposed  as  to  be  free  from  the 
control  of  your  mother  ? 

Phil.  How  could  I  propitiate  Piety1,  if  I  could  desire  to 
please  you,  being  endowed  with  these  manners,  after  the 
fashion,  mother,  that  you  enjoin  upon  me  ? 

Cle.  Is  it  consistent  with  propriety  for  you  to  oppose  my 
precepts  ? 

Phil.  How  so  ?  Cle.  Is  this  worshipping  Piety,  to  lessen 
the  authority  of  a  mother  ? 

Phil.  Those  who  act  right  I  blame  not,  nor  do  I  love 
those  who  do  wrong. 

Cle.  Tou  are  a  very  prating,  lovesick  girl. 

Phil.  Mother,  that  is  my  living2.  His  tongue  woos 
me,  his  person  seeks  me,  his  passion  pleads,  opportunity 
prompts. 

Cle.  I  was  purposing  to  convince  you.  Are  you  come  as 
my  accuser  ? 

Phil.  By  my  troth,  I  neither  do  accuse  you,  nor  do  I 
think  it  right  I  should  do  so ;  but  I  do  complain  of  my  lot, 
when  I  am  separated  from  him  whom  I  love. 

Cle.  Will  then  one  bit  of  the  whole  day's  talk  be  left  for 
myself? 

Phil.  Both  my  share  of  the  speaking  and  your  own  do  I 
give  up  to  you.    Do  you  yourself  keep  the  signal3  both  for 

1  Could  I  propitiate  Piety)— Ver.  510.  She  thinks  that  the  Goddess  "  Pietas  " 
wiL  be  shocked  at  her  want  of  kind  and  grateful  feeling,  if  she  consents  to  turn 
Argyrippus  out  of  doors. 

8  That  is  my  living) — Ver.  516.  It  is  hard  to  say  which  she  means  as  the 
source  of  her  profit — whether  her  loving  propensities,  or  her  fund  of  talkative- 
ness, for  which  her  mother  is  censuring  her.  The  next  hue  is  spoken  with  re- 
ference to  her  passion  for  Argyrippus. 

s  Keep  the,  signal) — Ver.  523.  "  Portisculum."     According  to  some  writers, 

portisculus  "  was  %  name  of  the  "  pausaurius  "  or  "  hortator,"  called  by  the 


504  asixakia  ;  Act  III. 

speaking  and  for  being  silent.  But,  i'  faith,  if  I  only  put  up 
my  oars  in  the  boat-honse1,  while  I'm  resting,  all  the  welfare 
of  the  household  is  at  a  standstill  for  you. 

Cle.  How  say  you,  the  out  and  out  most  insolent  woman 
that  ever  I  saw  ?  How  often  have  I  forbidden  you  to  speak  to# 
Argyrippus,  the  son  of  Demaenetus,  or  to  touch  him,  or  to  hold 
discourse  with  him,  or  to  look  at  him  ?  What  has  he  ever 
given  ?  AVhat  has  he  ordered  to  be  brought  to  our  house  ?  Or 
do  you  fancy  to  yourself  that  smooth  words  are  gold  ? — that 
clever  speeches  are  as  good  as  presents  ?  Of  your  own 
accord  you  fell  in  love  with  him  ;  of  your  own  accord  you  go 
after  him ;  of  your  own  accord  you  request  him  to  be  sent 
for  to  you.  Those  who  are  givers,  those  same  you  laugh 
at ;  those  who  are  cheating  us,  you  are  dying  for.  If  any 
one  promises  you  that  he'll  make  you  rich  when  his  mother 
dies,  ought  you  to  be  waiting  for  that  ?  I'  faith,  a  great  risk 
impends  over  ourselves  and  the  household,  that  we  may  die 
of  hunger  while  we  are  awaiting  her  death.  Now  therefore, 
unless  he  brings  me  here  twenty  minae  of  silver,  upon  my 
word,  though  profuse  of  his  tears,  he  shall  certainly  be  turned 
from  here  out  of  doors.  This  day's  the  end  of2  excuses  for 
poverty  at  my  house. 

Phil.  If,  my  mother,  you  were  to  order  me  to  go  without 
victuals,  I  would  submit. 

Cle.  I  don't  forbid  you  to  love  those  who  give  that  for  the 
sake  of  which  they  ought  to  be  loved. 

Phil.  What,  mother,  if  this  inclination  of  mine  is  fixed? 
What  am  I  to  do  ?     Tell  me. 

Cle.  Oh  dear — look  at  my  head3,  if,  indeed,  you  consider 
your  own  interest. 

Phil.  Even  the  shepherd,  mother,  that  feeds  the  sheep 

Greeks  Ke\ev<TTT)s,  an  officer  whose  duty  it  was  to  order  the  rowers  to  keq. 
time.  In  the  present  passage,  it  seems  rather  to  signify  the  hammer,  or  otluT 
instrument,  which  that  officer  held  in  his  hand,  for  the  purpose  of  beating  time, 
to  regulate  the  motion  of  the  rowers ;  not  unlike  the  baton  of  the  conductor  of  a 
band. 

1  In  the  toat-hwse)— Ver.  524.  "  In  casteria."  Nonius  Marcellus  informs  us 
that  "  casteria"  was  a  house,  in  which  the  oars,  rudders,  sails,  and  tackle,  wer6 
aept,  when  the  ship  was  laid  up  in  dock. 

2  The  end  of) — Ver.  531.  "  Summa  "  seems  a  preferable  reading  to  "  summse." 
»  Look  at  my  head) — Ver.  543.  She  tells  her  daughter  to  look  at  her  grey  hairs,- 

meaning  that  she  must  make  a  provision  against  old  age,  when  her  admirers  wii! 
forsake  her,  aad  she  will  Lave  no  means  of  gaining  a  livelihood. 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  505 

of  another,  has  a  certain  one  of  his  own  to  be  the  consoler  of 
his  hopes.  For  the  sake  of  my  affection,  do  allow  me  to 
love  Argyrippus  only,  who  is  my  choice. 

Cle.  Go  in-doors,  for,  upon  my  word,  there  is  really 
nothing  more  impudent  than  yourself. 

"Phil.  Mother,  you  have  given  birth  to  a  daughter  obe- 
dient to  your  commands.     (They  go  into  the  housed) 

Scene  II. — Enter  Leonida  and  Libanus. 

Leon.  Great  praise  and  thanks  we  give  deservedly  to  per- 
fidy, when  relying  upon  our  tricks,  our  stratagems,  and  our 
devices,  upon  our  confidence  in  our  shoulder-blades  and  the 
hardihood  resulting  from  the  elm-twigs  so  oft  applied,  against 
the  whips,  the  searing-irons,  the  crosses,  and  the  fetters,  the 
cords,  the  chains,  the  prisons,  the  stocks,  the  shackles,  the 
collars,  and  taskmasters  most  cruel  and  well  acquainted  with 
our  backs,  who  many  a  time  before  have  imprinted1  scars 
upon  our  shoulder-blades  ;  by  conquering,  now,  these  legions, 
troops  and  armies  of  thieves,  by  our  prowess,  through  our 
perjuries,  O  brave,  have  we  gained  the  victory.  This,  through 
the  valour  of  this  comrade  of  mine,  and  through  my  own 
courtesy,  has  been  brought  about. 

Lib.  What  man  is  there  more  firm  than  myself  at  enduring 
stripes  ? 

Leon.  By  the  powers,  you  who  can  extol  your  exploits 
now,  as  I  can  do  exploits,  which  in  peace  and  in  warfare 

you  have  so  villanously  performed;    verily,  in  troth, 

many  in  number  may  they  be  now  recounted  according  to 
your  deserts ;  where  you  have  defrauded  him  that  trusted 
you,  where  you  have  proved  faithless  to  your  master,  where 
knowingly  and  wilfully  you  have  on  solemn  oath  been  per- 
jured, where  you  have  bored  through  party  walls,  where  you 
have  been  detected  in  theft,  where  you  have  full  oft  pleaded 
your  cause,  as  you  hung  up,  against  eight  clever,  hardened 
fellows2,  sturdy  stripers. 

Lib.  Certainly  I  do  admit,  Leonida,  that  it  is  true  as  you 
say.     But  verily,  in  troth,  your  many  misdeeds,  too,  may  be 

'  '  Have  imprinted) — Ver.  556.  The  sense  of  the  passage  seems  to  require  a 
comma  after  "  indiderunt,"  and  not  a  period,  as  Riehter's  edition  has  it. 

2  Eight  clever,  hardened  fellowi) — Ver.  568.  These  were  probably  the  eight 
Lictors  who  attended  the  M  ""Yesvin"  or  "  Triumviri,"  which  magistrates  had  espe- 
eial  jurisdiction  over  slaves  with  the  power  of  ordering summary  ©unlshment. 


506  asin aeia ;  Act  III. 

recounted  as  well  and  truly  ;  where  wilfully  you  have  proved 
faithless  to  the  trusting,  where  you  have  been  detected  in 
theft  and  scourged  in  public,  where  you  have  proved  for- 
sworn, where  you  have  laid  hands  on  sacred  things,  where  to 
your  masters  you  have  full  oft  proved  a  loss,  a  trouble,  and  a 
disgrace,  where  you  have  stoutly  denied  that  that  was  given 
to  you  which  had  been  entrusted  to  you,  where  you  have 
proved  more  faithful  to  your  wench  than  to  your  friend,  where 
through  your  hardihood  you  have  frequently  reduced  to  wea- 
riness eight  sturdy  lictors,  armed  with  pliant  twigs  of  elm. 
(To  the  Audience.)  Is  the  compliment  ill  repaid  in  the  way 
that  I've  praised  my  comrade  ? 

Leon.  Just  as  befits  both  me  and  yourself,  and  our  dis- 
positions. 

Lib.  Now  drop  this,  and  answer  me  this  that  I  ask. 

Leon.  Enquire  of  me  what  you  please. 

Lib.  Have  you  got  the  twenty  silver  minae  ? 

Leon.  G-uess Upon  my  word,  the  old  gentleman, 

Demsenetus,  has  been  very  obliging  to  us.  How  cleverly  he 
pretended  that  I  was  Saurea.  With  the  greatest  difficulty 
did  I  withhold  my  laughter,  when  he  rebuked  the  stranger, 
because  in  his  absence  he  had  been  unwilling  to  put  confi- 
dence in  me ;  and  with  what  readiness  did  he  call  me  Saurea 
the  chamberlain. 

Lib.  Stop  a  moment.     Leon.  What's  the  matter? 

Lib.  -Isn't  this  Philenium  that's  coming  from  in-doors,  and 
Argyrippus  with  her. 

Leon.  Keep  silence,  'tis  he ;  let's  listen  quietly  to  them. 
In  tears,  she  holds  him,  weeping,  by  the  lappet  of  his  gar- 
ment ;  what,  I  wonder,  am  I  to  say  is  the  matter  ? 

Lib.  Let's  listen  in  silence.  Leon.  Dear  me,  a  thought, 
I'  faith,  has  just  come  into  my  mind ;  I  very  much  wish  I  had 
a  long  stick  here. 

Lib.'  For  what  reason  ?  'Leon.  With  which  to  beat  these 
asses1,  if  perchance  they  should  begin  to  bray  out  here,  from 
within  the  bag.     (  They  stand  apart.) 

Scene  III. — Enter  Aegteippus  from  the  house  of  Cle^:- 
ret a,  followed  by  Philenium. 

Aeg.  Why  are  you  holding  me  back  ? 

1  To  beat  these  asses)— Yer.  593.  He  means  the  money  which  was  to  havebe-n 
oaid  for  the  asses. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  507 

Phil.  Because,  as  I  love  you,  I  cannot  bear  your  de- 
parting. 

Arg.  Farewell.  Phil.  I  should  fare  somewhat  better,  if 
you  were  to  remain  here. 

Arg.  Blessings  on  you.  Phil.  Do  you  wish  for  blessings 
on  me,  to  whom  you  are  bringing  disease  by  your  departure  ? 

Arg.  Tour  mother  has  bid  me  the  last  farewell1 ;  she  has 
requested  me  to  go  home. 

Phil.  A  bitter  death  will  she'cause  her  daughter,  if  1  must 
part  from  you. 

Lib.  (apart,  to  Leonida).  Troth  now,  the  man  has  been 
turned  out  of  doors  there. 

Leon,  (apart).  Such  is  the  fact.  Arg.  Prithee;,  do  let 
me  go. 

Phil.  Whither  are  you  going  now  ?  Why  don't  you  stay 
here? 

Arg.  This  night,  if  you  choose,  I'll  stay. 

Lib.  (apart).  Don't  you  hear  him  P  How  profuse  he  is  of 
his  attentions  by  night.  But  now,  in  the  daytime,  he's  en- 
gaged ;  surely  he's  a  Solon2  to  write  laws  whereby  the  public 
may  regulate  itself.  Psha !  those  who  would  be  in  readiness 
for  themselves  to  pay  obedience  to  his  laws,  would  decidedly 
never  do  any  good ;  they  would  be  drinking  night  and  day. 

Leon,  (apart).  Troth  now,  for  sure,  he  wouldn't  budge  a 
foot  from  her  if  she  would  let  him,  who  is  now  in  such  haste, 
and  is  threatening  that  he's  going  away  from  her. 

Lib.  (apart).  Now  make  an  end  of  your  talk,  that  I  may 
catch  his  discourse. 

Arg.  Farewell !     Phil.  Whither  are  you  hastening  ? 

Arg.  Kindly  fare  you  well !  I  shall  see  you  in  the  other 
world3.  For  indeed  now,  so  soon  as  I  can,  t  shall  sever  my- 
self from  life. 

1  Bid  me  the  last  farewell) — Ver.  598.  The  word  "  vale,"  "  farewell,"  is  here  un- 
derstood, and  reference  is  made,  figuratively,  to  the  usage  of  exclaiming  "  vale ' 
wnen  fire  was  set  to  the  funeral  pile.  In  saying  that  she  bade  him  go  home, 
he  refers  to  the  expression  with  which  the  ceremony  concluded,  M  ilicet,"  "  you 
may  go  away,"  or  "  you  may  go  home." 

2  He's  a  Solon) — Ver.  603.  Solon  was  one  of  the  wise  men  of  Greece,  and  the 
great  lawgiver  of  the  Athenians.  He  was  remarkable  for  the  severity  of  his 
morals. 

i  In  the  other  world) — Ver.  610.  "  Apud  Orcum."  Orcus  was  a  name  of  ths 
Shades  below,  and  was  also  an  epithet  of  the  God  Pluto. 


508  ASINAEIA ;  Act  III. 

Phil.  Prithee,  why,  while  I  do  not  deserve  ii ,  do  you  wish 
to  consign  me  to  death  ? 

Aeg.  I — you  ?  whom,  if  I  were  to  hear  that  you  were  in 
want  of  life,  at  once  would  I  present  you  my  own  life,  and 
from  my  own  would  add  to  yours. 

Phil.  "Why,  then,  do  you  threaten  that  you  will  quit 
life  ?  Por  what  do  you  suppose  that  I  shall  do,  if  you  do 
that  which  you  are  talking  of?  I'm  determined  to  do 
everything  exactly  the  same  to  myself  that  you  do  to  your- 
self.    Aeg.  0  !  sweeter  than  honey  are  you  to  me. 

Phil.  And  surely  you  are  my  life.     Embrace  me. 

Aeg.  I  do  so  with  pleasure.     {They  embrace?) 

Phil.  Would  that  thus  we  might  be  carried  to  the  tomb. 

Leon,  (apart).  O  Libanus,  how  wretched  is  the  man  that 
loves. 

Lib.  (apart).  Aye,  but  surely,  faith,  the  man  that's  hang- 
ing up1  is  much  more  wretched. 

Leon,  (apart).  I  know  that,  who  have  had  experience  of 
it.  Let's  go  round  them :  let's  accost  them,  one  on  the 
one  side,  one  on  the  other.  (One  walks  towards  them  from 
each  side.) 

Lib.  Health  to  you,  master.  But  is  this  female,  smoke, 
that  you  are  embracing  ? 

Alio.  "Why  so  ?  Lib.  Because  your  eyes  are  filled  with 
tears ;  'twas  for  that  reason  I  asked. 

Aeg.  One  who  would  have  been  a  protector  to  you,  you 
Liave  lost. 

Lib.  I'  faith,  I  surely  haven't  lost  one;  for  this  reason,  be- 
cause I  never  had  one. 

Leon.  Health  to  you,  Philenium. 

Phil.  What  you  desire,  the  Gods  will  give  you. 

Lib.  I  could  desire  your  favours,  and  a  cask  of  wine,  if 
wishes  were  to  come  to  pass. 

Aeg.  Whip-knave,  beware  how  you  speak  a  word. 

Lib.  Why,  'tis  for  you,  not  for  myself,  I  wish  it. 

Aeg.  For  that  reason,  then,  say  on  what  you  please. 

Lib.  (pointing  to  Leonid  a).  Troth,  I'd  like  to  give  him 
a  beating. 

Leon.  Who,  pray,  would  allow  you  to  do  so,  you  frizzle- 

1  The  man  that's  hanging  up)— Ver.  621.  He  alludes  to  the  punishment  of  th« 
iaves,  which  has  been  before  referred  to. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  ASS-jDEALER.  500 

pated1  mountebank  ?  Could  you  thrash  me,  you,  who  reckon 
as  your  daily  food  your  own  thrashings  ? 

Arg.  How  far  superior,  Libanus,  are  your  lots  to  my  own, 
who  never  will  live  this  day  until  the  evening. 

Lib.  For  what  reason,  prithee  ?  Arg.  (pointing  to  Phi- 
lenie^t).  Because  I'm  in  love  with  her,  and  she's  in  love 
with  me,  and  nowhere  have  I  anything  to  bestow  upon  her  ; 
for  that  reason  has  her  mother  expelled  me  with  all  my 
affection  from  her  house.  The  twenty  mime  of  silver  have 
brought  me  to  my  end,  which  the  young  man,  Diabolus,  de- 
clared that  he  would  give  her  this  day,  in  order  that  she 
mightn't  send  her  anywhere,  for  this  whole  year,  except  to 
himself.  Don't  you  see  of  what  force  are  twenty  minse  of 
silver,  or  what  they  can  effect  ?  The  man  who  parts  with  ■ 
them  is  happy  ;  I,  who  part  not  with  them,  am  undone. 

Lib.  Has  he  already  paid2  the  money  ? 

Arg.  He  hasn't  paid  it.  Lib.  Be  of  good  courage  ;  don't 
be  afraid. 

Leon,  (to  Libanes).  Step  this  way,  Libanus,  I  want  you. 

Lib.  Certainly,  if  you  want  anything.  (Steps  aside, 
patting  his  hand  on  the  shoulder  o/*  Leonid  a.) 

Arg.  I  entreat  of  you,  is  it  more  pleasant  in  this  same 
matter  for  you  to  discourse  hugging  one  another  ? 

Lib.  Understand,  master,  that  all  things  are  not  equally 
sweet  to  all  persons.  'Tis  pleasant  for  you  lovers  to  converse, 
hugging  one  another  ;  I  care  nothing  for  his  hugging  (point- 
ing to  Leonida),  and  (pointing  to  Philenium)  she  despises 
mine.  Do  you  then  yourself  do  that  which  you  would  be 
suggesting  to  us  to  do. 

Arg.  Indeed  I  will,  and  really  with  pleasure,  i'  faith. 
(Placing  his  arm  round  Philenium' s  neck.)  In  the  mean- 
time, if  it  seems  good  to  you,  do  you  step  aside  there. 

Leon,  (to  Libanus).  Should  you  like  our  master  to  be 
bantered  a  bit  ? 

1  You  frizzle-pated) —  Ver.  681.  "  Calamistrate  "  means  dressed  with  the 
•  calamistrum,"  "  a  crisping-pin,"  or  iron  tube  with  which  the  hair  was  curled. 

2  Has  he  already  paid) — Ver.  642.  "  Jam  dedit  argentum  ?"  This  is  curi- 
ously rendered  by  Gueudeville,  "  Ce  Monsieur  le  Diable  a-t-il  deja  donne'  son 
argent?"  which,  literally  translated,  is,  "Has  this  Mister  Devil  already  paid 
his  money  ?"  He  appears  to  have  taken  a  rather  unwarranted  liberty  in  trans 
lating  the  name  "  Diabolus  "  by  the  term  "  le  Diable" — neither  more  nor  less  than 
Ihe  French  name  of  his  Satanic  Majesty. 


510  ASINAEIA ;  Act  III. 

Lib  .  He  really  is  deserving  of  it. 
•  Leon.  Should  you  like  me,  in  his  presence,  to  make  Phi* 
lenium  embrace  me  ? 

Lib.  I'  faith,  I  should  like  it.  Leon.  Follow  me  this  way 
{TJiey  join  Abgybippus.) 

Aug.  Is  there  any  escape  at  all  ?  Have  you  conversed 
enough  ? 

Leon.  Listen,  and  give  attention,  and  devour  my  words. 
First  of  all,  that  we  are  your  slaves,  we  don't  deny  ;  but  if 
twenty  silver  minae  are  forthcoming  for  you,  by  what  name 
will  you  call  us  ? 

Abo.  Freed-men.     Leon.  And  not  patrons  ? 

Akg.  That  in  preference.  Leon,  (produces  the  bag). 
Here  are  twenty  minse  in  this  bag.  These,  if  you  like,  I'll 
give  you. 

Abg.  May  the  Deities  ever  preserve  you,  protector  of  your 
master,  honor  to  the  people,  treasury  of  resources,  preserver 
of  my  inner  man1,  and  commander  of  love  ;  place  it  here,  put 
down  that  bag,  here  on  the  spot,  at  once2. 

Leon.  I  don't  like  you,  who  are  my  master,  to  carry  this 
load. 

Abg.  Still,  do  you  rid  yourself  of  the  trouble,  and  fasten 
that  bag  to  myself. 

Leon.  I'll  carry  it,  porter-like  ;  you,  as  befits  my  master, 
go,  without  any  burden,  before  me. 

Abg.  How  now  ?  "Why's  this  ?  "Why  don't  you  give  up 
the  bag3  here,  for  your  master  to  feel  its  weight  ? 

Leon.  Bid  her  to  whom  I'm  about  to  give  it,  to  beg  and 
entreat  it  of  me.  For  that's  a  dangerous  spot  where  you  bid 
me  put  it  down  at  once. 

Phil,  {to  Leonid  a).  Apple  of  my  eye,  my  rose,  my  life, 
my  delight,  Leonida,  do  give  me  the  money,  and  don't  sever 
us  lovers  asunder. 

Leon.  (Jo  Philenitjm).  Call  me,  then,  your  little  spar- 

1  Of  my  inner  man) — Ver.  660.  "  Interioris  corporis."  Literally,  "  of  my  inner 
body."  This  is  a  periphrasis  signifying  life,  the  seat  of  which,  the  vital  parts, 
are  within  the  body. 

2  On  the  spot,  at  once) — Ver.  661.  "  In  loco  plane.**  These  words  seem  to 
imply  not  in  a  hanging  position,  but  clean  or  pat  upon  the  ground.  Warner, 
nowever,  renders  the  passage,  "  Tye  the  bag  around  my  neck."  It  was  probably 
the  intention  of  Argyrippus  to  take  it  after  Leonida  had  fairly  put  it  down. 

3  Give  up  the  bag) — Ver.  665.  "  Crumenam  "  seems  a   better  reading  than 
eruinena,"  which  Suchter  adopts. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  511 

row,  your  chicken,  your  quail,  your  pet.  lamb  :  say  that  I'm 
your  pet  kid  or  your  pet  calf;  take  me  by  the  ears,  press 
your  lips  to  my  lips. 

Arg.  She,  kiss  you,  you  whip-scoundrel  ?  Leon.  Eeally, 
how  unbecoming  it  does  seem !  But,  by  the  powers,  you 
shan't  get  it  this  day,  if  my  knees  are  not  embraced. 

Arg.  (aside) .'  Necessity  compels  to  anything.  (To  Leo- 
nida.) Let  them  be  embraced  (kneels  down  and  embraces  his 
knees) :  now  give  what  I'm  asking  for. 

Phil.  Come,  my  Leonida,  prithee  do  bring  safety  to  your 
master  thus  in  love.  Redeem  yourself  from  him  by  this  ser- 
vice, and  purchase  him  for  yourself  with  this  money. 

Leon.  Tou  are  very  pretty  and  amiable  ;  and  if  this  were 
mine,  you  should  never  this  day  ask  me  for  it,  but  I  would 
give  it  you  :  'tis  better  for  you  to  ask  it  of  him  (pointing  to 
Libanus), /or  'twas  he  gave  it  me  to  keep  for  him.  Ap- 
proach him  then  prettily,  my  pretty  one.  (Delivers  the  bag 
to  Libanus.)    Take  this,  please,  Libanus. 

Arg-.  Scoundrel,  are  you  still  trifling  with  me  ? 

Leon.  I'  faith,  I  should  never  have  done  so,  if  you  hadn't 
embraced  my  knees  so  roughly.  (Aside  to  Libanus.)  Come, 
please,  in  your  turn,  do  you  at  once  have  some  sport  with 
him,  and  give  her  an  embrace. 

.  Lib.  (aside  to  Leonida).  Hold  your  tongue  ;  trust  me  for 
that. 

Arg.  Why  don't  we  accost  him,  Philenium  ?  (pointing  to 
Libanus) — really,  a  very  worthy  fellow,  upon  my  faith,  and 
not  like  this  thief  (pointing  to  Leonida). 

Lib.  (aside  to  Leonida).  We  must  walk  up  and  down; 
now,  in  my  turn,  they'll  be  entreating  me. 

Arg.  By  heaven,  Libanus,  I  do  entreat  you,  be  pleased  by 
your  deeds  to  come  to  your  master's  rescue ;  do  give  me 
those  twenty  minae :  you  see  that  thus  in  love  I  stand  in 
need  of  them. 

^  Lib.  It  shall  be  seen  to  ;  I  wish  it  done ;  return  here  at 
nightfall.  Now  bid  her,  ever  so  little,  to  beg  and  entreat  them 
of  me. 

Phil,  (to  Libanus).  Do  you  wish  me  to  begin  with  ca- 
ressing, or  with  kissing  you  ? 

Lib.  Why,  really,  with  them  both.  Phil.  And  do  you 
then,  I  do  entreat  yDu,  prove  the  saving  of  us  both. 


512  asiwaria;  Act  ITT. 

A eg.  0  Libanus,  my  patron,  do  give  me  that ;  'tis  more 
becoming  for  the  freed-man1,  than  for  the  patron,  tc  he 
carrying  a  burden  in  the  street. 

Phil.  My  Libanus,  golden  apple  of  my  eye,  the  gift  ana 
the  very  grace  of  love ;  there's  a  dear,  whatever  you  wish, 
I'll  do ;  prithee,  do  give  us  that  money. 

Lib.  Call  me,  then,  your  little  duck,  dove,  or  your  pup- 
pet ;  your  swallow,  jackdaw,  little  sparrow,  your  mannikin  : 
make  of  me  the  reptile  that  crawls,  so  that  I  may  have 
a  double  tongue2  ;  enfold  me  in  your  arms,  and  embrace  my 
neck. 

Aeg.  She,  embrace  you,  villain  ?  Lib.  Really,  how  un- 
deserving I  do  seem.  Tou  shan't  for  no  purpose  have 
uttered  a  speech  so  unseemly  against  me.  By  my  troth,  if 
indeed  you  expect  to  get  this  money,  this  day  you  shall  carry 
myself  on  your  shoulders. 

Abg.  What  f  I,  carry  you  ?  Lib.  Otherwise,  you  shan't 
get  this  money  from  me. 

Aeg.  Heavens,  I'm  undone !  Still,  if  indeed  it  is  de- 
corous for  the  master  to  carry  the  servant,  mount. 

Lib.  In  this  way  are  proud  people  wont  to  be  tamed. 
Stand  still  then,  just  as  you  were  wont  to  do  when  formerly 
a  boy3.  Do  you  understand  what  I  say?  {He  prepares  to 
get  upon  the  shoulders  o/Argybipptjs.)  Aye — so — move  on : 
I  praise  you  much  ;  not  any  horse  is  there  more  clever  than 
yourself  as  a  horse. 

Abg.  {while  stooping).  Get  on,  directly.  Lib.  I'll  do  so. 
(He  yets  on.)  Hallo  ! — what's  the  matter  ?  How  are  you 
going  ?  By  my  troth,  I'll  deprive  you  of  your  barley  then, 
if  you  don't  amble4,  lifting  up  your  feet. 

Aeg.   Prithee,  Libanus,  there's  enough  now. 

Lib.   Never  this  day,  by  my  troth,  shall  you  get  anything 

1  For  the  freed-man) — Ver.  694.  By  "  libertus,"  or  "  freed-man,"  .lie  means 
himself,  while  Libanus  is  his  "  patronus,"  or  "  patron." 

2  A  double  tongue) — Ver.  699.  An  unseemly  allusion  is  intended  in  this  ex- 
pression. 

3  When  formerly  a  boy) — Ver.  707.  "  Honi  soit  qui  mal  y  pense"  should  be  said 
to  Lambinus  and  the  other  Commentators  wo  have  imagined  an  indelicate  allusion 
to  be  couched  under  these  words.  He  clearly  alludes  to  the  boyish  game  of  leap- 
frog, at  which  they  had  in  childhood  been  accustomed  "  to  make  a  back." 

*  [f  you  don't  amble) — Ver.  710.  "  Badizas."  This  is  an  adaptation  cf  th. 
4ireek  verb  /3aSi'£«,  "  to  go." 


Sc.  III.  OB,  THE  ASS-DEALEE.  51ii 

by  entreaty.  For  now  up  hill  with  the  spur  will  I  push  on  my 
steed.  After  that,  I'll  deliver  you  to  the  millers,  that  there 
you  may  be  tortured  as  you  run1.  Stand  still,  that  I  may 
now  at  once  get  down  for  the  hill,  although  you  are  but  a  bad 
one.     (Gets  off  his  shoulders.) 

Aeg.  Well  now — since  you've  both  made  fun  of  me  just  as 
you  liked,  are  you  going  to  give  the  money  ? 

Lib.  Why,  yes,  if,  indeed,  you  erect  to  me  a  statue  and  an 
altar,  and  then  sacrifice  an  ox  to  me  here  as  though  to  a  God ; 
for  I  am  the  Divinity  Salvation  to  you. 

Leon.  Nay,  but,  master,  do  you  betake  yourself  away  from 
him,  and  do  you  come  to  me.  And,  what  he  has  demanded  for 
himself,  will  you  erect  a  statue  for  me,  and  offer  prayers  to  me? 

Aug.  But  what  Divinity  am  I  to  call  you  ? 

Leon.  Fortune,  and  that  the  Propitious  one2.  Aeg.  Tou 
are  better  than  he  then. 

Lib.  Why,  is  there  ever  anything  better  for  a  man  than 
Salvation  ? 

Aeg.  Though  I  praise  Fortune,  still,  not  to  speak  in  dis- 
praise of  the  Divinity  Salvation 

Phil.  By  the  powers,  but  they  are  good,  both  of  them. 

Aeg.  I  shall  know  it,  when  they  have  conferred  anything 
that's  good. 

Leon.  Wish  for  that  which  you  desire  to  befall  you. 

Aeg.  What  if  I  do  wish  it  ?     Leon.  It  shall  come  to  pass. 

Aeg.  I  wish  for  her  to  be  devoted  to  me  alone  this  whole 
year  round. 

Leon.  Tou  have  obtained  it.     Aeg.  Do  you  really  say  so  ? 

Leon.  I  do  say  so  for  certain.  Lib.  Come  to  me,  in  my 
turn,  and  make  trial :  wish  ardently  for  that  which  you 
especially  desire  to  happen  to  you ;  it  shall  be  done. 

Aeg.  What  other  thing  could  I  ardently  wish  for  rather 
than  that  of  which  I  am  in  want  ?  Oblige  me  with  twenty 
silver  minae  to  give  to  her  mother. 

Lib.  They  shall  be  given :  take  care  and  be  of  good  courage, 
your  wishes  shall  be  fulfilled. 

Aeg.  Just  as  they  are  wont,  Salvation  and  Fortune  are 
deceiving  mortals. 

1  Tortured  as  you  run) — Ver.  715.  He  alludes  to  the  occupation  of  asses  aa.i 
worn-out  horses  in  grinding  at  the  corn-mill. 

8  And  that  the  Propitious  one) — Ver.  720.  "  Fortuna  Obsequens,"  or  M  Pro- 
pitious Fortune,"  haJ  a  Temple  at  Rome. 
2  L 


&14  AS1NARIA;  Ic'j  IV, 

.  Leon.  I  this  day  have  been  the  head  in  finding  this  money 
for  you. 

Lib.  I  have  been  the  foot.  Arg.  Why,  neither  head  nor 
foot  of  your  talking  is  visible ;  I  can  understand  neither  what 
you  mean,  nor  why  you  are  trifling  with  me. 

Lib.  I  think  that  now  you've  been  teased  enough ;  now 
let's  disclose  the  matter  as  it  really  stands.  Grive  your  atten- 
tion, Argyrippus,  if  you  please.  Tour  father  has  ordered  us 
to  bring  this  money  to  you. 

Arg.  How  very  a  propos  and  opportunely  you  have 
brought  it. 

Lib.  {giving  him  the  bag).  Here,  in  this,  there  will  be  twenty 
good  minae,  obtained  by  bad  means :  these,  on  certain  condi- 
tions, he  bade  us  give  you. 

Arg.  Prithee,  what  are  they  ?  Lib.  That  you  would  grant 
him  her  favours  and  an  entertainment. 

Arg.  Bid  him  come,  I  beg.  For  him  who  deserves  it  right 
well,  we'll  do  what  he  wishes,  him  who  has  brought  these 
scattered  loves  of  ours  to  a  happy  result. 

Leon.  You'll  permit  your  father  then,  Argyrippus,  to  caress 
her? 

Abgl  She,  by  being  restored  to  me,  will  easily  cause  me  to 
permit  it.  Prithee,  Leonida,  run,  and  beg  my  father  to  come 
here.     Lib.  He  has  been  in  the  house  some  time. 

Arg.  He  hasn't  come  this  way,  at  all  events. 

Lib.  (pointing  to  the  back  way).  He  came  round  that  way1 
by  the  lane,  through  the  garden,  lest  any  one  of  his  friends 
should  see  him  coming  here ;  he's  afraid  that  his  wife  may 
come  to  know  of  it.  If  your  mother  knew  about  the  money, 
how  it  was  obtained 

Arg.  Well,  well — do  use  words  of  good  omen2  ;  go  in-doors 
quickly,  farewell. 

Leon.  And  you  two,  love  on.  (He  and  Libanus  go  into 
the  house  of  Demjsnetus  ;  Argyrippus  and  Philenium  into 
that  of  Cle^reta.) 

Act  IV. — Scene  I. 
Enter  Diabolus  and  a  Parasite,  with  a  scroll  in  his  hand. 
Diab.  Come  now,  show  me  this  agreement  that  you've 

1  Came  round  that  icay) — Ver.  746.  Well  he  might ! 

2  Use  words  of  good  omen) — Ver.  749.  "  Benedicite."  This  was  a  form  made 
rj»e  of  for  the  purpose  of  averting  bad  omens. 


Sc.  1.  OE,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  515 

written  out  between  myself  and  the  procuress.  Read  over 
the  conditions  ;  for  you  are  a  quite  unique  composer1  in  such 
matters. 

Par.  I'll  make  the  procuress  be  terrified  when  she  hears 
the  conditions. 

Diab.  Troth  now,  prithee,  proceed  and  read  them  over 
to  me. 

Par.  Are  you  attending  ?     Diab.  I'm  all  attention. 

Par.  {reads  the  agreement).  "  Diabolus,  the  son  of  Glaucus, 
has  made  a  present  to  Clesereta,  the  procuress,  of  twenty 
silver  minae,  that  Philenium  may  be  with  him  night  and  day 
for  this  whole  year." 

Diab.  Yes,  and  not  with  any  other  person. 

Par.  Am  I  to  add  that  ?  Diab.  Add  it,  and  take  care 
and  write  it  plainly  and  distinctly. 

Par.  (writes  it  down,  and  then  reads).  "  And  not  admit  any 
other  man  whatever,  because  either  her  friend  or  her  patron, 
she  may  choose  to  call  him " 

Diab.  Not  any  one !  Par.  "  Or  because  she  may  say  that 
he  is  the  lover  of  a  female  friend  of  hers.  The  door  must  be 
closed  to  all  men  except  to  yourself.  On  the  door  she  must 
write  that  she  is  engaged.  Or,  because  she  may  affirm  that  the 
letter  has  been  brought  from  abroad,  there  is  not  to  be  even 
any  letter  in  the  house,  nor  so  much  as  a  waxed  tablet ;  and  if 
there  is  any  useless  picture2,  let  her  sell  it ;  if  she  does  not  part 
with  it,  within  four  days  from  the  time  when  she  has  received 
the  money  of  you,  let  it  be  considered  as  your  own  ;  you  to  burn 
it  if'  you  like ;  so  that  she  may  have  no  wax,  with  which  she 
may  be  able  to  make  a  letter.  She  is  to  invite  no  guest ;  you 
are  to  invite  them.    On  no  one  of  them  is  she  to  cast  her  eyes  : 

1  A  quite  unique  composer) — Ver.  752.  "  Poeta"  is  here  used  in  the  primary 
sense  of  the  word,  from  the  Greek  TroirjTrfi,  "a  maker,"  "artist,"  or  "con- 
triver." 

2  Any  useless  picture)  —  Ver.  768.  Some  of  the  Commentators  have  sup- 
posed that  indecent  or  immodest  pictures  are  here  meant.  Such  is  not  the 
fact.  Portraits  were  taken  among  the  Romans  in  profile,  in  wax,  which  was 
laid  on  a  plane  surface ;  and  probably  other  pictures  were  similarly  con- 
structed. In  his  jealousy,  Diabolus  will  not  allow  Philenium  to  keep  any  useless 
or  valueless  picture,  for  fear  lest  she  may  melt  it,  to  use  the  wax  for  tablets,  &* 
a  medium  of  correspondence  with  a  paramour.  To  a  portrait  of  this  klild,  Lao- 
damia  probably  refers  in  her  Epistle  to  Protesilaus,  in  the  Heroides  of  Ovid,  1. 133 ; 
"  But  while  as  a  warrior  thou  shalt  be  wielding  arms  in  a  distant  region,  1  have 
e  waxen  figure  which  represents  thy  features." 

2l2 


516  asinaria;  Act  TV. 

if  she  looks  upon  any  other  person,  she  must  be  blind  forth- 
with1. Then  she  is  to  drink  cup  by  cup  equally  with  yourself. 
She  is  to  receive  it  from  you  ;  she  is  to  hand  it  to  you  for  you 
to  drink.  She  is  not  to  hare  a  relish  for  less  or  for  more 
than  yourself." 

Diab.  That's  quite  to  my  taste. 

Par.  {readino).  "  She  is  to  remove  all  causes  of  suspicion 
from  her,  nor  is  she  to  tread  on  any  man's  foot3  with  her  foot ; 
when  she  rises  she  is  neither  to  step  upon  the  next  couch,  nor 
when  she  gets  down /row  the  couch  is  she  thence  to  extend  her 
hand  to  any  one ;  she  is  not  to  give  to  nor  ask  of  any  one  a 
ring  for  her  to  look  at ;  she  is  not  to  present  dice  to  any  man 
whatever  except  to  yourself;  when  she  throws3  them,  she  is 
not  to  say,  'You  I  call  upon,*  she  is  to  mention  your  name. 
She  may  call  on  any  Goddess  that  she  pleases  as  propitious  to 
her,  but  on  no  God :  if  she  should  chance  to  be  very  full  of 
devotion,  she  is  to  tell  you,  and  you  are  to  pray  to  him  that  he 
may  be  propitious.  She  is  neither  to  nod  at  any  man,  wink, 
or  make  a  sign.  In  fine,  if  the  lamp  goes  out,  she  is  not  to 
move  a  single  joint  of  herself  in  the  dark." 

Diab.  That's  very  good ;  so,  in  fact,  she  must  do :  but  ex- 
punge that  about  the  chamber ;  for  my  part,  I  prefer  that  she 
should  move.  I  don't  wish  her  to  have  an  excuse,  and  to  say 
'that  it  is  forbidden  her  by  her  vow. 

Par.  I  understand,  you  fear  some  quibble.    Diab.  Just;  so. 

Par.  Then  as  you  bid  me,  I'll  strike  it  out.     {Erases  it.) 

Diab.  And  why  not  ?     Par.  Hear  the  rest. 

Diab.  Say  on,  I'm  listening. 

Par.  {goes  on  reading).  "And  she  is  not  to  use  any  shuffling 
words,  nor  is  she  to  know  how  to  speak  in  any  tongue  but 
the  Attic.  If  perchance  she  should  begin  to  cough,  she  is 
not  to  cough  so  as  to  expose  her  tongue  to  any  one  in  cough- 
ing.    But  if  she  should  pretend  as  though  she  had  a  running 

1  Must  he  Uindforthwith)—Ver.  775.  This  is  proHbly  a  polite  way  of  saying, 
M  Let  her  leave  the  room  forthwith." 

2  Tread  on  any  man's  foot) — Ver.  780.  From  passages  in  Ovid's  Amours  and 
Art  of  Love,  we  learn  that  this  was  a  favourite  method  of  communication  by  in- 
triguing parties. 

*  When  she  throws) — Ver.  785.  When  throwing  the  dice,  it  was  the  custom  to 
Invoke  some  favourite  object,  which  was  thought  to  bring  good  luck  to  the 
Ihrower.  See  the  Notes  to  the  Captivi,  Act  I.,  Sc.  1.  She  is  not  to  say,  "  You  I 
invoke,"  lest,  by  the  ambiguity,  it  should  be  intended  to  apply  to  another  man, 
'.nd  not  to  her  protector 


Sc.  I.  OK,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  517 

at  the  nose1,  even  then  she  is  not  to  do  so  ;  you  yourself  must 
wipe  her  lips,  rather  than  that  she  should  open  her  mouth 
before  another  person.  And  her  mother,  the  procuress,  is 
not  to  come  in  in  the  middle  of  the  wine,  nor  is  she  to  utter 
a  word  of  abuse  to  any  one ;  if  she  does  so  speak,  let  this  be 
her  fine,  to  go  for  twenty  days  without  wine." 

Diab.  You  have  written  it  nicely  ;  a  clever  agreement. 

Par.  "  Then,  if  she  bids  her  maid-servant  carry  chaplets, 
garlands,  or  unguents,  to  Venus  or  to  Cupid,  your  servant  is 
to  watch  whether  she  gives  them  to  Venus  or  to  a  man. 
If  perchance  she  should  say  she  wishes  to  keep  herself  in 
purity2,  let  her  account  for  as  many  nights  as  she  has  kept 
herself  in  purity.  These  are  no  trifles ;  for  they  are  no 
funeral  dirge3." 

Diab.  The  conditions  please  me  entirely;  follow  me  in- 
doors.    Par.  I  follow.  {They  go  into  the  house  of  'Cli^reta. 

Act  V4. — Scene  I. 
Enter  Diabolus  and  the  Parasite. 
Diab.  Follow  this  way.  Am  I  to  put  up  with  this,  or 
shall  I  hold  my  tongue  ?  I  would  rather  die  than  not  dis- 
cover this  to  his  wife.  And  say  you  so,  old  man  ?  With  a 
mistress  would  you  be  acting  the  part  of  a  youngster  ? 
Would  you  be  excusing  yourself  to  your  wife,  and  calling 
yourself  an  aged  man  ?  Would  you  be  taking  the  mistress 
from  her  lover  ?  And  would  you  be  presenting  the  money  to 
the  procuress,  and  be  secretly  pilfering  it  from  your  wife  at 
home  ?  Tou  should  hang  me,  rather  than  you  should  carry 
off  these  matters   undiscovered.     On  my  honor,  I'll  really 

A  running  at  the  nose) — Ver.  801.  The  meaning  seems  to  be,  that  if  her 
nose  runs  by  reason  of  a  catarrh,  she  is  not  to  open  her  month  to  put  her  tongue 
out,  but  that  Diabolus  is,  in  common  parlance,  to  wipe  her  nose  for  her. 

2  Keep  herself  in  purity) — Ver.  81  J.  He  probably  alludes  to  the  festival  of 
Isis  or  Ceres,  on  which  occasion  it  was  usual  for  the  female  votaries  rigidly  to 
separate  themselves  from  the  society  of  men.  The  translation  of  the  next  line  is 
somewhat  modified. 

3  No  funeral  dirge) — Ver.  813.  "Mortualia"  were  the  songs  which  hired 
female  mourners  sang  at  funerals;  and  which,  as  being  especially  worthless,  were 
pre-eminently  called  "  nugae,"  or  "  trifles." 

*  Act  V.)  One  scene,  at  least,  is  clearly  lost  here,  as  we  are  not  informed  how 
Diabolus  has  become  acquainted  with  the  manoeuvres  to  obtain  the  money 
and  the  disgraceful  compact  made  by  Demaenetus;  although,  not  improbably,  h? 

5  caught  sight  of  him  in  the  house  of  the  procuress. 


518  asinaria;  Act  Y. 

go  this  instant  hence  to  her  whom  I'm  sure  that  you'll  very- 
soon  be  destroying,  in  order  that  you  may  be  able  to  supply 
your  extravagance,  unless,  indeed,  she  shall  first  prevent  you. 

Par.  I'm  of  opinion  that  thus  you  must  act.  'Tis  more 
becoming  that  I  should  disclose  this  matter,  rather  than 
yourself,  lest  she  may  think  that  you,  excited  by  reason  of 
love,  rather  than  for  her  own  sake,  have  acted  thus. 

Diab.  Why,  faith,  you  say  what's  right.  Do  you  then 
contrive  to  raise  a  storm  and  strife  against  him,  that  he,  to- 
gether with  his  own  son,  is  carousing  with  one  mistress  the 
livelong  day,  and  that  he's  secretly  pilfering  from  her. 

Par.  Don't  suggest  to  me.     I'll  take  care  of  that. 

Diab.  But  I'll  wait  for  you  at  home.  (Exit  Diaboltjs  ; 
the  Parasite  goes  into  the  house  o/Dem^netus.) 

Scene  II. — A  Table,  and  everything  requisite  for  an  Enter- 
tainment, being  placed   before    the    house  of  Cle^reta, 

enter  Argyripptjs,  Dem^netus,  and  Philenittm,  from 

the  house  of  Cle^reta. 

Arg.  Come  then,  father,  let's  take  our  places,  please. 

Dem.  As  you  bid  me,  my  son,  so  it  shall  be. 

Arg.  (to  ^Attendants).  Lads,  spread  the  table. 

Dem.  Is  it  at  all  displeasing  to  you,  son,  if  she  takes  her 
place  by  me?     (They  take  their  places.) 

Arg.  Duty,  father,  keeps  sorrow  from  my  eyes ;  although 
I  love  her,  still  I  can  control  my  feelings,  not  to  take  it  to 
heart  because  she  takes  her  place  by  you. 

Dem.  It  becomes  a  young  man  to  be  respectful,  Argyrippus. 

Arg.  Troth,  father,  through  proper  regard  for  you,  I  can 
be  so. 

Dem.  Come,  then,  let's  enjoy  this  banquet  with  wine  and 
pleasant  discourse.  I  don't  wish  to  be  feared,  I  prefer  my- 
self to  be  loved  by  you,  my  son. 

Arg.  In  truth,  I  do  them  both,  as  is  proper  for  a  son. 

Dem.  I'd  believe  it,  if  I  saw  you  were  cheerful. 

Arg.  "Why,  do  you  think  that  I'm  sorrowful  ? 

Dem.  Do  I  think  so  ?  You,  whom  I  see  as  melancholy  as 
if  the  day1  of  trial  had  been  named  for  you. 

Arg.  Don't  you  say  that.  Dem.  Don't  you  be  so,  then 
I'll  not  say  so. 

1  As  iftlie  day) — Ver.  8 15.  He  probably  means  the  day  for  coming  up  for  judg- 
ment, or  else  for  trial. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  519 

Arg.  Well  then,  look  at  me ;  I'm  laughing.  {He  affects 
to  laugh.) 

Dem.  I'd  like  that  those  who  wish  me  ill  would  laugh  thus. 

Arg.  I  know,  indeed,  father,  why  you  now  suppose  to 
yourself  that  I'm  sad ;  it  is  because  she  is  by  you.  And  really, 
father,  by  my  faith,  to  tell  you  the  truth,  that  matter  does 
hurt  me ;  and  not  for  this  reason,  that  I  don't  desire  for  you 
that  which  you  wish,  but  because  I  love  her ;  another  woman, 
indeed,  I  could  easily  endure  to  be  by  you. 

Dem.  But  I  have  a  fancy  for  this  one. 

Arg.  Then  you  have  what  you  desire  ;  for  myself,  I  wish 
for  what  I  could  desire. 

Dem.  Submit  to  it  this  one  day,  since  I've  given  you  the 
power  to  be  with  her  for  a  year,  and  have  procured  for  you 
the  command  of  money  in  your  amour. 

Arg.  "Well,  by  doing  that,  you  have  laid  me  under  aii 
obligation  to  you. 

Dem.  Why  then  don't  you  show  yourself  cheerful  to  me  ? 
{Tfiey  commence  the  banquet,  Philenitjm  reclining  below  De- 

M2ENETUS.) 

Scene  III1. — Enter  Artemona  and  the  Parasite,  from  the 
house  o/'Dem^netus,  at  the  further  side  of  the  stage. 

Art.  Prithee,  do  you  say  that  my  husband  is  carousing 
here,  together  with  my  son  ? — and  that  he  has  carried  to  his 
mistress  twenty  minae  of  silver  P — and  that,  with  the  know- 
ledge of  my  son,  his  father  is  perpetrating  this  wickedness  ? 

Par.  Trust  me  in  nothing  henceforth,  either  divine  or 
human,  Artemona,  if  you  find  me  untruthful  in  this  matter. 

Art.  Wretched  then  am  I,  who  have  supposed  that,  be- 
yond others,  my  husband  was  sober,  decent,  chaste,  and  espe- 
cially fond  of  his  wife. 

Par.  But  now,  henceforth,  understand  that  he,  before  all 
men,  is  a  person  of  the  smallest  worth — a  drunkard,  a  good- 
for-nothing  fellow,  unchaste,  and  a  contemner  of  his  own  wife. 

1  Scene  III.) — In  the  early  part  of  this  Scene,  the  wife  and  the  Parasite  do  not 
see  Demaenetus,  who  is  carousing  in  the  front  of  Clesereta's  house,  at  the  other 
side  of  the  stage.  We  must  remember  that  the  Roman  stage  was  of  vast  extent 
— as  much,  according  to  some  writers,  as  180  feet  in  width.  Perhaps  a  wal. 
extended  a  little  forward  by  the  side  of  the  house,  which  would  preclude  the  \iew 
of  what  was  going  on  behind  it  and  near  to  the  door,  until  Artemona  and  tb« 
Parasite  had  traversed  the  stage. 


520  asinaria  ;  Act  V. 

Art.  I'  faith,  if  this  wasn't  true,  he  would  ueverbe  doing 
the  things  that  he  is  now  doing. 

Par.  Upon  my  word,  I  too  always  hitherto  took  him  to  be 
a  decent  person ;  but  by  this  action  he  declares  himself, — to 
be  carousing,  indeed,  together  with  his  son,  and,  a  decrepit 
old  man,  toying  with  a  mistress  in  his  company. 

Art.  For  this  it  is,  i'  faith,  that  he's  going  out  to  dinner 
everyday.  He  says  that  he's  going  to  Archidemus,  Chereas, 
Chserestratus,  Clinius,  Chremes,  Cratinus,  Dinias,  Demos- 
thenes :  while  he's  thinking  of  debauchery,  and  public  dens 
of  infamy  with  his  harlot. 

Par.  Why  don't  you  bid  your  maid-servants  carry  him  off 
home  upon  their  shoulders  ? 

Art.  Do  you  only  be  quiet.  By  my  troth,  I'll  surely  give 
him  some  trouble. 

Par.  I'm  sure  of  it,  that  so  it  will  befall  him,  so  long, 
indeed,  as  you  shall  continue  married  to  him. 

Art.  I  was  fancying  that  this  fellow  was  still  giving  at- 
tendance either  in  the  senate  or  to  his  dependants  :  that  for 
that  reason  it  was,  that,  worn  out  with  fatigue,  he  snored  the 
whole  night  through.  "Wearied  with  his  labours  out  of  doors 
he  comes  home  at  night.  Another's  farm  he  ploughs,  his  own 
he  leaves  untilled.  Both  he  himself  is  corrupted,  and  he  cor- 
rupts his  son  as  well. 

Par.  Do  you  only  follow  me  this  way,  I'll  make  you  just 
now  to  fall  upon  the  man  himself  in  the  very  fact. 

Art.  By  heaven,  there's  nothing  that  I  could  more  wish  for. 

Par.  Just  stop  there.  {He  moves  stealthily  forward,  and 
examines  the  other  side  of  the  stage.) 

Art.  What's  the  matter?  P Ar.  (returning  to  her).  If 
perchance  you  were  to  see  your  husband  reclining,  if  you  be- 
held bi.?j  with  a  garland  on,  caressing  a  mistress,  could  you 
recognize  him  ? 

Art.  I'  troth,  I  could.  Par.  ('points  to  the  other  end  oj 
the  stage).  Then  there's  your  man. 

Art.  {moving  stealthily  forward  with  the  Parasite).  I'm 
undone. 

Par.  Stay  a  little.  Let's  observe  in  private,  from  ambush, 
what  business  they  are  about. 

Arg.  What  end  will  you  put  to  your  caresses,  father  ? 

Dem.  I  confess,  my  son Arg.  What  do  you  confess  ? 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  521 

Dem.  That  I'm  utterly  undone  with  love  for  her. 

Par.   (to  Artemona).  Do  you  hear  what  he  says  ? 

Art.   I  hear. 

Dem.  (to  Philenium).  Ought  I  not  to  filch  the  mantle 
from  my  wife  at  home,  which  she  is  so  fond  of,  and  bring  it  to 
you  ?  Though  my  wife's  life  should  last  a  whole  year  in  con- 
sequence, by  my  troth  I  could  not  be  dissuaded  from  doing  so. 

Par.  (to  Artemona).  Do  you  suppose  that  he  has  been 
accustomed  to  frequent  a  brothel  to-day  for  the  first  time  ? 

Art.  Upon  my  faith,  it  was  he  that  was  pilfering  me  ; 
whereas  I  was  suspecting  my  maid-servants,  and  was  torment- 
ing the  wretched  creatures  who  were  innocent  all  the  while. 

Arg.  Father,  bid  him  pour  out  some  wine ;  'tis  a  long 
time  since  ]  drank  first1. 

Dem.  (to  the  Servant).  Begin,  boy,  from  the  top2.  (To 
Philenium).  Come,  do  you  meanwhile  from  below  give  me 
a  kiss.     (Kisses  her.) 

Art.  (to  the  Parasite).  Wretch  that  I  am,  I'm  undone! 
How  the  villain,  the  garnishing  of  a  bier3,  is  kissing  away. 

Dem.  A  breath,  by  my  faith,  somewhat  sweeter  than  that 
of  my  wife. 

Phil.  Tell  me,  there's  a  dear,  does  the  breath  of  your  wife 
smell  bad  ? 

Dem.  I'd  prefer  to  drink  bilge-water,  if  it  were  necessary, 
rather  than  kiss  her. 

Art.  (apart).  By  heavens,  you  are  a  wretch.  Par.  (apart). 
T  faith,  he's  deserving  so  to  be. 

Arg.  How  say  you,  father  ?  (Takes  a  draught  in  the  mean- 
while^ 

Art.  (apart).  Aye,  pray,  how  say  you  ?  By  my  troth,  to 
your  own  great  detriment,  you've  surely  said  that  against 
me.    Never  mind ;  only  do  you  come  home,  I'll  let  you  know 

1  Since  I  drank  first) — Ver.  896.  They  probably  took  the  first  draught  each  in 
his  turn.  Argyrippus  tells  his  father  that  he  is  dry,  and  that  it  is  a  long  time 
since  he  had  the  first  draught. 

2  From  the  top) — Ver.  897.  We  are  to  suppose  that  the  three  are  reclining  on 
one  "  triclinium,"  or  couch.  Argyrippus  lies  at  the  top,  his  father  below  him, 
and  Philenium  the  lowest,  with  her  head  reclining  on  the  old  man's  breast. 

1  Of  a  bier) — Ver.  898.  "Capulus"  was  another  name  of  the  "lectica"  or 
*  feretrum,"  on  which  the  corpse  was  carried  to  the  funeral  pile.  In  the  case  of 
rich  people,  the  u  capuli"  were  sometimes  made  of  ivory,  and  covered  with  goM 
and  purple. 


522  j&sitfAMA  ;  Act  V. 

what  danger  there  is  in  speaking  abusively  against  a  wife 
with  a  dowry. 

Arg.  Don't  you  love  my  mother  ? 

Dem.  "Who — I?  I  love  her  just  now,  because  she  isn't 
present. 

Arg.  How,  when  she  is  present  ? 

Dem.  Then,  I  wish  she  was  dead.  Par.  {apart  to  Arte- 
mona).   This  fellow  is  fond  of  you,  according  to  what  he  says. 

Art.  On  my  word,  he's  surely  laying  out  all  this  at 
interest ;  for  if,  this  day,  he  returns  home,  I'll  especially 
have  my  revenge  in  kissing  him. 

Arg.  {handing  the  dice-box).  Father,  throw  the  dice  ;  that 
afterwards  I  may  have  a  throw. 

Dem.  By  all  means.  You,  Philenium,  for  myself,  and  death 
for  my  wife.  {He  throws.)  'Tis  Venus's  cast1.  Lads,  clap 
your  hands,  and  give  me  some  honeyed  wTine  in  my  cup,  in 
honor  of  my  throw. 

Art.  {apart).  I  can  hold  out  no  longer. 

Par.  {apart).  If  you  haven't  learned  the  fulling  trade3,  it's 
not  to  be  wondered  at ;  now  it's  quite  fitting  for  you  to  beset 
his  eyes.     {They  make  their  appearance  before  the  revellers.) 

Art.  By  heavens,  I  will  live,  and  you  this  day  have  made 
that  invocation  to  your  own  great  misfortune. 

Par.  Will  some  one  run  to  fetch  the  undertaker3  ? 

1  Vends'g  cast) — Ver.  91 1.  "  Venereus  jactus  "  was  the  best  throw  on  the  set  of 
four  "  tali,"  or  knuckle-bone  dice,  used  by  the  ancients.  It  is  supposed  to  have 
been  a  combination  of  the  numbers,  the  sum  of  which  was  fourteen.  When 
trying  to  throw  the  "  Venereus  jactus,"  it  was  usual  to  mention  the  name  of  the 
mistress  of  the  thrower ;  and  Demsenetus  throws  in  "  death  to  his  wife,"  by  way  of 
supplement.  From  the  next  line,  he  appears  to  have  been  successful  in  his 
throw. 

"  Haven't  learned  the  fulling  trade) — Ver.  913.  He  intends  a  pun  here  upon  the 
word  " durare,"  which  meant  either  "  to  endure,"  "bear,"  or  "hold  out;"  as 
also  "  to  full,"  "  harden,"  or  "  thicken  cloth,"  by  the  fuller's  art.  Artemona  says 
that  she  cannot "  durare  "  in  the  first  sense ;  on  which  the  Parasite  quibbles,  and 
says,  "  Because  you  have  not  learnt  the  fulling  art."  In  the  next  line  also  a  play 
upon  words  is  intended,  as  "  invadi  in  oculos  "  may  mean  either  "  present  yourself 
before  his  eyes  "  or  "  attack  his  eyes,"  and  claw  them  out.  No  doubt  the 
Parasite  would  have  relished  the  fun,  if  she  had  taken  his  advice  in  the  latter 
sense. 

3  The  undertaker) — Ver.  916.  The  "  pollinctores  "  were  slaves,  who  belonged 
to  the  "  libitinarii,"  or  "  undertakers,"  and  whose  duty  it  was  to  anoint  the  body 
with  oil  and  perfumes  before  it  was  burnt. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  ASS-DEALER.  523 

Arg.  Health  to  you,  mother.  Art.  Health  indeed  after 
this  fashion ! 

Par.  {aside).  Demametus  is  dead.  "lis  time  to  betake 
myself  hence :  this  battle  bravely  waxes  hot.  I'll  be  off  to 
Diabolus.  I'll  tell  him  his  orders  are  performed  as  he  de- 
sired them ;  and  in  the  meantime  I'll  persuade  him  that  we 
should  take  a  meal,  while  these  people  are  squabbling. 
Afterwards,  in  fine,  I'll  bring  him  here  to-morrow,  to  the 
procuress,  that  he  may  give  her  the  twenty  minae,  that,  in  his 
turn,  he  in  his  passion  may  be  enabled  to  obtain  this  damsel. 
I  hope  that  Argyrippus  will  be  able  to  be  prevailed  upon  to 
allow  him  to  pass  each  alternate  night  with  him  in  her  com- 
pany; for,  unless  I  obtain  that,  I've  lost  my  patron1;  so 
great  is  the  passion  of  the  man  by  reason  of  his  love.  {Me 
quietly  withdraws.) 

Art.  {addressing  Philenittm).  "What  business  have  you 
to  give  a  retreat  here  in  your  house  to  my  husband  ? 

Phil.  Troth,  he  really  will  this  day  be  the  death  of 
wretched  me,  through  sheer  disgust. 

Art.  {to  Dem^netus)  .  Rise,  wencher,  be  off  home. 

Dem.  I'm  undone.  Art.  Tes,  you  are2 ;  don't,  i'  faith, 
gainsay  it,  you  most  vile  of  all  men.  "Why,  the  cuckoo's 
still  on  his  nest3.     Eise,  wencher,  be  off  home. 

Dem.  Woe  to  me !  Art.  You  prophesy  correctly.  Eise, 
wencher,  be  off  home. 

Dem.  Step  a  little  this  way  then. 

Art.  Eise,  wencher,  be  off  home.  Dem.  Now,  prithee, 
wife 

Art.  Do  you  remember  now  that  I'm  your  wife  ?  It  was 
but  just  now,  when  you  were  heaping  abuse  upon  me,  that 
I  wasn't  your  wife. 

Dem.  I'm  utterly  ruined.  Art.  Why,  pray  ?  Does 
the  breath  of  your  wife  smell  strong  ? 

Dem.  It  smells  of  myrrh.  Art.  Have  you  filched  my 
mantle  then  to  be  giving  to  your  harlot  ? 

1  My  patron)— Ver.  925.  "Regem."  Literally,  "my  king;"  the  name  which 
Parasites  bestowed  upon  their  patrons. 

2  Yes,  you  are) — Ver.  928.  He  says,  "  nullus  sum,"  in  the  sense  of  "  I'm  un- 
done;" but  she  chooses  to  take  it  as  though  he  had  meant  "lama  worthless 
fellow,"  which  meaning  these  words  are  capable  of  bearing. 

3  Cuckoo's  still  on  his  nest)— Ver.  929.  The  cuckoo  takes  possession  of  the 
nests  of  other  birds,  and  lays  its  eggs  there.  Artemona  probably  alludes  to  that 
fact,  on  seeing  her  husband  under  such  disgraceful  circumstances. 


•524  asinaria.  Act  V 

Arg.  By  the  powers — what,  did  lie  promise  that  he  would 
filch  your  mantle  ? 

Abt.  Won't  you  hold  your  tongue  ? 

Arg.  I  was  going  to  dissuade  him,  mother.  Art.  (to 
Argyrippus).  A  pretty  son!  (To  Dem^netus.)  Is  it 
proper  for  a  father  to  teach  these  morals  to  his  children  ? 
Are  you  ashamed  of  nothing  ? 

Dem.  I'  faith,  if  there's  nothing  else,  I'm  ashamed  of 
you,  wife. 

Art.  With  your  hoary  head,  your  wife  is  dragging  you, 
you  cuckoo,  from  dens  of  infamy. 

Dem.  The  dinner's  cooking  ;  mayn't  I  stop,  only  to  take 
my  dinner  ? 

Art.  Faith,  you'll  dine  to-day  on  a  heavy  mishap,  as  you 
deserve. 

Dem.  (rising).  I  shall  repose  but  uncomfortably  ;  my  wife 
is  taking  me  home  condemned. 

Arg.  I  told  you,  father,  not  to  devise  ill  against  my 
mother. 

Phil,  (to  Dem^nettjs).  Do  remember  about  the  mantle1, 
there's  a  dear. 

Dem.  (calls  out  to  Cle^ireta).  Won't  you  order  her  to 
go  away  from  here  ? 

Phil.  No,  I'll  go  in,  in  preference.  (To  Argtripptjs.) 
Follow  me  this  way,  my  life. 

Arg.  Yes,  I  follow.    Art.  (^oDem^netus).  Be  off  home. 

Phil,  (to  Dem^netus).  Do  give  me  a  kiss,  at  least,  be- 
fore you  go. 

Dem.  (to  Philenitjm).   Go  hang  yourself.         (Exeunt. 

The  Company  of  the  Comedians. 
If  this  old  fellow,  unknown  to  his  wife,  has  been  in  any 
way  indulging  his  own  inclinations,  he  has  been  doing  nothing 
new  or  wonderful,  or  otherwise  than  others  are  in  the  habit 
of  doing.  No  one  is  there  of  a  disposition  so  severe,  or  of  a 
temper  so  firm,  but  that  he  will  enjoy  himself  when  he  has 
any  opportunity.  Now  if  you  wish  to  interpose  in  behalf 
of  this  old  man,  so  that  he  be  not  punished,  we  think  that 
it  can  be  brought  about  if  you  give  us  loud  applause. 

1  A  bout  the  mantle) — Ver.  945.  This  she  says  by  way  of  a  farewell  banter  ta 
the  old  fellow,  whom  she  is  too  happy  to  get  rid  of. 


CURCULIO;   OR,  THE  FORGERY 


>  Servants  of  Phsedromus. 


Uramatts  ^trsonaf. 

Curculio,  the  Parasite  of  Phasdromus. 

Therapontigonus,  a  Captain  of  Caria. 

Ph^edromus,  a  young  man  in  love  with  Planesium. 

Palinurus, 

Cook, 

Lyco,  a  Banker. 

Cappadox,  a  Procurer. 

The  Choregus  (or,  Director  of  the  Chorus). 

An  Actor. 

Planesium,  a  young  woman  belonging  to  Cappadox. 
An  Old  Woman,  a  Procuress. 

Saexa.  — Kpidaurus,  in  Peloponnesus;  before  the  houses  of  PiJ.KDROMi/aar  i 
Cappaivox,  and  the  Temple  of  /Escnlapius. 


THE    SUBJECT. 


Ph^dkomus  is  desperately  in  love  with  Planesium,  who  is  in  the  possession  of 
Cappadox,  an  avaricious  Procurer.  Not  having  the  means  of  obtaining  her 
freedom,  Phsedromus  sends  Curculio,  his  Parasite,  to  Caria,  to  borrow  the 
money  from  a  friend.  The  friend  being  unable  to  lend  it,  Curculio  by  accident 
meets  a  military  officer,  named  Therapontigonus,  and  is  invited  by  him  to  dinner. 
The  Captain  accidentally  mentions  .to  him  that  lie  has  agieed  to  purchase  Plane- 
sium of  the  Procurer,  and  that  the  money  is  deposited  with  Lyco,  the  banker,  who 
has  been  ordered,  on  receiving  a  letter  signed  with  the  Captain's  signet,  to  have 
the  young  woman  delivered  to  the  bearer.  While  the  Captain  is  overpowered 
with  wine,  Curculio  steals  his  signet,  and  hastens  back  to  Epidaurus,  where  he 
forges  a  letter  by  means  of  it,  which  he  delivers  to  Lyco,  as  though  from  the 
Captain.  The  money  is  paid  to  the  Procurer,  and  Planesium  is  handed  over  to 
Curculio;  a  condition  having  been  previously  made,  that  if  she  should  turn  out  to 
be  a  free  woman  by  birth,  the  money  shall  be  repaid  to  the  purchaser.  Curculio 
then  delivers  Planesium  to  Phsedromus.  The  same  day,  the  Captain  arrives  at 
Epidaurus,  and  is  soon  after  i-ecogni?,ed  by  Planesium  as  her  brother,  through 
the  medium  of  the  ring,  which  had  belonged  to  her  father.  To  corroborate  her 
assertion,  Planesium  produces  another  ring,  which  Therapontigonus  had  pre- 
sented to  her  when  a  child  as  a  birthday  present.  On  this,  she  is  given  by  fcer 
orotner  in  marriage  to  Phaedromus;  and  Cappadcx,  much  against  his  will  13 
forced  to  refund  the  money  to  the  Captain. 


CURCULIO;  OR,  THE  FORGERY. 


THE  ACROSTIC  ARGUMENT. 
[Supposed  to  have  been  written  by  Priscian  the  Grammarian.] 
On  an  errand  of  Phaedromus,  Curculio  (Curculio)  goes  to  Caria,  that  (Z7<)  le 
may  obtain  some  money;  there  he  despoils  the  rival  (Rivalem)  of  Phcedro- 
mus  of  his  ring.  He  writes  a  letter,  and  seals  it  with  that  seal.  Lyco,  when 
he  sees  it,  recognizes  (Cognoscit)  the  seal  of  the  Captain;  that  (Ut)  he  may 
send  him  his  mistress,  he  pays  the  money  to  the  Procurer.  The  Captain 
threatens  to  summon  Lyco  {Lyconem)  and  the  Procurer  to  justice:  he  himself 
(Ipsus)  discovers  his  sibter  that  was  lost,  at  whose  request  (Oratu)  he  gives 
her  in  marriage  to  Phasdromus. 


Act  I. — Scene  I.     {Before  daybreak) 

Enter  at  one  side  of  the  stage  PhjEDRomtts,  with  a  lighted 
torch,  and  followed  7y  Slaves  with  wine  and  provisions  for 
an  entertainment,  and  Palintjrtjs  on  the  opposite  side. 

Pal.  Whither  away  must  I  say  that  you  are  going  out  of 
doors  at  this  time  o'  night,  Phaedromus,  with  that  dress  and 
with  this  train1  ? 

Ph>sd.  Whither  Yenus  and  Cupid  summon  me,  and  Love 
persuades  me ;  whether  'tis  the  midnight  or  whether  the 
earliest  twilight,  if  the  day  is  fixed2  for  pleading  your  cause 
with  your  antagonist,  still  must  you  go  where  they  com- 
mand you,  whether  you  will  or  no. 

Pal.  But  pray,  pray Ph^d.  Pray you  are  an- 
noying to  me. 

Pal.  Really  that  is  neither  pretty  nor  befitting  you  to 

1  And  with  this  train) — Ver.  2.  As  it  is  supposed  to  be  before  daybreak,  he  is 
holding  a  lighted  torch,  and  is  attended  by  a  train  of  slaves,  who  are  carrying 
wine  and  other  provisions  for  the  entertainment,  or  early  breakfast,  which  he  is 
about  to  give.     He  has  also  a  gay  dress  on  for  the  occasion. 

2  If  the  day  is  fixed) — Ver.  5.  "  Status  eondictus  dies."  This  term  properly 
applies  to  a  day  appointed  for  pleading  a  cause. 


528  curculio  ;  Act  L 

•ay.  You  are  your  own  servant1 ;  in  your  fine  garb  you  are 
showing  the  light  with  your  waxen  torch3. 

Ph^id.  And  ought  I  not  to  carry  that  which  is  gathered 
by  tbe  labour  of  the  little  bees — which  has  its  birth  in  sweets 
— to  my  own  sweet  one,  my  little  honey  ? 

Pal.  But  whither  must  I  say  that  you  are  going  ? 

Ph.ed.  If  you  ask  me  that,  I'll  tell,  so  that  you  may  know. 

Pal.  If  I  make  the  enquiry,  what  would  you  answer  me  ? 

Pn^iD.  This  is  the  Temple  {pointing  to  it)  of  JEsculapius. 

Pal.  That  I  have  known  for  more  than  a  twelvemonth  past. 

Ph^d.  Close  to  it  is  that  door,  dear  as  my  very  eyes. 
{Points  to  the  door  of  Cappadox.)  Hail  to  you !  door,  dear 
as  my  very  eyes ;  have  you  been  quite  well  of  late  ? 

Pal.  Did  a  fever  leave  you3  but  yesterday,  or  the  day 
before,  and  did  you  take  your  dinner  yesterday  ? 

Phjed.  Are  you  laughing  at  me  ?  Pal.  Why  then,  mad- 
man, are  you  enquiring  whether  the  door  is  well  or  not  ? 

Ph^id.  I'  faith,  I've  known  it  as  a  door  most  comely  and 
most  discreet :  never  one  word  does  it  whisper ;  when  it  is 
opened,  it  is  silent;  and  when,  by  night,  she  secretly  comes 
out  to  me,  it  holds  its  peace. 

Pal.  And  are  you  not,  Phsedroinus,  doing,  or  contemplating 
the  doing  of,  some  deed  which  is  unworthy  of  yourself  or  of 
your  family  ?  Are  you  not  laying  a  snare  for  some  modest 
fair  one,  or  for  one  that  should  be  modest  ? 

Ph^d.  For  no  one ;  and  may  Jupiter  not  permit  me  to 
do  so. 

Pal.  I  wish  the  same.  Ever,  if  you  are  wise,  so  bestow 
your  love,  that  if  the  public  should  know  the  object  which 
you  love,  it  may  be  no  disgrace  to  you.  Ever  do  you  take 
care  that  you  be  not  disgraced4. 

1  Your  own  servant) — Ver.  9.  "  Puer"  may  signify  either  ''  servant"  or  "  boy"  in 
this  passage.  In  the  former  case,  Palinurus  would  mean,  "  you  are  acting  as  your 
own  servant,  in  carrying  the  torch ;"  in  the  latter,  the  allusion  would  probably  be 
to  the  fact  that  boys,  handsomely  drest,  used,  at  the  nuptial  ceremony,  to  carry 
lighted  torches  before  the  bride  and  bridegroom. 

2  Your  waxen  torch) — Ver.  10.  It  is  not  improbable  that  the  flambeaux,  or 
torches,  used  by  the  higher  classes,  were  of  wax ;  while  those  in  more  common  use 
were  made  of  pine-wood,  tow,  and  other  inflammable  substances. 

3  A  fever  leave  you) — Ver.  18.  He  asks  his  master  this,  as  he  is  in  doubt  whether 
he  is  in  his  senses  or  not.  It  was  a  notion  among  the  ancients  that  fasting  was 
very  apt  to  produce  delirium. 

*  Be  n*A  disgraced) — Ver.  30.   "  Intestabilis."     One  who  is  infamous,  and 


g 


Sc.  I.  OB,  THE  FORGERY.  52S 

~Pamv.  What  means  that  expression  ?  Pal.  For  you  to 
proceed  with  caution  on  your  path;  the  object  that  you 
love,  love  in  the  presence  of  witnesses. 

Ph^d.  Why,  'tis  a  Procurer  that  lives  here.     (He  points.) 

Pal.  No  one  drives  you  away  from  there,  nor  yet  forbids 
rou,  if  you  have  the  money,  to  buy  what's  openly  on  sale. 
"o  one  forbids  any  person  from  going  along  the  public  road, 
so  long  as  he  doesn't  make  a  path  through  the  field  that's 
fenced  around ;  so  long  as  you  keep  yourself  away  from  the 
wife,  the  widow,  the  maiden,  youthful  age,  and  free-born 
children,  love  what  you  please. 

Ph^d.  This  is  the  house  of  a  Procurer. 

Pal.  A  curse  befall  it.     Ph^d.  "Why  so  ? 

Pal.  Because  it  serves  in  an  infamous  service. 

Phjgd.  You  speak  out.     Pal.  Be  it  so,  most  especially. 

Ph^ed.  Once  more,  will  you  hold  your  tongue  ? 

Pal.  Yon  bade  me  speak  out1,  I  thought. 

Ph^ed.  Then,  now  I  forbid  you.  But,  as  I  had  begun  ta 
say,  he  has  a  young  female  slave 

Pal.  This  Procurer,  you  mean,  who's  living  here  ? 

Ph^ed.  You  have  hold  of  it  exactly. 

Pal.  The  less  shall  I  be  in  dread  of  its  falling. 

Pilzed.  You  are  impertinent.  He  wishes  to  make  her 
a  courtesan,  while  she  is  desperately  in  love  with  me ; 
whereas  I  don't  wish  to  have  her  upon  loan. 

Pal.  Why  so  ?  PHiED.  Because  I'm  for  having  her  as  my 
own  ;  I  love  her  equally  as  well. 

Pal.  Clandestine  courtship  is  bad ;  'tis  utter  ruin. 

Ph^d.  I'  troth,  'tis  so  as  you  say. 

Pal.  Has  she  as  yet  submitted  to  the  yoke  of  Venus  ? 

PhjED.  For  me  she  is  as  chaste  as  though  she  were  my 
own  sister,  unless,  indeed,  she  is  any  the  more  unchaste  for 
some  kissing. 

whose  evidence  cannot  be  taken  as  a  witness  in  the  courts  of  law.  Lambinus  sug- 
gests that  here,  as  in  other  instances  where  the  word  is  used  by  Plautus,  an  inde- 
licate pun  is  intended. 

1  Bade  me  speak  out) — Ver.  42.  Phaedromus  had  said  to  Palinurus,  "  Obk>- 
quere,"  which  may  either  mean  u  you  are  abusive"  or  "  do  you  speak  out." 
I  Phaedromus  intends'  it  in  the  former  sense,  but  Palinurus  pretends  to  understand 
B  in  the  latter ;  and  when  his  master  tells  him  to  be  quiet,  he  says,  "  Why,  ] 
|  thought  you  told  me  to  speak  out." 

2  M 


530  cueculio  ;  Act  I. 

Pal.  Always,  do  you  understand,  flame  follows  very  close 
oh  smoke ;  with  smoke,  nothing  can  be  burnt,  with  flame,  it 
can.  He  who  wishes  to  eat  the  kernel1  of  the  nut,  first 
breaks  the  nut ;  he  who  wishes  to  seduce,  opens  the  dance2 
with  kisses. 

Piijed.  But  she  is  chaste,  and  never  yet  has  bestowed  her 
favours  upon  man. 

Pal.  That  I  could  believe3,  if  any  Procurer  had  any 
shame. 

Ph^d.  Well,  but  what  think  you  of  her  ?  When  she  has 
any  opportunity,  she  steals  away  to  me ;  when  she  has  given 
me  a  kiss,  she's  off  again.  This  happens  by  reason  of  this, 
because  this  Procurer  is  lying  a-bed  ill  in  the  Temple4  of 
JEsculapius  ;  that  ^llow  is  my  torturer. 

Pal.  How  so  ?  Ph^ed.  At  one  time  he  asks  me  for  thirty 
minse  for  her,  at  another  for  a  great  talent ;  and  from  him  I 
cannot  obtain  any  fair  and  just  dealing. 

Pal.  Tou  are  too  exacting,  in  requiring  that  of  him  which 
no  Procurer  possesses. 

Phjed.  Now,  I've  sent  my  Parasite  hence  to  Caria5,  to 
ask  for  money  on  loan  from  my  friend ;  if  he  doesn't  bring 
me  this,  which  way  to  turn  myself  I  know  not. 

Pal.  If  you  salute  the  Deities,  towards  the  right6  I  think ; 
now  this  is  this  altar  of  Venus  before  their  door. 

1  To  eat  the  kernel) — Ver.  55.  This  is  exactly  our  proverb,  which  implies  that 
labour  attends  every  pursuit — "  To  extract  the  kernel,  you  must  crack  the 
shell." 

2  Opens  the  dance) — Ver.  56.  There  is  an  indecent  allusion  intended  in  this 
line,  which  is  somewhat  modified  in  the  translation. 

3  /  could  believe) — Ver.  58.  Palinurus  thinks  it  impossible  that  such  a  wretc1, 
as  Cappadox  would  leave  her  untouched. 

4  In  the  Temple) — Ver.  62.  It  was  the  custom  of  those  who  wished  to  ask  any- 
thing of  the  Gods,  to  lie  in  their  Temples,  in  order  that  they  might  receive  their 
answers  and  instructions  in  their  sleep. 

5  To  Caria) — Ver.  67.  Caria  was  in  Asia  Minor.  Schmieder  justly  observes, 
that  the  Parasite  must  have  used  the  wings  of  Daedalus,  to  go  from  Epidaurusin 
the  Peloponnesus,  to  Caria,  and  discharge  his  commission  and  return  in  four  days 
only.  A  Roman  audience  would  not,  however,  be  likely  to  know  much  about  the 
relative  distance  of  places  so  far  off. 

6  Towards  tlie  right) — Ver.  70.  Dextrovorsum.  A  quibble  seems  to  be  intended 
in  the  use  of  this  word ;  Palinurus,  in  saying  "  turn  to  the  right  hand,"  pro- 
bably meat  is,  sarcastically,  "  turn  to  a  right  course  of  life." 


SC.  I.  OH,  T1IE  FORGERY.  531 

Ph^d.  I  have  already  vowed  to  bring  me1  an  early  break- 
fast for  my  Venus2.  Pal.  What  ?  Will  you  then  be  giving 
up  yourself  as  a  breakfast  to  Venus  ? 

Ph^d.  Myself,  and  you,  and  all  of  these.  (Pointing  to 
the  Slaves.) 

Pal.  Then  you  would  have  Venus  to  be  sick  outryht. 

Phjed.  (to  an  Attendant).  Here,  boy,  give  me  the  bowl. 

Pal.  What  are  you  going  to  do  ? 

Ph^ed.  You'll  know  directly.  An  old  hag  is  in  the  habit 
of  sleeping  here,  as  the  keeper  of  the  door ;  the  name  of  the 
Procuress  is  "  Much-bibber"  and  "  Neat-bibber." 

Pal.  Just  as  you  would  speak  of  a  flagon,  in  which  Chiat 
wine3  is  wont  to  be. 

Piled.  What  need  is  there  of  words  ?  She  is  a  most  vinous 
soul;  and  the  very  moment  that  I've  sprinkled  this  door 
with  the  wine,  she  knows  by  the  smell  that  I'm  here,  and 
opens  it  forthwith. 

Pal.  Is  it  for  her  the  bowl  is  brought  with  the  wine  ? 

Ph^d.  Unless  you  object.  Pal.  I'  faith,  I  do  object ; 
for  I'd  rather  have  it  broken  about  him  who  has  brought  it. 
I  fancied  it  was  brought  for  ourselves. 

Ph^d.  Why  don't  you  hold  your  tongue  ?  If  any's  left 
after  her,  it  will  be  enough  for  ourselves. 

Pal.  What  river  is  it,  pray,  that  the  sea  does  not  receive  ? 

Ph^d.  Follow  me  this  way,  Palinurus,  to  the  door ;  do  you 
be  obedient  to  me.  Pal.  I'll  do  so.  (They  advance  to  the 
door  of  the  Procurer'  s  house?) 

Ph^ed.  (sprinkling  the  door  with  wine).  Come,  drink, 
you  joyous  door,  quaff  on,  readily  prove  propitious  unto  me. 

1  To  bring  me) — Ver,  72.  "  Me  inferre."  These  words  may  mean,  according  to 
the  context,  either  "  myself  to  bring"  or  "  to  bring  myself."  Phaedromus  means 
to  nse  them  in  the  former  sense ;  but,  in  his  quibbling  mood,  Palinurus  chooses  to 
understand  them  in  the  latter. 

2  For  my  Venus) — Ver.  72.  By  his  "  Venus"  he  means  Planesium,  with  whom 
ne  is  desperately  in  love,  and  for  whom  and  the  Procuress  he  is  carrying  the 
"  jentaculum."  This  was  a  meal  which,  we  learn  from  Martial,  was  generally  taken 
about  three  or  four  o'clock  in  the  morning.  It  was,  however,  taken  by  few  but 
invalids  and  children.  The  reason  of  Phaedromus  providing  a  "jentaculum"  for 
his  mistress  is  probably  the  circumstance  of  the  Procurer  not  being  likely  to  in- 
terfere, as  he  has  determined  to  pass  the  night  in  the  Temple  oi  iEsculapius. 

8  Chian  wine) — Ver.  79.  Chios,  now  Scio,  in  the  Mg^an  Sea,  produced  the 
choicest  wine,  which  was  the  only  wine  of  Greece  that  did  not  requnu  to  be  mixed 
with  sea- water,  to  correct  acidity  and  increase  its  durability. 

2  m2 


532  cuitcuLio ,  Act  1. 

Pal.  (in  an  affected  tone).  Boor,  would  you  like  some 
olives  or  a  tit-bit,  or  some  capers  ? 

Ph^:d.  Arouse  and  send  out  here  to  me  your  portress. 

Pal.  You're  spilling  the  wine  ;  what  matter  is  it  that  pos- 
sesses you  ?    (Takes  hold  of  his  arm.) 

PiiiED.  Let  me  alone.  Don't  you  see  ?  This  most  joyous 
door  is  opening  ;  does  the  hinge  make  a  bit  of  creaking  ?  "lis 
a  charming  one. 

Pal.  "Why  don't  you  then  give  it  a  kiss  ? 

PmsD.  Hold  your  tongue ;  let's  keep  back  the  light  and 
mir  noise. '  Pal.  Be  it  so.  {They  stand  apart,  leaving  the 
bowl  near  the  door.) 

Scene  II. — Enter  the  Procuress,  from  the  house  of 
Cappadox. 

Proc.  The  savour  of  aged  wine  has  reached  my  nostrils  ; 
the  love  of  it  has  brought  me  in  my  eagerness  hither  in  the 
dark  ;  wherever  it  is,  it's  near  me.  O  capital,  I've  found  it. 
(Stooping,  and  smelling  at  the  bowl.)  Hail  to  you,  my  soul, 
joy  of  dear  Bacchus  ;  how  enamoured  am  I  of  your  old  age. 
For  in  comparison  with  yours,  the  odour  of  all  unguents 
were  mere  bilge- water  ;  you  are  my  myrrh,  you  my  cinnamon, 
you  my  rose,  you  my  saffron  unguent  and  my  cassia,  you  are 
my  ■vine-palm1  scent.  But,  where  you  have  been  poured, 
there  would  I  most  earnestly  hope  to  be  buried. 

Pal.  (apart).  This  old  lady's  thirsty;  how  limited  is  her 
thirst?  PHiED.  (apart).  She's  a  moderate  person  ;  she  swal- 
lows eight  gallons2  only. 

Pal.  (apart).  I'  faith,  according  to  your  account,  this 
year's  vintage  is  not  enough  for  this  old  woman  alone. 

Proc.  But  since  as  yet  you,  fragrance,  alone  have  penetrated 
to  my  nostrils,  so  in  its  turn  afF6rd  some  delight  to  my  throat, 
(Feels  for  the  bowl  on  the  ground,  which  Palinurus  draws 
away?)  I  find  you  not ;  where  is  your  own  dear  self?  I'm 
longing  to  touch  you  ;  do  let  me  pour  your  liquids  into  me  by 

1  Vine-palm') — Ver.  101.  "  Bdellium"  was  a  gum  of  fragrant  smell  and  hitter 
taste,  which  exuded  from  a  tree  that  grew  in  Arabia.  It  is  described  by  the  Elder 
Pliny,  in  his  Twelfth  Book. 

2  Eight  gallons) — Ver.  103.  "  Quadrantal."  This  was  a  measure  which  hel; 
forty-eight  "  sextarii,"  of  about  a  pint  and  a  half  each. 


Sc.  II,  OR,  THE  FOEGERY.  530 

sip-sipping.  But  in  this  direction  it  has  gone,  this  way  I'll 
follow  it.  ( Goes  in  the  direction  of  Palinueus,  who  has  the 
bowl.) 

Pal.  (apart).  It  really  had  been  more  proper  for  her  to  be 
a  dog ;  she  has  a  good  nose. 

Peoc.  Prithee,  whose  voice  is  it  that  I  hear  at  a  distance. 

Ph^id.  (apart).  I  think  that  this  old  hag  should  be  ae» 
costed.  I'll  approach  her.  {Aloud.)  Come  back,  Procuress, 
and  look  back  towards  me. 

Peoc.  "Who  is  it  that  gives  his  commands  ? 

Ph^id.  The  all-powerfux  in  wine,  jolly  Bacchus ;  he  who, 
when  you're  hawking,  parched,  and  half  asleep,  brings  you  a 
draught  and  comes  to  quench  your  thirst. 

Peoc.  How  far  is  he  away  from  me  ? 

Piled,   (holding  up  the  torch).  See  this  light. 

Peoc.  Then,  prithee,  do  quicken  your  pace  towards  me. 

Piled.  Health  to  you.  Peoc.  How  can  I  have  health, 
who  am  parched  with  thirst  ? 

Phjed.  But  you  shall  drink  in  a  moment. 

Peoc.  'Tis  long  a-coming. 

Piled,  (extending  the  bowl).  Here's  for  you,  jolly  old  dame. 

Peoc.  Health  to  you,  gentleman  dear  as  my  very  eyes. 

Pal.  Come,  toss  this  off  quickly  into  your  abyss ;  scour 
out  your  sink  right  speedily. 

Ph^d.  H.old  your  tongue ;  I  won't  have  her  ill  spoken  to. 

Pal.  (aside).  In  preference,  then,  I'll  do  her  ill. 

Peoc.  (pouring  some  of  the  residue  on  the  altar).  Yenus, 
of  this  little,  this  very  little  will  I  give  to  thee1 — sore  against 
my  will ;  for  all  the  lovers,  in  their  cups,  to  propitiate  thee, 
expend  their  wine  upon  thee :  not  such  windfalls  often  fall  to 
me.     (Drinks  again.) 

Pal.  Do  look  at  that,  please,  how  greedily  the  filthy  hag 
swills  down  the  pure  wine  into  herself  with  distended  gullet. 

Peoc.   (patting  her  stomach  and  chuckling) .  Ha,  ha,  ha. 

Pal.  How  is  it  ?    Do  you  like  it  ?     Peoc.  I  do  like  it. 

Pal.  And  I,  too,  should  like  to  goad  with  a  spur  as  well. 

Piled,  (aside  to  Palinueus).  Don't  you — do  hold  your 

1  Will  I  give  to  thee)—Ver.  123.  As  a  libation.  It  was  the  custom  to  pour  out 
wine  or  other  liquors,  as  libations  in  honor  of  the  Gods,  either  upon  an  altar,  on 
the  ground,  into  the  sea,  or  on  a  table,  according  to  the  circumstances  of  the 


534  curcttlio;  Act  1. 

tongue.  Pal.  I'll  hold  my  tongue  ;  (the  old  woman  drinks) 
but  see,  the  rainbow's  drinking1 ;  I'  faith,  I  do  believe  it  will 
rain  to-day. 

Pbled.  Troth  now,  I'm  quite  undone ;  what  first  to  say  to 
her  I  know  not. 

Pal.  Why,  the  same  thing  that  you  said  to  me. 

Ph^d.  What's  that  ?     Pal.  Say  that  you're  quite  undone. 

Piled.  May  the  Gods  confound  you.     Pal.  Say  so  to  her. 

Phjsd.  Am  I  to  say  then  to  her ? 

Pal.  Say  what  ?     Phjed.  That  I'm  quite  undone. 

Pal.  Well  then,  say  so.  Ph^d.  Old  lady,  do  listen.  I 
wish  you  to  know  this ;  to  my  sorrow,  I'm  quite  undone. 

Proc.  But,  i'  faith,  for  my  part,  I'm  altogether  brought 
to  life.  But  why  is  it  that  you  are  pleased  to  say  you  are 
quite  undone  ?  Ph^d.  Because  I'm  deprived  of  the  object 
which  I  love.     (Pretends  to  weep.) 

Proc.  My  dear  Phaedromus,  prithee,  do  not  weep  ;  do  you 
take  care  that  I'm  not  thirsty,  I'll  at  once  bring  out  here 
for  you  the  object  which  you  love.     (Goes  into  the  house.) 

Ph^d.  Assuredly,  if  you  keep  faith  with  me,  in  place  of 
a  golden  statue,  I'll  erect  for  you  one  of  wine2,  which  shall 
be  a  memorial  of  your  gullet  Palinurus,  who  on  earth  will 
be  so  blest  as  myself,  if  she  comes  to.  me  ? 

Pal.  By  my  faith,  he  who  is  in  love,  if  he  is  in  want  as 
well,  is  afflicted  with  a  dreadful  malady. 

Ph-ED.  Such  is  not  the  case  with  me ;  ior  I  feel  sure  that 
this  very  day  my  Parasite  will  come  hither  to  me  with  the 
money.  Pal.  You  attempt  something  mighty,  if  you  ex- 
pect that  which  nowhere  exists. 

Ph^d.  What  if  I  approach  the  door,  and  trill  a  carol3  ? 

Pal.  If  you  choose  ;  I  neither  bid  nor  request  you,  since, 
my  master,  I  see  that  you  are  of  manners  and  disposition 
thus  changed. 

Piled,  (sings).  Bolts,  O  ye  bolts,  with  pleasure  do  I  salute 

1  The  rainbow's  drinking) — Ver.  129.  This  is  said  in  allusion  to  an  absurd 
belief  which  prevailed  among  the  ancients,  that  the  rainbow  drank  up  water  from 

he  surface  of  the  earth. 

2  One  of  wine) — Ver.  149.  "  Vineam."  There  is  more  humour  in  taking  this  to 
Hiean  "  a  statue  of  wine,"  than  merely  "  a  vine-tree,"  as  Warner  has  trans- 
ited it. 

3  Trill  a  carol) — Ver.  14.").  "  Occentem."  This  word  has  probably  mucn  ran 
<Mne  meaning  here  as  our  word  "  serenade." 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  FORGERY.  535 

you.  I  love  you,  I  court  you,  I  seek  you.  and  you  entreat ; 
most  kindly  lend  your  aid  to  me  in  love  ;  become,  for  my  sake, 
as  though  play-actors1  from  foreign  climes ;  leap  upwards, 
pray,  and  send  out  of  doors  this  fair  one,  who  drains  my 
blood  for  me  distractedly  in  love.  (Addressing  Palinurus.) 
Look  at  that,  how  those  most  accursed  bolts  sleep  on,  and 
none  the  quicker  for  my  sake  do  they  bestir  themselves 
(Addressing  the  door.}  I  see  quite  clearly  that  you  dou 
value  my  esteem  at  all.     Hist !  hush,  hush  ! 

Pal.  I'  troth,  for  my  part  I'm  silent  enough. 

Ph^id.  I  hear  a  noise ;  at  last,  i'  faith,  these  bolts  have 
become  complaisant  to  me. 

Scene  III. — He-enter  the  Procuress,  with  Planesium, 
from  the  house  of  Cappadox. 

Proc.  (to  Planesium,  while  opening  the  door).  Come  softly 
out,  and  prevent  the  noise  of  the  doors  and  the  creaking  ot* 
the  hinges,  m)  dear  Planesium,  that  our  master  mayn't  per- 
ceive that  that  ^  going  on  which  wo  are  doing  here.  Sta*. , 
I'll  pour  a  little  water2  on  it.     (Pours  water  on  the  hinges.} 

Pal.  (to  Peledromus).  Do  you  see  how  the  palsied  hag  is 
giving  her  dose  ?  She  herself  has  learnt  right  well  to  drink 
up  the  wine ;  to  the  door  she's  giving  water  for  it  to  drink. 

Plan,  (looking  around).  Where  are  you— you  who  have 
summoned  me  on  the  recognizances  of  Venus3  ?  To  you  do 
I  present  myself,  and,  in  the  same  way  do  I  call  on  you,  on 
the  other  hand,  to  present  yourself  to  me. 

Ph^ed.  (stepping  forward).  Here  I  am;  for  could  I  be 

1  Play-actors) — Ver.  150.  The  Lydians,  or  rather  their  descendants,  the  Etru- 
rians, were  the  earliest  actors  at  Rome;  hence  the  term  used  here,  "  barbari," 
u  foreigners."  The  metaphor  is  borrowed  from  the  fact  that  dancing,  leaping,  and 
gestures,  were  the  especial  features  of  their  performances. 

2  Pour  a  little  water) — Ver.  160.  To  prevent  their  creaking,  so  that  Cappadox 
may  not  hear  them. 

3  Recognizances  of  Venus) — Ver.  162.  "  Veneriis  vadimoniis."  She  borrows  a 
legal  phrase  here.  "  Vadimonium  legere"  was,  "  to  call  a  person  on  his  bail"  or 
"  recognizances."  When  the  Praetor  had  granted  an  action,  the  plaintiff  required 
the  defendant  to  give  security  for  his  appearance  on  the  day  named.  The  de- 
fendant, on  finding  a  surety,  was  said  "vadem  dare,"  or  "vadimonium  facere;" 
and  the  "  vas,"  or  "  surety,"  was  said  "  spondere."  The  plaintiff,  if  satisfied  with 
the  surety,  was  said  "  vadari  rerum,"  "  to  let  the  defendant  go  on  his  sureties." 
Planesium  probably  means  that  she  considers  herself  summoned  en  pain  of  for- 
feiting  the  love  of  Phaedromus. 


536  curculio  ;  Act  I, 

absent,  I  wouldn't  repine  for  any  misfortune  to  befall  me, 
my  honey.  Plan.  My  life,  it  is  not  becoming  for  one  thus 
in  love  to  be  at  a  distance. 

Ph^id.  Palinurus,  Palinurus !  Pal.  Say  on;  why  is  it 
that  you  call  upon  Palinurus  ? 

Phjsd.  (aside).  She  is  a  charming  one. 

Pal.  (aside).  Aye,  too  charming.     Piled.  I  am  a  God. 

Pal.  Why,  no — a  mortal,  of  no  great  value. 

Phjed.  What  have  you  seen,  or  what  will  you  see,  more 
nearly  to  be  compared  with  the  Gods  ? 

Pal.  Tou  are  not  in  your  senses,  master  ;  a  thing  that's 
grievous  to  me.  Ph^d.  Tou  are  not  sufficiently  respect- 
ful te  me  :  hold  your  tongue. 

Pal.  The  person  that  sees1  the  object  which  he  loves,  and 
enjoys  not  the  opportunity  while  he  may,  is  one  who  torments 
his  own  self. 

Peled.  Rightly  does  he  rebuke  me  ;  really  there's  nothing 
which  for  this  long  time  past  I  have  more  eagerly  desired. 

Plan.  Clasp  me,  embrace  me  then.  Pbled.  (embracing 
her) .  This,  too,  is  a  reason  for  which  I  could  wish  to  live  ;  be- 
cause your  master  restrains  you,  in  secret  do  I  court  you. 

Plan.  Restrain  me  ?  He  neither  can  restrain  me,  nor 
will  he  restrain  me,  unless  death  should  separate  my  soul 
from  you. 

Ph^id.  Let  monarchs  keep  their  kingdoms  to  themselves, 
the  rich  their  riches  to  themselves,  to  themselves  their 
honors,  to  themselves  their  prowess,  to  themselves  their 
combats,  to  themselves  their  battles ;  so  long  as  they  abstain 
from  envying  me,  let  each  one  of  them  keep  what  is  his  own. 

Pal.  (aside).  Of  a  truth,  I  cannot  refrain  from  giving  a 
lecture  to  my  master ;  for,  really,  it  is  good  to  love  in  a  mode- 
rate degree ;  to  distraction,  it  is  not  good  ;  but  to  love  to  en- 
tire distraction,  is  the  thing  that  my  master's  doing.  (Aloud.) 
What  say  you,  sir  ?  Have  you  made  a  vow,  Phsedromus, 
you'd  watch  the  night  through  for  Venus  ?  For  really,  upon 
my  faith,  before  very  long  hence  the  dawn  will  be  breaking. 

Prjed.  Do  hold  your  tongue. 

Pal.  Why  hold  my  tongue  ?  What,  are  you  going  to  sleep? 

1  Person  that  sees) — Ver.  170.  He  is  censuring  his  master  for  his  backwardness 
vr.  rot  embracing  Planesium  instantly  on  her  appearance. 


Sc.  111.  OR,  THE  rOEGEKT.  537 

Ph^d.  I  am  asleep  ;  don't  you  make  a  noise. 

Pal.  Why,  but  you're  broad  awake.  Ph^d.  Aye,  but 
after  my  own  fashion  I'm  asleep  ;  this  is  my  slumber. 

Pal.  (to  Planesium).  A  word  with  you,  madam;  'tis 
thoughtlessness  to  treat  amiss  one  who  deserves  it  not. 

Plan.  Tou  would  be  angry,  if,  when  you  are  eating,  he 
were  to  drive  you  away1  from  your  food. 

Pal.  (aside).  It's  all  over  with  him.  I  see  that  these  two 
are  equally  in  love  to  distraction ;  and  both  of  them  are 
mad.  D'ye  see  how  intensely  they  hug  each  other  ?  They 
cannot  embrace  enough.  (Addressing  them.)  Are  you  going 
to  part  yet  ? 

Plan.  No  human  being  has  blessings  that  last3  for  ever. 
To  this  pleasure,  then,  is  that  plague  added. 

Pal.  "What  say  you,  you  shocking  hussy3  ?  What,  you 
little  tipsy  ninny*,  are  even  you  with  your  owlish  eyes5  to  be 
calling  me  a  plague,  you  whipper-snapper  ? 

Phjgd.  What,  you  abusing  my  own  Venus  ?  And  really, 
is  a  slave  well  trounced  with  the  rod  to  be  commencing  a 
discussion  with  myself  ?  But,  by  the  powers,  you've  surely 
said  that  to  your  own  misfortune.  (Strikes  him.)  There, 
take  that,  by  way  of  punishment  for  this  abusive  language, 
that  you  may  be  able  to  put  a  check  upon  your  speech. 

Pal.  (to  Planesium).  Tour  aid,  I.pray,  you  night-watching 

1  To  drive  you  away) — Ver.  186.  As  Palinurus  wishes  his  master  to  withdraw 
against  the  wish  of  Planesium,  she  asks  him  how  he  would  like  his  victuals  to  be 
taken  away  from  him — implying  that  Phaedromus  is  as  dear  to  herself  as  her  very 
sustenance. 

2  Blessings  that  last) — Ver.  189.  This  is  like  the  sentiment  in  Horace,  Book  hi., 
Ode  16: 

Nihil  est  ab  omni 

Parte  beatum. 

3  Shocking  hussy) — Ver.  190.  "  Propudium."  This  was  a  very  harsh  term  of 
reproach ;  and  it  is  not  to  be  wondered  at  that  Phaedromus  is  angry  with  Palinurus 
for  using  it. 

4  Tipsy  ninny) — Ver.  192.  "  Ebriola,"  and  not  "  ebriolae,"  seems  to  be  the  cor- 
rect reading  here.  She  has  perhaps  been  taking  her  share  of  the  wine,  to  which 
fact  he  alludes.  "  Persolla"  means  either  "  a  little  mask"  or  a  "  diminutive 
Krson ;"  much  as  we  call  a  little  interfering  body  a  "  whipper-snapper." 

5  Owlish  eyes) — Ver.  191.  Though  grey  eyes  were  admired  among  the  Greeks 
Pahnurus  does  not  intend  this  as  a  compliment  to  Planesium.  He  perhaps  alludea 
to  her  intended  vocation,  as  having  eyes  peculiarly  adapted  for  the  night-time- 


538  cuecclio  ;  Act  I. 

Venus.  Ph^d.  What,  do  you  still  persist,  whip-scoundrel  ? 
(Strikes  him.) 

Plan.  Don't,  there's  a  dear,  be  beating  a  stone,  lest  you 
should  hurt  your  hand. 

Pal.  You  perpetrate,  Phaedromus,  a  flagitious  and  a  shame- 
ful deed  of  great  enormity ;  one  who  directs  you  aright,  you 
pummel  with  your  fists ;  her  you  are  in  love  with,  a  mere 
nonentity.  Is  it  right  that  you  should  behave  yourself  in 
this  unreasonable  manner  ? 

Piled.  Find  me  a  reasonable  lover  against  his  weight  in 
gold  ;  here,  take  the  gold  of  me.     (Holds  out  his  purse.) 

Pal.  Do  you  find  me  a  person  for  me  to  serve  in  his  sound 
senses  against  his  weight  in  double-distilled  gold. 

Plan.  Kindly  fare  you  well,  apple  of  my  eye,  for  I  hear 
the  sound  and  creaking  of  doors  ;  I  think  the  keeper1  is 
opening  the  temple.  But,  prithee,  in  this  same  manner  shall 
we  always  enjoy  our  love  by  stealth  ? 

Ph^d.  Far  from  it;  for  I  sent  my  Parasite  four  days 
since  to  Caria  to  fetch  some  money  ;  he'll  be  here  to-day. 

Plan.  You  are  very  long  in  your  contriving. 

Ph^d.  So  may  Venus  love  me,  I'll  never  allow  you  to 
be  three  days  in  this  house  here,  before  I  procure  your 
liberty. 

Plan.  Take  care  to  remember  it.  Once  more,  before  I 
go  hence,  take  this  kiss.     (Kisses  him.) 

Ph^d.  By  heavens,  really  if  a  kingdom  now  were  offered 
me,  I  should  not  obtain  it  with  greater  pleasure.  When  shall 
I  see  you  again  ? 

Plan.  Why  now,  for  that  expression  get  ready  the 
Praetor's  rod2  ;  if  you  love  me,  purchase  my  freedom  ;  don't 
make  any  haggling.  Take  care  to  prevail  with  your  offer. 
Kindly  adieu!     (Goes  into  the  house  of  the  Peocueee.) 

Ph^;d.  And  am  I  then  left  behind?  Palinurus,  I'm 
killed  outright. 

1  The  keeper) — Ver.  204.  jEdituum.  The  "  aeditui"  were  persons  who  took 
care  of  the  Temples,  and  attended  to  the  cleaning  of  them.  They,  however,  par- 
took in  some  measure  of  the  priestly  character,  and  are  sometimes  called  priests 
by  the  Greek  Grammarians.  They  lived  in  or  near  to  the  Temples,  and  showed 
them  to  those  persons  who  wished  to  see  them. 

8  The  Praetor's  rod)— Ver.  212.  Vindicta.  '  This  was  the  rod  which  was  l&li 
oq  the  head  or  the  person  who  received  his  freedom. 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  FORGERY.  539 

Pal.  And  I  as  well,  who  am  dying  with  thumps  and  sleepi- 
ness. Piled.  Do  you  follow  me.  {They  go  into  the  house 
of  Ph^dromus.) 

Act.  II. — Scene  I. 

Enter  Cappadox,  from  the  Temple  of  ^Esctjlapius. 
Cap.  {to  himself) .  I  am  resolved  to  depart  from  this  Temple 
out  of  doors  forthwith,  since  thus  I  find1  the  determination  of 
iEsculapius,  who  sets  me  at  nought,  and  chooses  not  that  1 
should  be  healed.  My  health  is  declining,  my  weakness  in- 
creases. For  now  I  walk,  girded  with  my  spleen  as  though 
with  a  belt ;  in  my  stomach  do  I  seem  to  be  holding  a  twin 
offspring.  I'm  afraid  of  nothing,  but  that,  in  my  misery,  I 
should  burst  asunder  in  the  middle. 

Enter  Palinurus,  from  the  house  of  Ph^dromus. 

Pal.  {speaking  to  Ph^dromus  within  as  he  enters).  If 
you  do  right,  Phaedromus,  you'll  listen  to  me,  and  banish 
this  sorrow  from  your  feelings.  You  are  anxious  because 
your  Parasite  hasn't  returned  from  Caria.  I  think  he'll 
bring  the  money ;  but  if  he  doesn't  bring  it,  by  a  chain 
■of  iron  he  couldn't  be  withheld  from  betaking  himself  to  eat 
at  his  manger3. 

Cap.  {turning  round).  What  person  is  it  that  speaks  ? 

Pal.  {to  himself).  Whose  voice  is  it  that  I  hear  ? 

Cap.  Isn't  this  Palinurus,  the  servant  of  Phaedromus  ? 

Pal.  {aside).  Who  is  this  fellow  with  extended  paunch, 
and  eyes  as  green  as  grass  ?  From  his  figure  I  know  him ; 
from  his  complexion  I  cannot  recognize  him.  0,  now  I  do 
know  him:  it's  the  Procurer  Cappadox.     I'll  accost  him. 

Cap.  Save  you,  Palinurus.  Pal.  0  source  of  villanies, 
save  you ;  how  are  you  ? 

Cap.  I'm  just  alive.  Pal.  Just  as  you  deserve,  I  sup- 
pose ?     But  what's  the  matter  with  you  ? 

Cap.  My  spleen  is  killing  me,  my  reins  are  in  torment,  my 
lungs  are  being  torn  asunder,  my  liver  is  being  tortured,  my 
heart-strings  are  giving  way,  all  my  intestines  are  in  pain. 

1  Since  thus  IfincC)—Vev.  217.  It  being  near  daybreak,  Cappadox  comes  from 
the  Temple,  complaining  that  he  has  experienced  no  relief  from  his  visit. 

2  At  his  manger) — Ver.  228.  "  Prsesepem,"  a  "manger"  or  "stall,"  in  ailn- 
aon  to  the  sensual  propensities  of  Parasites. 


^40  curcttlio  ;  Act  II. 

Pal.  The  liver  complaint  is  afflicting  you,  then. 

Cap.  My  spleen  is  expanded.  Pal.  Take  walking  exer- 
cise1-; that's  the  best  thing  for  the  spleen. 

Cap.  'Tis  an  easy  matter  to  laugh  at  the  afflicted. 

Pal.  Well,  then,  do  you  hold  out2  for  some  days  until 
your  intestines  become  putrid.  Now,  while  the  humours  are 
pretty  sound,  if  you  do  that,  you  yourself  might  sell  for  a 
worse  price  than  those  intestines  of  yours. 

Cap.  Prithee,  have  done  with  this,  and  answer  me  this 
which  I  ask ;  can  you  possibly  form  a  conjecture  on  it,  if  I 
relate  to  you  what  I  dreamt  last  night  in  my  sleep  ? 

Pal.  Psha,  this — (pointing  to  himself) — this  is  the  sole 
person  that  is  really  skilled  in  divination ;  why,  the  inter- 

Ereters  of  dreams  ask  advice  of  myself;  the  answer  that  I 
ave  given  them,  by  that  opinion  they  all  stand. 

Scene  II. — Enter  a  Cook,  from  the  house  of  Ph^dkomus. 

Cook.  Palinurus,  why  do  you  delay  ?  Why  are  not  the 
things  served  out  for.  me  which  are  needed  for  the  breakfast 
to  be  prepared  for  the  Parasite  when  he  comes. 

Par.  Wait,  please,  until  I  interpret  his  dream.  (Pointing 
to  Cappadox.) 

Cook.  Why,  you  your  own  self,  if  you've  had  any  dream, 
always  apply  to  me.      Pal.  I  confess  it. 

Cook.  Be  off,  then,  and  serve  out  the  things. 

Pal.  (to  Cappadox).  Come  now,  do  you  in  the  meantime 
relate  your  dream  to  him.  I  give  you  a  substitute  better 
than  I  am  myself;  for  what  I  do  know,  all  of  it  I  know  from 
him.    (Pointing  to  the  Cook.) 

1  Take  walking  exercise) — Ver.  240.  There  is  little  doubt  that  he  means 
seriously  to  tell  Cappadox  that  exercise  is  the  best  cure  for  disease  of  the  spleen. 
The  Procurer,  however,  thinks  that  he  is  laughing  at  him. 

2  Do  you  hold  out) — Ver.  242.  This  passage  lias  much  perplexed  Commen- 
tators. If  a  period  is  placed  after  "  tibi,"  and  "  exputescant"  is  read  for  "  ex- 
putescunt,"  much  of  the  difficulty  is  removed.  None  of  the  Commentators  seem 
to  have  observed  that,  in  all  probability,  "  si  id  feceris,"  "  if  you  do  that,"  refers 
to  the  advice  previously  given  as  to  taking  exercise.  If  so,  the  meaning  is  clear: 
"  If  you  don't  take  exercise,  in  a  few  days  your  inside  will  be  putrefying.  If,  how- 
ever, you  do  so  now,  while  the  humours  of  the  body  are  not  corrupted,  your  inside 
will  fetch  a  higher  price  than  your  whole  carcase  put  together" — alluding  to  tb* 
worthless  character,  of  the  Procurer. 


Sc.  III.  OB,  THE  FORGERY.  541 

Cap.  Let  him  give  his  attention  then. 

Pal.  He'll  give  it.  .  Cap.  He  does  what  few  do,  in  being 
attentive  to  their  masters  even.  (To  the  Cook.)  Do  you 
give  me  your  attention  then.  (Palinurus  goes  into  the 
house  of  Phjedromtjs.) 

Cook.  Although  I  don't  know  you,  I'll  give  it  you. 

Cap.  Last  night  I  seemed  in  my  sleep  to  behold  iEscu- 
lapius,  seated  at  a  distance  far  away  from  me  ;  and  it  seemed 
that  he  didn't  come  near  me,  or  set  any  value  upon  me. 

Cook.  The  other  Gods  will  do  the  same,  you  must  know ; 
in  fact,  among  themselves  they  agree  with  perfect  unanimity. 
It  isn't  to  be  wondered  at,  if  it  fares  no  better  with  you. 
But  it  had  been  better  for  you  to  pass  the  night  in  Jove's 
Temple,  who  has  given  you  his  assistance1  in  your  oaths. 

Cap.  If,  indeed,  those  should  wish  to  sleep  there  who 
have  been  guilty  of  perjury,  it  were  not  possible  for  room 
to  be  found  them  in  the  Capitol2. 

Cook.  Give  your  attention  to  this ;  ask  peace  of  JEscu- 
lapius,  lest  perchance  some  great  mishap  befall  you,  which  has 
been  portended  to  you  in  your  rest. 

Cap.  You  do  well  in  advising  me ;  I'll  go  and  pray  to  him. 
(Goes  into  the  Temple.) 

Cook.  And  ill  speed  you  with  it  *  *  * 

*  *  *      (Goes  into  the  house  o/\Ph.edromtts.) 

Scene  III. — Enter  Palintjrus,//"ow  the  house. 

Pal.  (looking  in  the  distance,  as  he  enters).  O  immortal 
Gods,  whom  do  I  behold  ?  Who's  that  yonder  ?  (Pointing.) 
Isn't  that  the  Parasite,  who  was  sent  to  Caria?  (Goes  to 
the  door.)  Hallo,  come  out,  Phsedromus,  come  out,  come 
out,  come  out  this  instant,  I  say. 

Enter  ~Psmj)-romjjs,  from  the  house. 
Piued.  Why  are  you  making  this  noise  here  ? 

1  Given  you  his  assistance) — Ver.  267.  He  may  either  mean  that  Jupiter  has 
favoured  him  when  he  has  been  guilty  of  perjury,  or  that  the  Procurer  must  be 
greatly  indebted  to  that  God  for  having  so  often  lent  him  his  name  on  his  making 
solemn  adjurations  to  further  his  base  purposes. 

2  In  the  Capitol) — Ver.  269.  Though  the  Scene  is  in  the  Peloponnesus,  Plautas 
makes  mention  of  the  Capitol,  a  part  of  Rome.  Some  others  of  the  Italhn  towns 
had  their  "  Capitols"  in  later  times. 


042  CURCTJLIO ;  Act  II. 

.  Pal.  ]  see  your  Parasite  running ;  see,  there  lie  is  {point- 
ing), down  at  the  end  of  the  street1.  Let's  listen  from  here 
what  he's  about. 

PHiED.  I  think  it's  as  well.     (Tliey  stand  aside.) 

Enter  Curculio,  at  a  distance,  walking  fast. 
Cur.  (to  himself).  Known  or  unknown,  make  way  for  me, 
vrhile  here  I  execute  my  commission ;  fly  all  of  you,  be  off, 
and  get  out  of  the  way,  lest  I  should  hurt  any  person  in 
my  speed  writh  my  head,  or  elbow,  or  breast,  or  with  my  knee. 
So  suddenly  now  am  I  charged  with  a  business  of  quickness 
and  despatch.  And  be  there  no  person  ever  so  opulent 
to  stop  me  in  my  way,  neither  general2,  nor  any  tyrant3,  nor 
market-officer4,  nor  demarch5  nor  comarch6,  with  their  honors 
so  great,  but  that  down  he  goes,  and  tumbles  head  first  from 
the  footpath  into  the  carriage-road.  And  then  those  Grecians 
writh  their  cloaks,  who  walk  about  with  covered  heads,  who 
go  loaded  beneath  their  cloaks  with  books,  and  with  baskets7, 

1  TJie  end  of  the  street) — Ver.  278.  This  passage,  combined  with  the  long  soli- 
loquy of  the  Parasite  while  still  walking  along,  gives  an  apt  illustration  of  the  great 
width  and  depth  of  the  Roman  stage. 

2  General) — Ver.  285.  Though  the  Scene  is  at  Epidaurns,  he  no  doubt  alludes 
to  the  ten  "Strategi"  of  Athens,  who,  after  the  remodelling  of  the  constitution 
by  Cleisthenes,  discharged  the  duties  which  had  been  formerly  performed  either 
by  the  King  or  the  Archon  Polemarchus.  They  were  elected  by  the  suffrages  of 
the  people,  and  exercised  the  supreme  power  in  peace  and  war.  See  an  able  article 
on  this  subject  in  Dr.  Smith's  "  Dictionary  of  Antiquities." 

3  Tyrant) — Ver.  285.  By  the  use  of  the  word  "  tyrannus"  he  perhaps  refers  to 
the  "  Basileus  Archon,"  or  "  King  Archon,"  of  Athens,  who  was  the  representa- 
tive of  the  ancient  kings,  in  their  capacity  of  high  priest.  It  was  his  duty  to  pre- 
side at  the  Lensea,  or  older  Dionysia,  to  superintend  mysteries  and  certain  games, 
and  to  offer  prayers  and  sacrifices  in  the  Eleusinium,  both  at  Athens  and  Eleusis. 
The  word  may,  however,  be  only  intended  as  a  general  name,  like  our  term  "  po- 
tentate." 

4  Market-officer) — Ver.  285.  "  Agoranomus,"  the  "  market-officer"  of  the 
Greeks,  has  been  referred  to  in  a  Note  to  the  Miles  Gloriosus. 

5  Demarch) — Ver.  286.  The  "  Demarchi"  were  the  chief  officers  of  the  "  demi," 
"  townsbips''  or  "  hundreds,"  in  Attica  It  was  their  duty  to  convene  the  "demus," 
and  take  the  votes ;  to  register  the  landed  estates,  to  collect  the  public  rents, 
and  to  furnish  to  the  authorities  a  list  of  the  members  of  the  townships  who  were 
fit  to  serve  in  war. 

3  Comarch) — Vm.  286.  The  "  Comarchi"  were  the  prefects,  or  head  officers  of 
each  village  or  f.amlet  in  Attica. 
1  With  baskets) — Ver.  289.  In  the  "  soortulae,"  or  '  baskets,"  the  poor,  and  tbs 


Sc.  III.  OR,  THE  FORGERY.  545 

they  loiter  together,  and  engage  in  gossipping  among  them- 
selves, the  gad-abouts1 ;  you  may  always  see  them  enjoy- 
ing themselves  in  the  hot  liquor-shops2 ;  when  they  have 
scraped  up  some  trifle,  with  their  covered  pates  they  are 
drinking  mulled  wine,  sad  and  maudlin  they  depart :  if  I 
stumble  upon  them  here,  from  every  single  one  of  them  I'll 
squeeze  out  a  belch  from  their  pearled-barley  diet3.  And  then 
those  servants  of  your  dainty  townsmen4,  who  are  playing  at 
catch-ball  in  the  road,  both  throwers  and  catchers,  all  of 
them  I'll  pitch  under  foot.  Would  they  avoid  a  mishap,  why 
then,  let  them  keep  at  home. 

Ph^ed.  (apart).  He  points  out  aright,  he  only  requires  that 
he  should  speak  with  authority ;  for  such  manners  are  in 
vogue  in  the  present  day,  such  at  present  are  the  slaves ; 
really,  control  cannot  be  held  over  them. 

Cur.  (to  himself).  Is  there  any  one,  I  wonder,  who  can 
point  out  to  me  Phaedromus,  my  good  Genius  ?  The  matter 
is  of  such  pressing  nature,  I  really  must  meet  with  the  man 
this  instant. 

Pal.  (apart).  He's  looking  for  you.  Ph^d.  (apart).  What 
if  we  accost  him  ?     (Aloud.)    Hallo !  Curculio,  I  want  you. 

Cur.  (looking  round).  Who's  calling  me?  Who's  men- 
tioning my  name  ? 

Ph^;d.  One  who  wishes  to  meet  with  you. 

Cur.  (seeing  him) .  You  don't  wish  more  for  me  than  I 
wish  for  you. 

parasitical  dependants  on  the  rich,  carried  away  the  scraps  that  were  given  to  them 
after  an  entertainment  was  concluded. 

1  The  gad-abouts) — Ver.  290.  Drapetae.  From  the  Greek  dpepco,  "to  run." 
He  probably  alludes  to  the  propensities  of  the  Athenians  for  gossipping  and 
running  about  from  place  to  place.  Probably,  at  the  time  of  Plautus,  they  ha<£ 
begun  in  considerable  numbers  to  resort  to  Rome.  By  his  reference  to  the  books, 
\e  is,  perhaps,  more  particularly  alluding  to  their  Philosophers.  The  Romans 
considered  it  effeminate  in  civil  life  to  go  with  the  head  covered. 

2  Hot  liquor-  shops — Ver.  292.  The  "  thermopolia"  have  been  alluded  to  in  a 
Note  to  the  Trinummus,  1.  1013. 

3  Their  pearled-barley  diet) — Ver.  295.  This  passage  is  necessarily  somewhat 
modified  in  the  translation.  The  Philosophers,  especially  the  Stoics,  who  prided 
themselves  on  their  abstinence,  lived  principally  upon  pearled  barley. 

4  Of  your  dainty  townsmen) — Ver.  296.  He  alludes  to  those  opulent  towns- 
men who,  to  make  a  show,  are  keeping  more  servants  than  they  want;  in  conse- 
quence whereof,  these  servants  have  nothing  to  do  but  play  at  ball  in  the  streets, 
aiuch  to  the  annoyance  of  the  passers-by. 


544  CURCULIO  ;  Act  II. 

.  Phjsd.  0  my  own  ready  occasion,  Curculio,  much  longed- 
for,  greetings  to  you. 

Cue.  Greetings  to  you.  Ph^d.  I'm  glad  that  you  have 
arrived  safe ;  give  me  your  right  hand.  How  stand  my 
hopes  ?     Troth  now,  prithee,  do  speak  out. 

Cur.  To  you,  troth  now,  prithee,  do  speak  out,  how  stand 
my  own.     {Makes  curious  gestures.} 

Phjsd.  What's  the  matter  with  you  ?  Cur.  A  dimness  is 
beginning  to  come,  my  knees  are  failing  through  fasting. 

Ph^d.  I'  faith,  through  lassitude,  I  think. 

Cur.  (staggering) .  Support  me,  prithee,  do  support  me. 

Piled.  See  how  pale  he  has  turned ;  will  you  give  him  a 
seat,  for  him  to  be  seated  at  once,  and  an  ewer  with  some 
water  ?   Will  you  make  haste,  this  very  instant  ? 

Cur.  I'm  faint.     Ph^d.  Would  you  like  some  water? 

Cur.  If  it's  full  of  bits1  of  meat,  prithee,  give  it  me  to 
swallow  down,  i'  faith.    Ph^d.  Woe  be  to  that  head  of  yours. 

Cur.  Troth  now,  prithee  do  give  me  cause  to  rejoice  at 
my  arrival2.     Ph^ed.  (begins  to  fan  him).  By  all  means. 

Cur.  Prithee,  what's  this  you're  about.    Ph^d.  Some  air. 

Cur.  Heally,  for  my  part,  I  don't  want  a  breath  to  be  raised. 

Ph^d.  What  then  ?  Cur.  To  eat,  that  I  may  rejoice  on 
my  arrival. 

Peled.  May  Jupiter  and  the  Deities  confound  you. 

Cur.  I'm  quite  undone ;  I  can  hardly  see ;  my  mouth  is 
bitter ;  my  teeth,  I  find,  are  blunted3  ;  my  jaws  are  clammy 
through  fasting ;  with  my  entrails  thus  lank  with  abstinence 
from  food  am  I  come. 

PhjED.  Tou  shall  eat  something  just  now. 

Cur.  I'  faith,  I  don't  want  "something;"  I'd  rather  have 
what's  fixed  for  certain,  than  your  "  something." 

1  Full  of  bits) — Ver.  312.  He  will  like  the  water  very  well,  if  it  is  in  the  shape 
of  a  rich  soup,  with  plenty  of  meat  in  it. 

2  At  my  arrival) — Ver.  313.  Ventum.  This  word  gives  occasion  to  a  pun 
here,  as,  according  to  the  context,  it  may  either  mean  "  that  I  am  arrived,"  or 
"wind."  The  Parasite  says,  "Give  me  reason  (by  providing  some  victuals)  to 
rejoice  that  I  have  arrived."  Phsedromus  chooses  to  understand  him  as  saying, 
"  Give  me  some  wind,  that  I  may  rejoice,"  and  says  "  By  all  means,"  and  begins 
to  fan  him.  The  other  asks  what  he  is  doing,  or  making;  to  which  he  replies, 
"  Making  some  air." 

*  Are  blunted) — Ver.  318.  It  is  hard  to  say  what  "plenos"  means  when  ap-- 
plied  to  the  teeth — if,  indeed,  that  word  is  the  correct  reading  here. 


Sc.  111.  OE,  THE  FOEGEEY.  545 

Ph^ed.  Aye,  but  if  you  only  knew  what  lias  been  put  by 
for  you. 

Cue.  I'd  very  much  like  to  know  where  it  is;  for  really  it's 
necessary  for  it  and  my  teeth  to  make  acquaintance. 

Pr^ed.  A  gammon  of  bacon,  a  sow's  stomach,  some  udder 
and  kernels  of  the  throat. 

Cue.  What,  all  this  do  you  say  ?  Perhaps  you  mean  that 
they  are  in  the  flesh-market  ? 

Phjed.  In  the  dishes,  I  mean  ;  they've  been  got  ready  for 
you,  since  we  knew  that  you  were  about  to  arrive. 

Cue.  Take  care  you  don't  be  fooling  me. 

Ph^d.  So  may  the  fair  one  love  me  whom  I  love,  I  don't 
say  what's  false.  But  as  to  what  I  sent  you  upon  I'm  none 
the  wiser  yet. 

Cue.  I've  brought  back  nothing.  Phjed.  You've  undone  me. 

Cue.  I  can  find  something,  if  you'll  give  me  your  atten- 
tion. After,  at  your  request,  I  had  set  out,  I  arrived  in 
Caria ;  I  saw  your  friend ;  I  asked  him  to  make  me  a  loan 
of  some  money.  In  answer,  you  were  to  know  that  he  was 
willing  to  oblige  you ;  he  didn't  wish  to  disappoint  you,  as  it 
is  only  proper  that  a  person  who  is  a  friend  should  be  ready,  and 
should  assist  his  friend.  In  a  few  wwds  he  answered  me, 
and  quite  in  confidence,  that  he  also  was  in  the  same  extreme 
want  of  money  as  yourself. 

Ph^d.  By  your  words  you  ensure  my  undoing. 

Cue.  Why  no ;  I'm  saving  you,  and  wish  you  to  be  saved. 
After  this  answer  was  given  me,  I  went  away  from  him  to 
the  Forum,  in  sorrow  that  I  had  applied  to  him  in  vain.  By 
accident  I  espied  a  military  officer;  this  person  1  accosted, 
and  as  I  approached  I  saluted  him.  "  Save  you,"  said  he  to 
me,  took  my  right  hand,  drew  me  aside,  and  asked  me  why  I 
had  come  to  Caria.  I  said  that  I  had  come  there  for  the  sake 
of  amusement.  Upon  this  he  asked  me  whether  I  knew 
a  certain  Lyco,  a  banker  of  Epidaurus.  I  said  I  knew 
him.  "  Well,  and  the  Procurer  Cappadox  ?"  I  answered 
yes,  that  I  had  seen  him.  "  But  what  do  you  want  of  him  ?" 
said  I.  "  Because,"  said  he,  "  I  bought  of  him  a  girl  for 
thirty  minae,  her  clothes  and  golden  jewels  too  ;  and  for  these 
last  ten  minae  more  are  added."  "  Have  you  paid  the  money  ?' 
said  I.  "  No,"  said  he ;  "  it  is  lodged  with  this  Lyco  the 
banker,  whom  I  was  mentioning,  and  I've  instructed  him  that 
2n 


546  CTJRCULIO  ;  Act  II. 

the  person  who  should  bring  a  letter  sealed  with  my  own 
ring,  to  him  he  was  to  give  his  services,  that  he  might 
receive  the  damsel,  with  her  jewels  of  gold  and  her  clothes, 
from  the  Procurer."  After  he  told  me  this,  I  was  going  away 
from  him.  At  once  he  called  me  back,  invited  me  to  dinner ; 
it  was  a  point  of  conscience,  I  was  unwilling  to  refuse  him. 
"What  if  we  go  off  home,  and  take  our  places  at  table?" 
said  he.  The  suggestion  pleased  me  ;  it  is  neither  proper  to 
lengthen  out  the  day,  nor  to  curtail  the  night.  Everything 
was  prepared,  and  we,  for  whom  it  was  prepared,  were  at  our 
places.  After  we  had  dined  and  well  drunk,  he  asked  for 
the  dice  to  be  fetched  him.  He  challenged  me  to  play  with 
him  a  game  of  hazard.  I  staked  my  cloak,  he  staked  his 
ring  against  it ;  he  called  on  the  name1  of  Planesium. 

Ph^id.  What,  my  mistress  ?  Ctjr.  Be  silent  a  while. 
He  threw  a  most  losing  cast2.  I  took  up  the  dice,  and 
invoked  Hercules  as  my  genial  patron3 ;  I  threw  a  first-rate 
cast4,  and  pledged  him  in  a  bumping  cup  ;  in  return  he  drank 
it  off,  reclined  his  head,  and  fell  fast  asleep.  I  slily  took  away 
from  him  the  ring,  and  took  my  legs  quietly  from  off  the  couch, 
so  that  the  Captain  mightn't  perceive  it.  The  servants  en- 
quired whither  I  was  going ;  I  said  that  I  was  going  whither 
persons  when  full  are  wont  to  go.  When  I  beheld  the  door, 
at  once  on  the  instant  I  betook  myself  away  from  the  place. 

Phled.  I  commend  you.      Cue.  Commend  me  when  I've 

1  Called  on  the  name) — Ver.  356.  On  the  custom  of  invoking  their  mistresses, 
when  playing  at  dice,  see  a  Note  to  the  Captivi,  Act  I.,  Sc.  1.  We  are,  per- 
haps, to  suppose  that  the  Captain  takes  off  his  ring  for  the  purpose  of  staking  it, 
which  would  enahle  Curculio  to  steal  it  the  more  easily. 

2  Most  losing  cast)— Ver.  357.  When  playing  with  the  "  tali,"  or  "  knuckle- 
bone dice,"  with  only  four  marked  sides,  they  used  sets  of  four.  "Volturii 
quatuor"  (literally,  "the  four  vultures")  was  the  most  unlucky  throw  of  all,  and 
is  supposed  to  have  been  four  aces. 

8  My  genial  patron) — Ver.  358.  "  Nutricem ;"  literally,  "  nurse."  It  has  been 
suggested  that  the  Parasite  intended  to  compliment  his  entertainer,  the  Captain, 
under  the  name  of  Hercules,  whom  he  invokes  for  luck.  The  Delphin  Commen- 
tator says  that  Parasites  invoked  Hercules  because  the  tenths  of  entertainments 
were  offered  to  him,  and  these  were  distributed  among  the  needy,  in  the  number 
)f  whom  they  ranked. 

4  A  first-rate  cast)— Ver.  259.  The  best  throw  with  the  "  tali"  was  called 
'  Venus"  or  "  Venereus  jactus,"  when  the  dice  turned  up  2,  3,  4,  and  5.  As  it 
war  by  this  throw  that  the  Romans  chose  the  King  of  the  Feast,  it  received  the 
name  of  u  Basilicus,"  "  the  king's  throw."    See  the  last  Scene  in  the  Asinaria. 


Sc.  III.  OB,  THE  FORGERY.  547 

brought  this  thing  about  which  you  desire.  Now  let's  go  iu- 
doors,  that  we  may  seal  the  letter. 

Ph^d.  Do  1  delay  you?-  Cur.  But  let's  cram  down 
something  first,  the  gammon,  the  udder,  and  the  kernels ; 
these  are  the  foundations  for  the  stomach,  with  bread  and 
roast  beef,  a  good-sized  cup  and  a  capacious  pot,  that  counsel 
enough  may  be  forthcoming.  Do  you,  yourself,  seal  the  letter ; 
he'll  do  the  honors  {pointing  to  Palinurus)  while  I  am 
eating.  I'll  dictate  after  what  fashion  you're  to  write.  Follow 
me  this  way,  in-doors. 

Piled.  I  follow.    {They  go  into  the  house  o/'Ph.edromus.) 

Act  III. — Scexe  I. 
Enter  Lyco. 
Lyc.  I  seem  to  be  in  opulence ;  I've  struck  my  balance, 
how  much  money  I  have,  and  how  much  I  owe.  I'm  rich,  if 
I  don't  pay1  those  to  whom  I'm  in  debt.  If  I  do  pay 
those  to  whom  I'm  in  debt,  my  debts  are  the  greatest.  But 
really,  upon  my  faith,  when  I  carefully  consider,  if  they  press 
me  hard,  I'll  resort  to  the  Pra3tor2.  Most  bankers  have  this 
habit,  for  one  to  borrow  of  the  other,  and  to  pay  nobody,  and  to 
discharge  the  debt  with  their  fists,  if  any  one  duns  in  a  loudish 
tone.  The  person  that  has3  in  a  short  time  acquired  wealth, 
unless  in  good  time  he  saves  it,  in  good  time  comes  to  starva- 
tion. I'd  like  to  buy  a  servant  for  myself,  who  now,  hoivever, 
must  be  sought  by  me  on  hire4 :  there's  occasion  for  my  ready 
money. 

Enter  Curculio,  from  the  house,  speaking  to  Phledromus, 
within. 
Cur.  Don't  you  be  reminding  me  now  Tm  full ;  I  recollect 

1  If  I  don't  pay) — Ver.  373.  He  probably  alludes  to  some  shuffling  and  cheating 
methods  by  which  the  bankers  of  the  day  had  recently  distinguished  themselves. 
See  the  Pseudolus,  1.  296  (Act  I.,  Sc.  3). 

2  Resort  to  the  Prcetor) — Ver.  376.  This  was  probably  a  method  with  bankers 
and  traders,  by  which,  for  the  purpose  of  defrauding  their  creditors,  they  sur- 
rendered their  effects  to  the  Prator,  and  by  doing  so,  contrived  to  make  a  purse, 
as  is  too  often  done  by  bankrupts  and  insolvents  at  the  present  day.  In  1.  684 
(Act  V.,  Sc.  3),  we  find  Cappadox  expressing  himself  as  apprehensive  that  Lyco 
will  be  "  taking  the  benefit  of  the  Act." 

3  The  person  that  has)— Ver.  380.  Gueudeville,  in  his  translation,  informs  us 
that  this  maxim  was  much  repeated  by  Louis  XII.  of  France,  who  was  a  great 
admirer  of  Plautus. 

*  Sought  by  vie  on  hire)— Ver.  38?    This  passage  has  been  much  commented 


548  curculio.  Act  III. 

and  understand.  I'll  render  up  to  you  all  this  cleverly  car* 
ried  out ;  do  hold  your  peace.  I'  faith,  I've  surely  filled 
myself  in-doors  right  well,  and  still  in  my  stomach  I've 
left  room  for  one  corner,  in  which  to  stow  away  the  rem- 
nants of  these  remnants.  {Seeing  Ltco.)  Who's  this  that 
with  covered  head  is  saluting  iEsculapius  ?  Heyday,  the  very 
man  I  wanted.  {To  an  Attendant.)  Follow  me.  I'll  make 
pretence  as  though  I  didn't  know  him.  {Aloud.)  Hark  you  ; 
I  want  you. 

Ltc.  {turning  round).  One-eyed  man1,  save  you. 

Cur.  Prithee,  do  you  jeer  me  ?  Ltc.  I  suppose  that  you 
are  of  the  family  of  the  Coclites2 ;  for  they  are  one-eyed. 

Cur.  This  was  knocked  out  for  me  by  a  catapulta,  at 
Sicyon. 

Ltc.  What  matters  it  to  me,  pray,  if  it  had  been  knocked 
out  by  a  broken  pot  with  cinders  in  it  ? 

Cur.  {aside.)  This  fellow's  a  wizard,  surely8 ;  he  tells  the 
truth,  for  such  catapultas  are  often  directed  at  me.  {Aloud.) 
Young  man,  as  I  bear  this  mark  on  my  face4  in  the  service 
of  the  public,  prithee  don't  be  uncivil5  to  me. 

Ltc.  May  I  then  infbrize6  you,  if  I  may  not  incomi- 
tiatize  ? 

Cur.  You  shan't  be  inforizing  me,  indeed;  and  really  I 

on,  as  containing  some  indelicate  meaning.  After  all,  it  seems  clearly  to  mean 
that  he  has  occasion  for  all  his  ready  cash ;  and,  though  he  would  like  to  buy  a 
slave,  he  must  content  himself  with  hiring  one. 

1  One-eyed  man) — Ver.  392.  It  appears  from  this  that  Curculio  has  but  one 
eye.     The  occasion  of  his  losing  it  is  hinted  at  in  1. 396. 

2  Family  of  the  Coclites)— Ver.  393.  "  Coclitum  prosapia"  no  doubt  here  means 
a  general  term,  "  the  family  of  one-eyed  men."  Horatius,  who,  single-handed, 
opposed  the  army  of  Porsenna,  was  called  "  Codes,"  from  having  but  one  eye. 
Pliny  the  Elder  speaks  of  the  Cyclops  and  the  Arimaspians,  a  nation  of  Sarmatia, 
as  having  but  one  eye. 

3  A  wizard,  surely) — Ver.  397.  He  is  surprised  at  Lvco  having  so  exactly  hit 
upon  the  truth.  It  lias  been  already  remarked  thai  Parasites  were  the  especial 
butts  for  practical  jokes.  On  one  of  these  occasions  the  unfortunate  fellow  pro- 
bably lost  his  eye. 

«  4  Bear  this  mark  on  my  face) — Ver.  399.  "  Hoc  intus  milii."  This  passage  ia 
most  probably  corrupt. 

5  Don't  be  uncivil) — Ver.  400.  "  Incomitio"  probably  means,  "  to  treat  nicely," 
or  "  be  uncivil  to  "  Lyco  puns  upon  it,  as  though  meaning,  "  to  bring  before  the 
'  comitia,'  "  or  public  assemblies  of  the  people. 

•  Inforize) — Ver.  401.  In  the  word  "  inforare,"  which  is  coined  for  the  occasion, 
and  signifies  "  to  summon  to  the  Forum,"  it  is  not  improbable  that  an  indecent  pun 
is  intended.  The  liberty  has  been  taken  of  adopting  these  two  words  for  the  occasion. 


Sc.  I.  OR,  THE  FORGERY.  549 

don't  care  at  all  about  your  Forum  or  your  Comitia.  But 
if  you  can  point  me  out  this  person  that  I'm  seeking,  you 
will  be  doing  me  a  real  and  a  great  service.  I'm  looking  for 
Lyco.  the  banker. 

Ltc.  Tell  me  why  you  are  now  seeking  for  him,  or,  of  what 
country  are  you  ?  Cur.  I'll  tell  you :  Tm  cowefrom  Thera- 
pontigonus  Platagidorus,  the  Captain. 

Ltc.  I'  faith,  I  know  the  name:  (aside)  for  with  that 
same  name,  when  I  wrote,  I  filled  four  whole  sides1.  (To 
Curculio.)  But  why  are  you  seeking  for  Lyco  ? 

Cur.  (showing  the  letter).  I've  been  ordered  to  deliver 
this  letter  to  him.     Ltc.  What  person  are  you  ? 

Cur.  His  freed-man,  whom  all  call  Summanus2.  Ltc.  Sum- 
manus,  my  greetings.     But  why  Summanus  ?    Let  me  know. 

Cur.  Because,  when  in  my  drunken  fit  I've  gone  to  sleep, 
I  "summane3"  the  garments;  for  that  reason  do  all  people 
call  me  Summanus. 

Ltc.  'Twere  better  for  you  to  look  out  for  entertainment  for 
you  somewhere  else  ;  really  in  my  own  house  I  have  no  room 
for  a  Summanus.  But  I  am  the  person  that  you  are  looking  for. 

Cur.  Prithee,  are  you  he,  Lyco  the  banker  ? 

Ltc.  I  am.  Cur.  Therapontigonus  requested  me  to  give 
you  a  hearty  greeting,  and  to  deliver  this   letter. 

Ltc.  "What,  to  me  ?  Cur.  Just  so.  Take  it,  recognize 
the  seal.     Do  you  know  it  ?     (Ltco  takes  the  letter.) 

Ltc.  Why  should  I  not  know  it  ?  On  which,  a  man,  holding 
a  shield,  is  cleaving  an  elephant  asunder  with  a  sword. 

Cur.  What's  written  there  he  bade  me  request  you  to  do 
immediately,  if  you  wished  for  his  esteem. 

Ltc.  Step  aside ;  I'll  look  what's  written  in  it. 

Cur.  (stepping  aside).  By  all  means,  at  your  pleasure,  so 
long  as  I  receive  of  you  that  which  I'm  come  for. 

Ltc.  (reads).  "  Therapontigonus  Platagidorus,  the  Captain, 
his  guest,  sends  to  his  host  Lyco,  at  Epidaurus,  right  hearty 
greeting." 

1  Four  whole  sides) — Ver.  410.  "  Ceras."    Waxed  sides  of  a  tablet. 

2  Summanus) — Ver.  413.  There  was  a  Divinity  of  this  name.  See  the  Bac- 
chides,  1.  895  (Act  IV.,  Sc.  8).  The  name,  as  here  coined  by  Curculio,  would, 
perhaps,  answer  to  the  English  "  Mr.  Keep-tight-in-hand." 

3  I  summane) — Ver.  416.  "  Summano."  Literally,  "  I  keep  my  hands  upon." 
For  the  purpose  of  keeping  up  the  spirit  of  the  passage,  the  liberty  has  been  taken 
of  coining  a  word.  The  Parasite  seems  to  allude,  somewhat  obscurely,  to  the  trick 
lie  has  played  the  Captain  Therapontigonus. 


550  curculio  ;  Act  HI. 

Cue.  (aside).  This  fellow'smy  own;  he's  swallowing  the  hook. 

Ltc.  (going  on).  "  I  beg  and  request  of  you  that,  the  person 
who  delivers  this  letter  to  you,  to  him  be  given  up  the  girl 
whom  I  purchased  there  (which  I  did  there  in  your  presence, 
and  you  being  the  negotiator),  and  the  golden  trinkets  and 
clothes  as  well.  You  know  already  how  it  was 'agreed  upon. 
You  give  the  money  to  the  Procurer,  and  give  the  young 
woman  to  this  person."  (To  Ctjeculio.)  Where  is  he  him- 
self?    Why  doesn't  he  come  ? 

Cur.  I'll  tell  you ;  because  it  is  but  four  days  since  we 
arrived  in  Caria,  from  India ;  there  he  now  intends  to  order 
a  solid  golden  statue  to  be  made  of  Philippean  gold,  which 
is  to  be  seven  feet  high — a  memorial  of  his  exploits. 

Lxc.  For  what  reason  this  ?  Cur.  I'll  tell  you ;  why, 
because  within  twenty  days  he  singly  has  subdued  the  Per- 
sians, Paphlagonians,  Smopians,  Arabians,  Cretans,  Syrians, 
E-hodia  and  Lycia,  Peredia  and  Bibesia1,  Centauromachia  and 
Classia  Unomammia2,  and  all  Libya,  and  all  Conterebromia ; 
one  half  even  of  all  nations  has  he  conquered  unaided  in 
twenty  days. 

Ltc.  Dear  me !     Cur.  Why  are  you  surprised  ? 

Lrc.  Why,  because  if  all  these  people  were  penned  up  in 
a  cage  as  close  as  chickens,  even  so  they  couldn't  be  encom- 
passed in  a  year.  Upon  my  faith,  1  do  believe  that  you  are3 
come  from  him  ;  for  you  do  jabber  such  nonsense. 

Cur.  Aye,  and  I  can  tell  you  still  more,  if  you  like. 

Ltc.  No;  I  don't  want  it.  Follow  me  this  way.  I'll 
pay  you  that,  on  account  of  which  you  came  ;  and  lo,  1  see  * 
###  ##### 

1  Peredia  and  Bibesia) — Ver.  444.  Most  of  these  names  are  real,  while  some 
are  fictitious — as,  for  instance,  "  Peredia,"  "  Hungry-land,"  and  "  Bibesia," 
"  Thirsty-land."  By  Centauromachia  he  perhaps  means  Thessaly,  the  country 
of  the  Centaurs ;  though,  possibly,  this  region  may  have  been  too-  near  for  him  to 
hope  to  impose  upon  Lyco. 

2  Classia  Unomammia) — Ver.  445.  "  Classia"  is  supposed  by  Schmieder  to  be 
used  for  "  classis,"  "  an  army."  "  Unomammia,"  "  the  land  of  the  one-breasted 
people,"  may  perhaps  be  an  allusion  to  the  Amazons,  who  were  feigned  to  be  in  the 
habit  of  cutting  off  one  breast,  for  the  purpose  of  using  the  bow  with  greater 
adroitness.  "  Conterebromia"  is  a  name  coined  for  the  occasion,  signifying  "  the 
land  of  piercing." 

3  That  you  are) — Ver.  452.  "  Esse,"  "  to  be"  or  "  to  eat,"  according  to  the  con 
text.  Limiers  suggests  that  a  pun  is  here  in!  ended.  If  so.  it  will  admit  of  eithei 
of  these  meanings,  "  that  you  are  his  servant"  or  "  that  you'eat  at  nis  expense." 


Sc.  I.  OR,  THE  FORGERY.  551 

Enter  Cappadox,  from  his  house. 

Lrc.  Save  you,  Procurer.    Cap.  May  the  Gods  prosper  you. 

Ltc.  Do  you  know  what  this*  is  about  which  I'm  come 
to  you  ?     Cap.  Say  on  what  you  please. 

Lyc.  You  are  to  receive  the  money,  and  to  send  away 
the  young  woman  with  him.     (Pointing  to  Curctjlio.) 

Cap.  But  what  if  I'm  bound  on  oath  to  another  ? 

Lyc.  What  matters  that  to  you,  so  long  as  you  get  the 
money?  Cap.  He  who  advises  is  as  good  as  an  accomplice. 
Do  you  follow. 

Ctir.  Procurer,  take  care  that  you  don't  cause  me  any 
delay.  (They  go  into  the  house  of  Cappadox.) 

Act  IV. — Scene  I. 
Enter  the  Choregus1,  as  Chorus. 
Chor.  By  my  faith,  Phaedromus  has  cleverly  met  with  this 
clever  rogue ;  but  whether  a  salt-water  rogue3  or  a  dry-land  one 
I'm  the  rather  to  say  he  is,  I  really  don't  know.  The  costume 
that  I've  lent  I  fear  I  shan't  get  back.  Although  I  have  nothing 
whatever  to  do  with  him  (I  trusted  Phsedromus  himself),  still 
I'll  keep  an  eye  upon  him.  But  until  he  comes  out  of  doors, 
I'll  point  out  in  what  place  you  may  easily  meet  with  each 
person,  that  he  mayn't  lose  his  labour  through  too  much 
trouble,  if  any  one  wishes  to  meet  either  a  rascal  or  one 
without  rascality,  or  an  honest  man  or  a  dishonest  one.  He 
who  desires  to  meet  with  a  perjured  fellow,  let  him  go  into 
the  courts  of  law3 ;  he  who  wants  a  liar  and  a  braggart,  near 
the  rites  of  .Cloacina4.  The  rich  and  erring  husbands  seek 
you  at  the  magisterial  halls  of  the  Basilica.     There,  too,  will 

1  The  Choregtts)  The  "  Choregus"  was  the  person  who  had  the  care  of  the 
aresses  and  decorations  for  the  actors,  and  provided  the  Choruses.  See  the  Tri- 
nummus,  1.  858  (Act  IV.,  Sc.  »> 

-  Salt-water  rogue)— Ver.  463.  "  Halophantam."  The  "  halophantae"  were 
those  who  informed  against  the  exporters  of  salt  contrary  to  law,  as  the  "  syco- 
phantse"  did  against  the  exporters  of  figs.  The  Choregus  is  using  a  choice  of 
names  for  the  same  thing,  as  he  means  to  say,  "  call  him  by  what  name  you  will, 
Curculio  is  a  clever  rogue."  It  is  not  possible  to  translate  the  passage  literally  and 
preserve  the  spirit  of  it  at  the  same  time. 

3  Into  the  courts  of  law) — Ver.  470.  The  "  Comitium"  was  a  place  in  the 
Roman  Forum,  near  the  "  Curia,"  where  trials  were  carried  on  before  the  Prsetor. 
It  was  near  the  "  Puteal  Libonis,"  or  "  Scribonianum,"  where  witnesses  were 
sworn,  and  perjured  people  were  to  be  found,  ready  to  give  false  testimony. 

4  Rites  of  Cloacina)— Ver.  471.  Venus  is  susuwsed  to  have  been  called  by  thks 


552  cubculio  ?  Act  IV. 

be  the  worn-out  harlots,  and  those  who  are  wont  to  haggle  for 
them.  Contributors  to  pic-nic  dinners1  you'll  find  in  the  fish- 
market.  In  the  lower  part  of  the  Forum  good  men2  and 
opulent  do  walk ;  in  the  middle,  near  the  canal3,  there  are 
the  mere  puffers-off.  Beyond  the  lake4  of  Gurtius  are  impu- 
dent, talkative,  and  malevolent  fellows,  who  boldly,  without 
reason,  utter  calumnies  about  another,  and  who,  themselves, 
have  sufficient  that  might  with  truth  be  said  against  them. 
There,  at  the  old  shops5,  are  those  who  lend  and  those  who 
borrow  at  interest.  Behind  the  Temple  of  Castor  there 
are  those  to  whom  unguardedly  you  may  be  lending  to  your 
cost.  There,  in  the  Etrurian  street,  are  those  men  who  hold 
themselves6  on  sale.  In  the  Velabrum7  you  11  find  either 
baker,  or  butcher,  or  soothsayer ;  either  those  who  sell 
retail  themselves,  or  supply  to  others  things  to  be  sold  by 
retail.  Eich  sinning  husbands  you'll  find  at  the  house  of 
Oppian  Leucadia8.  But,  meantime,  the  door  makes  a  noise ; 
I  must  curb  my  tongue.  {Exit. 

name,  from  her  statue  having  been  once  found  in  the  "  Cloacae,"  or  sewer  of  Rome. 
He  alludes  to  the  neighbourhood  of  her  Temple,  in  which  Plautus  himself  is  said 
to  have  dwelt.     The  "  Basilica"  has  been  mentioned  in  a  previous  Note. 

1  Pic-nic  dinners) — Ver.  474.  The  "  symbolae,"  or  "  pic-nic  entertainments," 
have  been  referred  to  in  the  Notes  to  the  Stichus.  They  were  probably  got  up  on 
a  cheap  scale. 

2  Good  men) — Ver.  475.  u  Boni"  is  here  used  in  the  sense  of  "  opulent,"  "  men 
of  substance." 

3  Near  the  canal) — Ver.  476.  The  banks  of  this  canal  were  much  resorted  to 
by  walkers.     It  is  not  accurately  known  in  what  part  of  Rome  it  was  situate. 

4  Beyond  the  lake) — Ver.  477.  He  probably  alludes  to  the  former  site  of  the 
Curtian  Lake,  which,  in  his  time,  was  dried  up.  Ovid  says,  in  the  Fasti,  B.  vu, 
1.  401,  u  This  place,  where  now  are  the  markets,  formerly  fenny  marshes  covered ; 
a  ditch  was  here  swimming  with  water  from  the  overflowing  of  the  river.  That 
spot  formed  the  Curtian  Lake,  which  now  supports  the  altars  on  dry  ground :  'tis 
now  dry  ground,  but  once  it  was  a  lake."  It  is  not  a  little  amusing,  that  though 
the  Scene  is  in  Epidaurus,  Plautus  is  here  discussing  Roman  scenes  and  manners. 

5  The  old  shops) — Ver.  481.  He  probably  alludes  to  the  old  shops  in  the  Forum, 
which  were  the  property  of  the  state,  and  were  let  out  to  the  bankers  and  money- 
lenders. 

8  Who  hold  themselves) — Ver.  482.  Horace  alludes  to  the  "  turba  impia," 
the  "impious  throng,"  of  the  Etrurian  street. 

7  Velabrum)— Ver.  484.  See  the  Captivi,  1.  494  (Act  III.,  Sc.  1). 

'  Oppian  Leucadia) — Ver.  485.  The  best  solution  of  the  meaning  of  this 
passage  seems  to  be,  that  he  is  alluding  to  a  woman  named  Leucadia,  a  freed 
woman  of  the  Oppian  family,  whose  house  was  a  rendezvous  for  riotous  and  de- 
bauched husbands. 


Sc.  II.  OR,  THE  FORGERY.  553 

Scene  II. — Enter,  from  the  house  of  Cappadox,  Curculio, 
leading  Planesium,  followed  by  Ltco  and  Cappadox 

Cur.  Maiden,  do  you  go  before;  what  is  behind  me  I 
cannot  keep  my  eye  upon.  Both  the  trinkets  of  gold,  and  all 
the  clothing  tljat  she  had,  were  his  own,  he  said. 

Cap.  No  one  is  going  to  deny  it.  Cur.  Still,  however,  it's 
somewhat  better  for  me  to  remind  you. 

Lyc.  Remember  that  you've  undertaken,  that,  if  any  one 
should  assert  in  course  of  law  that  she's  properly  free,  all  the 
money  is  to  be  returned  to  me — thirty  minae. 

Cap.  I  shall  remember  ;  be  easy  about  that ;  and  now  I  say 
the  same.     Cur.  But  I  wish  you  to  remember  this  well. 

Cap.  I  remember,  and  I  shall  deliver  her  to  you  on  war- 
ranty1. 

Cur.  And  am  I  to  take  anything  on  warranty  from  a  Pro- 
curer, people  who  have  nothing  of  their  own  except  a  tongue 
only  ;  who,  if  anything's  entrusted  them,  deny  it  upon  oath? 
You  Procurers  dispose  of  what  belongs  to  others,  you  give 
liberty  to  what  belongs  to  others,  and  what  belongs  to  others 
your  give  your  commands  to  ;  no  guarantee  of  ownership  is 
there  in  the  transfer  to  yourselves,  nor  are  you  yourselves 
guarantees  to  another  person.  The  race  of  Procurers,  among 
mortals,  in  my  way  of  thinking  at  least,  are  just  like  flies, 
gnats,  bugs,  lice,  and  fleas — a  plague,  a  mischief,  and  a  nui- 
sance ;  you  are  of  no  serviceable  use,  and  no  respectable  per- 
son dares  to  stand  with  you  in  the  Forum  ;  he  that  does 
associate  with  you,  they  censure  him,  he's  spat  upon  and 
abused;  they  say  that  he  has  lost  his  property  and  his 
honor,  although  he  has  done  nothing  at  all. 

,Lyc.  Upon  my  faith,  my  clever  one-eyed  friend,  in  my  way 
of  thinking,  you  are  well  acquainted  with  the  Procurers. 

Cur.  You  bankers,  i'  faith,  I  put  and  place  in  the  same 
rank ;  you  are  the  very  counterparts  of  them.  They,  at 
least,  are  on  sale  in  dark  corners,  you  in  the  very  Forum2. 
You  tear  men  to  pieces  with  usury,  they  by  persuading  them 
amiss  and  by  means  of  their  dens.     Full  many  a  proposed  sta- 

1  On  warranty) — Ver.  495.  u  Dare  mancupio"  meant,  "  to  sell  a  thing  upon 
warranty,"  which,  when  formally  done,  was  effected  "  per  aes  et  libram,"  by 
striking  the  balance  with  an  "as,"  in  the  presence  of  six  witnesses,  when  the. 
seller  guaranteed  the  possession  of  it  to  the  purchaser. 

2  In  the  very  Forum)— Ver.  507.  In  allusion  to  the  place  where  most  jf  the 
bankers'  shops  were  situate. 


551  CUBCLL10  ;  Act  IV. 

tute1  has  the  public  confirmed  on  your  account,  which  when 
confirmed  you  break;  some  loophole  you  find  out ;  just  as 
boiling  water  becomes  cold,  so  do  you  deem  the  laws. 

Ltc.  {aside).  I'd  rather  I'd  held  my  tongue.  Cap.  Not 
wrongfully,  and  with  good  reason,  are  you  abusive  against  them. 

Cub.  If  abuse  is  uttered  against  those  who  deserve  it  not, 
that  I  do  hold  to  be  abuse  ;  but  if  it  is  uttered  against 
those  who  are  deserving,  it  is  fair  censure,  in  my  way  01 
thinking,  at  least.  I  care  nothing  about  your  warranty, 
nor  about  any  other  Procurer  whatever.  Lyco,  do  you  want 
anything  with  me  ? 

Ltc.  Heartily  fare  you  well.     Cue.  Farewell.     {Going.) 

Cap.  Hark  you !  I  say  to  you r 

Cub.  Say  on  ;  what  do  you  want  ? 

Cap.  Prithee  do  you  take  care  that  all's  well  with  her 
{pointing  to  Planesium)  ;  I've  brought  her  up  in  my  house 
carefully  and  in  chastity. 

Cub.  If  you  have  such  compassion  for  her,  pray,  what 
would  you  give  for  it  to  be  all  well  with  her  ? 

Cap.  A  plaguy  mishap  for  yourself. 

Cub.  You  need  take  due  care  on  that  score  about  yourself. 

Cap.  {to  Planesium,  who  is  weeping).  Why,  simpleton, 
do  you  cry  ?  Don't  be  afraid ;  upon  my  faith,  I've  sold  you 
favourably.  Take  care,  "uill  you,  and  be  a  good  girl ;  now 
prettily  accompany  him,  pretty  one. 

Ltc.  Summanus,  do  you  want  anything  with  me  at  pre- 
sent? Cur.  Pare  you  well,  and  health  attend  you.  {Aside.) 
For  you've  kindly  given  me  your  services  and  your  money. 

Ltc.  Give  abundant  greetings  to  my  patron. 

Cub.  I'll  give  them.  {Exit  with  Planesium. 

Ltc.  Procurer,  do  you  wish  for  anything  ? 

Cap.  Give  me  those  ten  minae  for  me  to  manage  for  myself 
with,  until  things  are  better  with  me.  Ltc.  They  shall  be 
paid  ;  order  them  to  be  fetched  to-morrow.  {Exit. 

Cap.  Since  I've  successfully  finished  the  matter,  I  wish 
to  return  thanks  here  in  the  Temple.  For  long  since,  when  a 
little  girl,  I  bought  her  for  ten  minse  ;  but  him  who  sold  her 
to  me,  never  since  then  have  I  set  eyes  upon.  I  think  he's 
dead.  "What  matters  that  to  me  ?  I've  got  the  money.  The 
man  to  whom  the  Gods  are  propitious,  for  him,  no  doubt,  they 

1  Proposed  statute) — Ver.  509.  "  Rogitatio,"  or,  more  commonly,  "  rogatio,"  was 
the  term  applied  to  a  proposed  law,  or  decree  of  the  people,  or  "  plebiscitum." 


8c.  III.  OB,  THE  FORGERY.  555 

throw  gain  in  his  way.  Now  will  I  give  my  attention  to 
my  devotions  ;  it's  clear  that  he  has  a  kind  regard  for  me. 
(Goes  into  the  Temple.) 

Scene  III. — Enter  Therapontigonus1  and  Ltco. 

Ther.  I'm  come  now,  inflamed  with  wrath  in  no  moderate 
degree,  but  with  that  same  with  which  I've  learned  to  deal 
destruction  upon  cities.  At  once  now,  unless  this  moment 
you  make  haste  instantly  to  pay  me  the  thirty  minae  which  I 
left  with  you,  make  haste  to  lay  down  your  life. 

Ltc.  By  my  troth,  to  no  little  mischief  do  I  now  devote 
you,  but  to  that  same  to  which  I  am  wont  to  devote  that 
man  to  whom  I  owe  nothing  at  all. 

Ther.  Don't  you  be  making  yourself  bold  with  me,  or 
suppose  that  I  shall  be  entreating  you. 

Ltc.  And  you,  indeed,  shall  never  force  me  to  pay  you 
what  has  been  paid,  nor  shall  I  give  it  you. 

Ther.  I  thought  this,  when  I  entrusted  you  with  it,  that 
you  would  repay  nothing  at  all. 

Ltc.  Why  then  are  you  now  asking  it  back  of  me  ? 

Ther.  I  wish  to  know  to  whom  you  have  paid  it. 

Ltc.  To  your  one-eyed  freed-man ;  he  said  that  he  was 
called  Summanus ;  I  paid  it  to  him,  who  brought  me  this 
sealed  letter.     (Gives  him  the  letter.) 

Ther.  What  letter  of  mine,  what  one-eyed  freed-man, 
what  people  called  Summanus  are  you  dreaming  about  ?  I 
really  have  no  freed-man  at  all. 

Ltc.  Tou  act  more  wisely  than  a  portion  of  the  military 
men  who  have  freed-men,  and  then  forsake  them. 

Ther.  What  have  you  done  ?  Ltc.  What  you  requested 
me,  I've  done  for  your  sake,  that  I  mightn't  slight  the 
messenger  who  had  brought  your  seal's  impression. 

Ther.  More  fool  than  fool  were  you  to  give  credit  to  this 
letter. 

Ltc.  To  that  by  which  matters  both  public  and  private 
are  carried  on  ought  I  not  to  have  given  credit  ?  I'll  be  off; 
the  money  has  been  properly  paid  you.     Warrior,  farewell. 

Ther.  How — farewell  ?  Ltc.  Fare  you  ill  then,  if  you 
choose, — aye,  all  your  life,  so  far  as  I'm  concerned.    {Exit. 

Ther.  What  shall  I  do  now  ?     Of  what  use  is  it  that  I 

1  Therapontigonus) — He  seems  to  be  a  milder  member  of  the  class  of  braggarts, 
of  which  Pyrgopolinices,  in  the  Miles  Gloriosus,  is  so  admirable  a  specimen. 


55G  curculio  ;  Act  IV 

have  caused  kings  to  obey  me,  if  this  obscure  fellow1  is  this 
day  to  laugh  at  me  ? 

Scene  IV. — Enter  CappadoXj/tow  the  Temple. 

Cap.  (to  himself).  The  man  to  whom  the  Gods  are  pro- 
pitious, they  cannot,  I  think,  be  angered  with  him.  After  I 
had  finished  my  devotions,  it  then  came  into  my  mind,  lest 
the  banker  should  abscond,  to  go  fetch  the  money,  that  I 
may  make  good  cheer  rather  than  he. 

Ther.  I  had  left  my  compliments  for  you  at  your  house. 

Cap.  Therapontigonus  Platagidorus,  save  you;  since  you 
are  come  safe  to  Epidaurus  this  day,  at  my  house — you  won't 
lick  up  one  grain  of  salt2. 

Ther.  You  give  me  a  kind  invitation ;  things,  however, 
are  in  a  train  for  it  to  go  badly  with  yourself.  But  how 
fares  my  purchase  at  your  house  ? 

Cap.  Why,  not  at  my  house  at  all.  Don't  be  bringing 
your  witnesses — assuredly,  I  don't  owe  you  anything. 

Ther.  How's  that? 

Cap.  "What  I  was  bound  on  oath  to  do,  I've  done. 

Ther.  Will  you  give  me  up  the  girl  or  not,  before  I  spit 
you  with  this  sabre  of  mine,  you  whip-scoundrel  ? 

Cap.  I  bid  ycu  go  to  perdition  with  all  my  heart ;  don?t 
you  be  terrifying  me.  She  has  been  carried  off;  you  shall 
be  carried  off  hence  away  from  me,  beyond  a  doubt,  if  you 
persist  in  abusing  me,  to  whom  I  owe  nothing  but  a  punishing. 

Ther.    What,  threaten  me  with  a  punishing  ? 

Cap.  Aye,  and  by  my  troth,  I'll  not  be  threatening,  but 
I'll  give  it,  if  you  persist  in  being  impertinent  to  me. 

Ther.  A  Procurer,  forsooth,  threatening  me;  and  are  my 
combats  in  battle,  so  many  in  number,  lying  trodden  under 
foot  ?    But  so  may  my  sabre  and  my  shield  * 

#  *  *  trustily  aid  me  when  fighting  in  the 

field ;  unless  the  girl  is  restored  to  me,  I'll  at  once  cause  th( 
ants  to  carry  you  away  piecemeal  from  this  spot. 

Cap.  And  so  may  my  tweezers3,  my  comb,  my  looking- 

1  Obscure  fellow') — Ver.  556.  "  Umbraticus,"  a  low  fellow,  a  haunter  of  obscure 
places. 

2  Lick  up  one  grain  of  salt)  —  Ver.  562.  He  pretends  that  he  is  going  tc 
invite  him;  but,  stopping  short,  ends  by  saying  that  he  shall  not  even 
taste  salt  with  him.  "AXaXf^etv,  ''  to  lick  salt,"  Erasmus,  in  his  Adagia,  telia 
as  was  a  proverbial  expression,  denoting  "to  live  sparingly." 

*  So  may  my  tweezers) — Ver.  576.  We  might  almost  fancy  that  it  was  a  barber 


Sc.  IY.  OR,  THE  FORGERY.  557 

glass,  my  Crispin g-iron,  and  my  hair-scissors  and  scrubbing- 
towel  love  me  well,  I  don't  value  your  high-sounding  words, 
nor  these  big  threats  of  yours,  a  bit  the  more  than  my  ser- 
vant-girl that  washes  out  my  sink.  I've  given  her  up  to 
him  who  brought  the  money  from  you. 

Ther.  What  person  was  that  ?  Cap.  He  said  that  he 
was  Summanus,  your  freed-man. 

Ther.  Mine  ?  You  don't  say  so  ;  i'  faith,  it's  that  Curculio 
that  has  put  a  trick  upon  me,  when  I  think  upon  it ;  he  stole 
my  ring  from  me. 

Car.  (aside).  The  Captain  has  been  finely  appointed  to  a 
cashiered  company1. 

Ther.  Where  now  shall  I  find  Curculio2  ? 

Cap.  In  some  wheat  with  the  greatest  ease  I'll  make  you 
find  even  five  hundred  Curculios  instead  of  one.  Therefore 
I'm  off;  fare  you  well,  and  my  service  to  you.  (Exit. 

Ther.  Fare  you  ill,  a  plague  attend  you.  What  shall  I 
do  ?  Shall  I  stop  or  go  away  ?  That  I  should  have  been 
imposed  upon  in  this  way  !  I'd  like  to  give  a  reward  to  him 
who  would  point  out  that  fellow  to  me.  (Exit. 

Act  Y. — Scene  I. 
Enter  Curculio,  with  a  ring,  from  the  house  o/Phi:deomus. 
Cur.  I've  heard  that  an  ancient  Poet3  wrote  in  a  Tragedy, 
that  two  women  are  worse  than  one ;  such  is  the  fact.  But 
a  more  crafty  woman  than  is  this  mistress  of  Phaedromus,  I 
never  saw  or  heard  of,  nor,  i'  faith,  can  one  be  spoken  of  or 
imagined ;  she,  as  soon  as  ever  she  saw  that  I  had  got  this 
ring,  asked  me  whence  I  got  it.  "  Why  do  you  ask  that  ?"  said 
I.  "  Because  I've  need  to  know,"  said  she.  I  said  I  wouldn't 
tell  her.  To  get  it  away,  she  seized  hold  of  my  hand  with  her 
teeth.  With  much  ado  I  betook  me  out  of  doors,  and  made 
my  escape.     Away  with  this  slut4. 

speaking,  from  this  mention  of  the  implements  of  his  trade.  Probably  Cappadox 
employed  these  articles  himself,  in  putting  the  best  appearance  upon  his  com- 
modities, that  they  might  the  more  readily  attract  the  public. 

1  Appointed  to  a  cashiered  company') — Ver.  585.  He  remarks  that  the  Captain 
has  been  made  a  fool  of,  just  in  the  same  way  as  if  he  had  received  a  commission 
in  a  disbanded  maniple,  or  company. 

2  Find  Curculio) — Ver.  586.  He  asks  where  he  can  find  Curculio.  That  word 
signifying  not  only  the  Parasite's  name,  but  "a  weevil"  as  wel.',  Cappadox  tells  him 
that  he  may  find  hundreds  of  them  in  wheat. 

*  An  ancient  Poet) — Ver.  591.  Who  this  ancient  Poet  was,  is  not  known. 

*  This  slut)— Ver.  598.  "  Caniculam."     "  Little  bitch." 


558  cueculio;  Act  V. 

Scene  II. — Enter  Planesium,  followed  by  Ph^dromus, 

from  his  house. 

Plan.  My  Phaedromus,  make  haste. 

Phjsd.  Make  haste  for  what?  Plan.  That  you  mayn't 
let  the  Parasite  escape ;  the  affair's  of  consequence. 

Phjed.  Nothing  have  l1  of  consequence ;  for  what  I  did 
have  I  quickly  made  away  with  ?  (Seizes  Cueculio.)  I've 
got  him  ;  what's  the  matter  ? 

Plan.  Ask  him  whence  he  got  that  ring :  my  father  used 
to  wear  it.      Cur.  Why,  troth,  and  so  did  my  aunt. 

Plan.  My  mother  gave  it  him  to  wear. 

Cur.  And  your  father,  in  his  turn,  to  me. 

Plan.  Ton  are  talking  nonsense. 

Cur.  I'm  in  the  habit ;  for  by  reason  of  it  I  make  a  live- 
lihood the  more  easily.    What  is  the  matter  now  ? 

Plan.  I  entreat  you,  don't  be  keeping  me  from  finding  my 
parents. 

Cur.  How  can  I  ?  Have  I  got  your  father  and  mother 
hidden  beneath  the  stone  ?     (Holding  up  the  ring.) 

Plan.  I  was  born  a  free  woman. 

Cur.  And  so  were  many  others,  who  are  now  in  servitude. 

Plan.  Really  now,  I'm  vexed.  Cur.  For  my  part,  I've 
told  you  how  this  came  into  my  possession.  How  often 
must  you  be  told  ?   I  cheated  the  Captain  at  dice,  I  tell  you. 

Enter  Therapontigonus. 

Ther.  (eyeing  Curculio).  I'm  all  right;  see,  here  he  is 
whom  I  was  looking  for.     How  do  you  do,  good  sir  ? 

Cur.  I  hear  you ;  three  casts  of  the  dice,  if  you  like,  even 
for  that  scarf  of  yours. 

Ther.  "Why  don't  you  go  to  very  perdition,  with  your 
casts  and  catch-pennies2  ?  Either  give  me  back  the  money 
or  the  young  woman  ? 

Cur.  (with  an  air  of  surprise) .  What  money  ?  what  rub- 
bish are  you  talking  about  to  me  ?     What  young  woman  are 

1  Nothing  have  I) — Ver.  600.  Planesium  says,  "res,"  "  the  affair,"  is  urgent. 
Phsedromus,  understanding  the  word  as  meaning  "  property,"  says,  "  I've  got 
none ;  what  I  had,  I  soon  squandered." 

2  Casts  and  catch-pennies') — Ver.  612.  "Cum  bolis,  cum  bulbis."  Literally 
"  with  your  casts  of  dice  and  your  onions."  He  probably  uses  the  word  "  bulbis" 
solely  for  its  similarity  to  "bolis,"  by  way  of  alliteration.  A  little  variation  ia 
made  ir.  the  translation,  to  keep  the  spirit  of  the  passage,  which  it  is  impossiblo 
to  do  by  adhering  to  the  letter. 


Sc.  II.  OK,  THE  FORGERY.  559 

you  demanding  back  of  me  ?  Ther.  The  one  that  you  took 
away  this  day  from  the  Procurer,  you  scoundrelly  fellow. 

Cur.  I  took  none  away.  Ther.  Why,  surely,  I  see  her. 
There  she  is.     (Pointing  to  Planesium.) 

Ph2ED.  This  young  woman  is  free.  Ther.  What,  my 
female  slave  free,  to  whom  I  have  never  given  her  liberty  ? 

Ph^d.  Who  gave  you  possession  of  her,  or  of  whom  did 
you  buy  her  ?  Let  me  know  that  ?  Ther.  Why,  I  paid  the 
money  for  her  through  my  banker — a  sum  which  I'll  have  re- 
funded to  me  fourfold  by  you  and  the  Procurer. 

Ph^d.  Tou,  who  understand  how  to  traffic  in  young 
women,  kidnapped  and  of  free  birth,  come  you  before  the 
judge.     Ther.  I  shan't  come. 

Ph^d.  I  may  call  my  witness1  to  the  summons. 

Ther.  No,  you  mayn't.  Phjsd.  May  Jupiter  then  utterh 
confound  you :  live  without  witnesses2  then. 

Ctjr.  But  I'm  a  person  that  he  may  summon. 

Phased,  (to  Curculio).  Do  you  step  this  way. 

Ther.  What  ?  A  slave  summoned  as  a  witness  ?  Take  you 
care.     Cur.  Well,  that  you  may  know  it,  I'm  free. 

Ther.  Then  come  before  the  judge.  There's  for  you: 
take  that.     (Gives  him  a  blow.) 

Cur.  O  townsmen,  townsmen,  help. 

Ther.  Why  do  you  bawl  so  ? 

Ph^d.  What  right  have  you  to  strike  him  ? 

Ther.  Because  I  choose.  Ph^d.  (to  Curculio).  Step 
this  way  you  (pushes  him  towards  the  Captain)  ;  there,  I'll 
give  him  up  to  you.     Hold  your  noise. 

Cur.  Phsedromus,  prithee  do  save  me. 

Ph^d.  As  I  would  myself  and  my  own  good  Genius.  Cap- 
tain, prithee,  do  tell  me  whence  you  got  that  ring,  which 
this  Parasite  purloined  from  you. 

Plan",  (kneeling  before  the  Captain).  By  your  knees,  I 

1  Call  my  witness) — Ver.  621.  It  was  a  custom  with  the  Romans,  when  a  man 
was  summoned  by  another  to  go  with  him  at  once  before  the  Prsetor,  for  the  plain- 
tiff, if  the  defendant  would  not  go  quietly,  to  call  any  bystander  to  be  witness  (an- 
testari)  that  he  had  been  duly  summoned ;  and,  having  touched  the  ear  of  the 
witness,  the  latter  was  bound  to  aid  in  dragging  the  defendant  to  court.  Only  freo 
persons  could  be  witnesses.  For  this  reason  the  Captain  tells  Phajdroinus  that  he 
cannot  summon  a  witness  on  this  occasion,  as  he  knows  that  Planesium  is  not  free, 
and  supposes  that  Curculio  is  also  a  slave. 

2  Without  vntnesses}—Ver.  622.  "  Intestatus."  An  indelicate  allusion  is  in- 
tended in  this  line. 


560  CURCULTO ;  Act  V. 

do  entreat  you  to  give  us  that  information.  Thee.  What 
matters  that  to  you  ?  You  might  as  well  ask  after  this  sabre 
and  this  scarf,  how  each  came  into  my  possession. 

Cur.  What  airs  the  swaggerer  does  give  himself! 

Ther.  Send  that  fellow  away  {pointing  to  Curculio)  ; 
then  I'll  tell  you  all.     Cur.  It's  nonsense  what  he  says.    . 

PhjED.  Prithee,  do  let  me  know.  Ther.  I'll  tell  you :  (to 
Planesium)  get  up.  Listen  to  this  matter,  and  give  atten- 
tion.    My  father  Periphanes  used  to  wear  it. 

Plan.  Ha !  Periphanes  ?  Ther.  He,  before  he  died,  gave 
it  to  me  as  being  his  son,  as  it  was  right  he  should. 

Plan.  0  Jupiter ! 

Ther.  And  on  that  occasion  he  made  me  his  heir. 

Plan.  O  filial  affection,  do  thou  preserve  me,  since  I  have 
carefully  preserved  thee.     Welcome,  my  brother. 

Ther.  How  am  I  to  believe  that  ?  Tell  me,  if  you  are 
speaking  the  truth,  who  was  your  mother  ? 

Plan.  Cleobula.     Ther.  Who  was  your  nurse  ? 

Plan.  Archestrata.  Amid  the  sacred  rites  of  Bacchus 
she  had  carried  me  to  see  the  sights  *  *  * 

*  *  *  *     after  we  had  come  thither,  when 

now  she  had  found  me  a  place,  a  whirlwind  arose1 ;  the  scaf- 
folding2 of  the  stage  there  tumbled  down ;  I  was  greatly 
alarmed,  and  then  some  one,  I  know  not  who,  seized  hold 
of  me  trembling  and  frightened,  neither  alive  nor  dead;  and 
in  what  manner  he  carried  me  off  I  cannot  say. 

Ther.  I  recollect  that  disturbance  happening  ;  but,  do  you 
tell  me,  where  is  this  person,  who  carried  you  away  ? 

Plan.  I  know  not ;  but  (showing  a  ring)  this  ring  I  have 
all  along  preserved  by  me,  with  it  long  since  was  I  lost. 

Ther.  Give  it  me  to  look  at. 

Cur.  (to  Planesium).  Are  you  in  your  senses  to  be 
trusting  it  to  that  fellow  ?     (Holds  her  arm.) 

Plan.  Do  you  only  leave  me  alone.  (She  gives  it  to  the 
Captain.)  Ther.  (examining  it).  O  Jupiter!  This  is  the 
same  that  I  presented  you  upon  your  birthday ;  I  recognize 
it  as  easily  as  my  own  self.     Welcome  to  you,  my  sister. 

1  A  whivlmnd  arose) — Ver.  646.  Man)  mishaps  appear  to  have  happened  to 
families  through  the  lawlessness  and  violence  of  which  the  Festivals  of  the  Divi- 
nities were  the  occasion. 

2  The  scaffolding)— Ver.  647.  Snetonins  tells  us  that  the  reign  of  Tiberius  wai 
rendered  memorable  by  the  fall  of  the  scaffolding;  in  the  theatre  of  Fidens. 


Sc.  III.  OB,  THE  FORGERY.  561 

Plan.  My  brother,  welcome  to  you. 

Ph^d.  I  trust  the  Grods  will  prosper  this  matter  for  you. 

Cur.  And  I,  for  all  of  us.  (To  the  Captain.)  Do  you,  as 
having  this  day  arrived,  give  a  dinner  in  honor  of  your  sister ; 
he  (pointing  to  Ph&dromus),  to-morrow,  will  give  one  in 
honor  of  his  marriage  ;  we  promise  that. 

Piled,  (to  Curculio).  Do  you  hold  your  tongue. 

Cur.  I  shan't  hold  my  tongue,  as  things  are  turning  out 
so  well.  Captain,  do  you  promise  her  to  him ;  I'll  give  the 
marriage-portion.     Ther.  What  is  the  marriage-portion  ? 

Cur.  "What,  that  I  give  ?  Why,  that  always  as  long  as 
he  lives  he's  to  feed  me. 

Ther.  I'  troth,  he  says  what's  fair ;  with  my  consent  you 
shall  do  so.     But  this  Procurer  owes  me  the  thirty  minse. 

PHiED.  Por  what  reason  so  ? 

Ther.  Because  he  agreed  with  me  on  these  terms  to 
give  it  back :  that  if  any  one  should  assert  her  to  be  free  born 
in  due  course  of  law,  he  would,  without  dispute,  pay  back  all 
the  money. 

Cur.  Then  let's  go  to  the  Procurer.     Ther.  I  agree. 

Ph^d.  This  first  I  wish ;  to  despatch  my  matter. 

Ther.  What's  that  ?  Phjsd.  That  you  will  betroth  her  to 
me.     (The  Captain  considers.) 

Cur.  Why  do  you  hesitate,  Captain,  to  give  her  as  a  wife 
to  him  ?     Ther.  If  she  is  agreable. 

Plan.  My  brother,  it  is  my  wish. 

Ther.  So  be  it  then.     Cur.  Tou  do  rightly. 

Ph.ed.  Captain,  do  you  betroth  me  to  her  for  my  wife  ? 

Ther.  I  do  betroth  her.  Ph^id.  (pointing  to  Curculio). 
And  to  him  do  I  promise  support  at  my  expense. 

Cur.  You  do  kindly.     But         *  *  *  * 

#  *  #  # 

Ther.  *****        But 

see,  here's  the  Procurer  coming  ;  my  treasurer1, 1  mean. 

Scene  III. — Enter  Cappadox,  in  haste. 
Cap.  (to  himself).  Those  who  say2  it's  bad  for  bankers  to 

1  My  treasurer) — Ver.  677.  In  allusion  to  the  money  which  he  intends  to 
have  back  from  the  Procurer.  "  Thesaurum"  seems  here  to  have  the  signification 
of  "  treasurer"  or  "  treasury." 

2  Those  who  say) — Ver.  679.  This  and  the  following  line  are  clearly  in  a  very 
corrupt  state.     Indeed,  it  is  hard  to  gather  any  sense  whatever  from  them. 


562  cuecvlio;  Act  V. 

be  trusted,  utter  nonsense ;  I  say  it's  neither  good  nor  bad 
for  them  to  be  trusted,  and  that,  I've  fully  experienced  this 
day.  They  are  not1  badly  trusted,  who  never  repay,  but  with 
whom  it  is  lost  outright.  As  for  example,  before  this  Lyco 
paid  me  the  ten  minae,  he  had  to  go  to  every  banker's 
counter.  After  there  were  no  proceeds,  I  summoned  the 
fellow  with  much  noise ;  he  appealed  against  me  to  the  court. 
I  was  most  confoundedly  afraid  that  this  day  he'd  be  settling 
accounts  with  me  before  the  Praetor2 ;  but  my  friends  forced 
him,  so  he  paid  the  money  at  home.  Now  I'm  resolved  to 
make  haste  to  my  house.     (Runs  towards  Ms  door.) 

Thee.  Hallo  !  you  Procurer  ;  I  want  you. 

Ph^d.  And  I  want  you. 

Cap.  But  I  don't  want  either  of  you. 

Thee.  Stay  this  instant,  will  you. 

Ph2ed.  And  make  you  haste  to  disgorge  the  money  with 
all  despatch. 

Cap.  (to  Phjedeomus).  What  have  you  to  do  with  me? 
(To  the  Captain.)  Or  what  have  you? 

Thee.  Because  this  day  I  shall  be  making  a  javelin  of  you, 
discharged  from  a  catapulta,  and  twist  you  with  the  string3, 
just  as  the  catapultas  are  in  the  habit  of  doing. 

Ph^d.  I'll  this  day  make  a  coxcomb  of  you,  to  be  sleeping 
with  a  puppy4  in  your  bed — an  iron  one,  I  mean. 

Cap.  But  I'll  make  you  both  to  be  rotting  in  a  strong-barred 
prison.  Thee.  Seize  him  by  the  throat,  and  away  with  him 
to  extreme  torture. 

Ph.s:d.  However  that  is,  he'll  be  going  there  of  his  own 
accord.     (Tlie  Captain  seizes  him.) 

Cap.  O  Gods  and  men,  your  aid !  that  I,  uncondemnned, 

1  They  are  not) — Ver.  681.  He  seems  to  mean,  that,  where  there  is  no  possibility 
of  the  debtor  paying  back  the  money,  the  case  is  more  fortunate  than  where 
you  are  tormented  by  hopes  of  getting  it  back,  which,  however,  are  doomed  to  dis- 
appointment. 

2  Before  the  Prcetor) — Ver.  684.  He  was  afraid  that  Lyco  would  cheat  him,  by 
filing  his  schedule,  or  taking  the  benefit,  in  the  Roman  style.  See  the  Note  to 
l.  373  (Act  III.,  Sc.  1). 

3  With  the  string) — Ver.  690.  "  Nervus,"  "  a  cord,"  was  also  the  name  of  the 
iron  chain  fastened  round  the  neck  and  legs  of  the  prisoner.  If  the  debtor  die 
not  pay  within  thirty  days  after  judgment,  he  was  liable  to  be  thrown  into  prison 
by  the  creditor. 

4  With  a  puppy) — Ver.  691.  He  jokes  on  the  double  meaning  of  the  wjrd 
44  citellus,"  which  signified  "  an  iron  chain,"  and  also  "  a  little  dog." 


Sc.  III.  OB,  THE  EOBGEBY.  563 

and  without  evidence  against  me,  should  thus  be  dragged 
along !  Prithee,  Planesium,  and  you,  Phaedromus,  do  give 
me  assistance. 

Plan.  Brother,  I  do  beseech  you,  don't  ruin  him  uncon- 
demned ;  he  treated  me  kindly  and  modestly  at  his  house. 

Thee.  That  was  through  no  inclination  of  his  own ;  give 
you  thanks  to  this  iEsculapius1  {pointing  to  the  Temple) 
that  you've  preserved  your  chastity ;  for  if  he  had  been  well, 
he'd  long  ago  have  packed  you  off  wherever  he  could. 

Ph-ED.  Now  attend  to  me,  both  of  you,  if  I  can  arrange 
between  you.  (To  the  Captain.)  You  let  him  go.  Pro- 
curer, come  you  this  way.  I'll  pronounce  my  opinion,  if 
indeed  you  are  ready  to  abide  by  what  I  shall  decide  you 
should  do. 

Thee.  We  leave  it  to  you.     (He  lets  go  of  the  Peocxjeee.) 

Cap.  So  long,  i'  faith,  as  you  give  a  decision  to  the  effect 
that  no  one  is  to  take  the  money  away  from  me. 

Thee.  "What,  not  that  which  you  promised  ? 

Cap.  I,  promised  ?  How  ?     Thee.  "With  your  tongue. 

Cap.  With  that  same  tongue  I  now  gainsay  it ;  that  was 
given  me  by  Nature  for  the  purpose  of  speaking,  not  of 
losing  my  property. 

Thee.  He's  trifling ;  seize  the  fellow  by  the  throat. 
(Seizes  him.)     Cap.  I'll  at  once  then  do  as  you  bid  me. 

Thee.  Since  you  are  an  honest  man,  answer  me  this  that 
I  ask  you.     Cap.  Ask  me  what  you  please. 

Thee.  Did  you  not  promise,  that  if  any  one  should  show 
that  she  (pointing  to  Plane-sium)  was  freeborn,  you  would 
pay  back  all  the  money  ?     Cap.  I  don't  remember  saying  so. 

Thee.  What,  do  you  deny  it  ?  Cap.  F  faith,  I  really  do 
deny  it.     In  whose  presence  *?    In  what  place  was  it  ? 

Thee.  In  my  own  presence,  and  that  of  Lyco  the  banker. 

Cap.  Why  don't  you  hold  your  tongue  ? 

Thee.  I  shan't  hold  my  tongue. 

Cap.  I  don't  care  a  rush  for  you ;  don't  be  bullying  me. 

Thee.  In  my  own  presence  and  that  of  Lyco  it  took  place. 

Ph^I).  (to  the  Captain).  I  quite  believe  you.  Now, 
therefore,  Procurer,  that  you  may  know  my  judgment, 
(pointing  to  Planesium)  she  is  a  free  woman ;  he  (pointing 
to  the  Captain)  is  her  brother,  and  she  is  his  sister ;  she  is 

1  To  this  j£sculapiu8)—Ver.  699.  Who  had  not  granted  him  convalescence  so 
soonas  he  desired. 


564  cueculio.  Act  V. 

engaged  to  me ;  do  you  restore  him  the  money ;  that's  my 
decision. 

Cap.  Upon  my  faith,  Phaedromus,  you  have  given  this  de- 
cision corruptly.  It  shall  both  be  bad  for  you,  and  you,  Cap- 
tain,— may  the  Gods  and  Goddesses  confound  you. 

Thee.  And  as  for  you,  you  shall  be  clapt  in  prison  at 
once,  unless  the  money's  returned  me. 

Cap.  Then  follow  me.     Thee.  Follow  you  where  ? 

Cap.  To  my  banker — to  the  Praetor1 ;  for  it's  there  that 
I  pay  my  money  to  all  persons  to  whom  I'm  indebted. 

Thee.  I'll  be  carrying  you  hence  to  prison,  and  not  to  the 
Praetor,  if  you  don't  pay  back  the  money. 

Cap.  I  do  most  earnestly  wish  you  may  come  to  a  bad  end, 
so  don't  misunderstand  me2. 

Thee.  Do  you  really  so  ?     Cap.  I'  faith,  I  really  do  so. 

Thee.  I  don't  misunderstand  these  fists  of  mine.  {Hold- 
ing them  zip.) 

Cap.  What  then  ?  Thee.  What  then,  do  you  ask  ?  With 
these  same  fists,  if  you  provoke  me,  I'll  be  making  you  quiet 
immediately. 

Cap.  {taking  the  money  from  his  girdle).  Well  then,  take 
this  back  at  once. 

Thee,  {taking  the  money).  By  all  means. 

Phjed.  Captain,  you'll  dine  with  me ;  the  nuptials  shall 
take  place  to-day. 

Thee.  May  this  matter  turn  out  well  for  me  and  for 
yourselves. 

An  Actoe. 

Spectators,  give  us  your  applause. 

1  7b  the  Prcetor)—Ver.  722.  See  the  Note  to  1.  684. 

2  Don't  misunderstand  me) — Ver.  724.  "  Ne  me  nescias."  Equivalent  to  our 
phrase,  "  I  fully  give  you  to  understand." 


END  OF  VOL.  I. 


LONDON:    PRINTED  BT  -WILLIAM  CLOWES  AND  SONS,   LIMITED,   STAMFORD  STREET 
AND  CHARING  CROSS. 


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